Athletico Mince - Reheated Mince Vol. 2

Episode Date: October 2, 2018

Some nice bits from episodes 16-25, including Steve's mercy dash with Casper, Mark's short-lived pest control career, and an encounter with Corbyn that ends in heartache for Bob... Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Music Are you alright, honky, honk? Yeah, alright, Frankyl. He's an initial offer. You've got any information for me this week? Well, you've been in the nail on the end in a sense because I've decided that I'm not completely happy with the names I've been calling you so I'm going to give you a little choice this week.

So you can stick with Ronnie Ottdog. Mr Park and Ride. Nice, isn't it? Buttery Ken. Uh huh. Uh huh. The seed merchant. Oh, that's mysterious.

That's mysterious. A gravitas there. Or just a nice simple John Cup. What was the first one again? Good old Ronnie Ockon. No, no, no, no, Mr Park and Ride. I'd like to be Mr Park and Ride from now on. OK, Mr Park and Ride. Nice to see you.

Thank you very much, honky-tonk. Hey, do you know anything about this game of TIG that's born in London? No, I don't know what you mean. Because I got TIGged on the way in. Yeah. This fella just ran up, was a man. TIGG your it and he ran off. Do you know anything about that? I don't know. Do you want an advice? I mean, I would just... Well, Do you know anything about that? I don't know anything about it. Do you want advice?

I mean I would just I want if you knew anything about it. I want advice, but if you don't then Well my advice is if you want to contribute to the the TIG game right do the same to someone else Oh, see you they pass it on pass it on do that later on and we're back for me train later on What a troubling first thing to say to me do you not know the rules rules are take? I didn't know there was a game going on. it's not up-minute sun. All right. Bright colours, bright fucking lights, sexy ladies in expensive tides, Coca-Cola, Bonofi pie, the kind of party you won't survive. For forest creatures, entry is free, but if you're human, it's 30p. Bright colors, bright fucking lights.

You like? Take your answer. Say let's- Oh fuck, sir, he's tanked us. Bob, that's a millionaire. Yeah. Etc, et cetera, et cetera. When you buy in a birthday present for a pile, who doesn't have as much money as you have, like, see, for example, someone who's birthday

might be next choose here, like for example, see a me. Yeah. Would you get them something simple and cheap so that they don't feel obliged to return the gesture when it's your birthday, or do you put four 50 quid notes in their card and lord it up like a twat?

Um, I just, what was the first option? Sorry. Just summing cheap and simple. Really cheap, really simple. Right, it doesn't matter about that. And as a millionaire, Bob, when you go to the awards ceremonies or the movie premieres at the pictures in London's West End, do you buy the other price sweets in the four year or do you smuggle your owning? So created a way in a hidden compartment of your tuxedo jacket that's been specially created for you by your blind Taylor Slay of who you call your stitch mouse.

I don't have a stitch mouse. Are you trying, is there a new, is there a new anglia that you're trying to suggest I'm tight? Is that what you're saying? Whatever the angle is, is it for me? I just want to know you can just, neither answer the question. It was a simple question. All right. And is the site is a simple answer. Well, I mean, the reality is when I got the cinema by a hot dog in the drink to the movie premieres in the awards ceremony. I don't go. I've never been by a hot dog in a drink. To the movie premieres in the awards ceremony, is it not talking about going to the cinema?

I don't go. I've never been to a movie premier in my life. Really? Really. Next one, come on. Right, okay. Is it true that you were present at the Oldhaman's recent vasectomy reversal operation, along with the other members of the parish council gang, and which was carried out on a massive banquet in Teibal while feasting and frolicing went on all around.

I'm very fond of the Olderman. I do kiss the Olderman. I'm not aware of any such ceremony. No, I was our present at such a ceremony. Did he dance a jig on the banquet in Tehran after the operation and roar? The little Olderman is back on the starting grid. There was no ceremony, there was no special meal, there was no operation on the oldenment that I'm aware of. Thank you Andy. Your silent speaks volumes. So I've done a little bit of observation comedy like about shopping. That's good. Thank you very much. Andy, have you ever noticed when you're in the supermarket? Do you remember supermarket, Sparrowware? Really big shops, remember them? Oh, Andy, have you ever noticed when you're in the supermarket?

