Aware & Aggravated - 24. How To Make Friends

Episode Date: June 9, 2022

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Hi friends, so this episode is all about making you some friends. I'm gonna teach you everything I fucking know and it's a whole bunch I promise and I hope I'm able to share some things that you haven't heard of before and I really really hope at the end of this episode you feel a little bit more excited and Prepared and like equipped with the knowledge and ideas to go out and make some goddamn friends because I know exactly How it is to feel lonely as shit and these are all the things I've learned, and I hope they can help you. So I'm gonna start off with a couple tips and just general things,

and then I'm gonna get straight into where to meet motherfuckers, and where to actually make friends, where to go what to do, and how to do it. But the first thing I wanna say is like a reassuring thing. You're not the only one looking for connection. I promise you that. You're not the only one that's looking for friends. I know it feels like that sometimes, but you're not the only one that wants to make friends and that's looking for people to have in their life.

It's a lot more common than you think people just don't talk about it. Like for some reason, it's weird to want to make friends. Like it's just a weird fucking stigma around it, but I want to reassure you that you're not crazy and you're not alone. And other people are looking for friends too. It's not just you. Cause the messages I've received in the last six months, I've had at least 50 people ask me to make a podcast episode about making friends since I started this fucking thing. And I'm not exaggerating, like at least 50, at least 50 people have message me asking for it.

So here it fucking is. So the first thing I really need you to get is that there is a potential for connection all around you, all the time. I realized this at the beach the other day. I went to the beach with a couple of my friends and I was just looking around, all the people on the beach, and I was like,

Leo, you literally could walk up to any of these people right now, start talking to them and maybe become friends with any of them. That possibility is there, but I'm choosing not to. So I'm choosing to sit here on my little fucking towel and hang out with my little group and not go out and find more friends, which is fine. But my whole point of bringing this up is to make it clear that there's potential for connection all around you, but you need to realize you're choosing not to act on it. You're choosing not to go up to people. I know there's plenty of reasons why I fucking get it, but we got to realize what is actually in our control so that we can feel Empower to do something about it, but that is in our control. I could have gotten up and talked to any fucking buddy

I wanted to, but I didn't, but that was my choice and reminding myself and seeing it as a choice is what's gonna make you feel Better about moving forward with everything I'm about to say like you have to take accountability first about moving forward with everything I'm about to say. Like you have to take accountability first. So go in to where to meet friends. You need to get clear with yourself on what kind of friend you want. Do you want a friend that you go to the gym with? Do you want like a fit friend, like a workout friend?

Do you want a business friend? Someone that's like an entrepreneur and doing their shit, do you want successful friends? Do you want party friends? Friends to go party with and go get fucked up and like Go to clubs and shit is that a type of friend you want or do you want a friend that's just gonna hang out with you in your day to day and Have deep talks and whatever it is like just get clear on what you want a friend for and what you want your friend to be able to do because I'm just gonna Tell you it's a lot more difficult than you think to find friends with range.

I have a couple. Thank fucking God. But I do a lot of shit. Like I'm into fitness, I'm into business. I like to party sometimes when it's not gonna fuck up the rest of the shit that I'm working on. But I like to go to raves and concerts and stuff. I like to travel. I like to have really deep talks as you're fucking know. And I'm very like clean with the way that I eat and I'm very conscientious about my health. But I do all of those things and it's very difficult to find someone with that level of range because typically the people that party a lot don't take into consideration their health. And the people that are fucking fitness nuts are not really gonna be down to go out and party with you. So it's like you gotta figure out what you want friends for and then find different friends to fill different slots.

So if you want a workout friend and a fit friend, focus on finding a fit friend. There's gonna be different places you can go to meet these type people. Versus if you want a party friend or a friend that's gonna travel with you or you want another friend that's very into deep talks. So that's my first step is get clear

on what you want a friend for and realize one friend is not enough because people do not have typically the range that some people do that are into a lot of things. And if you only have one friend that does have range, you're gonna be fucking lonely when they're busy. So you need multiple. You need a lot of resources and people to like,

hang out with and do shit with, because when one's busy, you got another one. And when you have a falling out with one of them, where you have an argument or whatever, it doesn't seem like the end of the fucking world and you're not gonna get too amished or too like a tree knit like a relationship and shit, you know So when you go to make friends. This is my first fucking tip and it's a bigger tip than most people realize

What you're wearing Says a lot and can help you a lot So when you go out and you're in the mood to go like meet new people and have friends Where what the fuck is gonna make you feel confident? But also where something a little weird or something that expresses a certain interest of yours So some people are in the fucking anime. I don't fuck with anime. I don't get it But some people are into that shit. So where something fucking anime? So the other people that like anime will see it on you and they'll see you have something in common and then they'll feel instantly

drawn to you. And if you're not someone that's very outgoing, that gives someone like me who is outgoing a reason to come up and talk to you if you look cool or you seem interesting or whatever it is. Like give people a reason to come and talk to you. Give them a conversation opener if you're not very outgoing. Another good idea is having merch for some of your favorite shit. Like the podcast call her daddy. They have merch and it's like the daddy gang. So like when you see people out in public

that are wearing the call her daddy merch, you know their brain works a certain way. You know they have a certain set of knowledge. You know they have a certain sense of humor, and you know you'll get along if you both enjoy listening to that same podcast. So that'll easily make you feel like connected to people, but you have to wear shit to let them know that you have something in common. Like don't do nothing crazy. Don't be out there with it and don't be a fucking weirdo about it. But that's a good way for people to open up conversation or you can open up conversation with other people about it Like mentioning something that they're wearing that you both have in common

