Athletico Mince - Ep.12 - Bob's Crime Club

Episode Date: May 24, 2016

Knacking, a horse-related low, Robbie Savage’s home interiors and the horrors of blind servant abuse. Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh Oh there we are there it goes I haven't said anything yet. I've got it. I do I do the side Yeah, the verbal yoga and then I say, alright Bob, so right, alright so we would go back again if you want, it sounded like you have a very difficult movement. No, I did that before I came on, but I thought it was a side, so I was worried that it wasn't actually the side. You know fine, well that I do that before I do that. Off you go, do your side, I won't interrupt.

Ffff. All right, Bob. All right, I'm good. What have you got in your mouth? Packed. Chris, plain. Ready salted crisps. Yum yum.

You like to get your hand in the pack, wouldn't you? How exotic. I noticed you didn't call me honky. No, I didn't think that took really. I got one. Do you want us to go and do that again then? No, I would just want, if you were going to go on me honky, I was going to pull you up on it. Well it was honky-tonk.

Well honky-tonk, you don't think I'm a cuntion western bad, are you? I would say not. You know, obviously I'm not, so I presume you're calling me a honky. There's an element of sadness about you so. But what's sad, tell me where does a honky is? What is it black, western and sadness? It's going to hand in hand, don't it? You just want to be a black bloat in a cryo's limousine or something.

Don't you call it white people like me honky's? Yeah, all right then. Do you know where honky comes from? Go on then. It comes from white people honking their own at black prostitutes. Does it? Yeah, that's take away value For the listeners wow. We're in straight away with a fact attack. Yeah Bob bought them a fact attack Anyway, how have you been Bob? I've been fine enough of that. Let's move on Today on the podcast we've got usual stuff memories on me.

Excuse me, excuse me. Excuse me interrupts in again, but you call me a honky, right? And I'm trying to think, I was trying to think what I would call you. And as I look at you now, I can say like a very cheap grey shoe that comes to mind. A pasty, maybe like a living pebble. But I can't put some them together in a word, I suppose the word is Andi, you know, if you didn't break, don't fix it. I suppose, I suppose. Anyway, so hello Andi, thank you for the sigh. Okay, hon, let's move on. Shall we start by establishing your credentials like we usually do with your memory man thing?

Yeah, I want people to realize the expertise I bring to the table. I remember all football statistics since 1876. Test me if you dare. And it's my job to try and catch you out. And one of these deals I'm good at. Come on, let's try. Right, memory man, brace yourself. Do you remember all them European nights and field? I've a little puff on your crack pipe there why don't you think about it? Yes, I do. There it is! There you have it. The memory man's striking in.

What you think you're going to catch me out with the legendary nights at Anfield, European competitions, the cops literally sucking the ball into the net. I didn't think you remember all of them. I thought you were the might of slip your mind. Yeah, it took me, as you probably heard, I hesitated. There was a couple that were missing, but I put them into place and responded. Yes, I remember them. Good.

There you go, yeah, P. Well, your credentials are now well established. OK. So the any readers or listeners or whatever, or viewers, whatever we've got that unsure about why you're here. There's the reason. Now, the Euro is coming up, Andy, and there's increasing excitement, certainly in my parish, I've got to be honest with you.

I've got a 55-inch curved Samsung, actually, for what that's worth. 4K television to watch it on. What would you be watching it on? Portable, some of that. A little bit little and portable, yeah. No, but seriously, they'll watch you set up. Watch you rig. Do you need to do, do we need to do this?

Yeah, well, I'd like to, no, I'd like to discuss what is the perfect, this feels like, like another example of you trying to class you and me. No, I'm not just what, I'm thinking, for example, all right, I'll go first then. I'm thinking of getting a gaming chair You know like the youth use for the gaming. I'm saying that yeah, yeah, I'm thinking of getting one of them Probably barely the dinosaur. Yes, you're quite right. I'm thinking of getting one of them

Putting it right in front of the tally so there's no humans in my vision whatsoever Yeah, drinking me like I've being pint pot on the floor, and maybe getting a 65 inch screen, I'm just wondered what you think about that, or have you got different arrangements? Oh, you've already got a 55, what you think in the go, no, a 65 just for the euros.