Do you remember supermarket, Spaloware? Really big shops, do you remember them? Anywhere. And you choose a tell that's only got one person, but she's got lots of vouchers. Do you remember vouchers? Do you remember vouchers, Andy? Yes, the speakers.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you see, you remember them? So you've enjoyed that. Remembering that. Yeah, it seems just, you see you remember him. So you've enjoyed that. Remembering that. Yeah, it's just the audience. Thank you. Oh, and it's taking forever, but she's got one for brass hand Shiner, right? And she gives it to you because she's seeing you've got a brass hand, right? So you rush off to get the Shiner, you get back in the Q's and massive, gets to your turn, you find out the offers expired,

but you know you've imagined a nice shiny answer, you're a powerful brace. Yeah, you have an artist. Wow, thank you. Hey, hey, hey, hey, have you ever noticed you park it, a supermarket, you remember supermarkets? Yeah. And the car park is empty, but a pensioner comes and parks right by your car. Do you remember pensioners? Yeah.

You enjoy that, aren't you? And it parks right next to you, and you have to squeeze out of your door, and you damage your brass handle on the other car, or at best some of your hand oil smears on the windscreen. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah! Yeah! You have a notice that?

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, I have an artist when you're in a supermarket, you remember them, don't you? Yeah, yeah, yeah, well, you always get the trolley with the squeaky wheel. You know what I mean? Err, err, err, err, err, err, err. Then you realise it's not the wheel but it's your brass hand and it needs oiling and they don't sell brass lubricants. You're not a sass. Yeah, you didn't let that one. You just didn't let the snow reel. Oh, you, oh, right. I find with it. I see you're annoyed with the supermarket.

Yeah. All right, well, that's good. That's a bit, that's quite supportive with it. What's your annoyed with the supermarket? Yeah. All right, well, that's good. That's quite supportive of it. Put your off your back a bit, but didn't that because you got a bit derailed. Yeah, I'm sorry. Hey, what's the difference between a hip or an a zippo? I'll tell you, one's heavy, the other's a little lighter. Ah! Ah!

Ah! That's good. Ah! Yeah, I'll tell you all right. Here's a question for you, right? And like a brain teaser, Mary as 24 cupcakes, she eats four between 9 and 11, right? A total of 13 between 9 and 3,

and six between 2 and 5 p.m. What does Mary have now? Diabetes! Ha ha! So that's, I've come back in traditional jokes with observation. It's a maths and some off-collate illness humour. Yeah, I hope you enjoyed it. Most of it. I'm going to call that my set.

Right. All right. Well, can I ever go as well? Go on. Prepare some as well. All right, here we go. Hey, now, well, the thing is though, do you remember pop bottles? I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I mean, I've been excited before, hey, have you? Do you like it? Because I'm not that fussed. Do you know what?

I mean, that is gone. I want me, that is. So there's some observational comedy. I got straight in with three bands, bang. So there would be a set, eh? There were, were tights, sometimes I think is best. Get rid of the, the cack, in and out. Yeah. Get the job done.

Yeah, you've got, you've got the jogs laid out and even though you can convince yourself otherwise, you know, four of them are just toads. Yeah, and you could just put them in a dishcloth, wrap them in newspaper. Sort of a little bush, love them in a bush. That was 100% gold on it, black. Start to finish.

And I would put on the back of your DVD, you know, 14-second DVD. Yeah. I think I'd say, you know, a whirlwind of comedy. So a bit like that, yeah. Utterly fantastic. That's a bit like the butter as well, and I'll get that caught from you, put on.

Yeah. Because you've got a bit of clout, haven't you? It blew on me mind there. Absolutely. I feel a bit low now. That's, and you've blown me mine there. Absolutely. I feel a bit low now. That's the, you've lit, because you're down after the high, you know? Yeah.

Yeah. One more question. Is it true that you and the Olderman have started up a private Facebook group called Lips of a Kissing. There's some truth in that, yeah. I thought they might be. What? Well, I've seen it.

Yes, I've walked on your form when you went to the boggale, your rod. Okay, and what, and yes, I've... It's just lots and lots of pictures of close-ups of lips. Yeah. And pictures of various people kissing. Yeah, if you get to kiss the alderman, you can record, you take a photograph and put it on the page, yeah. He's been kissing a lot of people hasn't he, then? Yeah, he'll kiss anyone, they're all doing money.

If it moves, he'll kiss it. Basically, do you know how I mean? Fair enough. Did you know, Ion's a car dealership up in Stockton, Mallory? That's why you're always up in Stockton, I'm always up in Stockton with them because we do charity work together for kids. Duff kids?

