Athletico Mince - Reheated Mince Vol. 5

Episode Date: November 9, 2018

Some nice stuff from the middle of 2017. The White Harts go on holiday, there’s some number awareness, the Barry/Landlord split, a bit of Vince, a bit of Morrissey, South Africa and a poignant duet��� Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Music Andy, Andy, that is better than the side because it's a little bit more hopeful, a little bit more joyous, do you know what I mean? But I've moved on since there, right? You feel me, you know what I mean? Really? So, I was wondering this week about the sounds of the traveling salesman, right?

You know, loading his samples into the boot, maybe wallpaper, the purse, the mask, the pan and towels or whatever. So think about, let's try a few of those. First up, give me the clatter of his diesel engine on start up as he leaves his car.

The sack bound for Peter Brennan. No. No, I won't. No. All right. The hum of the hand dryer, hold on here it through. The hum of the hand dryer at the services when he stops for the ginsers.

Is it a good had dryer or is it a substandard handryer? Because there's no worse than a substandard handryer. It's a substandard because it's a service. Is it going to do that noise? That was a little bit like a distant ship leaving port, which I like, which I like to have a new life on the desert island. What's that someone dying in the house? Death throttle, isn't it? The death throttle.

The slam of his car door, right, as he's turned away from yet another light industrial unit on the Alpscouts of Brentree. Bang. Bang. Yeah, it's a bit ominous, that's who you as well. I'll tell you what, I'll stick with your clown one, do it again. T-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh,

all right, welcome to Athletic Commons. I see you've got your purple dungarees on today, Bob. Yeah, because it's play time. I just come from a meat and a sea, babies or something. Ha ha. That's not about, no, I haven't. It's the look. And no else, no, no underneath. Yeah, I've got to do it. Like you've just been removed from the set of a dexies midnight runners video. Why are you surprised? I'm, I'm, I'm angry. So you're like, well, you're wearing a red t-shirt.

Yeah. That says, I am trapped on it. So, yeah. So I feel, and you've got your digital watch on with the calculator and it as well. Yeah, it's very proof useful from time. Is that a J.K. or something? Was it a telly and a word of that? No, top gear. Top gear magazine. It's very proof useful from time. Is that a JQ or something? Was it a telly and a word of that as well?

No, a top gear magazine. Top gear magazine about that from. But listen up Andy, it is really sweating in this studio. It's not six foot by eight foot. Are you gonna get in a sweat on and stinking and that? Probably build it by the time we finish. Yeah, I'm not gonna be able to. I mean, the linda wipes are something.

I haven't. Hey, if I need to go to the toilet during this, what's the procedure? Do I put me hand up? Yeah, put your hand up. Just put me hand up. Can I interrupt you during a sentence if I really need to go I'll find myself. That would be good. No, one hand up if you need a way, wait, two hands if you need a Todd. Right. All right. Did you say that fella in Sondland that was in the news this week? Todd, the Todd, the Todd, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, early morning. Yeah, but and that photograph of him on CCTV where he looks is that like someone who's just realises the CCTV camera looking at him after he's totted in a lift. Yeah, but they've

arrested him. Have they? Do you know his name is? No, Todd. No, he's not. Todd machine. No, it's not. There's no, it's not anything. I'll tell you what though. A morning Todd, if he did him in the morning, is always a loose Todd our fan than an evening, depends what though, a morning Todd, if he did him in the morning, is always a looser Todd our fan than an evening, depends what you're evening. Todd, don't worry. No, I just think they're looser in the morning. A bit tight, rehabberts. Hey, talking about, you know what we talked about traveling in Celsman.

That's what my dad did for a living. Is it? Foxes Biscuits. Right. I'm just talking about you. That's an easy sell, aren't it, Foxes Biscuits? Well, at the time, it wasn't. You know, this is before the Golden Crunch and the Crane time it wasn't you know they are they this is before

the golden crunch and the crane crunch and them you know which I think that's when foxes biscuits really took off. They were in that pump then weren't they? You know like they do the rocky, the crunch cream, the echo that sort of thing. They also on golden wonder crisps I think. Did they? He always had a lot of crisps in his steak. Right Right. So that would have been something else though. You might have been going to be a side-line moonlight. And yeah, do you have a favour at Fox Biscuit? Do they do shop bread biscuits? They do a shop. Well, do you know Fox invented the sports biscuit?

