Aware & Aggravated - 102. How I Read Through People & Find Out The Truth

Episode Date: November 12, 2023

In this episode Leo tells you exactly how to read through people. He shares his favorite tactics and shares a lot of new perspectives to give you a better understanding of how to navigate certain people and what their actions reveal that they aren't aware of.    🎟️ TOUR DETAILS AND TICKETS:  https://linktr.ee/leoskepitour   ✅ FOLLOW ME HERE: https://www.instagram.com/theleoskepi https://www.tiktok.com/@leoskepi https://www.snapchat.com/add/leoskepi   😁 WWLD Submissions: https://forms.gle/sNtQjjwvXUisfdgh9   👕 MERCH https://shopleoskepi.com/collections/   📱 MY APP POSITIVE FOCUS Apple: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/positive-focus/id1559260311 Google: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.positivefocusapp&hl=en_US&gl=US&pli=1    🔒 MY PRIVATE FACEBOOK SUPPORT COMMUNITY  https://m.facebook.com/groups/851294735925522/?ref=sharehttps://m.facebook.com/groups/851294735925522/?ref%3Dshare&exp=7ffb&mibextid=I6gGtw    📝 ACCOUNTABILITY TEMPLATES/WORKSHEETS  https://leoskepitemplates.com   Business Inquiries: [e-mail]

Hi friends, so this week I'm really excited because I'm gonna teach you some of my best tactics for how I read people so well Anyone who meets me knows I just know things I'm not supposed to know So I'm gonna give you my tactics for getting a better understanding of everyone in like subtle ways They don't realize like people expose themselves and don't even know So I'm gonna tell you what to look for when you navigate life and help you get a better understanding of when people do or say certain things or act a certain way, what it means why they're doing it and what you can tell about them from what they just did. If this can be a good one. Before we jump into that, I have an announcement about a tour.

I'm going on tour, Vitts! So everybody get excited because Tuesday, November 14th, tickets go on sale. And I'm telling you now, so you get a head start. Everyone in my podcast, you're hearing this before everyone else, so you have a chance to buy a ticket. When I did my first show in LA, the tickets sold out in 45 minutes.

All done, gone. So I'm doing five shows, maybe six. We'll see how ticket sales go. We might bump into six, but I'm doing basically a live version of my podcast, uncensored about confidence, because there's so many angles that I hit it from, and my first live show was amazing.

And people really understood why I talked about confidence live, because I can't talk about it online with the way that I hit it. Like it has to be uncensored, it has to stay between us in the auditorium that we're in. So everybody set your reminder right now on your phone,

hey Siri, remind me to look at Leo's tour locations because they're not gonna be revealed until Tuesday. So if you wanna see if I'm coming to your city or near you or you could come to it, no one's gonna know where I'm going until Tuesday, the 14th. Tickets are going live at 10 a.m On Tuesday, so everybody be ready be quick That's in Pacific Standard time. So that's LA time

So whatever that adjusts to where you're at I'll put a link to where you can get tickets in the description of this podcast if you're watching this on YouTube It will be in the description also and it's gonna be on my Instagram. I want to be posting a lot there too I'll be posting a links on my stories the link will be in all my link trees and all my social media So if you're interested and getting a ticket and I am anywhere near you get it fast every single person who went to my last The event I ended up like hanging out and I talk with people at the end But every single person loved it and was genuinely blown away and what's funny is so many girls brought their boyfriends and the boyfriends Are like kind of dragged to be there and at the end they loved it

They got the hype around me and why they're girlfriend wanted to go so bad But I wanted to give you guys the heads up who listen to my podcast first because I'm gonna be posting it on TikTok and Instagram and everything else So I wanted my core people to hear first so you can make sure to get a ticket if you want one and I say if you want one to hear at first so you can make sure to get a ticket if you want one. And I say if you want one politely but you need one. We're gonna start the New Year off right because the first date of a show is January 5th and then it's gonna go from there. So if you wanna kick off the New Year with me, get a little kick in the ass for confidence. I'll see you there. Now let's jump into my first way that I read people and the first kind of person I'm gonna talk about and the first thing I want you to look for is people who overthink everything.