Or do Aussie kids? Yeah. Do we offer the do Aussie kids? Cackand kids. Yeah, yeah, dozy kids. Cackandons. Yeah, dozy. Any of them. Boss, I'd. No, no, don't be stupid. Oh, I see. Anyway, so he's got a dealership on the retail park and he asked me to come up to launch a new model that there's flogging. It's like a big vant thing called, I think it's called a sprinter. Have you heard of one that? Let me see. They're called a sprinter. It's the new model out of it. and I was going to cut the ribbon,

get a photo with the alderman for the press and that. Have you been celebrity in everything? Well, you know what I mean. And anyway, so I said, we've done it all. I said, I've got to get a train from Darling to get back. And he said, well, I tell you what, Bob says the alderman. He says, I'll take you. And I'll take you in the new sprinter.

Oh, I'll take you from Stockton, darling. and in the sprinter. I thought, well, that's fair enough. Like he might want a kiss at the end of it. Oh, a bunch of dudes. Probably. That's all right. Fair. You know, why not? Yeah. So we get in the sprinter and about half way there. He pulls off the dual carriageway into a layer by, yeah. Here we go. I think we're here. We got a kiss and tie. Yeah. So I just think her so I just think I will just get it done and I lean over Do you know to have a kiss and that and he says no? How dare you Not in a company vehicle, especially the new sprinter. I think oh Jesus

He seems really he's read in the first and that and everything Then I realize I'm not alone and eat yeah, oh in the back of the sprint You've got the town clerk edisaurial services edd of the parks department all the gang and they start chanting as well Not in the sprinter not in the sprinter So on the sofa so anyway, so it's going on a bit so we get out in the layer by out of the Sprinter and his eyes look down towards the registration number, the old man's eyes, so I read it, it's YM16KTA and they all start, have you guessed it, they all start chanting YMKTAIT. Well, maybe, maybe, maybe, if every the number of times you've met the kiss him, I don't know.

So obviously, I do not know. You got a mischiectrin? I'm going to mischiectrin, I'm going to get back with the journey. So I give him a lovely little kiss actually. Nice, we had a nice kiss. I tested a bit like, do you know those party circle biscuits with the icing on them? Yeah, yeah.

Like, just test it like them. But with, you know, I'm going to get back with the dough. So I give him a lovely little kiss actually. Nice, we had a nice kiss. It tasted a bit like, do you know those parties, party circle biscuits with the icing on? Yeah, yeah. Like it was just tasty like them, but with with pepper, pepperoni pizza, we saw a flare of a sore. So anyways, I got on my train. The only, the last one was the only downside was it's because of kissing the old man. I really fancy some pizza and they don't sell it on the train so Ah, there you go, but what was a beautiful story? Yeah, having said that, you know, let's remember, he got me to them he trying on time

So what do you think of the sprinter? I thought it was really nice, and unreflection I realised why he said not in the sprinter It's company vehicle, brand new vehicle, he's got a flog It's good to have boundaries, isn't it? Yeah, yeah Yeah, he's got a flog. It's good to have boundaries, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. Hey, did you know that flactical mince is the UK's top gas powered podcast now? It isn't, is it gas powered?

It is, yep. Can you back that out, that fact all? It's just something some fella told me earlier on. What, did you read the gas mate or something? I don't know. You said the telly? Oh, well, what's his name? Thanks for telling us.

Kitchen Dennis. Kitchen, oh, is this Kitchen Dennis, was it? Thanks for telling us. Kitchen Dennis. Kitchen Dennis. Oh he's a kitchen Dennis was it. I went fishing this week. Did you? Yeah. Who was that with then? I went with Paul Whitehouse. Oh I. You know. Yeah. So to you sir. I don't know Paul Whitehouse because I'm not a millionaire celebrity but so we stood on the bank there. Yeah Paul saying so to you sir. Is that why this week's podcast? Copperdeer's lit as it. Yeah it Paul saying suits you sir. Is that why this week's podcast cup of dizzle is it? Yes, one of the reasons. And me, Shelton, you wouldn't let it lie. Yeah. At the fish. No, I just ate other. Right. And there's laughter, then I'm doing another one. Yeah.