And then you're up, Andy, I suspect this is going to appeal to you. The party ring. Yeah. And that's a nice biscuit. I love the party ring. Yeah, pink one. One on each finger. Beautiful biscuit. Well, that's Fox's. Yeah. You know, nice. I love a part of your ring. Yeah, pink one on each finger. Beautiful biscuit. Well, that's foxes. So that's that thing. Carof, have you got a name for us? Yeah, Mickey Dresskulls, your first choice. Right. Which is costume Western fan. Yeah. Yeah. Forty-toe still lives with his man. He only speaks to one Friday's when they do the big shop

together. Yeah. It's a resonant really so far. Twenty-six stone. Right. He's on the disability for his bad back. Yeah. Yeah Right. He's on the disability for his bad back. Yep. And he's written the word trapped in bio on his tracksuit buttons. Do you like the sound of them? I'm liking them. Paul Silverton.

Yeah. Not his real name. Sounds like a go getter. His real name's Johnny Mangor. Right. He's got bleach splonsored part in. Beerva Tan, powder blue v-neck, white skinny jeans and humbot boots, right?

He gets a right knack on when he's pissed, yeah? And he flogs the odd Ritlin pillie in there that he nicked off the stepkids. Do you like it? He sounds like a bastard. All right, you know what I mean, then. He doesn't say what I'm saying. All right, I just say he sounds like a bastard.

He damn Keith. He's a small spherical head with a red first Edam Keith, he's a small, spherical head with a red first in yellow teeth. He's a bite, yeah. Usually found in the book, he's by the red lion or on Lafayette Street in Paris. He's famous for talking, he's slacks in his own book boats.

And he has one of those machines that shaggy with a shed. So, is it A-Dam Kays, little bastard Paul Silver, or Mickey Dresskel, put it in my shirt? I've got to be a top-case, I'm a fritt. A-Dam Kays? Uh-huh, I'm sorry, to everyone who's listening to this, but yeah, I'm going to be a Dam Kays. Alright.

I'm just back from holiday, and really? Are you? Yes. Have you been Bob? I've been to the Forte village in Sardinia. Oh! Now that is, I've got to be honest, it is posh posh posh, right? It's like the poshest butlins on earth. Did you say anyone famous when you were there?

It's full of celebrities. It's, for the first time I went there, I didn't go in like the celebrity end of it. The first time I went there, like the't go in like the celebrity end of it. The first time I went there, like the football courses for the kids will be run by, get this. Did he a drogber? Not honestly. And Perlo. Wow. So it's right up there.

Okay. They get free-rollers and that's full of footballers. Mainly Italian ones, but as you'll see see there's some British there because this Andrew is an episode of GANGS OF THE E-P-L. Right, so the really, really posh bit as it's on Swim and Pull and a little private beach. And that's where I'm staying, you see. It's always the footballers are there and lots of like Russian mafia types just ignoring the kids, you know. Yeah. And it's, it's, you like, it sounds like my kids school somewhere fair.

Well, it's a bit like poor adventurer, but it just really pops all like... Morning everywhere. When you have your buffet, you go part adventure or where do you go? That around that way, yeah. And it's buffet, isn't it? Yeah, only can I, yeah, only can I. But where you go, it's like nuggets and chips.

I'm just saying, it's nuggets and chips. No, wrong way. No, but that's what it is, isn't it? That's what it is, yeah. But at this place, genuinely, it's like lobsters, snorkels, langoustines, fanace jambons, cheeses, wines, much is it, you know, it's an piano player playing and he stops, as you reach one of the lobsters,

the music stops. And then as you put it on your plate, it starts up again. That's up again. Yeah, so anyway, so I'm just saying, it's posh posh posh, you know what I mean. Anyway, my kids go straight off to water sports area like they do when I go to the VIP pool, yeah? At one end there's a little kiosk selling drinks, little cute,

little all the worldy little kiosk, you know, selling drinks and little ice creams, little snacks and I hear a very familiar voice, quite loud. It's Harry Kane. Well that's very upsetting. I very much wanted a lemon and lime sprite. And you tell me you just saw the last one. I came here to relax and recuperate. Sorry, relax and recuperate.

And to be honest, I feel quite frustrated and down in the dumps. It's Gary, he's wearing a spurs kit, right? With a white and aeval captain's hat. It's just fun. It's a lads-on holiday, isn't it? Debbie Ali walks in with his failure for Oshus Heteeshire. He's got these candy stripes shorts with LED lights on into the hem. Bright orange flip flops with gold straps and an LED watch embedded in the sole. He's got a disco ball-based, yeah, and a tiger skin man bag in the shape of a pistol So he's dressed up for his holiday right nice Eric Dyer walks in he's wearing a jumper and some slacks So what was it?