And also if you look fucking cute it gives someone an opportunity to compliment you So girls trying to make friends that are girls like bitch, where's something cute? Be hot and don't worry about girls being intimidated by you You don't want about girls being intimidated by you. You don't want friends that are intimidated anyways. You want friends that are gonna hype you up and tell you you look fucking hot, if you look fucking hot. So, like dress, where you feel confident,

but dress like, complementable, and then wear something that is like, letting people know you have something in common. Like express your interests through what you're wearing a little bit. I'm not the motherfuckers to ask about that. I wear all black. I don't like logos, I don't like branding, I don't like you to be able to tell like what shit is on me. So I don't want anyone to know my interests.

So I'm not like the one to practice what I preach on this one. But this is a really good idea for other people because I'm someone that's very outgoing and I don't feel comfortable letting people know things about me. But people wearing shit that I know of, it makes me feel confident and comfortable to go up and talk to them and open up conversation. Because if I see someone wearing teal swan merch that she's a spiritual guru,

I fucking love that bitch with my whole heart. If I saw someone wearing her merch, I would run up to them immediately and I'm not letting you walk away, not being friends with me. Like I'm gonna get your number, we're gonna fucking hang out. I did that one time actually.

I saw someone wearing a mask when COVID was like a fucking thing. And I was like, oh my God, it's a teal swan fucking frequency mask. And I went up to the guy and I was like, yo, I was like, he's got a teal swan mask. And he was like, I don't know, my sister gave it to me like, what is that? And I was like, oh, never mind. But my point is, I saw someone wearing something that I thought was from someone I was so interested in and I ran up to them immediately. So give people the chance to do that by expressing

what the fuck you're into. Okay, so my next tip is to go places regularly. So if you go to a coffee shop, go to the same fucking coffee shop. If you go to like a little restaurant, go to the same places like over and over and become like a familiar face in these places. So there's a couple of reasons I say this. And one of them is because if you get along well with the staff,

and you start like shooting shit every day or like there's this bar I go to downtown and the girl behind the counter her name is Shania and like we get along so well and we just bullshit but like we're friends now because I've consistently gone in there like she's fun as fuck and like we just shoot shit back and forth but getting to know the staff at places can help you a lot. So another thing with that is like go alone, like going out to eat alone. If you like your waiter and they're like, oh, they seem fucking cool. There's a lot of young people that are waiters and waitresses. If you're young, looking for friends, but if you hit it off with a waiter

or a waitress, fucking be like, oh my god, your fun is shit. Let's be friends. Like at the end, I'm leaving my number on the check for you. let's be friends. Like you can just hit it off with people. That's just kind of an example of like how to meet someone, but being consistent as my point on this one is like go to places regularly, select the coffee shop, go to the same fucking one, talk to the same people, get known by people, or even just become a frequent face that people see.

Because when people see you consistently, they see a familiar face, you're familiar to them, they're comfortable with you being there. And that opens up the possibility for them to relax and break the communication barrier if you don't first. So that's another point I'm gonna get into is breaking the communication barrier, and I'm gonna teach you some ways to fucking do that.

But being a familiar face is more important than you think. And especially with like more like trendy places, like there's this restaurant that I go to called George Bistro. And I've gone there for a long time, he and my sister and my dad, like, we fucking love that place. And we've gotten to know the wait staff. And my personality, I get along with fucking everybody. And if we get along, we get the fuck along.

Like, if you get my humor, bits were besties. So there's been multiple times that the staff, like they're cute at that restaurant. They'll go out together. So like at the end of their shifts on weekends and shit, a couple of the staff will like go out together, like go to a bar and go hang out. And they've invited me a couple of times.

I've been busy and I really want to go hang out with them because they're cool as fuck, but that's just something that is an easy way to make friends. Like if you're going to eat at these places, you become friends with the staff, you become like familiar with them. They see your personalities cool, you get along well. That's the perfect way to go and meet friends

and hang out with people because if you go with this certain waiter or two waiters or waitresses that you really like, you'll meet other ones. You'll meet friends, you already know you bond, you already know that you're comfortable with each other, you're a familiar face. They seem like familiar to you because they are. So that's easy. Fucking gold for making friends is that. Okay, so remember when I just talked about breaking the communication barrier?

I'm gonna talk about this at the gym because the gym is a great place to meet friends and especially if you want someone that's into fitness and into like a healthy lifestyle and working on their goals and shit. So at the gym, it's the same kind of thing. If you go to the gym at the same time, relatively, every day, you're going to start seeing the same people that go at that time. They're going to start becoming familiar to you. You're going to start becoming a familiar face to them. Now, it's going to be a lot easier to break the communication barrier with them.

