Athletico Mince - Ep.6 - World’s Biggest Poppadom

Episode Date: April 12, 2016

Bob’s new shoes, stolen Frosties, Louis van Gaal’s sanity, beanies, Leighton Baines’ shorts swap and a free transfer to Geordie Shore. Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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See you after details. Alright Bob, alright and Andy can we get on with this please because I'm on a tight schedule to get me churned and get me back for dinner date. Thank you, let's have a brief menu and crack on. Before we start, I'm not going to be dictated to by you, but how long this takes. That's just a question. If it falls follow, then there you go. Request ignored. The fellow that does the drawings for us on audio boom.com. He's asked if we could talk about stuff today that's mainly circular and triangular because they're easy to draw. Okay, well, I fire up straight away because he's in luck, because I went to the middle of the Preston match on Saturday and a key moment in the match, someone, you know, those very amusing balloons that are long and then they take a little journey of their own.

You know, like a screechy balloon. Oh, yeah, they. Yeah, you've laughed as soon as you thought. You love it. Love it. And let one of them off. I've just thought it's not round, is it? It's not round.

It's not round. All right, check this out for size. Would you agree that buckets have got a certain round list of them? Well, in the top. Yeah. They're round, you know, from the, they could to the corner of the plank. So in the top. All right,, you know, from the... Cylindic. ...to the corner of the corner of the view. Alright, but there's a bloke now, right?

He's a famous footballer, but I want to have another section about famous footballers. And he went to India to Bombay. Absolutely Mumbai, absolutely true. And he was so important that he had his in-souls flown over from Saval Roe in London. in London. I'm talking a man of means, yeah, and a man of dress is probably. He came out of the hotel and turned right, and a little Indian man jumped out of a bush and from a bucket, through a book of liquidy shit onto his shoes.

All of the insoles are off. A little of seapes through one, the penetrative powers of faces are legendary. So he is the thing though, he skipers off. Another little Indian man comes up and says, oh sir, that's awful. Did the little man with the book it? Who I don't know. The stranger. That stranger little man. Oh, look, come with me, sir. I've got a bucket of water, all the cleaning stuff to bring your shoes back good. And it's only $25.

And I just thought that was the best scam. Actually, shit. Yeah. Don't you think it's the greatest scam? He's offering a cleaner off with a bit of water yeah for 25 dollars I'm sure it's rupees or something over there and it's gonna need more than water but I mean what I'd say the right good scrubbing yeah I just like the thought of the little man waiting with his bucket to Todd in the in the bush to jump out on someone with some art

shows this sounds like something for me to think about as a possible career move, I think. Are you happy that I've introduced a circular item right near the top of the, in the podcast? You've introduced a circular item and you've introduced feces as well, which is recurrent theme on this podcast. I mean, you're not mean to do that.

But it happens. Can I just go back to the theme music that we've got? Yeah. Lovely, luting, oriental theme music that we've got? Yeah, lovely, lill-ting oriental theme music that we've got. Yes. Just as my way of kind of smoothing things over with the far east, as I was on my way here today from Sunderland, my bus into town went past the panda oriental buffet on home side.

It's a bit of a niche reference, but if you're from Sunderland, you know what I mean. And there's a sign in the window that says ring found enquiry within. Right. So if you've been in the Panda Buffet in homicide recently in Loster Ring, they've got it. Get yourself in. Okay. And get it back. Serving the oriental community, like a rocket, like a bullet, like Henry Kitch. Like fire itself. Well done, you. Thank you. Are you going to borrow us with a menu? No, not really. Some stuff about mascots. Hey, what Steve McClaren doing at this moment now caught you out there. Oh, Steve McClaren right now today in

God's 2016, are reckoned he's sitting with a pen and paper and he's doing some sums. Just doing some sums. He's doing some sums because he's thinking about getting himself one of them white vans. What see if he can make a living out of it?

He's to set himself up, a few light removals. Man with a van. A man with a van. McLaren man with a van. Maybe he's advertising the lot of paper or put a postcard in the post office window or in the suit and market or in that bit in the suit and market where they sell three piece suites and things. I reckon he's thinking about that.

He wants to be his own boss for a while. Yeah of course he does. I mean, I don't think it's a great day for Steve today. I've got two images in me, I'm thinking he's trying on some novelty oven gloves but it hasn't resed a smile and he's just thrown in, it was flicking him. Has he gotten them off a beard, you think? I don't, I don't really know. I can just say, you know, that... Has he purchased them, or has he just tried them on? No, I think he's, there's something going on

in another part of the house, and he's crept off because, you know, the way he feels at the moment, he's tried the gloves on, thinking that we're cheering him up, and it hasn't worked. But, he could be a funeral, just smiling, he's grinning his face, is it off, couldn't he? That state of denial that he lives in. But he is one and this might also, you might also like to put this down as my joke. All the time for your joke already? No, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not necessarily saying it is the joke. Maybe Steve is trying to light a fag

that he's found in the park, yeah? And he's saying, judge me after 10 matches. Do you see? 10 matches. You know, I accepted that. Is a story, is a joke or? I do like to fag with a match these days. Everyone's got light as everything.

