Aunty Donna Podcast - Melt Man & Belly Malt

Episode Date: October 8, 2024

Zach saw Just Shoot Me on 10 Peach on his way to the studio and he wants to talk about it. Plus wet hogs. LINKS  Follow @theauntydonnagallery on Instagram https://bit.ly/auntydonna-ig  Become a Patreon supporter at http://auntydonnaclub.com/   CREDITS  Hosts: Broden Kelly, Zachary Ruane, & Mark Bonanno   Producer: Lindsey Green Digital Producers: Nick Barrett, Jim Cruse & Tanya Zerek Audio Imager: Mitch Calladine  Supervising Producer: Elise Cooper   Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh    Join The Aunty Donna Club: https://www.patreon.com/auntydonnaSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A listener production. Folks, it's time to meet your next favourite character today. Please meet Belly Malt in today's Aunty Donna podcast episode. Watch the visuals on theauntiedonataclub.com. It's our Patreon. Come support us. We need your money. Give us your money, you big fuck. Enjoy the episode. You listen to the Aunty Donna podcast.

The greatest fucking fuckers in the world. Burning like a sack and sometimes a guest. Hi, welcome to the Aunty Donna podcast. Listen, usually we play silly characters and goofs and usually we do, you know, things that are off the wall, things that are evergreen as well is a big part of what we do because we have been accused of banking in the past. We've stopped banking. We now record the hour before the episode comes out. But we try to keep it general. But however, however, however, and I checked this with Broden, I haven't checked this with Mark.

I have absolutely no idea what's going on. Broden gave me a resounding yes, this is a good enough podcast topic. No, no, I didn't. No I didn't. Broden said, I said, is this enough for a podcast? He said, oh, too much. I worry that we won't be able to wrap up the podcast in time. Just from full context, just to represent myself.

None of what he's saying is true. Okay. Well, I did ask you if this would be a good one. And I went like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you said, absolutely great idea for a podcast. Lock it in. I did say that. No, you didn't.

No, I didn't. lock it in. I did say that. No you didn't. No I didn't. I came into the listener studio, came upstairs, they play television. They play just they have television. They play television. They have television playing. Right. On televisions. Yeah I thought you meant people were coming into work and being like watch me, watch me change my channel, turn me on and off, check my brightness levels. I don't think you actually thought that's what I meant. I did. I understand the point that you're trying to make.

I'm playing a TV like a child's game. The people that listen are quite childish in their, you know, they have imagination. A lot of them are in sales. So to me it's not a stretch to suggest that, you know, you would walk in and a bunch of people are playing TVs. How'd that go again? Not left to right, from corner to corner. Come, measure me up. Turn me on and off from the back. I don't have enough HDMI ports for how many things you have. Sorry about that. I'm thin. And that's a really funny character, but this is a serious episode.

Mount me to a wall! Mount you to a wall. It's a very funny character, Mark, but this is a serious podcast because I've got some serious news. Are you ready for this? Yeah, I'm ready. Just shoot me as playing on Ted and Peach. Okay, so just to, just for me, just for my mind, to bring me some clarity. So the thing Broden that you said, this is great, and there's enough here for a

podcast, is that Zach just mentioned that the sitcom from the 90s early naughties, Just Shoot Me, was playing on one of the TVs in the foyer. On 10 Peach. On 10 Peach. I believe the Channel 10 digital channel in Australia that is aimed more to a female audience, correct? Yeah, Peach, yeah. I believe it's supposed to be, in a general sense. So when they went from analog to digital, all the channels got more channels, Channel 10. They gave them different names, now they've landed on 10 Peach and 10, Channel 10, what's

11 become? Something else. And 10 Peach. 11. But on 10 Peach, they were playing 10 Peach was Just Shoot Me. Maya was going on a date. David Spade was being very silly about it. And I thought maybe we could talk about that. Just talk about the fact that it was playing when you walked in. Yeah, I think it might still be playing. Do you want to talk about the show Just Shoot Me and our relationship to it? Or do we need to remove ourselves from that and talk about Just the fact that it was on one of the TV's.