The biggest thing to get about people who overthink is they're not just overthinking because they're anxious. They're overthinking because their brains are wired and trained to spot unsafety. People who overthink absolutely everything and get kind of trapped in that and seem to get really anxious about it and any decision that comes up that get anxious about it,

you have to understand about this person. You can read them that they're afraid of pain. Everybody is, but what someone who overthinks constantly is doing is looking for any hidden consequence that can come from what they're going to do, say, or change. What you have to understand out people who over think is they are looking for hidden consequences. Their biggest fear is to be blindsided with pain and something that will cause them pain.

So they're constantly trying to figure out what it is before it happens. And if you're dealing with this type of person, you have to understand how they are and be able to read them. Like the point of being able to read someone is knowing how to navigate them and get closer to them or like learn how to manipulate them. If you need to, but people who overthink are also sometimes not all the time. Sometimes they're a little bit insecure about their ability to handle things. That's what they don't like to be blindsided. They think of every potential and every possibility that can happen because being blindsided

is like the worst thing you can do. So with someone like this, you want to be very honest, direct, straightforward. Do not hide any intention. Do not hide anything that could potentially happen. Just be so forthcoming and straight up and direct with them. And that's going to bring you a lot closer to them and help them calm down. Because if they're constantly on the hunt,

trying to figure out what could go wrong or what could go bad or what you're not telling them, they'll make some shit up. Cause I used to be the same way. I overthink a lot of things, not near as bad as I used to. I just put a lot of thought into things. There's a difference between incessant overthinking and being thoughtful.

So I wanted to bring this up first because that's going to give you a lot of understanding about yourself if you aren't overthinker, but also it's going to give you the ability to read someone better who is overthinking constantly. Okay, the next one I'm going to kind of read myself with because I do this. If someone is constantly running around and checking on people and someone is checking on you a lot, they need to be checked on. You need to check on them. And this is typically going to be someone that you think is very strong or has everything together. They're not used to people checking on them and they're used to having to take a lot in the consideration

and do a lot and be a lot. And when they're checking on everyone, they're desperately wanting you to check on them. Trust me. If you have someone who checks on you all the time, if you just out of the blue check on them one day or start being more attentive and checking on them, that's what they want. And they're going to appreciate it. And you're going to make them feel so seen. They They're gonna have like this favoritism toward you Because you're the first person who's checked on them That's the same way that I am like when I was doing my first event I was anxious

I was nervous and I was like excited But I was like trying to set up a stage and like practice and make sure the lighting was right and everybody knew the cues and everything was set up Right and everything was going good. There was so much on my plate mentally I was such an a panic. I was running around asking everyone on my team, how are we feeling? You doing okay? How are you doing?

How are you feeling? Me being overstimulated, my comfort was like hearing that everybody else was okay. And it kind of in a way like made people ask me back and then I could kind of like talk about it. But there's a lot you can read into with that, but But trust me if someone is constantly checking on you or checking on everyone They need to be checked on that's something you now can read through Okay, the next way you can read somebody. I'm really just reading this shit out of myself with all these

But I want to talk about people who are very independent and Kind of hyper independent or they like to be alone a lot. There's a difference between being independent because you like to rely on yourself versus being hyper independent because this is your way of adapting to neglect. So what it's going to look like for someone who has become independent to adapt with neglect, like no one was there for them, no one checked on them, no one cared. Like, no one helped them with anything. Like, they realized they could only rely on themselves.

What this person's gonna look like is me. In the sense that I'm never bored. I'm never someone who is bored. My brain automatically fills in any space gap or void with things that I can do. My brain is just trained to fill empty space. It's not trained to sit in it because there's neglect in it. When you're used to being alone or isolated or not being like attended to or

given affection or like checked on, you just kind of learn to keep moving forward without it. So this is where I was saying the person that's checking on everyone, check on them. Someone who is hyper independent like this and has everything going, they don't want to be like this most of the time. They're just not even aware and not looking into the fact that their first resort is always themselves and never to ask for help or to ask for someone to be there for them or to talk to them.