Alright so that's gone then. That's not your joke then. Well no, now it's not my joke but I will be back. You have another one later. Oh I'll be back alright. I don't think you're allowed to do that, you've either got a Jokai or I haven't. You kind of just deliver it and then go,

that didn't work, I'll try another one later on. It's like on the X-Factor where they do a song and they sing it badly and Carl goes, have you got another song and they do like a ballad and they do it beautifully. That's me. That's you. That's putting a lot of pressure on me next job. My next job isn't. Don't do it now. Did you hear about the Indian Lano's addicted to karaoke called Get Up to Sing? That's your joke. You give a nice joke. I have told a joke. You didn't like it. Did you?

That you had to laugh. Quite like that one actually. It's probably because I've been drinking. I'm learning the Indian language at the moment. Yeah. Yeah. So I was able to be the artist. Come on then.

Let's go. The reason you hang it though. Yeah. Of all else is because you are football's memory man, and I know you've got time to, you should put echo on it and I'll introduce it as like, memory man. Okay, I'll do something with that for the next week. Okay, you'll make it like Pinky and Perky, won't you? Yeah.

Anyway, I might do it a day. Here we go. All right, time to read. This is memory man challenge. Do you remember during the three day week in 1973, Anyway, I might do it a day. Here we go. All right, shall we meet? Today's memory. Do you remember during the three-day week in 1973-74, when mid-week matches were played in the afternoons, instead of the evenings, to save on floodlight use? Do you remember that, Bob?

Yes. Oh, there it is! And in fact, Andy, I went to one of those matches. Because you were jobless at S&PARC because they shut the schools as well for electric. And we went on the afternoon and I saw Middlesbrough Permanent United, including Alex Stephanie, George Best and Bobby Charles, get me. Not a big joke man now, I'm a Story and as well as everything else. Yeah, no, I do It was an elite and there be his wonderland the replay okay

The three-day week. Oh, that was all right. Wasn't it we could do with that again? I think oh it was sweet as a nut But a darkness a darkness never hurt anyone. I haven't worked a three-day week for years a darkness. But a darkness never hurt anyone. I haven't worked a three day week for years. Tim, yeah. What do you do one, half, two, a couple hours? A couple hours. This. But yeah, more of that I think. More three day weeks and less, um, nine day weeks. Less of the five days. Anything you want to talk about? Yeah, of course I do. One of the first things I'd like to ask you, because I think you're down as the 91st most annoying man into it, eh, yeah? Yeah, but that was a while ago, so I think now a lot more people

are on Twitter since that pool was done. So I'm probably top 30 now. But I know that you're more like the 91st most annoyed person because when people say things are incorrect, you're quite rightly to be honest, you're on the back, aren't you? Oh, yeah. You're an like the 91st most annoyed person because when people say things that aren't correct, you're quite rightly to be honest, you're on the back, aren't you? Oh yeah. You're an oyser. Like a limper.

Right. So I wanted to run this past you for judgment, not that you enjoy being judgment-landy, and then anywhere whatsoever. But irony, yeah. Once when I played for Middlesborough Boys, we went to a training camp in Hexham. Yeah. Me and me met tunneled under the tux shop, lifted the floorboards and nicked a box of

frosties. Right? The wall. The sun was really short. Next morning, as we were having our breakfast, as I was eating frosties because they're great. Great. Yeah. The boss of the camp walked in and said, which one of you lot is responsible for the theft of the frosties. Is that ironic that I was eating frosties as he was looking for the person who'd stole? Is that ironic? Um...

Yes. It is ironic? Yes. Oh, nice one. I thought it might be. Was it the frosties that you'd nicked? No, that would that be more ironic. What did you do with the frosties you'd nicked? I didn't.

I mean, don't we eat them dry? You sell them on the black market. But they didn't much of a black market at Campingham Middle and nowhere. About the 70s that was there, wasn't I? Sure. But in the frosties during the 3-day week? You know, as a 13-year-old, I wouldn't have had that idea.

You ate frosties because they're great. Tony, the tiger. Could you not have gone in a pub and just flogged them? I don't think we didn't have that culture now. This is a sort of culture that's spread down from Sunderland, you know, of people. Send a big lad in to flog them. Boxes, boxes.