I can't think of that way. Then you realise you've forgotten your fishing gear. It was just two men standing on the side of the riverbank. Two very... Shelton out the catchphrase at each other. Two very old men as well, tell you, Steve, difficult week for him right? So for about a year now he's had a problem with his shoulder, right? Maybe a torn tendon, something like that. And it's made it very difficult for him to carry cusp, but on his neck like he likes to. But he still does, but he's felt the pain. So he went to the doctor takes his top doctor take your top top off and there there's like this sort of acne poxy sort of rash on the back of his shoulder and the doctor examines it then starts

poking at it with his teaspoon and then he like what he does he just like prizes the whole lot off and it is just like a player to snag sick and accumulation that's crisped like on crispy on his skin and he just thought it was skin yeah he just thought he got you know and so the doctor says well I'm both of them laughed so he's bloody caster and it's dribbling out of him when he's on the neck so well that's good but the problem is that that's obviously not the cause of your problem. It's probably some internal, as I say, out of tendon or whatever. So Steve just as he's getting his blood pressured on the neck starts explaining that he's out of a job at the moment. The casp is really not very well and the fat lass is getting really nasty because he's

around the house so much and that. She says to the doctor she's even threatened to make him choose between her and the snake because you know of all the spew that it's lopping into a stuff, her other sacks, DMs, a fleeces and her leggings and now getting spew stairs on them. You know, Steve spent nearly 1,000 pounds on a pair of like purple sort of satin, Jimmy, Jimmy, tube shoes, trying to keep her off his back. You know, he's satin, Jimmy Choup shoes, trying to keep her off his back. You know what's getting to that?

I need to tell the doctor that. Well, she likes, well, she wears DMs, or why would she wanna wear DMs? She wears DMs more tonight, which is down the social club and that, but if there's a wedding, something like that. She's got Jimmy Choups on. Yeah, put them on, she can't walk in a mandy, really.

To be honest with you. She keeps a pair of flats in her bag for the end of the night. Doctor realises, he's Prest, that's the problem. So he gives him some happy pills. Mustn't take him well and empty stomach tape, my glass of milk, whatever. Lobster toe down. And he's happy as Larry, he's at home singing his song Convoy. I can't have a brand new Convoy. Larry is at home singing his song Convoy. I can't have a brand new Convoy. Oh, that watching the cartoons, yeah, even puts his Even because he hadn't done it for ages. He even went in the garage started up his clown car Anyway, the only thing that's still making him feel a bit sad is Casper, it seems really down in the dumps. Steve even, well two days before this,

Steve had to even caught him caught Casper eating like well like sort of chewing at one of his own tards. That's not good stuff. It's awful, isn't it? So Steve, what he does, does have to Steve really crushes one of his happy pulls up and puts it inside a mouse for Casper. Yeah. You know, see if it takes. It has stands to reason. It makes sense. I'll think you've heard of it. It's made Steve feel better. Yeah. Yeah. I wouldn't work with Casper. So a kitchen pretty quick and Casper starts dancing like dancing on the kitchen floor, you know, like spiraling and zigzagging across the black and white tiles, you know. That's good.

You're bouncing off the kitchen units, like in the S shape and. Yeah. Unfortunately for Casper, the fat lass is trying to cook a big pot of beans at the same time. Casper bangs right into her legs. Yeah. She turns around and like she gets,

she's looking down, she can see him dying about on the checked tiles. Yeah, it's flash of colour in a black and white, a black and white. She starts feeling a bit nauseous and realises she's gonna she's gonna go into a fit, you know, because of all the strobing with Casper bouncing around, but kitchen strobins are worse. So she can't lock away and she's heading for a fit. So a bless her. She's boots, cusp, a full force, harder she can. And he goes straight on the air. He ricochets off the kitchen island. Yeah. Smashes into the Venetian blind on the window, then he just drops down like a saccharid onto the surface. He's just lifeless. Fuck.

Fucking hell. Casper, I love you, we were touch tight every night. Casper, I miss you, you were there when I bought the waffle maker. Oh Casper, there is a piece of sick that you left behind on the kitchen blind and every time I see it a tear falls on the kitchen floor Where you danced like a trubertor Casper, I'll remember you for the good times Not just the spew

Casper, we'll meet again and we'll be touch tight In the afterlife Casper, I loved you. I'm going to be rude as I always am and say look I left last week's podcast I left Casper lifeless on a kitchen surface having been booted by the fat lass. I would have left that little dinner there. Would you, well I'm, I'm, I'm just going to say do you want it? Do you want your, can I just say for, just for people that it's 50, 50, but you want

to, you want the full of story. No, let's have it now. Let's put people at their misery. Oh, you sure? Yeah. It's good. It's good. He's alive, but he's in a critical condition. I've just got off the phone from his source at the veterinary hospital where he's been treated, right?

