Aware & Aggravated - 63. Cures For Gym Anxiety

Episode Date: February 13, 2023

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Hi friends, so this week we're talking about gym anxiety and I'm gonna tell you all my tips and tricks And I'm gonna give you a couple mindset shifts and perspectives to take on so that you feel less anxious at the gym Because I remember what it's like to be new and I struggle with it for so fucking long So the way that I actually started getting into fitness was I was 14 and I was a fat little shit like I was just a little porky And I was too embarrassed and like shy to go to a gym And I was too embarrassed and like shy to go to a gym So I begged my dad to buy me the little workout program that you do at home called P90X It's not the best thing there is, but it's what got me started So for like six months. I just did P90X at home and just worked out from my fucking living room

I put on my little CD and fucking do what they did on the TV I had some weights and I just did my shit. After a while of doing that, after getting comfortable with my body and the way that I looked, and after getting comfortable with doing certain exercises and getting the form right, then I felt comfortable enough to go to a gym.

But there's so much anxiety around that shit. Like it just seems like such a big task to do. And I'm gonna tell you all the things that have helped me. So the way I kinda have this episode laid out is we're gonna Talk about all my like general confidence tips like just random shit You need to know and like shift in your mind so you feel more confident and then I'm gonna go through what to do if you're a Beginner so like my main steps that I would tell someone that's a beginner like newbie to the gym and newbie to working out I'm gonna give you like a rundown for that

But I'm gonna hit hit the applicable things to everybody at the beginning, and then we'll get to the beginners. But everything for the beginners is also applicable to every Josh Moe. So let's just jump into this shit, because I have a lot to say. So the first thing that's like a general tip and kind of like thing you need to realize

about going to the gym is the gym is the expected place for you to go to work on your body and to want to improve yourself. That is very much the obvious place to go to do that. You're not out of place if you want to go to a gym to look better. That's the expected place to go. When you're sick, you go with doctor. When you're hair done, you go to hair salon.

When you wear nails done, you go to nail salon. It's the expected place to go for the thing that you want to achieve So I just want to set that right in your mind first. You're not out of place. You're in the correct place You need to be okay, so I'm gonna walk you through what I do to feel confident like I was going to the gym So first things fucking first I pick a good ass song to walk into the gym too I'll be putting on my headphones and I put on a good ass song. Something that's gonna make me feel like fuck everything fuck everybody and my go-to song is Carlton by Suicide Boys. That song literally helps me tap into the side of me that's so fucking confident and don't give a shit about any single

person on earth. So that's tip one is pick a good ass song to walk into the gym too and it's nice to have some kind of like auditory distraction while you're walking in the gym and I love a good ass song to walk into the gym too and it's nice to have some kind of like auditory distraction while you're walking in the gym and I love a good song but sometimes I have to like put on something very intense and sometimes I have to put on something that's like a good beat to get me going you know just pick your fucking mood because sometimes I'd be walking into Lama Del Rey ready to fuck cry but the first thing I do when I get to the gym is I be lying straight for the treadmill. And the reason I do that is because when you're walking in somewhere and you know where you're going first, it gives you a second to like debrief. So I'll walk my ass straight to the treadmill,

straight to the cardio section and go get on a treadmill. And I will get on the treadmill for like 10 minutes and warm up and just walk. But when you're walking into the gym or walking into any kind of establishment, you already have that like hit of anxiety. It's like when you were in school and you were walking to class, it's like if you were the one that was late to class, everyone's fucking looking at you. That's how it feels to walk in the gym sometimes. So having somewhere to go and just walk in straight to the treadmill and getting on it allows me to kind of like decompress from like the Like what is it called like social anxiety trip of like oh the book So I'll literally just go get on the treadmill and then I people watch for 10 minutes like I warm up for 10 minutes

I pick a good song I get in the right headspace. I feel safe for a second because I'm not like on display like walking through the gym anymore I'm at my treadmill. I'm able to like and then I just people watch and I'll see who's on what I'll see what's busy. I'll think what am I gonna do first in the gym like what is my workout it's gonna be. A lot of people will go in with a game plan and have their workout already laid out for them. Good for you. I don't like to do that. I figure out what the fuck I want to do when I get there. I've been doing this long enough I can do that. But going in with a game plan of what you're gonna do helps. But just knowing that I'm walking straight in

and to the treadmill gives me a second to kind of like debrief. When you walk into the gym with no set place, you're gonna walk to first. You have this like panic and kind of anxiety of like walking in and you're looking for a machine to get on and you're like, eh, you're a little anxious.

Like some people have it really bad and some people don't. It gets better with time. But having a dedicated place, you know, you're walking to first. That's not going to be taken. Like if you have a certain machine in mind, mother fuckers will always be on it. As soon as you decide it in your mind, it's going to be taken. So I always go to the treadmill, but walking into the gym and just looking for a machine to jump on, you're not giving yourself time to decompress from like the stress you're feeling.

You're just trying to jump on a machine and you're going to be like, like, obnoxious and like nervous. So give yourself a second, walk on the treadmill, get on a fucking little electrical, get on a stairmaster, who gives a shit. 10 minutes to get your body warmed up is good. Because a lot of people just run right in the gym and start lifting. And if you don't warm your body up properly, you can get injured. Like it's a higher likelihood for injury.