It was a three-day wait. It's like, Russian, isn't it? Everyone's desperate. Yeah, no, can I ask you another eye or anyone then? As I got one to be incredibly quick, right? Well, we've got eight percent of football to get on the same point. Oh, yeah. Me and me made, right? Yeah. We're in Kessik and they had one of those outdoor box, outdoor glass front-end boxes displaying their knives, the hunting knives, the pen knives and so on, right? And it was pissing down with rain and we stopped but you could, we realised that you could

pull the latch up and just get a knife. So we, we stood there in a poor and river, about three hours till we had the bottle to met the move and we nicked a throwing knife, yeah? Yeah. We ran down to the lake, realised we were clear, got the throwing knife out and threw it at a tree. It missed the tree and went straight into the lake. Idiots. Idiots. But is that ironic that we stole a throwing knife? No. Then through it. It's not ironic, it's incompetent. If I was going to throw a throwing knife, I would make sure that we target, had dry land beyond it. Yeah. And not a lake. No, you wouldn't it's the mark of an asshole

Okay, thank you for indulge me in that. Let's see what you've got got got for us Basically, I don't want to break this team now, but this is gonna be my last podcast that I'm gonna do. Okay. I've been signed up for Jordy sure Jordy sure Really some starting a Monday What are you going to make? A clock, what a grubby landlord or something. The needs, the one someone who can just sit in what's a Channel 4 racing. What throughout the whole of the journey. So afternoon and drink like soup marker brand lager. But we don't

you have to frolic with the glasses and go on like that. No, because the second George shows a 24 hour operation. They get the young ones in to do the partying and the night clubs and that but they want someone who's going to sort of just you know sit around on his ass and watch the racing and drink Tesco, two point eight strength lager. Just yeah just just just a presence. Well I don't believe you Andy. For me as an old reviewer I think I have tried to watch it I couldn't believe you, Andy. For me as an old-of-you, I have tried to watch it. I couldn't have done this. Well, I think that's why they're getting us in.

That's a demographic thing. They want people like yourself to join in more. What are those books you write? The Tabitha... The Tabitha Huntly Mysteries. Mysteries, is it because that information was revealed that you were approached? Yeah. Yeah.

It's sorely on the back of that. Yeah. And I've been in touch with some people who do films as well about doing a Tabitha Huntly series of films. This should be filmed. They completely did the Harry Potter films. Right. Paramount. Paramount, want to do the Tabitha Huntly movies? Yeah, do some Tabitha, Tabitha, Tabitha Huntly movies. So I'm banging them out at the minute. Well, I wish you the best of luck as a background artist on Jody's show.

That's all I am. I wish you best of luck with it. Thanks so you know, I met the most of this because the last one, I'll not be back. Yeah, and I'm not sure to tell you where you were looking for some reaction to that. Kind of, yeah. Well, you ain't going to get one. Do I go next?

So you, you can have another coffee one. All right. Now, every one of our listeners is fascinated by my incredible tales of meeting footballers, yeah. Some of them are, yeah. Yeah. Well, he is a new one for you. I met Lee Dixon.

In fact, I had a night with Lee Dixon in a private member store playing snooker with him. And again, no playing snooker. No, playing snooker. And he, there's a name for it. He did that short. Full size table. Full size table.

And there's the name for it, but the shot where you go under the ball and it sometimes flies off the table. Yeah. Do you know the name for that shot? I don't know what I said. You just haven't got any way. Anyway, let's call it the... What should we call it?

When you try to lob it over another ball. Lob it over another ball, yeah. Or maybe you just do it in error. The beer's ripper. We'll call it the baza, yeah. The baza. He did a baza. Bang.

Mm. The white ball flew off the table, right? Hit Stephen Fry Fry right on his top hat and his top hat rim of his top hat fell into his porridge oh god he keeps his brains in his top hat doesn't he well the old spill out but that's a true story is it yes it is actually all of it even the top had it wasn't actually porridge it was a broth Your turn I mean I just got just Louis Van Gogh understood yeah, man. Yeah, yeah, is he clinically insane?

Or is he just a nobid no, that is difficult. difficult. He looks like a baby's in butter, don't he? Yeah, both of them. Yeah, yeah, combined and swollen. That is, is he clinically insane? I mean, I'm warming too much. I think I covered ourselves legally by saying, or is he just a nob-ed? Because it's gonna be one of the two, isn't it?