So a big fucking tip I have for anything anywhere, not just at the gym, I cannot tell you how fucking far it goes just to acknowledge someone exists. If you look at them in their eyes and smile at them, just smiling at them and looking at them in their eyes lets them know that you see them, okay? That's bigger than you fucking think because everybody's so busy, busy, busy, go, go, go. And just like that's an acknowledgement is looking them in their eyes

and smiling at them. That's acknowledging them. You can even say, hi, just fucking saying, hi, with a smile is bigger than you realize. You don't have to like say, hi, expecting a conversation. You can just say, hi, like, and keep walking or whatever it is or just like, get back to whatever you're doing. That person now feels comfortable with you because this woman did it to me. I don't know if I've talked about this in the podcast yet, but this woman did it to me

on my flight to Cabo. Like, typically when you get in a plane, you just sit down and shut the fuck up. Well, that's what I do. But this woman, like, went and sat down next to me and she just looked at me and smiled real big and was like, hi, just a real friendly, hi. And I was like, hi.

And then she just finished putting her shit away. I went back to fucking with my AirPods. And then we just sat there, but I felt so comfortable because there wasn't that awkward silence of like, oh, we haven't acknowledged each other. It was like it was broken. She broke that and made it comfortable.

And then we ended up talking and like I initiated conversation because I felt comfortable too because she acknowledged my fucking existence. And then we ended up talking a lot throughout the flight. And I fucking miss her and I love her. And like we bonded. But just saying high and acknowledging someone is bigger than you think. So especially at the fucking gym, this is going to get easier and easier. So for guys and girls, you're able to like look at each other and smile just a friendly fucking smile, whatever. That's great. Smile. As as the days go by and you start seeing people more, smile at them, say hi, say what's up, acknowledge them, whatever. Like guys do the little fucking like chin up at each other. Like what's up? That's very common.

So that's a good thing That's acknowledgement But a couple things you can say at the gym to break the communication barrier Is tell someone you like their shoes Ask someone where they got something be like yo that's sick where did you get that? Whether whatever the fuck it is. I don't care if they have a fucking slim gym. Like, just find something about them you like, or something that they're wearing that you like me, like, yo, that's sick, where'd you get it? Because you're gonna make them feel good.

And you asked where'd you get it. So you don't need to have a full fucking conversation. All you need to do when you break the barrier of communication is just break the barrier. So like this guy I told one time at the gym, I was like, yo, your sleeves are sick. And he was like, oh, thank you, bro. And I was like, yeah, most people with sleeves, like a sleeves be wearing them, but you wear on the fuck out of those. They look good. And I made him laugh. And then I like, he was like, thanks. And he got like flat, our knees cool. And whatever. And then it's like, I left. I had no intention of having any further

conversation. Like, I just wanted to let him know that his fucking sleeves were cool. break that barrier, because it's like we were alone in the locker room, it's fucking weird. So I'll just like speak to you. So like I made him feel good about himself. He likes his tattoos. But now it's like whenever we see each other at the gym,

it's like what's up buddy? It's like the barrier was broken and now it's cool and now it's fun. But that's the point. It's just fucking speak to them, speak at them. Another thing you can ask someone in the gym to break that barrier, you just wanna talk to them, speak at them. Another thing you can ask someone in the gym to break that barrier, you just wanna talk to them, is walking up to them if they're on a machine

between sets, don't fucking do it in the middle of their set. And be like, yo, are you using this and point to something next to them and get on it? Or be like, yo, how many sets you got left? And then just be like, okay, cool, no rush, no worries. Just let it fucking be, but you broke that communication. You know, like you fucking talked to them, and now you can walk off.

Like you don't have to go into making friends and like have a full fucking conversation with people. You can just acknowledge them, break that communication barrier, and then see them the next day. So it's gonna escalate. Like every day you see them after you break the communication barrier, just find a way

to acknowledge them every day, every other day, whatever it is, but it's just gonna get more and more in depth and you never know what's gonna come of it. Like you literally have no fucking clue because I've been invited to shit, I've been invited to parties and it's like girl, like thanks, but like fuck no.

I'm not gonna know strangers parties, but my whole point is you never know where it's gonna go, where it's like, girl, like, thanks, but like, fuck no. I don't go to no strangers parties. But my whole point is you never know where it's gonna go, where it's gonna lead to. And you don't have to have a full conversation when you go to meet somebody. That's a big thing. You're able to just acknowledge them and keep moving. Keep on your fucking way.

You don't have to have a full conversation. Let it happen organically. Let it happen naturally. If it's you, like, you keep seeing, keep what the same place like the gym. Now, if you see someone out one time and you know they're probably not going to see them again, you need to like put a little more effort into having more of a conversation. But like at the gym, you can just like bullshit and see where it goes.

