Aware & Aggravated - 18. The Truth About Self Love

Episode Date: March 13, 2022

I debunked the concept of self love and shared my 12 steps on how to actually start loving yourself. You won't be the same after this one. Watch the Podcast on YouTube!https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtgs8c2Z_97gA_1TkJos18w/videosBook a 1-on-1 call with me 👇🏻https://leoskepicoaching.com/client-applicationSupport the podcast with a donation : https://www.zeffy.com/en-US/donation-form/46556b98-73da-47be-a3bd-a5646af9f8c5Instagram: @theleoskepiPodcast Instagram: @awareandaggravated TikTok accounts: @LeoSkepi@NotLeoForLegalReasons My app Positive Focus:Apple: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/positive-focus/id1559260311Google: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.positivefocusapp 

Hi friends, today we're talking about self love and why you ain't got none. Not really, I'm a debunked this shit for you, okay? Because everybody online be preaching all kind of, you just need to love yourself, you need to love yourself! But I don't give you steps of how to fucking do it, okay? And they don't even know what they're talking about half the time. People, that's just a good thing to say. It's like a politically correct answer. Like when someone comes to you with some fucka problem,

you just say, you need to learn how to love yourself. Like bitch, fuck off. So I'm gonna debunk all that, and then I'm gonna give you like a step-by-step guide, kind of, of like, what to do, how to do it. You're gonna see, you're gonna like it a whole bunch. I promise. But I do need to acknowledge, I'm sick.

I'm sick as a fucking dog right now. Okay, I'm like I'm really upset No bitch, I'm just sick. I have a cold like go to this festival I just went to I went to Okachoby last weekend and grab still sick and I'm fucking annoyed by it Okay, like all my friends when we go to festivals they be like depressed and upset and like they be look chemically in balance because we be rolling in shit shit But that's all they got to worry about I got to have a fucking cold on the end of it like bitch I'm depressed. I'm upset. I'm sad and I'm fucking full of snott Are you kidding me like everybody else just seems to like recover so fast But my weak ass immune system be tearing my ass up like how embarrassing is that like how pussy is that of me to always be getting sick?

That's embarrassing Also, I have officially turned 24 my birthday was March 7th and I hid it. I kept it a secret I didn't tell anybody it was my birthday because I didn't want no like the atrix and shit online I like people posting like yeah, like it was sweet a couple people did But I just didn't want to make it a big fucking deal. deal You know like I'm upset. I don't want to be 24. I still feel like I'm 15. What the hell is this? You know like you I don't want to fucking grow up But yeah, I'm 24 now so I changed all my bios which hurts my heart every year Like all my social media bios. I got to change it now. I'm 24 not 23

Y'all I'm stressed like growing up is like some bullshit. This is a gimmick. Okay, I like it doesn't feel Right, it doesn't feel like this is supposed to be happening, you know, like I don't feel like an adult But like I'm officially like adult now like these are adult years I'm in and I still feel like a fucking child, you know, like I know a bunch of things. I'm real smart But I still feel like a kid. Anyways, let's go into this self-love topic. Okay, so first thing I'm going to say about love and like loving something to love something is a verb. It's an action to love. Okay, a lot of things online and a lot of people make it seem like self-love is just this thing that you have or don't have. It's just this magical feeling that pops out of your fucking ass of like, oh my god, I love my

and you just feel this certain way towards yourself and you're like, oh, that's self love. No, scratch that. That ain't fucking true. That ain't real. Don't base your opinion of yourself and if you love yourself or not off of that, it's not fair, okay? Because you're going to be striving for that and you're never going to get it. Sorry, but that's not what it is. So it's like people are teaching you this like false idea of what the fuck it should be. It's not. So like I said, to love something is a verb. So what you need to look at is your actions. Is the way you treat yourself loving or is it not loving is the way you live your life loving or not loving Toward yourself. That's the way I want to like help you reframe your mindset on it Because I used to be the person that was lost and was like confused and I didn't understand what the fuck everybody meant by this self-love

Shit online so like I'm just sharing what I've learned and how I've had to like reconstruct it in my mind to actually feel better. And to actually feel like I love myself, you know, and like make the changes that are necessary. But the first thing I wanna make clear is it's not this magical feeling. It's not just this thing you have or don't have, okay? To love something is an action.