I just thought it was like that's big news. That's big news that the audience needs to hear. That they're doing a repeat of Just Shoot Me on Tenplay. Tenpeach. Tenpeach. Well it would be on Tenplay as well. But it would be on Tenplay. So if you're listening to this now after the fact and you want to watch Just Shoot Me,

you can go to 10 play. I think that's relevant. Sure, it's relevant. I'll agree with you there. And a good topic for the army.blogspot. That's where I start to... Because Broden loved it. Did you Broden?

Did you encourage this behaviour? Let me be Frank. Here we go. Okay. Frank. Can't wait for this. Can't wait for the voice. Hi Frank.

Nice to meet you. No, I mean, when he said it, I went, that is funny. Yeah. And then I went, but that's about, what are we now, about six minutes of a podcast? Mm-mm-mm. And also, you know, so for those who don't know, for listeners at home that don't know, we have pre-production meetings before we have our podcast recordings. And in those pre-production meetings, we sit down and we go,

here are the ideas we're going to do. And we do that so that our producers, Lindsay and then, you know, Nick, who helps cut all the, all the, all the clips and stuff, they have time to sort of prepare. They write down what we're going to do. They plan. Yeah. And your point is? Well, the point is, is that one of the ones that we discussed was not 10 peach in the foyer screening a repeat of Just Shoot Me. So if we can't be present and ready to talk about it. Yeah. I was supposed to do a character called Meltman.

And you still can do Meltman. In fact, last week I was supposed to do a Degrassi character. That didn't happen. In fact, please bring in Meltman. Are you sure? Are you sure you want to do that? Because, because... But we can still worry about... Now I feel like this podcast needs to be about the fact that Just Shoot Me was playing on 10 page. But I think Meltman might like that. I get

what you're saying. I get it. I get it. I worry that to bring in melt man would Cheapen the importance of the message here, which is that just shoot me his play got ten peach and not Now as you're listening to this they're gonna come to me on reddit. They're gonna come at me on reddit for this bit They're gonna go. Well, actually I wish you'd done melt man. I Actually wish they had done Meltman. I actually wish they'd done Meltman. I'm sorry, but the way that Zach actually brought up Just Shoot Me on 10-page, I actually prefer it when they play characters like Meltman. Well, I can, dear listener, dear audience, I can promise you.

Zach speaks for himself. Well, no, I was going to say that this is much more interesting than anything Meltman has to offer. I was going to play Ballymolt. Which we've seen, have we seen these characters yet on... Hard to say. Hard to know. On... Probably. The most upsetting guessing game in the world.

Because I would hate to ruin the surprise of Meltman, which I suppose we've just done. Well, no, but we can hold onto this episode until post-Meltman makes his, you know, the post-Meltman debut. If we were still banking them, we could. But unfortunately, we've recorded this the moment before it's gone on air.

In that case, yes. Remember, they have seen it because it came out. Sure. You're right. You're right. Please welcome... Back to Ten Peach. Ten Peach, of course, has been one of the ten digital channels. Sorry, I'm sorry.

We should bring in Meltman. You want to bring in Meltman? Me? Yeah. I want to talk about the fact that Just Shoot Me is on 10 Peach. But if we think that maybe we should bring in Meltman. Well, I have another office observation. Maybe this podcast could be more about the observations that the listener offers. Because the 10 Peach, Just Shoot Me thing, I mean, in my opinion,

has run out of steam. And I'm not sure what else there is to offer. Well, Broden imagined when we were talking about it he imagined someone in a doctor's office perhaps watching, you know in the- With the sound off, just says Vinch and Meyer. Yeah, yeah. Right. I mean there's just another office thing I'd like to talk about which I think is- Yeah, yeah go for it.

Potentially relevant. Yeah. Should I bring in Ballymolt? Yeah. At some point. You don't think Yeah. Should I bring in bellymolt? Yeah. At some point. You don't think I should bring in bellymolt now? Or my Degrassi character that I... See, here's the thing.

I worked on my Canadian accent for the whole drive here. But that was last week. We're not banking them anymore. No. No, we're not. And we need to be clear about that. I noticed. I'm bellymalt. Oh he's here! Oh bellymalt's here. Hey everybody it's me bellymalt. Hello bellymalt.