Well, it's a smart telly I've got, right? You know what they are? I thought you'd say that. It's a smart intelligent telly, and I'm thinkin' to put an L upstairs, so that me and the wife can watch our crime upstairs. You know, I really... What's the crime that you're going to do? No, watch the crime. And why are you filming them?

We watch crime TV, right? Investigation and discovery, crime and investigation channels. And my club's called Bob's Crime Club, yeah. But if I put the curved telly up up there it can be Bob's curved crime club And I think that'll give it like a reboot, you know what I mean? It's just you and the wife, is it? Yeah, we watched the crime, what of it? I'll show you where of the name of the club.

Yeah, I said would you like to come to Crime Club tonight? She obediently obviously says yes, yes, please. And we watched the crime, for example example last night 999 killer on the line Did you walk up the stairs hand in hand together? Not necessarily not to be honest with you and you know because the wife tends to put the cats in their special dover Last thing at night whilst I got stairs do me admit me piss and Then climb in the bed already for it to say are you coming to crime club tonight. Well I think we've learned quite the love about that already haven't we.

So can we get back to my question are you not going to respond to it or do you have any particular arrangement or particular dreams about reviewing it. Well I can't afford a new television. Okay. I can barely afford a law for bread-the-bred at the minute. All right. Times are hard as I explained last week. Yeah. I've got a 40-inch sharp that I've had for about four years now. Plasma or LED?

It's a wide screen. Is it plasma or LED, Andy? How can you tell? When you touch the screen, is it wobbly? I've never touched the screen. I see, you've never cleaned it then. No, have you got a cleaner? No, I don't have a cleaner either.

Well, I can sense that this is going nowhere with you, and I'll drop that subject. I will recommend to the viewers at home that they consider very low seating arrangements with no humans in your vision and maybe it's 55 plus screen. What if you've got your screen wall mounted your your down law your screens wall mounted fairly high. Yeah. You know you're going to end up with a bad neck by the end of year or 26 day, I mean if you are foolish enough to wall mount a television right then obviously instead of a game in chair you're going to have to sit in a television, right, then obviously instead of a gaming chair

You can have to sit in a freaking step ladder aren't you? Why is it foolish to wall mount a television? Because the viewing angles are all to put to go up hot, but you can angle it forward, right? Yeah, and and Instantly restricting you field of vision. But this is so dull. Let's get on something else. You weren't interested in it We already know you've got a cinema room, so I mean. I haven't got a cinema room. Clearly taught out your ass here. Chicken Dippers.

Yeah. You mentioned chicken Dippers, that's the way you can. I do it in the air fryer, yeah. You do in the air fryer, and we'll come back to that later. I assure you. But I just wanted to say thank you, Andy, because when I first heard of chicken Dippers, when you mentioned them, I exclaimed, what the fuck are chicken dippers?

You did? And I've decided to try and ram that home as many you catch for us, so thank you for that. How are we going to bring that in? And then how are you going to show how that in the proceedings? How are we going to do it? Are you just going to come out with it? Yeah. You'll see during the course of this.

Right. Do you know what I mean? Good, I'm doing. Yeah, if you're absolutely skint, Andy, right? Yeah, I was thinking about that footballer Superheroes, you know, can transform, you know, a Superhero Transforming Footballer. And I was thinking, like, if Lee Catermore was like, let's call him Captain Sunland, that's kind of a, that's playing a bit of lip service to Captain America for a smaller region.

And like what he could do with you, you could call on him, he could knock your legs up for you, right? And you could go down and get on the disability. I could do, he could just do one of them agricultural tackles on us in Midgarden, couldn't I? Yeah, you just call that like Captain, I don't know, put, with a light from your, have you got a window at the top in your roof? And got a window in the roof, your bungalow, for example? No comment, Bob.

