Athletico Mince - Ep.2 - The Reverse Toilet

Episode Date: March 15, 2016

A lavatory revolution, denim, memorabilia, tractors (again) and much more... Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Product availability may vary by region. See out for details. Alright Bob. Yeah, alright Andy, we're all looking very northern today with your canna bea. Well you know, a sports suit from sports director where it is. And yourself? I'm wondering why you've got that set of, what look like, cats whiskers attached on to your face, what's that about?

That's called fun. Here's this. You know, it's making life a lot of fun. But you know, this is already only, and people aren't gonna get to see those whiskers. That's up to them, you know what I mean? The, um, um, this card, I'm gonna go at the heart foundation charity shop.

Do you wanna just get close at the microphone? Is it better than down a bit more? It's got a concealed zip. You didn't think I was wearing a zip, did you? I just thought I was a jumper. Yeah, there you go. Anyway, it's lovely to be back with your NASATICOR Mints. Yeah, here we are again.

This week. Still wish you weren't called that by the way. He's nothing you can do but... You can start your own podcast up if you like. I'll turn of name of your own choosing. Yeah, I'll just thought of it as well. It will be called FC Peter. Good look with that then. All right. I'll look out for that on the podcast scene. Thank you for your support. It is a scene, isn't it? Yeah. Football. Is it football you want to talk about? Well, the bare football, I've got a bit of an agenda here this week. All right. Not like a personal agenda, not like a list of things I want to agree with. And actually a gender for the short.

We've got oil, lubricants, salons as well. I like salons. But of that we've got an auction, some denim and some weird objects. Yeah, I love denim. So that's what we're going to cover today. Okay. Just to go back, before we start, I wanted to ask you, you know, that theme music we've got, oriental theme music.

Yeah. As we said last week, it's a message that we're sending to the people of the far east. We come in peace. We come peace. We mean no harm. Come and join us. Have you had any kind of feedback over the last week as a result of that music?

No, none whatsoever. Nothing positive, nothing negative. Nothing positive, not a negative. That's what we want, really. Exactly. In the world of, you know, like foreign relations. Yeah. International diplomacy.

It's a good sign. Peace and quiet. Peace and quiet, everything's calm. Not overwhelmed, not underwhelmed, just overwhelmed. Yeah, good. Everything is well-med. Continue trading. Yeah. As you were. Go about your business. Yeah. Everything is fine. Everything is fine. What I would say is I did notice yesterday that

Vladimir Putin has pulled Russia out of Syria. Yeah. Now I can't be completely true about this, but I think that's a bit of a ripple effect of what we're doing here, where there were stanzas with the far east. Okay, I don't understand that. It's not direct, because you know what these things, you never look at the direct consequences of something, it's always, it's a knock-on effect. It's a knock-on effect, you know. what's he really thinking? What's he really doing?

He's pulled out a Syria, but I think it's because of the message that we've given out so far. Well, I doubt it. I know. I've got to be honest with you, but one of the next week we'll change the message to the far east and we'll see what Putin does. Well, I did notice in house of cards that I was watching that they used the Chinese as leverage against the Russians. Did they? So maybe they're taking the Chinese on the wares because they're listening to authoritative comments. Just to see what we're doing and where we're going.

Exactly. Our policies go into them. Can I just say at this stage football wise that Paul Skolz is definitely my least favourite of the Ways Lees. Right. Okay. Is that a joke? That's a joke for me and... ...anyone else.

You wish you'd said that you were going to do that? Yeah. All right, Alejandro, we'll be here next time. We're not going to do that again. Okay. Have you done anything controversial this week to try and draw attention to the show? No, not in whatsoever. I'll be honest with you, the show embarrasses me a little bit. I pulled a face at a warmer more real earlier on.

Did you? So hopefully we'll be in the daily start tomorrow. Yes. That's a result of that. Fire away. A lot of people have been asking me personally on Twitter this week. Yeah.

