Athletico Mince - Ep. 89 - The Vampire And The Potter

Episode Date: August 29, 2019

A look back at Deadline Day on Talksport, Roy pops in, Dom Littlewood scours Teesside, Neil Hunt faces an evil darts foe, plus Jordan, Dyche and a new hoover…  Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome to a theoretical mint with me Bob Mortimer. It's so kind of you to join us today. And as always, I hope you're enjoying good health and happiness in your life. To start off with, I would like you to imagine you're lying on a deserted beach where the only sound is that of the gentle waves breaking on the beach and the gentle breeze caressing the leaves of the palm trees behind. You stretch out your fingers into the warm sand

and dig your toes beneath the surface to enjoy the cool damp sand beneath. Reaching into your cool box, you remove a chilled salad of crab, lobster, avocado and salsa. As you raise the plate to take your first delicious bite, a lump of herring shit, the size of a pitter bread, lands plum in the centre of your salad. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my co-host, Mr Andrew Dawson. Good morning, good morning, Bob.

Oh, Andrew Dawson. Oh, Mr Dawson. His tit sweat in the sun. His tits wet in the sun, drip, drip, drip, stars in. Oh Mr. Dawson, first like a hot cross bun, that's Mr. Dawson. His such a caution. Hi Andy. Hi there. I forgot to sing along, I sang sang a long last bit of last night. Yeah, you sang a long one! Sorry!

Is that cos it's making you a bit moody, salty? You were a little bit stuffy, nice, nothing nice things you see about us. It's just, you know, a cumolus, we're a London, you know, a lot of us. No, not in Paris. Ah! Give us a quiz Andy. Well, imagine I like him cos he's been on rammas, but you know, I'll tell you about it later. No, well, we're lend it. You'll end up in court, though.

No, it was kind of timid of court, like. So many of the stuff was mental to us. It's just a man who's just got, like, things going on in his life, right? Have you got a quiz for you? I've got a quiz for you, it's called. Boeing, boom, check. Black, whoosh, summers, P-N-E-T-F-E-E-T-F-E-E-E-E-T-F-E-E-T-F-E-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-T-F-E-E-T- Right, here we are, we've got four renowned pop stars. Yeah, to do four, didn't you? Yeah, I did, yeah. And I want you to put them in order of age.

All right, you've heard of all of them. Okay, go ahead. Come on, here we go. They're all around about your age, so you'll be familiar with. And these summers of the police, Paul Rodgers of Free, I'll put that in, because that's your favorite group.

Yeah. Try to help you a bit Brian ferry of Roxy music and Brian ferry and Jet black of the stranglers I want you to tell me who's the oldest and then work you way down or the other way top to you Are you googling them? No, I'm just writing them out So it was some and the summers and the summers of Free, Brian Ferry of the Roxy Music, Jet Black of Stranglers.

Stranglers came round in the air. Right, I've reached my conclusions, Andrew. Let's hear it. All the summers, then Rogers, then Black, then Ferry. No, me. Ah! I'm happy. No, we're near. DADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADAD Paul Rogers is the youngest out of all of them 69 years of age. Wow. And all, I'm just gonna be your head there, I don't know. Oh, I quite enjoyed that.

I enjoyed it. We've learnt something as well and I've seen you hear Millie Ed. That's told me for everything. So that you've just played Boeing Bunchak Black, Wush, Summers, P-N-E-R-T, Ferry,

Give me just a little more time! Rogers, up to me naked it! Twang, Boeing, and your lust. Right, Andrew. Did you listen to Talksport, Deadline Day? Oh, Mr. White, oh, was it good? Covering the last few hours of the transfer,

or I realised it was really interesting, so I turped it. I'll play it now, Andrew, please do. So it's Jim White, you know. Welcome to Deadline Day, we'll meet Jim White folks. Surely the most exciting day of the year by a distance. I'm joined today by Mr. Steve McLaren in his snake Casper. So how excited are you, Steve? We're both very excited, Tim. It's like being part of an exciting story

where the end is as yet unwritten. But I am so excited that the hairs on the back of your hair that's standing up, or like me, or you're so excited that your un retract has filled up with pancreatic acid. What about you at home? I want to know how excited you are. Are parts of your body shutting down due to excitement? Are you coping okay? So Steve, I see

