Aware & Aggravated - 122. Caring About What People Think Makes Them Not Like You

Episode Date: March 31, 2024

In this episode Leo shares exactly how to stop caring what people think, and how to completely repair your relationship to the opinions of others. You'll no longer feel the pressure to change for people, and feel allowed to take up space. He also breaks down how to deal with criticism by understanding it and then sharing how to protect yourself mentally and emotionally from it.   🎟️ TOUR TICKETS:  https://events.seated.com/leo-skepi   ✅ FOLLOW ME HERE: https://www.instagram.com/leoskepi https://www.tiktok.com/@leoskepi https://www.snapchat.com/add/leoskepi   👕 Clothing/Merch:  https://leoskepicollection.com   📱 MY APP POSITIVE FOCUS Apple: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/positive-focus/id1559260311 Google: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.positivefocusapp&hl=en_US&gl=US&pli=1    🔒 MY PRIVATE FACEBOOK SUPPORT COMMUNITY  https://m.facebook.com/groups/851294735925522/?ref=sharehttps://m.facebook.com/groups/851294735925522/?ref%3Dshare&exp=7ffb&mibextid=I6gGtw    Business Inquiries: [e-mail]  

Hi friends. This week we're getting deep with it. We're gonna talk about how to truly stop caring what people think about you and also how to deal with criticism and deal with people having a lot to say because that's very common in society now. Everybody wants to run their mouth and they feel justified to do it. We got a lot to break down. I'm gonna hit a lot of deep psychological aspects of this and truly help you experience the relief of just other people's opinions, the weight of them just lifting off. Goodbye. Get the fuck out of here. And tickets are still on sale for my tour that I'm doing in the summer. So if you want to

see if I'm coming to a city near you, I'll put the link in the description. Buy a ticket. Trust me. If you have any inkling of an issue with a topic of confidence, that's what I hate at my live shows, but I'm going to give you a little taste of what my live events are like with this episode, with how deep we get into things, but I'm going to take you on a little journey. We got to go through a lot of stuff with this. I'm going to start off with teaching you how to stop giving a fuck from my experience. It's a mentality that is earned. So I'm going to walk you through and help you avoid going through all the process of it and just get you straight to the mentality. I'm going to share how we get there.

I'm also going to break down why people criticize you because that's very important. Then we're going to go into how to stop being impacted by it. Also being impacted by the doubt and the thoughts that you have in your head, worrying what people think and then how to not be impacted by what people say. And when you actually hear voiced criticism, because that's a whole bitch in itself is dealing with just the walking out in public and you're so anticipating what everybody's thinking and assuming. We're going to hit all of it. And I'm going to give you my tactics for how to choose your reaction and your response to things. And at the end, we're going to polish this off with the end all be all, just stop giving a fuck forever and always put it in the envelope and send it.

So the first thing to clear up with wanting to stop caring what people think about you, the having the desire to stop caring. It's not that you want to stop caring what people think. You want to stop being run by it. Caring what people think about you is not the issue. It's your relationship to the thoughts about what people think of you because you keep changing your actions because of them. You let these thoughts dictate you, change you, mold you, and make you basically navigate through life. That's what's annoying. That's what the bitch is. But the relationship to the thoughts are the issue. And then the actions you take because of that relationship are the second issue.

But thoughts and emotions do not require action. And that's an aspect of emotional discipline. And lack of discipline makes you ugly. That's our most popular podcast episode for a reason. This makes you ugly. If you take action off of every single thought and emotion you feel, you're someone who's

just going to be run around by thoughts and feelings. That's not very attractive. It's very childish to me. The last thing I want to clear up before we jump into the not giving a fuck mentality is your assumption about what people think about you is what you're going to see proof of. So you know how you go out in public and you assume people are, you might not even know that you're assuming this,

but you just feel judged and watched in public. You're assuming people are judging you when you're out in public, when you feel discomfort, when you feel weird, when you feel watched, when you feel like just uncomfy, it's because you're assuming people are looking at you and judging you. You assume people look at you like you're out of place. You assume people are looking at you to nitpick you. The same way you can assume they're nitpicking you and they're judging you.