Like that's not something that hyper-independent people do who are adapting to neglect. Like that's their adaptation. So like I said, I'm never bored. I'll constantly find things to do. Like if you leave me alone, I'm gonna be so busy and productive and do and all kind of shit. Like I'm gonna have fun. I'm gonna be so busy and productive and doing all kind of shit. Like I'm gonna have fun. I'm gonna have like a good time with myself, but my brain is wired to fill any space or

any void. Like I just do what I want to do or do what needs to be done. I don't just sit around and cry and moat because people who have sat around who were neglected and cried and mooped when you're neglected, when you're sitting there in it and no comfort comes. You learn how to comfort yourself and get up. What people like me want, so desperately, is a hug, and for someone to care and be attentive, and just be nice. Like I have that now with all the people in my life, but this is just something I want

you to become aware of with people who are hyper independent, because it's going to seem a little off-putting. It's going to seem like you have nothing to offer them. And they're going to seem like super busy. And you're going to feel a little bit like, Oh, I don't want to reach out. I don't want to bother them. I don't want to ask to hang out with someone like this. They're never inconvenienced by you being present. And by having your presence in their life, they're going to appreciate it. They're spending their time and their brain is wired to fill every void and keep themselves

busy. But when something comes up, we'll make time for it. We will fully make time for people like to get attention and affection that's all that we want. So when you come and bring that, you're not a bother at all. So you're going to feel like with someone who's hyper independent, you're gonna feel like a bother and like you are bothering them, read through it. You're not bothering them at all.

They're just not used to getting attention from people who genuinely care about them. And I'm speaking about this in like current tense and past tense of myself because I still am like this. Like my brain is just adapted to this way of being, But I've gone and do it and sorted it out. But I'm teaching you how to read through these type people. But like I said, they're going to seem distant. They're going to seem like busy occupied. I don't want you to be put off by that.

I don't want you to think anything is like, they don't appreciate you or they don't value you. Like if they don't text you and reach out to you, I'm kind of bad about that sometimes. And I'm having to make a conscious effort of it. Of like, I need to reach out to these people, stay in contact with these people, check on people. I do it here and there, but like, people will easily fall out of my life because I occupy my space and my time with other things. Like, I don't let there be a gap. So if you fall out, I'm filling it. And it's not because

they didn't appreciate you. And it's not because they didn't appreciate you and it's not because you weren't Great or like meant anything to them. It's just how they've adapted and learned to be. Like I said sitting in the discomfort There's no comfort gonna come from it. No one's gonna come and comfort them There's no way to get through it and like help themselves through it So the way that they help themselves is just Invest in themselves and keep their apps on their way. I'm still kind of like that. That's why I cut people off so easy.

But with someone like this, you're gonna want to insert yourself into their life. Like you're gonna have to be the one to text them first and initiate plans and all these things because like I said with me, I don't really have free time. I don't. I occupy my time with so many things I have to do and things that I want to do.

But that kind of shoots me in the foot because if you don't have free time, you don't sit around and think who can fill it. You just fill it with whatever is there at hand. So someone who's like this isn't always going to text you. Like their mind is occupied other places. Once they see your stable and consistent and showing up, then your presence is there a lot. They'll make space for you in their little life and they'll tuck you in this corner and they will feel the void when

you pull out. But like, to get into this person's life and to get in with them is gonna take effort from your end. You're gonna have to assert yourself and make your presence known and stable for them to kind of like soften, open up and like notice the void and not want to lose you because they don't want to lose like what you bring to them and they're like, you know, the next thing is my favorite way to read somebody. They're a music taste. If someone has deep fucked up music they like oh they deep they're a deep person because the obsession I have with Ethel Cain and I love all her music but her stuff specifically on Soundcloud that her label will not let her release because it's too fucked up That's my favorite like you can tell a lot by a person by their music taste and the things that they appreciate. So the kind of art they like, or the kind of music that they like,

or the things that they think are beautiful, pretty, things that catch their attention, things that they are enamored with, and things that they resonate with is what will tell you a lot about them. You can read so much about someone by just seeing the music they resonate with. Because a lot of songs

touch on feelings you can't really explain. Most people are not good at putting it into words. Like a lot of you guys love what I say and you resonate with my podcasts because I put words, the things that you feel that you could never describe. And I describe how we both feel. And it's like, oh my god, I feel seeing you resonate with it. Someone seeing me talk about this will get a good read on you And the way you think and what you feel by seeing what you resonate with does that make sense? So music is kind of a same thing So when someone has deep music taste or they like some random like dark deep thing like just take anything that someone is interested in or anything that they resonate with and then look at what could they be connected to in it?