Yeah. So let's go back to last week's events. Yeah, we left him on the kitchen surface just as the fat lass was going into a spasm or a fit. Yeah, she would have been in it. Put him across the floor, didn't she? Right, well, she managed to shout, STAY ABOUT ME!

So of course, Steve runs into the kitchen, assuming she shits her neckas and wants him to wiper with the dirty dishcloth, yeah? You immediately say she's fully clad in a towel and in that, and struggling with a balance, so he puts his arms around her. It's all right, love, calm down. It's just one of them, you know, one of your daft fits because of your hemoglobin content, you know.

I'll say, I'll get your glass of salted water, bring your blood pressure up and your sugar lump and cares its hypercocamia. He's really got his really calm state. He's a very care and man, isn't he? Yes, so he sits down. That comes across in his management style, I think. Yeah, he's got a hair island. He's an arm around the shoulder manager instead of a hairdryer manager. Exactly. So, sit down, she's dribbling a bit and not thinking because he's got it in his

hand. He wipes a mouth with the dishcloth, you know, leaves a little bit of cack on her lips, but she doesn't say so. Well, I'm just saying, people want to know what happened, but Steve does notice something. He knows, he says, the lifeless Casper on the kitchen surface, yeah. Now, immediately he knows that's unusual because Casper isn't allowed on the kitchen surfaces

because of his spewing and that, yeah. And let's be honest, you can't climb up, can he? Unless the fat lass has got her bandages and leggings and that's drying on the clothes horse in front of the cabin. He can get up there. So he goes over what are you doing up there Casper you silly plunker Rodney and he picks him up but he's cold and he should be and he's not moving at all it's's just like a dead weight, you know God Casper Casper what what's happened? Oh my God Casper he puts his ear to Casper's chest, right?

Because he thinks maybe he can hear a heartbeat But it's really difficult because the fat lass his foot is twitching and kicking the bacon trays that are slotted in a gap between the cabinets Yeah, sorry to start ding ding ding ding ding ding and he's also she's got Chris Evans on the radio in the bacon trays that are slotted in a gap between the cabinets. It's very distracting. And he's also, she's got Chris Evans on the radio, who's making that monkey noises. That's just distracting as well. Yeah, so much to do with that. When's the wacky wildlife club he does or something? So, Steve's speaking, I really realise this is something really wrong here.

All he can think to do is, because he's got to get a call, is to run him under the hot tap, yeah, see if that helps. Turns the hot tap on as soon as he turns it on he realizes it's far too hot. Is it one of them boiler taps? No, it's not boiler tap for that. But the fat less has been washing the bandages, yeah, so it's really running hot. Sorry, Kasper, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but he swears, he saw a tiny little movement round his neck like a little swallower. Kasper, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. But he swears he saw a tiny little movement round his neck like a little swallow. Kasper, you're a liby-shout.

Hang on in there and I'll get you to hospital. He wraps Kasper on his neck and he shakes, shakes fat. And that's love, love. I've got to say Kasper to the hospital. We're the car keys, but she's not responding, yeah? I'm not at all just keeping them kicking the bacon trays. So he looks for his keys, can't find them. Like fuck it, he thinks I'll take the clowns car remember he was he would eat that at the

clowns car never goes out no he says I have to take the clowns and everything gets at the garage go take the clowns car typical circus clowns car you know like slightly square wheels yellow and red bright colours big horn on the front yes so he's honks the horn all the way down the wet's about to mile away, hunks it all up. Caspers not well, out the way, Caspers not well, and all the people on the pavement are singing as he goes back. As he goes back there saying, he's got a hair island. Right, so anyway then, Stephen steering wheel comes off at the light so put your back in Smoking out the ass under the car when he arrives at the vet's doors fall off Steve hardly notices

He rushes in he plunks Casper down on reception Yeah, and he says straight. So please, please help me something's wrong I've just found him like this on the kitchen surface next to the home pride playing flower jar. Well that was information he didn't need to get away with it. I'm not really planning to just saw him out somehow. Just to show him out. Now allow him. And the vets at reception and Vets immediately picks him up as he does saw Andy. Little bit of spew. Troubles out of castes. Sign of life. Steve can't help but pour a big smile on. That's my Casper. Come on Casper you got to fight. Yeah, Vett takes him straight into a surgery with the nurse and as they do the Vett says over

his shoulder looks like he's been kicked or hit with something blunt he's bleeding. He realizes Andre's breath says you bastard, you large bastard. He says, you bastard. You large bastard. You say Steve's put two until together. Yeah. You know what? She was kicking. Yeah, he knocked in the kitchen all night.

