Aware & Aggravated - 103. Regretting Past Hookups, My First Premonition, & Social Media Isn't Real

Episode Date: November 19, 2023

In this episode Leo is brutally honest with his answers to some of your questions. He hits on entitlement vs knowing your place, handling rejection, tips for how to stop regretting your past sexual encounters, and so much more! He's intensely insightful in this one, but loving as always.   🎟️ TOUR DETAILS AND TICKETS:  https://linktr.ee/leoskepitour   ✅ FOLLOW ME HERE: https://www.instagram.com/theleoskepi https://www.tiktok.com/@leoskepi https://www.snapchat.com/add/leoskepi   😁 WWLD Submissions: https://forms.gle/sNtQjjwvXUisfdgh9   👕 MERCH https://shopleoskepi.com/collections/   📱 MY APP POSITIVE FOCUS Apple: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/positive-focus/id1559260311 Google: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.positivefocusapp&hl=en_US&gl=US&pli=1    🔒 MY PRIVATE FACEBOOK SUPPORT COMMUNITY  https://m.facebook.com/groups/851294735925522/?ref=sharehttps://m.facebook.com/groups/851294735925522/?ref%3Dshare&exp=7ffb&mibextid=I6gGtw    📝 ACCOUNTABILITY TEMPLATES/WORKSHEETS  https://leoskepitemplates.com   Business Inquiries: [e-mail]

Hi friends, yes it's still me. I'm just wearing a hoodie. I'm cold. I know y'all are real confused because usually I only have the tank on But I'm freezing my ass off. I don't know why it's so cold probably because it's winter But I don't plan to leave this on the whole time I'm just leaving it on till I warm up because this week we're doing what would Leo do and I picked some topics that are gonna get me He did so I'll be nice and tasty after I talk a little shit and then I'll take us off. But our first situation, oh here we go. This person wrote in and said, she recently moved in with her boyfriend's parents, like her and him moved in with the boyfriend's parents. And she said that the parents make homophobic comments, racial slurs, and they're insensitive

culturally all the time. Like they're constantly saying slurs and like being rude and disrespectful. And they basically are saying they're very uncomfortable with it. They're trying to change the parents' minds. They're stuck in their ways. They're not being any different. What would Leo do? And this is the wrong question to ask me because Leo would shut up.

Leo would absolutely know his place and shut up. I don't mean to sound rude, but you are staying in the parent's house that they pay for. They pay the bills for. They can do whatever they want in the house. The argument here, I'm not condoning what they're doing and how they are. I'm just saying, for them to be in their own home, doing what they want to do, being who they are, they're free to do it. No one should come into your home and make you feel uncomfortable about anything. Especially if you pay in a bill. It's like

if somebody moves in here with me and tries to control me and what I do, stop wearing so much black. No. But like I said, I'm not saying or defending them because they're right and that that what they're doing is okay. Not saying that at all. I'm just saying you have to know your place in situations like this. Who is caught on fire right now? There's a fire truck trying to out-time my apartment. Y'all okay? Anyway, the reason I brought this one up is because a lot of people need that reality check of this entitlement of like people on social media, social media is not real. It's not a real thing and that's not what real life is like. So if you're like thinking that things are going to be the way they are on social media

and everybody's going to be PC and everybody's going to care how you feel and not say bad things or things that would get them canceled online. Normal people don't behave like that. People who are not online all the time say whatever the hell they want. And like I said, I'm not saying it's okay for them to be racist or homophobic or culturally insensitive. My point is they're free to do what they want in their house. It's not your place to be kind of living off them and trying to correct them and change

them and tell them they're not okay and a house you're mooching off of. I don't mean to be rude, love you babe. But move out. Like what would Leo do? Leo would shut up or Leo would move out. Like you get to take on the burden of moving out and figuring it out on your own or you can take on the burden of living with them and dealing with their bullshit. You get to choose what you want to do, but it's not really an option in my opinion to try and fight them and change them and make them see anything different. People who are racist or homophobic are going to have to learn in their own time with their own experience. If they're constantly fighting you when you try and change their mind and like open their

mind up and open their perspective, they're not going to change it. Something's going to have to happen to give them the reality check that sexuality and race and skin color do not matter. It doesn't give you something to talk about. It's not something to degrade about people. That's something they're going to have to learn on their own time. It's not your place to try and force them to learn it, especially when you end day house. So, we're starting this one with Leo Duov-Strong, and Leo would leave, or shut up.