Bellymalt is what are you? I'm all the malt in everyone's bellies whether I was... see this I'm a different belly malt to mug so people have probably watched the most upsetting guessing game in the world where I was belly malt where that was I was specifically the malt from one tin of malt. You were the you were malt from one tin of malt that had been in milkshakes and spread around in other people's tummies. But now I'm all malt. I'm the malt in Maltesers. I'm the malt in Milo. I'm the malt in a tin of straight-up malt that goes into a milkshake as an extra. I'm all that malt after it goes into the belly of your friends. Okay, but you still are in a belly.

Do you travel? I travel wherever you travel. Right, because you're in my belly. I travel to the colon and to the poop, but mostly I just sit in your belly. I'm belly malt. Are you? What is malt? Malt is a yummy thing that you put in maltises, milos and milkshakes.

And I'm the malt that after you drink it that goes into your belly. But what is malt? I don't know. I am malt. I don't know what malt is. Is it a flavour like chocolate comes from the cocoa bean? Where does malt come from? What is malt? Malt. I don't know. I am malt. I don't know what malt is. Is it a flavour like chocolate comes from the cocoa bean? Where does malt come from?

I really don't know. I just spent my whole life in Milo or Maltesers and now I'm in a belly. I never went to school. Mark, this is belly malt. I'm belly malt. I'm all the malt in all. If you just had some malt, then I'm in your belly. What's your flavor profile?

How would you describe the flavor? I don't know, I've never eaten malt. I don't have a mouth because I'm belly malt. But surely you've heard the sort of, you know, the exasperations of people who have eaten you. No, I just hear their mouth going, as I go into the belly, I'm belly malt. I was once in Milo, now I'm in your belly.

I'm belly malt. It's belly malt, Mark. This is belly malt. I'm the malt in your belly, I'm the malt in all your friends' bellies. Did you know that Just Shoot Me is on 10 Peach? God damn it, yes I do. That's the biggest news to come to Bally since, since,

since the death of the Queen. Oh yeah, okay. I'm Ballymolt. Do you, does Molt traditionally love Just Shoot Me? Yeah, I watch it every day. I used to watch it when I was a kid, Dat and Bekah. I'm Ballymolt. My question would-

Back then I wasn't Ballymolt, back then I was Milo malt. So you change- So you um- So uh, so let me get this straight. You change- I'm belly malt. You change malts.

I'm malt that lives in the belly. Yeah, but you change malts. You change malts? What are you talking about? You change malts. What are you talking about? I don't know. You said I was the malt in Milo.

I'm all the malt that ever there was and I'm all the malt that lives in a belly. So you're like... Milo malt was the one that liked to just shoot me and I hold within him his memories. I hold within me his memories. So you're like an omnipotent malt, sort of all-knowing malt. Not all-knowing... Malt. Not all-knowing, I know whatever the malt's performing you. Yeah, but all malt-knowing.

All malt-knowing. All you know all that a malt can know. If malt got... If malt is now poo malt, that's not me. So I don't know what that malt knew. Poo malt? Because you were just in the belly, because he just stays in the belly. I'm only...

I'm belly malt. You're not poo malt. No. And you're not, but you are, you are. I was. Milo malt, Malteser malt, malt malt. Now I'm belly malt. Belly malt.

I'm not poo malt. Is there malt in beer? I was throat malt. Is there malt in beer? Is there malt in beer? Barley. Barley? Sorry, there's Malt in barley.

Are you from barley? I don't know, I'm Malt. He's Malt. Man, I'm Malt. Malt loves Just Shoot Me and Becca. Milo Malt loves Just Shoot Me and Becca. There was this little fat kid that used to come home from school, make himself a little glass,

I can say he was fat because it was Zach, he used to come home from school, make himself a couple glass... I can say his fat because it was Zach. He used to come over from school, make himself a couple of suboys, get a milk, put some more over there. And he'd sit down and watch repeats of Just Shoot Me on Channel 10. And that was the malt that I was and now I'm Zach's belly malt. Were they repeats? But I'm your belly malt and your belly malt. At the time were they new episodes of Just Shoot Me. No, they were repeats but like it was still coming out.