Like what in it are they connected to and that will help you read a lot about them. Trust and believe. Trust and believe. Okay, so the next thing I'm going to tell you is an example. Like I'm going to give you an example of something that someone did recently that revealed so much about their character and the way I kind of like break this down is going to give you the scale of how to look into things and see a lot about a person how to read them by something that they do. So at my first event, I'm talking about it again, there's so many little like little like nuggets of like awareness in it. I loved it. So when I was getting ready I was up in the dressing room and my assistant pulled out my steamer to steam my pants for me

Because I was sitting on the couch like trying to collect myself and I was trying to talk to everyone who was in there Because like my whole family was in there and my whole team was in there and I was getting up to steam it And she grabbed it for me and like took it and like went to steam my clothes for me I was like oh my god, it's so sweet like I'm not used to steam it and she grabbed it for me and like took it and like went to steam my clothes for me. I was like, oh my god, it's so sweet. Like I'm not used to doing anything, it's gonna be like that. But when my assistant got up to steam my pants, the guy I'm talking to got up and told her no, I'll do it.

And he does have a lot of like background, like what he does with work, how he works with clothes and photo shoots and stuff like that. So like he has a lot of like practice and like skills with like steaming shit perfectly. So he got up and took the initiative to steam the pants. One, so my assistant didn't have to and two to make sure that they were done as best as possible for me.

Now just him taking the initiative to do that means he can read a fucking room. That's huge. A lot of people lack that. Like, so for you to just get up and take the initiative to read the room like that, to want the best outcome of what she's doing. He knows he's good at it. So he got up to do it. But also him offering to do it instead of just letting someone else do it shows he's got a lot of character and he cares what other people like he sees my assistant running around helping me with a ton of stuff. He's trying to take something off her plate. He's considerate.

He's caring. He wants to help take the pressure off of people. He's not someone who's lazy. Who's just going to sit back and like let everybody scramble just so he can be comfortable. Like he's fine with stepping up where he can and offering help. That also reveals confidence in himself one, but two is capabilities. He was confident enough to offer that and to do it. So he was confident in himself to stand up and initiate that.

A lot of people would be like, oh my god, no, I'm scared. I don't want to mess it up. They were like, talk themselves out of it So he doesn't think like that. He doesn't belittle himself and like put himself down He sees where he can be of use and offers himself So there's a lot of confidence revealed in that but also confidence and his skills to get the job done and Not ruin the pants because they're over Sachi pants and they're expensive But him getting up and steaming my pants for me shows that he's conscious and

considerate and cares about other people. Like he'd rather do it than have her do it because she's doing a hundred out of things. Like he offered himself to do it and how I just broke this down, it revealed so much about his character, but it was just a small thing. Like, this is what my brain is like 24, 7. I constantly read through and see through every move someone makes. Like, just for him, a literally took him 5 seconds to stand up, say to my assistant, hey, I'll do it. Like, I got it. You're totally good. Like, go do whatever else you got to do. For him to do that took five seconds. That little action revealed so much about his character and it let me read through him and see more of him by just

that small little action. And sometimes you can be wrong when you like read into things but you'll learn the more you do it. Like you know when you're wrong when you're not wrong. Okay, you're not making assumptions, you're making observations. That's the biggest thing is like, what did it take for someone to do this? What does this say about them? Like getting into their perspective and seeing like everything it took for them to do that and what it means about them, that's a lot and that's a really good skill to have and that's the core of like how I read people basically. But I wanted to bring that up because that is like a little situation that reveals a lot about someone. My next example is something I had to check myself on

and it's people who are a little standoffish or silent in social situations. People who are in social situations and seem off-putting or seem closed off like they have like a resting bitch face or they're just like cold. Sometimes they're just an asshole. Sometime. Get credit, we're credit to do.

But if you take a second to look at why else might somebody be acting very closed off and reserved in a social situation. You'll be able to read through people and see who's actually frozen because they're so hypercritical of themselves and every move they could make. They're over analyzing every move, they're over analyzing how they're being perceived, they're over analyzing what they're saying and how it could be taken or how it could be wrong. Someone like this is basically standing on a pile of glass and there's glass all around them and any step they take is going to lead to more cuts and more pain. So they're frozen where they are. They don't see a safe step to take.

They don't see a safe action to take. They don't see a safe thing to exhibit about their personality or a correct thing to say that doesn't lead to a potential consequence. They look at everything around them as like I'm gonna fuck it up. And someone who's like that is so hypercritical of themselves and so like hyper aware of how things could go wrong or how they could hurt someone or how they're being perceived and it couldn't be how they want it to be. So a lot of people just freeze and go stone cold and they'd rather not speak, not interact, not engage because it's safe. Like they're stuck on that pile of glass they're on because any other step is just stepping in more glass. It's easier to stay still, you know? And there's one more aspect that could kind of go with this.