I have an update about my tour. Two of the shows sold out in 48 hours. San Diego and Phoenix, both sold out. And a lot of people were messaging me and harassing my team about everything selling out so fast, so I have news. I added two more shows. So I added another show in Phoenix and I added another show in San Diego. So if you didn't get tickets on

the first round, there's two new shows. And I will put the link in the description where you can get tickets for the new shows because the first one sold out. You guys have my heart like so full. I'm so excited to meet all of you and I'm so excited for this tour. Also, I head up any of the other locations that you see. They're all very close to selling out. So, if you wanna tick it, go run yoda de ass because the two extra shows we added and Phoenix and San Diego,

that's the only two that we're adding for January. There's gonna be more dates and locations later in 2024, like around summertime. So, I just wanted to give you all the heads up about that. And just said, I love you guys so much. And I'm so damn excited. All right, the next person asked, how do I stop regretting my past sexual experiences?

I'm embarrassed of the things that I did sexually. I'm embarrassed of who I allowed access to me sexually before becoming more self-aware. I keep running into the same people. What do I do? So first thing I want to say is can you move? That's my favorite thing to do. I love to move and restart like nobody knows me. Nobody I've hooked up with is anywhere near me I have a finished removing but if moving is on an option for you, well you have to get about being embarrassed of your past and like people who you've hooked up with. I

have dealt with the same thing, but the thing that helped me stop being embarrassed of like people I hooked up with years and years ago is time one, but two transformation of myself. So the version of me that people got to experience sexually no longer exists. That person is dead and gone. I've transformed into so many different versions of myself and who I am now, they could never get access to again. And there's a lot of peace and comfort in that. And there's a lot of peace knowing that even if you haven't changed a lot physically or mentally and emotionally yet, just locking it down in your mind

that you will never be with them again in a sexual way, like just limiting that access and knowing in your own brain. You will never allow that to happen, gives you a sense of control over the situation, and we'll help you a little bit with the embarrassment. But this is a big reason why if you're gonna be hooking up and fiddling people's dittles, keep it to yourself.

Because if a lot of people know about it and your friends are out with you and they know that you've done all these things with like all these other people, they're gonna feel awkward and like weird too. But if you haven't told a lot of people and you still feel awkward, just focus on changing yourself and improving yourself

and basically leveling up past this person where for people now who like got access to me like years and years ago and that I like hooked up with for them to say that they've been with me. Anyone they tell is gonna be like, yeah bullshit. That kind of like defeats itself. But a lot of people that I've hooked up with in the past know they could never get me again. Like you have that memory of old me, you'll never get this me, you'll never get the new me. And something I love is getting tattoos and I'm planning to get so many tattoos. Once I'm finished with laser hair removal, but that's a kind of a big signifier of this body. You have not accessed. Like if you get a tattoo on your body or lose weight or change your body

or do something to it, they have an access to you with this new thing. So it's a very fun thing that a lot of people find very therapeutic and a lot of people get tattoos in provocative places like on their ass or like down there to kind of like signal that like you haven't been with this.

And it's like a clear distinction of like, who's been with what? And like you didn't get access to this new me. It's kind of like a signifier of like stepping into the new you. And I plan to get a lot of tattoos down there. Like I'm gonna like do it so tastefully and cool, but I'm not saying you have to get tattoos. There's plenty of ways to level up yourself

and like change yourself and grow mentally and emotionally and get through all of this, but time is going to help it. And time not hooking up with people who are below your standards will help that. You can fully hook up with people if you want, but do with people who are of caliber and understand like you did what you did. You knew how you felt and why you hooked up with these people. And you have a chance to fully understand why you did what you did. You knew how you felt and why you hooked up with these people and you have a chance to fully understand why you did what you did. So, try to understand why you did it, why you allowed them access to you, what you were dealing with emotionally that made you feel vulnerable

to bend in your standards and get with someone kind of like below them, and really figure out what you're trying to understand you and why you did it. Because as soon as you do that, you can't really judge something so harshly when you understand it. You then are free to take what you've learned from the situation and choose differently. And then over time, consistently showing yourself that you choose different and you make yourself inaccessible to anybody who's not on the level that you want. The confidence is going to come back and the embarrassment's gonna go away.

