Aunty Donna Podcast - Podcast Ep 230 - Broden Gets A Package
Episode Date: December 1, 2020That's right! On today's podcast Broden gets a package, what could it be? auntydonnaclub.com haventyoudonewell.com auntydonna.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.Join The A...unty Donna Club: https://www.patreon.com/auntydonnaSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Get a legends and welcome to another rip episode of the Aunty Donna Podcast.
The Aunty Donna Podcast is a weekly podcast where we improvise and rip out half an hour
of rip out characters and bits.
This week Broden gets a package, the cheeky devil.
Hi, it's me Zach Rewane from the Antudonapodcast.
Hey Zach.
Hey guys.
Today, what I'm gonna do, because we're in week two or three
of our marketing campaign for our Netflix show,
Antidona's Big Old House of Fun.
You know, we're pretty out of ideas, so I just thought
what I'm gonna do is, what I encourage all our fans
to do is, I'm just gonna tell a friend about
our new Netflix show. And I've tell a friend about a new Netflix show
and I've got a friend here
Mr. Italian and bring in your friend
Brick I'm bringing him now. I was trying to converse with you while you're doing that intro sec and I
Feel like you were ignoring me. I was just charging through to the concept
Because this concept isn't that interesting bro. Don't I'm you go get your delivery? going to talk to Mr. Italian man. What do you get? You got some broadcast listeners. I have to
go. You got some crocs coming. I know. He doesn't know. We'll find out. Mark, you got
to leave too, because I've got to tell a friend about the Netflix show, so I'm going to tell
Italian man if that's okay with you. That is fine. Can we discuss Brodyn's muscles? Well, he's not here. Well, he's not here.
I am so jealous of his muscles. Where is he getting them from? Do you know what I thought about?
I could get muscles like that for years. I can't find them anymore. I could get muscles like that.
I've been thinking about getting muscles like that and I've chosen not to. I've chosen not to. I just do low weights
often and the reason why I do that is because if I got muscles with my long hair I would look
exactly like Jason Mammala. Yeah that's true you would. I just don't think I think that would
be more distracting them funny. Well then you wouldn't get any work because Hollywood already has
a Jason Mammala Zach. Well I think I'd get a lot of work because Jason Momoa would go, I guess
in time, I'm not a plastic man. I'm not a plastic man. I'm not a plastic man. I'm not a plastic
man anymore. I'm not a plastic man anymore. I'm not a plastic man anymore. I'm not a plastic
man anymore. I'm not a plastic man anymore. I'm not a plastic man anymore. I'm not a plastic
man anymore. I'm not a plastic man anymore. I'm not a plastic man anymore. I'm not a plastic
man anymore. I'm not a plastic man anymore. I'm not a plastic man anymore. I'm not a plastic
man anymore. I'm not a plastic man anymore. I'm not a plastic man anymore. I'm not a plastic
man anymore. I'm not a plastic man anymore. I'm not a plastic man anymore. I'm not a plastic
man anymore. I'm not a plastic man anymore. I'm not a plastic man anymore. I'm not a plastic
man anymore. I'm not a plastic man anymore. I'm not a plastic man anymore. I'm not a plastic
man anymore. I'm not a plastic man anymore. I'm not a plastic man anymore. I'm not a plastic
plastic man anymore. I'm not a plastic man anymore. I'm not a plastic man anymore. I'm not a plastic man anymore. I'm not a plastic man anymore. I'm not a plastic man anymore. I'm
a plastic man anymore. I'm not a plastic man anymore. I'm not a plastic man anymore. I'm not a
plastic man anymore. I'm not a plastic man anymore. I'm not a plastic man anymore. I'm not a
plastic man anymore. I'm not a plastic man anymore. I'm not a plastic man anymore. I'm not a plastic man anymore. Maybe you could be Jason Mamosa and you'll cover yourself in oranges and that's kind of your stick
Anything I do people would love it because I'm Jason Mungawa. They'd be like oh that's sexy man
He's so big and powerful
That's so cool that it's a that you've made that choice. I just don't I don't want to do that to you guys
Yeah, because I think you'd be like doing some comedy you'd be like
Yeah, because I think you'd be like doing some comedy, you'd be like, ah, back of Wagon!
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then I'd be like, hey, and everyone would be like,
oh my god.
Everyone would be trying to suck and fuck you.
It'd be quite the distraction.
Because everyone tries to suck and fuck mamawa.