Why are you here, Bob? Why are you wearing a onesie? Why are you here? What is your qualification for, you know, it's a football podcast. It's a football podcast and increasingly football is about the stats, yeah. And when it comes to football, I have a reputation, a correct one. In fact, has been the memory man. Right? Right. Oh, it's funny, is it? Just to me. Yeah, all right. Well, ask any question you want. Right. It's football. Okay. From the past preferably to probably. Right. Well, memories generally

are from the past. So yeah, 1959 F.I. Cup final. Could you tell me who both goalkeepers were in that much? Yes, I could. Fucking hell. Really? Yeah. I mean, it would have worked better if you've said, do you remember? And then I would have said yes. And it would have worked. But there you go, yeah, army stats man. Can do that bit again if you want. Let's, I'll leave that up to you, up to you. No, no, we'll just move on I think Come on then let's kick it in let's go What's been the top story in football this week Bob? This week for me personally with apologies to everyone else has been the Shenanigans at Middlesbrough and the right been shenanigans oven there has been shenanigans no one quite knows what's going on

It's terribly sad for the Borough fans. All I can say is... Do you want to tell us what story is? Because obviously it's outside the Premier League, so not a lot of people know what it is. Ha ha. The... A lot of people.

Well, Caranca walked out of a trend, so... He's the manager here. The manager in middle's brother. Nobody knows why. Was it player, power? Was it someone to do with the food at the club? Well, we just don't know. I've been astrology-based.

Yeah, it could be. It could be, but the thing is, is that this was a teller. I mean, I have had a night out with Caranca in our teller. Oh, I? Had a drink with him in our teller. See all right, is he? Nice fella. Lovely fella.

Funny fella. Powerful fella. Powerful fella. Powerful physically. Oh, oh. Oh. Physically powerful. Karazmat Annie, Annie just lives and breathes football. He was wearing slippers, you know, with little pump pumps that were like football. Like yourself. Yeah. He's copied off Karanko by wearing the slippers to the... Is Little Underpants? Yeah. Superhero Underpants. No, no, there's little... Is Little Underpants had footballs on them? Did they. Yeah, super hero underpants. No, no, there's little underpants had footballs on them.

Did they? Yeah, it's two pillars. It's pillar cases, we're like two goalposts on them. And it said Viva Soca. Did he put some posters up when he came into the room football posters? No, but he's just all football. Football, football, football, football,

as he sat on his bed. Yeah. That's all he's talking about. Dream's only true. And you had a night out with him. Well, we had a lovely chat, you know, and he seems to me terrific, man. He doesn't see, his English doesn't seem to be all that great when I see him being interviewed. So, did you have a translator or? No, I think that's a little bit of a bluff that he does just to just to keep the, you to keep the major off his back because when I was with him, his English was perfect. I just even fry.

It's a good glass in my accent. It's a combination between fried lorry, right in the middle, but he puts on that voice when he's been interviewed to deflect. Just to bring out the in air, racism, people and say I can't believe a word he's been interviewed to sort of deflect a text just to bring out the internet racism people and say I can't believe a word he's saying. He's got the kid. He taught me the correct stance to correctly defend when you're up against a very very tall centre forward. Let's say for example, crouch or in Brahimavic. Right Right. How, why would he, we, He taught me that.

Why would I have such a time and energy telling you that? A man who was probably what, five foot four? Because what made? Yeah. Because he, you know, it just lives and brings football. I said, how did you defend probably against a big guy? So he showed me, he showed me the correct stance. Did he hold you when he did it?

No, he didn't hold me because that's not how it defined. Does it? That's how to caress and cuddle. But anyway, enough of Carranca, except to say that, you know, like, he's a wonderful man. What a lies ahead. We shall say. I don't know, who knows. Okay. Who knows?

Well, that's probably the... The biggest thing for me this week was definitely that, yeah. That's probably the 8% football content that we promise here and I thought it'd go minced so... Okay. We can just talk about whatever we want from it. Well, I would certainly, I know you mentioned football as in denim. Yeah, we did. We've been asking some of our Twitter followers which footballer would look best in denim. Yeah.

Well, I mean, I saw a suggestion that it could be John Josh Shelby. And at first, I thought, no, but then I imagined him with a denim cap, as well as the jacket, the shirt, the jeans and the shoes. Like one of those floppy 1970s pimp caps. Yeah. Yeah, it started on the Osmo, I thought, wow, yeah. Don't head the tour. That could work. Denham shirt opened pretty much down to the west No, do you know what you know what I'd put not the shirt and put a denim tie on as well

And a little denim handbag. But you know, it's the denim tie would have to be a different shade of denim Yeah, it's so it's it would have to be I mean, I think they should all be slightly different shades when you were in a lot of denim Well, you have to be looking out for it like the zip in that cardigan you've got on? Yeah, well, you'd never see this zip. Come on, Flare's zip. Yeah. But the one that intrigued me was, what's your reckon on you?

