Aware & Aggravated - 105. How To Survive The Holidays & Why Everything Feels So Weird

Episode Date: December 3, 2023

In this episode Leo breaks down why the holiday season feels so off, why everything feels more difficult, and how to make it through without falling too far off track. His words in this episode will give you the biggest sense of comfort, validation, and clairty. He also shares a message for people going into holidays without certain loved ones and how to navigate the heartbreak of it.    🎟️ TOUR DETAILS AND TICKETS:  https://linktr.ee/leoskepitour   ✅ FOLLOW ME HERE: https://www.instagram.com/theleoskepi https://www.tiktok.com/@leoskepi https://www.snapchat.com/add/leoskepi   😁 WWLD Submissions: https://forms.gle/sNtQjjwvXUisfdgh9   👕 MERCH https://shopleoskepi.com/collections/   📱 MY APP POSITIVE FOCUS Apple: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/positive-focus/id1559260311 Google: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.positivefocusapp&hl=en_US&gl=US&pli=1    🔒 MY PRIVATE FACEBOOK SUPPORT COMMUNITY  https://m.facebook.com/groups/851294735925522/?ref=sharehttps://m.facebook.com/groups/851294735925522/?ref%3Dshare&exp=7ffb&mibextid=I6gGtw    📝 ACCOUNTABILITY TEMPLATES/WORKSHEETS  https://leoskepitemplates.com   Business Inquiries: [e-mail]

Hi friends, this week I'm gonna teach you how to survive the holidays. I'm gonna grumpy ass mood, call me the Grinch if you will. I don't care. Not having a good time, not having a good day. And I think this is the perfect time to talk about how to survive the holidays. And like December as a whole. Because you got a couple of holidays, whatever you celebrate is your thing. I'm not gonna name names.

Whatever you celebrate, celebrate it. Then you got new years right after it. And this month, everybody acts like this time of year is the best time of the year. It's the worst for a lot of people. And I'm going to break down a lot of things that are going to make you feel a little bit more sane about it because it sucks. I hate this time of year. Everybody acts like it's so happy and it's so fun. Everything's going to be great. It's awful. The energy is just off. Everything's weird. Everybody's weird And I want to break a couple things down. You need to be aware of kind of prepare you mentally for it

And we're gonna suffer together through this month and they get back on track in January. Okay So the way I like to put it in my head this time of year to keep myself kind of sane and like not fall too far off track is keep myself kind of sane and like not fall too far off track. It's reminding myself, everything you've been doing, the way you've been living your life changes in December. It's like playing Mario Kart and you're used to driving on this track. And for 11 months out of the year, you drive this same track.

In December, your map changes. Like you're playing Call of Duty. You got a new location. You're playing Mario Kart. It's a new map. Like you have to get adjusted to this new map because if you do not, and if you just try and go about December, like you do the rest of the year, and think you're going to be the same level of productive and happy and energized and all this and that, babe, you're going to

come in last place. You're not going to make it. When you don't kind of prepare yourself mentally, everything just feels worse. So that's the way I kind of like to look at it is for the month of December, we're changing our map, like the not we're changing it, the map changed, like everything we're doing, the way everything feels is different. You got a new map to play on. So adjusting to this new map for this month is important.

And first thing I want to say about what this new map is like is everything seems harder. And it's because it is every single thing seems harder. And it's because it is. Every single thing seems harder. Now I wanna go into why. So everything seems harder just cause the energy's off and what contributes to that is everyone being so stressed out. Every single person is stressed.