Okay, so my next tip for finding a fan, look at what you're into. Find your hobbies or your interests or whatever it is because there's a couple things that I've been wanting to try and I'm like I know that they're on my list okay but making friends is not my priority right now but a couple things on my list are yoga because I really want to try yoga and the people that do yoga are usually like with it to a certain extent like awareness wise so or their spiritual so that's like a good place to meet people like that I thought about volleyball because I'm I love a volleyball I'm very competitive like tennis and shit my town does a run club every Wednesday like they everyone meets downtown at a certain spot and everybody just runs like

three miles together guru I ain't running no three fucking mouths right now I'm gonna have to fucking work my endurance up by trying to go join some fucking run club. Like, what do I think I am? But that's a good way to get around people, but to have an activity to do, same with cycling classes. Like, if you wanna go to a cycle class,

you're around people with an activity. So that's like a really, really good and comfortable thing is when you're fucking around people, but you have something to do. So you have a reason to interact, but that's not your only reason for talking to them. Like, is this that makes sense? Like, you have an activity to do,

and you can talk, but talking is not the only reason that you're near each other and interacting. It's like walking up to someone out of bar. It's like, bitch, have something to do. Don't just come up and talk to me because it's awkward. I'm talking about people in general. Like, if you guys ever recognize me in public come fuck and say hi I don't care. I don't give a fuck how weird it is. I'll buy you a drink. Well, if I can take a picture

Don't ever be scared to come up to me But make it clear that you know me from like my podcast or take something because I'm not approachable in Like bars or like out in public. So like if you me, just if you see me looking like a fucking asshole, that's just how I am. That's just my external shell. So if you come up through me, I'm like, Leah, I know you from TikTok

or I know you from your podcast or whatever. I'll immediately drop that facade and I'll be like, oh my God, hi. But I have that facade so people leave me the fuck alone. But yeah, that's just my heads up on that. But yeah, my point with going to all these classes

and shit is like, that's plenty of places to meet people. That's things to do. And with finding things to do, another thing that kind of goes along with that is like finding someone that you can do an activity with. So examples of this are like an acting coach. If you want some kind of coach or like shit for acting or singing or whatever or a fucking trainer at the gym

or a lash lady, a nail lady, your barber, your hair stylist, whatever it is. It's like these people that you're around, you're forced to be around them and communicate with them and talk to them and engage and interact. It's so much easier to make a connection off of that. Oppose to like I said before of just not having a reason to be around each other because you have a chance to get to know each other for a certain amount of time.

Like when I go to my barber, me and him are cool as fuck, me and him are like friends as shit because I'm with you for an hour every fucking week. Like we're gonna hang out, we're gonna get to know each other and like we haven't hung out like outside of the chair yet because like I'm just busy and he catches me at my wrong fucking time. And he got a wife and shit and like we be partying in different ways. So, like we try to hang out a lot, it just doesn't line up.

But my point is, is like get to know the people that you have to be around. Cause it's like school friends. Like you know when you were in school and you all had to be around. Cause it's like school friends. Like you know when you were in school and you all had to be around each other and it was just easy to fucking like make friends cause you were forced to be around each other. Use those opportunities because that's how you're trained

to make friends from growing up. Like being around people at school you were forced to be around them. So use that to your advantage. Be friends with all the people you have to be around and my other little thing about that is like Jobs like your co-workers and shit. You have to be around the matters will make it fucking fun And if you've worked with certain people for a long time and you don't really know how to like Bring up hanging out like just throw it in fucking conversation

I'm like oh my god. We should hang out or like if someone comes to you about gossip like oh bitch the way you talk shit We need to hang out we need to get drinks or like if someone comes to you about gossip like, oh bitch, the way you talk shit, we need to hang out. We need to get drinks or like say something like that, but also if there's people at your work that you want to talk to that you're just like around, but you don't really how to talk to them. Just fucking find a way to break the communication. Like I said, if you need something, if you need to ask them for something, do it. But the more you can see them and the more you can like put yourself around them, the

better. And if there's just like this unspoken person you want to hang out with and you've seen them for a long time But like, yo, you intrigue me for some reason. I feel drawn to you. So let's hang out. I think we meant to be friends. Like just say some kind of fucking joke or like open it up or like I'm gonna come sit by you today. Like something, just something to like get around them. Something I just thought about that is the most bonding experience and is the best way to meet someone new is fucking smoking a blunt together. If you're someone that smokes, bitch, that is your way in.

Tell someone you want to smoke with them because that is a fat ass compliment because there are certain people you just can't smoke with. You know what I mean? You want to be in good company when you're smoking a fucking blunt And that's just such a bonding experience. It's so cutesy and you guys could talk about all kind of shit because your brains both gonna start like You're gonna be thinking of all kind of shit. So that's perfect literally just tell someone you want to smoke with them But if they don't smoke with like oh whatever, let's get drinks then and if it's a oh, I don't drink Okay, then what do you do because clearly? I'm trying to be a friend. You know what I mean? Like, just be funny. So my next piece of advice for people that want to find like business friends, this is what I've thought of to do.