You can also assume the opposite of maybe they like me. Maybe they're admiring me. Maybe they're happy I'm here. So just becoming aware of it can go both ways is going to help you kind of relieve that anxiety of being out in public and feeling like you're being watched all the time. If you think you're being watched in a negative way, it's what you will feel. If you think you're being watched in an admirable way or like a happy way, or people really aren't fucking looking at you. Cause most of the time they're

not. Everybody's got their own head up their own ass. The thing to see here is whatever you assume is what you're going to see proof of and it's going to cause what you're feeling. So next time you're in public and you're feeling weird or you feel like people are staring at you, look around for a second. Are they actually? And what are you assuming about them looking at you? Or what are you assuming just being in public? Become aware of the thoughts going through your head. Social media is a different ballgame babe. We're gonna get there. So with earning the ability to not give a

fuck and earning the mindset of not caring what people think, I'm going to go ahead and tell you the process of it so you can skip it and not have to go through it. But basically step one, you got to start off being a people pleaser to the max. You have to literally care about what people think so much that it leads you to a point of utter exhaustion. And there's three shortcuts to get to that exhaustion. The first one is trying to desperately be loved and be anything anyone wants that gets you acceptance. And just being what you think everybody else would like from you and would want you to be.

Friendship, relationship, as a child, trying to people please and literally try so hard to change yourself to be anything that you see as lovable that's gonna exhaust the piss out of you because it's never gonna work and I'm speaking from experience because I've been there I've tried everything in my childhood I tried every goddamn thing you could think that's why I have so many skills and I'm so good at so many things and I know so many random things I tried everything I did everything never worked because it's not the real you That's the main thing to get is it's never gonna work because it is not you. It's a mask when you're trying to be all of these things. It's

not you. You will never truly feel accepted and you will never truly feel loved as long as you operate like this. But to kick this up a notch, it's gonna hurt your feelings. No one's ever gonna feel safe with you. You're never gonna feel safe with you because you constantly throw yourself away to be what everybody else wants, but no one's ever going to feel safe with you because you run around pretending like you don't have feelings and you don't have needs because you don't want to be a bother and you want to be accepted and approved of so bad. It's very off-putting when you act like you have no opinions or feelings or needs.

If you think about being around people who are themselves and they have opinions and they're not afraid to say what they like and say what they don't like, they're not afraid to say what bothers them. You feel safe because you know what you're getting involved with. You see what's in front of you. There's not this hidden anything. Like it's very safe to care about people who voice things and just are straight up about it and they're not pretending to be something that they're not. You feel safe, you feel calm. It honestly makes them feel easier to love

because you know what you're getting into. And everyone has needs, everyone has opinions. People like to pretend that they don't and be all holier than now and pretend like they don't really feel how they feel because they know it's gonna get them shamed. But when people do voice these things, your opinions, your feelings, whatever it is, you voice what you like, what you don't like, what you need from people, what you want, it gives people the opportunity to see how they can be there for you, what they can do for you, and what needs they can meet for you. Also, the only way you're going to find people with the same opinion as you is to have

an opinion. If you run around, never actually voicing an opinion, if it's asked for, if it's called for, if it's to relate, not to just be an asshole and attack people, but to have an opinion, to have a preference. The only way to find other people who have that same preference is to talk about it. If you just sit here and shut up, no one's ever going to know how you feel. You will never be able to relate and bond or find your people. I know that you're trying to play the whole safe route and be accepted is useless,

babe. But the main thing I want you to see with this, so you don't have to get to the point of exhaustion is it makes you easier to love when you voice things and you have needs and you have feelings. And if you have resistance to that, it's because you were taught the opposite in your life, but you're here because that didn't work. So another aspect that leads into the mentality of not giving a shit is trying so hard to cater yourself and change yourself

to not be offensive. That's the quickest way to be shamed is to offend other people. And when you try and cater yourself to not offending other people, you're going to hit that point of exhaustion where you're just like, I don't care anymore. Every single move I make, every single thing I do is exhausting because everybody's still offended. What's the point? That's the point you want to get to. And I'm going to help you see it.