you've brought a little trophy along with you. How exciting is that? Yes, it's been a while given to me and Casper by the National Carpet Association in recognition for our workers and ambassadors Mae'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r f exciting thing in the world. Oh, that's easy. It's when Casper does one of his banger dances on my bed. My heart skips a beat because he's such a yummy, bubbly, cup full of suds and wilds. Yeah. I'm not with you, nasty. For me, deadline day is the most exciting occurrence

in human history, nothing of note coming in at the moment. So let's take a break. Do do do, shelves and windows. Do do do and kitchen cabinets do. Do do do, free installation. Do do do, hidden charges will apply. Right, that pancreatic acid is now seeping into my balls. That's how excited I am. And to an even more excitement, into the excitement pile, we're joined now by

X Blackpool and QPR manager Ian Holloway. Can I go just straight away say, I'm excited, I'm the beer today, and also state that I no longer bear a grudge with Steve for taking my average manager's job at QPR. Let's go at shake on it Steve. I must say that's very nice to hear Ian. Do you ever see anything of Mr Fernandez? Me and Casper missing so much. Well he's a surprise for your lads. I've actually got Mr Fernandez, the QPR chairman on the phone now. How exciting is that folks? Hello Tony, how are you? I'm just fine, thank you. I just finished a Frank Fudder role with a slice of tomato pie on the side. It's made my joy, but I ain't complaining. I got Steven in with me, two of your ex-manages. What would you like to say to them?

Yeah, not so much. Perishubis, if you get my drift. I kinda like the Snake Casper. I think we could have maybe finished 15th if I'd stuck with him. You expect in any incoming ZQBR? Haha, that's very good. Haha. Yeah, sure thing. I'm expecting a consignment of Kabushi Bellies from Long Island

and by am I gonna steal those suckers till they weep. Anyway, I'm expecting a consignment of Kabushi berries from Long Island and by am I gonna stil'o suck a silly weep. Anyway, I gotta go now, don't forget, life's too short to be a dope! Kabushi berries, how exciting is that? And talking of excitement, I've just received reports that Joe Peacock from Chesterfield is going on loan to York City. What'd you make of that,eon? Well, I don't go out and all the lad, nor have I ever seen him play, but I think it's a good move for both clubs.

What's that Casper? You think Aeon's a stupid little bald bastard? That's not very nice. Certainly, isn't it? How are you going to respond to that Ian with something exciting? Come here snake thing, I hate you and this is my moment, I'm going to strangle you right up. Get off in, leave Casper alone, you fucking moose. Oh how exciting is this, phone in if you're excited. I've got acid actually seeping into my belly now. That's how excited I am. seeping into my belly now. That's how excited I am. Take that! Oh, oh, he's only gone and lamped. Holloway with his carpet trophy.

How exciting do you want back after this break? Don't be a sheep. Don't be a cow. Don't be a pig. be a human being and buy your replacements from infinity windows they won't last long and they're not very strong but they're as cheap as booze an unusual development for mints to just play a bit of talk sport, but... The gym white was in the room. It was like gym white was in the room.

I want to talk about my vacuum cleaner. Oh, this is a good development in the vacuum cleaner realm. I've admitted to Feig Bob with the Chinese cordless model that I've been assisting with. What's happened? I mean, you know the last time I had been catching Antenna, that's about all it's good for. That's about all it's good for. I've been living a lie. You knew I was talking shite about it.

So what if you dive your burried it? I'm putting a little free cycle. It's still got to mantin it. But I don't know whether I should list it with or without. Ants, I could list it as a vacuum cleaner, this useless algorithm. I'd list it as an ant farm. I think that you should do a combo next. A combo. Or a chance of getting shot.. I've got list it as an an ant farm. I think that you should do a combination. A combo.

A more chance of getting shot. So I've ordered a new one. I did a proper research and I've got a shark. Oh, they've got a little bit of them. Quite pricey. I've got, Andrew, I don't know the shark range but I've heard good things about it. This was direct from the shark website and it was it was toned required down from 3, 4, 9. So next year delivery as well. So a key, delivery block came just as I was getting out the shower a couple of days ago. Is this a satire? So I had a towel, a towel wrapped around me, but Embarrassed. Yeah. So I opened the door in many way and he says, So you know, oh, he's going to call me, call me, call me, deliver and hovers and he says, Oh, it's Jeremy Corbyn. Jeremy Corbyn, Delivering Hovers.