So based it off of that, are your actions self loving? Am I acting in a self-loving way? So the other thing that you kind of get off the hook with with looking at it like this is the definite, do I love myself or do I not? When you look at your actions as self-loving or not self-loving, there's no way to say, I love myself or I don't love myself because it's not an all the time thing. It bases off your actions and how you act and how you treat yourself. So it's like if you do 10 actions that are self loving and then you do one that's not loving, it's not like, oh, I love myself.

And then, oh, now I don't love myself. It's you took actions that were self loving. And then this one might not have been self loving and that's another thing You can't fucking be loving towards yourself all the time like it's unrealistic to expect that of yourself All the fucking time and especially if you're someone that feels like you don't love yourself or you don't know how to love yourself You can't just expect yourself to fully flip and like do everything right going forward. It's it's unreasonable to expect that from anybody, even the people that have practiced us for a long time. There's there you can't get it wrong, okay? You can kind of, but like

if you can't get it right, you can't get it wrong. And if there's no absolutes, then you're fine. So it just depends on your actions and how you treat yourself. So I keep running on about that, but I have 12 areas or kind of like circumstances where things could be like self-loving or not. And these are like the areas that I've come up with for my life that I kind of gauge if I'm loving myself or not. So these are gonna also be like the step-by-steps

of how to love yourself if you don't. Like this is the mindset shifts you need to make and these are the shifts you need to make in your actions. So I laid this shit out for you, babe. All right, let me get to my note. It's on my phone. So if you hear me like tapping around on my phone, that's what it is.

Usually I write this in a notebook, but I was like real depressed in my bed last night and I did not feel like getting up. And I was trying to think of like what I was gonna do for this fucking podcast And I just did it in my phone. So that's what that is. And one more thing I need to bring up before we run into my little 12 steps. Like girl, I did not realize it's a 12 step program. No! No, we are not alcoholics anonymous. We are not narcotics anonymous. This is self-hate anonymous. So, is that what the program is, or is it 12 steps?

Do I really have 12? Oh my God, girl, I really do have 12 steps. I did not mean it to go like this. I just realized this. Oh well, the thing I wanted to say was if you feel like you don't love yourself or if you do things that are like damaging to yourself and you're just like annoyed with yourself or you beat yourself up a lot or whatever it is,

if you feel like you don't love yourself, at some point in your life, loving yourself led to negative consequences. Okay? You had to learn to stop loving yourself in order to stay close to the people around you. Now this could have started when you were very young or it could have been in your teenage years whenever it was, but at some point in your life, loving yourself led to negative consequences, so you stopped. Considering yourself led to disconnection or you were scared it was going to lead to disconnection and like losing people. So you learn to discard yourself. That's another way you can kind of break it down is looking at it like considering yourself

and prioritizing yourself. Doing that in the past led to you being hurt. So you stopped. So have a little compassion for yourself. Be a little bit understanding. And look at why you stopped. So once I once you get through listening to this fucking episode of all the things,

my 12 steps, look at why you stopped doing these things. I like what point in your life that you stopped doing them and why did you stop? Why did it not feel safe to care about the way that you felt and prioritize yourself and consider yourself and make sure you were taking care of. Okay, you're gonna see that it led to negative consequences but I'm just kinda like throwing the answer at you but. Okay, you're going to see that it leads to negative consequences, but I'm just kind of like throwing the answer

at you. But I really want you guys to like think about it for yourself. And that negative voice in the back of your head. So like the critical voice in your head that's like won't shut the fuck up and is always mean to you. If you look at why that voice is there, that voice has your back. That voice is looking out for you. The only reason that critical voice in your head is so mean to you and is so on your fucking ass is because it's trying to make you better. But why is it trying to make you better so that you can be loved? That's the only goal behind that voice in your head. That sounds like it fucking hates you

and is always on your ass and is always like doubting you and second guessing you and is like pushing you and is like way too hard on you. That's the goal behind that voice is to make sure you stay connected to others and make sure that you can get love. So take a second to shift your perspective of how you've been looking at that negative voice

in your head because it's there to help you and a twisted fucked up way is just trying to make sure you're okay. Okay, now let's move on to my 12 steps, not really steps like my 12 areas of places to check yourself and how you can start to love yourself. So the first one is your own happiness. What is your relationship to your happiness and the things that make you happy and bring you joy? Do you make time for those things? Do you prioritize those things? Do you make those things important to you? Or do you forget about them and discard them for other things or other people. Like if you know that there's something that you want to do that will make you happy. If something else comes up with somebody else, are you going to throw away what you want to do to make sure that they're happy?