There's this immense pressure on everyone right now like going to work feels weird. The time of day feels weird. Like everybody's ready to go to sleep by 5 p.m. because of this damn time change. Like it's just off, it's weird. It's getting cold. Like for a lot of places it's already been cold for a minute

but like not it's like bone chilling cold in an L.A. it's like I'm freezing my ass. Like I'm freezing sitting here making this. Everybody's in a place right now where they're trying to juggle their plans of like, how they're gonna take off work or what they're gonna do with their time off from school. Which family they're trying to juggle their plans of like how they're going to take off work or what they're going to do with their time off from school, which family they're going to go see. There's so many different things you're trying to take into consideration with planning,

travel and planning like who you're going to see at what time because a lot of people have broken families and you have to go to one side for one part and one side to the other. And it takes away from the day of excitement and it's like you're just stressed trying to like it turns to do it to do list of like making sure everybody else is happy So there's a lot of stress around the holidays from like the planning it aspect and figure out where you're going Who you're gonna go see and like when you're gonna see them? Everybody has to spend money right now and most people are annoyed about it Everybody's pissed off. I gotta go spend money on people and a lot of people don't like to be with their families.

And to add on the fact of like, oh, I gotta go buy you gifts. I gotta go like, come out of pocket for this. A lot of people are irritated. And a lot of people are financially stressed. Bad. And I don't care who you are. Everybody is stressed around the holidays for money. Because also taxes are coming in at the beginning of the year.

So everybody is fucked. But with that, all these different things stressing every single person out. This is why when you have conversations with people or you're working or you're interaction with people just seem off. Like everybody is so stressed out, everybody's so preoccupied, everybody's so tired and drained, and trying to think of so many things. And this is when a lot of relationship issues come up. So like that's one thing. If you're in a relationship, prepare for issues to arise because everybody is so short-fused

because everybody, like I said, is so distracted and taking up all their attention with so many other things, everybody's stressed, everybody's emotional. A lot of people are sad this time of year because it's their first holiday or it's another holiday without one of their loved ones and that's a lot and that's heartbreaking and it's very fucking sad. When you take all this and you're trying to like function normally and then have a relationship,

there's gonna be issues popping up everywhere because everyone is so much more short fuse. Like everyone is a lot more emotional. Whether they realize it or not, even the people who aren't aware and awake are stressed too, they just don't know why, but like everything seems tense off, weird, and I want to validate that because I know I'm not the only one feeling it. Everybody feels it, no one can put words to it, and that's what I'm good at. So this is part of it contributing to all this. So now that you have a better understanding of of why we all feel so weird, trying to do

everything you've been doing, like I said, is gonna feel harder because it is. You now have all this emotional weight and chaos and turmoil going on in your head and your heart and you're trying to focus and continue on the path you were on, babe, new map. Because going to the gym is gonna feel harder. Going to work is gonna feel harder during this time right now. And everything feels so hard because while you're trying to deal

with all these emotions and everything feeling weird and off, it feels harder to go to the gym, it feels harder to go to work, it feels harder to hang out with people. So when you do consistently try and keep up with your routine and your schedule that you've been doing, it's going to take nothing but willpower. You're going to be exhausting yourself and exhausting your discipline and that makes you mentally tired.

So when you do that, you're probably not going to be as consistent in the gym. You're probably not going to be hanging out with your friends as much. Work is going to feel like hell, 10 times worse. Everything's just going to take so much more strength during this month. And that's why I say, you have to ask yourself, how realistic is it for you to continue forward on this new map and live like you're still playing on the old map on Mario Kart. You're going to have to change your routine and your schedule and see how realistic it is to expect yourself to live up to your expectations and also

juggle everything that comes with December. I'm gonna go ahead and warn you, your whole routine is gonna have to change because you don't have as much time. You do not have as much free time and the time that you had arranged for like the way you were living your life is now gonna have to be spent on other things. You got a shop, you got a plan, you got a travel, you got to deal with and see certain people. Like there's so much time you do not have that you had before. So your routine's gonna have to change. Because on top of that, you got all the emotions

to deal with too. It's a literal shit show. And I just wanna make this episode, and I wanna keep rantin' about this and explain in this because it's very isolating, it feels very lonely. It's like, you feel like you're the only one going insane. No, we're all losing it babe.