So that's why I do that. But it's like there's so many reasons that I fucking get on my treadmill first. But the main thing is like, debrief people watch and decompress. And as you get your blood pumping with cardio or with anything, your body's gonna start releasing endorphins, so you're gonna start feeling better.

That's just a given, that's guaranteed. So on the days where you're like, oh, fuck it, I don't wanna go to the fucking gym. Or you're walking in a gym and you're real anxious and you're like, oh my god, I just wanna leave. As soon as you get your blood flowing, all that's gonna kinda go away and you're gonna start feeling good.

Just get your fucking heart rate up, get your blood pumping, and it's just gonna take care of itself, for the most part. The next thing I wanna say is around like your mindset, you don't stick out as bad as you think you do. I'm six foot seven when I walk into a fucking room people look I'm always on display. I've always been on this play my whole fucking life It's just how it fucking goes But you look a lot more normal than you think it took me a while to realize when people are looking at me It's not because like something's wrong or like they're looking at me to judge me.

I'm this giant fucking mammoth like walking into a room. I'm gonna pull people's attention. You know when a motherfucker's head almost hits the doorframe. It's like what the fuck? Like who's this? So I get that feeling very well. I deal with it every single day of my life. I always feel like I'm on the display. But what I want to reassure people who are like normal sized or even people that are my size is But what I want to reassure people who are like normal sized or even people that are my size is You don't stick out if you're walking into the gym and you have on normal gym clothes or a hoodie and sweatpants You fit in as long as you're not wearing like high heels to the gym or a fucking tutu People are not looking at you because you stick out like some douchebags in the gym literally wear sunglasses like please But I want to reassure you you don't look fucking weird

sunglasses like please, but I want to reassure you you don't look fucking weird. You look very much normal. And I want you to literally think about observing yourself walking to the gym. If you saw yourself walking the gym, do you look out of place? No. Do you look weird? Like I said, no, you're not in a fucking tutu. If you're dressed for the occasion, you look fine. Just walk your ass in and start working out. If you literally deduce what working is down, you're going to plan a couple little machines and do some movements. That's a big deal.

Like, it's actually like a funny little activity. Like, we all just go to the gym and pick things up and put them down. That's fucking funny. But with your outfit, I am going to say, put effort into what you're wearing if you're an anxious person or if you have any kind of nervousness around going to the gym. Not because you want to dress for anybody. Like if you're a girl, put on fucking makeup

if you want to. Put effort into your appearance. Put effort into your outfit because it's going to give you a feeling of boosted confidence. When you feel on, when you feel like you took a second to like make sure you look good before you left the house, like motherfuckers that just like wake up and throw on anything they see and then take off to the gym couldn't be me. I don't know how they fucking do it. It's not a god complex confidence. It's just delusion. Like you're so not aware that you're able to just do that. Like I used to look at people that didn't care about their appearance like, oh, they just don't give a fuck and they're truly confident.

No, girl, they're just unaware. But your appearance is a big part of things. And if you want to be taken serious, and if you want to feel good, look good. Like that's just something you can do to contribute to you feeling more comfortable. So, fucking do it. Don't let nobody make you feel bad if you want to go put makeup on before you go to the gym. Eat a fucking dick

Literally just cut this clip and send it to them or play it to them eat a fucking dick bitch If you want to wear makeup, we're fucking makeup. It's not for anybody It's for yourself to give yourself that feeling of confidence and like you've prepared the more you prepare for something And the more you get ready the more confident you will feel so apply that to your outfit and apply that to your looks and your appearance So when you walk into the gym you're not sitting here already anxious about going to the gym and also like oh my god I don't look right. I feel weird like that goes away It just alleviates a certain amount of stress from it. So fucking put some effort into your appearance Where's something cute and with that there are some days where I just do not

give a fuck and I don't wanna be seen. I feel like not good. So I'll literally just throw on a hoodie and sweatpants and hide basically. Like if I'm not gonna like show off my body or like show parts of me, I'm just gonna completely cover myself to fuck up. I'm just this fucking shadow, this black shadow,

cause I only wear black. I'm like, I'm just here to lift and work out. You don't need to see what's under here Like it just makes you feel hidden and it makes you feel good like if you're having a day where you don't feel good Just cover yourself to fuck up and go and with covering yourself up one thing I do to like boost my confidence because if you just go in with like some oversized shit You might feel a little like insecure So something that I do is I wear tight clothes Underneath my baggy shit. So if I'm wearing a hoodie, I'm wearing a wife-meeter underneath because feeling the tight,

like, clothing on my skin reminds me that like, we ain't fat, we little smatched. But having on tight clothes underneath baggy clothes will allow you to feel hidden, but also feel confident that you're not like some fat lazy like slob. Like I feel like just a bag of fucking skin if I just have loose clothes on like I like to be a little bit of a hoo I like to have some shit out So when I'm gonna hide all my skin I still want to feel tight and like good I don't want to just walk around and like oversized shit

You know like where's something underneath like I said for the way that you feel it will make you feel better And if you get to a point in the gym where you're feeling you got down stuff, you can take your hoodie off and show what you've been working on. You know? So the next thing I want to say is about people looking at you. People are not as concerned with what you're doing than you think. And I'm going to give you like the perfect explanation of this. Think about when you're at the gym.