So Aris, just give me a tomato juice. I'm too jittery now to take on anything fizzy Debbie says what's the matter boss? You seem a bit down in the dumps and out of sorts like you was hurting. Erick says, yes you seem dejected like a grieving bull. It's nothing guys. Just someone got the last lemon and land pop. Let's not dwell on it. It's our holidays. Come on, let's start feeling some foolishness, hate. So the three sun lounges just in front of me right I keep me first hidden by holding my hands and wrists in front of my face so they can't see me are you conspicuous? yeah Eric starts playing fucking fruit ninja or some such shite on his forehead no I mean Ari takes a shirt off I think oh they're gonna relax Debbie will you up some

sun cream on my back? My mum said I have the type of skin that burns and some cream acts as a barrier to the very bad rays. Debbie says, yes of course boss, some sunburn can be very disagreeable. Some people say it's worse than the skull from a hot tap which is very frightening and self-setting thought. So Debbie starts applying the cream. Harry says,

you will need to put plenty on my chin. It often juts out from under the shadow of my cap on the sunbrolley. Mum said that once when I was young, the tip of my chin actually set on fire, which was very inconvenient. It was poking out of the sunroof. It was poking out of the sunroof on our car when I was asleep on the back seat. Derby says, that story has really rattled me. What a crummy thing to happen. To be honest Harry, your mum is not entirely innocent. What was she thinking ignoring you for so long? Did you chin set on fire?

Then they are a big splash and commotion in the pool it's Santa Cazola doing a dive bonk. Hey guys it's me Santy come on in it's a pool party I got lilos inflatable drink holders crazy fucking straws beach balls it's an unbelievable opportunity. Harry says good-d ignore him. He clearly knows nothing about pool safety and I can even see from here that his bronchosaurus ring is very overinflated. Debbie says, what an idiot. Look at him splashing damp water. Does he not realize it has chlorine in it and that can cause irritation to the eyes which are to evital for your sight. Eric says, can I play with Suntie, please? No, you cannot, young man, he's a picky gooner.

And as such, he's the personable non-gratest. Eric says, but Debbie, no, it's no but, Eric. Have you not even seen the film sleeping with the enemy? Then Ari spots Phil Jones, you know, from Man United, on his own at the other end of the pool and he's drinking a lemon and lime sprite and he beckons him over. Ari says, Philip, would you like to play with Eric? Philip says, yes please.

Eric, would you like to play with Philip? Yes please. Philip says to Eric, what game? What, how does he speak? Oh Philip, yeah. It's Charlie, well says to Eric what game it was on what how does he speak? Oh Philip. Yeah, it's Charlie. Well, he was what game? Uh, all right.

Do what game what what game it you play? That's it. Fruit Ninja. Do you want to game? Yes, please. So, Debbie says, would you like to swap your green drink for a bright red super drink? Yes, please.

Says Philip. How do you think? Very well-mannered. Nice one, Debbie. That's some first. Just heat your fluid for sure. So Harry gets his green drink because of condom. It's a superstar red drink.

Yeah. So Harry gets his green drink. So that's a nice story, isn't it? Yeah. Don't just say, now it's on a nice story, isn't it? Yeah. Don't just say, now it's on your little story but, where it finishes? Well there's a little poor script because Ari and Debbie went on the beach and left full

and Eric by the pool, right? Santee put Black Member in the tomato juice and Philip ended up in A&E, right? But Andy and this nice, Eric's out with him all night. That's lovely. Because that kind of thing can happen on all of the, it could be a bit intimidating, but that's a good, the new more. Thank you very much.

Did you think it was a bit like any film at all? I'm not even gonna be specific. It was a little bit like sexy based. Sexy based? It is though, isn't it? Yeah, it fucking is. Yeah. So, this is the Swimpool.

Listen, can you think of a number for maybe train one and 40 don't tell me what it is I've done it 21 and 40 now double it. Yep. No subtract 15. Oh, that's quite hard, but I've done it Don't tell me your number. I haven't now tell me your your number. 25. 25 there. Thanks. I'm just doing some work. It's an ambassador for the government's new number awareness scheme. All right. So, and that's just that there. So, now the world's more aware of the number 25. Yeah. What could it be? It's not lesser aware than it was 30 seconds ago. I think it's just tiny bit more aware. Trip feed. I think people are thinking like,

I am, what do I associate it 25 with? What do you associate 25? Very little at least. A dot board. What? Or for the outer circle. Out of a circle of the bullseye. Yeah, that's a good 25. What do you associate 25 with? 25. Yeah, you lost your virginity. Haha. 925. Yeah. I would have chosen 25. I'm going to stick with it. I'm determined to think of something 25. I saw shit 25. This is why we have the program for the number awareness. You see this is it in action. Have you seen how unaware I am of the number 25? Blame me I feel such a haven. You're going to have to work when I vent, yeah. I'm, hi, Barry, Barry Homoana here, yeah.