But the main thing with this is it leaves you to get dicked around. That's how you're going to be. That's how you're going to be behaving and living life. It's just getting dicked around by what might offend somebody. Oh, I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to do that because it might be offensive. Society. Now the biggest hobby of society is to be offended. It's like walking in the minefield. It doesn't matter where you turn. They're all around. You just got to start choosing the one you step on. But the whole point with

this is you're basically going to be caught with a whole personality construction of trying to prove that you're good and you're going to make other people's perception of you more important than your perception of yourself and who you truly are. You're going to be solely running around life and living in a way where other people's perception of you is the most important. You're going to be living to prove that. You're going to be living to prove your worthiness and prove that you're good. And that's exactly how you feel lost and lose your identity and not know who you are as a person. I highly suggest avoiding that one, like the plague. Now the third aspect to hitting the mindset and like earning the mindset of not giving a shit is your relationship to criticism. So if you feel criticized and your relationship to criticism is

something needs to change when I am criticized, you are going to be powerless to criticism because every single time you experience it, you are going to feel the need to change yourself or be changing something. We are in a period right now with society. Criticism is at an all time high. If you really want to get to a point of exhaustion with this, to just finally earn the ability to be like, fuck it, let yourself be run by criticism. Feel that pressure to change and keep changing yourself. Keep doing it. I want you to get to that point of exhaustion. People please your ass off so you can earn

this ability. That's the only way there. But it's going to take another little secret form of ruining your life because you might be having this relationship with criticism. Like if I receive criticism, I have to change. So you're just going to lead with your best foot forward all of the time. That's another mask. You're going to be a certain way and portray yourself as acceptable or what you think is going to be most acceptable to avoid feeling that pressure to change. If you don't have a good relationship to criticism, you're going to be run by that pressure. Your way of avoiding that pressure is to present always acceptably so you don't have a good relationship to criticism, you're going to be run by that pressure. Your way of avoiding that pressure is to present always acceptably so you don't have to feel

the pressure to switch and flip yourself nonstop. This is just a shitty little psycho. I don't recommend. Now, I want to hit on why it feels good to change yourself and adapt and be what everybody wants. Oh, it's so enticing. It's so nice. But you need to become aware of what's going on psychologically and emotionally

so you can stop doing it. You have to understand the backend before you can stop doing it. You know, rip the bitch out by the root like a weed. So the first reason it feels really good to change and conform is because whenever you feel judgment, you feel pressure. The heat is on. It feels good to get that heat turned off if you don't know how to withstand it. So if changing who you are and how you are gets that pressure off, it's gonna feel like relief to change who you are if you do not see what's going on there.

If you're being told you are wrong, you're bad, you're this, you're that, you're immediately gonna feel inclined to make a change in the direction of where people want you to go. Because on the other side of it, there's this pressure you feel it's going to be gone, but love and acceptance, they convince you is going to be on the other side of it. So that's why it's going to feel good to comply, but you need to see that because you need to know that you can choose when and when not to. The other thing is it's gonna feel good to hide certain things about you, like that you have certain feelings because if you dealt with in the past the way you felt made things more difficult or

it was a bother that you felt a certain way or you're not allowed to feel that way, how dare you! You were shamed for it so it's gonna feel better to just hide certain things and it's a relief from that pressure. And it's also a protection that I have to face any backlash. But if you keep giving into the heat that's put on you and you keep conforming and changing to the judgment or the fear of judgment from other people, you're going to be left with an entire personality and an entire identity that is not yours. It's not going to be you.

It's just going to be all the little things that got you accepted or allowed you to avoid the heat. It's not the real you. You're going to feel the most disconnected, isolated, miserable, unhappy, lost, confused, drained. Oh, it's going to be awful. And the worst part of it is you are not going to respect yourself because you've just led your life folding under pressure.

You've not withstood any pressure. You're not a diamond. You a piece of dirt. But in all seriousness, you aren't going to respect yourself. If every time pressure comes up, you fold and you change, or you completely change everything so you don't even have to meet that pressure, you're never ever going to respect yourself and you're never going to feel safe with yourself. That's not respectable behavior. So it makes sense, but that's a little bit of a harsh approach. The other side I want to hit on because I've been through all of this, I had to rebuild all my self respect and go through this whole process of hell. But the

most painful thing is to have an entire personality that is built around this and have to go through experiencing the deconstruction of it because the pain of continuing is more pain than not continuing if you catch my drift. But you're gonna be back in the same position because once you find who you are you have to go through owning that you. The new you that you found and go through facing all the backlash and criticism again with the new you. You're gonna keep getting tested. It's gonna come back up. It's like you're gonna have to deconstruct who you're not. You've become aware of all this. Great. You're going to