Like, there is just things you're gonna have done, but my biggest thing that's helped me is becoming a person that didn't do that. Like, there's such a clear distinction of me now and who used to hook up. So that's the biggest thing that's helped me is just like, incescent, like, growth in myself and also the understanding of why I did things

and the commitment not to do them anymore. So that's what Leo did. Okay, the next person said, I want to become more spiritual and I wanna know the first steps I should take. And they also said, how did you become so spiritual? So this is gonna fall in, what would Leo do by what would Leo did?

Okay, I'm gonna tell you how I became spiritual and connected with everything that I am now. I don't follow the typical religion of anything. I have my own kind of relationship of spirituality from things I've experienced. I know and I believe through what I've had happen and gone through. So it's gonna look different for everybody, but the first thing I did was learn how to reconnect with my emotions and feel things. Because when I was 19, this is gonna be a story. Okay, it's gonna be long-winded, but it's all gonna wrap up and make a lot of sense.

And I'm gonna tell you about my first, like, premonition of something that really solidified my spiritual kind of like, that. So when I was 19, I was in therapy to try and connect with my emotions again, because I hadn't felt anything besides anger or like laughter and happiness. Like I didn't feel anything else. I had like tragic things happening to me and never felt sad. Like I never cried from 12 to 19 or 20.

Like I didn't cry any time between then and I knew something was off. Like I only felt two emotions, anger, sadness, or like completely numb, I felt nothing. So I got back connected with my emotions and started to feel things. It was a process from hell and it sucks. And sometimes I regret it

because now I feel things way too much but that's kind of your ticket in to becoming spiritual is getting in touch with your emotions because that's what kind of kick you into your intuition and it goes from there what you're able to think no and access and become aware of. So while I was in this whole process of learning to reconnect with my emotions I started working as a nurse like I was in nursing school and then I graduated and I started working as a nurse. And I absolutely hated it. Like I hated everything about it.

When I was in school, it was nothing like when I actually became a nurse. And when I was like precepting at this certain hospital for six months before I started working there, completely different. When I started working there, what the flip from hell. I never thought was coming. And I literally was so upset. Like, I just worked this hard in school to have this

be my life. And I'm now going to have to nurse for the next few years to get where I want to go. And I wanted to find ways of how to deal with it. Like, I didn't give myself an option of like quitting or getting out of it. I was like, how can I get better at enduring what I'm going through to be able to kind of like manage myself mentally because it drained the life out of me and I hated my life while I was nursing. So I was literally looking up and researching and like watching videos about how to basically suffer better and just deal with what I had to deal with and I ended up finding videos that were the opposite they advertised teaching you how to suffer and endure things and they actually

spoke about the opposite a lot of people were proposing the idea of you cannot resist yourself and For you to force yourself to work a job you hate and to live a life you hate and do things that drain you when you force yourself to keep doing it. Something is going to stop you like you are going to be stopped like you'll get an illness you'll have an accident something will happen and the universe is literally going to turn the heat up like it's going to burn your ass until you change it and move it and do something different. Like, resisting yourself and doing things you hate is not maintainable. And for me to try and look for ways to do that

was leading me nowhere. Like to just force myself to know I'm unhappy and to force myself to do it and not follow my desire for something else felt like hell and it got worse and worse and worse the more aware I became and the more I looked into this. So I kind of was like breaking into a new perspective,

like okay, if following the way that I feel is supposed to take me where I wanna go and like life is not happening against me, like me working this job and working so hard for this thing and getting to it and then working it, hating it was not happening because I was being punished or it was bad. It was like, I'm being guided away from it because it's not what I meant to do. When I tried on that perspective for a second is when I kind of had my first like, premonition. And when I heard the whole like,

if you try and force yourself to live a life that you hate, the universe will stop you and do something to you. I got scared a little bit. I was like, what do you mean? I was like, I'm scared. And I have like, didn't believe it. But the people that I was finding were proposing the idea that like, when the universe does something to you that forces you to not be able to continue down a path that you hate your life, it's not happening against you, it's happening for you.