He says, yeah, senior, thinking your Jeff Capes there or his long standing rival, the late John Paul Sigmason. I've just come out, I'm not trying to be a competitive strong man or anything. I mean, look at his body.

There's nothing strong about this at all, is the, he says, what's your best sit-ups? I don't know. I don't know. I try and go to the gym now and again Bob, but I never do sit-ups when I'm there, I'll go on the bike or the run-of-the-machain or something.

So he doesn't give any, he says, Go on, ask me mine, ask me my best sit-ups. I says, what's your best sit-ups Jeremy? He says, 11. Wow. I says, that's not very many sit-ups. I said, what's your best sit-ups Jeremy? This is 11. Well, I said, that's not very many sit-ups. I hadn't finished 11 million under 11. Boss. I said, all right fair enough.

I'm standing there water dripping off me. I just want me new shot, vacuum cleaner. I don't need this, you know. I said, all right fair enough, you win. You win it, sit it ups. He says And they're just then Billy Bragg shouts from across the delivery van Yeah, we drive Bragg's driving the van and he's sure to I need a shit. We drove past an Fletex track on the way. It's all covered in moss and weeds offering. I'll drop it on that

And Jeremy goes off leaves leaves the shark. I got a shark. I got me shark and then they were gone We're here to eat so competitive in the space. It's just always with me. Still often he never hurts you No, I mean that's a guy. Yeah, there's a lot of emotional pain So Sean Daesh, yeah, I managed to intercept a WAV. Oh WAV? There's been some talk of MP3s from Sean Daesh, but he's sticking with the WAV. It was a WAV. I'll shut up.

No, it's alright. This one he sent to his players after their defeat against Arsenal. So defeated the hands of those cheating southern fannies, Arsenal. Remember, dive, fair injury, couscous, caffuccino, weep, fall over, finger foods, And that's the arsenal way. A burnley it's all about honest graft, head to the ground and don't act dufft. Premier League survival is all that matters. Spend the money on defenders and never attackers. All I ask is for grit, graft and gammon. You can fuck off home with your oak smoke salmon. Industry without pleasure. Long balls at your leisure. If you want to scoreog, and that's the Burnley way. There was

in to go the club artists that that was. Yeah nice one for that. Good stuff. Ask yourself this, what's best out of more or less? That's right, it's more. And now you can get more from us while helping to sustain the ongoing Athletic Orments nightmare by joining Club Passdips. Our new subscription scheme. Scheme? Con?

Not a con. It costs just £2 plus theatre per month and you'll get loads of bonus content including all the episodes advert free and the satisfaction of knowing that you're helping to power the Athletic Ormins Juggernaut as it rumbles on. Not actual Juggernaut terms of conditions apply. Find out more and sign up now by visiting AthleticOrmins.com slash post nips. Thank you. Is that Roy Hodgson outside? Roy, I think it might be. I'll go and let him in shall I? Alright. Hey, you're right. Come on. Get yourself in. Have a seat. Are you alright?

Oh, you pissed like bastards. What's going on in here? We're doing our podcast right. You never heard of it. Well, I didn't tell you why I was called that time. Doesn't matter. I know all the podcasts and I've never heard of this one. No, I'm not.

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.'re doing our podcast, podcast row. You never heard of it. Well, I didn't tell you what I was called, actually. Doesn't matter. I know all the podcasts, and I'll never heard of this one. No, all right, oh. It's about, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, whew, wh makes no sense to me then. I did it. So your season of palace hasn't got off to a great start, right? No, I couldn't care less about that. Why is that? Well, the one made objective of the summer was to make up the Wilfrey Zahar.

Objective-swashed! We've extreme prejudice! I know, but right you've only got one point and one goal. Yeah! Oh, that stuff was a fribui! I need to retain Zahar our services for my war and needs. Sorry, it's all a fribri. It's all a fribri.

Yeah, so you warhammer needs. Warhammer needs. It's worthless to be on a football field. That's the call of the field. Yeah, I think so, right. So you knock back a hundred million for Wilphys the heart, so you could play a war hammer with him. It's a loose. I came up with.

I'm sorry, Roya. A loose, loose, loose. Oh, yeah. Yeah, the Darth Barster just uses wood elves or lizard men in every single situation. No imagination or tactical variation whatsoever. No, it turns out a ten. I just decimate whatever he turns up with.