So you know how there's like business seminars and shit and like people will put on big like group events. Um, and you can go like watch people speak and it's just like little business events and you have to pay some of them are like a hundred bucks and some of them are like five thousand bucks to go to. I ain't going to the fucking expensive ones yet. Like I'm tripping And it's just like little business events and you have to pay some of them are like a hundred bucks and some of them are like 5,000 bucks to go to I ain't going to the fucking expensive ones yet like I'm tripping over like 150 all the fucking tickets But those are great places to go network and meet people that are business-minded and are trying to grow Their business or becoming entrepreneur. So that's something I've been looking into recently is finding out where upcoming seminars Are gonna be and then planning to travel to them because even if you meet people that are in different places than you

You never know where they're from and it's good to have connections everywhere because you never know where you're gonna end up Because right now I'm in a place where I want a fucking move and I'm thinking Houston But I'm not sure for sure where I want to move So it's like if I go to a seminar and I meet some really fucking cool people and I'm like where do you live? And they're like, oh Chicago or California. I'm like, okay, well here I come. Like now I want to move there

because now I have people there. You know, so you never know what's gonna come of it. So don't just immediately shut it off in your mind, but that's a really good place to go to meet business-minded people as seminars and little events and shit And what I said about having connections and meeting people that could be anywhere that's where social media will come in So that's a great way to make friends is social media

Finding people that have the same interests as you Facebook groups are a really fucking underrated thing because there's local Facebook groups for all kind of shit like any interest you have is a fucking Facebook group for it. So literally go on any fucking Facebook group that you find an interest in and join it and just talk shit see who's in there, post some shit. Like just see who you meet and see who catches your attention. But when you immediately have something to bond over, you don't have to fake conversation. You have something to talk about.

But there's also local groups, like I said. So if you find people that are in your city or in a city nearby, you can fucking travel and see them or like hang out with them if they're in your city. That's a great way to make friends, but like also social media, like not even just Facebook groups, like Instagram, TikTok, like there's plenty of ways

to meet people. And me posting on TikTok has helped me meet a lot of cool ass people. Like I have a lot of internet friends now because I've gotten online and posted shit and like revealed my personality and people just like what I have to say and they like me.

And it's made it really easy, honestly. So even though other people live in different cities, when I travel to different cities We can hang the fuck out like I have people to hang out with anywhere I go if I travel somewhere And that's the best fucking feeling ever like to feel like you have someone somewhere Anywhere you could go visit like that's the fucking best shit ever and even if I didn't have someone I could make a post I'm like yo who the fuck is in whatever city? Let's hang out or I'm gonna be here.

Let's hang out. So yeah, definitely utilize social media. Put effort into the connections that are with the people that you want or with people that are working towards the same shit as you. Oh, one thing I just thought of, people are like obsessed with their fucking pets. So take your pet out.

If you have a dog, take your fucking pet out. People have like a weird obsession with like their animals. I love cats, okay? I love animals. I would never hurt an animal. But some people have like a weird fucking fetish for their dog. I don't get it.

I really don't get it. But use that to your advantage. If you want to go out and like meet people, that's a really good way to like break the tension and break the awkward. People will approach any fucking animal they see. And if you're on the other end of the leash, it's like, boom, you instantly have a reason

to start talking to them. And if they seem cool, and if they have a dog, be like, oh my God, they need to have a play date. And then just hang out with them. But make it about their fucking dog. You know what I mean? There's plenty of ways to convert that into a friendship. But if you don't want someone that's obsessed

with their fucking animal, then probably don't, because I don't have no goddamn dog. And I don't want no friends with dogs, because I don't want no friends with responsibilities holding them down like that. You know, it's like people with kids. Like people my age with kids, I don't have friends that have kids.

Like we don't hang out. Like I know people, and I'm not mean to people just because they have a kid, but that does not mesh with my lifestyle I'm not someone that wants the responsibility of oh I need to remember to go home and take my fucking dog out so we can go piss or I have a whole last baby at home I can't do xyz I like the freedom of being able to get the fuck up and run away any moment I want and I can't do that if I have a child

Or if I have a dog or like some animal that I cannot just throw in a little fucking carrier and run away because Cat can come with me. She's very low maintenance and I love it. But does that make sense? Like if you want a friend, you need to find out who's compatible with you as a friend because if you're someone that's 24 and you meet some other bitch that's 24 and she has a child, like you're on very different pages. She's got a lot more to take into consideration and is not going to be able to do as much as you could do. So they could be a good friend to have, but they might not be your like closest friend. And that's okay.

And another thing about being picky with the friends that you have, you need to make a list of like non-negotiables or like shit that you are looking for and shit that you would not put up with in a friend. The types of friends that I stay away from now are people that are constantly partying or drinking on weekdays. Like why the fuck are you drinking on weekdays that are not Friday? You know what I mean? Like I'm too busy and doing too much shit to have like my mental state altered or to feel hung over like on a weekday. Like sure, two years ago

and I was going through a lot of shit. I was like drinking nonstop. I was entertaining extracurricular things. I don't know what the fuck to call it. Like I'm free to, I have like free speech on my podcast, right? I don't know, like doing drugs, bitch. So like there was a time in my life where I was going through so much shit

I just had to escape my reality and cope through it. So only way I felt like I could do it. Like I was like drinking and drugging like every fucking weekend and it would like bleed into the weekdays sometimes. But the friends I made that I was doing that with are no longer the friends that I have. I no longer hang out with them

because I've changed and I want more for my life and I'm now incompatible to those people because I don't drink and drug every weekend. I drink like every other weekend, maybe, but I don't get drunk like I used to and I don't do drugs often. Like, I don't do Molly and Coke and shit. Like, it's not my fucking thing. It stresses me the fuck out.