You know what I mean? Are you going to sacrifice yourself? Are you going to sacrifice what makes you happy so that people don't get mad at you? My point with this one is your happiness. Do you prioritize it? Does your happiness matter to you? Does what makes you happy matter to you? I hope that was correct English because I just be talking shit. Because someone that loves theirself is going to prioritize what makes them happy. They're going to prioritize making sure that they get to do what they want to do. If something brings them joy, they're going to make sure they get to do that. You know, they're going to make time for that. They're going to make that a priority.

They're going to make their happiness a priority. And I'm not saying like that whole term of happiness that everybody beats into you on social media and online. And she's like not that stereotypical fucking happiness definition. I'm talking about anything small that you enjoy doing. Do you make time for it? Or do you throw it away for others? And if you do throw it away and you do discard doing what makes you happy, why do you do that? Look at why. What are you scared is going to happen? Who are you scared you're going to lose because I guarantee you it leads to some sort of disconnection. That's what you're scared of

But that's for you to figure out. Okay, so number two my second area my second step of our 12 step program Is the way that you feel? Does the way that you feel matter to you? Does the fact that you're upset or sad or uncomfortable bother you? When you feel uncomfortable, do you take action to try and feel better and to try and change something or do you just make yourself shut up and deal with it? Do you discard the fact that you feel uncomfortable or do you make it important to you because you don't want yourself to have to deal with that. Does that make sense? Someone that loves theirself is not going to let theirself remain uncomfortable. Or if they're upset, they're

not going to just brush that off or try and tell theirself it's not important. They're going to take that into consideration. They're going to take the way that they feel into consideration. They're not going to make theirself do things that make them feel negatively. You know, there's a difference between being self-disciplined and doing things that sometimes you don't want to do versus doing things that hurt you or make you feel disgusting and uncomfortable. Like hanging out with certain people. If you don't like hanging out with certain people because they don't make you feel good

or they talk bad about you and it makes you feel bad about yourself, someone who loves theirself is not going to let theirself hang out with those people. Someone who loves theirself is gonna prioritize the way that they feel and say, fuck no, I'm not letting you go through that. They're gonna like caretake theirself. If you kinda gotta look at it with like as two people and I like to bring up my inner child into this, it's like, I wouldn't sell five-year-old me

to go deal with certain things if it made him upset. Like, I would wanna look out for him and take care of him. I wouldn't tell him to go deal with that shit. it made him upset. Like I would wanna look out for him and take care of him. I wouldn't tell him to go deal with that shit. Like I would grab his little hand and be like, no, we're not hanging out with them, fuck them. Like you know what I mean? You have to be the same way with adult you.

You have to be the same way with yourself. You have to care about the way that you feel and make that a priority. That's loving yourself. Okay, so my third point is look at the attitude you have towards yourself. So are you my third point is look at the attitude you have toward yourself. So are you judgmental of yourself? Are you fucking mean to yourself? And I'm not talking about the critical voice in your head. Like there's like a critical voice that you can't really

control. And then there's one that you can control, you know. So what's your attitude toward yourself? Do you like beat yourself up for shit? Or do you try to understand why you just did what you did? So if you do something that seems self-destructive or seems like bad, are you just gonna start beating yourself up for it? Like you're a fucking idiot, you're a fucking dumbass. Like are you stupid? Like how dumb can you be to do that?

Are you gonna act like that towards yourself or are you gonna look at yourself and be like, okay, why did you just do that? Are you going to act like that towards yourself or are you going to look at yourself and be like, okay, why did you just do that? Are you going to try to understand what you were feeling and what caused you to take that action or you're just going to criticize yourself for it? Because someone who loves theirself is going to try to understand why they just do what they did. And you are the only one that can fully understand you. You can experience firsthand the feelings you're feeling. No one else can. So no one else can understand you as well as you can.

But do you even take the time to understand why you feel the way that you do? Why you take the actions that you do or do you just judge them as good or bad, right and wrong? Do you like self-south yourself or do you attack yourself? Because that criticism shit will only get you so far. Like if you're gonna be critical of yourself, you also need to give credit where it's due.