No comment, all right. You could shine up, you could shine up onto the sky somewhere like gyro or something. Right. And Captain Sunland had come, Lake Atomall, Nackia legs. Right through us. Yeah. And you go down the disability. How would I get down the disability Bob? I can't afford the bus fare. You said well I would imagine these days for the likes of you, you'd probably prefer a taxi one. I don't think they do. Yeah, I reckon the wood. So that I was just, you know, I mean, that was just a little idea I had. It's very good. Thank you very much, you did.

You got more ideas. Well, I was trying to think of the powers that Lee Katmour would have. And I wonder, maybe he would step in if the environmental health were about to shut down your pop-up doll, Inaeth yw'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i' just a sidekick that would just get a set of any bad situation by knacking. Yeah, whoever's causing it. Yeah, but like I'm going to call it, you know you hear a lot on Twitter and that about first world problems. Yes. I'm going to say that Captain Sunland deals, he deals with lower class problems.

You know, like I need to get, Captain Sunlandland I need to get on the disability and Where does lay Katamol originally from Bob Captain Captain Katamol They're gonna should wear they're gonna should now. They're gonna. Will born middle spirit middle spirit They're gonna. They're gonna shut down. No, but you're not. Oh, yes. You're calling for captain Katamol Captain Katamol, they're gonna shut down, not with your na, oh yes, you're calling for Captain Catamul. Captain Catamul, they're gonna shut down me, Dolby, your restaurant. Yeah, whatever. I mean, what the fuck are chicken dupes anyway?

LAUGHTER You'll see, what are these deers? Anyway, H is going to always out in the corridor or bumped into in the corridor. Who's that? Who's that? William Hill. What are the odds of that happening there? What, the odds of being bumped into William Hill probably? I was thinking. It was a meteor candy. Is this? It was a meteor candy. Oh, the bookmaker, right?

I thought he was like maybe a parish counsellor or something. No, no. Do you have an older man up in Sunderland? We're fiddles with kids and stuff. Pfft. No. Not anymore. You don't employ one. You off one.

I'm down here where I live. Yeah. I'm trying to crawl in with him, is it? An older man on every corner. I want him, your kids don't talk are they older than? Do you know it was my birthday yesterday did you know? Didn't know that and that. He must be really old now. I was like 63, 64?

No, I'm 57. But I got a card from the Uncle Ben. Why you opened it loads of rice? Fell out of it Andy. Well, did you put rice in your card for me? Is that like a private little injured you've got in the family? In the family, yeah. He always loved his rice, did me uncle Ben.

See. Yeah, he's pop a bit in a drain, he was drinking water. He was quite drinking. And if he's your uncle and you're like 63. Yeah, yeah. No, he's well into his 80s, now me uncle Ben. Is he? Yeah.

What does he look like? What does he look like? He sees a lot. I don't know, he's got much more than Mediterranean hue. Oh, yeah. Do you know what I mean? Oh, he worked on the cruise ships. Did he? Yeah, he used to do an act where he had a rabbit that he swung around his head and then he played a trombone and lots of little snakes came out. But that's me, I'll tell you about me on Corbett. That sounds like he's done really well for himself in life. Well, yeah, it doesn't send you a present just a card.

Not bad. He's done very well. Sounds like a twat of me. Let's play proper football. Yes, let's. We've enhanced it this way. I've got best of three. Got best of three. We've got a mystery judge.

Oh, oh, a judicate on this. Do you want to go first or second, Andy? I'll go first. Okay, name your proper footballer. Steven Nearsmith. Okay, I will combat that with James Collins. Steven Nearsmith or James Collins? James Collins takes it, Andy.

I will hit you with Alan Hutton. Alan Hutton and I will come back at that with Moosa Dembele. Alan Hutton or Moosa Dembele. Alan Hutton. What? Yeah, so we don't even need the third but it is a good one. I bet you can't take it gone Shemma's Coleman Shemma's Coleman all right. We'll take this David Weeter He's not still playing Weeter take wait. There's not still playing He's still playing he was playing against Boros second last match of the season seriously. Yeah Yeah, he's got a gardener's chin, you know, he could dig all with it. Jesus, he must be

about 41 by now. Waiter? Yeah. Why is he was, he was, he was, he was, he was as bad as he, he was really bad when he was really young. He was born old. He was born old, was he? So next topic, I will ask you to introduce Andy. Well I think we should discuss footballers that you've met Bob because that's always a winning formula. Okay well can I ask for a special concession from you this week please Andy. It depends what it is. Alright I'll run it past you. I would like to talk about a football chairman, that I have met.