I don't like it. Like, I've stopped doing it at festivals and shit too. Like, I'll do mushrooms or I'll do acid, but I'm not doing like crazy fucking shit anymore. Like, I'm just over it. But my whole point behind that is the friends that you make when you're doing that type shit, when you want more from life, you're gonna have to make new friends. And that's what I've had to do. Now I believe in balance, okay, because I still do certain things.

I still drink. I still party. I still have fun. I do raves, but I also prioritize what the fuck I'm doing. And I want people around me that also are able to do that. But yeah, I had a big period where I was fucking alone with nobody because all the friends I had were just party friends. And they didn't know how to like not be under the influence of something. So like when I tried to get my shit together and when I started like making

different decisions and I started trying to make a business and grow my social media, it's like I didn't have time to do those things anymore. So that's one of my non-negotiables now, is like, I don't want friends that drink every fucking day or do drugs at a very frequent basis. Like I don't want that shit. I want people that are level headed and driven

and work in toward shit like I am, but we will let loose when they want to. You know, another thing like I said is kids like someone that has kids I'm not gonna not be friends with you because you have a kid but you're not gonna be a very close close friend to me that I hang out with all the time because kids are fucking and convenient for the lifestyle that I want to live. That's why I don't have one. Like I want fucking kids so bad but I know the way that I want to live and that's why I don't have one. Like I want fucking kids so bad. But I know the way that I wanna live and I know what I need to put my energy into right now. So finding friends on the same page as you

and finding friends that want to invest their time and energy into the same things as you with like similar priorities is your best bet. So find the ones that are on the same fucking path as you because if you don't and you try and force friendships with people that are not working towards the same fucking path as you. Because if you don't and you try and force friendships with people that are not working towards the same thing, you are, they're gonna snatch you away from what you wanna do.

It's just how it goes. It's not gonna seem like obvious, but skipping what you're wanting to do to go out and party or whatever, it's only gonna happen so many times before it starts like really fucking with your progress and like holding you back from what you want. But another non-negotiable for me is someone who only fucking works out and is a health

nut. Like, if you can't have fun and like let loose and do shit with me, if you're always just gonna be uptight and boring and you can't go to a fucking restaurant because you have to like, way you're fucking meals, oh my god bro, like I have to fucking eat only four ounces of chicken. Like no, I don't fucking hang out with people like that. Like a little perfectionist, no, I like to actually feel like it's okay to be human

and being around people like that, it ain't fun. So that's like a non-negotiable for me too. Like I'm very fucking picky with my friends, but there's nothing wrong with it. Nothing wrong with it at all because I'm gonna encourage you to be the same way. Because friends really have the potential to hold you back or help you move forward. So it's very, very important that you fucking choose wisely. So my next tip

is go to shit you're invited to. And even if you seem like, oh my god, I really just don't want to fucking go to this, you never know who you're going to meet and you never know what's going to happen. So start saying yes to shit. Okay. I mean, if you really are just like, no, it's not gonna go anywhere good and you just like resent it and you really do not want to do it, then don't go. But if you're just like, eh, then make yourself go. Because you never know who you're gonna fucking meet. And that's one of my best tips for like going out and doing shit. Even if you have a friend that you're not like super close with, going out and doing shit, even if you have a friend that you're not super close with,

like kind of use them to get you out and about. So whenever I'm out in public by myself, I'm a lot more hesitant to talk to people than I am when I'm with someone. So like when I feel safe and comfortable, like I have someone with me, I'm a lot more outgoing and willing to talk and shoot shit and like engage in conversation and start up conversation. I don't know why that is, but if you're the same way, use a friend that you have to go be social in other settings and like to go do things.

Like I call it having a home base. Like when I go out, I like to have the people I know I'm gonna be out with. But then I'll like go frolic around and like meet new people, flirt, fuck around, and like I'll just do my thing, like I'll just like social butterfly my ass around, but I feel comfortable to do that because I have my home base of the people I know I'm out with. But do that. So like even if you don't want to go to this fucking event or you don't want to go to this thing or whatever it is, if you have one friend that you know that's going, then go with them because they're going to be your little home base for when you're there, you'll feel comfortable to just talk to other people that are there and shoot shit and you don't know who you're going

to meet. So you never know the connections you're going to make. Fucking go because the nights that I've met people that I'm like the tightest with are the nights where I'm like I really just don't feel like I fit in. I don't feel like I fucking belong and I've met some really cool fucking people. So that's my biggest tip is use the fucking friends you got and go to the shit you're invited to. So this next tip is my biggest one after you make a connection with somebody.

You need to fucking hang out with them very soon after. Like next day, two days later, you need to fucking set up some time for you to hang out again. If you meet someone out partying or whatever, schedule a fucking like, let's hang out tomorrow or let's hang out in two days, let's go grab lunch, whatever the fuck it is, find a way to stay connected to them and stay like on their mind and like,

I swear, just hang out fucking quick because if you don't hang out Quick right after you meet them. You're not gonna fucking hang out. I don't know what it is It's this weird fucking like cosmic thing But you don't meet someone and then hang out a month later that doesn't happen if you don't hang out with them relatively Quickly after you met them for the first time and establish that connection. You're gonna lose it I'm just gonna go hand-mourning you. I've been through that shit too many fucking times. And also, if you're gonna meet someone that's out,

like, partying or whatever and they're drunk and they talk about hanging out, and it's like if you make an effort to hang out with them when they're not drunk and they kinda blow it off, let it go. Let it fucking go, do not try and force it because a lot of people talk shit and run their fucking mouth about hanging out when they're drunk.