Do you think Costa? Jeffrey Diego Costa. Jeffrey Costa? Yeah, that's it. Do you think he'd look good in denim? In denim. Very tight. Do you think?

Oh, well, I don't mind always work. I would think it would be flared But I think he'd look pretty dumb good with a neck denim necker chaf flares Cuban heels. Yeah denim shin pads Could that be a thing to think well, you know There'd be the extra protection of beauty nobody likes to damage something of beauty Yeah, and if you saw denim shin packs under a denim sock you ain ain't gonna lash out at it. You ain't gonna kick out at it No, you respect it wouldn't you? You respect the denim Christ sake. I think if we've got any any

Sportswear manufacturers out there you'd like sponsors on the shore. Yeah, that can come on board Yeah, they're come on board and plug a denim shin pad and we could be pioneers Denim grip on your golf clubs. Yeah. Denning flights on your dad. It's not enough denim in sport as the... Obviously, they used to be so much more... Untap potential. It's still a little bit in yachting, but there you go. It's a very specialist interest.

I know that people out of us have always tended to want to put a blonde or a ginger footballer into the denim. Right. You know, they want it to be like, you know, Kenny Burns or they want it to be like, you know, Kenny Burns or they want it to be, who's that ginger who plays for red in? Is he called Quinn or something? I don't know. Shall we call him Quinn? Let's call him Jeff Quinn. Jeff Quinn. They want

to put, oh, who's the one, the, is it, who's the left back who plays for Newcastle? Okay, well, the case, he plays. Jack Colback. Colback. There, and a lot of people want to put the ginger in the denim. I don't see it. How about you? Too much contrast for me. A lot of contrast going on in there. Eddie's very peel skinned as well, Jack.

Yeah. You got our, our son and son's been bitter about him. I've said it got so much. We're not bothered. Not bothered. No. You're very bothered, aren't you? We're not really.

You are. It's like, when he went to Newcastle to say say it was an a key ring that you've had for a few years and starting to get a bit frid. Yeah. You're not bothered. And you think it was time to revert? The more teeth drops off, you know, the... Yeah.

Okay. Well, dead in footballers. There we are. What else do you want to know, Andy? What news have you got for me? Well, do you like commuters? But sorry, I know you got an agenda. But what bothered me the last couple of weeks

for you in is like we all, Twitter's full of it and everyone, you know, they get upset about, and the town's end about Michael Owen. And the town's end? Yeah, you know, there's co-accomentators on the football. Now I think there wasn't co-accomentators before Skye got involved. Do you think that's right?

They've just come to here. They, yeah. So what do you reckon? Do you think there's two more to it? There's three sometimes now. Orn, Hoddle, Savage. Yeah. Or sat round a one microphone.

Yeah. Like kids sat round a campfire. But you think too much? You think it adds anything to the experience? Nothing. I'll let you, I'll walk about this one. One of the channels has got an old referee. It will carefully chirps up.

How would web? How would web? On the BT Sport. BT Sport, is it? And they'll go to How would web? And I think he sits in a caravan, doesn't he? I think he insists on having a caravan wherever they go, yeah. And he says, that was a penalty.

That wasn't a penalty. Yeah. That was a that was a penalty, that wasn't a penalty. Yeah. That was a free kick. Like that's clear to it up. Yeah. But it hasn't because he's not in charge anymore. Well, he used to make mistakes, didn't he? So he sat there in a caravan now, trying to fulfill his referee fantasies. Yeah. And you think to yourself, well, if he's such a big deal, why did it all end up in as a caravan life, as a travel in life? What's your problem with the caravan life, Bob? No problem at all, but it's not the life of a success. Referees don't get paid the same as footballers.

Do you know how much they get paid? Referees, 60 quid a week. Not the don't, not anymore. No, I'll look to this up. And if you are on the list for the Champions League with benefits and everything, 75 away. No, you're plus 200 grand a year. What do you think of that fact? Wow.

Not bad words, I think. Is it the wrong business? Yeah. So what's he doing, sat in a caravan then? I don't know, it's just that's his little thing in it. So maybe his wife threw him out for making bad decisions over a cup in the bedroom. Yeah, getting the time.