Ding dong. Ding dong, you know who's there, don't you? Ding dong. Landlord here. How do you complain from neighbors about the noise you're making when you wee put night? Could you keep it down, yeah, we all have bad days. Ha, here, have this lottery ticket, it's a ten pound win, but I can't be fucking bothered to claim it.

Yeah? Ding dong, landlord here. I've come to do an inspection, mainly for smells, you know, the smell of failure and reduction, renter. Ding dong, landlord here. Just brought you around this brochure on first-time mortgages Thought you could pass it on to someone who can actually fucking afford one Half, half Actually, you know he's a good tip for you and yeah, I own my own home now obviously And I actually sanitize my hot tub with salt tablets rather than chlorine much much gentle or on your skin much Genpher so much gentle or on your skin. I think that's important ding dong landlord here I've decided I want the rent paid by direct debit from now on. I can't risk having a photo of me taken with a renter

Can you imagine at the casino? Renta. Can you imagine at the casino? Ding dong. Landlord here. Hi tenant. I'm collecting for charity. It's called tenant aid. It gives tenants advice on how to blow the brains out. Hey, I tell you one actually. I scratched my dancing cane at the casino the other night. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I scratch my dancing cane. Gonna have to hike up the tenants rents to cover a total re-varnish. Yeah, bad day. Yeah, so that's him, Andy. So very hard water is now bastard landlord as well. Yeah, that's what the hard water is. Yeah, he's changed a bit, aren't he love my home love my wife love my home love my island my kitchen island yeah do Vince pass nips episode of the sitcom all right well what we're calling it was it more

passing lips vicar or dial pee for pass nips cell pee for pass nips dial pee for past nips. I'll pee for past nips. I'll pee for past nips. I'll pee for past nips. The same too. I'll pee for past nips. The same too. The same too. The same too. The same too. The same too. The same too.

The same too. The same too. The same too. The same too. The same too. The same too. The same too. The same too.

The same too. The same too. The same too. The same too. The same too. The same too. The same too. The same too. love see yourself down. I think I'm going to pass out, Marian. Speak to me, Vince. Keep talking. Oh, Twitter. Contactless payments. Damn dear, I must delivery. Pulled pork. Oh, no, Vince, Vince, you've gone on modern. We're there, I'll get something that'll sort you out, try to stay awake, stay with me Vince. Hurry, Marion, I'm slipping away, fit Vince! Drive over as cars!

Pog, I'm on go! Yeah, here, Vince, quick, I was sip from this can of Cresta Pop. Oh, that's frothy, man. Oh, oh Oh, that's frothy man. Oh, yes, that's working. Thanks, Marion. Are you feeling a bit more like yourself, Novince? Oh, thanks for... Do you remember a jog, crisps?

A. Chris, made for actual edjogs and and fries five centers. Do you remember them, eh? And sail in a century when Nicolas Parsons, do you remember it? And the mastermind board game with that fella in the front of the box with a bird and put in colour my lotion on your chicken box and smoking upstairs on the bus and beat him! Marks! Oh Vince would have a scabby like that again. Oh, I'm marrying. I feel so much better. Hey, go put the chip on, love. Let's see if we can set the outside fire.

Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, episode. Yeah. White's questions are ready and they're hard. Bring them in. Here they come. Hello, Andrew. Yep. Is there any way in anywhere in Sunderland that you could buy a luxury item such as a knife and a fork or a towel or an ornament? I'll do the shops there just sell buckets. Argos, that's all I'm going to see here. Yeah, Argos. You've got an Argos. Yeah, there's two Argos.

Argy? Is that the plural of Argos? I was used to think it was amusing to pretend some of the Greek islands were Argos, Tescos. Right. There is another one by by car, remember another super mark. You probably should have deleted that one as well. In your fungalo, Andrew, how do you get rid of the famous Sunderland ants? Once destroyed, do you dry them and sprinkle them on your chicken dip as well? I've mentioned that already Yeah, it's a direct question to you. Oh God, I usually spray them with, what's that stuff called?

Ant killer. No, the treatment stuff. Ant hammers, turning little ant hammers. Oh God, air for airwik. You spray them with fucking airwik. Air spray. Air spray. That's your airwik.