So it was like repeats of season one. I don't know, I didn't think this through on bellymolt. Did you always do watch, because I watched Becker and Just Shoot Me 2. What other sitcoms from that era, those sort of second tier down sitcoms that were the reaction to, you know, Friends and Seinfeld. Well, I saw Friends and Seinfeld, Frasier. I didn't get Frasier at the time, I was a little high for Luton for a little belly malt,

but at the time I was Malteser malt watched Frasier because that's the kind of thing. Oh maybe I'll have Maltesers. Do you know where you get Maltesers a lot? The opera. Oh yeah. Do you, are you in people's bellies when they're watching the opera? Yeah, and musicals. I just saw The New Rent. Oh, yeah? Yeah, I saw The New Rent. How was that? It doesn't hold up that channel.

Why now? Why now? You know what I mean? Yeah, and why then, really? Let's be honest here. Yeah, why then? Remember when they made the movie, they cut a bunch of songs, and then they just kept the cast of the original and they were all 40 and it was weird? For you to have seen that, we know that someone ate maltesers or drank malt while watching the film Rent. Yeah.

Yeah, someone had a couple of, had a couple, they had a milkshake and they made it themselves. They got the whole tin of malt. I put Rent up there with I enjoy rent. I saw a protein. I just very briefly touched fingers in what could have been a romantic moment. But he pulled away. It's all right. I'm afraid of what it would have where it could have. That's where this podcast has gotten to that just the slightest little touch of fingers

must be addressed on air live. We're coming to you live. Did you want to bring in anyone to talk to Malt Man? I mean, Mellie Malt? I'm Belly Malt, not Mellie Malt. Malt Man is, if Malt Man and Belly Malt had a baby, potentially that would be Malt Man. Well, Malt Boy though for the first 16 years. Or Malt Boy. Can I ask you a question? When you touch fingers, what does it feel like? I don't have fingers, I just have malt. Because you're belly malt.

Malt, belly malt. To feel the touch, touch is a wonderful sense. Feeling, I don't have feeling. Because I don't have nerves. I just have malt. Where you have, oh look, it's a malt man. It's me, malt man. Hey malt man, it's me, belly malt.

Folks, you are in for a treat today. Much like someone who has had a Milo milkshake and is sitting down to an episode of Becker in 2002. You are in store. We have both Bellymolt. Bellymolt. And Meltman. I'm Meltman.

Hi Meltman, you're melted. We got some music for Meltman. Do we? Yeah. Sounds like this. I can't wait to hear it, but I can't hear it because I don't have ears. We got some music for Meltman. Do we? Yeah. Sounds like this. I can't wait to hear it, but I can't hear it because I don't have ears. I'm an old man. Oh, he's old and he's melted.

I'm Meltman. Meltman, we're just getting your music, Meltman. Oh, I love this. I can't hear it. Oh, you can't hear it because your ears are all melted. Sounds great. Hear that? Is this a live track? You can't hear that? Yes, I can hear it because you either all melted sounds great that Just a live track you can't hear that. Yes. I can hear it

Scary no man. I'm not man. Hey, man. All right, you should run for me or melt City Nope There's melt see about me. Oh, what are you talking about? Your first question There's a various melt city, a melt city, Malt Man. Melty Malt, what are you talking about? I don't even melt city. Why is that your first question? Ah, cause he's melted. How do you know there's a Malt Melt City? I know everything.

I know there's a Malt... You can't feel. What are you talking about? You just said you can't feel. Yeah, here's my malt brain. Malt brain? Yeah, here's my malt brain to learn. I might not have gone to school like you humans.

Who's boiling sausages? Who's you humans. Who's boiling sausages? Who's boiling sausages? Who's boiling sausages? Oh, Melt Man wants some sausages. Why do you ask? Well, I'm Melt Man and I can smell a boiled sausage from a mile away. Oh, Melt Man's fucked up. Hey, Melt Man, have you ever been to Melt City?

Melt City? I don't know Melt City, but I do know I get the best tuna Melt man likes tuna melts, but he's never been to melt city. Yeah, where I've been malt city. Oh, it's beautiful I smell pork. I smell wet pork from the bubbling boils of a pot. Oh, he loves malt. He loves boiled sausages. Oh yeah? You have had malt, malt, man. No, I care not for such base pleasures.

Folks, if you are just joining us, we have replaced two members of this podcast with two heightened characters. One is Belly Malt. I'm Belly Malt. I'm all the... I'm all the malt in all your bellies. Belly Malt? Tell me, have you been in my belly? Well, no, apparently not. But because you reckon you never have malt, but I reckon you've had cheeky malt teaser at the movies once or twice. I have. I have. I have.