have to go through the pain of deconstructing it, finding yourself again. Then you have to take the new you and walk forward owning that back into the criticism. You're going to face it. This seems a little cynical. This seems a little like negative, but it's the reality of it. Sorry, there's no way around it, but it's the reality of it. Sorry, there's no way around it, but it's all gonna get better. This is about to like completely like turn up. Now we're gonna get into why people criticize you

and everything in the world. If you literally look at the world right now, it's pathetic. Social media is a disease. Every single thing online is criticized to the nth degree. Literally. It's so sad to get online nowadays. Every single thing every person is doing is criticized on a grand scale.

I can't wait for in a few years for all of us to be studied and people to really see the impacts of this is like going to cause a new disease. Like this is a whole new mental disorder is chronically online. I can't wait for it to be studied. We're in the process of like experiencing it, but it's going to get studied one day and y'all are going to see the impacts of it. But everybody seems to be offended by everything. And it's because they want to feel offended. We're about to get into some shadow stuff here.

This is where it's going to get like deep psychology. People want to feel attacked. People want to feel offended because of what they get when they feel attacked. They finally get an excuse to be who they are, voice what they feel and be a little bit more authentic. Being offended and feeling offended gives people the justification to stop caring what people think. So that's their way of achieving, letting go of the pressure of caring what people think.

They let their anger bypass it. Some people have to feel angry to be authentic. Some people, the only way to escape the pressure of carrying what people think and being their true self and expressing what they feel and what they think is to feel attacked and feel offended. People are trying to be offended. That's what their brain is looking for because they don't see the relief that they get and how it's benefiting them. They're just running around attacking the shit out of people,

feeling justified for it, unaware of what's going on inside them. Another reason, in my opinion, why people like to feel attacked and offended by everything is because they've never had their feelings matter. They can't rely on people to consider them. They can't rely on people to consider how they feel. So when they feel offended by something, they feel justified to force their feelings to matter. You will look at how I feel. You will care. And they use this as kind of like a power play to force the person that said something or did something that offended them. That's the quickest way to get someone to pay attention and see it and care. If you shame somebody, if they feel like they offended you, most people are very quick to apologize and care that they hurt you.

Most of these people have learned the only way for people to care how they feel is to scream how hurt they are by something that you did because they're trying to get you get someone something to care how they feel and they use this moral obligation of you're a piece of shit if you don't care and they like to attack you it's such a weird dynamic that goes on mentally with all of this but basically some people have learned this is the only way for their feelings to be taken into consideration and to feel like anyone is paying attention to how they feel and cares how they feel. They have to get it

from people online or get it from people in public who they can paint an image that you've offended me so now you will make up to me. Now you will treat me nicely. Now you will care how I feel. Now you will acknowledge it. And this for someone who has never had their feelings be considered or matter to anyone, this is better than not being considered at all. This is why you see these people behave the way that they do. It's like, what the fuck? This is just a desperate attempt to get their feelings to matter and to feel considered.

If you look at it, big shadow. This is why shadow work is so important. But my big point here is you cannot avoid offending people. People are going to be offended because that is what their brain is looking for. It serves them to constantly feel under attack to allow them to one, be authentic and to have their feelings matter and be made up for the thing that they've convinced people they've done to them. There's a lot of deep psychological things going on and how this serves people. All you need to know is being offended serves them. You cannot control if they feel offended or not. People will be offended by a fucking piece of paper nowadays.

Not even a hundred dollar bill. A piece of white paper. Well, it's white and that's insensitive to my race. The paper looks a little thin. That's fat phobic. These people will literally take things so out of context and make things be offensive that literally don't matter. But my point here is you cannot control what they do with you, what you say and what you do. They're going to perceive it how it serves them.

These people are not looking for reality. You cannot control if you offend people or not. When they're hunting to be offended, you have to see. It's because it serves them. It's not because you're actually offensive. Just know, these people's brains cannot take in or perceive anything other than being under attack. That's all you need to know. It's not about you.