Ffff. Well, we'll give her a try. We'll see how it goes. Okay, this week I spent the day with Mr. Theo Pafi-Petitis. Pafitis? That's it, yeah. From Dragon's Den. From Dragon's Den.

And it was also a chairman of, chairman of Millwall Fc for 8 years and I was talking to him and he obviously runs a string of electronic stalls and I just thought you might be interested to know that his biggest seller at the moment is the Nutri Bullet. Do you know the Nutri Bullet? Yeah. Are you got one? I've got a pine glass. Yeah.

What I do is I squash all the fruit into the pine glass with me fist. Yeah. I put a bayonet over the top and give it a good shake. Good old shake. That's pretty much the same as the newtry bullet I think. And when you shake, do your little knockers go up and down. Maybe they don't look a bit less and less so because of the fruit diet that I'm on. Of course. You're ready to see. That's how I gauge how well it's working, how much me tits general. Well I'm making the smoothie. Yeah and your smoothies are generally what? Four parts, Lager, crisps. No, this fridge, there's half a banana, there's a couple of strawberries,

a bar of galaxy, some angel delight for flavour. Well, it's still wonders for the skin. Well, that flap of skin, anywhere, under your neck, any? I mean, what? Or has that just got tighter, maybe? I don't know, as it fills up. So anyways, neutralet is best seller,

but I thought of you immediately because I said, well, but recommend me a product. They are, you know, like as a retailer, who has to deal with all the call backs and all the problems and that. And he said, I would look no further, here you this, than the dry fryer. Ah. Absolutely, and love with it, sir.

Oh, the air fryer is the air fryer, yeah. And this was just this week, was it? That's just the press. Absolutely, just by chance. And he's such an advocate like you, I said yes, but do you actually use it? And he's just like you, he said four or five times a week. Yeah.

Says delicious chips. Yeah, delicious chips, sausages, chicken portions, mini pizzas, chicken nuggets. What the hell is he fucking, what mini pizzas? Yeah. Deep fried, not deep fried, man. Fried were hot air. It's like an oven, but better.

So they're going flat on top of each other these pizzas. No, just one of them little sort of seven inch size pizzas you can get from oldie for like 49 pence. Yeah, it's cheese and tomato. One of them, five minutes in the air fryer. Bosch. This 49 P, oldie pizza. Tell me about the cheese on it.

Is it like an organic artisan cheese? It's stringy cheese. Right here. But delicious, I suppose. Spot on. Spot on. It's the mark every time. So, and here's my revelation,

which I just thought was quite interesting. I said, what was the worst, worst low point when you were a chairman of Millwall? High point, of course, was the cup final. Mae'n gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaith and face the TV cameras and try and explain why the Millwall fans had set two police horses on fire. That's not funny. That's terrible isn't it? He was saying that there was nothing that he could say but he had to go and be the face of Millwall. And did he have an excuse? There's no excuse for that. I mean I know a Newcastle of Punchwall. And did he have an excuse? I mean there's no excuse for that is

the round. I mean I know a new castle a punch horse is put. They punched them and one of the west I think was west Ham fans through the wake during that mini riot there. One of them punched the horses ass. He punched the horses ass. That was quite good but setting fire don't want to defame all game altogether, isn't it? Our Polish horse is Dorn Twa. That's what they say up there in the Gallagher. Read in the piaat. That's what they say on the terraces of the five foods Thunderdorm as it's now called. It's time for the wife's questions and issues. So here they go, provided by the wife.