When I'm at the gym, I'm literally so focused in my own world like trying to count my reps, count my sets, think of what I'm gonna do next, and then think of what song I'm gonna put on for my next set, like I'm playing on my phone, I'm picking my song, I'm like doing all these fucking things. And also, with lifting heavy weight, you have to get yourself in a certain mindset to do it. So if people look fucking mean or if people are looking at you like bad, they're probably in their own head trying to get theirself ready to lift. That's what I have to fucking do.

Like I have to think about some real fucked up shit to get ready to push some weight. So I walk around with a eat shit look on my fucking face. Am I mad at anybody? No, am I judging anybody? No, I'm trying to get my head right so I can do this fucking set. So I don't want you to look around the gym and think that people are just like mean

and mean mugging you and being rude to you. It's not personal. You don't know what the fuck they're trying to do to execute their workout. But do you think that me? Trying to fucking count my reps, count my sets, pick a song, and then get myself mentally in the headspace to lift the way I'm about to lift. Do you think I have time to also think about what Betty Bop is doing in the fucking corner?

No. If you look normal, my attention is not on you. Now, if some other fucker is over on the cables swinging from them like fucking Batman, or someone like Slam their weight really loud, I'm not gonna notice. Like, if I do see Batman swinging on the cables swinging from them like fucking Batman or someone like slams their weight really loud. I'm not gonna notice like if I do see Batman swinging on the fucking cables I'm literally just gonna be like look over and be like okay and go back to my shit because I have to stay focused for what I'm about to do So I just wanted to give you that Perspective because a lot of the times you're gonna think everybody is looking at you. Everybody is so invested up their own ass at the gym and you have to be to be able to have a good workout. Sorry, like that's just the way it goes. I love you but not everybody's worried about you. We're all worried about our own ass. Also with people looking at you, you get to assume what it means when

you see someone looking at you. So someone can just be looking at you. That is a neutral behavior for someone to glance over and look at you. So someone can just be looking at you. That is a neutral behavior for someone to glance over and look at you. That's neutral. What makes it positive or negative is the meaning you assign to it. So if you assume, oh, they're looking at me to make fun of me, you're gonna feel like it's a negative stare.

If you look at it like, oh, they're admiring me. It's gonna feel like a positive stare. You get to assign the meaning for when people look at you. So observe yourself and the meanings you assign to it when you get nervous that people are looking at you. People might be looking at you to admire you in the way you walk or like maybe you have good lips or like good hair and they're just like,

well, shit, maybe you carry yourself really well and they're looking at that. Maybe you're on a machine that they need and they're just like looking over and checking to see when you're going to be done. Also, people could be making fun of you in their own head. That's a possibility with people looking at you.

But there are so many other possibilities of why someone is looking at you at the gym than just to make fun of you. So if you only assign, like, oh, they're making fun of me, they're looking at me because I'm doing something wrong or they're judging me. If that's the only meaning that you cling to, the gym is gonna be a terrible fucking experience. So start noticing what you're assuming when you see someone

look at you and then entertain other possibilities. Are they actually looking at me to make fun of me? Do they like my shoes? I have cool shoes on. Are they looking at my shoes? Because I like my shoes? Are they looking at me because I'm cute? Are they looking at me because I'm ugly? What is it? You get to assign any meaning you want to it. And kind of piggybacking off that that if you're scared of people judging you Every single person in the gym. I don't care how good they look Started from the bottom Everybody looked like a wet fucking noodle when they first started at the gym every single one of us has looked like shit

At some point But anyone that's in the gym knows what it's like to come from the bottom and build up So a lot of people have felt the exact same way that you have a lot of people have felt anxious when they were small Go into the gym and they were looking up at the big guys Everybody's had that moment. So I want you to remember that I don't care how big tough and scary someone looks at the gym Just think of who they were when they were little. Like if you look at a big muscular dude, look, just think what he was when he was the wet little fucking noodle when he first started.

And it will immediately like take him off this pedestal that you put him on because he's muscular now. He's still a human, he's still had that experience. He's still started from the bottom. People will look at me and probably get stressed out. Motherfucker, I used to look like shit. I used to be fat as fuck. And then I used to be a twig like skinny

Girl it took me a while to get here and I know exactly what it's like to Be on the other end of it and everyone does everyone knows what it's like to go into the gym and be anxious and be nervous Because you're new and not know what the fuck to do and not know if your form looks right I want you to just remind yourself. They've been at the bottom too. They've been where I was. Some people get out of touch with that and some people act like fucking assholes. But then again, you don't know why someone is acting so like big for their bitches.