He knocked what's happened. And I'll tell you next week what happens, because that's a slightly separate story. But it always goes off between them. But as we speak, he's under supervision, in intensive care, basically soft tissue trauma, internal bleeding, and a burst internal abscess as well. It's a scandal, man.

Yeah. Listeners, Andy, it's basically 50, 50. You know, this reminds me of 1981 when Roy Riss of Roy the Roovers got shot. Really? And they dragged that out for a few weeks as well. So I've got that out the way we can crack up. Well I'm pleased because everyone's gonna be really worried about that. We're not at the end of the story at OE. We're not out of the tunnel. I don't like this. It's catastrophe, piled up on disaster, piled up on trauma. Yeah, you know. I don't mind the sound of that internal I obsess on, just saying, I'm just saying. Mark Lawrenceson and I have had such a lucky break this week. I've found someone who have got a contact who can give me a legosip on Mark Lawrenceson.

Oh! So, there you go. It's up at then. What do you know? I don't know if you know. I actually knew, did you know that he's got a real passion for pest control, Mark? You don't know that? No, I don't know the football machine. He loves it.

One of his brothers in pest control, and he always thinks I wish I had done it anyway. So, Michael Owen for a new mob, and asked if he would come over and do a pest check on his new restaurant in Manchester for it was opening for a press night. So, beautiful, Michael Owen, you know the footballer. Yeah. But he got all George and building. He used to be part of the Zoe in Manchester, I think. a'r pwyb yn ymwch i'r pwyb yn ymwch i'r pwyb yn ymwch i'r pwyb yn ymwch i'r pwyb yn ymwch i'r pwyb yn ymwch i'r pwyb yn ymwch i'r pwyb yn ymwch i'r pwyb yn ymwch i'r pwyb yn ymwch i'r pwyb yn ymwch i'r pwyb yn ymwch i'r pwyb yn ymwch i'r pwyb yn ymwch i'r pwyb yn ymwch i'r pwyb yn ymwch i'r pwyb yn ymwch i'r pwyb yn ymwch i'r pwyb yn ymwch i'r pwyb yn ymwch i'r pwyb yn ymwch i'r pwyb yn ymwch i'r pwyb yn ymwch i'r pwyb yn ymwch i'r pwyb yn ymwch i'r pwyb yn ymwch i'r pwyb yn ymwch i'r pwyb yn ymwch i'r pwyb yn ymwch i'r pwyb yn ymwch i'r pwyb yn ymwch i'r pwyb yn ymwch i'r pwyb yn ymwch i'r pwyb yn ymwch i'r pwyb yn ymwch i'r pwyb yn ymwch i'r pwyb yn ymwch i'r pwyb yn ymwch i'r pwyb yn ymwch i'r pwyb yn ymwch i'r p Exactly. So Mark turns up with his kit, he's got traps, sprays, sticky sheets, you know. Yeah. Do you have sticky sheets sometimes?

Waffenry? And do you have the... At this time of year, yeah. Goggles gloves that go right up to your neck, all the good pest controller kit, right? He went into the kitchen, some man area to look for, and he turns on the lights, it's dark in there. As he just as he went in, he thought he saw massive blocks, big blocks scuttle off through the fire exes, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, ants, mice, droppings, all that stuff. The only things he found a little bit of thick brown hair, quite a lot of dirty footprints, which it's not his own environment, an elf thing, but he thought he'd tell Michael. What size were the footprints? A boot footprints. That's what I was, yeah. A human boot. One thing, just near the door, a great big pile of quite dark Todd, yeah? A bit of blood was...

Stopping it, a bit of... A bit of flusby testicles, a bit of blood was smeared on the floor. Probably that's the homeless blog, eh, reckon. But the thing is, is food-wise, past-wise. Sorry, food-wise, I tell you the only thing saw, there was an open jar, honey on one of the surfaces should have been... Hang on, hang on, well, just stop you there. So, a lorison is just turned in a blind eye, the presence of homeless Todd.