You keep Andy. You keep saying Bob is a millionaire. Have you any proof of this because if he is, I'm not seeing any of it. Well, there is countless amounts of proof on the internet. Lots of people have tweeted, may this thing from Google or whatever it says you have a net worth of five million dollars. You believe that then? It's on the internet, of course I believe it. Right, so that's your proof, you tell me why go and have a look at the internet. Go and put the internet, put in Bob Mortimer five million dollars and it will

come up and you can print that out, take it to a list at that and it acts as a legal document. Actually, so you're dying, do you think many wives look up the net worth of their husbands on the internet? They're probably all in there, I would imagine. Do you reckon your wife's been on it, on it? I don't know. Second question, where were you in Little This Week and if so, did it not cross your mind to buy Bob a birthday present, EG some Brought Work slices or some 10 cockles? No, I haven't been in Little This Week, I've been up the Aldi for me 49 Prince Peaches

as I mentioned earlier, I didn't know it was your birthday, you never mentioned it. I don't go on your Wikipedia page or your fan club home page and keep the breast of your movements or anything like that. If I had done, would I have bought you something? Chances are probably wooden, I've bought that with that friendly, are we? Alright, well thank you for the answers. For the the wife not for me. That's what I'll be honest Turning finally to the bungalow sorry or fungal or that you love you Andy would you consider it to be a shittole? Yeah, probably would yeah your fungal or is a shit old deep Deep down, yeah. Yeah. Okay, well that's fine. I've lived in shitels in the past as well. I've never saw it like that before. I managed to get it. It is. It's a fucking disgrace. Just to cheer you up a bit Andy. Isn't this a funny idea? Football, pundits and what sort of interior design they would have.

I think, for example, Dalli Murphy, you'd be a bit like you're gran, you know, G-plan net curtains for my catarble, that kind of thing. I think Robbie Savage, sort of hair salon at home vibe, know leather with mirrors that kind of thing I disagree with that what you reckon I think savage is everything is white you know John Lenin's room in the imagined video yeah just him in the piano and the wife it's like that except savage just wears the white but not suit he wears like a royal neck and that's white and everything's what's basically all you can see is what looks like is dismembered head for this purely white room I think you're under some of the Andy but instead of the white piano what would

you have a great big mound of Ambrose your ice or something? I think probably. Something like that. That's a good call. For Learney I was instantly thought of like brick-affect wall paper and lots of animal pelts. Probably, Wallspear, the black-out of thought, Fillierny, to reflect his mood. He's not a pundit either, but you know, I'm allowed to dive deviate here from what you'd start off here. I apologize, he isn't the alright, well it was an abundant lorinson. Where about loro? Lots of chints.

But ironic. Ironic chints. Yeah. I think you might have, do you know what? I reckon he's, you know, he's one of these people who look at mumbles and grumbles and goes into his attic and, you know, makes little cages out of wire to put dead birds in. And I think he might have like,

He's got a truff birds. If any come in his attic, he might get the odd harness. But, I imagine like his walls, he's like, there's a lot of wooden structures. And he's glazed them, and he's put fishing them, but just dead fish. Yeah. And he just sits there, wondering if one day like him they'll rise up like a phoenix in the arm.

Just lying on the floor of the tank, where did you think it was? It's got some kind of, like, jet propulsion system where they get their... I think, I think, lauded. I think it's what's called a dry aquarium or in human words, a coffin. Mm-hmm. Do you know what I mean? It aquarium or in our human words a coffin. Do you know what I mean?

It's nice to use human words. Yeah. What do you want to go on to under? I've got plenty to talk about. Well, I've got some questions for you as well. All right, go on then. Again, from blood relatives of mine, so that's important. That's important.

And then your questions just. Okay. Someone who's possibly pretending to be in love with you for your money. Bob, there's a millionaire in your mansion in the garden of England with your orchard and all that. Do you allow your servants to knock off at night time or do you only employ blind ones so that they're in a permanent state of darkness and could tempt your whims at any time, day or night?

Well, not a millionaire and I don't have any servants apart from my gardener. Next question. But do you, you know, do you employ blind ones? No, I don't have any servants. So that they'll work around the clock? No, right, a nice dear light. No. Okay. Second question. Bob, as a millionaire with your mansion, your orchard and your go-kart track Do you allow your blind servants to listen to talking books on their de-off or do you lock them in a room with a TV that's only got the shopping channel? I don't have any servants Andy, so I've no need for a locked room for them or any such entertainment. So what do you have on the TV and there was not the shot on the channel?