And someone who loves theirself is gonna give credit to theirself. So even if they don't achieve what they wanted, they're gonna give credit to how hard they fucking tried, because they know how hard they tried. They'll look at ways to do it better in the future. They'll look at ways to improve, but they are also gonna give credit where it's due

and not just beat theirself up. You need to have both. If you're gonna be critical, you need to be appreciative of yourself and congratulate yourself and like, what is it called? Like you need to be rooting for yourself and you need to hold yourself accountable to like the good things you do

if you're also gonna hold accountable to the bad things. You need to have both. You can't just beat yourself up. All right, my fourth point. Look at how you handle yourself when you're upset. Do you get annoyed when you're upset? Are you mean to yourself when you're upset? Are you gentle with yourself when you're upset? Like how do you respond when you're upset? Are you mean to yourself when you're upset? Are you gentle with yourself when you're upset?

Like how do you respond when you're upset? Do you look at it like it's annoying? Do you look at it like it's a bother? Like the fact that you're upset right now, it's like, oh, god damn it. Like can you just fucking not? Like is that how you respond to yourself? Because someone that loves theirself doesn't do that.

Like I said, with prioritizing the way that you feel, people that love themselves are understanding when they're upset. They understand why they're upset. They understand that it's okay to feel upset. They understand, given what we just went through, if you're upset and you're crying right now, that's understandable. Someone that loves theirself is going to validate the way that they feel, not fight it or criticize

it. They're going to try to understand what led us to feeling this way. You know, and I keep saying us because I look at myself like two people sometimes I have to so I can like properly caretake myself. But are you reassuring to yourself? Are you sweet to yourself when you're upset, when you're sad, when you're even fucking angry? when you're sad, when you're even fucking angry, like are you able to self-sooth? Are you able to be there for you emotionally? Like, do you hold your own hand? Do you give yourself encouragement?

And another reason that I look at myself like two different people is because there's like an observer self and then there's part of you that is upset. So the part of you that is upset, when it's upset, it's crying, it's whatever, it wants your presence, it needs your presence, it needs you to sit there with it.

Do you abandon yourself when you're upset or do you give yourself your attention? That's what's really going on. That's what really needs to happen is you need to be present with the part of you that is upset. You don't need to discard it, you don't need to beat it up. You don't need to look at it like it's fucking annoying. Even though it might be in a bad time, that part of you still needs your attention.

It still needs you to be there with it. And if you truly love yourself, it doesn't matter when it's upset. You're still going to care that it's upset and be there for it. That part of you, which is you. Think about if you were there for like the person that you love the most, if you were in like a really important moment and that person just got really upset, you would be there for them. Like it doesn't matter what you have going on. When you genuinely love someone and care for someone, you prioritize how they feel. You care about how they feel.

And if they're upset, you're not okay. So you, you, that you being present with them, and you being there for them when they're upset is what makes you feel better. Because someone that you genuinely love cannot be upset and you just sit there and be okay. That's the attachment. If someone that you truly love is like heartbroken upset, and you can just look the other way, or you can be annoyed by it You don't actually love them. You don't actually care about them. You're not taking them as part of yourself And that's what love is because if I truly love you You can't be upset and me just be okay with it. I can't just go on my merry way and know that you're like breaking down

And you're really upset, you know? That's not love. That's disconnect. Because like I said, I wouldn't be able to do that if I saw you as part of me. That's why I'm very picky with when people say that they love me. Like I let people say it, but if I tell someone I love them, that's some deep fucking shit. And that's very important to me. I don't like people's definition of love because people mislabel love a lot.

They think that it's like this just intense feeling that they have towards someone like, oh my god, I love you. It's like, no, that's not it. If I genuinely tell someone I love you, I take you as part of me. Your best interests, everything about you is now part of me and it's important to me. Me making sure you get what you want, me making sure you're okay, the way that you feel, what makes you happy, all of that is now right there next to everything about me. I'm gonna prioritize us both. That's what I mean when I say I love you. Because the people

that want to run around and just label that feeling that they have is like they have like this really strong appreciation towards you They want to label that as oh my god, I love you. They're the same people that can cause you in a serious amount of pain and sit there and watch you cry and just look at you and just wonder why you're crying. Because they're disconnected. That's not love. I don't let people say they love me if they do fucked up shit. Like you don't get to say that you fucking love me if you're able to do this. You know, you don't get to go hurt me like this and then say you love me. Eat a fucking dick. But anyway, I think you get my point with number four. Number five, when it comes to your best interests and your goals, do you make decisions in line with these? So do you prioritize your goals?