You're not being offensive most of the time. They just have a need of being offended. But I do need to prepare you mentally to make you stronger to really not give a shit because these people are going to make assumptions and take things so out of context. These people's brains will literally make up anything to fit the narrative that they want it to fit. Like I said, these people are not trying to see reality. Most people in this life are not trying to see reality. They're trying to fit their own narrative. You cannot fight what serves other people. But my point with bringing up people

will make assumptions. People will literally see one thing and make an entire judgment of who you are as a person, your beliefs, your thoughts, your behaviors, what you value, what you don't value. And they will do anything that they can to paint you in a light of a piece of shit off of one thing you say, one thing you do, or one random piece of information. Most people's judgments of you are inaccurate. They do not have sufficient evidence or information to even make a claim or an assumption about you. Most people's assumptions and judgments are incorrect. They do not know enough about you or whatever's going on in the situation to

get an accurate read. So I don't want to say throw out opinions and throw out things that are relevant, but if it's not somebody you know, or you're close to, why are you taking the opinion for you? It's an inaccurate read. They don't have enough information to make a correct assessment. The fuck? Moral of the story here is you cannot do anything to change people's assumptions of you or people's feeling offended. They're going to have to do what serves them. You can't lend energy to it. And I'm not ever going to tell you to keep your focus on other people.

I'm always going to tell you to bring your focus back to yourself, but especially with things like this, because it will literally run you stupid if you focus on it or you lend any effort into trying to cater to these people. They cannot be catered to. They do not want to be catered to. They have an incentive to not be catered to like I talked not want to be catered to. They have an incentive to not be catered to, like I talked about before. But now you know all their shadows and you can leave them the fuck be in the darkness. Now let's talk about how to stop being impacted by the thoughts

of what other people think of you and also criticism. So first thing to get is you are going to face criticism. You are going to be offensive to some people. This is just the reality of life. Not everybody's for everybody. Everybody's an acquired taste. There's certain people who are more liked, but some people still don't like them. There are some people who are really not liked, but some people still do like them. Everybody's not for everybody. There are people who are going to love you

and people who are going to hate you, but there's going to be even more people who just don't give a fuck. That's the reality of life. So instead of running from criticism and running from being offensive and being unlovable, you have to look at this as these are consequences for just being a human and being around other humans. This is the type of thing that's going to happen. These are the consequences. You're now going to choose them because like I said before, even if you run around trying

to be everything everybody wants, it's never going to work anyways. These people benefit by being offended. And if you try and go be loved for who you're not, it's never going to work. People can sense that you're off putting when you're not yourself. Like I said, hiding away, you feel and all that. It's never going to work. You literally have no choice but to get completely dicked around by everything like I told you about, or you can look at it now before you get exhausted with all that and choose the

consequence of, okay, this is just part of reality. This is something I'm going to have to be aware of and choose. I am going to have to choose to offend certain people. I'm going to have to choose to not be liked by certain people. And that's okay. It's something every single person deals with. It is not abnormal.

It is very much expected. And this is normal for the human experience. We all deal with it. Not everybody is liked by everybody. Motherfucking Teresa was not liked by everybody. It doesn't matter how good and great and perfect and godlike you could be. People don't even like God. He pisses me off sometimes.

But it doesn't matter how great you are. People are still not going to fucking like you. And if you're going to let those people rob you and ruin you, what they're robbing you from is the people who would have liked you as you. Don't let them change you. Quick pause to talk about the sponsors of today's podcast. The first one is liquid IV. And this is genuinely one of my favorite products for rehydrating or just hydration in general. So liquid IV is coming in a little packet,

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And right now Prolon is offering aware and aggravated listeners 10% off their five-day nutrition program. You can get started at prolonlife.com slash aware. That's P-R-O-L-O-N life.com slash aware for this offer. Prolonlife.com slash aware. Now back to the podcast. The next thing to get is the pressure thing. People can put pressure on you all day long to change. It doesn't mean you have to just cause the pressure's there.

You don't have to. It's like when you're hungry, you can choose to not eat when you're thirsty. You can not drink. When you're horny, you can not go have sex. It's like when you're hungry, you can choose to not eat. When you're thirsty, you can not drink. When you're horny, you can not go have sex. It's just pressure. It's just a little extra something. If someone is going to unalive you, they can put a glizzy up to your head and you can still choose not to do what they want you to do.