What on my TV? I don't have any servants. I don't have any servants. Am I allowed a question? No, I wasn't allowed when you asked me then were you? Okay, you don't ask, you don't ask, you don't get, have you seen that advert for the telephone? Well Lee Francis, I'll keep lemon as you might know him? Who's Lee Francis? If you don't ask you don't get it

Who's Lee for I know a Keith lemon is who's there the same person Now confused by that anyway, but with your orchard your go-kart track and your Wi-Fi enabled hammock Do you make your blind servants sign a contract written in Greek that enables you to harvest their fingerprints and sell those fingerprints to the heads of South American drug cartels on what is commonly known as the dark internet? No, I don't have any servants. I don't know what the dark internet is. I have no access to it.

I have no knowledge of it. Thank you Andy. How do you extract the fingerprints? Mae'n gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweith Have I answered your question? And the phrase of the phrase, I'll let him on the dark internet. No, I don't know what the dark internet is. I think we've all learned quite a lot about you. Steve McLaren, Andy. Steve McLaren. What's he been up to? What do you think he's been up to? Well, Tony, a tiny detail, but I think he had a Papa John's last night delivered,

but it came whilst he was feeding his snake and the big lass had it all. But that's just a little detail. But he had this week quite a big occasion for him. He met up with the big lass at the service station where they had their very first date. He had his light blue shirt on, shorts leave, light blue shirt, you know from BHS, nice little wool, brown wool tie. Then halfway through the cauliflower cheese, he got down on one knee and he said to the

big glass, will you come to the rope museum in Thwet, one day with me big glass? And on our, this happened and she said, fuck off, Steve. Your arms look like hot dogs made of milk. I wouldn't be seeing deadly of them in a classy museum. And he said, but love, I could wear a long sleeve shirt. And she said, and I thought it was quite touching. And she said, no, don't do that, Steve, because it just wouldn't be you.

Okay. It's quite elaborate, isn't it? It is a bit elaborate. Yeah, have you, what about you? I reckon he sat in the car because the big lass is in the Zumba class and he thought he would be allowed to sit in the wash, but he's not. It's always just sat in the car. He's just sat in the car, just really fucked off.

Because he knows it's too far from the drive-along and then come back at the end of the hour. He wouldn't be worth it. So he sat in the car, it's chewing. It's chewing, worrying about its snake, it's big yellow snake. Because you'd never left it for more than that, I would be fine. What's a quick snack for Steve McLean? Is it beans on toast or pop pie or a bullet weight-a-bit?

A putted weight-a-bit. But no, it isn't. There's only you who eats putted weight-a-bit. I think you'll find actually on the social media there's actually quite a small army of us now eating buttered waterbix. I'm getting about 12 to 15 tweets every day. People who are seeing that they have been trying it out. Yeah, I mean, I just feel convinced that he's ready.

He's been on task one. Yum yum yum yum yum. He says, yum yum yum. I am not thin. You know, he's right he's there beans on sauce man yum yum yum yum yum he says yum yum yum I am not thin you know he's not bothered um burrow kit did you say the new burrow kit I thought it was hilarious yeah they're done that on purpose what done what on purpose the the white the white band that's like slipped down that looks like a come a band on a yeah it's a bit tough and a ward ceremony it on a Trink and Toff and a Wardseramani. It's a bit straight. It is going to look like, sadly, it is going to look like that

their shots are falling down in it. It's going to probably look like the graph of their leak position as the circle was on. Which you can take either way under, you can read it left to right in which case we're going down. There's only one way you go on. That's down. You're starting off with a couple of wins, nice bit of momentum from this season. Yeah. And then I'll start to go tits up.