Yeah, I'm so honest. Well, he's just delin' in pets. Pest wise, he was able to give it 100% clean bill of house. Yeah, but he told... He even mentioned the Todd. No, he told, cos he told Michael about the honey being left out and the footprints of house, yeah. But he told, he even mentioned the toilet. No, he told, he told Michael about the phone he been left out and the footprints, the blood and all that.

So there haven't a little chat, he's giving it the old clear. So there's what says to Michael, what you call in this restaurant, see the sign writers area. And he says, mose, you know, like MOS mose, you know, because it M and O was same as his name, like Michael in this place.

Good that. And Mark says, hey, Michael, don't do it, right? Because for one, it's like the bar in the Simpsons. And that's fun, but it's a really serious restaurant this, do you know what I mean? Yeah. It'd be the wrong vibe.

And second, I'm a bit worried it's like a short form of motherfucking or mole. Do you know what I mean? I like mole four. Yeah, but he says I don't like that, Michael. Did Mark Lawrence and say mother fucker? Oh, well he did, yeah, he's a Michael Lawrence. Where's, don't worry about it.

Mother fucker. Yeah. Sounds a little bit like a mother fucker, Michael. You shouldn't be doing new, Mark. Mark, Lawrence and stories. I didn't know. So anyway, he says, Mark, Michael says, shit, I don't know, Mark, it's a bit late in the day. Mae'n gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r tegrety, sy'n gael, a'r mewn sifysdich. Ym gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw'n gael, yw Kunde, Ken Moly, Reserodic, you're all there. Ken Louch?

You want there, couldn't make it. Michael stands in front of the big restaurant window, Ready Own Verla Curtain, you know. And he goes, ladies and gentlemen, my restaurant stands for Inspiration, Sophistication, Integrity and Style. So here goes, I pronounce the restaurant open. a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r ffysdich a'r gweithio'r gweithio, a cymryd y cymryd y fflusion. No, mae'r cymryd ymwyr. Mae'r cymryd ymwyr, sdyl yn yng Nghymru, ac mae'r cymryd ymwyr, ac mae'r cymryd ymwyr, ac mae'r cymryd ymwyr, ac mae'r cymryd ymwyr, ac mae'r cymryd ymwyr, ac mae'r cymryd ymwyr, ac mae'r cymryd ymwyr, ac mae'r cymryd ymwyr, ac mae'r cymryd ymwyr, ac mae'r cymryd ymwyr, ac mae'r cymryd ymwyr, ac mae'r cymryd ymwyr, ac mae'r cymryd ymwyr, ac mae'r cymryd ymwyr, ac mae'r cymryd ymwyr, ac mae'r cymryd ymwyr, ac mae'r cymryd ymwyr, ac mae'r cymryd ymwyr, ac mae'r cymryd ymwyr, ac mae'r cymryd ymwyr, ac mae'r cymryd ymwyr, ac mae'r cymryd ymwyr, ac mae'r cymryd ymwyr, ac mae'r cymryd ymwyr, ac mae'r cymryd ymwyr, ac mae'r cymryd ymwyr, ac mae'r cymryd ymwyr, ac mae'r cymry, ac mae'r cym lifts the air and then runs straight at Garibalo and punches him in his tits before disappearing into the back streets of Dizbury, Dizbury saw, think about it. You did mention that the restaurant was situated on a former part of Manchester Zoo.

That's right, and what we've got there is a remnant. If you think about it, the big pala black tard, the honey, if you remember the whole thing. I'm a telltaleer, signs were there, weren't they? So Marks messed up big time. What he's done, he's looked at the detail, the droppings and stuff, and not the bigger picture. It should have been obvious, shouldn't it? Eh?

The brown hair, the honey. He's a massive oversight, he missed it all. He thinks he's a pest expert in the animal, you know, kingdom. And he's just dropped a massive bollocks. He's Mr. Fucking Bear. So a terrible night for Michael and for all the Manchester restaurant clank lately.

