Aunty Donna Podcast - Podcast Ep 174 - The Wellness Center With Patrick Durnan Silva
Episode Date: November 11, 2019Get around Patrick!!! Â Insta: @ patrickhsds Twitter: @ TVGLICHOOKAS facebook.com/theverygoodlookinginitiative/ Â Patreon.com/auntydonna haventyoudonewell.com auntydonna.comJoin The Aunty Donna Club...: https://www.patreon.com/auntydonnaSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Well, we've only done a podcast by banking the evening.
For those who don't know, we're banking them.
We're on number nine of bank to podcast.
So for you, we're at week nine.
You've been listening for two months.
So over the last two months, you need to understand we've recorded all of these podcasts
in three days.
If you're just turning in now, we're bankin' them.
We're bankin' them.
What's happening is we're bankin' them.
And it hasn't been working out.
If you listened to last week's podcast, which I assume was the half hour rap song.
Mm-hmm.
You know, you can tell mentally where we're at.
We're banking them.
That's all you need to know.
If you need to know, we're banking them.
If you are tuning in right now, maybe we're banking them.
If you're tuning in now, we're still banking them.
Can I say something boys?
I noticed, last word.
Is that my phone?
Yeah, I don't know what it's doing over here.
I picked it up before thought it was mine
Giving me his phone. Why do you need it mark? Give me a phone throw it away. Don't be distracted. I'm talking to you boys
Listen to me. This is the problem. We've been banking them. Yeah, why is there only one camera on your phone mark? Yes, and
Your post oh concentration. Oh, I'm so sorry. Of course I've got
a question is key. I forgot all about our incredible soft guests that we have. So I fucking you.
Don't worry about that little Sandra. It's me. Broden.
I'm sanded to me. In my center of wellness, we all have a spirit name. So let's go around and say our spirit name.
Okay.
Hi, my name is Zach, and my spirit name is Zachi.
Okay.
Can you do that?
My name is Broden.
I'm an actor, writer, performer, singer.
I've been in many shows on TV and stage and screen. My spirit name is
Zachi. Original. And you? Who? Me? Yes, you there in the back. Yeah. hi, I guess my name's Mark Samuel Bonanno.
Um, I'm a lover, first and foremost, and a storyteller.
Wow.
So deep and beautiful.
And my spirit name is Kant Socket.
That was my father's spirit name.
Really?
Yeah.
Teacher.
Yes.
I should give you some context that we were stressed because we were banking them
So we've brought you in as a spiritual guide
Can you tell our listeners a little bit about who you are?
What you do why you do it why you do it how you shut the fuck up
What's helping see how sick he is in his heart?
I'm sick in my heart and in my head and I threw a aggression at my brother
And that's why we've brought you on
Okay
Right now you're all bleeding out of your eyes
Yeah, and that's from stress
Jesus Christ. There's a lot of blood coming out of it. You can't see this at the moment
It's coming out of your
This is individual strands coming out of each of your
The things
The tear ducts the the tear ducts.
You look like Jesus.
Thank you, can't suck it.
You're welcome.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
I'm doing very well.
I didn't do anything.
No, no, no, no, I was still in the zack.
I'm zacky, zacky.
OK.
Why don't we call you, why don't you,
maybe your spirit name should be like bro,
because you're like my brother.
I don't know about that. I like that on the bro
Yeah, but maybe you've Zach your knick knick knick knick your name is on I'm bro
You're the bro. Hey guys the ladies love me is the bro
What ladies the the ladies the laddies you know about this spit what's your name?
Kent Kent What's your name? Kent. Kent? Kentels.
Kentels like lentils?
Yes.
Kentels like lentils.
What's your spirit name, Kent?
Sabrina.
Is it in the teenage which?
As in my mother, Sabrina, canthels.
I didn't realize that was the name of your mother.
I feel awful.
So, your name is Kentel, canthels?
Kentel, canthels, Sabrina. Sabrina, spirit name. I feel awful. So your name is is can't all can't all can't all's
Sabrina some brain a spirit nice bro. Oh
Sorry, Zachy. Can you just chill out here? I guess
All right, so I can sense there's a lot of tension here between you all there's a great deal of tension because we've been
Banking them. Yeah, and can you feel the sexual excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. Everyone, let's envision that high pressure hose.
High pressure hose at the panel means
across the road from our office.
Yes, it's right outside.
Let's close our eyes, everyone.
There's a high pressure hose, and it's flowing and flowing.
It's hitting your spots, your face, your chest,
your tiny little nipple, the back of your throat.
What about my other nipple?
Isn't hitting just one or do you have just one?
Just one because that's where your spirit shark restates.
Oh, and now it's moving down and it's hitting your mum's face.
Oh, wow.
And she's screaming and she's saying, boy, boys, boys, where the fuck is your father? Where the fuck is your father? He's gone and she's saying, boys, boys, boys.