And this is Melt Man. I'm Melt Man. I have some inventions. You have many inventions. I have some inventions. Melt Man many inventions. I have some inventions. Meltman can smell boiled sausage from anywhere. I can smell boiled sausage from a mile away. Because it's melting? Because it's wet!

But he's never even been to Melt City, let alone run for mayor. I can smell boiled sausage in the same way I can smell a moist pig from over a hundred meters away. I love Meltman. Fuck you talking big. I'm Meltman and I have had no melt in my belly, but I've had malt in my tummy. What, one podcast to amazing characters.

Meltman. Meltman. I have inventions. Hey Meltman, tell me about some of your inventions. I would love to know, have you ever invented malt? I've never invented malt, but think of meat Think you invented a mate. No, but think of a me you can smell a suckling pig from kilometers away

Wet pig just a wet hog If I am it's a pig if there's a hog that's been drenched in liquid what are you talking over 10 meters away I can smell I'm meld man I'm over a thousand meters I regret this I regret you meet my Okay great. Fielding the questions will be the malt that exists in bellies. Yeah, I'm belly malt. Imagine meat in the tiniest pieces that you can think of. What? Imagine meat.

In the tiniest? Cut, divided, separated into the smallest pieces. Are we talking atoms? No, bigger than atoms. Bigger than, um, atoms' apples. Okay, that's pretty big. Tiny pieces, almost like thin, just sort of just thin little rows.

Are we talking about carpaccio? No. Are we talking about carpaccio? No. That's not that scary or unsettling if you're just talking about carpaccio. No. Are you talking about cappuccino. No! Are you talking about like, are you putting it in a blender so it's almost like a paste?

It's sort of like a paste. It's bigger than an Adam's apple, do you wanna retract that? It is smaller than an Adam's apple. Ah, okay. Melt man need in a tiny sort of form. And what are we making here? Like a... He's talking about sausage! Yeah! No, it depends on the coarseness.

Yeah you're talking about sausage. Has he buried the lead? Buried the lead? I don't know what I'm doing by that. What are you talking about? Hey man you just leave this to the pros. Hey Maltmein, you ever had malt? Nah I've had, I've been to gold class cinemas and I've watched many a film and I've, you know, dined on some chocolatey snacks that has had some melt in it, but I've never eaten belly malt. I've never, I can't eat belly malt because belly malt only exists once you've eaten malt.

But if you could have, like, haggis, Haggis with malt in it would be bellymold. Yeah, you can feed it to any of your pigs, slaughter the pig, and eat it from its belly. I DON'T KNOW, PIGS! I can just get a whiff of them. I reckon so. From over five meters away. You can eat bellymold if you really wanted to, but it'd be fucked up. Tell me about your invention.

I tried to explain my first one but you rejected it. You rejected it. We would never! Imagine a workplace where you don't need to pay full time rent. Hot desking, hot desking? Well, yes, I suppose. Are you talking about WeWork? Yes, I suppose I am.

You invented WeWork. What about WeWork? Yes, I suppose I am. You invented WeWork. What's WeWork? Well, I came to the idea of my own sort of one late one night. I went, imagine that concept. And then I looked it up and it had already been invented. But that shouldn't be taken away from the fact that I did come up with it independently because I wasn't aware of the fact. But the WeWork was a flop. We work was bad. It was a bad idea. But I still came up with it. Yeah, you can't take that away from me. After, after.

Can I ask you... Same with the phrase espresso, depresso espresso. Oh, I've never heard that phrase. It's a common saying. I came up with it. Depresso espresso. Depresso espresso. What do you mean? Yes, a common saying. I came up with it. Depresso espresso. Depresso espresso. I was sort of sad. I was sort of sad one day.

It felt like it had come, you know, the sadness had come quite quickly in the way that caffeine would be too quickly after an espresso coffee. So I said, I'm depresso espresso. And then I looked it up. I was like, that's a great invention. It's a great idiom. I've come up with that's great You know it had been on urban dictionary for 12 years already But I did have you come up with have you ever created an invention? Meltzman that hasn't been invented before you thought of it. No not yet, but I'm can't wait for the day before you thought of it? No, not yet, but I'm...