He's easily done in it. And you've got a couple of drinks. Not there, Howard. Another thing is, is what's bothered me this week, Andy, is you know, when someone I want to play a certain skill, Texacona, or puts a pass up the line and it temporarily and briefly goes out of play and then comes back in. Yes. Donnie, think it's a disgrace that that's... That they do that?

No, that's not allowed. The artistry of that. Ahhhhhhhhhh. It's taken out of the game because it has to... Can I have some time to think about that? Yeah, can come back to that next week, maybe. Oh, right, fair enough. Not thought about.

Yeah, what's your opinion? No. Bollocks. Well, you know, you curve it round to defend it that it temporarily goes over the chalk line as it were and then comes back It was the point having a line then what's the point having rules? What's the point of anything? Okay, then I would draw it. Yeah, see? I'm gonna draw it. Yeah, memory man What else do we want to talk about Bob? Well, what do I want to talk about or what you give me a list here? Yeah, cuz I said to you. What do you want to talk about Bob? Well, what do I want to talk about or what you want to make?

Can you give me a list here? Yeah. Because I said to you, what do you want to talk about this week? And what was the list? And you've put commentators. Yeah. Yellow kits. Yellow kits, yeah.

What do you think the yellow kits are, when I was young, those only Watford. And that didn't matter. It's just Watford. They get on the marriage. Is that not a yellow kit? That's an airy gold kit, isn't it? It's it. Yeah. And I just think out of the corner of your eye, They get on the knowledge. Is that not a yellow cat? No, that's an airy gold cat in it. It's it.

Yeah. And I just think out of the corner of your eye on the football field, right? Right in the corner of your eye. Yeah. Right. A blue cat, a red cat, a green cat, and so on. Not a green cat. Not going to be as visible as that yellow cat.

Is it a cheat? I'm suspicious it could be because of course, leads united with the first people to change to a yellow kit. Is it a cheat? I'm suspicious it could be because of course leads united with the first people to change to a yellow kit. Speaking as a Sunland final we've got the all green kit is over a weir strip and we're the pretty much near the bottom of the Premier League. Yeah. It's a kit that clashes with the pitch for God's sake. Yeah. What's that about? It's typical. Who made that decision? I'm asking you a simple, quite a simple question. Do you think a yellow, a bright, fluorescent yellow kit should be allowed on the pitch?

Insofar as it gives an advantage? I'm still trying to get my head runk and airy gulped, to be honest. Yeah. There's a concept, there's a colour. So, is this a no? What are you saying? No. No, it's not good.

I'm gonna say no. All right, well, I wanted to talk about that. We've got your answer. Is that it then? That's about it. On yellow kits. Well, I've got other things. I know it down.

I'm wondering, I'm trying to find, oh, if I command an individual male or female, who lost their virginity to a police dog handler, male or female, you know, I don't mind whether the dogs are... You're not bothered about dogs, never dog or it's for crowd control. Right. So, I'm asking that generally to anyone who's listening, but of course, you and I, did you lose your feet over? No, no. No? No. Okay, you pet shop owner? No. Butcher? No. Keep

going. I'm getting closer. Give us a little clue. In retail probably. Outdoors. Outdoor worker. An outdoor welder. How well does the work outdoors, my friend? Brickie. Getting close. Mealy. Man. Ricky, getting close. Neely. Ah man, plastering on that ginger. Strickly outdoor. Completely outdoor. Strickly out of Rufa.

It was a Rufa. It was. That's nice. I lost my virginity to a Rufa. Well, well I'm glad I asked that now. It's far, and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get a maple tree on Uber Eats, but maple syrup, maple lattes, and maple bourbon.

Yes, we deliver those. Turtles? No, but turtles the dessert? Yes, because those are groceries and we deliver those too, along with your favorite restaurant food, alcohol, and other everyday essentials. Order Uber Eats now. For alcohol you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See you at for details. Do you want me to introduce the topic here? Have you got another one? Well, you've got a big list there.

Well, you've got a big list. I have, yeah. Well, I'm late Tomlin, the footballer, yeah. Do you can you picture him? The portly. Yeah. He went to Bournemouth, didn't he? And then they sent him away again.

I think he's, I'm really been sent to Bristol this morning. He has. But when you look at him, it's quite apparent that he was born to be a train driver, for example, or a functional alcoholic. Like Steve McLaren, right? He was born to be a carpet salesman, one to sell carpets with his incipit smarts on. So I mean, I was just wondering if you could think of any footballers that their appearance clearly gives away what profession they should have entered. Yet again my attention has turned to John Terry. What do you reckon he should have been?