Where the fuck is your father?
Where the fuck is your father?
He's gone out, mum.
He's gone out.
He said he went out to Bunnings to get some timber.
Well, you know your father.
You know what it's like.
Every day he wakes up, he goes to work,
and he leaves me behind with you little fuckers.
And what am I supposed to do?
Feed these little bitches, not today.
I'm gonna eat you all with my high-pressure hose.
No, mom.
I'll come on.
I'll come on.
I'll come on.
I'll come on.
I'll come on.
I'll come on.
I'll come on.
I'll come on.
I'll come on.
I'll come on.
I'll come on.
I'll come on.
I'll come on.
I'll come on.
I'll come on. I'll come on. I'll come on. I'll come on. I'll come on. everyone let's have a little hum tune, shall we? Yeah, hum tune. Yeah, it's what we do in the
wellness center. It's how you relax.
Oh, good.
I do something. Good. Now, Zaki, let's harmonize with that one.
Okay.
Right now, Zaki, kind of thing, that's how I'm going to do it. Ah, yeah.
Ah.
Now let's bring that down.
Kent, can I talk to you just outside the yoga studio for a moment?
Yeah, sure.
I need to tell you something.
I'm going to go, sure, that's a hit.
Listen, I can't make it into our wellness retreat tomorrow.
I've lost my foot.
What?
I've lost my foot.
Okay, wow, that's news to me.
Yeah, okay, so, okay, let's try it back.
So where did you lose your foot?
I lost it in the accident.
I got cut off by a sore. And there's no way you can get it back in the accident. It got cut off by a saw.
And there's no way you can get it back in the next hours.
No, well, I really have to do the surgery today,
but I came in instead, but I will have to take it off
tomorrow to recover.
Yeah, cool.
I'm hearing you, listening.
It's like, this class is really important
of all the one.
You're the one that's been crying the most.
I've been crying mainly because of the pain
of the loss of my soul.
That's so fun.
It's like, I get that, I'm like hearing it.
It's like, yeah.
I'm so sorry to interrupt this.
I wasn't interrupting anything was I?
Yeah, a little bit.
Kent, can I just talk to you over here for a second?
Yeah, babe.
Yeah, sure, that's good.
Kent, I've got a confession that I need.
Can you just, sorry Mark, Patrick, just one second.
I think these are...
Turn off the high pressure hose!
We're doing a podcast!
I don't even know where you're from.
Turn the fucking high pressure hose!
The fuck off! I'm not fucking joking
Much better Brodo, and I don't know if that I don't know if that would have done anything you were just screaming into a wall
I'll out the fucking window these people don't fucking understand that we're banking them
And I'm sensing a lot of aggression here at the can with the high pressure hose and I've in street brumswik
Okay, well, let's take that aggression and let's look at it.
Alright.
Okay.
You can't see aggression, you think that?
Sacky.
I'm not sacky.
Brut Mr. Brut.
Sorry, yeah, that's okay.
Let's take a look deep into your aggression.
Where were you when you were nine? War torn Adelaide.
Yeah.
And what was happening at that time?
My mother, she's carrying me through Glendor.
Yeah.
There's bombs, bullets.
Flying everywhere.
And that's, and a man with a high pressure hose was there.
Yeah.
And he put it in my mouth and pulled it,
and the water in my mouth.
And how did you feel?
Like it hurt.
Yeah, no totally, it does have.
It's a lot of pressure for a nine-year-old boy.
Like legitimate pressure.
Yeah, like actually, I'm not doing it.
It was like, a car-char-high pressure hose.
Like you wash cars, you clean like graffiti off walls. Yeah, that would actually, I'm not talking about that. It was a car, a high pressure hose. Like, you wash cars, you clean like graffiti off walls.
Yeah, that would actually, I think,
it's severely easy.
It was on low.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right, they get it.
So it was high pressure hose.
Was he more of a hose then?
Yeah.
Was he part of the Holy Forsail?
No, he was still a high pressure hose.
It's still a high, exact bro.
It's still a high pressure hose.
If it's on low.
Sorry, were you talking to me then?
Yes.
Sorry, I'm a little bit confused.
So I sounded like you were talking to yourself.
Yeah, I'm talking to you.
I'm talking to bro.
Well, oh, sorry, I'm bro.
Oh, your bro, I got a little bit confused.
That's your spirit name, we changed it.
I'm sorry.
What was your name?
Sabrina.
Sabrina.
Sabrina Kent.
Sabrina Kent, Kentles.
Have you seen the new Sabrina?
I haven't.
No, apparently it's a darker take
Yeah, so you know how the old Sabrina was a bit fun. Just cookie and the
yeah, yeah, yeah, well the it's now serious. It's got the little one from madman in it
But she's all grown up and it's it's darker is the cat stills the talking cats the wisecracking talking cats still
I don't know I've not seen it but it sounds like a lot of fun.