Oh man, absolutely.
Yeah, absolutely.
And that's, I mean, for me, I don't wanna do that to you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm a reality comedy. You're such, yeah. I'm a reality of you.
I'm a reality of you.
You're such a martyr.
And in a good way.
Oh, absolutely.
Absolutely.
I'm a martyr in a good way.
Because here's the thing, right?
I would probably, you know, then marry a beautiful woman like Lisa Bonnet.
Yes.
And then the two of us would just, we'd drink beers and there'd be like
pat photos on me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And a Lisa bane type, drinking beers. Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah. And that go and people would be like, oh my god, Jason Mimosa drinks beers just
like everyone else. Sorry, hey, Broden. Guys, I'm back. Fill me in. Sorry, I'm just explaining, sorry, Broden.
Sorry.
Just explaining that I choose not to get big muscles, because if I do, I would look exactly like Jason
Lemawa.
And we were saying that-
You haven't done a character?
No, no.
We're about to get to-
We're about to get to the character.
We're about to get to the character.
You can't just walk around in a little tight, little tank top like that,
inspect us not to talk about your big muscles.
But what we were saying was that-
I've got the biggest muscles there is.
Well, it's actually essentially a martyr,
because if he chooses not to have muscles like your-
I choose not to have muscles.
Then he'd just be like,
I just need low weight.
Yeah, lots of rapes low weight.
Yeah, lots of rapes low weight.
So that I don't look like Joseph Mahmoha.
Because then I would go get beers.
I'd go have a big cup of beer with my wife Lisa Bonnet type.
And the pats would take photos of that
and no one would focus on our show.
Yeah, and the show wouldn't be talked about also
because everyone's trying to suck and fuck him.
But Zach, I want you to know that I would suck
and fuck you, manoewn or not.
Sorry, I just saw a photo of a young manoeu.
He's got a strong jawline.
He would be more attractive than me, skinny.
So he's got a beautiful head.
I just want on the record,
I have the biggest muscles there is.
Yeah, we know you have the big muscles, bro.
I'm a big muscle man.
We've been told, you can't leave the podcast without us talking about your biceps and your
Packs don't forget latissimus doors. Doors. Is it or what about your intercostal muscles?
Sorry for the record muscle you can grow there. Oh, they are
between your ribs. Oh, they absolutely are muscles you can grow they help with your breath
Sorry for the record. I I look you have a P you I look nothing like Jason
Momoa. I'm I'm so sorry for the record. I don't know. I'm not I've not
Drop the mama. I think all right. Well, I was saying burden burden. I was saying he could be Jason
Mamosa cover himself and already think about
Dr. Mamoa bit no more mama. We're on a Mamos for Moza? Drop the Momoa bit, no more Momoa.
We're on a Moza bit now, you fuck it.
But it's a derivative of the Momoa bit.
But now we're giving it on.
Yeah, it's an offshoot.
It's an offshoot.
But you need to stop coming in.
You were getting your delivery.
We were really vibing this Momoa thing.
What was the delivery?
What was the delivery?
I'd rather not say.
No, say. Was it a cock-piering?
I'd rather not say because you've got a cock-piering. Was it a vibrating cock-piering that you're
putting into your cock piercing? I'd rather not say what it is. It's fine. It's a cock-piering.
It's fine if it's some sort of cock-piering. I know you got your cock-pierce the other day
at off-your-tree. I did not got your cock pierce the other day at off your tree
I did not get my piece you did you went to off your tree on Swanson Street and you got your cock pierce
You got it straight through the you reef rather not
You don't have to say because because we're all now assuming that it's a cock ring
So you don't have to let's cock ring. It's not not that. Does it vibrate via a switch on the ring or Bluetooth?
Let us know, Broden.
It's not in the comments, Broden.
You're asking for detail on a thing that is not true.
It isn't that. It's not sexual.
Is it not sexual?
Cock ring isn't necessarily sexual.
What do you mean?
Is it a double ring cock ring? So both maybe it's a chain
Maybe it's a chain that goes from the tip of the cock to the balls because I wasn't sure if you got a piercing in your balls
Well, up time out you think he's talking. I'm so sorry that I didn't pick up on this because you were talking about piercings
You think he's talking about a ring for his cock, a pierced cock.
I'm talking about a tight vibrating rubber ring at the base of his cock to aid erection.
Yes, yeah, yeah.