A neurosurgeon. Right. He now he looks bright as a person. He's got those eyes. He looks like he's seen inside you. See right through. Do you believe that he looks bright as a boy. He's got those eyes. Yeah, he looks like he's seen inside you see right through Yeah, do you believe that he dominates the Chelsea dressing room or Physically physically mentally, you know, it seems to be that's the room But completely there's no evidence for the problem. I think he probably stands with one of his feet up on the bench When he's addressing them. Oh, you know, that kind of stance that says, I'm in charge here. Yeah. You listen to me or get outside.

And he thumps the lockers and he said, listen to me. Yeah. We're going to play it up the wing. Yeah. The Derek Costa. If you say Derek Costa on the wing, pass it to him. He's the one in denim. Give it a win. Would you be proud of your club if they were the first club to have a denim kit? Definitely. Yeah, Me too. Let's see if we can get the race to the denim kit then. Yeah, I've got people on top of the boat. I'm sure you have.

Might a sunsland. Yeah, you could convince the sunsland management. I know one of the stewards. I was a ballboy once at theusberg. Wait, just once. Just once, yeah. Did you have to apply for that then, or did you just climb over the realons and go in there? And sit down. I can't remember. I did play for England once, you know.

Right, well. You left like a fucking cavalier there, like you threw your head back. I did it with the World Cup in Spain. And they got an England team together to play an Italian team right of fans, twats, no not necessarily, and I played for the England team, really decent stadiums well, right, car park, everything was dominated at that work up by the legend that was the one man army, the Nottingham Forest fan. Right.

Who was apparently caused this mayhem across the Europe? Well, he's on. In those days, yeah, one man army. Wow. And once we were in a bar and he came to the website and banging on the window of the bar. And I was like, gosh, that's the one man army, fuck. What's going on? Something's going to go off.

And he opened the door. And he threw a coin inside and ran. And did it just, it just fell to the floor. Just rolled a little bit and then... No, this was the door. He got me over it and he threw it. It went straight into the slot on the fruit machine. Only one in the jackpot.

Oh, but he ran away and he couldn't clear it. But that's the beauty of the woman army. That's this one is for you, lad. So did you keep it? We all shared it out. We all did the police really, shouldn't you? Legally. Wasn't yours.

We all had some tapas. Wasn't yours to share? Tapas is a queer thing, isn't we? We're in Bilbao, and you go into these little bars that got a little bit of potato, a bit of egg, a bit of egg, a bit of meat and stuff, and little pots on the bar. But it's cheese. But it's cheese. A lot of our octopus and that's all right.

So it raw, raw suet, just pile up? Yeah, I love suet. I don't know, I mentioned suet when I'm trying to do a podcast. You know what? We should try and get some suet sponsorship. Yeah, because of this. It's probably our chance for the suet manufacturer, isn't it? They need a boost. Anyway, so they're there and like all the old

bass fanners, a sat at the bar, smoking and coughing and spluttering over these little parts. So glad for tapass that then. Yeah, well, anyway, you don't want to hear about tapass, I'll move on. So that was the one, my army. I can't remember what you were asking me. It was, have you got anything you want to talk about football? No, nothing.

Not just at the second, but you know, Pelle opened up his museum, a memorabilia. Yeah. Of all this stuff, a bit sad, isn't it? He's flogging it, isn't he? He's selling it all off. Yeah. He's archive of dreams. Do you know what he's actually selling? Well, he's got a replica of the Jules Remyotrophy. He's got the football that he scored his 100,000th goal with, I think it was.

Yeah, in one match. But that includes, that's not just league matches and national's, that includes kick-about for when he was a kid. Right. And like, games in the garden with these kids and stuff, he used to write them all down. You can make a note of how many goals he'd scored. And he eventually got 100,000. You tell them he'd made the joke for you.

No, not making it up. Oh, right. But he's flocking it anyway. He's flocking that ball. So he's flocking the football. He's flocking the football. Yeah. And there's a ring. He got a ring from when he played in the American League.

Yeah. In the 70s. Yeah. He's flocking that. Right. What sort of ring? I think you just bought it from a jewelers. OK.