I think they get naked quite a lot and they do a lot of actual witchcraft.
I'll do that now. But it's more sexual tension again.
Yeah, you say booby, but do you say peony? I want to say yes.
But I think I probably impose that
Impose that on the show. Yeah, you just that's you all hang on I used to say you say you took your penis and put it on the screen while watching Sabrina. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know guys
I was having a rough day
Okay, like I'm gonna be real with you. I've only been doing this for like 10 days
I did a certificate in tape.
I was like trying to make something myself.
I wanted to be cool.
I saw some Instagram people and they're like,
wellness, it's like where we're going.
It's like everyone who does wellness is someone.
And I'm a nobody.
I have depression.
I've been trying to survive for years and years and years.
But of course my mother doesn't call me
and there's this whole thing with my dad
where he's just like ran away.
The high pressure host thing,
that was the actual fact with me.
I actually had a high pressure host down my throat
and then I lived in Adelaide.
There was bombs everywhere.
Wait, that's me.
That's bro, that's me.
You're talking shit, you made that up.
It's my journey.
That's Jackie.
That's Jackie's journey.
Yeah, that's Jackie's not yours.
Yeah, Jackie, I can't stop bro. Hey, if he's a bullshit artist, if he's a charlatan, that. That's Zachy's journey. Yeah, that's Zachy's not yours. Yeah, Zachy, I think he's a bullshit artist.
If he's a charlatan, that means I can be the bro again.
Broding, calm down.
Such a hierarchy.
Fuck, I'm sorry, I'm a bit mad at you.
You're a charlatan.
You know what's happened?
What?
You've turned into the personification of a high pressure host.
You are the high pressure host.
It's become you.
You've been so mad at the high pressure hose this whole time.
That you're putting a high amount of pressure on this wellness cunt.
Yeah, I'm like, I'm just trying to do my day job here.
I mean, come on.
You seem pretty stressed.
I seem pretty stressed.
This is going to sound crazy, guys, and stay with me.
I know we're a couple of blocks, and love punch punch a wall to get through it and mud
Rocks and mud top five men things. Let's go. Okay, table tops table tops
Sandra Sully punch in your own head punch your head
Christmas Christmas gifts Christmas gifts receiving not giving
Receiving not giving No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, No, no, no, you're upset. I'm feeling cool. Mark's fine. He's actually doing pretty well I tell you're upset though. You're very awesome. I'm not fucking upset. You just don't point my face. I'm sorry
That was I know a wellness coach. Oh
She taught us movement at university her name is Alice
Would you like me to get her in yes, yeah Yeah. Okay. Is that cool? Yeah. Yeah.
Luckily I've emailed her because I knew that you emailed her in advance. Yeah, and now she's coming through the door right now.
Please welcome Alice. Hi
Hi, my name is Alice and I am from
South Melbourne, but today I'm from you. Oh, okay. You're from me. I am from a south Melbourne, but today I'm from you.
Oh, okay.
You're from me?
I'm from you?
What?
And you're warm.
I'm my womb.
I hear your also wellness catch.
Yeah, for sure.
Absolutely.
I've been doing it for 10 years.
And I love it.
Fantastic.
What's your name?
Guys, what do I say?
Say your spirit name.
Say the spirit name of your spirit name.
Oh, okay.
I'm Gwyneth Paltrow.
Hello, Gwyneth Paltrow.
Did you know I actually met Gwyneth Paltrow's Dartition?
I was working as a movement practitioner in New York City.
Oh, the Big Apple.
Not the city.
Yeah, it's referred to as the Big Apple.
That's just by locals.
I've spent a bit of time there.
Well, you're really well cultured.
Yeah, yeah, actually.
It's really nice to see.
That's what they call him butter. That's what they call him butter. To see you too.
That's what they call him butter.
Because he's a...
Because he's a well-cultured.
You had butter on toast?
Sometimes, I don't know, I'm kind of shy like that.
Boys, I need to just stop farting.
Sorry.
You're farting.
We've been...
We've been at each other's place.
Sorry.
Farting or farting? No, farting. We've been at each other. Sorry.
Fighting or farting? No, farting. I see these boys, they come in here with all the suppression. Are you talking about like, yeah, yeah, he's talking about fighting. He said we came in with aggression.
Like that? No, I'm talking about farting. I'm seeing a lot of boys farting all over the class.
Okay.
Two boys having a fart over here, two boys having a fart over there.
Some boys are even farting into themselves.
Are you talking about when you swallow your farts?
Now I'm talking about when one more farts themselves.
What's it called in a lady farted out of her vagina?
Quiff. A quiff. I used to vagina? Quiff, quiff, quiff.
I used to get confused with quiff and quiff.
We gotta go on a break.
Okay, oh.
Hi.
Welcome to Alice Corner.