So my biggest advice before you stress out about trying to make a new routine and do all that, the way I approach this month is more living day to day. And what can I do with this hour? And like living hour to hour, whenever I get too stressed out or too overwhelmed, because you're going to be tired, you're going to be exhausted.

Like I said, so if you go into your first task of the day or your first meeting or whatever it is you have to do first during the day and you know you have 12 more things on your to-do list, that's going to stress you out, bum you out and make you feel even more tired and you're not going to want to do it and you're most likely not going to get to everything. So just look at the thing in front of you, zoom in, focus in, focus on the hour at hand to get yourself through the day. Some days it's gonna be easier, some days it's gonna be harder, but that's the way I've found. And instead of trying to follow like a rigid set routine, I'll live hour to hour and day to day. And like, if I have to work out less and go to the gym less, then I will. Like something is still better than nothing,

but I can't expect myself to be on this rigid schedule when everything in life is kind of like up in the air. This is a month of like inconsistency and like random shit just popping up. Like random events, parties, anything you could think of is just very sporadic and random and trying to be like rigid with your routine while all these random things keep popping up, it's gonna make you feel more insane. So I'd say do what you can and when I say live day to day, I mean this is a time where you can follow your energy level. You can let your energy level guide you for what you're gonna do.

So like today, do you feel like you can work out? Do you feel like you can go shopping? Do you feel like you can go to work? And that's it. What are the things that you think you can do during the day and do them? There are non-negotiables, like I said, but get less rigid just for this month

on everything else having to be perfect and scheduled and everything has to be done like it normally is. Like I said, new map, new routine, and the whole point is like, your routine now is just the non-negotiables of like what you have to do to just get done to survive. Leave what you have energy for after that. Like if you can go to the gym, go.

Something's better than nothing. And that's my biggest thing on that. But like, can you go shopping one day? Like if you feel up to it one day, go shopping. Don't try and like plan it out too hard. Don't try and plan when you're gonna do what? Like let's your energy guide you because like if you wake up one day

and you have a little energy, but you're like, no, I'm supposed to go do these, these, and these things, but you're like, actually I wanna go shopping. Go shopping. Go do the thing when you have the energy for it. When that little inspiration pops up, go spend it on the thing that you're like,

okay, I can do that. Or I can go to the gym today. Get up and go that day. and keep going like when you have the inspiration and you have like the motivation to do it, go for the thing that you feel like you have energy for and get that done because two days later, when you actually have it scheduled, you might not have the energy and it's going to feel like hell. So that's where I'm saying you have to let your emotions and your energy level guide you a little bit. I'm saying you have to let your emotions and your energy level guide you a little bit.

I'm not saying slack off with discipline. I'm just saying give yourself a little grace and relax this month. Like let off the gas a little. It's a new map, you got a whole new routine that you gotta like adjust to. And there's a whole new way you're gonna have to navigate this month, everything feels weird.

You got all these emotions to deal with. Just give yourself a little grace and be prepared to fight with everybody because relationship issues gone come up, you're a. And I'm not just saying like people you're dating, like friends, you might bicker a little bit, you might have some issues with your family. Like this just kind of like flares up everything

because like I said, everyone's extra sensitive. So just give yourself grace this month and take it a little easy. Try and stay sane. And just remember me saying new map. You got to adjust to it. And something people ask me a lot about with the holidays is eating and like how to stay on track with eating. Relax. Like eat a little. Don't take it overboard. Enjoy yourself yourself get a little comfort food it's hoodie season you can wear you look hoodie I'm extra like like skinny right now because I had a shoot two days ago that I had to like a photo shoot that I had to

look skinny for like I dehydrated myself and like ate like a rabbit for two days so I could like look up for the photos now I'm eating again but if you don't have anything work related that you have to like look good for that's not typical for people like a lot of people don't deal with like oh I have a photo shoot I'm eating again, but if you don't have anything work-related that you have to look good for, that's not typical for people. Like a lot of people don't deal with like, oh, I have a photo suit. I'm such an asshole. But if you don't have anything you have to look good for,

chill out. Like just enjoy yourself for the month. And when January comes, you're gonna get back on track. The map's gonna change back to what you're used to. You're gonna have all your free time again. You're gonna have mental clarity and emotional stability and be able to hop back on track like and get everything going good again.