Do you prioritize what's in your best interest? Do you take into consideration what's best for you? Do you act in that way? So like with your goals, if you have a goal, say let's you, you want to go to the gym and you want to eat healthy and you want to eat clean? When someone invites you to go out on Friday night, do you throw away your goals? Do you throw away eating clean and going to the gym on Friday night for going out and drinking alcohol? Or do you make the decision to do what you said you're going to do and go and do what's in line with your goal? You know, which one seems more self loving? And I'm not saying going out and

drinking is bad. I'm saying you need to prioritize your goals and what's in your best interests first. So if you're gonna go out and go drink, go to the fucking gym before, eat clean all day, maybe do a little extra cardio so that you can have extra calories to spare so when you go drink, you're not like throwing off your goals. Like you can do both. You can have a balance, but don't just throw away your goals and throw away what you want because you want to go do something else.

That's not self loving. There's a way to do both, like I just said. But someone who loves their self is gonna make sure they get what they want. And if they're working toward a goal, the loving thing to do is stay accountable with that goal. You set that goal for a reason, it's because it gets you to something that you want.

Are you gonna prioritize getting what you want? Or are you gonna prioritize, oh, I'm gonna go right out and have fun with my friends real quick. No, that's not self loving. I told you guys, this self love shit is a lot different than you think. It's not as easy as people make it seem

and it's a lot more complex. Like just little shit not as easy as people make it seem and it's a lot more complex Like just little shit like this like people don't think of it this way, but it is all these things Okay, so number six this one's about the way you let people treat you and speak to you Someone who loves theirself is not gonna allow theirself to be disrespected Repeatedly by the same person without saying something. They're not just going to sit back and let theirself be bullied or disrespected or not considered. Someone who loves theirself is going to stand the fuck up, take theirself into consideration and not deal with that. They're going to choose better for theirself. They're not going to be around people that make them feel like shit, or that treat them like shit, or that put them second and don't consider them, and that

discard them and the way that they feel. Someone who loves theirself is going to want better for theirself. They're not just going to make theirself endure it and deal with it and put up with it. You can always find a way to justify it and to make it seem okay to yourself to stay in a place where you get this respect. Say it's a job. Oh well, my boss disrespects me and treats me like fucking shit and I don't make piss for money, but I have to stay in this job because I have bills to pay. Babe, you can easily go get another fucking job. You can get out of that shit. Like I said, you can justify it. It's like with your partner. Like you can tell yourself all the reasons why you shouldn't leave them and why them disrespecting you

is, okay, you just have to put up with it. But that's not self loving. The self loving action is to get the fuck out of there. The self loving action is to prioritize the way that you feel and make it important and get out of a damaging environment. You wouldn't tell a five year old to stay in that. You wouldn't tell a five year old that they need to just put up with being treated like fucking shit. So don't tell yourself that. All right, number seven, this one comes to like health and eating habits and shit. Like how do you treat your body? Okay. Do you act like you care about it? The way that you eat, the way that you exercise, the way that you treat your body, do you act like and treat your body like you care about it.

And I'm not saying you have to eat fucking perfect all the time. Everybody binges, everybody has a bad fucking day, everybody eats a little ice cream or a cheesecake or whatever the fuck they want. It's not wrong to have these things. You don't have to eat like a perfect diet all the time. You don't have to work out every single fucking day. But for the most of it, do you take into consideration the health of your body? Do you treat your body like you love it? Like you care about it? Do you care about the well-being of your body? And number eight kind of tags off that.

So that one is more about sex and people's habits for sex. Someone that loves theirself is going to be aware of and take into consideration that by having sex with another human being, there is a potential to catch an STD. STDs are a real fucking thing. They're rampant and they're very prevalent and they're a lot more common than you realize. But looking out for your health and watching out for yourself and making sure that someone you're about to hook up with is clean is important. And a lot of people get mad and like get defensive if you ask their status and if you ask what STDs they have.

Motherfucker, get mad if you want to. But you're entitled to protect yourself. Like I will never hook up with someone that has a negative reaction to me asking their result. And I will never hook up with someone that doesn't also ask my results before we hook up. Like I need someone that's just as paranoid as I fucking am. Cause I don't have nothing and I don't plan on catching nothing.