If someone is looking intimidating and rude or they look mean and they're just standing there a lot of people myself included give off that allore in public to not be fucked with Like whenever I'm at an event or a party or anything like that It's like people get drunk and they always want to try the big one like girl leave me alone I left all my scrappy days in the past I I left smackin' the fuckin' shit out of somebody in the past. I'm tryin' to leave that behind. Don't bring it out of me again. I have too much to lose now. But I wanted to bring up the kind of like the death stare and like the mean mug because

a lot of people do that as a protection thing, but as soon as you like talk to them or cut up with them, they're gonna immediately let it down and like have fun with you. So something I like to do with people at an interaction, what they seem like frozen, they don't seem like an asshole. Like you just seem like frozen and like anxious, you can kind of tell who's who just watched our body language, who looks uncomfortable. That's the person who's over critical of themselves. The person who's just an asshole is like looking around unimpressed. There's a difference. So if you see someone who That's the person who's over critical of themselves. The person who's just an asshole is like, looking around unimpressed. There's a difference.

So if you see someone who looks a little bit uncomfortable or they're just like not moving, I always just go up to them and just say hi, introduce myself, ask them what their name is, ask them how they're feeling, like how you feeling with you think of the party. Just little questions like that that are not big. I ask them if they want to get a drink,

and it's like, okay, look, look at a drink. Or I'll say something like, all, look, look at a drink. Or I'll say something like, all right, you're my vibe. Like I found my person in the corner of the party, doing their own thing. This is where I like to hang out. And like they immediately are going to feel bonded and seen and appreciated.

And it's going to kind of help them open up. But if you start with something or say something, like, grime anxious as hell, I need to come like step out the party for a second. I'm over stimulated. When you say that, if they're feeling anxious too, you just matched them.

You just made them feel seen. You made them feel safe. They're immediately gonna be like, and relax because they don't feel alone anymore. They don't feel like the only one who's anxious. They don't feel like the only one people are looking at and who's not having a good time. Like, you're gonna immediately bond with them and it's

kind of helped them like kind of crack and like chill and stop analyzing themselves so hard because they realize they're not the only one who is anxious like that. One other thing that I kind of do at evens like this like sometimes I am like the closed off one in the beginning like I'm very big personality have fun life-a-d party but in the beginning at a I'm very big personality, have fun life at a party. But in the beginning at a party, usually I analyze and I observe. Like I watch my surroundings, I get a reading of like who's in the room, what's where, you know,

I always spot my two to three exits anywhere I go. But I'll like look at the room, read the room, feel the vibe, see where the safe spots are. I'm gonna look forward to bathroomism, look forward to kitchenism. I'm gonna look for like where things are or like the smoking section. I don't smoke anymore but like it's a good like thing to just know where it is if you need to go like chill outside for a second and get out of the

party or get out of the event or whatever the interaction or gathering is. I'll just like read the room and I'll analyze and then if it's a big room of people I don't know I will kind of like stay a little reserved until I get a reading on like who I'm with Because some people you have to be very PC around some people you have to be very like Mm-hmm business I'm really just shooting a shit all the time But I just need to know and like find my people who are cool and who are fine So don't immediately think that someone you see being stand-offish or closed-off is an asshole. They might just be so anxious.

And if they look uncomfortable, you know they're hypercritical of themselves. So you can do something to ease that and kind of comfort them. That's just something to know. Okay, the next thing you can kind of read into is someone who tells you you have something in your teeth, or that you have something in your hair, or your hair looks bad, not me, because I don't have any. But for someone to be honest with you, I'm not saying the type that will embarrass you and be an asshole about it and make fun of you,

like the person who will kind of like slightly tell you, A, like, check your teeth, or like they'll just reach up and like, fix your hair or they'll flip your chain for you or whatever it is, there's someone who's looking out for you you and there's someone who wants that so desperately in return. They want someone to look out for them.

So I love these type people. I am this type person because when someone looks out for you like that, you feel comfortable and safe with them. You know, they're looking out for you. Do this back to these people because they're constantly checking on everyone else and looking out for everyone else. What they really want is to be looked out for by other people.