I was almost going to knock that for a gun and. I was almost got a little bit of an air spray. I was almost got a little bit of an air spray. I was almost got a little bit of an air spray. I was almost got a little bit of an air spray. I was almost got a little bit of an air spray. I was almost got a little bit of an air spray. I was almost got a little bit of an air spray. I was almost got a little bit of an air spray. I was almost got a little bit of an air spray.

I was almost got a little bit of an air spray. I was almost got a little bit of an air spray. I was almost got a little bit of an air spray. I was almost got a little bit of an air spray. I was almost got a little bit of an air spray. I was almost got a little bit of an air spray. I was almost got a little bit of an air spray. I was almost got a little bit of an air spray. I was almost got a little bit of an air spray. I was almost got a little bit of an air spray. I was almost got a little bit of an air spray. I was almost got a little bit of an air spray. I was almost got a little bit of an air spray. I was almost got a little bit of an air spray. I was almost got a little bit of an air spray. I was almost got a little bit of an air spray. I was almost got a little bit of an air spray. I was almost got a little bit of an air spray. I was almost got a little bit of an air spray. Conservative technically actually not an injury. Oh, technically and I love Lee and a week it was like a cloud of them and We had ant hammers. Did you have your orange oranges in the orange? Not what an orange. He is I don't know what an orange is, but I know what it isn't But you know what you are final question from the wife or take by the way you were in a rugby kit in honor of What final question from the wife? I already, by the way, you wear a rugby kit in honor of the Lions, so you're big on the

Rugga, are you? Look at the Rugga. Yeah. It could be a Rugga bugger, if you like. Do you like singing all the dirty songs and that's the, and shout at the losses? Yeah. Do you mind if we, you know, get your head in the sound for the lads? I don't.

All of that. I throw them me, paint up in the air and I, I, I, I, some, I catch some of it. Yeah. Sometimes I'm not asked if it hits the floor. Lovely rugby. Do you sometimes go to a rugby disco, say at the rugby club and wear a keel to that poor girl? And dance on the table.

That's off. And then throw up in the car park. Yeah, rugby, rugby, rugby. And I'll fight with my brother. Listen, final question, I'm being rude to him. Why are you really? Is it true that if you go to the butchers in Sunderland and ask for dog bones, that's exactly what you get?

Wounds of a dog. Just ask us question, isn't it? I don't know, I've never analysed the dog bones and I don't ask. You always have something so low price, you never ask where it comes from. Like it's in a hot dog, you don't know that is there. Oh I think't ask. You always put something so low price you never ask where it comes from. Like it's in a hot dog, so you don't know that is there. Oh I think we do. We do, we do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We doogh. Right, whatever. Well, it was like, was that you've had a few, was all I'm fucking have and they, well, it was like like a drew you in because of the size of it. Yeah, obviously, but it was like, can you imagine a balloon that was the shape of a of a octog? Yeah,

you blew it up. Yeah. And you filled it just with water. And then bit into it. Terrible it was. and then bit into it. Terrible it was. I was there in a box, right? In a cardboard box? No, in, you know, that box. An executive area? Yeah, a box. Yeah. Matt Lucas, that box there, went to see the more dropping. Yeah, definitely. I mean, who else have you met? I don't I don't feel I'm names dropping when I say Matt Lucas Do you know I mean by my standards? You're I suppose who's your most famous mate up there? Do you know the bloke who runs the bookies or Jimmy Neil? You know Jimmy. Yeah Yeah, well, I've seen him on the tally. I can't stand it I went for a meeting with Jimmy now once in a root tiny little office in Sorho. Right, a tiny little office.

Yeah, a tiny, he's a big fella as well. It's got to be massive. And did he book the room specifically that size to intimidate you? Well, funnily enough, I do wonder about that. And because it was really small, right? Yeah. A manger was sat one side, one end, I sat, I can't remember the table. And he wanted us to write a sitcom for him about Adrian's wall, yeah. Right. But as soon as we sat down, he put his feet

up on the table, yeah, with his long, jolly leg. Dominic in the space. And these brogs that he had on, but says 14 or something. I thought he only texted 10. You know, I mean, what, 18 inches in front of us. Yeah. And it was, I don't know what would you cut like, intimidate the rock, dominant in the room. Yeah, bro, broggin' to the position. Yeah. So all we could say was the bottom of his feet. Had he drawn faces on them?

We had no luck. It's said you, you shit. One, you're anywhere, look. I've finished my wife's question. Well, I've got some questions from my kids, but before I do that, can we have a little music a little bit? Because I'm sorry to announce that I've been in the studio again.