If you need to do some improvisational music movement,
do it with me, Alice.
That was the ad. Ah, and back from the ad. Thank you, bro. And Alice. That was the ad.
Ah, and back from the ad.
Alice, can we have names?
Spurred names. So we've got Gwyneth Peltro, which I think is a fantastic name.
Gwyneth moves like, like nothing else. If you've seen her move in one of her films.
Yes. In Sliding Doors, she kind of moves in and out. A beautiful film,
I went to see that film with my boyfriend at the time. He's 10 years younger than me.
He's my toy boy. You must have a lot of fun with him. Oh, yes, he calls me his silver fox Laddie. I imagine are you keeping up with him?
I have to, no, he's keeping up with me.
Yeah, for I'm a movement practitioner.
Before we make love, I do a self-futumasage with my elbows.
If you don't have time to do a full stretch
before you're my club to your younger partner,
the best trick is to do a foot massage.
That will align yourself and then you can fuck for hours.
And women reach their sexual peak
much later in life than men is in that right winner.
I think so, yeah, usually after a while
you have to take a whole bunch of ayagarin
and try to picture your dad.
What?
I mean, exercising and a lot of water helps.
Right boys?
Yeah.
Yeah.
We're just a bunch of boys.
Oh God.
Anyway, you're going to the palatro.
Can I pick my name?
Sure, but do make sure that someone I've met
at the Big Apple.
Well, I was.
I just said the Big Apple before and you're mad at me.
Yes, but you're referring to New York City.
I was referring to a large apple here, right?
I live it.
Yeah.
Is it hollowed out?
I'm a movement practitioner that lives in a large apple in South Elbow.
Right.
No, it's not hollowed out.
I just borrow wherever I need to go.
So you do eat it?
You have to eat your hair? No, it gives me a sick tum because of the weird age. I just borrow wherever I need to go. Did he eat it?
Did he eat your hair?
No, it gives me a sick tum because of the gay age.
He might be from Clevver's.
Yeah, it's a fructose.
I think it's more of a pahachthang.
Right.
But have you seen Jurassic World?
Have I ever?
Yeah.
No.
You've not seen Jurassic World.
I haven't.
Like I said, I'm just a tiny little lying bitch. But you're just from a small town, that's not your fault.
Where did you grow up?
I grew up in Flumptent.
It's a little town in West Coast, New South Wales.
Tell me about Flumptent.
Well, Flumptent is kind of pretty.
It's got trees, birds, little babies flown around.
It's got one big supermarket where you can get your money,
you can get carrots, a gingerbread,
and even a little bit of a
little bit of a little bit of a birds, little babies, flown around. It's got one big supermarket where you can get
your money, you can get carrots, a gingerbread, and even a ghost job. That's our
famous dish, ghost jobs. Wow, that sounds so interesting. I've not been to the
country myself, I'm a city girl, but tell me, when you go to the country, did you encounter bullies?
Kind of okay, let's be real here. Yeah every day of my life. It's like I wake up
I'm like who am I? I work into high school. I look at every face. They all look the same to me
But they're looking back at me and they're saying you're a cunt
You're a cunt. You're a cunt. And I say, hey, don't touch me.
Wow. What a wonderful, that's beautiful. It is. And you've touched Meg, Gwyneth Paltra.
He's touched Meg. No, his touched Ma. Meg Ryan. No. Have you touched Meg Ryan?
I did once in high school, you know.
Really?
That would have been very nice.
So you've very soon seen...
I'll have what she's having.
So, Broughton, what was your spirit, animal, man?
Broden, the lady lover.
Okay.
I'm sensing a lot of need to push sense of sense.
Now when you do that, why go on the bus, Sir?
Take a call.
What?
Now Bradham, when you go on the market, Mark, it's just a child.
You put in a bigger, you know what I'm saying, Quann?
Yeah, when you take the big chair.
Yeah, you put it on, oh, I'm brought.
I got Mac Lasage, a Kanama,
and I sat to your na, but ya.
What do you say? What do you say?
I say, when you roll a joint. Roll it, but to yaaah. What do you say, what do you say? I say, when you like roll, roll, roll a joint.
Roll, roll a joint.
Roll out a joint.
I don't, I don't do drugs.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, drugs.
Not drugs.
Like, not fucking listen.
Like a joint bank account.
Yeah.
When you roll out a joint bank account with your lover.
Lover, yeah.
He says, don't do it.
Don't do it.
But then he says, yaas.
Yes.
I was only seeing it as relevant.
Well, you obviously haven't been with a younger man
He has to cope up with the man
He's based on a real person we know anyway
Mark what's your spiritual? My spirit animal name?
Yeah, so not my spirit animal.
Boas.
I don't think we should have thanked him.
We've got a funny guest here.
One of the funniest purple would know.
And he's just looking at us like, oh no, I shouldn't have thanked him.