I can't wait for the day I... Can we turn the... Well, seize the day. Carpe diem. Carpe diem. Can we turn the tables, Meltman? Because I love you. You're beautiful. You're the mayor of Melt City. I never visited Melt City.

I don't think it's a place that exists. I don't think it's appropriate for Meltman to be the mayor of Melt City. I make a ripper tuna melt. So if... You would consider, you know, the realm of hot press sandwiches, as a city- I don't know nothing about sandwiches. We should go to Subway, they explain it to you.

Yeah? Yeah. It's a course and you walk out with a sandwich. Yeah. You know, I- I mean I'm in the belly with sandwiches. I don't have time for this. I'm melting away as we speak. Are you melt?

He, okay folks. He can smell a wet pig. He can invent things that have already been invented. He is melting. These are the traits and attributes of Melt Man. And mine are? You are melt, wait, you're malt. Belly. Belly malt. Belly malt. You are Melt- wait you're Malt. Bally! Ballymalt? Ballymalt. You exist in a Belly's. And we are best friends.

And you are best- Meltman, Ballymalt. Double attribute alert! They are friends, the best of friends. I first met Meltman at Malt University. He came on because he misread it and he thought they would teach him melt I get into all your cupboards he gets into your cupboards all right hey you can smell a wet pig hey sausage boiled sausage and was that because it's pig nice am I right inside I don't want to speak for you man lamb sausage just just from a few more meters away. Wet sausage. Wet pig.

Wet sausage. Boiled sausage. Boiled sausage. Not wet sausage. You're not listening to Milt-Man. He's my hero. You need to pay attention to the fine details you're to describe. He makes...

What makes me Milt-Man? I'm Milt-Man. Hey, Milt-Man. Hello, Ballymolt. You're not the mayor of Malt City? Malt City? I'm fromman. Hey, Meltman. Hello, Ballymolt. You're not the mayor of Malt City? Malt City? I'm from Malt City. And you're from Melt City?

He's from Melt City. No. Oh, I've got ya. I'm from Lava-ton. Oh, I've got ya, though. You did get me. You nearly said it. What's on TV now, I wonder?

Just Shoot Me. Really? Yeah, Just Shoot Me is on 10 Peach. Maltman, I got an idea. You want to have a little scheme with me? I would love to scheme. I would love to scheme. Listen to the music that defines my character.

It's terrifying. Yeah, I don't have any music because we didn't plan my character as much. So I'm Ballymolt and I got a plan. Broden's been interviewing us this whole time. I think we've about time we turn the tables on Broden. Yes I want to know all about Broden. Sure I'm an open book. His dreams. Can he smell Sosh if I was frying a little boiled sauce if I was frying a little meat sack on a Weber but I made said yeah just say you call them Sosh! Yeah, but they are a meat sack. They're a little sack of meat. Confined in a tube of the intestine of a very animal... ...that the meat has come from. By the time that Sosh gets into the belly and sitting around with me,

oh, because I'm belly-bolt, it's popped out of its sack. And it's just meat mush. He's terrified of us. We've scared him into oblivion It's funny. I don't know it isn't belly sack. I don't know it is a meat sack I just know it is meat mush because that that sack has popped by the time it's in my in a belly. Sosh Sosh, I can smell a sosh. Can you smell a boiled sosh? Warm in the center. Can you smell a boiled sosh? Yeah, can you smell a boiled Sush? Yeah.

Can you smell a boiled Sush? I can smell the white skin of the intestine from over a kilometer away. If it's being boiled at over a hundred degrees. I would have thought you would have... That's funny you used metric. I would have thought you would have said Miles. Miles Teller, the best of the Spider-Men. What?

He's not a Spider-Man? Miles, tell her. He is in Melt-town. Cause he's in Fantastic Four. And Whiplash. That's a word to think of Spider-Man. Miles Morales, Miles, tell her all the miles of the same to me. Fiction or non-fiction.

Vanessa Carlton's? Vanessa Carlton's. Vanessa Carlton's... A Thousand. A Thousand Miles. She sings of all the Spider-Men. She just... The song A Thousand Miles is my favourite song about the Spider-Man multiverse. He can smell wet pig and boiled sosh from a thousand miles, tell us a way. He's in the belly of everyone who's ever eaten malt.