The point here is, all that people can do is put pressure on you. Are you gonna bend to it? You know, you always have a choice but just because there is pressure it doesn't mean you have to change who you are at all. So that's one thing that's gonna help you get more comfortable with the pressure because if you have the relationship with facing all of this heat and being under the heat, if you have the relationship with facing all of this heat and being under the heat, if you don't know how to just sit under it and let that be okay and stay focused

on who you are and what you're doing, you're going to get into the pattern of avoiding the heat. You have to learn how to sit in it and understand just because it gets a little warm or gets a little hot. You don't have to change nothing. You can handle it. Now, the other point I want to make with not being impacted by everything from other people is it's going to become very, very hard to go for anything you want to go for in this life. So I want to give you the permission to

give yourself the permission to just go for what you want and goddamn do it. Because this is where feeling drained and getting to a point of depression, like a pit of depression you can't get out of, will come from. When you look at something you want to do and you hold yourself back from going straight for it because you're trying to tiptoe around, oh, what's going to get me approved of? What's not going to hurt people? When you're trying to take so much into consideration Every move you make is gonna become ten times more draining and difficult and you're just gonna be like for what? Because you can't please everybody you're gonna piss people off. You're gonna hurt people. It's just gonna happen

But if you want something and you make yourself jump through all of these unnecessary hoops to be considerate to other people and try and control their narrative and their assumption of you to be able to go for what you want, you're going to stop going for what you want. It's just going to become too exhausting. You just got to throw your hands up and be like, I'm going to take the consequence and just go for what I want. I'm going to be considerate and polite and respectable to my boundary of how much I'm willing to be considerate, but I'm no longer holding myself back from what I want to do, what I want to be, what I want to achieve, whatever it is.

That's the biggest advice I can give you is let like, was it called when you're like, what does Santa use with the reindeer and shit when he's like, got them on the rope, not a leash, like a harness, what's the word? Reins, now you got the reins on it. What the fuck am I doing with that analogy? My point there with that one is take the rope off yourself

before you hang yourself with it, okay? Cause you will have to, that's the only thing gonna satisfy these people. you're gonna have to kick the chair out from under you and then they'll be happy but what's funny is they still not gonna be happy because the way you kick the chair offended me I really want you to hear me when I say this stop molding yourself and changing yourself and conforming yourself to be digestible for people. Because there are people out there already that exist that don't need you

to change because they won't choke on you. The people who need you to conform and change can choke. Go find the people and go fit in the spaces that you're already fit for. You're not fit to be over here and be accepted by all these people. I'm not, but I'm not trying to shove myself in these spots. It's like the game when you were a kid with the cube and there was a triangle shaped piece and you have to put it into the triangle to get it into the box. There's a square, there's a circle. Stop trying to put the fucking square in the circle. Go to a different box. You don't belong there, babe. The analogies in this episode, what the hell? Okay, so I said I was gonna finish this off with telling

you finally how to stop caring once and for all. You're gonna have to choose to stop caring and this is how to do it. You're going to get very clear on your intention and anchor into it. Your intention for being yourself, the way you dress, the way you walk, the way you talk, just everything about yourself, you're gonna have to get intentional with it and understand your actual motive for doing it.

Because when you face the criticism and the worry, even in your own head, you face the worry in your head or you face criticism from people for being a certain way, they're going to flip it. They're going to misread it. They're not going to know why you're doing what you're doing. They're going to make assumptions about it. You need to be anchored into why you're really doing it. So you have reassurance and you can choose not to give a shit what they're saying. And I'm going to give you the perfect example of something this applies to. There's this girl named Nara Smith. I don't even know if I'm saying her name, right? I love the bitch. She's on Tik TOK and she's this like little housewife.

She's very like bougie, obviously well off, got her little kids, got her little husband, and she makes food from scratch as fuck. Like her kids wake up, like I want cereal and she'll literally make fucking dough and like cut it up and like mix it up, cut it up, put it in the oven and like make homemade cereal. And she makes a lot of meals like that. She makes very detailed, long, like very time extensive recipes and things. And she speaks very calm and she acts like nothing is a big deal. Like, Oh,

my toddlers wanted cereal this morning. So I made some from scratch. So I got started with this and she just goes about doing it, but she does not act like it's a big deal. Like for her to wait 30 minutes for her fucking cereal to finish baking in the oven, even after she spent an hour making the dough and everything, do it. This little breakfast took like three hours, but she doesn't bring attention to it. It's just normal for her and it's not a big deal.