Trust me, like people who do this constantly or are just like always so aware and protective and like inclusive and trying to make sure everything's okay and make sure everyone's good and comfortable and fine, there are people who want that back, and they're used to not getting it, they're just being it. But you can also kind of read into the type person this is,

like they're looking out for you. They're not someone who is gonna ever make you look dumb. They're gonna be protective of you in your image, and like the way you present, and make sure you're taking serious, and make sure you don't look bad. Like that's someone who's genuinely just like, a down-ass bitch and they're gonna be there for you and I like that type of person.

But not the ones that make it an embarrassing thing, not them, them I wanna hit. All right, how to get a little sip of water before we dive into saying thank you to today's sponsor for the fun guys. And it's Vessi and for those of you that don't know, Vessi is a company that makes shoes that are basically weatherproof. You can wear a company that makes shoes that are basically waterproof.

You can wear their shoes anywhere, and that can survive the enemies. So if it's just raining outside, and you don't wanna wear a rain boot, all of Bessie's sneakers and shoes, function like rain boots, but they're cuter than rain boots. Also, if you're going on the hike,

and you don't want water getting in your shoes, you don't wanna wet sock, you can wear the shoes on the hike, you can also wear the shoes to the beach and get them in the water. You can get them fully wet and then we just find. And they also make other accessories, not just shoes. They have a pair of gloves and they sent me a few pairs

and I have to use them the other day because I had carved pumpkins for Halloween and I had them on my balcony and they rotted and they got like squishy and nasty and like juice was everywhere. I didn't want to touch them. So I put the gloves on so I didn't have to touch them. If you're interested in seeing the shoes that they have

and also the accessories that they have, you can head over to vessie.com slash aware. And also at checkout, if you use code aware, let's some know what you came for me and you get a discount code. It's 15% off if you use code aware. So if you want to go check anything out, go check it out and use vessie.com slash aware so they know that you came from me. Love you. Okay, now I want to talk about a

situation where you do something for someone or you say something to someone and their reaction is not what you thought it was going to be. Like if you're trying to do something nice or say something nice or like you buy someone something and their reaction is like the opposite of what you thought it would be. Like okay, I said this nice thing or I did this nice thing, but you got upset and you got sad or you got mad. Understand, when someone has a reaction that is not typical, it's not that they're having a weird or bad reaction. There is some kind of disconnect with what you said or did. Your intention may have been misconstrued. So if you're doing something that seems very direct and forward and like clearly nice to you and someone doesn't take it that way or like

you say a joke or something and it's like a lighthearted joke and someone doesn't take it that way, you need to clarify your intent. Don't get mad at them, don't judge them, don't be like being asked and start a fight. Try to understand and read into why did you just have that reaction that you had? How were you looking at it? My go-to is always, oh wait, hang on, what's making you feel like that? And they'll tell you why what you said or did impacted them the way that it did. And then you get an understanding for what just happened, how they took it or what it

triggered in them. They might be dealing with their own shit. And then you get a chance to clear up your intention. So when you see a reaction is not what you thought it would be or it's not like the given reaction, there's a disconnect, clear it up, clarify your intent, and see how they took it. Like, you have to read into them and see why did they react like this? Like, how did someone have to take this to react like this? And you can clarify your intention.

You can clarify what you meant, what you intended, how you wanted it to come across, and own up to it and see it and like say, like, okay, wait, I think there's some kind of disconnect. Like, how did you think I meant this and give them a chance to talk about it? And that saved me so many times. That's something I still use every single day. Whenever you feel like someone's reaction is not right, it is right for how they're perceiving it. And that's the biggest thing to get.

So you need to clear up their perception with your intention. Okay, the next thing I wanna talk about is someone who offers to pay their part. Even if I'm going to dinner with people, and I know I'm paying, I know I'm treating them, just the fact of someone to offer, to pay for themselves and what they ate, or like offer to chip in, or whatever it is, this is someone who is

aware of the pressure that you're under, especially if you're with a group of people. They know what it's like to be under pressure of carrying the group. So for someone to try and want to relieve you of this, they see it and they want to be there for you. They're like attentive to you. They're aware. Like they get it. And this can take like two kind of like angles. So like even the small things where you're calling an Uber, you got the first Uber and you Ubered all these people to the first place and you're going somewhere else, does someone else offer to call the Uber or do they just expect you to carry the group for the night? That's where you need to get vocal and be like, hey, I got the first Uber, someone else