Well, I'm not close enough to the man. I think his obsessive writing and his opinions is enough to make preliminary inquiries. And I will leave this place and I will make those inquiries. He seems to be on the one-man mission to destroy Manchester United. Yeah. But the better at it he gets or worse,

depending on how you look at it, the more he seems to revel in it, it's like he's hiding him in plain sight. He's single-handedly destroying this one's proud football club who operate in what's called the theatre of dreams. Now I think Trident Standard should be coming in soon and shutting them down on that thing. No, but there's still dreams present. Even if there's a dream of a demise of Louis Van Gaul. Right.

People are still dreaming. Okay. They're dreaming that they're new crop of young players with double barreled names. A lot of them seem to have. Oh, they're. So I don't know what that's about. I like the writeback.

I've forgotten the stuff. I've forgotten the phone call. I'm gonna say it's called Botwick Benson. No, no, no, no, no, no, Tim. It's something Mensa. Tid with Mensa. Jeff Mensa. Jeff Mens no, no. It's something Mensa. Tidwit Mensa. It's a Djef Mensa. Djef Mensa, yeah.

He's the one who went off injured. Yeah, no, that's Bot's Spock with Fury, that one. No, that's Botwick Jackson, you're thinking, I've had a different one. And they've got Rochford up front. Rochford Popstar, yeah. No, but you know what, Andy, Ratchford,

Ratchman, Matchley Rochford. Right, so you, yeah, he's up front. I think there's some people wondering, there weren't bad at the weekend when I watched them. I think they'll beat at the end. As long as that kid was on the air. That right back was on and then Dami and Kierman and it all went tits up because they just spurs ripped them apart down that right flank.

We're getting dangerously close to football now. Yeah, Dami's a bit workman likely. But that kid though, the right back that we're injured, he's, what's the word I'm looking for? Swashbookler. He's a swashbookler. Isn't he? Tick Ding, correct word.

He's potentially the best defender England's got in the next 10 years. That's right. He's also got career ending injury written all over him as well. You reckon? Because of his attitude. Because of swashbookland. Because of the swashbookland. There's few that can spend a whole career swashbookling without, in fact, bookling. You reckon. Because of his attitude. Because of Swashbuckling. Because of the Swashbuckling. There's few that can spend a whole career swashbuckling without, in fact, buckling.

Stuart Piest kind of did it. He kind of did it. We have a lad at middle's we call George Friend who seems, um, is he a Swashbuckler? Yeah, very much so. He seems like a delicate sort. No, no, no, no. You're thinking of the little deer in the mid-Disney films. Oh, yeah, yeah. He'sly done. George Friend the done. George, friend, the deer. Well, we're gonna look into that for you, is he clinically insane? Or just a no-bed? Now, Andy, I've got a new item I wanted to introduce to you.

It's the only assistance of my wife. She wants to do an item which you call the wife's questions. Right. Because she's never made, you don't know the L.U.R. And I go off and spend this time and she wants to know a little bit more about you. So I said you can have three questions. So she's asked one, where do you get your hair done? I don't myself.

You do it yourself. I've got some of them clippers and I don't myself. Do you want to know more about process? Do you? I do. Of course I want to know more. Do you do it yourself out of tight arsonism? Yes. Fair enough. And because I've just basically got a crop style, number one, I'm trying to do it myself. And what I do, I set the iron and board up, and I get the latest issue of private eye, and put that down, open it up, peaches, four and five and start shaving their hair and it drops onto the private eye so that I'm covering

my eye and I'm bored in hair. Are you shaving into a mirror by the way? No, I'm just going, you know, instinct. Yeah. And I read the private eye as the hairs fall and onto it. It's a kind of a race against time. How much of these peaches can I read? Yeah. Before it's covered in me hair. Do you enjoy it? I do. I, it's one of the best things I don't. It's not a charm. I don't have many things in life that please me, but that's one of the best. Okay, so it cuts her own hair with a trimmer.

The wife's second question. Does he read private eye? Yeah, you wish. The wife's second question is, how tall are you? Simple as that. I also thought I was five foot six. Right. It turns out I'm five 11. You're five 11. Yeah. Yeah. You're what? So that's a lie. I always thought I was five six. Yeah. And then a few years ago, I had to go to my doctors for a new doctor's because I moved house. Right. And I got a bit of a checkup done and they did height and weight and all that sort of thing. Turns out I'm 5'7".

You're not 5'7 and I'm 5'7". That's been verified by a medical practitioner. So don't start with you. What you're going to say to someone like,alow, Andy, for other wife's question. But is it a dorma bungalow? I'm not prepared to answer that. Why wouldn't you answer whether it's got a... It's not normal business. Is it normal business? It's normal business. I'll approach it from...