He can't be. But it's an American ring, so it's got to be good. American rings are beautiful. A lot of American rings. Incredibly round be good American rings are beautiful a lot of American incredibly round do you not mean on the British rings just smooth yeah so I was but anyway it got me he can't need the money can he I don't think he does you've got every way you're going to get free dinner right

yeah you're free tap us if he went if he stalled into top man yeah yeah top man's where you get the best gear in it pretty much Yeah, so he stores in the top top go good. Hi, I'm pearly. Yeah, yeah, give us a suit man. Yeah, yeah He's getting a suit any they've been measuring them up by the time he finished the sentence. So what do we do with evening? I'll get the team measure out I'll suit I want this Lamborghini on pearle. Yeah. I'll sign that Ferrari if you give me that Lamborghini. Job done. But anyway, he just got me thinking if like if I was today, I said the hands of a master criminal or something. Yeah. Or it says I don't know, it might be

road accident, whatever, whether I would leave anything that was worth putting in a museum. Do you have any memorabilia of your own? Well, the only thing I could think of, and I'm going to ask you the same question after I'm going to put, do you know the American actor? Oh, I love him, man. Has he got a name? Oh, Kristian. Kristian Slater.

Oh, yeah. Kristian Slater. What was he in? He was in the Kristian Slater show. Oh, come on Christian Slater. What was he in? He was in the Christian Slater, sure. Oh, come on. Be sensible. He was in true romance. True romance. Great film. And that was Heathers. Heathers is a good film and all in it. And he's been in some other films that weren't good. Just because you've mentioned Far enough. There was a judgement. Yeah. Each and every one of us to a man or a woman has been in a bad film, aren't we?

Yeah, at some point. Oh, lost their vision, you need to do a roof. I'll tell you the roof. You'll reward me with mistakes. Of all made mistakes. The man, you, do you know the film that won the Oscar spotlight, is it called? Yeah. I won't say that, that is for King Orphan.

Is it? It's terrible. But that one that won the Oscar's last year was Rubish's as well, what was it, Birdman or something? Birdman's all right for a very good What is of it? No, you say fuck now fuck birdman. That's what I say her locker was bad, though. I didn't get into that Didn't get beyond the open entitled. No, I just wanted to put it out there that if you're thinking of watching spot Like honestly don't bother. I tell you what was better than it. What did I go and say this week?

I went to see London as Fallen. Oh yeah, that one everyone says is rubbish. Yeah, the say, it's rubbish, but it's like the says spotlights, you know, they're giving it an Oscar and it's so dreary. Anyway, it's almost as if you're completely out to step with my opinion. No, I just like to be at an attend, you know, I'm, I'm good that you've got your own beliefs though So you're not just following the crowd. I'm doing a movie with Christian Slater. Are you right now? I'm the past I'm telling me something I'm telling me I like thought All right, and I'm doing a movie called Churchill the Hollywood years, right with Christian Slater And I explain to him believe you've been in a movie Sorry and I explain to him. I believe you've been in a movie. Sorry. I promised.

And I explain to him that I would like to reverse the toilet, yeah, so that you sit fair in the system. That's good. Right, simple as that. Christie and Slayer agreed, I'm keeping it short, he agreed to invest in this business. And Ben and I asked, he did me some initial sketches of how it might look.

All right. With... On some proper technical drawing paper. No, not just on air for paper. It's a fine packet. Better quality paper than printer paper. I don't mean that bad. A decent air for paper it is.

Right. And... You could go into a investors office and say, look, I've got this. And he is the initial seriously. Yes. The paper was that good. Yeah. Mr. Christian Slater from Heather's on a reasonably high quality paper as designer reverse toilet. I just wondered if you guys, you investors are interested in taking this up. Where would you go with that? Would you go to armoureded shanks with it? No, shut it up. Well, it's almost like laughing in their faces, isn't it? It's like you guys here,

you've defined what the toilet is that we know. Yeah. I'm here to tell you you're wrong. You should. You should. You should. them right up because at the moment, all the security probably not the sense that you've got a decent decent quality air for me equals decent idea Yeah, get out. So we spend no time staring at the back of a door. Yeah, or the floor Yeah, you reverse this system and face the system Yeah, you could still put little wing mirrors on the system if you want to look at the door Okay, so you think they might be an intrusion. Oh wait, if that's your thing, you can still do that. But on top of the system, you could put your laptop,

you could put an adult colour in book. You could. Whatever, you could put a little pop plant there, you can stare out the window. It's genius. That system's surface is just going to worst, isn't it? Absolutely, go the way. It's not being utilised at all.