I'm in your belly. You, I've not had malt lately. And you ever had malt? Yeah. I'm in your belly. He has a podcast about Aussie rules football. Belly malt? No, the Broden Kelly Amongst Us.

Oh yeah. Hey Broden Kelly. Hi. I'm Belly Malt. I know. Hi Melt Man. Melt Man's my best friend. Guys, Brandon and Kelly. Hi. I'm Bally Malt. I know. I'm Meltman. Meltman's my best friend.

Guys, quick question. Meltman, what defines you? What defines me? You can smell a sosh. I can smell a sosh. Boiled sosh. Boiled and wet. I can smell a pig covered in liquid from over a hundred kilometers away

and it can be filthy as you imagine eating its own shit from a trough. Pigs are quite clean animals. Do you know what you look like? Can I give you a physical attribute? Please! I like your... even though you're an old man I like that you dye your hair black. Thank you. I just think that... I just saw him as a very old man, but with black hair.

Yes, and it's thinning. And it's leaking a bit. Yes, like kind of like Zorg from Fifth Element. My head leaks. Rudy Giuliani. Your head leaks? Or your hair dye leaks? Your hair dye is leaked. Well I don't think that's what's happening I think. So because...

What do you think is happening? I've rewatched it recently and even the priest's head leaks. No I'm asking you! I'm not talking about 5th element characters. I think anyone that talks to the sort of evil entity makes their head bleed. But I did think for a number of years that it was Sork's hair dye. Hey, I'm a belly malt. I love the fifth element. I'm a belly malt. What? You've never had malt? I've had malt. Then I'm in your belly.

I can, I can seed. I can seed that you- Some of me has become malt poo. Poo malt. And malt piss, probably. I have as much depth as any mighty bouche character. I like Malt Man. You are bouchey. It's very bouchey. Very bouchey. You are bouchey.

Very bouchey. Malt Man. My tits are small. Malt Man, I'm Malt Man. My tits are small. Is that a bouche thing? No, I don't know, but I feel like it's in the realm of bouche. Do you want to do a rap? Not really. No, I don't know but I feel like it's in the realm of pooch

Do you want to do a rap? Not really I'm a melt man I'm a melt man I'll get in your house and I'll eat your beans and I'll live in your fridge. I'm a melt man I'll smell your sosh from a mile away. I'll wake your pig and sniff him out Do you know Marty Boosh? I'll hide in your cupboards and steal your cat. I'm Meltman. You've got a hat. That's funny. Malt, barely Malt hasn't seen Boosh

but still appreciates it. Yeah. I love, I mostly know Malt things. Such as? That there's malt in everyone's belly. Unless they haven't had malt. You'd be surprised. Everyone's had malt. The generational malt. I've discovered oil wells in over 15 counties. Whatever.

The character's just whatever. It's whatever you can think of. Whatever you want. Whatever. Just want the characters, just whatever. It's whatever you can think of. It sounds about like a boiled sausage. It's whatever you want. It's Meltman. Meltman. Someone write this all down. Fuck you, it's a good character, cunt.

I like Meltman. I think the boiled sausage and the wet pig, it's the core of what Meltman is. As soon as you said that, I thought, gee whiz, we've got two really good characters. One of them's a real kooky fella, his name's Meltman, the other one's Ballymolt. And his music is really put into an interesting art space for me. I'm a referee for lopping ceremonies.

Whatever you want! Well, if you were... Ballymolt. You guys are only here today, if you could impart one bit of knowledge from your lives that you could, for our audience, they can take away today, what would it be? Oh, okay. Um, as you know, if you have malt, it will be in your belly. Okay, great. I don't think enough people boil sausages as a healthy alternative to eating quite a fatty meat.

Yeah, air fryer as well. Do you know, can you smell an air-fried sausage? God no. Well man, what are your thoughts on curried sausages? Curried? Curried sausages, so it's like sausages with a bit of keen's curry powder, sometimes even like fruit. In the sack? No, it's like a curry with sausages. You ever had that?

I don't think I've thought of curried sausages for over a millennia. Oh, it didn't exist two thousand years ago. Oh. Broden? Yes? I'm tired. Yeah, melt man and malt. Melt man's dying.