You get some sort of for free with buying certain packets of condoms.
Well, then, all right, well, let's let Broden,
I assumed it was, I heard a rumor that Broden went to
off-utry and got a cock piercing.
And I heard a rumor he went to a cloud of X.
And Borda, you started both of these rumors.
Then neither of them are true.
I simply got a parcel.
I'm sorry it came between, you know,
while we were recording our weekly podcast,
but it's not that.
But also, I'm within my rights to say that I would rather not say what it is.
It's one of the two.
And I don't mind, you don't have to say which of the two it is.
There's no way of-
There's no way it's not related to the whole that you now have in your cock.
Whatever it is.
Whatever it is.
If it's my theory, if it's my theory that it's a rubber ring for the base of his
conks, so it goes hard and purple, then it's got nothing to do with the piercing that
he definitely got last week.
But maybe he's way too.
He's way too agreeing here.
But Zach, maybe he also, in this package, because Amazon will sometimes put your stuff
together, maybe he also got like some disinfectant cream
or something to help support the whole
that is now in his car.
Because you heard a rumor, I heard a rumor,
they're similar rumors, maybe they're both things that happened.
I think sometimes-
I don't have those things.
Yeah, no, absolutely, because you got them,
that's why you bought them.
Yeah, I think sometimes Mark, when people have arguments, they go,
I'm, what I have is the truth.
What I have is the truth.
And I think sometimes what you need to realize is the truth lies
somewhere in between.
So we don't know what.
And in this case, cock product, Broden, has in the package.
In this case, it lies between the base of his cock
and the tip of his cock.
But you know, it could be somewhere between, it could be something between those places.
Those two places.
Brodom, what did you get?
I'd rather not say.
Whilst I will admit that the things you have said are not what pertains to the package,
if that's the correct phrasing. I am not comfortable
at this juncture to tell you what is in the package I just received from DHL, the delivery
service. Absolutely, like some sort of cockering. That is how I'm sort of cockering. That's
how I'm talking. That's the one thing you know it can't be. It's nothing to do with penis. You don't know. You don't know that. You don't know that. The more I'm locking in, it's something, it's a round object that in some way.
We know that.
So what do we know so far?
What do we know?
We know it's to do with the cock.
We know it's a cock based product.
We know it's a cock based product.
We know that Broden has an extra hole in his cock now.
We know that he went to Off Your Train and got his cock pierced.
Yeah. No, you don't know that.
No, we're Broden.
We're just talking about what we know.
And you know that. How do you know that?
I've heard it from multiple sources.
And the piercer that filled it with your cock
to do it sent me a DM that were like,
hey, I just pierced Broden's cock.
If you were ever interested in getting
really hold in your cock, just
I received the same damn.
Oh, did you?
I said, I want to kill you, I want to kill you,
I want to kill you.
Yeah.
But it was it was.
No, those are true.
It was just made up two things.
Or someone has lied to you and put you in a situation
of misinformation.
That's what you found.
This seems like a mystery for me.
Who is this?
I'm a real power.
And this is a mystery.
Okay, so Hercules Poirot,
the agathacrystic detective has come
to solve the mystery of what's in my box.
Is that right?
Oh, wow.
But first you must guess which acuil paro I am.
Well there's more, there's multiple.
Which means what actor?
Which pal, this is your palo?
This is so over my head, I'm not aware of this reference at all.
Okay, so her acuil paro, Agatha Christie wrote many, many, many books
in the murder mystery genre.
And she was always the murderer, right? That was always the thing.
This is not Zafani's.
Excuse me.
Somebody in Zafani's house.
Says the man with a couple extra holes in his cock.
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Nothing wrong with a cock, Pearson.
It's great for stimulation, gets you off,
gets your partner off.
So it's like you have the cock ring.
No, no, I've just heard, I've seen many,
I've got lots of DMs from PS's who have
PS the cock, the cross-priced friends.
PS the cross-priced friends.
PS the cross-priced, then.
It's about the cock ring.
Oh, dude. Oh, what? What's about that cocking. Oh, dude.
Oh, what?
What's your fucking name again?
Poor names.
The kill power.
I am a perro.
I am, and you have to guess a lich at the film ends
of that you know.
Oh, I don't know any of them.
Mr. Poirot, if in fairness, your job is to deduce mystery.
Your job is to find out mysteries.
It's not our job for you to come in and
posit mysteries and we solve them, that is actually the inverse of what we needed.