That's the kind of man I need in my school, that fell asleep. Not like even if you end up getting relegated. Well, that's not my club. I couldn't really give two hoots. Hey, what about Roy Hammer? Is that still going? No, no, it's not.

The wall number people came around and watched me while they may reset fire to all of the legal stuff, you know? No, it is a shame, innit. Oh, no. Oh no you'll pay eventually that's all I'm saying. Well anyway I've got a guy now because it's free for two one paints up the wall and shop and I'm low on nirgling green and pink aura. Where's the tool? It's just just that where you come in right.

Are you sure? It's just like a loose. No that's not a loose. That's there where you came in. Oh yeah no I'm working on sitting there. Oh, put boy. There you go. There you go.

Oh, I'm out. Tee. You're quite chippy today, right? Yeah, well, football's back in it. Yeah, that's where he's best. And he just wants to, and he's got just a play of warm. Hammer in the wall, a bit of a warm. It's that, or 100 million quid in the kit,

either because the policy tick, you want to money takes your choice or whatever you say. Crime Files The Northumberland hamlet of Graftenbridge lay in the bottom of the Harthort Valley, with its 12th century church and characterful houses, it presents as a quintessential northern village, peaceful, friendly and picturesque. But all that was to change on the 4th of March 2018. You could be more bang on with them, couldn't you? I couldn't find the button, sorry. The High Street pub, the crosskeys, was the social hub of the town where people met

to gossip and socialize and enjoy its three crown tourist board dining experience. On this particular evening, the crosskeys darts team was playing a match against a team from the village of Curfield, a village full of the super rich and local celebrities. Their team included the Premiership Footballer, John Joe Schalvey and the renowned fisherman and actor, Robson Green. The home team included local nonsense potter Neil Holmes And Jed Baker, owner of Baker's failing shoe shop. I always hit it when we play a Kelfield, you know, saw full of themselves with a fancy jacket and expensive darts. I tell you what, Neil, I hope we can beat them for once.

Yes, the right bunch of strutting peacocks coming in here like they own the place laughing and talking. Who do they think they are? The Harlem thing, glow trotters. Oh, watch out, he then come. Rob's and green. Rob's and green entered the room. Oh, are you ass?

Oh, you're diddling. Ready to get beat again. I'm only joking. Just pulling your legs like I was your nonsense spotty good and mad. Absolutely fine, thank you. Now shall we toss for who goes first for nearest the bowl? John Joe, shall we spoke.

Yes, we must, and I insist that we use this gold to bloom, that my great-great-grandfather used to button up his cape. I call heads. JJ Shelby tossed the coin, caught it and placed it on his wrist. It had indeed landed on heads. I win and declare that the Kalfield Arms shall throw first. Just admit it, show me the other side of that coin. Nobody may gaze upon my ja-bloon.

It's job done except your defeat. Look, just show me the coin. Just show me the fucking coin. It's probably heads on both sides. I insist you show me the ja-bloon or we toss again using a good old honest UK coin. So you want to make an issue of this? You doubt my integrity, do you Mr. Nonsense Potter? Yes, that's a yes on both counts! At this point, JJ Shelby leapt onto the pool table and started, started flapping his arms up and down. There's only one count in here and you're looking at him, fancy making a move, buttery nonsense. Nancy making a move, pottery nonsense.

Robson Green intercepted. Oh, yeah, that's just, you know, calm down here. Get down from there, J. J. And let's toss again so we don't have no ill feeling, like. The toss was repeated, and this time the cross-keys called it correctly. Nonsense, potter Neil Hunt took his sports back to the Jens toilet to change into his match shirt. As he stood looking in the mirror, JJ Shelby appeared out of nowhere. So, no sorry. Any time you like? So, Nonsense Potter, it's just you and little old me. Let me ask you, are you a virgin?

How dare you ask such a past girl, quite a fucking dare you! What business is it of yours anyway? At this point, Shelby lunged at Neil, grabbed him by the neck and lifted him clean off the floor as if he was just a child. I ask you again, are you a virgin little nonsense pottery man? What are you doing you such a lot of shit? Put me down, you fucking down! You won't get away with this, Jesus! I'll hardly breathe, are you insane?