call it. But we're talking about reading into people. Someone that is aware of the pressure you're under and what you're having to do to carry the group and make sure everyone has a good time is a good person to be around. They know that pressure. They've probably been through it and been used or been taken advantage of and they're going to be someone that you can rely on and they're gonna be someone you want to call when something goes wrong. They're

gonna be able to handle it and they're aware enough to know when they're a burden and when they're causing inconvenience to others. They're aware of that. That is a safe person to be around. That was a little one but I wanted to bring it up. Now the next one is you can read a lot about someone by the way they talk about the people that they love, like the people closest to them and the people that they care about. How do they talk about them? Because you're gonna get insight on if they're safe or not one, because if they're talking shit about people that they're closest to, weird.

But also you get a lot of insight when you listen to what this person appreciates about other people. You'll see what needs they have by what they appreciate and acknowledge and voice that they love about certain people. You'll get to learn a lot about them and how you can meet needs for them and how you can be of use to them by hearing how they speak about those that they love. You should ask people about the people that are closest to them and why they like them and ask about their connections. Like you need to understand that but that's going to give you

such a good read on the person about what they love about certain people that they care about and also if they do vent about things that they care about. And also, if they do vent about things that they don't like, not that they're talking shit, but like if they're venting about certain things that irritate them, pay attention. You're literally going to be able to read the hell out of somebody by hearing what they like and don't like. So listen, when they talk about it with other people. And the reason that I'm saying, watch how they talk about the people that they love and are close to them, because you're gonna get to see the things that makes them close.

You'll see how you can get close to them also. It's not manipulation. It's like becoming aware of the needs that they have without them directly saying it. You'll get to see what they appreciate and how you can kind of do that. And if you are a fit, because if you aren't all of those things

and they're not negotiables for you, you know not to try and change yourself and you know you're not a match like you're incompatible. If you aren't those things or aren't any resemblance of it. And another big reason I say, watch how people talk about the people that they love is because they will give you so much insight about what it's like to be loved by them. How does their love look? What is it like? Are they talking shit about the people that they care about?

Are they talking bad about the people who they're closest to? Are they talking bad behind their back? Are they noticing their flaws and only speaking nose? Are they degrading the people that they love to other people? That's not a love you want to have. And I personally will never do business with someone who talks negatively about those that they love. And especially someone who cheats on their partner. A lot of men in business have a lot of money and they cheat on their wives and they have children and wives and whole lives and like families.

And they'll cheat on them. I will not get into business with someone who cheats on their partner or someone who talks bad about the ones that they love because you love these people. These are your closest people. This is your wife and your child. This is your husband and your children. And if you're talking bad about them and you're betraying them and cheating on your partner and you're supposed to love them the most, you don't love me. So I'm fully on the hook for anything you want to do. I ain't put nothing past you because these are the people

you love the most and it's how you treat them. I'm just some Joe Schmauer doing business. Uh-uh, I'm not taking a chance of someone like that because it reveals a lot about their character. So that's just one rule I have with business. Uh-uh. I'm not taking a chance of someone like that because it reveals a lot about their character. So that's just one rule I have with business. It's very hard in business to find people with good character. They exist, but that's why I'm so picky. Now the next thing that will help you read a lot about somebody is if they nitpick other people, and if they critique other people. And like you're just walking on the road and they see somebody and they make a comment

about the way that they look, or their outfit, or the way that they're dressed, or their weight, or whatever it is. People who just nitpick other people, what that says about them without them realizing is that's exactly how they treat themselves. Someone who nitpicks everyone else and nitpicks everything in life

and nitpicks everything wrong and bad, is because they only see what's wrong and bad about themselves. They nitpick themselves that bad. That's their sense of normal. That's how they treat themselves. That's how they treat the world. It's a reflection, like the world's a mirror. And that way you treat the world as kind of a mirror too.

To how you treat yourself. So that's gonna give you a lot of insight about someone that's constantly nitpicking because they're trained to see what is wrong and what is bad and what can be improved and what is not good enough. So if your friends with someone like this or you're going to date someone like this, all they're ever going to see about you is how you're wrong and how you're bad and how you're not good enough. And that's all that they're gonna find as what's wrong with you. That's what they're trained to see.