Oh wow, oh wow. Stop saying yes. Stop saying yes in French.
I did not know I am from a dental member which plays some from. I'm from one of those, I think I'm from La Culecson, Belgo, or something.
All right.
Poirot.
Can you...
But it is the relevant Amazon low budget BBC series where I was planned by David Soucher
or I was a big budget 20th century fox production.
What movie? book like back in it plan now I
I'm sorry. I'm so lost. We'll just go along with it market. I'm trying to say it's too shay
I'm trying don't know David sushi. I don't do if you turn on seven seven two
Anytime during the day you'll see David sushi doing right
Playing a kill Any time during the day you'll see David Sushay. Doing right. We're right. Playing Akiel Power.
Oh, there is this shit on Australian television.
That made constantly.
This is bargain hunt.
They adapted the everless single book.
The BBC adapted on the video to his active.
I don't know.
They adapted it.
What's single book?
Say the British broadcasting corporation.
Say that again.
Babasse.
No, it's BBC.
Oh.
Oh.
I'm a post-war immigrant from maybe Luxembourg, I think.
And what I do is I self-crowns as a private detective.
You might not.
So my question, yes.
My question to you is, why are you positing mysteries to us?
You solve the mysteries.
Yes.
If I am the BBC power, it is sort of downgrade. You know, it is like instead of the explosion,
it is maybe a gunshot. If it is the 20th century fox, a kill power, it is an upgrade. Instead of
the explosion. The murder of your orienting express. Oh, right. I can.
The mountain collapses to give you an instant budget on scale.
Okay.
So which one would you like me to be?
You want?
I think Sushay.
Yeah, I think Sushay.
I think the lower budget one.
I always think Sushay.
I always think it'd be too elitist.
Yeah, I'm the same.
If I'm being honest, when I think of Poirot,
I think of the low budget, David Sushay,
just purely by prolific, is that if that's a word?
Being prolific.
Yeah.
How much is a label here?
I actually was in a Zachary O'Brien,
was in a performance of Mel Beren,
the orient Express when he was in grade five,
a little 10 minute version,
and Chris Clark, he played Erkyl Barrow
with a fake mustache and a pepper act.
And that's a made that a cardboard.
And when I think of a cute power, I think of this 10-year-old boy with that
head to bed of cardboard.
When you, Perkyl Poirot, think of yourself, you think of a Gipsland Australian 10-minute
mini production of a play about you and a little boy playing you.
Being performed at the Vinny Shell at Monash University, Churchill Campers, for the
tournament of the man's. Is it murder? What is it? What's tournament of the mind?
They are competition where you have to solve a problem or do a little performance about a piece of literature
or maybe build a piece of engineering. So we wrote our own version of Agatha Christie,
a group of 10-year-olds and Chris played Akul. I can't remember who I played. So when I think of me,
Akul Paoro, I do think of a 10-year-old boy with a cardboard that in a biny shell which is a
type of architecture type of a dome structure. Okay. Performing as me in about
1999. Okay, Mr. Poirot. A damage has been done to my name by these two men.
And his cock. Not to my, that's the point, that's what I'm trying to get to.
I received a package early in this podcast,
I had to go and receive it.
I'm not comfortable saying what is in the package,
maybe you can deduce what it is.
But since then rumors and innuendo have spread
about the state of my penis.
What?
What?
No, you don't say what Mark, you don't say what at all. I'm conversing with our French friend. What you say yes
What I don't think he's French. No, he's not French friend. I think he's a French speaker. What I think he is a
French speaker. Let me double check
What do you think?
I'd go to a kill power, fictional character, Belgium. Yes, I speak French.
Belgium is murder on the train to Ballarat.
Oh, maybe they speak Dutch, I don't know.
What?
Is murder on the Orient Express similar to that book, murder?
Well, one can try to Ballarat. What? What? Is murder on the Orient Express similar to that book murder? One game of the-
The Trane to Ballarat.
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
That was similar, but anyway, it was like 100 years ago and one was written in the early 2000s.
And was played by Marie Claire Cherminoff.
Now, Poirot, yeah, please deduce whether I've had my penis stabbed and please,
I want to challenge you. Can you guess what is in this package? Oh, I need to do. I need to do I speak to all three of you. So first I will speak to Brodan Kelly Brodan when you got your penis
Pias
and I don't
Three and you're
Bones
Man's questions Brodan don't interrupt him. He is running an investigation and internal investigation here. All right
Answer the questions. yes or no?