You can come back next week after you've got an injunction. Do you know why a dorma bungalow is? I know what a dorma bungalow is. I'm not gonna say, because it might make you think that I live in one. Yeah. I know what one is though. Do you sleep why a Dharma bungalow is? I know what a Dharma bungalow is. I'm not going to say, because it might make you think that I live in one. Yeah. I know what one is though. Do you sleep upstairs and downstairs?

I sleep peacefully. Oh, clever. Like a baby. Well, that's the end of the wife's questions. Thank you. I enjoyed that. She's got some more for next week. Of course you will.

Bring them along. This week, of course you will bring them along. It's hockey season and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get a nice rank on Uber Eats. But iced tea, ice cream, or just plain old ice? Yes, we deliver those. Gultenders know, but chicken tenders yes, because those are groceries and we deliver those too.

Along with your favorite restaurant food, alcohol and other everyday essentials. Order Uber Eats now. For alcohol you must be legal drinking age, please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See out for details. Oh, oh, Andy. Yeah? Please, can I do guess a footballer? I enjoy it. Did we get it finished last week? Well, I did. I did. I did. You stopped playing, but all right, go on then. All right. I'm thinking of a player. Who is it? Yes, I'm answers. Is it Kristian Erickson? No. I wish that that one didn't. Yeah, I wish that gone.

Does he wear blue? No. Oh, there is a blue in the kit. Yeah. If you ask me if you say it is not a blue kit. There is blue in it. Yeah. Does he wear white? There is white in the kit. Is it a Christian law? Is it Harry Kinn? No. And for the time being, no more questions. I'm on tender hooks now. Right. So you're literal tender hooks. It's not a bad as game as it is if you see what I mean. Some of our listeners have been questioned in us again. Yeah. Things they want to know, I'll try one or two of them. It's quite interesting actually. And the valid point from KQ Anderson. Why do referees wear knee-high socks when they don't wear shin pads?

That's a good question. Isn't it? There's no reason whatsoever why referees should wear knee-high socks. They could quite easily just wear them ankle socks that you wear with trainers when you're on holiday. They aren't actually visible. I mean, I suppose if did footballers originally have shin pads? They didn't originally, but some of them chose to wear the socks around the ankles, didn't

they? Yeah, there were some of them at QPR, I used to Yeah, they were Thomas at QPR used to do it. And Chris Waddle used to do it. Waddle, yeah. And that lad at Villa does it really? He used to do it. It's easy to walk in disaster him. He's an accident.

We didn't know how to engralish. Because of his lack of safety. He's going to lose his shins. Yeah. See young people, you say? They think the shins are like forever. Care, aren't they? Are we your shins?

My shins are robust. Yeah. They're not very long, though. They're not as long as you'd expect from a man who was five foot seven. So what I was thinking. Get a job done. Do you like me new shoes? By the way. I'm looking at them and I'm wondering why? Why, why, why you've chosen them? Well, they're sage coloured. Yeah. Right. That's nice in it. It's different.

What's that stain at the top? That's nice in it. It's different. What's that stain at the top? That's a detail. Is it? It's just look a bit like a bird line, don't it? Yeah. Anyway, they've got a pertinent technology in the soul that makes them more comfortable than having angels take you along on your road. So you don't even feel as any touch on the ground? You just feel like it're from a lot. I'm literally lighter than there. I'm not promoting them so I won't mention the name. Right. But I hope they are comfortable because they look ridiculous. Oh, they look fucking awful, don't they? Yeah. But I like the comfort of them, you know, but can I ever go on them later on? What size feet have you got? It's four. And he is actually an eight. Yeah, you've got wide feet. I might have. And you go to the question. I love it. Actually, I have no idea what the answer to that is. And I

would, I think some of the skinnier, more thrush like lines, one that you see a lot of, you know, I think that there must be, there must be very happy that they do other long stuff. I think they just do it just to try and reinforce their authority. Do you think Lenten Bands? Lenten Bands, where's his kids football in mod? Yeah. Where's his kids' shorts? Yeah, his son's shorts.

