Athletico Mince - Ep. 82 - Night Blight

Episode Date: May 13, 2019

Jordan Henderson’s home explored, Jez in the gym, Peter has a good stare, the White Harts’ half time team-talk and the British Managers Lunch Club's end-of-season awards…. Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Here we are in Soho. Oh, you got that again. Musical theater running through your blood in it. Yeah, I have. Wow, that's where I am, yeah. You went to the land. You went to the school a good time, I off what where I am, yeah. Theater land. You went to the school a good times, didn't you? I did.

I walked on Canoughby Street this morning. I mean, we're here. Yeah. Very, very, very, very pedestrianized. Maybe you could say that. I've heard. When you walk down Canoughby Street, you never know what you'll say. A human mermaid in a rubber bra or a man with leprosy.

That's two of the things I've seen. I've seen a kind of a strict... That song was it by my way. I've seen a kind of... I've just had a very unusual incident. I do look out for a unusual incident. I tell you, I once trapped me finger between two saucepanons. No.

When I was putting them away. I don't know why you haven't told me that. That's an unusual incident. And someone to it is me that say they'd suffered an unusual incident. They trapped their hand in the slot of a toaster, just as they were walking past it. That's an unusual incident. An unusual incident. Perhaps the listeners could to it in with their unusual incidents.

Well, he is man. He is a regular feature. Here's man, as you know, I just man. He is a regular feature. He is man. That's you know, I just went to the toilet in these facilities. Yes. Yeah. And it was a sit down, right?

And you very quick, as I got up from the toilet, I banged my head on the sink. What angle did you get up at? So that's unusual, isn't it? We're getting like any of the, any of the A-Gle Edwards kind of ski jump position. No, I just jump forward. I was thinking like you are, I was just got up, back to going up and looking a minute and

checking the geography of this toilet area. Well, I'll give it a couple of days now. I'll offer you one name, Andrew. It's Dougie Brisket. He's got massive hands, head the size of a peach and two hearts. His Alsace and Gareth has tenable munch. Is it main munch? Munch, main munch. He's got massive hands, head the size of a peach, and two hearts, his alcation, Gareth has tenable munch. Is it main munch?

Munch, main munch. It's up to you, are you can be runny up? No, I'll have that. You'll have that, be with that. Nice to see you, Don't be brisk. Thank you very much, you've got a couple of choices in here as well, you can be the former cinema. Yeah.

Rekens, he used to be a cinema, and he's planning to become a Weatherspoon, probably a liar, or you can be chunky-ramened. He injects ghosts, fattening them to all the right places in order to make himself become a weathered spawns, probably a liar, or you can be chunky-ramened, injects ghosts, fattin' into all the right places in order to make himself become a cube. He was awarded King Kong of Stockton five times in the last six years, only missed out on one occasion when he was in prison for being a massive buddy. For being a massive buddy. Being a massive buddy.

I'm going to be onki-tongk. Or you can be Tonk McHongk? Well, well, let me see you brought that in late, didn't you? Yeah, that's a fucking injury time. Have you enjoyed your football this week, just briefly to ask? It's been crazy, hasn't it? It's been so much fun, yeah. I mean, now the Duster's Settle, I was so pleased for both teams, genuine late.

All four teams, really. But now the Duster's Settle, I'm not that interested in the final. It's just suddenly after the Sky Sports is a shame, in it. Well, spurs from the get. Well, there you go. They should have the both of Wembley. Do you want a quiz, Andrew?

You don't have to, you don't have to. Yeah, I'm taking you to a budget sports outlet. I thought this would suit you better, you know. You know what I mean? Track suit that would. Exactly. One of those, right? It's called Cap, Boeing, Quack, Quack, oops, hockey, PENOTS! Tennis, Pap, Boeing, give me just a little more time. Boxing, Thwack crunch, oh yeah. Budgets sports outlet, four items, sports equipment.

Can you, I'm not gonna say grade them, but that makes me sound like a sun per person. That'll be a good quiz, sun per person. Have you done that for us next week? Do you know what we'll go DIY? No, we'll go hardware shop next week, all right? What, nails and tax on that? Scrubbing brush, yeah.

That's sort of thing. Good. 11 foot carb rod. Hockey stick. Tennis racket. Boxing gloves. Cheapest boxing gloves, singular gloves. Gloves, yeah.