Great. And I've been on that other thing, Andy. This one is about Fyix Tan, so I'll just play it for you. If you are a man, you need to show how to act. That's why I'm so good at acting. You need to fake a shot. Fake shot. It could come in a bottle. It could come in a spray.

You just flush it all over. I'm so gone on your way Check that out 1012 as my number's here The new skill is all gone and you're behind the view Check that out Needing eyes for you, walk, glory can be right All the outs of hatred, casual very much in that pop. It's too long. What do you think of that, Bob?

You know, I like the end line very much in that book. It's too long. I think we can safely say that I've done it again. Well, you think that's the first, well, whatever you want to call it. Well, I don't know what the end game is with your sparse, Germanic, electro, tales and things. It's purely about making money. How are you going to make money out of that? Well, I could sell them on iTunes, could I?

No, you could sell them. But the key is, I don't know, back in. I get some kind of deal with the fake tan company. I get an advert campaign out of it. I tell you, what am I paying at the stop-fuckin' doing now? Mark Lawrenceson, are you interested? Very much so. Okay, well you'll have to, now you've got to do the lines

for this for me to do, Mark. You do see them and I'll just see them as Mark. Are you sure? Yeah. All right, then, well, Mark's at home, a bar, bro. So that's nice, isn't it? Good to know. Good to know.

He's in the shed using his left to make a new color for the broom handle. You know where it joins the broom head and knee. Yeah. So it was a weakness in a broom in it. Yeah. Very frustrating. Then after he's going to give the, your power clean with his creature. Mm-hmm. Right. I've got to say anything yet.

No, I'll tell you. No, I'll tell you. Barbara comes into the shed with the phone. Barbara says, it's for you, Mark. Mark says, who is it? Mark says who is it? Mark says who is it? Who is it? It's Morrissey. Laura says can you not tell him I'm out by a new wire for the rabbit arch? Can you not tell him I'm out by a new wire for the rabbit, I told him you don't be so rude so yeah, this is the fordler Hello, loro here. Hello, loro here

What is that spawn boys? Yeah 2225 loro here. Okay, so it's more a sea right he says oh I am ah Solid to bother you but I've had a great idea that I think would be right up your street. Matt says oh yeah what is it? Oh yeah what is it? I want to open eye and mongers you know a hardware store. Well Mark Ezritz says I has flick around his shed he sees Barbara just staring at him to the kitchen window. The weeds growing through the concrete on the side, bath, bath, bath, and he replies, yes, or do I? It's always been a dream of mine. Yes, so do I.

It's always been a dream of mine. Great, let's do it then. I've already, oh, I've got a bit of a recurrent now. Great, let's do it then. That's better. I've already figured with panethyst and stockpod, you ordered the stock and let's open in, let's say, first of July of July Laura says it's a deal

or Stephen what shall we call it it's a deal oh Stephen what shall we call it love it's ease I he says I like it I'll see you on the first July I like it I'll see you on the first of July slow says that's what did Morris he? Nothing loved just asking about match tickets. Nothing loved just asking about match tickets. Well, for the next two weeks, Mark spends every, every working hour ordering stock, you know, brackets, pants, tools, wadding buckets, bird feeders, bulbs, weed all the loot.

Yeah, there's a lot of those machines that share gear on the shit you need, you know. So it's a night before the big opening, Mark is sat on the sofa with Barbara watching catfish. Do you watch catfish? I do watch catfish. Because I don't want to get caught out. Ah, you're learning the tricks of the trick.

So do you like to guess what they're going to be at the end? Yeah. What we all do. And what's your usual guess? Big fatlars bin. Anyway, so there was your catfish and the phone rings. It's Morrison. Mods says, how's it going?

Mark says fine, I can't wait for tomorrow. Fine, I can't wait for tomorrow, Stephen. Same here. Mark says, I'm doing a special offer on Belinda wipes. I'm doing a special offer on Belinda wipes. Excellent. Everyone needs Belinda wipes. I'm doing a special offer on Belinda wipes. Excellent, everyone needs Belinda wipes. Then a silence like an awkward silence and moths says, so I was wondering,

it would be nice to have a special guest cut ribbon. Mark says, bit short, no, it's have you anyone in mind? Bit short, no, I said, if you've got anyone in mind. Yeah, I was thinking maybe Ray for Benetus. What Mark says, oh, while I'll try, there's no I'm in asking, isn't it? Oh, well I'll try, there's no I'm in asking, is there? So Mark fourons up, Raffer, it turns out