So if you're going to make plans, make them when you're sober and make them when other people are sober. Oh, another tip. Remember when I said about wearing something cool and wearing something that you can relate to people with or something that people could talk to you about? Look at people's fucking tattoos because if someone got something tattooed on them, it's very important to them. So make sure you look at people's tattoos and take if someone got something tattooed on them, it's very important to them. So make sure you like look at people's tattoos and take an interest in them.

That's something a lot of people don't do. As you can like ask people about their tattoos, what they are, what they mean. If you recognize something that you like see that you both have something in common, great. That means it's very important to them. That's your fucking shoe in with them. Have a highlight to open up conversation, how to talk to them, whatever it is. Or like walk up to someone with a tattoo and be like, yo, is that XYZ?

What an anime fucking shit is the best example? But like, yo, is that fucking, I don't even know anime shit to even give you an example? But like, you know what I mean? If it's like a symbol that you fucking recognize or whatever, be like, yo, is that that? And then they'll be like, yeah. And then most people will like go into a story or go into something about it And they'll keep the conversation going or you can just be like, yo, it's fucking sick. I love XYZ too

Or be like, I know that's how you're coolest shit. We need to be friends. And we're like, here's my number. Let's hang out You literally have to just fucking go for it It's not as fucking awkward as you think and people are just as excited as you are when you're talking to them about something that they're interested in because like if someone came up to me about one of my tattoos, I have no tattoos honestly. But like if I had some spiritual shit tattooed on me and someone came up to me and recognized what it was, I would be like oh my fucking god, like I would be so excited that someone just recognized it So that's my reassurance to you is like when you're talking to someone or you're noticing something about them

You're instantly gonna feel close and bonded and like drawn to each other for it I promise you just got a fucking to it But another thing with that is like how I said let's be friends like you have to tell people like yo Like let's be fucking friends. You're cool as as shit you have to express that you want to be friends um I know that's scary and it's risky but like I said with the whole familiar thing if you keep seeing people and you get more comfortable and familiar with them it's a lot easier to say that but if you just throw the word friend and you're good and if you're interested in talking further express that if you're interested in talking further, express that. If you're interested in hanging out again, express that. Like, yo, let's get lunch. You seem cool.

The shit I want to keep talking, but let them know that you're interested in getting to know them better and be friends or whatever it is. People love that shit. Like if someone fucking said that to me, like, I instantly fucking love you. And I'm like, oh my God, you like me. The fact that people like me makes me like them. And that's how everybody is. It's human psychology. So remember that. So I have a couple more tips. But a really, really big one is be your fucking self. Do not try to be what you think people would like

or what other people would want you to be. Don't try to be that. Be fucking you. Because when you meet people, that's what you want them to meet. You want them to like you for who you are and the way you show up genuinely, not for some image you're putting on. That creates distance. You're never going to feel close to people like that. And it will speed up the full process of you finding friends that actually will be like good friends to you and will like you for you. Like it will make it so much easier

for you to make friends and find friends because the people that like you for you are getting to experience you right off the bat. So the people that like who you truly are are gonna be drawn to you immediately. So you're fucking good, you know? And when you meet new people, it's so much easier to set up boundaries with them

than it is to set up boundaries with people that already know you or like you have a pass with because it's harder to like go back and act different than what they know versus setting something up from the get go. Of like, these are my boundaries. This is what I like. This is what I don't like.

It's easier to do that with new people like out the gate so they know what to expect and they know what they're getting into. They know how to treat you from the fucking get go. That's great. That's very important. And it's easy to do when someone's meeting you for the first time. So when I say BU, BU, set your fucking boundaries. Be clear about what you do and don't like.

Don't be fucking mean. But like, just give people the chance to get to know the actual you and see if the true you is who they want to be friends with, and you have to do the same to them. Like, you want them to show you them so you can see if you actually want to be friends or not. Like, don't fucking cap fish them. So if you're worried about rejection and shit, this is something that happened to me the other day when I was at the beach.

So there were these volleyball nets and I wanted to play volleyball so fucking bad. And like me and my friends were walking up to go to the bathroom and order drinks and shit and we had to walk past the volleyball court. And there was four guys playing, so two on each side. And when I walked by I was like, yo, if you guys find a third, like I want to play. So they all looked at me and didn't say a fucking word. And I just kept walking. Like they literally like blew me the fuck off like I didn't just say shit. But I expressed my interest in playing. It doesn't always mean you're gonna line up

with people that are gonna be receptive to that or will be nice to you. Like they didn't acknowledge me, but I don't give a fuck. That says more about them than it says about me. Like okay, I'll go ask the next fucking group to play volleyball. Suck my dick, you know? But just because someone doesn't like, return the favor, it doesn't fucking mean anything. Like it's not a big deal.