Cheapest adult version. So just have one more. It's a lot of your need while I'm going to knock it about straight away. Cheapest is a lemon foot car, broad hockey stick tennis racket boxing glove. Cheapest is tennis rackets then boxing glove, then carp rod and the most expensive of the hockey stick. boxing glove then carp rod and the most expensive is the hockey stick. Andrew, maybe it's time that product 11.99, boxing glove 8.99. You're trying to tell me the cheapness tennis rack and you get a 16 quid. Yeah, adult. I use a kid's wall, mate. Yeah, but you do, yeah. That's a terrible tennis Andrew.

When was the last time you cut a golf ball up and then I don't look at what's inside? Oh, long time ago. You're making me miss it now. Should we take that? You've just played Catboying, Quack, Quack, Oops, Hockey, Prynuts, tennis, Pat, Buying, give me just a little more time, boxing, Thwack Crunch, oh yeah, and you were shit. As per usual, I thought about the sport and the arena. Have you noticed anything a bit different about it? It's like, you look a bit plumper, I feel. Oh, that's not what I was driving at. Like, I've been with the gym a bit.

Have you ever heard of? Yeah, well, it's the wrong sort of gym. Lost a little bit of weight, and maybe it's torn up a little bit. You don't think I have? Nope. I've been on the quadri-cizer. Don't know what that is.

Rain on the push me pull me. Alright, that doesn't work then. 20 minutes on that, no. So I'm on that and then, you know, I'm giving it six now on the push me pull me. Yeah. And are you this voice? So you know,

Jeremy Corbin's in the gym. Yeah. So you knew that I think you're hercules, don't you? On your push me pull me. He's got dumbbells in a chand. Yeah. He's got a massive army backpack on his back. Whoa.

He's wearing like white socks, sports socks right up to the days. And sliders, is it, are they cold? Yeah, they're nice shoes. Like, they're, what are the shoes? I don't know what you were going to say. They flip, flip, flip, flip. Oh, flip, flip. Sliders, the cold. Okay. All the players wear them and that. I flip flop, flip flop. Oh, flip flop. Slide is the call.

I'll play as a rather than that. So I says, what's in your back pack there Jeremy? Rocks, British rocks. Oh. All right then. This is what you're working out with that on your back for them. This is because I can.

You were Pauling little Bellwiff. Ooh. Fighting talk. So he says to us, how many kettle squids can you do on the Alfred Law Tennyson? And he's pointing over to the corner. There's not even a machine there. So I don't know what he's on about. I don't know what Alfred Law Tennyson is.

I'm confused, like, so I don't wanna see a too high a number, I guess, you know, I've made myself look like an idiot in front of Jeremy Corbyn, that's the last thing I want. So I just says, two, he says, I've been meant to look like an idiot in front of Jeremy Corbyn. That's the last thing I want So I just says two He says ask me my best one. Go on. Ask me my best kettle squits. Right All right, then Jeremy. What's your best ever kettle squits? He says 433 standard and reverse I still have not got a clue what he's on about but he's very I still have not got a clue what he's on about but he's very Pacifica's I guess about what he's saying to me so I says

Adrian in here and you don't know that dear than Jeremy says no Billy Bragg's here he's gone for a sauna right this is all nice he hasn't gone for a shit then says no what he does in there is his own business and then he picked up a telephone directory and he started trying to rip it in half. Did he? I'd know. I'd wandered off. I was a bit embarrassed.

I wandered off. Got myself a curly, curly out the machine. So British rocks. British rocks. It's working out. Good heavy rocker British rocker. I'm going to offer it a little tennis. Yeah.

You're going to get into British rock, aren't you? British sacks and then that. Free sacks. Yeah. Midwife. Deep purple. Clunker. You could have had this episode three days earlier if you subscribe with club passives and it would have any adverts in it.

It's only two pounds a month plus that and you get every episode of mince three days before non-subscribers with all adverts took out. At least one exclusive episode of our Athletical Pass Nips spin-off podcast, a Benpick's animation, a compilation episode each month, and Advanced Notice, an early boutick, so any future live shows we may or may not do, how about that? Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Shit! Don't fuck about Henry and just chose one. Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh athleticoleminz.com slash parsnips. So, Peter is being touched Mr Beadsley. Yes, he sent me one of his, I was supposed to call it, tips or your blogger something. Oh, everyone's having a listen to that, shall we?