Maybe they're anxious too. Maybe that's their little coping mechanism for being anxious. Like you shut down when you're anxious. Other people might get overly boastful because they can't even hold Space for the insecurity or it will cripple them so they have to just swing to blind illusion of confidence Of I'm the best thing in the fucking world. I shit don't think a lot of people have to take on that attitude Like frat boys will do a couple push-ups and get a couple muscles and

They're the fucking biggest dude in the world over here fucking five foot eight People have to live in their own delusion everybody's just trying to accomplish their goals And everybody has to go about it and the way that works for them So even if someone is a fucking asshole you get to assign the meaning are they being an asshole to me? Are they being an asshole because they're a fucking asshole because I look like a fucking dick at the gym I look like a raging dickhead at the gym. I have the meanest look on my face I look like a raging dickhead at the gym. I have the meanest look on my face, but my typical coping mechanism when I get anxious

or worried or I'm dealing with allotmentally is my face just goes fucking mad. And I just like shut down and I go through the movements. I look like a motherfucker in the gym. Like I look so just annoyed, unhappy to be there, but I'm having to do what I have to do to get through it. Like my friend, Daniel, literally texted me the other day because he saw me walking through the gym

and I didn't say hi to him, I didn't see him. But he literally texted me and was like, yo, what's wrong? I didn't want to say hi to you, you looked like pissed off. And I was like, no, I'm just like dealing with a lot. Like my whole clothing launch, launch that, so you can that's what happened. Like I was just so anxious and so

many things were going on inside me. My outside just checked out and I just got laser focused. And he thought I was pissed off and I was like, no I'm fine, I'm just stressed. So you don't know why someone looks mean, you don't know why someone looks mad, you don't know why someone looks annoyed, it might just be their own little thing. And whenever I see someone at the gym, I always make it an effort to smile or be nice. And whenever I'm at the gym, like it happened today, I always watch out for people while they're lifting. I look like a mean motherfucker. I look unapproachable.

I don't like when people fuck with me while I'm working out. If you recognize me and you see me, count to me between a set and I don't mind. But when people see me at the gym, they don't know like my heart. You would have no clue that I care as much as I do about every single person that walks this earth. So I'm always watching out for everybody and this guy was benching a couple of benches down for me and all his friends were like talking shit and like keking in the corner and he like was trying

to bench and he couldn't get the weight up. Like he had to drop it on his chest and he was like looking at his friends, like help me and I walked over and I got it off of him and his friends were all like, oh shit thanks. Like people are looking out for you. People are not looking at you to judge you because you'd look at me and think that I was just someone annoyed motherfucker who's like too big

for his bitches. But really I'm just trying to get focused and get my head right but I'm still looking out for everybody and I didn't say anything to the guy. I literally just trying to get focused and get my head right, but I'm still looking out for everybody. And I didn't say anything to the guy. I literally just pulled it off of him, smiled, and then went back to my shit. Like it's not a big thing, but I want you to realize people are not as hateful as you think.

People are not as judgmental as you think. People might be looking out for you because I always am. I don't care if it's the newbie or the biggest guy in the gym. I look out for every way because everybody needs help. Everybody gets anxious. Everybody feels the same things. And that's where I want to say stop assuming people are not human. Also, every single person in the gym feels that same gym anxiety.

You would look at me and think, I don't, I do every single person you see. I don't care how good they look. I don't care how good they look, I don't care how big they are. Every single person feels that same anxiety that you feel. The only difference between you and us is we've tolerated it. We can deal with it and continue moving through the motions and continue moving toward our goals. All of us feel it.

So you get to choose what you're gonna do. You can still function if you're anxious. you get to choose what you're going to do. You can still function if you're anxious. You can still function if you're fearful. So you get to decide, okay, I'm anxious. All of us are. Don't single yourself out and convince yourself you're the only one that's scared of the gym and that gets anxious and that gets nervous. I've been going since I'm fucking 16. I'm 24 now. I still get anxious. I've learned to deal with it. I have so many ways of making myself feel better. And these are the things that I'm sharing,

but you're not different from anyone. We all share that. So I want you to kind of take motivation and inspiration from that. Like look around and understand every single person around you is a human being. We all feel the same shit. And you're not alone in the way that you feel.

If you just watch certain people, you can tell that they're anxious. Some people can't hide it well. Like they'll fidget or they'll do something. Just look around and start observing people's body language. And you'll see that so many more people are anxious and their body shows it. And make an effort to smile at them.

Make an effort to make them feel comfortable. Because that's what you want. And it's gonna make you feel more comfortable if you smile at somebody and they smile back, it's like boom, now you immediately feel like a sense of like, okay, we got each other. Like we're nice, it's like a friendly environment now. Motherfucker, just walk around and just like,

smile at people, you don't have to like, full like teeth smile. You can just like smile, throw a little smirk around and people will reciprocate it. And it just kind of like breaks down that energy of the gym. Like if you think everybody's judgmental and everybody's mean, start cracking smiles. Just like half smile at people when you walk by them or like do a little straight bro like what's up. And see how many people reciprocate and are nice to you. Everybody knows what it's like. Like I said, to start at the bottom and to be anxious. Everybody in the gym wants comfort.

Everybody in the gym is feeling the same shit. So I just really wanted to get that across, but you're not crazy, you're not weak, you're not a bitch, everybody feels it. Okay, this next section of my notes, I titled it Get Real. Because this is where I'm gonna hit you with some tough love, because you need to fucking hear it. I have to tell myself this all the time. Are you really going to back down from this?