And for Mark's reputation. Yeah, so that was interesting. So I hope my contacts will keep providing me with stuff about him. So tell me about Corbin. I've been to another one of his rallies this week. Yeah, quite a local one down in Yarm. Which is where I stayed. My current lives, I believe. Yeah, of course. one down in Yarm, which is where I stayed, my current lives I believe. Yeah, of course, I'll let him be on a little bit of football

isn't it? That's not really relevant. So I'll turn up God down early, down the front in Army Red Gayer, hit the touring red, that shirt, tie, lipstick, all of a sudden. No, you didn't. No, you didn't have lipstick on then, mate. Anyway, down the front, the Corbin comes on, he does a tight 10 minutes about the evils of CC TV on trains. And how footage can be manipulated. You know, go quite into it. Powerpoint thing, but you know, a bit distracted, but never mind. Then the lights are went off and we all sang, when you still tight, I mentioned. That's not simply a red song. Now it sounded, they may may like, Mikhukenol was singing it, but the lights were off, so I couldn't say I'm just seeing them.

It was Corbin just doing a hook and I didn't know the impression. Anyway, time for a break, so Annette Brown, the back, get a fag. Any comes out the fire exit, there he is, Corbin. It stands next to me, lights up. He's got a rule up this week, he's pipe not a pipe this week so he says senior you say senior down the front senior fancy yourself don't you attitude that do so you know I says a little bit yeah and he points at me read Roseette that I've got on. He says, Official Rose, is it? I'm not sure I've had it for ages, you know I've not worn it at an official party event for years though. He says, I'm not sure, I thought it was much.

Thought it looked a little bit weathered. Sorry, should I get a new one? You know, is there any official ones that you can set me up with? I have a merchandising operation. I could get you a one reduced price if you'd be interested. So I said, wow, yeah, great. Thanks. You know, if there's anything I can do in return, you know, to help with your election. Yeah. Let us know, because I'm becoming a serious convert to the to the Corbinister cause. And he says, well, there might be one thing you could help me with. Where it comes. So he pulls his tab out of his mouth. And he's bottom lip slowly parts from the top one.

He reaches across and he just brushes me raw set with the back of his hand. Oh, he up. Is this in a? And he says, he says, it gets lonely on the campaign trail, you know? I'm always on the road and I start to miss Mrs Corbin when it's almost bedtime. I can imagine that, yeah, yeah.

So he says, do you think you could possibly proper a small kiss? Who is a kisser? To alleviate my emotional turbulence. And I thought, well, you know, given what you and the older may get up to, you know, it's legitimized. You know, bad looking fellas, but.

And I've started become quite a fan over the past few weeks. I thought, you know, a little kiss, not gonna hurt. No, I mean, no. I moved, moved me mouth, slowly towards his, and I just felt me chingrires against his big head as we got closer.

Just as we're about to kiss and there's a bang and I jump back. Someone's booted the fire exit. Yeah. And this voice goes, no, Andrew, no! Not during a democratic electoral process, Andrew! Jeremy, back inside and address your followers at once Fuck. No, you're saying it is. It's the old man. Fuck off. It's your old man What you mean arm under? I mean arm. Well, it's your patch. He wouldn't give a shit if you were having a case

Well, I was it what you what I don't understand. Well, I don't know It happened what you've been sniffing around the old man. No, I'm sniffing around carbon, I've got nothing... No, nothing with the aldermen. So what happened then then? Did you... Well, did you... Any... Well, carbon goes back in. Don't get upset. How do you...

Just let us explain. Yeah. Jesus. Right, so the aldermen's still there. Corbin's gone back in. And I'm panic, and I'm saying, sorry, don't have any major involvement at the constituency level, I'm not up a spade with the etiquette, you know, there wasn't supposed to happen. And the old man says, I can teach you all about

the etiquette Andrew, especially as I'm not standing for office myself. I thought, well, that's the opportunity to learn something's a good thing, that'll be wonderful. And he says, now, it looks to me as though you're in possession of a pair of lips that just thought they were about to be kissed. Come over to me Andrew. You did. Come now. You better not have. And he he he cupped his hands around me face. No, never. And just gently brushed his lips against mine. Oh, is there fun? And just held them there for a couple of seconds and then pulled away. And honest Jesus, Bob, you kissed him. You kissed him. Me entire body turned the jelly. No, I'm not I'm not happy with this, Andy. I felt as though he's nothing to do

with you, the old man. No, I'm off. Sorry. No, it's upsetting that. No, but, Bob. Bob! It's fall and you can get anything you need with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get a maple tree on Uber Eats, but maple syrup and maple lattes? Yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats. Get almost, almost anything. Order now. Product availability may vary by region.

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