Sometimes you see a bit of poppourry on there always been a little bit of a popular artist. I've always been a little bit of a popular artist. I've always been a little bit of a popular artist. I've always been a little bit of a popular artist. I've always been a little bit of a popular artist. I've always been a little bit of a popular artist. I've always been a little bit of a popular artist. I've always been a little bit of a popular artist. I've always been a little bit of a popular artist.

I've always been a little bit of a popular artist. I've always been a little bit of a popular artist. I've always been a little bit of a popular artist. I've always you there? Yeah, you just have. When I asked you if you had any memorabilia, I kind of meant football memorabilia, like Pelle would have. No, I haven't got any football memorabilia, I haven't either. Do you have any football memorabilia? I've got the autobiography of Frank Worthing. Yeah, that's just a book by a footballer. Yeah, but yeah, so you've got a library, yet I'm looking for a member. No, no, it's mine.

I've got a feedback and it's signed as well, actually. All right, well now we're talking. One hump or two by Frank Worthington. And is it signed by Frank? It's signed by someone that's written Frank Worthington in the front. I don't know whether it was him or not. You've never tried to authenticate it?

Why would a Frank Worthington doesn't like the kind of man who'd lie, but his signature? Yeah, but if it wasn't Frank Worthy and I was sad in it, then it, you know, that's not a valid point you've made, is it? Right. That's all I've got. Okay, well we've come to a, like, an end of an alleyway there, neither of us have really got anything to put bomb on. If we had a bell, we're going're going to ring the seat let's stop this topic now. Yeah would be ringing it. Yeah I'll tell you what instead of ringing the bell let's have a little bit of music for our Eastern. Just to keep them up to date with the bell. Right, I think we should cover some of this week's football news, Bob. So, you know, this is a football podcast.

All right, go on then. Manchester United, let's we forget last week the launched an official tractor in the far east. This week the plot thickens. They've teamed up with Gulf Oil. Right. You've earned it, haven't you? Yeah, for all the petrol needs. Well, it's the actually Gulf Oil are now Manchester United's first official global lubricant oil and fuel retail partner. Okay, so there's now an official fuel. So, lubricant. I mean, I had this problem last week, so the idea is that a man United fund will now say, I'm stopping at the Gulf garage. I'm only going to the Gulf from now. Because I want man United fuel in my car.

Yeah, man United fluid petrol. Yeah. Oh, but it's been there tractor. Yeah. Wouldn't it? I wonder if my little little got out and bought the tractor since last week. Yeah. I wonder if man United need a global reverse toilet partner. I think it's something you should look in. No. You know what I mean? You can on the back of the sister and you can have a bobbich out and picture. Yeah. And Alex for a good side. big norm could be on the seat you know the bit that you pull down yeah it could like I tell you what you know like it could like I've a comb over a chalant thing so that when you finish yeah no I

amy throw it's actually on the seat you close the lid and then you pull the wool over the top of the lead. And that creates the flush. No, it just creates like a Bobby Chatton ride. Yeah, I often wondered if Bobby, if could this work, Andy, I'm really, really interested in what your opinion on this, right? Bobby Chatton's come over, right? Yeah. You took one strand of his hair, then the tide, the tide had a hook to it, a fishing hook with a maggot on it. And then you leaned Bobby Chatton over the stream. Yeah.

Do you think you could catch out on Bobby with using Bobby Chatton's head? I reckon you get a tiddler. You get a tiddler. Of course you get a tiddler. Well then I'm very happy. I wonder if he does that in his spare time. A little stack on that. I wonder if that's the whole purpose of the storm over.

Who's laughing now? Because he's from Northumberland. There's a lot of streams in Northumberland. A lot of streams. A lot of wilderness. Yeah. For our wiener, he could be up there. Wondering off.

Bangling his head in the water. Yeah, getting tidal. Bringing in titlers. Tiny little trout. The sort that you could cook just with like a match and then gobble up. Do you know what I mean? By the side of the stream.

Yeah. And then back home. Well, there you are. Back home for Brookside. So that's what Manchester United have done this week. Yeah. I'm wondering if there's a large story at play here. Right.

Could Manchester United possibly be turning their back on the football and gradually transform themselves into some kind of agricultural machinery? All right fuels, oil. Seller. Traffers, fuels. I mean Van Gaal. Do you say Van Haal? Van Gaal? Van Gaal. Oh. Oh. I told you last week, Ania, I don't like all this bit, you know, powerful minute comes to Chelsea. I don't like all this bitness towards coming up a critical of Louis Van Gogh. You called him Garth Soul.