It gets them from the kids' section of the shop. Got a tiny. I think they'll give him his shorts before the match and he'll go around the club shop and you'll say I've got these kind of swat them as I'm kids. Yeah they'll see if you've got a receipt. Oh man and I'll say let me always get me. But he'll have it in a bag. Yeah. Official bag and they'll see right that's kind of a proof of purchase. We'll swap them for you this time next time you need a receipt. Yeah I like this. And he'll go off giving them the visa. I know what is it? Come on, it's kickoff. So, yes, just I bought these. And my

son got them for us for today as much, but he got them extra large. And I just wanted a nice, difficult for him. He'd have to say there were forests on. Yeah. He bought them for his son, but he picked the wrong ones up. I bought these for his son, and I threw the bag away, because that was a ruin of surprise. Like, yeah, I know. And I what let it in. I'm gonna try an upsell to them as well with a say would you like a buy a ruler and have it in rule? We've got them on special offer. Okay. Or a pencil sharpener. Yeah. Or some golf teas. Because that's the sort of shake they sell, isn't it? Club

shops. I tell you why would like. It's a little's bro got a club shop. Yeah, it's vast. It's bigger than a little, Yeah. Is it, is it, um, is it bigger than a mansion? It's part of the ground. It's the biggest part of the Riverside stadium. They dwarfs the pitch, does it? Yeah. Listen to this though. Imagine this for like a YouTube sensation or something. We get a pair of Lent and Bands is short and we film as is it it bro it was the right back Chelsea Abrim of itch but is it is a Vinnavitch Ivanovitch as Ivanovitch tries to put the right back because that left back he's been there for about four years now when I still can't see his name. Aspicala Leta. Aspicala Leta. Yeah anyway Anyway, you've watched them get into the shots.

Get into the lens and burn the shots. Be alright, that would be. That would be a YouTube sensation. I went a bit, I went a bit, some of a sudden, be alright, that would be. That would be something, wouldn't it? Well, it's a nice change from our northern taunts. Yeah, true. Because we're probably in Ileonid, a lot of the southerners.

You know this Brexit thing. Yeah. Well, you know, like I don't want your opinion on it. I got one. Well, like you know about economics. That's what you do. Yeah, it's saving money. Well, it's saving money to Brexit. It depends on whether poundlank is still sourced some of their stuff from from the far east or not. You're just thinking of your very local needs. My immediate needs. How will it affect my local town? I'll have to look this to you.

Yeah. Well, I'm gonna stop that line. I don't wanna know more about what you were gonna say. Well, what I was gonna say is, like Brexit sounds like a breakfast biscuit, don't it? Is that another one of your jokes? No, it's not. It's just, I don't think,

Brexit's the ones who want to go out, yeah. We want to leave the EUC. Yeah. Yeah. It's it, not the EUC. EUC. It's a EUC. I don't even think it's the EUC anymore.

I think it's the EU. When did that change there? I voted the EUC. I didn't, exactly. I don't remember going in and voting for the EU. I would never have voted for the EU. I voted in 75 and I voted for the common market. Common market or there might have been a bracket EUC.

Yeah. EU. What's that, what's that shot for? God, we've, honestly, we've had the wool pulled over. I'm with our, we're up sheeple. So can I give you another two questions for me footballer Andy? Two. Yeah. At this stage you've established a bit of white. Is he in it national footballer? Yes. That was quite telling. I think you think about that a bit.

Is he, does he score a lot of goals? Very, very occasionally. That's your questions up. If you want to have a guess, you're more welcome. Debbie Ali. No, not Debbie Ali. We've got to get a blue in Tottenham's kit. It's like dog blues, isn't it?

The shorts and the socks. Oh, they, the shorts are dog blue, they're not black. Guy had them down as black, that's a revelation. I think they're dog blue, aren't they? See your YS, that's what they said. So, it's the first player then. So, you've made progress. But, did that out of you?

This wig. Yeah. An arsenal of fun. Yeah. Try to pick a fight with West Dam's mascot. I said progress. But did that out of you? This week, an Arsenal fan, trying to pick a fight with West Dams Musco. Right. What do you think of that? A grown man, trying to pick a fight. I don't think you should gold things that are trying to entertain children.

Just as a basic principle. You know, like, Remi Des desks out would he have said something about Olivia life? He was a he was a philosopher. I'm trying to think of someone clever. Anyway you would say like in your life. No you're like Kojak did a song and it's like always do this or yeah. Some song is like talking. It was a call if I'm thinking of another one. So another one where a bloke saying stuff about how you should lead your life. But anyone was like,

don't go, mascots, fuck, but you know. I was that the sunscreen one. Yeah, that one. Yeah, that one. That wasn't Tally Sir Valas. But it got you, Tally got you there though, didn't he? Did I, I got there, but yeah, that was... I just think I saw. I'm not responding greatly to your question. Don't ask that question. Do you have gold cartoon characters?

No, you can't, can you? I think that's what I've got on that. OK, well, I got me tickets for the euros this week, aren't I? How are you going? Got me tickets for Marseille. You don't like Marseille, though, do you? No, I don't like. Well, I mean, I shouldn't say that, but you have twice.

You know, it's the birthplace of Le Corbusier and his brutal architecture. It's big like tower block is there. And it's the birthplace of Zidane with his chest height headbutts. Yep, brutal. Brutal. And I think there's a bit of a...