Like that really like cracked something in my brain, but basically my first little premonition I had that like changed everything was I used to have an electric skateboard. And when I would be going through things or feeling things or just be like overwhelmed, it was like how I would just go chill and like escape for a minute I would just go ride my little skateboard downtown Pinsicle, La Florida where I used to live and just like Be in my thoughts and hang out with myself and I was doing it a lot because I hated my job Like I hated it and I was like I need to just go veg out on my days off and

Clear my head and just kind of like be in the dark and be at night I used to love going late at night like 3 a.m. was my favorite time. But I was getting ready one night to go ride my skateboard and I was put my little sneakers on I put my shorts on put my little t-shirt was getting my bag ready because I always carry a bag because I have a lot of things. And I all of a sudden like walked in my bathroom and it was like when I walked through the door frame, I saw this flash and this visual of myself on the skateboard, hitting a hole and then flying off, because the skateboard goes like 25 miles an hour.

So I was like, you can get hurt. But I had this visual and it felt so real of me crossing this road where there was train tracks and I hit something and I flew off and broke my leg and it's scared to live in shit out of me and I've always had this weird thing like my whole family has it we can predict things before they happen usually it's through dreams but this is my first time being able to do this and like and awake state and it wasn't long it was a very fast like visual. And it stopped me while I was getting ready. And I was like, what the hell? What the literal hell

is going on? Like, what was that? You know what I mean? I was like, what? But then I started thinking about the videos I had been watching and I was like, wait, if this isn't actually a bad thing, like life is not happening to you, it's happening for you. For me to go out right now, if I were to break my leg, what would I get out of it? I'd get to take time off from work and I would not have to go to work because the way I broke my leg and my little like vision was not like, oh, you can put a cast and like hobble around, it was like bed ridden. So I was like, okay, if I were to go break my leg right now,

I can see how it's for me. And this kind of weirdly makes sense. Like something makes sense for the first time. Like I don't feel like that would be a bad thing because I would get an excuse to not have to do this thing that I hate. And so I just kind of like had that awareness and I was like, whatever, I'm going to ride my skateboard

anyway, ballss of me. But I literally was riding down this road. I always ride down and there is train tracks. And as I was getting closer, I saw the visual like happening as I was like coming to the front of like the railroad tracks. Like I was going like fast as hell. I have my little remote. I was like coming to the front of like the railroad tracks like I was going like fast as hell I have my lower mo I was zooming that bitch and Something told me to like pull it like something. I felt something like pull my arm to like pull it back Like pull back on the speed and so I did cuz like something in my head was like stop like slow down

And so I like pulled the gear back and I like slowly rolled up to the train tracks. And they had just laid new, like, flat, I don't know what it was, like these rubber mats all over the road tracks. And I had rode over this plenty of times, I knew it was flat. This night I went, they had laid new, like, tracks down over it, like something rubber.

I don't know what it was, but there was gaps, like this big big in between each of the railroad tracks there was four gaps and I literally like got full body chills and was gagged because I was standing there in the middle of the railroad tracks looking at this and I was like had I hit this full speed I would have flown off and I literally rolled my skateboard up next to it and like hit it and the wheel fell in. So like I fully would have hit it and flown off had I been going full speed.

And that moment is what changed everything for me with like my relationships with the universe and spirituality, understanding emotions and like happening for you, not to you. That was when I had my first experience that kind of like confirmed that. And it's just gotten stronger. The older I've gotten in the more I've experienced, like now I'm so tapped into it, I can like predict a lot of things

and I know things like this, but this like validated that new understanding and a new perspective I was trying to hold. Like I was just trying it on and it worked. And like, that's just my personal experience. A lot of people wouldn't believe it and be like, Oh, you're a quack. Nope. I'm not.

But that was the first thing that like cracked my mentality about spirituality because I'd sworn off religion and anything spiritual for so long. But that really like brought me back to it. So like reconnecting with your emotions is number one, like trying to feel them and reconnecting with them emotions is number one, like trying to feel them and reconnecting with them, trying to understand them and then using your intuition and letting it kind of blend and feed into it and then you're going to have spiritual experiences on your own. I have so many that I've gone through that have solidified what I think and they've shaped my beliefs. It's not like, oh, I'm holding this belief and looking for confirmation. It was like, I try on random perspectives and see what happened.