he's a big fan of the album, Your Arsenal. I don't see you in circles. I was listening to that two days ago. Well, yeah, probably Raffer was there. It's good apart from the racism. Is it the one that starts off with the drums your arsenal because we use the drums from I think it was the first track we used them for bang bang it's reason but anyway so you're so you're greased to do the opening if

morose will sign is a se day of your arsenal right big day arrives mark says I've got a big surprise for you there Barbara I've got a big surprise for you at the Zaird Barbra. I've got a big surprise for you today, Barbara. Oh, what does it, are we getting some new straw for the rabbit? Mark says no, that's not it. No, that's not a Barbara. Oh, we have in a day out at home, Bess. No, I've got into business with Morrissey from the Smiths. No, I've gone into business with Morrissey from the Smiths.

And we're opening a hardware store in Stockport today. And we're opening a hardware store in Stockport today. And we're opening a hardware store in Stockport today? No, I thought that might happen one day. What's it called? You can't use Morrison's. Lorissese, it's brilliant, isn't it? It's a combination of our names. Lorissese, it's brilliant, isn't it? It's a combination of our names. Come on, then, suppose I better go and see it. So, the go to Stockport, there it is.

Corner Plot, dual aspect window display, and you saw that's better go and see it. So the go to Stockport, there is corner plot, dual aspect window display, Andy, so that's nice, isn't it? A simple signage that says, a pretty serious business, but don't worry, not too pricey, you know what I mean. Little crowd weight, few journalists, one of the journalists called Harry Caramel, so that's nice, no, for a kid. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, First to arrive is Raffa. He looks like he's so excited.

Mark, he becomes now Raffa. Oh, he becomes now Raffa. Perfect timing. Paul is not in an American Open Top Cadillac with fiddens and wearing shirts and a cowl by it. It's a morocene, camera start flashing, Audi jumps and he rushes straight at Raffa. Oh hello Raffa, I can't believe it like Raffa Benedist.

The promised most goodly broke on ties and I love you Raffa Benedist. More than I love big fork and monster cap. It's Robtson Gray, Raffa and Mark are being catfished. Oh man, see, get this clown off Grey, Raffer and Mark are being catfished. Oh man! See, get this clown off me, says Raffer. Raffer's scuity guys punch him on each tick. Yup, now bundle the Raffer back into his car

and Mark goes over to Robtson. What were you thinking pretending to be Morrissey? What were you thinking pretending to be Morrissey? That's the only way I've done. I never get them eat raffer bonitas. And it works. I actually heard raffer bonitas in my arms. Raffer bonitas.

It was like holding pure happiness in the shape of a fat Spanish bloke. I'm over there. Fork and moon. Well, Mark can't out but smile, seeing his mates so happy. So Mark says, he's a charming man, isn't Mark says he's a charming man, isn't he? He's a charming man, isn't he? In the buff laugh. Ha! Then Bob says that joke isn't funny anymore.

Mark says, fuck off, Bob. I'm just trying to like the Lord of the Year. Fuck off Bob. I'm just trying to like the Lord of the Year. Then he says, oh hold on, I get it. Oh, hold on, I get it. And they all laugh and they all think I loved so much that glass eyes start dropping out of their assholes. So, it's not, it's not. That's lovely. I mean, cheeky of it, won't it? It was, as far as we get with Lawrence and Robson Greenery,

the Robson's gonna try and go one step further. Second be as well. Well, you know. Well, you know. Did you think it was a bit like that movie, Don't Breathe? I've never heard of that movie. It's where the kids in bed are with that blind army veteran.

Well, give me a thought up, haven't you? No, you know, I just thought it was a bit like it, you know, with Matt living in a house. So anyway, what? Yeah, there was some similarities I suppose, whatever. What ever. I've got some questions for you. From Bradley and Dominic, my boys.

Oh yeah. What? Do you mind if you can you ignore it if as you ask the questions I said, so I ask back out things like an American. I've got one or whatever, whatever makes you happy. Bob, do you think, oh yeah. Do you think we'll all be eating insects one day? What will it take?

Endorsement by a major celebrity, IE, Beyoncé or Michael Bolton. I know a lot of the world, isn't it? Some at like a fifth of the world already dines on the insect? They do, and there's very, very proling heavy apparently, the insect. I'm imagining the time when we'll grand them down,

and we'll powder, pull it in a drink, and we'll flog it to the fuckers down the gym. Yeah. So that's fine. If you, if you'd like to. Good answer. Thank you. Oh yeah, Plub, have you ever met the crankies?