I can't answer the question because the premise that you start with is wrong.
I do not have a piercing in my penis.
This is a very interesting thing, you say?
Because that's what I tell you, there was a time when I lived in, when I was in some sort of city in Belgium,
I don't know Belgium, and there was a king and everyone knew I got his penis pierced and
everyone would spread the rumors and he would deny and deny and deny.
Let me tell you, a man who has not had his penis pierced
at the off your tree in Melbourne, he would say,
oh, this is not me, but you, you do protest too much.
Now Mark, let me talk to you for a moment.
Let's talk.
Mark, when brother and got his penis pierced?
Uh-huh. No.
What do you wear with you? We didn't broaden God this pen as fast. Uh-huh. No!
What do you do?
Where were you?
So I was at home and I received a message from somebody who recently put like a hot
poker through the bottom of Brodon's penis and made it come out the piss hole. This was happening at that time.
This is very interesting because I asked what was happening while it was getting his penis pierced.
So when you tell me at that very time someone was sending you messages about
penis being pierced in the past, that mouse mean, broadon has two oles
and his penace felt two rings.
Very interesting.
No, I don't have one.
I bet Mr. Point Road.
I got a message from a piercer,
they work at Off the Tree,
they went, I'm putting a hole in your friend's cock right now.
If you ever wanted that kind of hole in your cock,
let me know.
I said, I don't judge people who do have that kind of hole in their cock.
It's not for me.
I'm worried that my piss will split when I pee and it's going to be harder to aim.
So I passed on that.
But this is all very interesting stuff.
And I think I see a story emerging.
A story of many different tales, many lies, but in the center, in the center
of a triangle is a truth, but I only see two points of this triangle. I only see two points
of this triangle, so I cannot know the center until I talk to Zachary Rowan. Talk to Zach.
Is he? Let us go into the drawing room where our prosium he is. Oh no.
Zakair Ryan has been murdered.
He's been murdered by getting his dick pierced lots.
He has lots of elves in his business and he bled out.
Cool.
This is a mystery.
This may be called...
This may be called...
The penis piercing is a red herring before what's actually in the box
Well, let's find out maybe we should speak to the world's greatest detective. Oh, it is Bunnell Blanks
The guy from knives out. No, I don't know that reference.
The max just 30 and that's saying he does not know the reference to so I think it's with me fun to see a maverick a crack
Have you not seen knives out?
I would see knives out. It's a been while long. He played tall like this. Oh, thank god
It's been while blah. What are you playing?
Ben while blank?
No, I'm Broden Ben while I don't play people. He talks like a old Southern gentleman
There's much intrigue to this murder. There's a hole in this donut.
That's great, Poirot.
It's a very good movie, a real Rotterdam film.
When I watched that movie, I thought,
this is a return to mid-budget Hollywood cinemas
that I would sing for very long.
It says, a moment, or a beautiful South American lady,
she drives up to her house that she works at
and the soundtrack is large, it is big, it sounds like
then the Elfman and I thought,
I'm back in the 90s, it's like I'm watching Casper's Ghost.
You were like Casper the Ghost, poro?
I love that movie because I have a big crush
on John as a delectar, meh.
Really?
The fictional 19th and 20th century character,
a hirky old boy, right?
As a crush on a 90th, teenage boy, hardthrob.
So you've got to understand I'm not that bad,
I was a nanny, I was a certain year old.
Yeah, right.
How do you like home improvement as well?
Love home improvement.
In a way, he talked back to that two-me-a-long.
Oh.
I was gonna come in and play that man.
I think that's exactly how the role felt.
Let's just scratch this battle to character.
Did you say you're gonna get the world's greatest
detective Batman?
I was gonna get the world's greatest
detective Batman in, but now I feel obligated
to play then while Blanc. I like that character on my way. I like that. They're of broadening
A Benoit Blanc what I need to do is I need to convince with secretive detectives in the world
Me a kelp arrow you a Batman and if brother and son does ours Benoit Blanc and so three of us will get to that bottom of this
Well looks like this is one particular mystery that's
Particularly strange
Benoit
Yes, I'm Benoit Blanc
Benoit Blanc
I'm like this. Why? This is a role alone. I'm sorry
Why? This is our own alone.
I'm sorry.
Oh, I did it.