And it's like the perspectives I tried that had something happen. It's like it established my belief. So like, my relationship with spirituality has been built. I don't like the whole blindly follow what someone's saying. Like, I'm a tried out. You know what I mean? But that's how I did it. That was step one, but just getting in touch with my emotions, then it fled gates from there. All right, it's time for me to take this hoodie off. I'm sweating. Here come the arms again. Now I look like me again. If you've been wanting to learn a new language,

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So if you're interested, you can get 55% off at Babel.com slash aware. That's B-A-B-B-E-L dot com slash aware. So if you're interested, you can get 55% off at babble.com slash aware. That's b-a-b-b-e-l.com slash aware. Rules and restrictions may apply. Now back to what would Leo do. All right, the next girl said, oh, she, I'm not laughing at you. I'm just laughing in general. I feel she's in a relationship with the guy. And she's all the sudden thinking that she's by and she's basically like Do I tell my boyfriend or not and there's a couple of things you want to check in with with yourself before? And it's kind of like owning up to what you're feeling recognizing it and seeing what it is like do you actually have an urge to

Be with a woman sexually do you actually have an urge to be with a woman sexually? Do you actually feel attracted to them? Do you feel like you're lacking something and you want to actually like go experiment and try it? Or is it just the thought that's in your head that's like, okay, cute? Or like do you actually have like forward moving energy behind it? Like you want to go play with me, put you like you want to go like do something with a girl? Like do you actually want to act on it? Or is it just thoughts and feelings coming up? Like don't be scared of them. Like you do you actually want to act on it? Or is it just thoughts and

feelings coming up? Like, don't be scared of them. Like, you're safe in your own head. You can allow these things to come up and entertain these thoughts. You don't have to talk to anybody about it yet. But I think really like, get clear on understanding what it is. You actually want, and if you actually want to do it. Because sometimes thoughts are just thoughts. Other times it's desires. And if you actually have the desire to go be with a girl and you want to pursue that and you want to try that, you basically have two options that I'm going to tell you. If you want to lie and do whatever you want to do,

Leo would not do that. But your two options are basically if you realize this is actually a thing that you want to experiment with and try and you have like a sexual need for a woman. One option is to resist yourself and shut it down and never get to experience that. Do you want to resist yourself and limit yourself and never give yourself that? Or do you want to be honest and communicate with your boyfriend and see where it goes from there? Like you might have to give up your relationship bully.

A lot of guys are into threesomes, a lot of guys are into like a lot of stuff like that. Some people are very comfortable with their partner being bisexual. Some people aren't. So this is a big thing where honoring yourself and following your desires could rip up and ruin your entire life. Like you might have to leave this relationship. But if you're

with someone, I fully encourage you to talk about it with them. Like I fully would talk to my partner about anything like this with them because they deserve to know what's going on. With a partnership, you're not left to deal with anything alone in my opinion. In my ideal relationship, we deal with things together. Like if I have a feeling come up, if I'm sorting it out on my own, and I wanna ask you for help and I want you to like share this with me and help me get through it,

we're doing it together. You have a partner to lean on. You have someone to help you through things. You don't have to face things alone anymore. So talking to your partner about it, we're doing it together. You have a partner to lean on. You have someone to help you through things. You don't have to face things alone anymore. So talking to your partner about it, he might be very understanding and very helpful. And even if he does want to end the relationship and wouldn't be cool with it, he could help you come to terms with it and be there for you and be a support for you while you go experience that. Or maybe he's into it. And maybe he'll want to play with some stuff too. Maybe he'll

want to join you. Or maybe he won't even want to like touch another girl and you'll just get to do it and he'll get to watch and like be there. Like people are into a lot more than you think and people are a lot more accepting and open than you think. So I would say give him the chance to work on this with you but sit with yourself first and figure out what it actually is and if you truly have this desire and this attraction to women or If it's just the idea or like it's just something running around in your head Like if you actually feel like forward momentum of like I want to do this and if I don't do this

I feel like I'm suppressing something Explore that and then talk to him about it I really wanted to give it to you straight of like you have two options You can reject this part of yourself and resist it for the rest of your life and neglect yourself or you can follow it with or without him. So there's your options that I'll give you. All right, the next person said, I seem to only be attracted to people who aren't attracted to me.