Oh, right. So, I think the timer has come that I talked to you about boiling the bag cod with parsley sauce. I don't know if you're familiar with it but it's a chunk of cod meat about the size of a pack of cards, sealed in a plastic bar, which is containing a book resource with us've got that out of the way at last. Well, well, it's been a fun year away. You know, you know, you know. On Tuesday, I went to a new favourite bus stop. I've a good old stair at the estate entrance opposite. Ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, ond, used to see on a bus conductor. And you have to a bit of sense.

Oh, you're a bit of bajillion, aren't you? What are you doing here? I'm a good old star at your state agents. You know, watching, coming and going and you know, what about you? I'm up in there, stare at the mini-market, two doors down. Oh, I never thought that staring at that lake, is it decent stare, you know? Oh, yeah, it's sweet as, plenty of footfall, and if you you're looking someone might come out then go back in because the forgotten nightam, EG, household bleach. I never thought of staring at the minima, do you mind if I give it a go. Nor beat my guest-mate. Well, it turned out to be a tremendous stare.

I even got to see a bloc come out who had all the law did is carry a bag and it busts on the paper. We both near the north of what he had bought. Pack of Rive either, dark ride, two tens of P&M soup, and four bananas, fiveth, but Rive either, Pack of headaches and three balls of bird's pecking fat, you know, netted.

Packed our whole shoulder matches. And well, we bought a grid, it was probably the live-eater that had chipsed the bag over its capacity. Anyway, after a couple of hours, I knew this deed started fiddling around herself. I said me farewells I went back home to the wife and it had been a lovely session. So I next day I'm in the kitchen counting out it eggs and a 112 marathots for an early evening peomlet for the wife when she shout out at me. Get through here you crazy little bastard!

So I'll rush through the telly room and she is frozen a lot of news item on the screen. What is it my darling? Is that your one for a TV? Then next to that good look and fella making him look shit. So I asked the player on and I can tell his me like and that blog from the bus stop turns out he was an armed robber and he was kissing the giant. He robbed it last night and police were putting a pitch out, you know, with me as his accomplice. Well, that's a last thing I need, you know, and what I have to trouble with the foreign last night.

Love, all I was doing was having a staring, a bit of chitchat, you know, I don't even know the block. The picture is pretty great, you know, I don't think you can tell it's me like. Can't tell it's you. How else in for a new castle has got a haircut like a fucking heavy store and an inch? I've totally stopped, I can't around fucking bust ups. Someone's bound to a senior, your two fucking spooky, don't forget, get down the fucking copshop and explain yourself. Well, I get the copshop and the robber fell his eyes, he's there and cuff like on the

bench. I tell a sergeant me story, but he stops me and says, I've viewed all the CVT, Mae'n gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith I want you to forgun promise that you will stop acting around forgun my shelter as you don't see forgun clown. You are promise love. Is it okay if I hang around the retail pack or on low walls or sitting me cat in the garden center? Yes that's forgun fine. Now where's my forgun even in omelette? You gloomy face sat you the fucking shit

he just got me nose so like I say a funny old week you know anyway a couple of jokes like you know but me old joke book just the old jokes like you know Do you all joke, I hear you? Can you make me breakfast in bed as the wife? No, sorry love, I'll have to go to the kitchen. Yeah, per lease care, my arm last night and told me me dogs which is people and bikes. Not sure, I said my dog's done ain't up bikes. So I saw someone waving a den, you know,

and I didn't know whether it was me or the wave not of someone else. In other news, I was sucked from my lifeguard job. Sorry I'm gone. Oh, anyway that's a better goodbye boxer. Say you're wrong. One Pete LBT. The only one Pete LBT. Say you're wrong.

Oh sorry. Oh, packing fat eh? Yeah but it oh pecking fat, eh? Yeah, but it's pecking fat netted. Oh, you had a problem with that, didn't you? Oh, man, you can believe it. I've got fat balls near the wall. Yeah. One of them cylindrical cages.

Someone keeps pulling it off. And then just eating all the fat balls when they're on the ground. So I get like a stand-and-metal stand. Yeah. So I've got my pain, not singing on it. I've got my fat balls when they're on the ground. So I've got to get like a stand, a metal stand. So I've got my peanuts hanging on it, I've got my fat balls hanging on it, and I've got some seeds as well. And a bird bath. And have they remained unchallenged with that around you?