That was the wrong,
when he had a straight round to toss his down.
I was just got this bit,
I just got this whole thing.
No, it's,
no, it's, it needs a sense of trills.
No,
where is that the covering?
Yeah, no,
wrong, was wrong.
It's not working.
Found me, I'm so sorry,
for the,
for the,
of agencies.
No, no, no, no, I'm a grunt, I'm a self-realist, grama, was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong.
I was wrong.
I was wrong.
I was wrong.
I was wrong.
I was wrong.
I was wrong.
I was wrong.
I was wrong.
I was wrong.
I was wrong.
I was wrong.
I was wrong.
I was wrong.
I was wrong.
I was wrong.
I was wrong.
I was wrong.
I was wrong.
I was wrong.
I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I character now. I feel like what's in the box.
Oh, meet me.
Do you actually meet me in the drawing room and bring the box at midnight?
No, like if you can come now.
Okay.
Like if you are.
Just try not to touch it.
You want to do a toilet to break?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I need to go to the toilet if that's all right.
All right, he's going to get some box for that.
It's midnight in like 15 minutes.
Can't we just wait, isn't it just a bit spookier and cooler if we wait till midnight?
If we wait till midnight, I go into overtime.
Oh man, come on.
I don't think you want to pay overtime.
I mean, you are doing to self--exist and I called nearly that bell.
Okay, first of all, can't I did not hire you?
I don't know where that misconception is going from.
You turned up and I was assuming this was pro bono.
No, no, I've been in that charge for my service.
Oh shit, I made no calls.
I made no calls.
On the podcast, like in the drawing room
So poirot's gonna reveal what it is and he's gonna know
Mm-hmm and it's gonna be incredible. Do you want to do this at midnight, bro
Then just to make it a bit spooky up the tension. I love to get some. I'd love to do it now
It's 11 18 in the morning. Oh
It is you've got to mistook it's actually
12 hours and then half I'm in LA so it's
It's quite close to midnight for me and you are looking so good to saw your salads. I'm working out
Thank you so much. I've been eating a lot of
10 we go to the drawing room or not
Yeah, yeah, what can you set up the laptop?
I can see I need to go to the pool
But then if you could just set up the laptop What do I want to don't have a laptop like first. I need to go to the poo, but then if you could just set up the laptop.
What do I do?
Why would I need to set up?
I'm in LA!
I'm in LA!
Are you sure this layout is necessary?
It's a certain challenge.
To make me not look...
To make me not look...
No, you're not looking at me.
To make me not look the full.
To make me not look the full because you were like,
it's 11 in the morning, not for me.
I want to do it in midnight.
I don't need to wait 12 hours for that.
It's still a good 10 minutes before midnight.
I think that is too much time to feel.
I'd rather suggest a review of it.
Fuckin' whatever.
Just fucking go.
You need to go to the toilet
because we're at Matt's take a little while.
No, I'm only here.
I'll hold on.
I'll fucking hold on.
Is it one or two's?
What?
Is it one?
One or two's?
It's a soft two.
Is that a quick-to-up poop, but a longer wipe?
I can hold on to it.
It's messing, right?
I don't think people realize how long my monologues go.
I think our Z-ents, but really, we're only in act three.
Where it's at the top of X-ray.
So if you need to, we go in now.
I'm not on the way. it's fine, let's just do this.
Well, I mean, okay, but I need to do up my mustache.
I wanted to fucking take a 15 minute break.
I asked for the toilet, maybe have make a sandwich,
have something to eat.
I said you could have a five minute break, right?
You've wasted that with this big orange.
10 more minutes. I haven't had the chance to do my mustache. I think we just jump into it, try to wrap it up by 12.
Fine. Okay. Alright. Here we go. I'm okay. Here we go.
Rodden, thank you so much for coming to this drawing room. I'm being sheepish.
Hmm.
Mark, thank you.
Hey, PoiRou, is your phone going off?
Oh, yeah.
Where, Mark?
Can you turn your fucking phone off
or you're doing your monologue?
I need to check.
I've got, like, I'm a freelancer.
No, you are what's the slab now?
No, it is a thing.
I'm a freelancer.
I'm about to wrap up this case.
I've got two cases, which you are doing pro bono, by the way. No, I said you sick amount of freelancer. I'm about to wrap up this case. I've got two cases
Which you are doing pro bono by the way No, I said we ought to work it out. You said what what are we doing for money? I said don't worry
We'll work it out if you think that pro bono says on you, huh? I mean I swear the God
I'm gonna fix things come so we'll see what we can do. 45 an hour. I'll get fucked.