Because you're a little anxious or you're a little scared or people might be looking at you? Are you really gonna back down? Are you really going to let the judgment of other people stop you? Get fucking real. Even if people are looking at you when you're at the gym. So what? And what about it? My catchphrase bitch and what about it? Even if I do look fucking stupid

when I'm doing a certain exercise. So what? So fucking what? It's not gonna stop me from doing it because I want to look a certain way. I'm doing what I need to do to look the way I want to look. What the fuck do I care what you have to say or what you think? Keep it to your god damn self. What the fuck do I care what you have to say or what you think? Keep it to your god damn self. And if people are sitting here judging you, give it time because your efforts are going to show the results.

So people might look at you like, oh, they look fucking stupid. And then a year later, you pop out looking 10 times better than them. Yeah, who looks stupid now, pretzel. That's why you all twisted and skinny and looking fucked up. I don't want to hear it. If you're going to the gym, you need to understand you're not there for other people. You're there for yourself. Like I said, you're going

to do a couple of movements. You're going to go lift some shit up and put it down because you want to look a certain way and lifting that weight will help you look that way. So go in and execute on what you know you need to do to hit the desired outcome for the way that you want to look. Fuck everybody else. Literally act like you're in your own world. I'd be going to the gym with my whole ass tripod and camera. You think I give a fuck? No, I used to get anxious about it. Now? No. What are you gonna fucking say? Please try and say some shit. Please, let's argue while I'm on camera because y'all have always seen me Please try and say some shit. Please, let's argue while I'm on camera

because y'all have always seen me talk about shit and talk shit. You ain't live in action, you got to see me dog cussing somebody the fuck out and I'm so excited for it to happen. Cause a lot of people talk a big game on social media. I'm with the shit bitch. And a lot of you know that.

That's why nobody tries me in real life. But what? What the fuck is somebody gonna say for me recording myself? That's why I get millions of views life. But what what the fuck is somebody gonna say for me recording myself? That's why I get millions of views on TikTok and you don't bitch. Shut the fuck up shut up. That's why I look better than you And what and what? Literally, it's like when I started my social media people were looking at me and judging me like I was fucking stupid and Two years later look where the fuck I'm at now. 1.2 million followers.

Look who looks stupid now. You just didn't know what I was doing. You didn't understand what I was doing to get to the goal that I had, and that's okay. People don't have to understand, and that should not stop you. They don't have to fucking get it. The only person that has to get it is you. The only person who has to execute is you. The only person that's gonna ever achieve your desires is you.

So if it doesn't make sense to others, so fuck and be it. Like when I do lap pull downs, I do a certain exercise where like, I'm, I do like normal lap pulls and then to hit a certain area of your back, I lean back like this. Well, I lay, I literally like lay flat like this and then I'll like pull the bar because it hits a different area of your back. And people look at me all the time Like I'm fucking crazy. I don't give a fuck who has a big back

me I literally saw Dallas Macarver do that exercise He's like a triple set one of the fuck it was with like three different movements with like leaning and shit And he looks huge I think he was like an Olympian or something, but homeboy looks good look 10 times better than me So of course I'm gonna take his fucking advice. Why would I not? I'm trying to look like that But people do not have to get what you're doing even if you look a god damn goof even if you look a mess Who cares literally who cares? They don't have to get it the only person has to get it Is me and you and I get it I get of it. And one more thing with that is

people who are experienced in the gym understand what certain movements do. So the only people who are actually judging me for doing lap pulldows laying flat are dumb motherfuckers who don't know what they're doing. They don't actually know how to work out. They just see one way of doing something and things. That's the right way People that are experienced get what I'm doing so the only people who are gonna judge you are fucking uneducated So I'm gonna throw that at you too Okay, so now I'm gonna give you a couple of tips if you have like an anxiety attack or you start panicking and how to walk yourself through Feeling anxious as fuck, okay?

This is what's helped me, the only fuck a day. But if you start getting worried or you get too in your head and you just get overwhelmed, you're like, oh my God, I just wanna fucking leave. Stop moving, stand still. And I want you to climb out of your head and kind of like observe your body

and observe what's going on at the gym. And like look at yourself from a third person's view. Ask yourself, what is happening? What the fuck's going on at the gym and like look at yourself from a third person's view. Ask yourself. What is happening? What the fuck's going on? Look at yourself like a third person. Okay, Leo is standing here getting ready to do squats. There's people around doing their exercises. Everyone's just working out in the gym. Does Leo look out of place? No. He's at the expected place to be doing squats It's not like you're at fucking Walmart doing goddamn squats You're in the gym where you're supposed to be you're in the squat rack. That's what you're supposed to be

Do you goddamn squats like if you start getting anxious just literally start listing off like what is happening? I'm feeling anxious. I'm standing here in the squat rack and I'm getting ready to do my next set But I feel so fucking anxious and I want to leave literally speak it to yourself in your mind What is going on and speak the situation at hand like just say what it is? I'm standing in the gym. I'm standing in the squat rack just fucking like I don't say verbally But like mentally mentally verbally think these thoughts like get situational bring it down earth, what is the scenario and what is the situation at hand and just start listing it because it will make you realize it's not a big fucking deal. You're literally okay, you are perfectly fine, you are not out of place, you're doing

exactly what you're supposed to be doing, you're feeling all these different things, but if you just look at it objectively, you look normal and you're doing everything fine. And then I want you to step in and start comforting yourself. So that's a skill a lot of people don't have. When they have a stimulus or they have something uncomfortable, they just run or they avoid it or they get away from it. Like a lot of people will get to the gym, get too overwhelmed and then never come back.