Okay, when I said bleeding eyes, I really meant that.
And also bleeding anus.
I mean, a big ol' gaping bleeding anus.
Here's to all that undead on a lover,
how the hell of anus content.
I think you guys, okay, there's two fucking wellness people
here and I feel more stressed than before.
Well, that's on you, man.
That's on you.
I'm feeling chill.
I'm feeling really good. I'm feeling really chill. I'm feeling stressed them before. Well, that's on you, man. I'm feeling chill. I'm feeling really good.
I'm feeling really chill.
I'm feeling grud.
I think, do you know what I think's happened?
I think you've turned in to the high pressure hose.
You've turned into the...
You said that already.
Now, what I think's happened is,
is you've become the personification
of a high pressure hose.
Yeah, great.
Now, what do I do about that is,
when I'm asking two wellness coaches,
one can't who insists that he's chill.
You know, Mark, you could be a wellness coach.
Yeah. You think, you know, me and Gwyneth, we were talking earlier about maybe starting a
federation or union of wellness coaches and you'd be the perfect foot for the CFO.
Yeah. CFO. Yeah. We need someone to run the finances.
God does me and Gwyneth are terrible.
The last time I spent money, I sold my kids.
Oh, my God.
Topical Gwyneth Paltrow.
Hi.
Let me tell you, have you sent into the cut with Meg Ryan?
Into the cut.
Yeah, you're talking about Magrihan before.
I thought I'd make a reference to the film
that Nelly destroyed her career.
I don't think there's any comedic potential in this.
So I'm going.
Well, I'll say yes.
I found the fact that we can get back on that.
Yeah.
We did a show in America once.
Young men came up and said I really enjoyed the show.
Fanned out later.
Meg Ryan's fucking son.
True story.
Oh, I don't remember that.
True story.
I don't remember that at all.
That, yes, but it is true.
Is it?
Yes.
When?
Oh, if I go into more details,
it will make us not be able to keep this in the podcast.
But just trust me,
Meg Ryan's son came to our show once.
Did he like this?
Yes, very much so. Brian Hans's son came to our show once. Did he like it? Yes, very much so.
Brian Hansen also come to our show once.
So, the Frank Zappers daughter?
Yes.
Alright, let's list all the celebrities.
Okay, go.
Erich Idol?
Erich Idol came to our show.
Cameron Woodhead.
Oh, love it.
Dylan Moran.
Dylan Moran.
Mikey K. Hill.
Mikey K. Hill.
Nui? Mike Hussin. Brodyn's mum. Dylan Moran. Mikey K. Hill. Mikey K. Hill. Newy?
Um, my cousin.
Brodyn's mum?
Leon?
Leon?
Leon?
Cairns of the show?
Eleniel Vertis.
Eleniel Vertis.
And Tyno?
Bobcat Goldplate.
Tyno came to the show?
Tyno?
What about some more, um, um, unknown, unknowns?
Uh, plenty of unknowns.
Thousands of unknowns come to our show. Every day. Every day. Every day thousands of people come. They come. I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, know, I know, I know, I know, know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, know, I go, I have reached in my time.
I have reached Nevada.
We're dead.
I have reached Nevada.
I said Nevada, didn't I?
I have reached the happiness plateau of Nevada.
Wow.
What do you say?
Osweus.
I see desert.
The true meaning of a wasteland and pleasantness.
Oh my, I am in a absolutely dumb, absolute state of Nevada.
I feel so close to Nevada too.
Help me get there.
I'm scared.
Zach, Patrick.
Oh, Mark. Yes.
I have transcended podcast.
Brody, I'm with you.
I too have reached Nevada.
Patrick. Patrick.
You're afraid?
No, this is Patrick. Patrick. You're afraid? No, this is...
Patrick.
I'm just...
Patrick, come to me.
Look at me.
I'm looking into your eyes.
And I'm saying...
Yeah.
I'm saying it, Brian.
What do you fear most?
I kind of fear.
I kind of fear myself. See yourself. No. Look at yourself. No, no, no.
Do you see yourself? Do you see yourself? Yeah, I see myself. It's broken. I don't guess, brodansen.
Huck yourself and whisper into yourself's ear.
Yeah.
It's okay.
Patrick.
Yes, brodansen.
Where are you?
I'm in the womb
Okay
Get out of there. Wait did I take the wrong
I don't have a mic
Get that mic out of there. I'm scared.
Get that mic out of there. Please tell me.
I can't see it. Oh god
Hang on
You fucked up there. I know I think I was lost. I think I'm scared. It's try again. Yeah
Where are you?
I mean the big apple close close
No, so that it's come on
Come on, you can do this. Let's just enlightenment. Okay, which big apple so unclear
city Enlightenment, huh? Okay. Which big apple is so unclear? Everyone. Yeah. The city, Alice's proud.
Zach, where are you?
When I need a moment.