That's a fucking reward.
Oh my god.
All right, so I just need to have my phone on
because I have the two cases that I have to go to tomorrow.
One is on the as a side of England.
I won't be quite close, but I think the other one
is going to take a little longer to solve.
You know, England's fucked at the moment with COVID.
You're not going to get in there.
Yeah.
No, it is, 1920s.
It's the 1920s, all right.
So that's that.
OK.
Is there a depression?
What?
Is there a depression?
That's 30s.
That was 30s.
That's coming.
It's coming.
No, it's a depression.
What's a depression?
Anyway. Anyway, here we go.
Cock ring.
Cock ring.
This was the first two words I heard when I came to this house.
Oh.
Put some music under this Tom.
That was now reference to what type of cock ring? Put some music under this Tom. So it's like mystery music.
Yeah.
So it's now a reference to what type of cockering?
Sorry, probably classical, like classical music.
It is sort of, you know, it's no longer mystery, it's sort of a triumphant but still background,
you know, it doesn't have to be too long.
When you think of the drawing room, the music that sort of would evoke that kind of feeling.
Tom, you've read a lot of books, you know what to do, if you fuck this up.
You know what to do. Play it now.
Cockroding.
These words have reverberated in my mind for the last two weeks.
Why do we talk of cockroding? What type of cockroding?
What type of cockling? When I realized there was as much uncertainty as a very doubt that was in my own mind,
I knew that there was a mystery that needed to be served.
Sure, someone made that sacroen, but that was not the true mystery.
That was really a bad product.
Broden, we know you killed him.
We know you killed him to get me off the sand.
We know you killed him because you thought that I thought you were responsible for the
cock ring.
That was a foolish move.
You underestimated me.
He's the greatest detective in the hell of your app.
You underestimated the fact that I'm used that was not you, that got the cock ring.
It was not you that went off the tree because you are pretty much strategics,
except for the occasional whiskey.
You tattoo on my bottom there.
You are pretty much strategist, but you can still get tattoos.
I get straight-edge tattoos.
Like, I think it's a...
It's fun, it's more just that.
There's a vegan tattoos as well, which,
in J.V. Vidler and Spahn, that's on the list. It's fun, it's more just that part. They usually have vegan tattoos as well, which in J.V. and Vidler and Sparmer, that's the offer.
So as I get to tattoo, you're pretty much strategy.
And I thought, you know, he wouldn't be going to have a tree.
A place that makes most of it money selling bones.
He wouldn't be going to this place
where he gets a drug paraphernalia, but oh, what?
Maybe someone that does a lot of marijuana?
Maybe someone that doesn't do that much marijuana, but it's cool with it.
That's what I realized.
I have not seen Mark's cock.
This entire wig brought in his head, his cock dangling out of his pants.
Like a diffusio.
This entire wig brought in his pants enough because he has
a twist bump.
What?
Brother, you're a dirty bum, bro.
He's a dirty bum, he's a dirty bum.
He's walked around with his pants around these angles and I've had ample time to look
at this cock.
And here are the two things that I've noticed.
Sarah's not bruising to indicate that rubber cock ring at the bottom.
To indicate that the factory has done things
to his penis to cut off the circulation.
I don't even see my penis all week
then there's no reason for any of this.
We're trying to guess what's in the package,
right? That's what he's trying to figure out.
Is he getting to that?
Yes, I'm getting to that.
I told you, I told you, I told you,
I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you,
I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you,
I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you,
I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you,
I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you,
I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you told you, I told you, on the right, top of act three, we're not at the end. These are the big monologues that take up the whole time, you've seen them, they're like,
a whole chunk of the movie, it's like 20 minutes.
I'm not going to go for 20 minutes, but it has to be like representative of the town.
So, bro, you didn't have to kill Zach, but you did.
Because the person with both the king of the cockering and the piercing of the
cockering is Mark Banana. I don't know if that's I would never get a cockering though.
Drop your pants. No. Drop your pants right now. We will earn. All right.
No cockering.
Of course, I would never get one. I'm too worried about Rust.
I did this as a trick.
Because I knew that Broden Kelly might be a strategy.