So if you eat a little extra this month, okay. So be it. Like if you got a comfort eat and get yourself through the holidays, do it. If you got a drink a little to deal with your family, I am mad at you. Like, I'm probably going to. I really don't not like my family. I have a home of my family, but it's just fun to drink

So like it's fun to drink with your family, but like a lot of people drink to deal with their family So if you're gonna do it do it if you have an addiction and you have like an actual problem I'm not condoning you like oh you just fuck it just go do it. That's not who I'm talking to That's what I'm talking about you stay sober you got this but for everybody else who like drinks to deal with their family just Sell be it be careful. Don't drink too much keep it cute and Stop stressing so damn hard like this honestly like is an episode I'm talking to myself and like stop stressing so damn hard You're gonna be okay. It's just gonna be a month from hell and another thing I want to talk about why it feels like hell is

be okay. It's just going to be a month from hell. And another thing I want to talk about why it feels like hell is the whole spending money thing. Don't stress out too hard about spending money on gifts and travel and all these things for people. This is going to send you into a frenzy. A lot of people's biggest stress is their financial life. So, if you don't really have the extra money to be spending right now, don't feel like you have to go overboard and do so much for everybody. Do what you can, spend the money you have that you're comfortable spending. Spend it, get it over with, go on your trips

or go on your travel, do what you need to do and just understand this period of like, financial stress is not forever. Like this is just for this month. Next month you're fine, you're back to normal, you're gonna be able to save again, you can cut back on some stuff, rebound from this month. Next month, you're fine. You're back to normal. You're gonna be able to save again. You can cut back on some stuff, rebound from this month, whatever you wanna do.

But like a lot of people get trapped in the stress like financially of seeing all this money go out. It's just this time of year. It's gonna happen. Don't spend nothing crazy. Spend what you're comfortable with. But like the money that you're comfortable with spending.

And you're like, okay, I can afford that. Just let the money go. Just spend it. Enjoy the process of like buying the gifts. Even if you don't like the and you're like, okay, I can afford that. Just let the money go. Just spend it. Enjoy the process of like buying the gifts, even if you don't like the person you buy it for. Just try and like, enjoy it. Like, okay, this money is like not real money. Because like, you're okay with losing it.

So just go spend it, go buy what you need to buy. Be thoughtful, be creative if you can't spend a lot of money. And just understand that this financial stress is not gonna be here forever. Like, it's heightened. Like, hell during the holidays, but it's not forever. It's just for now. So that's one thing I really wanted to point out, because oh, I be stressing. Oh, I be stressing.

Like, I know I make good money now, but like I'm still stressed, because like the gifts people expect from you once you hit a certain level, they go up and you income, so it's like damn. And I don't buy things with people out of obligation. Like, oh, I have to spend this much because I make this much. I do it because I want to, but there's still a little stress behind. You know, the price we know, on some stuff I gotta get. I just like, ah. And since we're talking about the holiday spirit and all that, if you're wondering of a gift to get somebody Or you want to get something for yourself. Let's go for this time of year today's sponsor Vessie

Might help you out a little bit. So Vessie is the footwear brand that makes weatherproof shoes So if you got someone that you want to shop for who goes on hikes a lot or to go to beach a lot Or I got a really ugly pair of rain boots that you want to Fix for them so their style is cute You want to give them some shoes they can wear in the rain and wear in all the elements. Vessie might be able to help. So they don't only have shoes.

They have a lot of other accessories of things too that you can check out. If you see something you want to get for a friend, go for it. Because if you use code aware, check out. You get 15% off. They're doing a lot of free shipping to a lot of places right now.