Like you guys are just little shit, it's like fuck you. Like I really, like I genuinely didn't care. Like I just thought to myself, okay you fucking dumb fucks. I think I said that out loud, but I didn't say where they could hear it. But like I thought to myself, okay, you fucking dumb fucks. I think I said that out loud, but I didn't say where they could hear it. But like I just kept walking, going about my fucking day. Like I wasn't like fucked up by it or hurt by it.

Like I was just like, oh, like whatever. But one day, those boys are gonna get to a place where they're looking for connection. And then they're gonna have to go and try to find people to be friends with. They're gonna have to go try to put their selves out there and then they're gonna have to go and try to find people to be friends with. They're gonna have to go try to put their selves out there. And then they're gonna be faced with exactly

what they fucking did to me. Because that is how the universe works. You learn through fucking contrast. So the way that people treat you, they're gonna line up with the same shit. So just know that and just fucking keep your little ass moving. Don't get upset, don't get insecure. Don't freak out if someone doesn't wanna be friends with insecure. Don't freak out if someone doesn't want to be friends with you.

Don't freak out if someone is like rude to you or whatever or just like doesn't acknowledge you. Like fuck you then. Like fuck you and just keep walking. You know what I mean? It's literally a numbers game. It's a fucking numbers game of how many people you can talk to.

I swear to God. Like if you just commit to talking to five new people a day, like smiling and just like looking at someone in their eyes, you only have to talk to them, or you could just say, hi, if you just commit to every day saying hi and smiling at five different people every day, it's only a matter of time before one of those smiles leads to something so much more. If you want to make it 10 people a fucking day, then make it 10 people. But if you're just playing the numbers game, it's eventually going to flip. Like something's going to change, but not acknowledging people, not talking to people, not doing anything is going to keep

getting you what you've been getting. So if you just say I'm gonna smile at fucking five people every day, just see what happens. And trust me, you'll be more shocked than you think. But I guarantee you, someone out of this group of people is going to like that about you that you just smiled at them and probably will say something and speak to you. And you never know where it's gonna go. You never know where that initial acknowledgement

of someone is going to lead. So just keep taking the fucking chance and literally every day just smile at five new people. I swear to God, just fucking do it and see what happens. Because if you keep track for like a month, that's 150 fucking people you just engaged with. In one month, and I guarantee you, more than you expect, we'll talk to you. and you might end up with a couple of friends at the end of the month You never fucking know so just give it the goddamn chance, but I promise you it's a numbers game So increase your odds increase your chances and you're fucking good like it's gonna happen It's a fucking numbers game. It's like if you go to the casino and you just keep playing you're gonna hit

Eventually you just got gotta keep hitting the button. So keep smiling, keep acknowledging people, and just fucking take the chances that you can, and do it, and eventually one of them's gonna hit. And I promise you what fucking will. Okay, my last thing, this is what I'm gonna leave you all off on, because this podcast is long as fuck. Go to a local therapist or counselor or whoever. Like just start talking to them about your little friend issue and see if they have any ideas for what the fuck you could do.

Places you can go, events you could attend, just see because they're local. They'll know what's going on in the area. That's something my counselor helped me with. Like she thought of some new ideas of shit back in the day that helped me and it's just a new perspective It's new ideas, it's new thoughts and it's someone that's local So they know what the fuck is going on and they probably can give you some more insight Then I could because it's gonna be specific to your area So go see a fucking counselor or a therapist or whatever it is even if it's just once go in there and talk to them about one and to make friends

And ask them their ideas of what you could do How to do it and then just see where the fuck it leads But you got this I promise. I hope you take something away from this episode And I hope you feel a little bit more like ready and prepared to go meet some fucking friends bitch Cuz you got this like it's literally a numbers game. I promise you got this so much And if you're listening to me, you got personality. And even if you don't, just fucking copy some shit that I said and make people laugh.

If you like this podcast, I just have one request, and it's that you go leave me a five star rating. Thank you so much. If you wanna keep up with me, all of my social media will be linked in the description of this podcast. Also, if you are interested in one-on-one coaching with me, I have now created an application process, so it's no longer just free to schedule.

I'm doing applications now to keep up with the demand, because it's got too high, so now I'm screening people, basically to see who's a good fit and who's not. Because I want to work with action takers. I want to work with people that are serious about transforming their life, because the shit that I say, y'all know, that's what it's for. And where I specialize is with the people that have been looking for answers they can't find and the people that have been trying shit and it's just not working. I'm the person that those people can go to. So if you're interested in that, I will put the link to the application in the description box also. And I want to make it very clear that you've already got what it takes to get

through what you're dealing with or to improve your life or to reach your goals. And I'll help you see that. And it's going to be a lot easier when you got me in your corner, because that's exactly how I want it to feel. I want it to feel like you have someone that has your back and like, I'm in your corner, because that's what it I want it to feel. I want it to feel like you have someone that has your back and like I'm in your corner, because that's what it is. Like I'm there for you and I'm there to do shit with you. But anyways, thank you so much for listening. Please stay safe and take care of yourself

and I will talk to you next Sunday.