And if so, do you think they're happy with the path they've chosen for themselves? I've never met the crankies. Interesting. Do you know what, I don't think I'd want you know what? I don't think I'd want to. No. I don't think I'd want to. It's all a bit much for me that kind of thing.

You think they're a bit full on? Do you think they're trying to involve you in some of the things they're in? Well, if you want to, if you want to invest to get deep into the Google and the internet. Yeah. I think you'll find out that there are some quite extraordinary stories about the crangies.

I'm not willing to go into it. You wouldn't want to get into that. All right, fair enough. Bob, as a millionaire with a keen interest. I'm not a millionaire. Here you are. With a keen interest. Oh yeah.

With a keen interest in playing the stock market. Yeah. Would you be prepared to buy shares in a company if it was ran by a twat? Well a lot of the smaller companies are run by a twat, but when you say twat you mean someone like you don't you just a fucking nerd who well Well, I believe they all are run by you twats. So yeah, singing a bothered. I'm absolutely out. I suppose it's like twats, no, twats peep, tweet, tweet, treat, treat people like twats and the meds squeeze

money out of the world, I don't know. Where do you buy shares in that? OK, fine, one more, one more. It's Friday night. It's the end of the week. You've got a hard week doing whatever the fuck it is. Oh, yeah. Friday night, would you opt for a chide as an Indian?

Friday night. Friday night. Indian, any, I'm, an Indian Monday through the Sunday. Yeah? To be honest with you. That's not the takeaway of me. That's the nationality of the servant who brings you your haters slippers and switches on your mobile disc golf.

I am a blood and I'm not, I'm Oh, yeah. No, I am on the plate. That is excellent. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO right? Right, just me and then a little bloke behind the park called Sammy, little Sammy, maybe fella. Lots of hunting stuff on the walls, zoo, loose spears, shields and that whips, that sort of shit. And I was watching Man United V Liverpool. He asked me, oh, I supported, Sammy did, I said, that's what, middle's bruh. He laughed, right? So I fired and he laughed again, so I fired and we've did this for a while You know people plays aren't you both that fun? Yeah, it's definitely no armament Suddenly I hear the TV turn over to some obscure tennis tournament. It's a big big massive Dutch african's block Yeah, I said oh excuse me mate. I was I was watching the football

I said, oh excuse me mate, I was watching the football. I don't care if you're applying, I don't care if you're applying in it mate. I'm watching Fidra, his ass is like a good to me. Well I got to speak again, but little Sammy gives me a look as if to just leave it, Bob, leave it. Then the man turns to me. If you wanna watch your lady ball, there's another TV in the conference room.

So Sammy nods, points to the conference room. I take me paint through and I go in there. So I'm still in front of the TV with the remote. I'm just trying, you know, we have to try and get the right input to get it. Yeah. When the big block strides in, take your trousers off and start feeding that remote control in Jurena's boy. Well, he's a massive bloke and there's no one around so I think, yeah, I'll just start...

I'll start taking the trousers off. Suddenly, Sammy comes in, he's got a spear in the shield and he's got the point of the spear right against the bloke's neck. Yeah. He says, there'll be no remotes fed into witnesses on my shift, man. Now get back in the fucking bar, rice and sugar. I'll probably should have done that self-African should know. It's sunny so that's right yeah. There will be no remounts fed into anuses on more shift now get back in the fucking bar rice and sugar. So rice and sugar leaves and Sami watches them all away. So thanks Sami. Why did he want to feed the remort into my ass? Sami says just for the kudos. He wanted to kick you up the ass for Chains channels.

Fucking gangbangers, you gotta love him. I've got the song this thing, man. We've got a song off of it, right? You clear the tune, you start singing first, don't you? Okay, and that's the song you were. That's the song like, Healthy Brooks and Elton John. Yeah, just like that, yeah. Oh, the grace, you know, tell me more know tell me more tell me more right here we go

you're a terrible come you're a capsule of shit with your 25 face Shit With your sweatty fat face And you're nipple-estate Sorry, and they I'm just telling the trofe But when you walk into the room my heart sets on fire And when you dance your your special dance, all my troubles disappear. You're a nasty old twat, you make me pray for death, with your peanut-sized head, and you farm your bread If that hurts, I'm sorry, but let's just have a see it But when you take me in your car

places near and places far and when you call your Or my troubles disappear I'm a special call, all my troubles disappear When I call my special call, all my troubles disappear And when I dance my special dance We have nothing left to fear You're a terrible cold You're a nasty old swat You're a terrible cold

You're a nasty old swat Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja!