Aunty Donna Podcast - Podcast Ep 202 - LAN PARTY 4
Episode Date: June 9, 2020It's the morning after the LAN PARTY! patreon.com/auntydonna haventyoudonewell.com Auntydonna.com  Join The Aunty Donna Club: https://www.patreon.com/auntydonnaSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy... information.
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Oh, you're on.
You're on.
You're on.
You're on.
So I'm the first one up.
I don't know what to do.
Just to catch everyone, just to catch people up.
No one's lit.
So I'm here at Broden's LAN party.
He played into the night and then we slept over.
I was going to go to a wee.
I was yawning too, should I not be awake?
No, that's okay.
Hi, I didn't realize you were awake, hey Mark.
You just, it's just that you said you were the first one awake
and I didn't want to, I didn't want to impede
on what you'd said, but yeah, technically
that wasn't actually accurate. No, I just, I didn't, I didn't, I thought you were just you'd said, but yeah, technically that wasn't actually accurate
No, I just I didn't he I didn't I thought you were just like yawning in your sleep sort of thing So I don't think people do that, but yeah
Okay, sorry about that. I didn't realize that um, so I'm I just thought I'd I just normally I'm awake before everyone else
I just thought that had happened, but that's okay. I'm actually a pretty early riser, too
But I think Broden's still asleep
He's like good morning gentleman. Oh there is he's awake speaking.
Broden, speak of the absolute devil we were just talking about.
I just went up, got up for a 15k.
Oh really? How come you still in your silk boxes?
I tend to run in the underpants that I've slept in as a way to limit the amount of laundry that mum needs to do.
Yeah.
Generally speaking, that's what I'll do.
Was it a similar walk?
Both.
It's a facial.
I do cross-country running, so what I'll do, let me break down for you. Sort of like an iron band. Is I'll run down to, I'll run like at full sprint,
like just like a low weight, low high intensity training.
And then I'll jump into the creek
and do a few kilometers of swimming and then back up,
have a shower, you know, have some protein.
You're probably a bit better off.
How come you're not mussely then?
Why aren't you mussely?
I've worked on course.
You used to talk a lot about all this.
It's like AFL training.
So when you look at an AFL player, you actually don't see their muscles,
but what, inside there's an incredible strength.
So if you were to challenge me now,
there's you'd have little chances of surviving.
Well, you'd have to put it bluntly.
I wouldn't want to challenge you now. You actually have a morning glory, which is a...
That's actually not stiff. That's me not stiff.
That's actually me flaccid, which is, you know,
not to brag, but...
It's pointing out.
Yeah, but that's actually just the curvature.
Oh, okay. Well, that makes sense,
because I was wondering why I was so small.
No, that makes sense if that's not to brag.
And I don't want to talk about length of penis size.
It's like childish in my IMO, IMO show.
Okay.
But like we don't, I don't need to compete in that realm.
Well, thank you.
Yeah, thank you.
It's just you talk about your penis size a lot.
So it's interesting that you're saying that you don't like to talk about I don't want to like challenge anyone here or anything
It's just that like last night
It was like a good two hours where you were talking about your penis length and and how that how that we were probably
Like measuring from the from the back of our balls and you actually have to measure from from from yeah
I remember the discussion.
You don't remember.
But here's my response today,
is if I'm prompted I'll answer.
So, yeah, but will I remember last night
when we went to the Blink 182 website
and we went on the chat page?
Yeah.
And basically, you just kept saying
how big your penis was to all the girls on there
and it wasn't really prompted.
And I think if, like, if, I think he'd be like,
I mean, I know they're like childish and stuff
and I know they do like childish humor,
like come out and like be good.
I see that I think they're childish.
I don't think they're childish.
I think they're actually working in an interesting realm
of music, chat, like challenging.
Yeah, there's that line in one of this songs where he says,
like grandpa, seven hot dogs, and he's shitty spants. And once I'm shitting his pants.
Which is, is juvenile humor to me like I'm all like like smart stuff like
frown, Murray and stuff. Stuff that's like really top-tier like intellectual
kind of. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know my favorite comedy? Like my favorite sort of...
Is it Veggie Tales? No, Veggie Tales is like for kids,
it's just actually pretty cool as well.
My favorite comedy, like I absolutely love seventh heaven.
Like that has some really funny comedy on it.
Yeah, like I know that it's more of a drama,
but like I would say like a touch by an angel is like the bigger drama.
But like seventh heaven for me,
like when the kids are being like,
an audience staff,
I think that that and seventh heaven,
I think that that and that.
I sort of always presume this was set in 2005,
so we don't know that.
He's a great man that day.
Yeah, I was gonna say, he's awesome.
I think that that and seventh heaven is awesome.
I have to meet him one day.
Yeah, I do too.
He's a great actor and a cool man.
I remember there was one episode where like,
because actually the girls in that show are really hot.
And I remember one of the hot girls in it had a hiki.
And she was trying to cover it from her dad.
And then in the end, her dad wasn't even,
like that was funny, like all the way she tried to cover it,
like with like a turtle neck and stuff.
And the scarf. But then in the end, like he wasn't actually that it, like with like a turtle neck and stuff and the scarf.
But then in the end, like he wasn't actually that mad,
they just had a conversation and it was actually really funny.
Yeah, I think what you guys will find when you're a little bit older
is that you're gonna get the new,
I'm older than you.
...spawn some comedies.
I'm older than you, but I think two months.
And what you'll find when your maturity age grows,
like because that's not necessarily correlated
from when you came out at Dappus, it's more like about your maturity age grows, like because that's not necessarily correlated from when you came out at Dappus.
It's more like about your maturity of age
and the books you read and things like that.
And what I think you'll find a little way down the track
is that shows like scrubs
which are working on multiple levels
or actually like the funnier ones.
So like you won't find an episode of scrubs
where they're not doing really funny,
like childish stuff at the same time.
There's like, there's lives at the same time there's like
There's lives on the line and there's actually a bit of thought behind it I watch a lot of like John Stuart's that like they're really funny as well like news news shows as well
All the funny when you know what's going on
Yeah, anyway
Breakfast
Yeah, I guess we can out I'm still super pretty pissed. Why are you pissed man?
I'm still T.O.D. from yesterday. Oh, what about? Oh, just my non-nose, my non-nose.
You remember when I told you that she was like making fresh canollies and she had like the pastry
made for her, and she had like custard and like the vanilla custard, the chocolate custard. Yeah, so I get over there.
I get over there and my fuckhead non-no, right?
Like, love it a death, but she's a fucking,
she's a real fucking dog, right?
She fucking, I'm like, oh, this is interesting,
feeling, what's the essence?
She said, actually, that's ricotta feeling.
And I was like, okay, fuckhead,
that's not actually what I was told,
that's not what I was promised. And then I was like, at, fuck it, that's not actually what I was told, that's not what I was promised.
And then I was like, at least you made the pastry fresh and she's like, actually, that's
store bought.
And I was like, well then you were just a complete, there's no redeeming qualities
about these canollies if I could be totally frank with you.
Can I just ask, can I just ask, like, were you really mad at your non-ner?
Yeah, I was teared, I was really mad.
So it's just like, could that possibly be like,
maybe she didn't have the time to make her own,
like, past your own doing?
What else is she doing?
What else is she doing?
Didn't you say she just got out of the hospital?
Yeah, she got out of the hospital
because her iron levels were low,
she had to go in for a blood transfusion.
But like, and so she was like tired yesterday,
but that was yesterday, it's like,
she wakes up at six in the morning,
every morning.
It's like, what are you doing between the hours of six and 10?
Like that's four hours where you could be making custard
and making canoli pastry.
And I was just like, you're a bit of a fuckhead
and I don't know if I want to talk to her anymore,
but that's just me.
I would say to you, I would say to you,
that's totally fair, I understand where you're coming from.
I would say just wait till your palate evolves a little bit.
You're going to find that ricotta is actually like a really delicious...
It's not about not liking it, it's not about not liking it.
It's a delicious flavor, it's a flavor-
...a flavor-pilot thing for older things like, I'll have wine with fish and chips on a Friday night, my parents are cool with it.
Your parents let you drink wine too.
I think you'll find that like, there's actually a lot more in the world than you're not really seeing right now.
Yeah, well like my take on more and say that's actually quite sick.
So like if you've got any record of it left over, send it my way out a little bit.
Yeah, okay. Well like, okay, a couple things on that.
Number one, my nonell actually makes fresh vino and I'm allowed to have a sip of it every year at Christmas.
And I actually love it. Like it's actually nice for me.
And at the time made made it doesn't have any
Preservatives or like the kind of trash that you're drinking or whatever it is your family. I've tasted it I've tasted your non-usin. It's it's okay. Yeah, it's it's really good
It's actually really good and you don't know if you think it's just okay
Then maybe you haven't had it. It's all right like it's good. Yeah, well like once my
Ex-girlfriend's dad let me have a sip of his $750
my ex-girlfriend's dad let me have a sip of his $750 pentfaults and that was actually not even as good as my
non-nils being. What was it? It was a 1975, it was a 1975, that was the drop. I've had that
I give it like a 4 out of 5, it's not bad, I've had better. I give it a bit good, but
non-nils being I was like 5 out of 5 so I've actually been talking about. I've
actually never had wine before, I've actually never had wine before.
I've actually never had wine.
Some like we drink wine at church, but at that stage
that's actually blood.
But I did drink a bottle of Jack Daniels' Ventures Camp.
What?
A whole bottle.
So I drank it entire bottle of Jack Daniels' Ventures Camp
and then I had a threesome.
Well, who?
Who? Jack Daniels adventurous camp and then I had a threesome well
With just just a couple of friends of mine
That's pretty cool. I guess like we didn't like we didn't do anything that God would disapprove of
So you just did just ask stuff. What's that you just did butt stuff. Yeah
Yeah, I was playing a bit of ass play and self sucking. Those are two things that I like to incorporate into
the bedroom whenever I'm with a
a cheeky babe. And I've got a couple
of cheeks on the go. But anyway, so
what are their names? Gin into
Jones and I've actually I used the day gin into Jones to the cute girl. Yeah, yeah, she's hot and she
Put it up both ways, which is really good. I tell you something. Can I tell you something about my current
Girl, I'm we're on and off with like we're more fuck buddies than anything
She She she goes to Fuck buddies than anything. Um, uh, she,
she, uh, she goes to Methodist Ladies College, right?
I'm not saying that.
I'm not saying that.
That's where all the hot chicks go.
You know what, they're just, they're open to, like, you know,
more stuff.
So like, I've been there and back if you know what I mean.
Well, you've been to MLC and then gone home.
But, Broden, you told me last week that you were a virgin,
you started crying and said you were a virgin.
Yeah, I remember you saying that your force came
just so tight that you had to go into the doctors
last week and get a medical circumcision.
It's like, I don't want to like,
I know that you were saying you didn't want me to tell anyone,
I'm just a little bit confused.
I'm just a little bit confused because, I know you said you didn't want, it's anyone, I'm just a little bit confused. I'm just a little bit confused because,
I know you said you didn't want,
it's just that what you just said to mark
is different when you were crying last week
and saying that you were a virgin
and that you definitely wanted to lose your virginity
by 17 and a half, because that's the average.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And that you were really worried
you wouldn't lose it by 17 and a half.
Two things I'd say to that.
Yeah. One, that was 17 and a half. Two things I'd say to that. Yeah.
One, that was last week.
Okay.
Two.
Yeah.
Have you had sex between last week and now?
Has your...
Let me put this world from the surgery.
Let me put it this way.
I've had a busy week.
At the hospital?
I've just...
I've never had sex. I'm actually love like I'm a virgin. I'm a virgin and I'm
really proud of that. You said you had a threesome just before. Yeah but it wasn't it. I guess it wasn't
real count if it's not vaginal. Yeah. I think I think what I'm going to do is say, quite the conversation back to Breakfast.
Brody, tell me about Breakfast.
We've got heaves of stuff you can have for Breakfast.
Can we?
I like to name each of the Breakfast Serials.
I've got after women I've bedded.
OK.
Why don't you just name them after their names?
Like Corn Flakes.
I could do that for you.
You have a different name for Corn Flakes. So Shannon is what you call Corn Flakes. You can do that for your own personal life. But do you have a different name for Corn Flakes?
So Shannon is what you call Corn Flakes.
Is Shannon your grade three girlfriend?
The girl you dated in grade three?
For a time, yes.
But that's not saying that that's when we were, when I fucked.
Did it happen in the last week?
I've got Fruit Loops, which I call Jane. Who's Jane? Just a woman I've
been in. I don't know of this. It's just you're lying. It's just you know, tell me I
need to stand up for myself last night. You said that I'd need to stand up for
myself and like step up when I you know and I just think that you might be lying Broden. Well yeah because I remember last night when we were
drawing pictures of naked women. When we were when we took out your art book
Broden and we started drawing naked women's physics and then your dad walked in
and and and he saw that and he was like, oh, he's and and he said that thing.
And he said, and he said, oh, gee, bro, then when are you going to get your end in?
Because you hadn't yet.
And I didn't know what that meant at the time, but then I asked that later.
And he said he didn't know either, but then we looked it up.
And I think he meant when are you going to actually like get your end, get the end of your penis
into a hole of some sort
on an other person.
I'll just say this, right?
What dad don't know, don't hurt him.
Okay.
Look, you're just thinking of a lot of vagarities.
You're saying some vague things and I don't understand.
Vagisms.
Vagisms, right?
Because it's just like I thought we were really connecting last week when you cried
And said you hadn't had sex yet. I don't do that. It's just it's a real shame that I feel like you're lying again
And I just I don't know who you are
Let me put it this way. Let me put it this way, dude. Hey, dude.
Dude, what do you want for breakfast? I can get mum the whip up whatever you want. We can have pancakes.
We can have co-cup pops.
Do you have American style hash?
No, my mum doesn't know how to make American style hash.
What's American style hash?
Like hash browns, but done in the style of an American's.
We can walk to Mac as and get some hash browns.
No, no, no, that's not the last thing I see.
Those are like, I see stuff.
I like the like hash potato where No, no, no, no, that's not that's like I see those are like I was the stuff I like the like hash potato where it's like you know ground up like shaved potato little pieces and fried
them up. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now.
I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now. I You went to America once, like four years ago, and you haven't stopped talking about it.
Well, I'm sick of, I'm sick of broaden lying about
having sex, and I'm sick of you pretending
you're an expert of American culture.
But both of you are so rude and so silly,
and I'm sick of it.
Hey, Jack, chill out, what's your problem?
Chill out, man, yeah, you got it.
I just want to say, all my friends at Ventura
are so much nicer and so much cooler.
And when I change schools at the end of this year, I'm gonna be so happy to see the back of you guys.
You acting like a real man on the, at the moment, man?
That means fuckhead.
That means fuckhead. I don't want to say it, but you're being a fuckhead.
We're good men. That's what I'll tell you right now. You'll not find better men.
Yeah, we're a few good men.
Man, can I? You're not men, you're boys. We're good men. That's what I'll tell you right now. You'll not find better men. We're a few good men. Can I?
You're not men, you're boys. We're boys.
No, you might just want to be a boy.
You might be a little boy, but burdened and I have not had sex.
Right? That doesn't mean I'm not a man.
You will get there though is what I'd say.
I hope my dad saved my mum had an orgasm when I was born.
I don't know what that means.
I don't know why he said that. And I don't know if that counts.
That's when you shoot.
So Brody, tell me about the pancakes.
No worries, but what I will say is, can I just go back to the hash brands for a second?
Yeah. You might have your preconceived ideas of what a good hash brand is.
You have not had pancakes until you've, I mean hash browns,
you have not had hash browns until you've had them with the McDonald's down around the
in my area.
I will try your hash browns.
I will try your hash browns.
And I will try the ones that you think are good.
I will try them and we'll see how they rate on my palate.
I consider that their sausage McMuffin is not the best sausage McMuffin.
Like on the road down to Jalong is actually I think they do better sausage McMuffins
there.
But what I would say is that these guys do the best tatch browns.
There's one of the biggest problems today I think is the inconsistency from McDonald's
to McDonald's.
Like it's deteriorating and it should be taken to parliament where like there's
no guy Mark guy.
No you were talking to Broden.
It's a whisper you can't hear this Mark.
Right in.
I know you really want McDonald's but I'm not allowed cocoa pops.
I'm only allowed cocoa pops for the Christmas holidays.
Coco pops and cream.
McDonald doesn't sell cocoa pops.
But you said there was cocoa pops can we, can we have some Coca-Pops?
You can have some Coca-Pops.
I hope you're weird, you're weird, man.
I'm only allowed musely during school time.
Why?
Coca-Pops is like a Christmas trait.
Christmas trait.
The Christmas trait.
Coca-Pops and green cordial,
because I get really bad.
Yeah, I have some, I have some Coca-Pops.
I have some Coca-Pops. Green Cordial, because I get really bad when I wear them. Yeah, I have some, I have some, I have some Coco Pops.
Oh my God, thanks guys, sorry.
If you want a healthier version,
I recommend Coco Boms from the health section of Coles.
They have more iron.
Yeah, they're better for you.
So Coco Boms from my health.
Oh, I'm fucking Coco Boms.
I am fucking Coco Pops.
Coco Pops and Green Cordial.
Hey, you're just rice bubbles covered in chocolate.
Like, I don't give a fuck what it is, man.
I'm gonna go read Harry Potter.
Bye.
Jesus, he's got problems.
He's got massive issues, man.
I don't know what his problem is.
I just don't tell him we've got pop tarts
or he'll fucking lose his mind.
It's up to you, right?
But if you want to be it with breakfast,
that's cool.
I usually knock back a few with breakfast.
I'll actually, I'll have a bloody Mary if you're making them and not a virgin Mary.
That's actually a bit of juice. If you want to have like yeast with your
breakfast, like that's cool, but that would like create potentially an infection in your
stomach. Because my mum had a yeast infection,
and I'm pretty sure I was from drinking beer,
because I checked the ingredients,
and there's yeast in that.
So if you want to risk that, that's on you,
but I'll stick to a bloody Mary,
if you've got an extra Tabasco sauce.
What is that?
What is that yeast infection?
My girlfriend got a yeast infection.
You don't have a girlfriend. No, my girlfriend from last year My girlfriend got a yeast infection. You don't have a girlfriend.
No, my girlfriend from last year,
she got a yeast infection.
I've got to put half of my penis.
That counts, that means you've...
No, it does not count.
It does, it means you're no longer a virgin.
I am a virgin.
And that's cool, man, it's fine.
But that counts.
Mark, we don't actually have tomato juice,
but what I can do is whip you up.
I got red powerade, and we can chuck some beer
and red powerade in, like a bloody Mary situation.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that could work.
Yeah, yeah, that sounds sick.
No worries.
What do you want, Zach?
Do you want like a cup of tea or something?
I can whip that up too.
Um, no, I'll have the alcohol.
No worries.
Thank you.
I love alcohol.
You have you have had alcohol? Yeah, I drank a bottle of alcohol.
But I've been drinking a bottle of alcohol.
I'm a mistake.
Spirit's adventurous camp.
Every time I go to adventurous camp, I get viciously drunk and do lots of sex things, other than sex.
Well, that just means that you, that's not a point of difference.
By saying, when I went to adventurous means that you've done at the age of 15,
some of the most fucked shit imaginable with your genitals.
Yeah, in a tent.
In a tent.
In a tent. That's that's just what I did
adventurous means. Yeah, yeah, that's what it means is in a tent I did
everything. Everything except the bad things. Which is put the second half of
your penis. The second half. Yeah, the second was that tip in is between the second half. The
white. Yeah, I'm like, I guess by, you know, like it's anyway, listen. I don't know what
say that's the first half. If you were a tech and character, which
taking character would you be? Probably the bear. You don't know the bear's name,
because I'd be kidding.
No, I don't, I don't,
that's the only character name you know, Broden.
No, it's the one I choose.
Name one other character from taking.
I will tell you.
Don't look it up.
I character for taking another problem.
Don't look it up.
I'm not looking up, I'm just looking down.
I'm just looking down.
I don't, I would choose, I'm just looking down. I'm just looking down. I would choose to keep my face.
I don't subscribe to the madness that is taken. It's not intense enough for me.
It's a little slow. I prefer something like Mortal Kombat where there's fatalities and I can like rip someone's fucking spine out and then fuck it.
You sound like a high-hatching machine,ima XX, oh, right back and left.
My favorite, my favorite Tekken character is probably Sub-Zero.
That's more combat. That's more combat.
No, he was, they did that, they did that spin-off where he was in Tekken.
That's like saying my favorite Sony exclusive character is Mario.
It's just wrong, man.
It's just incorrect. it's just not factual.
Zach, I know you really want to be cool and you want to be our friend, but you know,
you just need to be yourself and we're going to rag on you because that's the style of
friendship that we have. Bro and I, we've been developing this for years man. We just like
rag on each other, one up each other, you know, but at the end of the day we're bros
with brothers. You're acting like a real Roger Jr. from Tekken.
I'd see, I don't know that character.
I've never played Tekken.
It's a boxing kangaroo.
But anyway, you just gotta go with the flow, man.
You just gotta like, yeah.
What's that movie with, it's got the guy
from Seinfeld in it.
Be movie. No, no, it's got George from Seinfeld in it. Um, the movie.
No, no, it's got George from Seinfeld in it and I think a chimpanzee.
Shall I help?
And he's trying to run a motel and then he says a swear word even though it's J.
What's that movie?
I don't, I don't know.
That's probably my favorite one.
I don't know, I don't know.
George, George is in it.
Yeah, George is in it. Yeah George is in it.
What are you doing?
I think there's some sort of animal and then he says a swear word even though it's
rated J.
And we were watching it at home the whole family like with my younger brother and stuff
and they said the swear word and I laughed at it and I was like I don't even care that
they said it's a word.
George is in it. Jason Alexander's in it
George I don't know his name. I don't know that the real names of any of them
I don't know film me talking about I have no clue. I watched it on video with my whole family last Friday
Yeah, yeah, and it was G
So like my little brother was allowed
to watch it. And but there was a swear word in it. And it was like it was so crazy. Are
you looking it up? I'm trying. I don't know why I don't know this. I don't know. I love
what I'm felt. I'm not allowed to move on now. I can't move on till I go. What fucking film you're talking about?
Oh, I'm not talking about the legend. It was in the 90s.
Oh, you're talking about Dunston checks in.
Yeah, Dunston checks in.
It's about a chimpanzee that checks into a hotel.
And George is in it. Like, I know I've not seen Seinfeld, but I get a good idea of what George
would be like from the character he plays in this this because he's really upset that Dunston has checked into his
hotel and it's so funny and he's trying to impress the new bosses of the hotel and he sees the
chimpanzee out the window and he says like he says shit I think. You sure? Yeah. Even though it's G. Guys, I am so sorry, I didn't know that.
No, I should have known that.
You get the one that you know, I should have known that.
I should have known that and I didn't know that and I'm sorry.
Hey.
Yeah.
This has been the best LAN party ever.
We didn't play any video games.
No. But we didn't need to. It was't play any video games. No.
But we didn't need to.
It was a coming-of-age story this one.
Yeah, it was pretty fantastic.
And I liked that we watched
being at the Ultimate Disaster movie twice.
Yeah.
It was important that second viewing was important
because you missed the subtle nuances the first time.
Well, I didn't realize it was egg whites
that he was putting on the post that I make.
It looked like a painting.
What did you think it was? I thought it was egg whites that he was putting on the post that I make it look like a painting. What does he think it was?
I thought it was semen.
Yeah, I just thought it was some sort of like turpentine or something.
Mr. Bean is fucking sick man.
Yeah, so he is able to communicate so many comedic ideas without even saying a single word is like God level.
And what I like about it, I wouldn't say that.
The movie is how much he talks because he gets to add an extra level of humor. It's God level. He what I like and I wouldn't say. The movie is how much he talks because he gets to an extra level of humor.
It's God level. He is a God. He is like a God.
He is the comedy comedy. Can I tell you something?
My favorite bit in the bean movie is when they go to the virtual reality cinema and it's
like you're riding on a roller coaster. And then he goes back and fiddles the wires and
gadgets in the thing he uses his skills. Yeah.
And then it comes back out and it goes on the right again and it's crazy.
Like he makes it, turns it up to 11.
Do you remember that bit?
Um, no, I haven't seen Bean movie.
Bean.
Bean.
It was in the movie we watched last night.
No, I don't remember that bit.
Watch it twice. Yeah, but okay guys, it's
time I own up. Are you blind? No. You know when I said I was going to the toilet to do
a poo? Yeah. I went to the toilet to masturbate. Stop confessing. It's just disgusting.
You don't need to tell me this stuff.
Stop confessing that you masturbate.
Every time you masturbate, you confess about it.
Well, I have to tell someone.
Yeah, I don't care.
You don't have to call us midweek,
like every fucking Wednesday,
to be like, I did it again.
It's like, it's cool, bro.
Stop telling everyone that's it. It's like, it's cool, bro. Stop telling everyone does it.
It's you, Wang.
But I'm sorry, I don't know who else to tell.
I mean, I'm wanking two to three times a day.
Tell Jesus, man.
Tell your mom like, you gotta have that kind of relationship
with your parents where you can talk to them about this stuff.
We can't listen to you every time.
It's too much, man.
We missed the bean a bit.
Did they get you excited?
They give you the horn.
No.
It wasn't, Mr. Bean.
I was thinking about someone I have a crush on.
We'll see.
I'm, yeah, okay.
Well, if you go, you know, yeah, I just did that.
Yeah, I have to see you.
Say it. Yeah. Say it.
Say it.
I don't know.
Mine's fine.
I can't tell you.
I can't.
I've got two that I constantly think about.
Yeah.
Claudia Schiffer.
Oh, it's my number one.
Yeah.
Shannon Doherty.
My number one is like celebrities. My number one is like
Piper Peribo from and from Naisha Cuthbert. Nice.
Alisa Duskiew is up there as well for like celebrities because I've
live Natalie Portman in Stullars episode two. I actually find that porn is not
the best way to massively. Usually I just close my eyes and use my imaginations.
Yeah, and that's what I usually have.
Imagination is usually a key to a wonderful world.
I usually have more intense orgasms that way.
It's your favorite masturbation fantasy, but please first you tell us at your top two.
Sorry, do it the way there.
Yeah, thank you.
Sorry.
I would say number one is Elliott from Scrubs. Yeah. And then number two is Marge Simpson.
Oh wow. I've never thought about Marge Simpson in that way because she's a cartoon character.
Yeah, that's also Loa Skryphon. Oh wow. Skryphon is way harder than Leela Simpson in my opinion.
Oh wow. Leela is a cartoon character. I'm not attracted to cartoon characters.
I mean neither am I,
but like if I had to rank them, I could.
Could you?
Yeah, if I had to, but you don't have to.
If I had a gun to my head, I could.
You don't.
It's something I've thought about.
Why?
Because it's like, man, it's like,
when I'm watching, you know, if I get a, I can't control what I'm gonna get a step over and a lot of times
Yeah, it's like lowest comes in she's like Peter and I'm like straight up. Yeah, yeah, you know, what do I do?
I did not deny that. I love that. He's Lila. She's the one I'd, uh, the one I'd freak from.
Freak from Futurama.
Yep, I know that.
Sorry, I just forgot for a second.
Oh, OK, right.
Have you watched Futurama?
Yeah.
Yep.
It's the New Simpsons.
Yeah, I'm allowed to watch both the Simpsons and Futurama.
So that's awesome.
Yeah, I love I mask it to Leela all the time
because I know who that is.
Who are the four characters in South Park?
South Park?
Yeah. So there's Kenny. Yep. And then there's Cartman. Yeah. And then there's
Joe. And then there's Mr. Hanky, the Christmas poo. Correct, but not one of the four.
Well, I think he's my favourite personally. I think of him as one of the four.
Yeah. I love Mr. Hanky, the Christmas poo. Remember when Steve brought, he's
Mr. Hanky, the Christmas poo toy. In grade five, he brought it to school and he
was, we were all pretending to be Mr. Hanky, the Christmas pooh.
And then the teachers took it off him and they said that it was like a South Park band.
That was so cool.
I feel like you're just taking that memory and saying that's how you watch the TV show,
but really you're just calling on that memory where you're new or character's name.
Yeah, that's a fair assessment and that's probably like a good,
a fair assessment of that, but I have seen actually 20 minutes of
American pie, so that's the truth.
That's the truth.
What? Which bit?
From about 10 minutes early, it ejaculates.
That's my favorite bit.
It's sort of from about 10 minutes into about half an hour in.
My favorite bit is that I'm going to see American.
Sorry, go.
No, no, no, no.
Why is there a zoom delay at L.L.
I don't know.
I'm actually probably going to go see American Pie 2 at the cinemas.
Oh wow.
Is that so cool?
Are you even allowed to get in?
Oh no, you're 15 now, aren't you?
So. Yeah, I can pretty much, I might bring a beer in. hour. Is that so cool? Are you even allowed to get in? Oh no you're 15 now aren't you? So yeah I
can pretty much like I might bring a beer in. I'll probably see it at like Palace like an art house
sit in my arena. I get a class of wine. I just I just I just walk up to the I walk in the
any cinnamon hour and I walk up to the person checking tickets. I have a $5 note in my hand,
shake their hands and then I slip them the five dollar note,
and they let me see any movie I want.
R, A, T, G, P, G, M, and this thing.
That's how I saw Rollable, M-A.
Oh, it's just.
That's how I saw Rollable.
And it just like works out, works out a great deal
for both of us.
I could just hear the movie,
I want them to make a bit of cash on the side.
It's just it's a great deal.
Mark, what did you learn about your non-er?
What?
What do I learn about it?
That you know what?
You guys are right.
She's a fuckhead, but that's OK.
Yeah, well, a lot of non-er's are fuckheads.
And that's fine.
Can I ask a real quick question before we wrap up?
Go home. Have any of you guys ever been to Gold Class?
Yep.
Yep.
I tend to see most movies in Gold Class for a second
that I paused, I didn't quite know what,
like what not Gold Class is if that makes sense.
Like, I go, so quite I'll go direct to Sweet if I go
not essential.
Yeah.
You know.
I've been to Gold Class ones before I went with my parents
And we went and watched night at the museum. I got wedges. Yeah
For me it's a bit harder when you're like when you're taking a misses to
To goal classes longer for the reach, you know what I mean?
Okay, yeah, what would it be for?
Like if you're getting a hand job or finger in the cinema. Okay, and you want to
To back it. Yeah, so like it's a bit harder to finger and get hand jobs at the cinema when you
At Gold class because also Wade is coming in and out, you know
It's harder to reach over so like I tend for just like normal cinemas
So like go see fucking fucking, you know, hellboy some shit
Just finger up the back. Yeah, go yeah, go class cinemas are the best cinemas to have sex in though because you can fully
Recline the seats. That's what I found
I thought you said your a virgin
they're lied
I like you a lot because I like because like I didn't want you guys to feel jealous and like sometimes I'm hanging out with you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I like you guys. I as a bit. That's where I do all my fucking.
I think that, I think that like we're all virgins here. So I don't know why everyone's pretending otherwise.
You two are pretending to have had sex.
I'm the only one that's not pretending.
I know I'm admitting that I'm a virgin.
I know I've had sex.
I know I've had sex because I know exactly
what it feels like.
Yeah.
It feels like more of a Bible pie. It feels like more of Apple pie. It does. Yeah, it does. And like, I don't know,
is that like, you must know that too because you're not a virgin, bro. But like, that's
why I know what. Yeah, I know. I've like, I did not have a sexual
role, but it was more condomsize issues. Okay.
What, they were all too big for you?
Quite the opposite, in fact, with Sir. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Like I said my mum had an orgasm when I was born so I don't know whatever
Make up that what you will
I don't know what that means I don't know what that means but that happens so
What's your favorite sex scene in a movie yeah
Probably on a video stuff Yeah. Uh, probably my own video stuff. Yeah?
The stuff I shoot, the little gifts I make on my Nokia.
Oh wow.
I'll send them to you.
Yeah, okay.
No one.
No one.
Cool.
Cool.
Me.
I've got to go.
Yeah.
But I look your mums here.
I look like your mums here. Cool. Cool. Me. I've got to go. Yeah, bye.
Look, your mum's here.
Hey, look.
Like your mum's here.
My mum's here.
Um, I've got a dog.
I've got a dog.
I've got to go work a KFC.
I've got a shift.
Oh, that's cool.
Guys, guys, but before you leave, let's agree.
Let's meet back here in 27 years in case it comes back.
What comes back?
Pennywise. Are you talking about that miniseries
towering John Ritter?
Yes.
Yes.
Have you not seen it, the miniseries?
It's the scariest video ever.
I thought it was kind of funny.
Oh really?
I got so scared when the clown was in the,
it was under the drain and also with John
Rita fought the giant spider.
Didn't scare me, that literally didn't scare me.
You just, you had seen it.
You cannot tell that film, that is the perfect film, you could not remake that film, it's
so good.
John Rita from eight simple rules.
It's John Rita was in it and he goes, there's a bit where John Ritter from Eight Simple Rules.
John Ritter was in it and he goes, there's a bit where John Ritter's like, we have to fight
it and then the music builds and then it cuts to a black screen and then that comes back
chill again and that was the moment I realised there was a mini series on video.
Sick. I always hate you, good sea mark.
Good to see you, Mark. Thanks for the lamp party.
I'm sorry I had to go to my non-no's halfway through it.
Turns out she's a fuckhead.
It's all good though, you know, like,
hey, like you said, bro, me, Casayl Pasta.
So, and I just want you guys to know,
uh, I got the exciting news I was hinting at yesterday, I got permission
from my dad and also my mom, she had to say.
And you guys are welcome to come to my house for a land party sleep over next month.
Oh my birthday.
We'll see.
No, I'd love for you to come.
That's not a question of whether you'd like us to come or not.
This is that we'll see your family's weird.
They don't have cocoa bops.
I don't know, man.
We'll see.
Okay.
It looks like a finite podcast.
We come on a Saturday night.
Next day we'll all go to church.
It'll be so much fun.
Maybe I'll skip the church bit. I might have to work a KFC.
Alright, but we'll see I'll see you guys in a month at my house.
It's a strong maybe from me.
Brodo's a yes from you.
Some we'll see.
Okay.
Bye.
Bye.
This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Okay. Pfff. Pfff. Bye. Bye.
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