Are you literally fucking insane? Shelby tightened his grip. Answer the question, my precious little potter. you literally fucking insane! Shelby tightened his grip. Answer the question, my precious little potter. All right, I'll fucking ride, yes, I'm a virgin. But I've watched my brother do it. And you might just well know, right now, that he owns a sword shop, and he won't be happy about this.

Shelby released his grip and nail fell into a heap on the floor. The sword holds no fear for me, matey boy. Be a different matter if he was a fence post, wholesaler. Hold on, just fucking hold on! Are you some sort of fucking night creeper? Some variety of vampire or something equally fucking daft? I'm actually a hybrid. My father was a Mr. On and my mother and an adult wolf that had gifted blood to a vampire

around the back of a college company in Budapest. Fucking typical! So fucking typical of me that I pick a body with a fucking hybrid blood snatcher. Honestly, why fucking me? I go to church most weeks and I've displayed charity leaves that's in my nonsense fucking pottery! Oh stop whimpering you fart of a man and prepare to deliver up to me your virgin potter's blood. Oh shit sorry. Neil knew he was about to meet a fate worse than death.

Then his eyes caught sight of his dart shirt poking out at the top of his sports bag. It was a long shot, but it just might work. A shelvee made his lunge towards him. Neil pulled the shirt out of his bag and thrust the large embroidered cross-keyed image towards the oncoming shelvee. Shelvee was stopped in his tracks immediately. No, no, not that fucking shape. Ha ha ha ha ha. It hurts my mind like a thousand bees stinging my thought chambers.

Put it away, I can't fucking bear this. I beg of you. How fucking are, fucking yes. Get out of here, you midnight fucking useless. I'm Neil fucking hot, and I'm fucking loving my life right now. I don't think the local darts committee won't hear about this fucking bullshit. Shelby ran out of the toilet and the pub and was not seen again that night. The Kelfi d'Arms were forced to forfeit the match. Later that evening, Jed spoke to Neil. So what exactly happened in the toilet's

like? Your local so-called nonsense potter kicked a vampire's ass so hard his screams could be heard on the fucking moon! Hey what do you call a vampire that can lift up cars? I don't know. Jacular! And the two friends laughed as if everything will drop a fear in the pub was in fact the punchline to an incredible joke That's enough. Oh, I was so on superb true. Neil hunt triumphed. I'm quite I'm loving my life right now. Lovely stuff. We've had an unusual incident

Twisted in us. It's pictorial so I'll show you written. Okay. We might tweet it out. It comes from Lee Gutscher and he says unusual incident this morning. Made myself a little gratitude to you when an alien fella appeared in my mug kicking a football and I'll show you it now Robert, there it is. Oh it is. You regard that as an unusual incident? Um, because I don't think you could, you could replicate

that. I think it is in it naturally, could you? Talking about unusual incidents. Yeah, let's always talk about them. Um, unusual incident or unident. Is that what we're calling them now? We could do. We could trade now. I've got three unident, right? Right. I want to see if you can spot which one actually happened. All right. It's like a little quiz. I like it. So I was at pets at home, buying some chicken yoghuts from me cat. Yeah. Help it because you have to take some pills for you like, you've done pills. There were only, um, 199. So I have to take some pills for, he used on pills. There were only 199, so I had to take some pills because he was on pills. So I was counting up, we changed,

and the power went me hand up until, yeah. When next to me was one of the, you know those little yappy handbag dogs, the woman next to it, next to me, I'd run them, and it reached over, right, with its paw, and spilt all the chain out of my undone. The little bastard, yeah. Yeah.

Next one. So I was in the airdressers, I've been me haircut by this young barber, and at the end he did that thing with the, you know, the little stick with meth on with a burn the hair out of your ear. What? Do you not get that up now? No. The Turkish barbs, they're the light, a little thing.

Oh, I've never visited a Turkish Barbos. I cut me on here, you can probably tell. I've got a machine. Agricultural. It's got a reading on it. Oh, it's got a reading. You laugh and earn it. That makes it mean that it gives me the feeling that you understand science. Yeah. To burn your ear, hey, hey, right. Well, just as he lit is little there's a little flame on the end of it. A fly landed on the mirror. Yeah. And he burnt it. Bang. That was one swoop of his little fiery thing. Wow. Deliberately. Next one. I like big pot of yogurt, yeah. You know, the bigger pot. Yeah. Right. So I've signified with your hands there. I want's a bit of foot high.