People have been losing their mind over this woman. For me her videos very much peaceful to watch. I don't give a shit what's going on. I just like to watch her make stuff. Her voice is very calming, very soothing. She always looks very pretty. She always looks very clean and put together. I think some of it's funny. I'm like, damn girl, you got extra time in the day. You must got a different 24 hours than me. Cause I could not be doing all that, but she lives a different lifestyle. She's a mother. She's got children. She lives a different life.

And I'm going to do a whole podcast episode about people wanting you to live by their expectations and they criticize you for not doing that. But my whole point was bringing up Nara is this woman does not do anything problematic. She doesn't do anything bad. She makes her calming little videos. Mine's are fucking business. People are attacking her and assuming and making all these stories up about why she posts what she posts and why she lives the way that she lives and why she does these type videos.

She's promoting an unrealistic lifestyle. She's doing it to flaunt her wealth, to show us the class she's in, where she doesn't have to deal with like day to day things like everybody else does. She just gets to spend time making a three hour fucking cereal for breakfast. People are so mad and they're painting this image like she's intentionally trying to hurt people with these videos. Her videos are just peaceful to watch to me. I'm not reading that much into shit. I don't have the time one to make the shit she makes or, to look that deep into it. Who cares? But the whole point is this woman literally makes videos about what she cooks for her

family and people demonize her and make her out like she's just this vindictive piece of shit and they hate her. Like I said, social media and being chronically online is a new mental illness that's yet to be studied. That's weirdo behavior. Very much weirdo. I mean, we understand it. I broke down the whole shadow aspect of all of it, but still, how the fuck are you so asleep like that? That you don't know what the hell you're doing? Oh my God. That has me just baffled. But I'm going to use Nara as an example of the criticism. These people are freaking out painting her out. Like she's such a bad guy. And this is why I say get anchored in your intention.

She knows what her true intention is. All these narratives people are creating about her. The bitch probably just enjoys making the videos. She loves cooking. She's filming it. She's blowing up. She's getting some followers. She's making some money, doing some brand deals. She's doing good. She's providing for her family. She enjoys making the videos. I don't really believe there's ill intent the way these people have made it seem. And she knows that. And the fact that she's not changing what she's doing, she's just continuing to do it shows she does not have ill intent.

And this whole dynamic is the perfect example of choosing not to care what people think because she enjoys making these videos. It makes her happy. She likes to share her whole journey of being a mom and being a little housewife and doing her thing and sharing her hobby of cooking for her to be attacked for the way that she dresses and looks. Why would she choose to care what people think and change the way that she looks and dresses and lives her life? If she likes it,

why is she going to change what she's doing and the content she's posting if she enjoys it? She's allowed to do what she enjoys. She doesn't need anyone's permission. It's not a good idea for her to choose to care. This is benefiting her. She's having a blast. She's loving her little life and the people who enjoy her videos enjoy them. I like them. I watch every single fuck of one. But for her to choose to care, what these people are saying about her would be to rob her own happiness, rob her own look, her own life, rob her relationship, rob everything from herself just to try and

cater to these people who will never be pleased. That's not a good idea to choose to care what these people have to say and what they think of her. If she knows why she's doing it and it makes her happy, goddamn do it. And that's why grounding in your intention is so important. You know why you're doing what you're doing. You know why you dress the way that you do, why you act the way that you do, why do you talk the way that you do? That's for you. That is you. And to change that is to rob everybody who likes you. Like for her to change her content because of what people are saying would rob the people who like it. The millions of people who love what she's doing and find peace in it or find

joy in it or just like to watch it as nice entertainment, whatever. It's inspiring to some people. That's going to rob everybody else. That's going to rob them to try and cater to these people who are never going to like her. That's dumb. And choosing to take her focus off of what she's trying to do, what makes her happy and put it on everything else and everyone's judgment is a waste. Her intention is to do what makes her happy and to make this content, to take your focus off of that and to put it on these people is going to do

nothing but harm you. You have to choose not to care. You have to choose what you do with your focus and attention and put it into your intention and continue to keep it there. And a personal example I have with all of this is my podcast was number one in education for six months in 2023. And there's been so many people who are so happy to see my podcast is not charting number one in education anymore. My podcast fell in the charts.