Is there a bit too much for you in you? It's a delicate sensibilities. I am delicate. You are. Because once again, you've felt a mention of fact that I am delicate because of being very ill. Are you wondering how I'm getting on? I'm not really.

I couldn't give a shit. You couldn't give a shit. No. I don't even think you're ill. Yeah, Emma, do you want to say this guy? No. I don't want to say you're scar. I'll spew up if you want.

Do you want me to spew up? Go on then, spew up. Oh, you're scar. I'll spew up if you want me to spew up. Oh, then spew up. Oh, we're like I can spew up on demand. You spew up three seconds before we started. So you know, we're doing again. That was spitting. So, I mean, I'm out here for five nights. Right. Then I move up right the way up north to lens. You can't get a hotel room anywhere near lens. And I'm far too ill to camp as I usually do. Hey, you're not checking into a hospital to get your blood changed or something. So I'm staying in Lille. Do you know anything about Lille? Why do you know nothing about it?

Because I'm ping-a-gonged. Anyway, I then go from Lille all the way back down to Leon. For us, when we play in St. Eddie yet, no hotels available in St. Eddie yet. So what are you going to do? Last train at the moment is exactly the same time as the end of the match. Why even bothering? Well, I think,'ve you never beaten or you were as a world cup. It's terrific. No, that's it. As Tony the Tiger would say,

they're great. Oh, see, they really are. I'm not a millionaire celebrity. You say, so I'm a millionaire. Well, you live in a mansion. What works be you say I'm living in a mansion? It's your millionaire. I've got three bedrooms, semi-detached house. You're a millionaire. You've got three bedrooms, I mean, details. You're a millionaire, you're on the telly. Yeah. Well, let's, um, Scott Shags. What about them? I don't know, except I saw that someone had asked,

put that down as a question. Just Scott Shags. Just Scott Shags. Do you want to? No, nothing to say. Have you ever had a beanie? A, a bean roundie, I mean, the Chippee. A beanie, yeah.

We call them. They call them bean roundies, yeah. Bean roundies down in the borough. Yeah, a beanie. They don't know I'm down south at all. I've just discovered my local Chippee does them. There. And there was rare as hen's teeth now.

They're beautiful aren't they? What it is, ladies and gentlemen, the southern people, is it's deep fried. It's the same shape as a fishcake, the ones I get in there, in the centre of Berk Beans surrounded by potato and then batted. Was it bread crumbed the bean? But I think it was, isn't it? It's beautiful, isn't it?

It is. You can get a pea fritter down here, which is processed peas made in the bowl. I wonder if we could get sponsorship for this podcast from the Beanie Council, the UK Beanie Council. Beanie rounders. Or beanie rounders. I mean the beauty of the Beanie rounder is that it's value, value, value, value, because you can't make that at all.

No. You haven't got the technology. It's ultimate. It's ultimate beans inside mashed potato and then deep fry it. Mashed potato. Yes, well what, sausage meat? Fuck off.

What? Beans sausage meat butter. Oh, well, all you see, I'm smoggy, I'm further down slightly purer like it was. So it's plain. Beans potato butter. That's horrible. Yeah, well if you ever up there, do try it boys and girls because they're either way, I'm sure it's beautiful with sausage and mayonnaise.

That's like someone's took a lump of, Poe man's cottage pie and just chucked it in the fryer. Tucked it in your face. Yes. Fuck it now. Well, we're running out of time. I don't know. You are, because you want to get on for dinner, did you?

I could do this for hours. No, you're probably, you probably do it home. What's your reckon manual, Pallagrini? Stitter mines, like at the minute. Oh, he's indifferent to the whole lot. He couldn't give a shit, could he? I mean, look at that air cut. It's magnificent.

He's thinking, I'm better than this. Yeah, look at my hair. I'm off at the end of the season. Yeah, like I give a shit, single shit. What's your reckon he's doing? Day at the day. Because he's obviously not doing anything constructively. It's that kind of vibe where you work and your time out at a job.

Yeah. And you don't put any effort into it. Yeah, I'm going to laugh it. All I would say on the other hand is you are right, but there's levels of it. You know, if McLaren was seeing out his time, yeah, he'd do nothing except bake or something. But I do think Pelagrrine has got a bit of integrity.