Broden Kelly might not want to get out to Rod Suru his penis,
but Broden Kelly, since he got set tattooed to promote a Netflix show,
since of himself as a bit of a cool show
Yeah, I'm on it too. Oh, okay. I play you an a pay. There's a lot of mystery. You got my sketch. Oh, yeah
Bro, don't Kelly
You don't have a cup green
That is a form piercing
You have got one of them ones that clip onto your ear.
You know, it's one of those ones.
God damn it, true!
And you want to know...
What you do is you put it in your penis and you just clip it.
It's true, I do have a clip on earring with my penis.
And the only person that could have known...
True!
Is that person that went to the shop to his yoza car
Or one he was going to reveal you he went into the he went into the is the old Buddha to accuse you and to say
He was going to tell everyone you didn't get a piercing
That is why you killed sacroen
That is what you have and in the boxes. don't know maybe some way to some food or something
Or you don't have no idea what's in the box
The reason I didn't want to say is because I'm on the teeth of
Of the 2k video game company. Oh you got all the 2k stuff
I got the big box of NBA 2k not
Shit, yeah, what is this is. What is NBA 2?
I think it's true.
You got some juice in the 20s.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I was going to unbox it after this, but it's not good for a podcast, but I'm very excited.
It's a pro.
You did, you got everything pretty good apart from the NBA 2K thing.
So you're going home with our anti-dawner the board game and a trip to Turkey.
It's like you wish a dare board game. Wouldn need to really up our merch game to like board game.
Why not just play Tom Scars muffin time in the meantime?
I said sick yeah we're doing it.
Muffin or mutton?
Hey guys, which mutton?
You said mutton.
I did not say mutton.
You said mutton.
I said muffin.
I'm used to it.
The other like mutton. No fuck off. Hey, I missed it. They ended like mutton.
No, fuck off.
Hey, serious.
Before I go, I'd love just to talk something out.
Is that okay?
Real quick.
Yeah.
So my manager's really going me about these two cases, right?
And I don't know which one to take.
Which one should I take?
Hmm.
One's probably worse a bit more money,
but as one's going to be really easy, it's pas a beach.
Both have about the brutal murder of an IRS.
They're brutal.
They're brutal to the beach.
Evil murder of a person.
What?
Are you going to go to the beach?
You're going to swim.
I don't swim, but I love the ocean.
You know, I love the sea.
Check the weather.
I think check the weather.
If it's nice weather, take the beach one.
But if it's cold in a city, the being at the beach is just going to be more of a
hassle. I mean, let's be honest, I that probably makes so much money from the house of case
I could just go for a little only day to our beef house. Oh, yeah
Then you can go to a trip to the beach after I've been here. People are always dying too
You're always gonna have more jobs, so yeah, yeah, take a big one or you reckon the beach one. Yeah, take the big one
No, the beach one is the little one. That's why I wanted to do it. Yeah, yeah, I reckon take the money one
Yeah, I got to say money one I'll take the money one you can have a. That's why I wanted to do it. Yeah, I reckon take the money one. Yeah, I'll go to the money one
I'll take the money one you can have a bit of time at the beach will be awesome. Yeah, no, I can't take a contact
I can't take both are at the same time. No, he's not saying that it's the same take the big one and then use the money after once
You've solved the case. No, I'm saying do the beach one do the beach one spend some time at the beach. No, no
I was a beach one I'll solve in like a minute. I'm pretty sure I already know that it was the last time.
Can't you take both then if it's gonna be quick?
No, because it's like I tried that once and you like they keep calling you like and they're
like oh when you're coming it's like when I solve this crime.
It's like a whole city.
No fuck that.
Take the bank one.
Take the money one.
I'm going to tax a bank.
And you go for a swim as well.
No.
I mean it says I pooled there but it's a different case.
Oh, you're then.
You're gonna go to the pool. You're going to pull.
You're fucking, what are you fucking too good for the pool?
Paul's a better than beach at some time.
I don't know, I'm a little bit bothered
conscious because I'm the David Sushay one.
I have to go, I've got to, I have a booking
to get my cock pierced.
So if we could grab this up, I wouldn't appreciate this.
I got to go to, I got to go to some Belgian dinner.
You two Belgium pancakes.
You know, there's little pancakes from the Melbourne. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got to go eat some Belgian dinner. You two Belgium pancakes.
You know there's little pancakes for some European pancakes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, rip-amp episode brought to you by AntidonaClub.com. See you next week!
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