Or they'll leave, like girl, stand there in the stimulus and learn how to endure it. Comfort yourself through it. Think of all the perspective shifts I gave you in this. Put this episode on. I don't give a fuck. Do what you have to do to stay there. But do not let yourself fucking just leave because you're uncomfortable. Girl. Like I said before, get fucking real. And also with comforting yourself. Comfort yourself. Things I say to myself is like Leo, you're okay. You've got this, you don't look out of place,

you belong, you're fine. You know how you look, you don't look weird. Look at yourself in the mirror. Give yourself the reassurance right now. Do you look weird? No, do you know how to squat? Do you have proper form? Yes, literally look at yourself,

calm yourself down, reassure yourself, touch your neck, add something that I do a lot. Like I'll either like hold my own hand or I'll like touch my hands and I touch my neck because it comes down your central nervous system when you're stressed. It's like a little biological response. You're welcome. But I'll literally touch my neck and you're like Leo, you're okay. You've got this, nothing's wrong, you're feeling anxious. Totally fine, but the situation at hand is not bigger than you think it is You're okay. You've got this Okay, let's do it and then you like coach yourself and comfort yourself through it It really just comes down to grabbing yourself by the fucking nuts, dude

You just got to grow the fuck up and like grab yourself by the nuts Are you gonna live your life running from things that make you feel anxious? You'll never do anything. You'll never get anywhere. And I know that sucks to hear, but like wake the fuck up for a second. Like I'm saying this because I love you. I'm saying this because this is what I needed to hear.

Like me doing P90X for a year, had I just gone to the gym and lifted for real? I would have expedited my process. I would have looked 10 times better in that six months or however fucking long I did it. Like the six months that I was doing P90X, had I spent that time in the gym, I would have looked 10 times better. But oh, I was angst-shaked, so I just didn't- Oh my god, if I can go back and just smack the fuck out of myself, I would. Like wake up, kid. You got this. You're capable of so much more than you think.

You can handle it. and it's not gonna be Hard forever. You're gonna learn ways to deal with it. You're gonna learn ways to get through it It's gonna get more comfortable. You just have to sit in it until it does Don't run from it But if you do get overwhelmed and you do decide to leave this is where'm going to say you need to fucking choose it. And when I say choose it, this gets deeper than, oh, I'm just going to leave or not leave. This gets to living a powerless victim fucking mindset. And I don't ever want you to be in that. I want you to take control of your life and hold that fucking control. So what I want you to do

if you're going to leave the gym, put it in your hands. Literally say I can stay or I can choose to leave. And if you choose to leave, say to yourself, I am choosing to leave period. Do not fucking say, I can't do this. I'm overwhelmed. I'm scared. Ah, don't say any of that. I can't handle it. Do not fucking speak that over yourself. You are choosing not to handle it. You are choosing not to deal with yourself. You are choosing not to handle it. You are choosing not to deal with it. You are choosing not to rise to the occasion. So if you're going to do that, choose it, become aware of the choice, and then if you're still gonna leave, choose to leave. But don't speak no limiting shit over yourself. Well, I can't handle this, so I have to leave.

You don't have to leave. I'm choosing to leave because I'm overstimulated. That is more empowering than I just can't do it. I can't handle it and leaving. You see the difference? So I want you to full throttle. Fuck and choose that shit. If you're gonna leave, choose it. Don't convince yourself you can't handle it because you absolutely can.

That's fucking delusional thinking. And I'm gonna save you from it because that will do nothing but damage the shit. Out of yourself, concept and yourself trust Do not speak things like that over yourself Like I said this comes from a place of love and something that I wish someone would have told me a long time ago Because when you go home and you face the consequences of not working toward your goals You get to sit down and remind yourself well. I chose to leave the gym

the last four days and you're not going to be looking at it like oh my god I just couldn't do it like I'll try again tomorrow like and then for four days it's like oh you just convinced yourself you couldn't handle it you aren't strong enough you chose not to be strong enough you chose not to become strong enough you chose to not find ways to deal with it and continue forward but if you keep reminding yourself it's a choice so for the last four days I chose to go home because I was anxious. You're gonna get fed to fuck up with yourself

because the power is in your hands. You're gonna realize, okay, well I'm choosing to fuck up my goals. I'm choosing not to move forward. I'm choosing not to be consistent. And you're like, oh damn, it isn't my control. So I'm gonna choose to go back and I'm gonna choose to stay there this time.

And what's gonna happen? You're gonna learn the way through it the only way out is through remember that I'll be you but basically my whole little tangent about that is telling yourself you can't handle it is validation that you're weak you don't want to validate that I let yourself it's basically just you avoiding a situation that will make you stronger so don, don't do that. Okay, so now let's jump into all the things for beginners because I have a little list for you guys.

So, first thing is you're not expected to be skilled and look like you know what you're doing. No one expects you to be good at lifting. No one expects you to lift heavy. No one expects you to know what the fuck you're doing and have like good form. No one is expecting that of you. Your new bitch, it's unreasonable to expect that of yourself.

It's like if you've never swam before. You're expecting yourself just to jump in the water and look like a professional swimmer. That's not fucking realistic. You have to jump in the water and learn to swim so you don't drown first. Then you can work on perfecting your strokes. Then you can work on the form of a professional swimmer.