What would Leo do? So Leo understands that if you only have a heightened sense of attraction towards someone, when you find out they are not attracted to you, it's not that you're actually attracted to them. You now have validation to get, because if someone's not attracted to you and you all of a sudden feel so attracted to them, what you've now put in their control is your ability to feel attractive and it's now with them So becoming attractive to them is how you're gonna get the validation that you are attractive and you want that validation You're now on the hunt for the validation that you feel like was just stolen by them not being attracted to you

You might not actually be into them and that's where a lot of people get caught in sticky situations and be hookin' up with people, they show we hookin' up with. But this can turn into an obsession. And there's a lot about the whole process of taking someone who's not into you and making them be into you. It's such a reflection of value of like I was able to do this.

It's like the most validating thing. It's like gay men who hook up with straight men and they seduce someone and finally get someone to want them like for a gay guy. That's the ultimate reflection of attraction and value and feel good because if you're a gay man me and there's a straight guy who's not into you, not into your gender at all. And you are able to convince him to be with you and be attracted to you and hook up with you. Like you just bent all of your preferences and what you're into, like your desire for me was so strong, it changed everything about you and what you like and what you want.

And I was good enough, and I was something special that you were into. It's like the ultimate validation of worth value attraction, like every single thing under the sun. That's why so many gay men pursue straight men, because they don't understand the emotional needs being met when you kind of convert someone,

or you're special enough for them to bend in what they like for you, because they like you enough to bend it. See? So my advice to you is understand everything I just said, plus look at your attraction to people. Are you actually attracted to them or you're just trying to get validation? And what if they never were attracted to you? Why are you gonna be so hung up about it? Because that validation lives there. So I want you to sit with that and see what you come up with. But that's like the biggest thing I've found for things like this.

And I want to do a whole podcast episode about rejection. I don't know if I've done one or not. Have I? I didn't know. I'm gonna look and see. And if I haven't done a podcast episode about rejection, I'll do one because that kind of fits in that. But I have a lot to unpack there. Okay, the next person wrote in, I love this bitch. She says, When I go out to bars and clubs, I constantly have my ass grabbed and men touch me. Just when I'm walking by, I don't do anything to flirt with them, but I'm causally being touched physically and harassed by men.

I know martial arts and I know how to... Rock them, basically. But I don't want to cause a scene. What would Leo do? Caused a scene? Caused to cause a scene. What would Leo do? Caused a scene. Caused a big fat scene. What the hell? So there's two ways you can kind of go about this. My biggest thing with causing a scene is basically training people with embarrassment. Like if you make a scene big enough, you will traumatize this man with the amount that he feels embarrassed. That he will not touch another girl again Like some people and some men just have to be taught that way

But some people do have beliefs and a lot of men have beliefs where they think that they are allowed access to women's bodies And it's not disrespectful and they can just look and touch if they want and they need to be trained differently So if they get enough negative reactions from girls, that will do it, but also there's a flip side of that. Acknowledgement from pretty girls and acknowledgement from girls is better than feeling invisible. So they might do things knowing it's gonna provoke you

to get a reaction. So you might be in a catch 22 with trying to train them with embarrassment and give them the scene that they want. You never know who you're dealing with. You don't know what sick, like satisfaction, they get out of it. in a catch 22 with trying to train them with embarrassment and give them the scene that they want. You never know who you're dealing with. You don't know what sick, like satisfaction they get out of it. But okay, wait, I just thought of something good. Honestly, if they seem like one of the toxic, like, straighty men type, turn around and

practice getting your voice as manly as you can get it and pretend your transgender. I want you to speak like you're a man and scared to live in shit out of them. Not because it's bad or weird. Nothing against trans people at all, but like, men who are so fragile in their masculinity for them to make a move on something like that, they're gonna be traumatized. They're gonna be freaked out that they just accidentally, because they look at it like a man They're gonna be like oh my god. Just grab the man's ass You want to take their bad views and they're like misogyny and their homophobia and kind of turn it against them Like make them think they just grabbed a man dressed as a girl's ass do it

That would humble them and make them never do it again because they be shit scared because That would humble them and make them never do it again because they be shit scared because they're gonna go home be questioning themselves Like you're gonna like turn this whole situation against them So I feel like that's funny. I feel like that's something I could condone online that like I won't get no backlash Maybe you fucking know now. We got to talk about hello fresh I've talked about them before and it's because I love them So with hello fresh you get farm fresh pre-port ingredients, and seasonal recipes delivered right to your doorstep. Skip trips to the grocery store and count on Hello Fresh to make home cooking easy, fun, and affordable. That's why it's America's number one meal kit.