No, it's about, yeah, about six inches or something like that. So I went to the fridge, grabbed it, sat on the sofa, watching a show called, I am a murderer. I got about a third of the way through it before I realized it was actually a large pot of marks and spence as custard. But until that point, I had accepted it as yoga. You just took it in. So which of those three is a genuine unit end? The barber. Unlucky. Unlucky, Andy. Which one was the dog? The dog one, it was a little shit.

So it was Etouawa, was it? I don little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit little shit and he's generally clear wood. I heard him. Well, Trevor Longton, why new game show? Reasonable for tea site? Especially Thailand for you, Mr. Bob MoMA, as it focuses on tea site, the land where you were born and raised. Now, the game goes like this. I'm gonna give you some headlines from the local tea site press,

and I want you to tell me whether these incidents are reasonable for tea site. Okay. But whatever they are, they're really extraordinary. You could say unusual. You're in it, aren't you? Yeah, you need things, baby. No, my usual psychic, Jou Swosh is away. And I'm being helped out to die by the number one daytime TV celebrity from the People's Republic of Crack when he's starring.

Igor Shenka. Say hello, Igor. Good morning, brother. Good hello, Igor. We're in London, we're in London, we're in the fun. Facts, Igor. Right, Robert, here we go. Schoolboy, carrying ninja harpoon weapon, arrested at family friendly carnival. I think I read that once, huh? Is that reasonable for tea cider? Is that unreasonable? That's reasonable. We like a harpoon.

You think that's reasonable? Igor, what do you think? Mine's reasonable, that's reasonable. One, a harpoon. You think that's reasonable? Ego, what do you think? What does it mean that it's reasonable? I don't think we can disagree with the regal there can we? Second one, cocky bike rider gave police the finger and was then arrested for a drink driving. Is there reasonable for tea time, mummy? Who is that unreasonable? I think that's reasonable for any local. That's reasonable for anywhere. annoying, mummy? Who is that un-raisable? I think that's the reason before any low case.

Raise the wuffle anywhere, you think so? Or is he go think? When is my husband and a time when all goes boom boom, one damn one. Woah, no, no, no, no. Bit of a difference in opinion now, I think. Final one, this is the deciding one. Berglner arrested from smoke filled car after chase. Tall police, fuck off. We're asked for sample. Is that what is the wuffle, tall police, fuck off,

we're asked for sample. Is that what he's doing with his hand, Obi? Pewa T-side. That's hot, out of T-side. Well, we're gonna ask Ego, what was he think? Man, I'm talking to the toilet, but I was thinking, you know, these are about letting them out.

Well, there we are. So, I think we can call it a draw. That's a draw, isn't it? Thanks for coming to Logan, Obi. Thanks for Ego. It's been, draw in it. Thanks for coming along, Robbie. Thanks for ego. It's been... ...wishnobber for two years. Andrew, John Nenson sent me a song.

Oh, yeah, yeah. So, um... ...he sent us it on a MP3. Yeah. That's all right. That's a good file for a song, yeah. Okay, so... I'll listen to you.

I'll sing that for you. Here we go Hard in the middle of me long! Jordan, it's Carol Fuckin' Beatsley. I've never considered the 12-leg diet. 12 eggs of any variety per day, preferably cooked for you by a Fuckin' Crown. And get some Fuckin' Police in the sectors down your neck. It's well-fuckin' groovy. Jordan, I'll eat an all-away here. What you'll need to do is drink some cider

and scoop the cider flies off the top roll them in football getting down your neck with a lump or cheddar but I'm a fuck and not job I nailed a plank of wood on the damn end of I'm a boost bar, I'm a sports bar I want slaughtered a meal on Alan Sheeran's field. You're going to need to start mumbling, man. Never ever commit to anything other than being proven your mumbling technique.

One thing that helped me is when I'm brah like... You might like the try not. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'm a scousard, I've got a slice of ham where there should be a hand, I'm a Spoongon, I'm a Bretton, I'm trying to grow a cream on in the middle of me Lord. Oh fuck off! Go on, fuck off! So that was it, I'm name. Haha, turn a gruel, a cream horn in the middle of his lawn. Well, I guess that's enough in it. Magnificent. Do you think that's enough? That's enough for this one I reckon, yeah. Okay, well thanks for having us folks.

Thanks for your next time. I'm a tada. You