Bully malt gotta go away now. Thank you, and it's been lovely having you. Anything you want to plug? Melt man, can you give me a lift to Melt City? I can. Thanks, man. You can crawl into the crevices of my pits. Yeah, I could go in your belly.

You could! I'm bellymelt, you eat me up. Let's travel to Arrakis. See ya, see ya bro. I'm in his bellymelt. Where spices, spices are plentiful. And Dune. Mark, I'll know that we did this when Dune 2 came out.

But Dune 1, it talks about it in Dune 1, and the novel was like the thing written in like 87. Oh fuck, I just gave it away. Or the 70s. No, it would have been much earlier. And there they go. Because George Lucas would have thought lots of ideas from it. And it's just me, Broden.

And me, Zach. And me, Meltman. And me, Bellymolt. I couldn't find the exit. Sitting here. And me Belly Malt. Sitting here with our thoughts. All five of us here. Yeah.

Yeah. Wait no, no Mark. So there's me Zach. No I'm here. Mark's here. Mark, Broden, Zach. Hey. Maltman, Belly Malt.

Hi. Meltman. What'd I say? You said Maltman, it's hard. Their names are similar. I know, I'm struggling. But there's five of us. Just sitting here with our thoughts awaiting the great end. I do wonder what awaits us. On the other side. I know, I know. I've been there. It's a belly. Oh, it's a belly. Well, as we all await to go to the big belly

that is ready to consume us all like malt, think of your loved ones. Cherish them. Cherish moments. Cherish moments. I suppose my question, and my response to that is, you know, people get so stressed and they think about all these things But ultimately I mean we're just bellymold

Well, you are yeah Sorry that that's not relevant to you, but to me that's a relevant point And There it is Just shoot me Yeah, that was the just Shoot Me on 10 Peach podcast. Yeah, that was a good one. If you've...

judged us based on the content of this episode... Judge not lest you be judged. Remember the Ten Commandments. So if you've judged us based on this episode, don't cover your neighbor's wife. And if you've judged us based on this episode don't cover your neighbor's wife And if you've judged us because of this episode I am the Lord your God What worship no other Lords before me Okay

I think we're hunting for an end here. Yeah, we are. Yeah, we're kind of grabbing and sometimes, sometimes podcasts just end. Why don't I just do a formal ending? What do you mean? Well, cause I thought we could end it when, I there where I said, sometimes podcasts just end,

but I don't think that's right. Oh no, no, this is going to go 40. Well, it's been a great episode Thank you for coming in malts man. Thank you. Malts man. Malts man Valley malt Valley malt malt man out man is not what the thing is. Yeah melt man melt man Valley malt Belly malt. Thank you so much for coming in absolute pleasure anything you want to plug? I've got the Malt podcast where I talk to other... I talk to Belly Malt. Okay, and Melt Man. Just a reminder to hose down your hogs. I'll keep them dry if you don't want Melt Man to get them.

dry if you don't want melt man to get him. Keep your hogs dry or melt man will get him. Don't listen to him. Don't listen to him. You can keep your belly malt, listen to belly malt on the belly malt podcast. Sorry but we've just found the best layer of melt man. Keep your hogs dry. He's an old like American puritanical folklore in New England and you have to keep your hogs dry on Meltman or take it

or I'll come into your cupboards and steal your plates and bowls. Oh my god, that's the best A24 horror I've ever heard in my life. Keep your hogs dry. You gotta keep your hogs dry. Belly Malt podcast, check that out. It's on Podbean and you can-

It's the hogs. It's the hogs, they're wet. That's it's on Podbean. And uh, you can- It's the hogs! It's the hogs! They're wet! That's what's bringing him here! Get a towel! You did not sufficiently dry the hogs! And now you have brought pain upon your family! What the fuck?

What the fuck have you done to your pigs? I was cleaning them! I was just cleaning them! They're sopping wet! You know not what you've done! It's set now it's like It's set in the 1600s. Well there's a there's a the first 10 minutes is set in the 1600s and the rest is set now because melt man is back because people keep their people keep their pigs too wet now. It's a metaphor for grief.

We'll see you next week and have a better tomorrow. You've been listening to the Aunty Donna podcast. Thanks for joining us for another RIP episode brought to you by AuntyDonnaClub.com. See you next week. Listener.