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per box while your subscription is active. That's free breakfast for life at HelloFresh.com slash AwareFree with code AwareFree. And that's all I have to say about America's number one meal kit. Love them. Alright, the next person said, my brother recently got in a relationship and he was my closest person, my best friend. We talked all the time. And now, since he's gotten to this girl, he's been up her ass and distanced himself. He's rude to me and says hurtful things and there's a lot more to this. I want to talk about this situation and how I navigate friends or people I'm close to getting in a relationship and then kind of distancing themselves or

just being fully invested in that person. This is something people are going to have to learn to balance on their own. So whenever someone who doesn't know how to balance having multiple connections in their life gets into a relationship, the person they're dating and your brother's new girlfriend, that is gonna be his new main focus of connection. He's gonna want to get everything from her and prioritize that connection over all others. Like a lot of people think your partner is the only one who is able to meet needs for you and be there for you and be able to have a connection with you. A lot of people don't know and don't understand. You can have them with a lot of people.

You need to have friends. You need to have people outside of this relationship. But this is something people learn the hard way. And there's no talking to them. There's no nothing because this new person for someone who doesn't understand the balance, like your brother is just going to look at this girl like that's his only source of connection, the only person that can be there for him.

A lot of people get in very deep emotionally with their partners and it infects their mind and they get obsessed and they fixate and that's where all their time, attention and energy is in because they want to stabilize and maintain this connection because they're not looking at the other connections that they have. But your brother is going to have to experience losing her and then having no one to understand how to make this balance and keep this balance because when he loses this girl and realizes he's no longer close to you, no longer close to his friends, no longer close to your parents, he's going to feel so alone

and isolated and he's going to try and repair these relationships with you guys and if he does that and gets close with you again, he is much less likely to leave that again because he's going to experience the loss of the connection with this girlfriend and then have nothing rebuild this connection and feel a sense of connection with everyone in his life and then understand a partner is not your only sense of connection and he's going to learn how to prioritize and make sure to maintain other connections in his life when he gets another girlfriend. This is something people have to learn the hard way and it's something I had to learn the hard way. I had to go through this too

with having my relationship being so bad and toxic that it absorbed all of my focused time, effort and attention and I neglected everybody else. And when I left this motherfucker and had to go back to like nothing and having to rebuild all these connections, I learned for all future relationships, I'm giving attention to all of them,

but there is no talking to someone in the moment. Like there's no talking to them while they're in it usually. And this person wrote that she's tried to talk to them and it hasn't worked or been productive. So this is where I'm saying, this is someone who cannot be talked to. He's just gonna have to fall on his ass and have no one to pick him up and then it'll come back to all of you and then he will learn this valuable lesson of One connection does not replace all of the other ones in your life and you need all of them

Because if you lose one and you have nothing that's how you get trapped in the whole going back Loop and you never feel like a sense of connection again because you think it lives in just this one person that you lost. So that's just something you're gonna have to sit there and deal with and I'm sorry you're going through it. He's gonna learn, she's gonna have to be the hard way. So distance yourself, deal with being upset, deal with feeling bad but when he does loser, be there for him and see how that goes. If he hasn't done anything to like fully make you want to cut him off, like just distance yourself and then feel it out. Okay, the next person said, basically, I have two guys that I'm interested in and I like them both a lot and they're both great and I see a future with both.

How do I choose one and do I have to choose one? What would Leo do? Who baby? Okay, so It's very common for people to date multiple people at once. I'm not someone who does this But this is very normal and it's kind of like a safe thing to do when you're casually dating to play the field. A lot of people like to do it. But if there's no titles and neither of them have like locked anything down or voiced to you, I don't want you seeing anyone else, then you're kind of free to figure out and get to know each one and see which one you like more. I'm gonna give you a tip in a second about how to figure out which one you like more. But do not let these guys know about each other. Do

not let people know you have options. Please do not because if you have someone in front of you who is really into you and really down for you and they find out you have another option and you're entertaining someone else, they might cut you off. I absolutely would and I have many times with people as soon as I know I'm not the only person who has your attention you're gone you're clapped on go fuck so my biggest thing is like do not tell either one and do not let either one no you're talking to the other one okay we're just gonna keep that to be nice. But the way you can figure out which one you want to pick or like which one you actually want to be with is think about if they ghosted you. Who would you be more sad ghosted you? Which one would you be like, damn it, I wish it was the other one.