Well nobody does, you know, but being cautious is the thing. Like I'm paranoid, I take it to a new fucking extreme. But being cautious, being preventative and protecting yourself and your sexual integrity and your sexual health, like that's a big fucking thing. That's something that is not very untrend anymore. Like people try not to hurt people's feelings and I don't know why all of a sudden it's offensive

to ask someone if they have an STD. That's their fucking issue to deal with if they're offended by it. You ask, ask anyone before you hook up with them and make sure that they're disclosing if they do have anything so that you can protect yourself Like you deserve that and anyone that loves their self is gonna do that They're gonna take that into consideration. They're gonna put their self and their health above Potentially hurting someone's fucking feelings by asking them. Hey, are you about to transmit something to me?

This is a very touchy topic, but it is a huge one that I felt like I needed to include for the self-love thing because hookup culture and sex is like no big deal. And people are so run by it. It's like pathetic. And I don't get it. I don't relate to that. There's instances where I can relate to it We've all had a ho-face, you know, we've all fucking sludded it up, but I just don't get the whole like disregard for your own health That's something I really don't understand. I've always been very paranoid. I've always been very cautious I have had people lie to me about shit before and they got their mother fucking asses beat But luckily I didn't catch anything.

They caught a beating. I caught nothing. I'm glad about that. Like I'm happy and I'm fucking relieved that I haven't contracted anything. But that's something people tend to forget. Like they forget that STDs are a thing and everyone's like, oh, it's not going to happen to me, but it's like bitch, it can. And someone that loves theirself is not even gonna leave that shit up the chance. They're gonna take steps to make sure that they're okay. There's no way to fully ever know. Like if you take them out the fuck out of the clinic before you have sex with them and you get them tested, sure.

Get the blood test. If you're ever gonna do that, get a blood test. But there's no way you can like actually fully be sure. You know, and I get that. And I'm not saying you have to take everyone to the fucking clinic, but do take steps to reassure yourself and kind of put your mind at ease that you're like putting effort into making sure that you're safe. Because that's the loving action to make sure you're okay to try and protect yourself as much as you can, even though you can never fully like 100%

No, that nothing's gonna happen like it's always a risk. It's always taking a chance when you have sex or hook up with anyone So just taking a couple preventative actions and taking a couple like safety measures and precautions that's self loving And before anyone gets offended about what I just said Re-fucking-listen to what I just said and re-fucking listen to what I just said, and check yourself, because I didn't say shit that was offensive, I didn't accuse anybody. Don't fucking try it, come at me,

saying people that have contracted things don't love theirself. No, bitch, that's not what the fuck I'm saying. Don't even try it, not with me. So, even if it doesn't seem like it's cool, or even if you're scared to hurt their feelings, I'm reassuring you right now, you are fully fucking justified and entitled to know the status of your partner before

you fuck them. Ask for their paperwork. Ask when the last time is they were tested and asked to see the fucking results. Like ask to see it. Don't be shy. Like fucking do that for yourself. You owe that to yourself. Okay.

Number nine. Spending and yourself. Okay, number nine, spending and money, okay? Your budget, do you have a budget? Are you reckless with your spending habits? Do you take into consideration the potential consequences of spending too much money? Like are you, are you just like carefree just spending one over the fuck and not caring what happens? Are you worried about putting yourself in debt?

Do you take it into consideration? Do you have something set up where you know you're not going to be enough financial bind, which is a budget. You know, like do you have like safety money put away? Do you buy stupid ass fucking shit? You don't need. Are you looking up for yourself financially? Basically because that's a self loving thing to do because fucking yourself

up financially can fuck you up in many aspects of life. So that's something to definitely take into consideration that most people don't think about. But yeah, having a budget and watching your spending is a self loving thing to do because it's preventing a future consequence of something negative happening. You know, like you're looking out for yourself. All right, number 10.

Do you make sure you're taking care of this is just the basic one of like, do you make sure you're taken into consideration? Do you make sure your prioritize? Do you make sure that you're comfortable? Do you make that important to you? And I'm talking about all kind of shit. So do you make sure that you've eaten? Do you make sure that you have food? Do you make sure that you've eaten? Do you make sure that you have food? Do you make sure that you're clean? Do you make sure that you're taking care of in like any aspect you can think of?

If you pay for something, do you make sure that you get what you pay for? Or are you just gonna be like, ah, fuck it if it's wrong and just deal with it? No, you need to make sure you're getting what you paid for. You need to make sure you're taking into consideration and that you're taking care of. That's the really fucking big one. Okay, number 11.