Yeah, we'll finish it out in the new one day. And the players will be able to just draw the league positions on the white bit each week. Yeah. As it goes down and down and down and down. You see, if any of the fans buy the thing, I don't envisage that happened. It sold out actually, Andy. They've had to restart all of them. I've all 25. Already sold 7,000 for stay. That's all we got in the old them and bought one,

is he? Yeah, you got a shorty. Yeah, it's just sort of in this display. So it's a good, I tell you what, when I saw it, it's a good job You know those like Law Center Agravity fat ass players, you know like Wiltshire. Yeah, and Kelly Samson Andy Raid was the best for them Yeah, yeah, that's that's our Andy Raid. Yeah, you know it gives them particular skills Don't it with the Law Center Agravity, but it would look terrible with that cummer band resting on it Purchased on the ass. No, it the tutorial, we would look like the little chef, you know, of something like that. No, I don't mind the kit, I think you can't judge these things

till you see them in the flesh. Have you got a new kit, Andy? Yeah, we were, we've worn it already for a, I was three-nil victory against Everton in the Premier League, which retained our Premier League status. And what did the Premier League for another season? What is it, Red and White Stripes? It's Red and White Stripes,

but it's got like a big wall across the top of the shoulders because for another season. What is it, Red and White Stripes? It's Red and White Stripes, but it's got like a ball across the top of the shoulders because we're brilliant. Yeah. Golds, the color of brilliant, isn't it? Red and White Stripes, it's like the seaside colors, isn't it? Yeah. It's the comedy colors, it's like a sticker rock and all that, it's like postcards,

it's like comedy, you know, Stoke, athletic, old, bill, bow, sun, and the eternal. You're trying to say Stoke set, he's a comedy club. Yeah. It looks like candy rock, but nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with that, you know, like, to the level 8. Cheer up, you'll add up there as well. We are near the sea side, so why not?

Do you actually call that the sea where you are? It doesn't come apart where the colour is so far from water that you can't call it sea? No actually we've got one of the European flags on our beach. Yeah, that's what the European one that says don't fucking touch it in the badge bowl. One of the words is this be careful with your dogs. Obviously here we just came off to be careful with your dogs. Anything else Andy? No I don't know. My highlight of the season I feel that I should. The season's ended hasn't it really? Yeah it's ended and my highlight as for me

has got to be when Vardy got in Costa's face. Did you say that? Yeah. I loved that moment. That was a clash of two cultures, you know. Yeah. That was a defining moment for me. You know, the attitude of Leicester and the decline of Chelsea. Was it not just a pair of assholes going head to head? There is, that's the other interpretation that is becoming very popular here. How'll tell you what was your highlight? For me, it was down in the Don Lake arena, the Skrillex Lake, I think it's called. Yeah. Well, the sitting board manager got, was the first manager that ever be sacked by hypnosis? I don't understand.

Do you hear that? The chairman got him in. And he got a hypnotistin as well. Yeah. Chairman got him in and he got a hypnotist in as well. Yeah, sat him down and within a couple of minutes he's hypnotist and convinced the manager that he worked on the real ways. Got up, left, off he went, no compensation package or anything like that, it's future. It's not true though, Adir. It's pretty true. It's a very good idea. It's on Google. Look it up kids. Well I want to go on what Britain's got talent. Do you? Are you going to leave us with a song again Bob because that's becoming something that you've got to tend to do? I'll sing you a song.

The end. It's not just singing the May, singing everyone. I will do it. Are you ready to announce once you want to make? We We're gonna do a live podcast in September, aren't we? You are, I don't know about that. Oh, I've told you about this. Yeah, I'm looking forward to it. I'm gonna get some slides together. Oh, good. I'm not a displayer. Well, will you have a pointy stick?

No, I'll use you as the stick. Will you have a clicker? No, I won't have a clicker. But I'll have dance movements from another era. See, till it's forward to. I'll set me one of my songs to music. Right. And you can play the symbols or something. Alright well if anyone fancies coming to say that atrocity, get more information on our Twitter feed which is at Athletic Ormins. Tickets go on sale Thursday 31st of May.

Okay well I'm going to do a Umi song then as a sort of like as a farewell please do and as a little full stop to proceedings you'll have heard the tune before. I'm just a little mouse whose face got bent when a trap mouth functioned and crushed a quarter of me head I've got one bulb of a sigh and a knackered lip and all the other mice think I'm a fucking prick. That's me song. That was beautiful. Thank you. you