They're still hanging, but there's this wood pitch in the hands around and just helps themselves to everything. He sits on the bird bath so that he can get stuck into the seeds and he just shits in the birdbath. And does he spill on? He acts like a man, you know what I mean? And is he spilling stuff all the time?

You know, is he getting the seeds and spilling them on the boat? No, he's quite accurate. He's quite tired. I've got a life and fork, as we... No, I'm not saying what. Seen out, Decent? You know what? I mean, watching anything for the footballers last couple of weeks. I'm so good at the minute. It is though. I haven't really got

anything. Herd Mansfield were very good last night. I don't know anything about that. I'm trying not to think about the playoffs. Did you know British Managers Club met up this week? Yeah, I was at Rolls Restaurant, luckily. Because it was, and I was lucky, because it was there end of season, award ceremony. Will you ever take mate to Rolls Restaurant? No, I don't suppose they'd let you in. Well, why?

Just because you look, you know, like, it doesn't actually say no northerners. But, you know what, I mean, I get away with that. I say, oh, hello. Are you put a lot under you? Yeah. All right, what a fairer. For sure.

I say, you're not northerners, are you, Sally? I say, absolutely no. Oh, how dare you suggest such a thing. So, big sums there, Padju, Poulis, Moise, Hughes, War, Knock it all there. Right, you know what, I mean. So, I get Nokidola, right, you know what I mean. So I get the boob next to him and this is how it went. Yeah? Big Sam.

Order, order. Another great season. So first up, I propose a toast to all the gullible chairman and CEOs that have made this a bumper year and they all sing. Money, money, money, money, money, and lick the lunch club badges that they have on the pearls. So we have three awards to present to there. First up is the Lunch Club Lifetime Achievement Award. It's a beautiful trophy, depicting a briefcase full of cash on the back seat of a merc outside a decaying stadium

given in recognition of truly outstanding and consistent destruction of clubs by a British manager Well, he's fled then he's bled The chairman at QPR Stoke and Southampton and fullham in an incredible eight years and Southampton and Fulham in an incredible eight years, nutting himself 18 million quid, and they all say, joiden with the Andy, money, money, money, money, money, and lick their club budget. It's Mr Mark Hughes! Well, I don't know what's really in it.

Well, I don't know what to say really in it. My mum just seems to come second-natured to me, don't it? Buy shit, pick shit, play shit. You know, don't give a shit, then shit happens. Rinse and repeat. Thank you for the word, and it's actually the only thing I've ever won as a man I do. What a lovely speech like a dowel or James Blunt at the best. Now the next award is the lingering death award sponsored by our friends at Weedall. It's a lovely trophy depicting a constrictor snake wrapped around the neck of some

hapless walking German. This is awarded for an especially slow and drawn out description of a club combined with a ferocious desire to never figure a bumper payout. Money, money, money, money, money, money, and lick their lapels. So for his stubborn and extended strangulation of Middlesbury Football Club, it's Mr Tony Poulis. Well, what's Tony Poulis? Is he like, is he Bristol?

Well, it's the third time I've won this award. And like Mark, it's the only thing I've ever won as a manager. So of course, it makes me very proud. I'm known, of course, makes me very proud. I'm known of course as Pepperpot Pullis, because I like to grind the players and fans and the club into submission. It's slow, it's painful, and of course it's lucrative. Money, money, money, money, money, money, money,

with their badges. And of course a big thanks to our sponsors, Weedall, the only systematic toxin that kills its target right down to the roots. What a lovely speech, sir. Like Barbara Dixon, a Michael Ball at their very best. So, onto the final award, the Destroy an Exit British manager of the year. It's a beautiful trophy depicting a chairman with his pants down by his ankles and a corner flag up his ass. Sponsored this year by Teniman personal leakage pads, this year's winner, it had't know what to say really. A big thank you, of course, to Mr Thennandes for pulling the trigger whilst I was still under contract.

A big thank you to the cleaning staff at QPR, whose maintenance routine on the office carpets was the best I've ever experienced. The players of course for letting everyone down whilst remaining clean and well-mannered towards the hopper session. But most of all, I'd like to thank my bestest ever friend Casper. He's the most yummy long yellow pipe of bubbles, kisses and laughter in the whole world. David, miles chips in. Yes, dude.