So your country might be included. So if you want to go check them out and see what they've got, you can go to vessie.com slash aware, which is vessi.com slash aware. And then at checkout use my code aware. I don't make money from it. It's just to let them know that you came from me. So go see what they got. Go see if they have a gift that you could get for somebody.

Get your little discount, get you some free shipping. And also look for yourself. Buying all these gifts for everybody everybody that's my downfall as I'll be buying gifts to everybody really I'll be buying it for myself too but thank you to Vesy for sponsoring today's podcast. Okay the next little thing I want to talk about with holidays being weird is that weird timing when the holidays like happen like that day when you're all together and shit just feels weird. Like you're all waiting for dinner or you're all waiting for lunch or you're all waiting for like gifts

or like that in-between period where you're just like around everybody and you have a sudden have all this free time. You're anticipating this thing where we're all together but it's like the most weird nasty feeling. I don't know how to describe it, but you all know what I'm talking about. It's like, what do I do? Do I like go sit in my room and watch a YouTube video? Do I go sit in the bathroom pretend I'm taking a shit so I can get away from everybody? What do I do? Like this weird waiting period.

It's very uncomfortable and it's weird. And especially for people who were like busy a lot, like when you have all this, all of a sudden, like free time open up, but you cannot do what you usually do because you're trapped for this holiday. It's uncomfortable. Like all of a sudden, there's this free time, but you're not able to go do what you normally do because you're with your family or your with certain people

or in your inner, certain circumstance. You're not able to go fill your time with what you don't fill it with. So you just gotta sit there like an ass. It's just like, it's very uncomfy. And I just wanted to bring that up because that is a weird one to deal with. So like, I'll like watch a YouTube video.

I'll go like talk to like a cousin or like one of the family members I like and just like, key, or like I'll get on a TikTok. Or like just do something, but it's the weirdest feeling and we all feel it. And nobody talks about it. That's why I wanted to bring this up. It's the weirdest sensation. just sitting around waiting. I don't like it.

But when this time period hits and you start thinking and getting stressed, like, oh my god, I should be doing this. This and this are like, I finally have free time. I can go work on this. This and this. Don't stress too much about trying to fit work into this. Just enjoy the damn holiday. Enjoy the time off Stop stress in about what you're not doing or what you could should be doing. Just go to the holiday Spend it with your family spend the time leave business aside. No one's really doing shit When the holidays are here and that's one thing that's also annoying like going anywhere shopping oh my god everybody's like the chicken with her head cut off like they're running around like their maniacs and they're an ass to deal with it's like carons are like summoned this time of year and everybody like I said is so stressed out they be acting out of character and a lot of people are like driving nuts they're weird as hell when they're shopping or like going places doing things, rude as hell to customer service,

like going out to eat, people are mad, weird. And like everybody's on edge. So like, not kind of went on a little tangent. But like, prepare yourself mentally when you're going out in the world. Everybody is acting like it's a full moon. Everybody's acting like our water's being pulled

in all these directions. And everybody just acts weird. Like everybody's kind of like strange. But my point with bringing up nobody's really working or like things aren't usually open and going right around a half of the days is if you're gonna try and force yourself to work, no one's gonna be at the other end of the email. No one's gonna be at the other end of what you need to do. So just let it go for a minute or you can be the one that's not there and everybody else can take a break. Like if you have to work work, but what I mean is like if you're the the type where, oh, I can go get this done, I have some free time.