And what really happened is I signed a contract with a certain host for my podcast and had to switch platforms where I was uploading it. So all of the stats that I had for my podcast that had me at number one wiped out. And I do not have those stats anymore that had me held in that position. I had to go start from scratch basically and rebuild all my stats. I'm back up charting in the top 10 in education. So realistically I've lapped a lot of these people twice, three times already because I lost everything, came back and I'm back up charting again. I would still be number one if I didn't switch platforms, but I chose to do that for a business decision. But my point with this is where you choose to put your attention and your focus can hurt

you if you don't stay in tune and leave your focus on what you're trying to do. Is making videos, talking shit back to these people going to be a good use of my time. No, I can choose to put my focus on entertaining the bullshit, entertaining what other people have to say and put it there. Or I can choose to put my focus on what I'm trying to do, which is share the information that I want to share and keep my focus here with my intention of what I'm trying to do. I'm going to choose to put my attention to intention of what I'm trying to do.

I'm going to choose to put my attention to energy and what I'm trying to do and keep it grounded in my intent, not fighting these people and wasting all this energy that's taking away and detracting from what I'm trying to achieve. These are two perfect examples of choosing not to give a fuck. It's a choice and it's one you have to make. Is it the most ego boosting? Not always. It's way more fun to cuss people the fuck out. It's way more fun to tell people how much of a dipshit they are when they make an assumption off of information they do not have like with me and my

podcast. But that is not gonna do anything and I'm to break you into this mindset and this understanding you need to have around acknowledgement and lending your focus and attention to things. Because if I acknowledge this and what people are saying and the criticism about my podcast falling in the charts, people are never going to remember me for charting, for being the first gay person to chart. People are never going to remember and associate me with charting as long as I did as a solo podcast, as a gay person, as a dude, as someone who started it from a goddamn closet on my phone. I'm not going to be remembered for all of this. If I lend

my attention to this, one, it's going to take away from all the focus that I have on sharing the information I want to share, but two, it's going to make this association in people's heads of, oh, you're the guy who fell out of the number one spot. You're the guy. People are criticizing. You're the one that's no longer on the chart as number one. No one's going to acknowledge I'm still top 10. But the point with this is people are not going to associate me with number

one for me to address all this bullshit and care what people have to say and care what people think is going to create an association. If I lend attention to it of what I don't want, which is not being number one, people will remember me as that. I want to be remembered as number one, so I'm only going to acknowledge when I'm there. Does that make sense? So this decision to truly not give a fuck is way more important than you think. And the association game, like I just explained, you have to be very strategic and you have to truly choose not to care what

people think about you or choose to not care about what the criticism is. You just have to stay doing what you're doing. I have to stay sharing the information that I share and getting to where I want to go and getting back to number one. I'm going to get there. It's a matter of time. My podcast is still doing amazing. And that's what I'm going to keep my focus on, which is delivering here, not delivering to the bullshit. Keep the focus on your intention, what you're trying to do, what's going to make you happy and what's going to make you want to stay living

this life. You need to do what you were meant to do here, which is expand and be the ultimate version of you. Not censor yourself, not run around and avoid all this and that. Stop living a life of avoidance. Remember who the fuck you are. Remember what you're trying to do. Remember your intention and goddamn do it. You're not weak so stop acting like it. You now have a whole new game plan and a whole new guide about dealing with what people think about you, how to stop caring. You can come back to this video literally anytime you want it.

And like I said in the beginning, if you want to learn about confidence, hit the link in the description, buy a goddamn ticket and I will see you on tour. Trust. But also in the description, I'll put all my social media if you want to follow me, keep up with me, see me doing my damn thing and get some inspiration from it when you need it. But if you enjoyed this episode, leave this video a thumbs up if you're watching it on YouTube. And if you're listening to the audio version on Apple Podcasts and Spotify,

leave me a five stars rating. Give me back to the number one spot. I'm done fucking around and I really can't wait to piss everybody off who's preying on my downfall. Maybe if only you really knew. This is our inside secret now, but that is all I've got for this week's episode. Everybody be safe, take care of yourself, choose right now to stop giving a fuck because now you know how to do it and I will talk to you guys next Sunday.