I think you've got a bit of onion bulge on your forehead. No, you silly, radney de planca. That's me, ha, la, la, la, la, la. Well, at that moment, there's a commotion behind us. And they're in hollow-way forces. It's way to the table. He talks like pureness. He's found. No, he's got a mad looking his eyes, blood on his cheeks and a cat and a farm cider in his hand.

A farm cider. Ears the thang, that trophy should be mine. That goat dollop, Nick, my job he did! We could have finished 15th when we were at the home, let me iron! Sam grabs him by the colour. Ian lad, come on lad mate, you bang out of order, coming in here with your aggrissider and mouthing off. You tell him Sam, he's acting like a prick in a balloon factory, it's that tractor Joseph's drinking, it's bent his mind towards the food kept in. Well, Ian makes a lunch towards Steve, so big Sam layers him out flat like and the staff take him out of the building.

Well, Sam, that was a bit unpleasant, like a stormsy song, a little Wayne at his worst. Oh, look, here comes the very, very sparrer hawk. Tucking lads, it's been one hell of a year. And that Andy is exactly what they did exactly what happened money money money money money so there you go what do you reckon Alan Puelos has got he might have been sat by the time we put this out I would think that there's contracts up in this season isn't it is good to to go? I think he's got another year. As a, and I don't think he'll shift until he gets the dosh, so that's a tricky one, isn't it? So it goes, isn't it?

That's how it goes. As you know, I've been listening on the radio to a new show from Martin for Holmes under the hammer, where he visits famous footballers homes. Yeah. So this week he went to visit Jordan Anderson. Yeah, okay. So I turned it.

Ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, tin, doo, doo, doo, doo, ma, ma, ma, ma, tin, doo, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, tin, doo, doo, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, tin, doo, doo, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, tin, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, ma, ma, ma, doo ma ma ma ma Martin Ma Martin Hello, I'm Martin from Hobbs on Zlahama And today I'm at the home of Jordan Anderson Who plays football for the Liverpool Football Club team Knock knock knock Oh Christ, have I not peered? I'll get you a ladder. When's the gift shop

bought and you won't catch me in the uni, Buggie? Are you really a pet man, might as well be all the cuts and that? Well, that's not news, you tell me a bit about it garbage yeah mostly flat electric comes out of walls see through her ears windows are drawn trust Emily but at least you would see a churn coming I have a chance to get the council in before I impact Lake Rodents, Palisites, Putty Knife, or after Lake. I know what you mean and I like it. That's a rather big TV.

Do you like TV and what they're sure on the TV when the TV is undue? Oh yeah, it's me favorite like different colours, sudden movements, new friends, things you can buy. It's all there, you're more controlled, you know, like how your hair grows like. Do you like a big pile of lampshanks in the corner? No one knows why they're there, apart from the pub. I do like it. It's quite unusual, a little bit different and this must be your kitchen. I so pound to get in, but I refund that like, got a hot box, spinning machine, water guns, flat floor, buzzing noise. I had the heel-hate in a room before I leave it!

Oh, I've got the Galaxy Ripple Yum Yum Papa Rumble Rumble, it's your corner nut! Thank you so much, Jordan, and most of the news you allow us a little bit different but one that I really like I wish you all the best Oh, I have fucked off! So that was yours.

I like it. You sure, Martin's doing. It's good. It's definitely potential in it. The Love It. The Gooo. Oh, how good, Ruth. Is the EU?

Please do not be all spooked. That was fucking so upset, right? Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Oh, how good is the EU? Please do not be all spooked that. Just fuck and stuff straight, right? Sorry. How are your seven charcrus today Robert? Are they all flowing freely and in a positive direction? Well, I've checked my main ones this in fine, yeah. Oh, seven? I'll take five.

I've checked three. I've checked three. Three. Three, three. Three charcrus. That's good enough for me. What do you prefer self-improvement texts at the moment? What are you currently reading for intellectual purishments? The greatest digest was the chips? It was out months! Oh, I'm not really reading it. Maybe you should be in bible and some medical brochures.