That's how their brain works. They don't walk around and see people wearing an outfit and admire their confidence. They nitpick the outfit how it's ugly. They don't see anything else about them like their joy. They're having a good day or whatever it is. They're trained to see what's ugly, what's bad, what's wrong. What's gonna lead them to getting disapproval

because they're on the hunt for so much about themselves that is up for disapproval. Like they're so scared of doing something and being disapproved. So with someone like this, they reject a lot of things in themselves and they're very, very insecure and they're very pessimistic and negative, but they're not doing that to just be an asshole, and they're not doing that just to kind of be rude and mean, and they're not doing it to themselves, just to be rude and mean. Like you nitpick yourself, like I said, when you're worried about being disapproved of,

so that's their safety mechanism is to make sure and over-critique themselves so they never do anything that makes them lose love. That's a big way you can read somebody and see how truly scared they are. or an over critique themselves so they never do anything that makes them lose love. That's a big way you can read somebody and see how truly scared they are and who they kind of are and what they're dealing with. If you want to get involved with it, try it. Do whatever you want to do.

I'm just telling you this to give you a better reading on these type people to tell you what they're dealing with and going through. They're not being an asshole just to be an asshole. Some of them are. But most of them have found that being hyper critical Is their guarantee of safety and being approved of so they're gonna disapprove of it when it pops up in front of them when it's another people Okay, now the last thing I want to talk about with reading people is my personal kryptonite

jealousy And I'm not talking about being jealous of other people having certain things. I'm talking about people who are jealous with you talking to other people. I used to be so bad about this. I've gotten a lot better, but it's still something that I actively have to talk to myself through and coach myself through every single day, especially now that I'm talking to somebody and I have a little relationship going on, girl, it is a lot. But what I want you to get about a friend who is jealous of you having other

friends or a partner who is jealous and territorial over you, their biggest fear is losing you. They're concerned. They're only concerned and they're only worried. Is any threat to their connection with you? That's what they're trying to stay away from. That's what they're shit scared of. They're not just being rude and mean and controlling.

They're scared to lose you. So when you understand this about jealous people, it's gonna make you approach them a lot different. That's why it's important to read people so you can approach them different But with jealous people understanding that their fear is a threat to their connection with you They don't want to lose you When you look at them as just being an asshole and being mean and controlling You're gonna approach that very different when you look at the thing that they're scared of and you can

Resonate with it and kind of see the human in them and see that they are emotional and they're scared to lose you. The way you approach that's going to be very different. And I'm not making this as an excuse for toxic people who are like beaten hell out of you. That's a separate situation. I just want to give you this to like read into it. Like jealousy is not just what it looks like on the surface. It is so much deeper and it reveals so much more about a person and their emotions and how you can navigate it and go into things with them and kind of like talk to them and be there for them.

It's like, their main thing is safety and their connection with you. So if you can solidify that and for me, this boy has solidified my connection with him and my jealousy has gone so down. And that's because trust is something that's earned and gained. You don't just blindly trust anyone at the gate. Because on my hands I was trusting that one.

Y'all know. But by over time building the security and safety with me, he's made me a lot less jealous because I'm not worried about potential threats to our connection. Like I've experienced enough times to get the reassurance and the safety and the peace of mind that this is how you handle things. This is how you think. This is the way you care about. This is the way you navigate life. These are your morals and values. And when you see that in someone, someone jealous is going to diffuse way down. It's always going to be there. But jealousy is not what it seems.

And I just wanted to give you this little tidbit so you can read more into people who just seem overly jealous. There's so much more to it. And in reality, they're just scared. Now I hope after listening to all that, you have a better understanding of how to read people. If you enjoyed this video, leave it a thumbs up. If you're watching it on YouTube, hit subscribe if you're new too. And if you're listening to the audio version and Apple podcasts and Spotify, leave me a five-star rating. And then everybody go buy a ticket to my shelves.

I'm so excited. Like I said, links in the description. Go get the tickets. Tuesday, November 14th. 10 a.m. is the extended time. Get ready, tickets, tickets. I'm also gonna link all of my social media in the description where I'll be releasing a lot of teasers

But you guys are the first to know about the release of this all the other details are gonna be fair game on launch day But I'll also leave the link to my merch and my app and everything else you need for me also my snapchat I'm you on there. I'll be talking on kind of shit. Sooner is looking the description. It'll have everything you need But everybody be safe. Thanks for hanging out with me. Take care of yourself. And I will talk to you guys next Sunday. But some of you, I will see you in January.