Can I tell you what I see?
Yes. I see desert.
I see pure enlightenment.
Yes. I see portable structures
filled with sex workers.
Yes.
I see peace in my heart.
Tell us where you are.
Oh my God, guys, I'm in Nevada.
Oh, not yet.
Not yet.
You gotta wait your turn.
We gotta do the whole thing again.
I mean, I'm glad you got there.
Sorry, I just, the train just came in and pulled up,
but sorry, my mic. did you hear that train?
Yeah, that was me. So this is the loudest day we've ever recorded a podcast
Anyway, you're at Nevada. I'm in Nevada. I've reached a Nevada guys guys
Have you reached Nevada? I feel a sense of oneness with myself.
But are you in Nevada?
I'm telling you.
And by oneness, I mean, I feel like I just won a game of craps.
For I have reached Nevada.
You have reached that true space
that all of us hope to be one day.
Nevada.
Puchuk.
Yes, bro, minced.
How do you feel?
Did you just come? Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know.
They're talking gummy candy stuff.
Why do you made such a mess?
Patrick, Patrick, I'm just such a mess.
I'm kind of slipping over it a little bit.
So I just want to just move out.
Just give it a second.
Oh, but...
Patrick, that's okay.
Sometimes we come on our journey to Nevada.
That's okay.
That's just a bodily reaction to a spiritual journey.
I just come to that. I just come to do. I did a come. What do you see, Patrice? I see a shadowy figure.
Is it Jesus? Kind of like Jesus, yeah. Long hair, long flowery skirt, a pencil thin mustache,
holding an umbrella.
It sounds like a gun.
Ah, but it's my cunt.
It's your cunt?
It's my cunt.
Coming towards me, and it's warm again.
Everything feels safe. Mm. Now it's stroking my face.
Wow. And it's gently touching the tip of my nose. Go with a Patrick going.
I'm saying. And saying, you're going to make it killer. You're going to make it.
No. Sorry. No, no, that's fine. I'm ready. I've been ready Patrick. Where are you?
Nevada.
Yeah, you're Mark. Yeah.
Buddha spoke of Nevada many years ago. In his writings and teachings, he sat under a small tree gave up the wealth of the palaces and spoke of a place
that you could reach whether rich or poor via root 66.
Mark, my humble humble my poor. Are you willing to relinquish all wealth?
No, I mean yes, no. I need some money. How am I gonna buy a snack?
Forget that you all live on a simple rice. Right. Okay, I could do that like rice.
Ma, dear. Are you ready to put on some stretchy pants?
Yes.
Are they provided for me or do I have to pay for them myself?
You pay for them but they are text deductible.
Do you have after pay?
Yeah, we've got b pay.
You've got visa?
Yes.
Now after pay, after pay is away, where I don't have to commit to the full amount right now
It's sort of gets to what I pay for it in smaller increments over the period of a month
You got we got B pay, but do you have after specifically? Do you have after pay?
We'll talk about what's a lady do you talk about it later? Well, I just I can't commit to the stretchy parents
I'm on a tight budget.
You're gonna really crush all of that.
I'm gonna relic with my fixed income.
Yeah, you're gonna fuck it all off.
The only way to truly reach Nevada is to give up human wealth
at the poker table or catch a plane.
Catch a plane. Or cut off your hair and give it to a man down
the street. What? Take off your shoes. Okay, put your feet up. Do a little dance.
I'm dancing. Oh my god, I'm dancing. I feel like a little toy ballerina in a music
box. I'm coming. Yes. It's okay. That's just part of the journey too much
Come here. I feel like my ankles are a quarter inch deep in in just a layer of calm now
I
Feel like I'm at a blue light disco
Mark
As you move on this journey
Remember that Nevada is not a place in the traditional
sense of the world.
It's a state of mind, a state of being, and a state in the America.
How do you feel?
I feel... Rebunkships, I feel...
...Jovial.
Yes.
I feel like I want to put a...
I feel I want to pick up a guitar and play a...
...rock and roll song in front of my friends and family.
Oh, that's Navana.
I see no one to go to that.
Yeah, sorry.
I don't want to get a Navana.
That goes to a dead place.
Right, right.
Right.
I don't want to get an avana that goes to a dark place right right
That the ocean is that the waves or is that just my mind being free or all
Problems issues anxieties anger's fears And bring that to a close.
Wow.
Wow.
And that's the end of this week's episode.
I feel like I'm actually in Nevada.
The twist here was,
you were the spiritual God.
Oh, wow.
All right, Mr. M. Nights,
Shemelunst.
Regular M. Light, Shemelun here.
Regular Lady in the Water over here.
Regular Village over here.
What's happening?
It was almost like you had a sixth sense.
Am I breakable?
I thought the three of us, we established early on the three of us, was the spiritual
guys.
It did.
It was brutal.