Yeah, I was trying to get a cheap laugh. Well, he's got the look of a rural man, aren't he? Yes. And he's not a city slicker, is he? He's a bit poorer, isn't he? Yeah, Marina's a city slicker. Yeah. Marina pushes his jacket sleeves up. Yeah.

And it's spring. Van Gaul's more comfortable in his, really, in his decent sized valley. Dungarees. And all that, kid. The summer in, I don't quite know where it's, where they're going with it, but... Well, we don't know either, do we? It's like, it's grease an all that kit. There's summer in it, I don't quite know where it's where they're going with it, but we don't know either, do we, it's like it's like us in Puten. Yeah. It's cut and mouse, isn't it? It's a problem, they're soft, remote

now these football clubs. I remember a time when it got out on middle to brother, you could just go out in their offices, say hello, how are you doing? Just nick a couple of pencils. What's up, man, you're weird. Yeah, I like your calendar. I love that. Whatever, blah, blah. That's a nice bin. Yeah, but now we're there. It's a tick and that. I've got a season ticker, so I think you'll find I'm entitled to that.

Yeah. And that's what it was like. But now, who knows what man United are up to? They're concentrating more on oils, fuels, lubricants, and tractors. Yeah. Then they are on signing themselves, for example, a decent winger, you know, while I mean. So was it gonna lead? It's interesting, isn't it? Five years from now, the football side, because they're just a global

corporation and global corporations change, change direction all the time, don't they? Global corporations, I was once talking to a blog, what was he called? A telekirt and he was head of a global organization and he said to me, Bob, we don't think a year ahead or 10 years ahead, we think 100 years in the future. That's a difference between them and us, isn't it? Exactly. God. 100 years. Well, you know, what law, can I just read you this

quote? Yeah, right. Manchester United is managing director. Yeah. Coming back to what you've just said, he said, while both Manchester United and Gulf have evolved and adapted since their foundation, more than 100 years ago, neither has forgotten its roots. I'm sorry yeah where do you think I think the girl mince is gonna be in under the earth Bob well with the girl look at the changes now to FC Peter Rodgerjewicz Lego collection something like that so it decent no chance well is that all for this week only just before we go yeah we also asked the the listeners yeah what's the weirdest thing you've ever took it all much all right yeah what did they say well J. Kim it said the 1997

1997 clear final he doesn't specify which league it was in our play or anything the couple behind me brought a full-on picnic cheeseboards chutney the lot right that sounds like two doesn't it yeah that sounds a bit like error food yeah you know I'm yeah it doesn't surprise me though Andy you know also it's not the thing is is they took some food in the box well a picnic oh what's a picnic I see but you put your you know putting it might even have been in a bag a picnic, you know, putting it, it might even have been in a bag. Shall I carry on? Yes, please.

Harry Flowers, OBE says, again, not me. It's sort of like, what's the weirdest thing you've ever seen? Anybody else take it or much? He saw some kids with a guy in the South Bank over West Ham in the early 80s. What a guy like a guy like Gary Fox. Yeah. He doesn't see whether it was November the 5th or not. I might just be in a February guy. Okay. Someone called Carhandle sent us a picture of a 1.99 Michael Jackson canvas that he took to the 2014 Scottish League Cup Final. A canvas? A canvas of Michael Jackson.

I like it. Found on the way there. I like that. I. Sort of in with them. And finally, Colin McCarthy, I took my dad to a football match the other year. And he's pretty weird. You think that was quite a flip in the market, wouldn't you? But then he elaborated and he went, he slept on a Yugoslavia mountain for a bit in 1974, because Albania wouldn't let him in. His name is John. Well, on that note, I think, you you know can you be say something like John Wins. John Wins. John Wins are fatigued, I'm going to say this week. I'd love to talk some more about the annuity that the football league appear in you. Yes. That we mentioned last week.

Well I'll have to be next week. We've run out of time so we can't. Yeah because that is an incredible tale. Remember it does involve the end of football as we know it. Tune in for that people. Next week I shall spill the beans. Thanks very much Bob, thanks Andy. It's fall and you can get anything you need with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get a maple tree on Uber Eats, but maple syrup and maple lattes? Yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats.

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