There is steps to it. You don't just walk in the gym a hundred percent confident even though you know don't know what the fuck you're doing and then all of a sudden just know what to do and know how to do everything there's a lot of steps between that so i just want to say you're not expected to be perfect you're not expected to be good yet and if you're not willing to not be good at something, you will not get good at anything. You have to be willing to suck and look new to look experienced. Does that the right words? Yeah, that makes sense. So the next thing I want to say for beginners is you're going to be anxious going in the gym.

And I'm going to give you an analogy of going to a fucking coffee shop. Just human behavior. When you're going into a building you've never been into before, or you've only been once and you're not really oriented with it, you're gonna be anxious. So like when you go into a new coffee shop

for the first time, every single human being is gonna get anxious. You don't know who's behind the door, you don't know what's behind the door, you don't know the layout, you don't know anything, it's an unknown thing. So every single human's body is gonna trigger anxiety. It's preparing for a threat in case there is one.

So it's not gonna be that crazy, but a lot of people get crippled by that. Like feeling of anxiety, but that's normal, babe. You're walking into an unknown place for the first time. Of course you're gonna be a little anxious. Same thing applies to the gym. But when you walk in a coffee shop,

what the fuck do you do you walk in and If you just stand there you look a weirdo you look out of place you look like what the fuck people are gonna Look at you if you just walk into a coffee shop and stand there or just play on your phone So like people that walk in the gym and just stand there or people that walk in the gym and just sit there on their phone People are looking at you like, huh? The expected thing to do when you walk into a coffee shop is walk up and get a coffee. That's what the baristas are expecting you to do. They're there to take your order.

They're expecting you to walk in and get a coffee if you're out of coffee shop. So the correct behavior to do is to walk up and get a coffee, stand there and wait for it, get it, and then drink it or go the fuck outside and go home. Like, that's the expected thing to do. When you walk into the gym, to work out is the expected thing to do. When you walk in and the desk people, the front desk people say hi to you.

Hi, like the expected thing to do when you go to the gym is to go work out. The expected thing at a coffee shop is to get a coffee. So go fuck and work out. You don't look weird. You don't look weird at all. And I wanna give you that reassurance. Like, it's weird to not work out.

So like I said, walking into a new place, you're gonna be anxious because you don't know your way around you don't know what it's like. So with going to a gym, if you're gonna sign up at a gym, go tour the gym. Go walk in and get a tour from the front desk people, go tour the gym, see if you like it, see if you like to vibe. And then before you ever work out at that gym, something I used to do a lot is if I started

at a new gym or started at a gym in general, I usually started at something that was 24 hours so I could scan a key and go in whenever I wanted, I would go really late at night, like midnight one o'clock because there's like two or three fucking weirdos that go at that time, but go in really fucking late one night and go look at the gym, go find out where everything is, go get oriented to the gym, find out where the bathrooms are, where the cubbies are, we can put your shit, find out where to buy a snack, and then look at all the machines,

figure out where all the machines are, gyms are typically set up, there's like a chest section, back legs, figure out where all the machines are. gyms are typically set up. There's like a chest section back legs. Figure out where all the machines are. And go play on all of them. Literally go play on all the fucking machines to get comfortable with using them. Like there's little pictures on most machines. Just look at them, follow the picture, learn how to move this seat around, learn how to adjust like everything about the machine and then play on everything on one. So you know where everything's at one, but two, you know how to use them.

So when you go into the gym the next day at a time when there's people there, you already know what the gym looks like. You already know where everything's at. You already know how to adjust and move all the seats. You already know how to use everything. You don't have to go through the fear of worrying about people looking at you and also not knowing what the fuck you're doing. You know what you're doing. And like I said, the more you prepare, the more confident you feel. So that's a really big tip that I have is like,

just go play on all the machines and go learn the gym before anyone's there. Like, just go in. It's really fucking late. Go finger fuck every day and go play on everything and like figure out how to use it. And it will make you so much more comfortable. The more time you spend in that location, the more comfortable you'll feel. So go spend time there when there's less pressure from like a lot of people being there also. So another tip that I have, if you have the money to do it, is hire a personal trainer for a month,

just one month. You don't need a trainer forever. Like literally hire a trainer and fucking use them for what they're worth Have them take you to the gym and teach you how to use everything You'll be working out with someone you'll learn exercises. You'll learn forms You'll learn what exercises go together. You'll learn how to do a arm day a leg day a back day a chest day You'll learn how to do all these days. You'll learn what proper sets look like. You'll learn what proper like amount of exercises are and you have kind of like a guide with you to help you through it all and people that will check your form. Like they're gonna help make sure you don't look stupid and that you're doing things properly. So get

a trainer for a month. It only takes a month to fucking learn everything max. You can learn that shit in two weeks. Just go consistent with the trainer, learn as much as you can, get comfortable with all of it, absorb all the knowledge, and then go on your fucking own. It's not that hard, but having the trainer for the first little bit is really, really helpful and it will calm a lot of your anxiety, it will teach you a lot because you can only learn so much before you start doing it. So like if you try and look up YouTube videos and look up shit online, sure you're learning a lot. You're consuming a lot. You're not actually learning how to execute and do things So by going with a trainer you'll be learning by doing so you're gonna learn by working out not by like research and shit