Don't even worry about it. Like just be in the moment, enjoy the damn time with your family. Because January 1st, everything is gonna kick back on. You have to go back to work and handle everything. So just enjoy the time off while you got it. And I'm kinda like talking to your mind to kinda like give it peace

because this is how I handle things and it makes me feel a lot better. But just remember me saying this when you're in that weird little waiting period between days, like sometimes this lasts for days. It's like two days before I'm going to see everybody and go see my family and like have this little event. I don't know what to do with myself. Nothing's open. Everything feels weird. Can't work. Like you're just kind of like, it's just the numb, weird, can't work, like you're just kind of like, it's just the numb, weird, like, icky feeling. It's like you feel like you're just in a fog. So expect it. No, it's coming. And I hope it doesn't come, but like when it does come, just prepare for

it. And no, it's just part of it. And you're gonna get through it. You're gonna be fine. And for everybody who's going through their first holiday without a loved one It's gonna be hard as hell. It's gonna suck But I want you to lean on people who are in the same boat lean on the people who are in your life It's okay to be sad about it. It's okay to miss people lean on other people who are missing family members There's plenty of ways to like you know somebody who has lost a family member and is having to go to the holiday too. Go be with them. Go hang out with them.

Reach out to them. Do something with people that you can relate to and connect to, especially at this time. Because if your friends with someone and they have like, their whole family is together and it's like a perfect unit and they invite you to come over and you've just lost someone close to you and your family feels destroyed. To go in and see that, you're gonna feel so isolated and disconnected from that. A lot of people would like to go like, experience that,

but don't feel bad if you don't want to. If you don't feel up to it, don't do that. Like, don't go be around people who don't understand the pain that you're in. Like, if you wanna go find someone who's also lost the family member and go spend time with them, that makes full sense,

because they're gonna get it, and you're going to feel understood and you're going to feel like close to someone for a second and you're going to feel like you're suffering together through this holiday and I say suffering because that's what it feels like. You're in a lot of pain. So you wanting to not be like you're suffering alone is totally fine. Go find someone to just get through these goddamn couple of days with. Like just do it for yourself. Don't feel bad about it and don't feel bad for telling other people like you don't want to go to their thing. Like do what you want to do because this is going to be hard.

Now the last thing I want to say is try. Ooh, y'all going to get mad when I say this, especially to people who don't like their family. Try to enjoy the holidays. Just any aspect about what you're gonna do with your family or whoever you're gonna be with. If you're dreading it, just try to enjoy it. Like any aspect of it you can think of that you enjoy

like getting to travel or getting to eat good or getting to finally be around people or catch up with old friends or whatever it is. Any aspect you can appreciate about the togetherness, even if you don't like everybody, try to appreciate it because things are not going to be like this forever. You never know what's going to happen. You never know who you're going to lose. You never know what life has in store or who's is coming to an end and Next year when you go and it's different. You'll look back and wish

You just enjoyed it a little bit So like I know it's easy to cut up on the negativity and the being annoyed with everybody But now that you understand we're all feeling this way and we're all kind of in this boat, just look for any aspect about the togetherness that you can find that you appreciate about being with your family or friends or whoever you're with for the holiday.

And just enjoy it, because things are not gonna be like this forever. And that's something I wish I would have done a long time ago was appreciate every holiday just for where I was and who I was with at the time Because I'm in a period right now where every year it's different and every year it's hard This is just a really hard time for a lot of people And I just want all of you to know that you're not alone in it. Like some people love the holidays and don't give a flying shit. But for the people who the holidays are painful for,

you're not alone in it. And the heartbreak every year that comes from it, I'm right here with you. And we're both dealing with it together. But these were the things that I kind of like tell myself to get myself through all this. So I hope this helped. And I hope this made you feel a little bit better,

or at least feel not so alone. But also, if you want a gift idea for yourself and for somebody else, get them a ticket to my tour. There's still some tickets left. The link's in the description. I'll also put the links on my social media in the description, everything you need for me, my app. That'll help you get some notifications and positive things coming at you

throughout this little time. Download that positive focus. But if you enjoyed this video and you're watching on YouTube leave it a thumbs up. If you're listening to the audio version on Apple Podcasts and Spotify leave me a five-star rating for five goddamn headaches we're gonna have. But that's all I got for this week. Everybody stay safe actually stay strong take care of yourself, and I'll talk to you guys next Sunday.