Y'all might get mad at this one too. But do you do what you tell yourself you're going to do? Are you able to rely on yourself? Can you trust the words that come out of your fucking mouth? When you tell yourself, okay, I'm gonna do XYZ. Do you do it? Do you actually follow through with what you say you're going to do? Do you keep your word to yourself? Keeping your word is something that is so much more important than people even fucking realize, and it's

so much bigger of a component to self trust than people even know. So do you do what needs to be done? Do you push yourself? Do you hold yourself accountable? Do you do what you say you're gonna fucking do? That's it. Because someone who loves their self would. And the self-loving thing to do is be a person you can rely on for yourself. And part of that is doing what you tell yourself you're gonna do, which is fucking hard sometimes. It's really hard. Especially when you don't feel like it. It's if you say you're gonna do, which is fucking hard sometimes. It's really hard, especially when you don't feel like it. It's, if you say you're gonna set a goal of like, okay, I'm gonna go to the gym for like five days this week.

Are you actually gonna go? Do you push yourself to go? Do you push yourself to do what you said you're gonna do? Do you push yourself to meet your goals? Even when you don't feel like it, you're not always gonna fucking feel like it, but are you able to rely on yourself even when you don't feel like it, you're not always gonna fucking feel like it. But are you able to rely on yourself, even when you don't feel like it?

Are you still gonna push yourself? Are you still gonna be there for yourself and do it anyways? All right, number 12, and this one is the biggest one of them all. Do you hide the truth about yourself? Because that is the opposite of loving yourself. There's so many things I can talk about when it comes to that, but basically being authentic, do you hide anything

about yourself? You're sending yourself the message that something about you is bad and wrong and is embarrassing and that it should be hidden. That's not a loving way to focus towards yourself toward any part of yourself. And I had to deal with this when I finally came out and stopped hiding that I was gay. That happened because of this whole self loving journey. Shit. It's so frustrating. But that's something that happened as the result of this because you can't say you love yourself and be like, Oh, I love myself.

And be hiding yourself at the same time. It's a contradiction. You can't tell yourself something is bad and wrong about you. And feel good about yourself at the same time. Any part of you that you feel like you need to hide, whether it's the vulnerable part of you that's sad, or the part of you that's scared, or the part of you that actually doesn't like something, or the part of you that does actually like something.

All these parts of you are parts of you and there's nothing wrong with them and they don't need to be hidden. Like I said, turn toward the attitude of understanding it, try to understand why it is the way that it is, try to find a way to accept the way that it is. And notice I didn't say, find approval for it, because that's the next step. You first need to accept the part of you that is what it is or is how it is. You need to accept that it is that way or it is that thing. You need to just accept the truth of it.

First, it is that way. You need to just accept the truth of it. First, it is that way. Not trying to change it, not trying to anything. Just look at it and find a way to fucking accept it. It is what it is. It is a part of you. Then you can move into the whole like process of approving of it. And that's a whole different fucking bag of worms. I don't want to open canal worms, bag of worms, bitch. I'm thinking of gummy worms But yes, the most loving action you can take is to stop hiding parts of yourself is to bring the truth of yourself and who you are To the front and showing it and sharing it with people It's not self-loving to hide any part of you So I'm gonna end this podcast off on that.

I hope this episode was helpful because everyone was fucking on my ass about the self-love, self-love, self-love. Okay, here it is. Send me your thoughts on Instagram. I'll have my DMs open so you guys can message me whatever you want. I really wanna know what you think of this episode.

My Instagram is Leo the Albo. I'll put it in the description of this podcast so you can look it up. I'll also put my TikToks and all my other shit in my app too. If you want to download my app, it's called positive focus. But definitely send me you guys' opinion on this episode because this is what I've learned. This is some of the shit that I've had worked for me because I've tried. I've read over 50 self-help books. And I still didn't fucking know what to do after them. And this is the shit that I came up with. This is the shit that I just had to learn from experience and like just figuring it out on my own because everything

else has fucking failed me. That's really what this podcast is. It's me sharing what I've learned because nothing else goddamn works so Hope it was helpful hope you could take something from it and I hope this inspires you to start Taking more self-loving actions and stop beating yourself up because you don't air quote love yourself Like bitch, it's a process. It's a fucking way of life. It's not a goddamn thing you just feel or don't feel. So thank you for listening. If you made it this far, I love you all to death. And I will talk to you next Sunday.