Like you should research things and learn the things that you want to learn for the things that you want to achieve But going with a trainer will help like Expand the process but also be researching on the back end and like, throw some shit in that you wanna do. But with that, look up exercises that you want to do at home. Like, look them up before you ever go to the gym and practice them. Literally, get in your bedroom

and fucking practice the exercises you wanna do. Get in the front of a mirror and practice. If you wanna learn how to do squats, look up videos about how to do a squat and then practice the movement in your room. If you wanna learn how to do squats, look up videos about how to do a squat, and then practice the movement in your room. If you wanna do a little kick back, if you wanna do a deadlift, whatever you wanna do, practice just the movement of the exercise that you wanna do

in your house or your safe alone, you're allowed to look stupid and not care. Learn the basic skills of how to execute these movements so that you're less anxious when you go to the gym. Like this will help you a ton. Just getting comfortable with certain movements before you go, like how I started with P90X, I learned how to do a lot of movements before I ever step foot in the gym, so when I went to the gym it was a lot easier. And then when you're at the gym, use the mirrors. Like the mirrors are there for you to look at you fucking self. Like who gives a fuck if people

see you looking at yourself in a mirror. Use the mirrors to check your form and correct yourself. If something feels off and it feels weird and you feel like you look awkward, look at yourself in the mirror. If you look fucking weird, fix what you're doing. Do something different. And check yourself so that you're more confident doing the exercises. You don't want to just nervously like, oh, just do something and like knock out the exercise

because then it's gonna be miserable and you're not gonna wanna do it. Look in the mirror, make sure you look right, change what you need to change, and then you won't be as hesitant to do the next few sets, you'll be excited. You'll be like, oh hell yeah, I got this. I like cute doing this one actually.

And then you'll like knock out some little tricep extensions. But literally, just use the mirrors to fix yourself. Use the mirrors to check yourself in your form and to reassure yourself, ooh, and then you'll like knock out some little tricep extensions. But literally, just use the mirrors to fix yourself. Use the mirrors to check yourself in your form and to reassure yourself, okay, if I feel like I look fucking weird, do I? Okay, no, I don't, I look fine, I'll keep doing it. If I do feel like I look weird and I do look fucking weird

because I looked in the mirror, then change it, fix it until you feel comfortable. So my next tip for beginners is going with a game plan. So if you are gonna go in by yourself, just go in with kind of like a game plan, like research and look up online, like some workouts and exercises you can do, and like little workout routines,

and go in with a list of exercises that you can do. Practice them before you go in, like I said. And then when you go to the gym, having some sort of game plan will make you feel better and like guided. So you'll feel a little bit more supported because you have something that you're doing. It's not like, oh, I'm just focusing on like,

what am I gonna do? You, it's already decided for you. You don't have to deal with making a decision. It's like, okay, I finished this thing. Now I go to this machine and then you go to it. Having a little game plan will alleviate a lot of anxiety and also if you follow someone's workout plan that looks really fucking good,

you're gonna feel more confident doing these exercises even if you look stupid because clearly it works. If they're how to fuck and they be doing the shit, here I go, I'ma be doing shit. But it makes it less about you. And you worrying that other people are judging you because you decided to do something. And it takes that away. And makes it like, okay, I'm doing the exercise because this is what someone so told me to do online that looks like a fucking model, like I'm gonna do that and it takes the pressure off you, kind of, because it's not your decision, it's there,

it's just like doing as you're told to look that way. So my last tip for beginners is stick with machines until you feel confident in the gym and you're comfortable with everything to go to like freeway movements. You can still get a really good workout with just machines. A lot of people do that, but don't let it stress you out. If going to do squats or going to use dumbbells or like a barbell is stressful to you, don't do it yet. Like I said, practice at home, practice your form, get comfortable just being in the gym at first. Go do your machines, have everything that's kind of like there to help you because you can look at the thing and read how to do it, literally stick to

the machines until you feel more comfortable, and then you can start branching out and trying other things, but something is better than nothing. So even if you go to the gym and only do machine exercises, something's better than nothing, and I'll talk about you. This was a lot of fucking gym tips. If these helped you, leave me a comment and let me know and leave this video a thumbs up. And if you're listening to the audio version of this, leave me a five-stose. And if you know anybody that also struggles with gym anxiety or a beginner and they want

to start working out, send them this video if you think it'll be helpful. But that's all I got for this episode. I hope you guys learned a lot and I hope you got the kick in the ass that you needed and I hope some of these perspective shifts will allow you to feel more comfortable. That was my goal behind all this. All of my social media and everywhere you can keep up with me will be in the description. If you're interested in getting my merch, I just restocked it a couple days ago and we're already at like a thousand and seventy orders. It's like a day and a half. I'm like, what the fuck?

So I don't know when it's gonna sell out, but the link for that will be in the description also. So go shop if you want something. And until next week, get your fucking ass in the gym bitch. You got this. You fucking got this. Just put this episode on and just listen to Why You're At The Gym. We could be like little gym friends, I'll just be in your ear yelling at you. But everybody take care of yourself, be safe, and I will talk to you guys next Sunday.