Like, is what happened was a kind of split. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, I think I gave away the twist. He's done something, he's doing something for Apple TV. At the blind.
That's science.
That's good.
That's the one.
You were the sign.
You talking about 90s directors career revivals.
So I'm a bit excited about it.
Oh sorry.
Sorry, no.
And you're on a really good thing there,
but I just want to ask.
No, that's fine.
That's the wind one.
The wind one.
That happening.
That's the happening.
That one I can't figure out whether it's a comedy or not.
Genuinely. Is that the one where there's like the plants kill people? Yeah, it's my plan. Yeah, the plans fight back. Mark Walberg.
So sorry, I was I was going a little off topic.
That's the end of this podcast. Is it worth saying?
Yeah, it's not worth saying.
Yeah.
Martin, do you know what I'm going to say?
Pardon? Do you know what I'm going to say?
I think I know what you're going to say.
What did you think I was going to say?
I knew you're going to say, let's kick back,
get a couple of Twinkies.
That's exactly what I was going to say.
And then I was going to go on like a 20 minute thing
where we're all eating Twinkies.
I hate that too. That's that we can do next
In another podcast maybe next week
Put that in your head maybe next to it is next week as we kick back at a swing kiss
We're bankin
Patrick
You're fucking hilarious urine. What's your you're in a show if you listen to the on a wolf podcast
six months ago
You guys are in a duo together. Yeah, well, they're very good-looking initiative. Yeah
Yeah, well, yeah, we're doing a show called poopy tumtums
Which was in Melbourne fringe nine months ago. Yes, so when we bank to them. Yeah, you're about to do the show
But now it's too much and it's's your long gone, but we'll be late in over here. I'd say you guys, Jude and Jude Pearl, both of these shows see it coming in festival.
That's Broden's list. I don't want to encroach on anywhere else, the list.
It's not my list.
I'm sure you are on their list too, but you are so fucking funny.
Thank you. Worth seeing and spending your hard earned on.
Sorry, I made a joke.
I just, sorry, I need to come clean.
I need to just clear the air.
Earlier today, Patrick, I made a joke about you not being on my list of shows to see at
the Melbourne International Comedy Festival.
I don't know if you noticed, it was a bit of a throwaway gag.
It was a gag. You
are one of the shows to see at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival and any festival.
You're a riot. You remind me of us when we were younger, not exactly in what you're doing.
You're original. You have your own voice, but in that passion and drive, I know a lot
of people talk to us. We're playing slightly bigger rooms now. I don't
want to blow myself up, but slightly bigger rooms now. I don't want to blow myself up,
but slightly bigger rooms, particularly in Australia,
and New Zealand, and the UK,
and the eastern west coast of the US.
I slightly bigger rooms than we used to.
You don't bring this to a close?
Yeah, no, no, no.
And a lot of people say,
God, I wish I could have seen you
in those slightly smaller rooms.
Who says that?
I've had people say, God, imagine seeing,
I would have loved to have seen you in the hundred seaters, in the 50 seaters. Never once in a lifetime, I've had people say, God, imagine saying, I would have loved to have seen you in the,
in the hundred seaters in the 50 seaters.
Never once have I had anyone say that.
I've had someone say that to me and I said,
well, he shows one person.
Well, I'm trying to make a point here.
I'm trying to apologize to Patrick.
I'm trying to promote.
I just want to just clarify one person said that to you once.
Uh, no, maybe no one said it to me.
It's not really the point. The point is,
if you're making it up, no, just if you've ever thought,
God, I'd love to see Auntie Donna,
when that, which no one knows.
That's not true, but I often think that.
Let me put this in.
Let me put this in a different way.
There are, and if I'm talking for you,
honey.
Oh honey, this is not real.
Hi.
Go see these guys before they're massive.
No, not that bad.
Okay, we're not that fat.
Yeah, they're thinking of that big.
So, you don't know that.
No, you're in your 20s.
That's not what I'm saying.
You're in your 20s though, yeah?
Yeah, I'm 21.
And yeah, you're 21.
No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
Yeah, I want to.
But what I'm just saying, when you're 30, you're blow up.
You do.
Literally like, you're the type of person.
I'm 10%.
Yeah. It's already going downhill from here. You're going to be a fatty. Literally high, high metabolism. I'm too late. Yeah.
It's already going downhill from here.
You're going to be a fatty.
You're going to be a hot fringe act.
Oh, yeah.
I'm going to be doing fringe for 50 years.
And I like it like that.
I never finished my point.
And I just said,
Broden spoke for me and it was a little bit rude.
Yeah, it was so off topic as well.
You're not guilt-free here, I, the Patrick.
Excuse me.
Yeah, you fucked up a lot, man.
Yeah, okay.
I feel like everyone in this room's been upsetting
Zachiseph for me.
I've just been helping him along with you.
You're cool, dude.
You've been with me, brother.
I appreciate that.
Patrick, what I've been trying to say to the audiences,
go see these guys before they blow up.
Yeah.
They are gonna be huge.
They are gonna be really exciting.
What you're doing with Honour Wolf is some of the funniest stuff
I've seen in years and you're gonna blow up you're gonna get really big you're gonna be playing big rooms
Go see them before they blow up guys
Because people said people have said to me many times they wish they'd seen us when we were in those smaller rooms
I don't anyone's ever said no, no they have, many people have come up to me and they've said,
I really are like, when you guys were doing the Portland
hotel, I wish that I got to see it when it was raw
and smaller and less people and my name had been coming.
And that passion, you weren't dead behind the eyes.
What I'm trying to say is,
honor and Patrick aren't quite dead behind the eyes yet.
They're still excited by their art.
They're not bankin' them.
Like we are.
Do you bank your podcasts?
What, yes.
Every day. No, we don't have one yet
Well, you sure it's so fun. Yes, it's it's on the things to do list
It's the best time you just
Think if you record and let the good times roll if you're going away for a few months
Do you know a little trick sometimes people think oh go on a wife for a few months?
Do I have to record while I've gone away?
This is good We go a little trick, sometimes people think, oh, I've gone away for a few months, I have to record while I've gone away.
This is a good thing, this is good.
A little trick, you can bank them.
You can bank them.
Another good little trick.
And it doesn't get in the way of the quality at all.
And if you go on a way for overnight,
you get a plastic glove, right?
You put your shampoo, your face washer,
just a little bit in each finger,
get a hot knife, right?
And then just seal the tips of the fingers on the
glove with the hot knife. You've got yourself a little takeaway with all your little things
in there that you need to travel for.
Hi, that's a little trick for you when you're into it.
Have you done that?
No, yeah, no, absolutely not.
Did you see it on Instagram?
I saw it on Tasty.
That's not Tasty, it's very, very, not tasty. That's more of a five minute craft.
No, I saw it on tasty.
Tell us Patrick.
Now I want to hear more of this DIY.
This pod isn't going to come out until November.
What's your socials?
How can people keep track of what you're doing,
find out when you're coming to a city near them?
Oh, I'll turn it.
Well, you can find me on Patrick HDS.
Actually, I don't even know my Instagram.
I've got Instagram, but you can look at the very good looking initiative.
You'll find us all there.
Very Googleable name.
Yeah, oh yeah, and so easy to remember.
And find out.
Yeah, the very good looking initiatives.
Yeah, it's very easy on the tongue.
Oh, sorry, go.
And the palate and the lips.
I'm going to end it.
So you're going to end the pot. No, I just, well, I think it's time to on the tongue. Also I go in the palate and the lips. I'm gonna end it. So you're gonna end the pot?
No, I just, well, I think it's time to end the podcast now.
I'm gonna end it, don't worry about that, bro.
I think it's time to end the podcast now.
With a little Beatles track.
Every, every, yes you know Patrick is the thing.
Every episode we ask, every guess what their favorite
Beatles song is and then we close it out with that Beatles song. So you chose
Lady Madonna. Yeah. Thank you Patrick and we'll see you guys next week. Thank you.
Lady Madonna. I'm tired a your way Pat. The time of sound trends and I'm your whole safe feet. I love my sample
Time in baby can't
Yeah
My little bit mdanked and I'm gonna take you down to my shed and bring you in the smoke
Fuck my wife
Take me out. This is the kind of life.
This is what podcast life is all about.
No, it's a song.
Yeah, I wrote to help them write them.
Did you really help them write them?
I was like an independent producer, right?
I dabble in somewhere else.
You helped the Beatles write this song.
Bring it back.
Hey, little baby.
Touch me on my face.
Don't forget my dad's outside
and hey, don't be disgrace cuz you gotta take it out
Yeah, you gotta put it in
Cuz it's whole time I think when I've pelcher and I'm here in the big apple whoa
Break it down now
I break it down now. These are the lyrics. Oh shut up
I've been missing for years.
I've been missing for years.
I don't ruin the fucking good time, don't you?
You always gotta ruin the good time.
Guys, I light again.
Bring it back.
Tiny little sister.
Put me in the couch.
Let's take a little nap and have this all about.
Because I'm going to the paltry.
And I'm in the Big Apple!
Yeah!
Come on, Jude, come on, Frank, that's the Beatles,
that's all their names.
Tuesday.
I don't think you wrote for the Beatles at all.
Zag, again, I like to you.
I'm not a singer, I'm not a producer.
What?
What?
As I said, I'm from just a little country town.
All I know is that it's mine
We're about to put out all the children
Put them back to school. Yeah, make them have an education because learning is really cool
Oh, wow my sister once told me that she's she she fell out of a car and she's I'm badly hurt
But she's making recovery and hopefully tomorrow she'll be out.
Thank you.
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