It will aid you when you are blighted at night in the water boobs barbers. Night blight? I do have nightbikes. How are things in the realm of your water works? Oh, particularly when you are sitting at the hours of your water works. Oh, particularly attention to the hours of sleep. I'll probably interrupt you twice a night. Twice a night. Regular. Yeah. Same time every night. Two o'clock is the first. Two and four. Two and four is pretty accurate. Yeah. Do you dream about me, Robert? About me. Me. With the goo. Do you have been? You have been in my

trusty, that's a positive thing. Don't worry, I'm sure it won't be long till your wife suggests you go off and start sleeping in the bath and you'll both see a very huge consultation with my brother. You don't know him. Okay, we'll thank you. We just go get your job at a beer or the shun just where you pray. Well, as always, thank you very much. You are a retreating from you going piece and that. Namaste. What have you got? Namaste.

I can hear him, but... Well, it's lovely to have him as it were on my side, you know what I mean. That's what Guru is doing it. Oh, and Andrew is a thing. As you know, I have a spy in the Tottenam camp keeping an eye on the white gank. It's not Eric Lamellar. Right. It's not Eric Lamella. Right. Oh, it's not Eric Lamella.

Tripia. No way, I'm not all I'm saying is not Eric Lamella. Daniel Ross, keeping an eye on the white art gang. As you can imagine, it was all going off in the dressing room at half time. Until now, looking on the way out. So the players wandered in, sit down, you know, in silence on the benches.

Posh it in tow, Tee, no, stands in the middle of the room. Posh it in tow. Posh it in tow. That'll do. And Jesus Perra's as assistant starts playing the accordion. Oh, Posh strikes up. What a matter you, what do you think you do? Why you look so sad? Why you play so bad? It's a big disgrace. Get out of this place. Then he goes over to the cattle area, starts making himself a chicken curry for a pot noodle. I think he's lost it. Too much for him. So at this point you need a hero, don't you? He's gonna be the hero. Harry Kane, Stan Kiel. He's gonna be the hero.

Boss. I have done it for ages. Boss, singing the whole of this song is not going to dig us out of this. We need to look deep into ourselves and try and understand our failings, as suspected goes without saying that I'm in the right fluffy buffery, I'm in half a man to throw in clean water to all of you. Debbie Chipson. Harry, I think Mr. Posterchino is hurting. Well, it's you, it should be Vex Debbie. You're wondering around the pitch like a fart in a squash cart which very upsetting as we all know you have such lovely long legs which could be very effective if put to proper use. And you Keirin, Jippie, what's going on with you?

I think I've become shit at football. You could say that again Keirin times five and put a cream horn on top to boat And that awful great diggers haircut can't be helping put some of Debbie's product on it for the second half It might give you a Mickey Mook boost What if you got to save yourself Danny was so far as I can tell you're just huffing in a puffing like a huffing puff monster in a haunted piffling shed Danny well, yeah, you know, I am, you know, running my ass off, you know, at least I'm not, you know, wondering about like Erickson, you know, he looks like, you know, thinking about his next batch of, you know, nutty shite rather than the match, you know,

about his next batch of nutty shite rather than the match, you know? Don't you? There have a good Mr. Christian. He very occasionally has the ability to change the course of the game and his face is as cute as a mouse lick in the chocolate button. What about you, something? I thought you were meant to be shit hot. I will be faster, hotter, quicker, stronger, at promise boss. Fine, can you stop fucking smiling all the time? This is a football match not a goofing tournament for slowwits. There's only one thing for it. One of you is going to have to rub my magic chin with your nose and chance first some of my exciting abilities into themselves I will let you choose.

Well before I reconcerned of a word Lucas Mora jumps up furiously rubs his nose against Harry's magic chin Harry says we are the white hearts feel our ferocious hate. So Andrew the rest is history. This is history. This is the more a scores three. Yeah. And we're all looking forward to a bog standard. Yeah. And if you like fixture for the championship like final. And if you didn't believe in Harry's magic chin, maybe you do now. Maybe I always did. Well, maybe you always did. I think the two managers should get together and just, you know, have a pact that they're both going to fucking go for it in this final.

Yeah, and not be tactical or anything. And, you know, in a semi-finals, this should just fucking go at it. Tottenham level, Pomeran, Thomas. Hey, Opsil. Do you have a preference? Not really. I don't know how to kill this. Hey, Upsol. Do you have a preference? Not really. I don't. I don't have a killness. Yeah, I wish it were Chelsea playing, and I don't have... You could somebody here. He he he.

He he. Before we go, do you want to call me a useless old knacker? I mean, useless old fucking knacker, I know. All right, thanks for any more time. We'll be back next time. Next time, see you out. Da-da! you