You know what I mean? Which one would you be more upset if they both ghosted you? Which one would you be more upset about losing? And another way you can kind of figure this out, and I love to make decisions like this to figure out what I actually want, is get a quarter or like a coin

and like heads or tails, assign one guy to one side and another guy to the other and flip it. Like throw it in the air and flip the coin. Then whichever one it lands on tell yourself that's who I'm gonna choose. Like universe you can pick. And while the coin is in the air, pay attention to which one you hope it lands on. And before you pick it up, just pay attention to which side you hoped it landed on. And that's the one you should probably pick. Okay. Okay, the next person said, it's a guy. He has a girlfriend and said she keeps talking about her ex.

She gaspulates me and says, no, I don't when I confront her about it. And she makes me feel bad for even bringing it up. What would Leo do? So first thing is pay attention to how she talks about the X. Is she talking about him in a good way or is she talking about him in a bad way? Is she talking about him and criticizing things that he did because you can get a lot of information through that?

Um, someone talking about their ex a lot. It shows that they're on their mind a lot, which I would not be cool with. I don't want you talking about no goddamn bad you've been with before. Like unless it's applicable to a story or gaining understanding about you and why you are how you are, then I want to know everything. But for someone to just be talking about their ex a lot, definitely weird. It definitely raises the question of like, why is this person on your mind so much? You know? then I wanna know everything. But for you, someone just be talking about their ex a lot. Definitely weird. It definitely raises the question

of like, why is this person on your mind so much? You know? But my biggest thing with saying, watch how she talks about the ex. Is she expressing needs she has and needs that are unmet or were unmet? Cause you can kinda tell a lot about what's going on there with her

and get to know her more about it. Like, this might be a subconscious way of her exposing things and explaining things and revealing things to you So pay attention for that But also don't ever feel bad for bringing that up for asking why the hell you talking about him so much She keeps gaslighting you and says no, I don't because it makes her uncomfortable to face the fact that she is talking about him a lot the X hearing about the X all the time makes you uncomfortable. But when you bring it up and say something about it, it makes her uncomfortable, but she don't want to deal with that, she just wants you to be uncomfortable.

Now we're sharing it. If you're making me uncomfortable and you don't want to address it because it makes you uncomfortable, guess what? I'm not shutting up neither. Just like you wouldn't stop talking about your X, now we both going be uncomfortable. Now what? We're gonna talk about it or I walk. That's kind of my approach to it. Like for you to be uncomfortable and bothered by something and she don't even want to pay it no mind, shows the major disconnect and this situation is kind of tricky but really not. Her not caring that you're uncomfortable by something she's doing says a lot.

She can't even on up to the fact and look at what she's doing to cause you to be uncomfortable. Red Fag. Red Fag is fuck. Be prepared to leave. But don't stop nagging her about it. Don't stop like bringing it up. If something makes you uncomfortable, voice it. And if it keeps being met with gaslighting and no I don't.

Im rejection and like denial and all that Okay, I'm gonna be with someone else then okay, ciao And that is all I've got for this episode of what would Leo do if you want a chance to have your situation put in the next one Have me read it and tell you what I would do I'll put the link in the description where you could submit what you have to say it's all anonymous I don't know who writes anything so you're safe there But tour tickets are in the description also my social media links to everything you need will be in the description and if you enjoyed this video and you're watching it on YouTube Leave it a thumbs up and hit the subscribe button

What are you doing if you watch me this far? It means you like me so stick around and if you're listening to the audio version on Apple Podcasts and Spotify They mean a five stars rating just cuz this time just cuz Thanks, but everybody be safe take care of yourself and I will talk to you guys next Sunday Nobody goes on vacation for the moments that are just Okay, that's why sunwing vacationers go all in like it's a buffet of fun whether you're skimming the tree tops like Tarzan's long-lost twin Or deep-end swimming with your flippers and fins. Or maybe you're just perfecting the art of doing absolutely nothing.

Whatever vacation you are, with sunwing, you save more, so you can do more. Book with your local travel agent, or... Hey!