Yeah. I think so, yeah. He's 66. He must have more than me. He's 66. He's 66 that man. He must have more integrity than me. Because if I was him, I'd be burying bugs

or prawns under the floorboards and that. Well, why was this? Just as a good buy. Just to leave a bit of a. A bit of a stain. Soreness for them the world the world's biggest popper done yeah would you go and say that be on the standings not that far away it's not big journey you're and you're on the

more aware if it's within an hour no literally you're going down the air one little sign like you're getting America tea coffee world's biggest popper done of course I would you that's interesting though, of course I would. Yeah. I think we should do a crowd funder to build the world's biggest pot with them. Well, would we have it though? I think it needs to be easy, at least a air roll, that's right in the middle of the country.

M1 somewhere. Do you know the air one? You know what you got? The air one is an adult bookshop. There is, isn't there? There's more than one. Well, like, they've got a- Because they used an adult bookshop. There is, isn't there? There's more than one? Well, it's, they've got a-

Because they used to be little chefs and now they're bongo stores. Yeah, well now they're, they've got to be going underground, right? What, the bongo stores? Yeah, with the internet, no? That stuff sells forever, that sort of thing. Well, maybe you were- For a businessman, pulling over. Well, they could just put the computer on, couldn't they?

Did they really need the stuff from the A1 pawn shop? I don't know. Well, anyway, if it's not them, all right, maybe they're going through great, I don't know. So maybe, you know, maybe on one of those temporary pictures by the motorway, like Burger Bars, we just tent off the big popper down here. You can't have people seeing it by the one pair, will there?

OK. And it works just wondering if you fancy crowdfund is I think we should, yeah, I'll have a go at that. Okay, so I look into that. I'll look into Van Gals insanity, young, and I'll look into crowdfund in Papa Don Bigger. Okay, before we go, just wanna mention again, we're on Twitter, we are at Athletic Ormins.

If people wanna try and communicate with us via that medium, they can do that. We're on the iTunes. If you're listening to this on iTunes, subscribe because you might miss out because we might do. We're doing missing out. Yeah, because we might do like little rug ones, like three and a half minute ones that just come up and just take a little squaker that comes out. Little Tommy squaker. Tommy squaker, you know what I'm expecting. I was once, I'm gonna return,

do you want me to return to Faces or to our footballers in flight? I haven't guessed the football yet. Oh come on then. Another three you can have. Premier League? Premier League. God.

White in the kit. White in the kit. White in the kit. White in the kit. Blue in the kit. International. Day and me. No, I've got nothing. Well, you can have a question, can't you? God.

Is he... Is he a kind man? Yes, he does look the reason, becarned, yeah? Is it... Is it not normal? Where, it's, it's only where is the white in the West Am kit? Short in it? No, we're not West Am either. No, we're going to carry this over. It's so obvious what team it is. Oh! What? It's what's his name? Samine Azri. Oh, I don't forget it. I'll give it away for the benefit of the listeners.

It's a new castle player. Black, white and blue. That little blue saddle they've got on. Andy, were you forgetting that? Yeah. Was the blue saddle introduced as a way of gently introducing the one good colours into it? Yeah, that is a way of enriching their fans, I think. Simple as that. It might actually be one man campaign against their fans. So, it's a new castle player. Go on, can't face. I've won, guess. Check to your knee. You think he's got a can face, I've won, guess. Check to your knee.

You think he's got a can face? I think it's quite menacing. It's Carlos Cucca-Geney. He's over here. He's over here. Does it have an adorso that, you know? What, hold your minute? Cucca-Geney. It's not nice, ladies up for a week, that's it.

Well, shall I hold over me, footballer in flight till next time? Yeah, you might as well. Okay. So, did he a jog, but it is bad word. Yeah, got a nice story about him. Right. Yeah.

Mid flight watching Mrs. Doutfire the movie. And the hilarity that ensued. You might as well just tell us now, then. No, I don't go to tell you. Is it a long one? No, because your initial instinct was to censor me and say, you're not interested. Well, I thought you wouldn't get off, I was all.

Well, what time is it? Well, that's of not interest to the people at home. It's time to end this. No, I thought we'd go. Yeah. Can I just ask you one question? Andy Carroll, yes or no? To take him to the Euro.

No, no, just, I want to elaborate. Andy Carroll, yes or no? For me. Yes or no, Bob? Yes. Yes or no Bob? Yes. Well as he sucks at a crack pipe, Bob Mortimer advocates Andy Carro. I also say yes. Thank you very much everyone for listening. If you're interested in helping us achieve the world's biggest pop it on, please get in touch. And anyone who has any information regarding o'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r You can get anything you need with Uber Eats.

Well, almost almost anything. So no, you can't get an ice rink on Uber Eats. But iced tea and ice cream? Yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats! Get almost almost anything. Order now. Product availability may vary by region.

See out for details. But iced tea and ice cream? Yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats! Get almost almost anything. Order now. Product availability may vary by region. See out for details.