Bad Dates with Jameela Jamil - Shout Out To Your Slutty Mom (w/ Peyton Dix, Ilana Glazer, and Sabrina Brier)

Episode Date: July 8, 2024

On a brand new episode of Bad Dates, guest host Marie Faustin welcomes comedians Peyton Dix, Ilana Glazer, and Sabrina Brier to discuss their most iconic dating fiascos. In a previous flop era, Peyton named it but failed to claim it, Ilana’s whirlwind romance blows away during the sequel, and Sabrina’s masterclass gets a fast pass.If you’ve had a bad date you’d like to tell us about, our number is 984-265-3283, and our email is [e-mail], we can’t wait to hear all about it.Marie Faustin: @reeezy on social media, @whyare.yousingle on Insta for ticketsPeyton Dix: @peytondix on Insta, @homohoney0 on TikTok, Lemme Say This podcast with Hunter HarrisIlana Glazer: @ilana on social media, Babes movie in theaters nowSabrina Brier: @sabrinabrier on Insta, @sabrina.cinoman.brier on TikTok, pre-order new book That FriendSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Smart. Less. Media. I've never been a dating person where I had a dating season and I'm like, you know, like it feels like job interviews to me. Yeah. Where I'm a friend and lover person. I definitely like to hook up.

Say that. find sex. Find sex. You know what I mean? What a sexy group. I know. We look like a college brochure. Like we're like, we're a girl band. We are a girl band.

We're in liberal arts school boots. Yeah. Yeah. Sabrina, you're just saying like, you have that fucking mic. I'm like clutching it. Well, you're kind of doing that early 2000s clutch. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, is it working? Okay. A lot of times it's working. I'm going to keep doing it. Absolutely working. Let's okay. Let's do it. Let's do it. Hi everybody.

And welcome to another episode of Bad Dates with me, your host, Marie Froston. It's funny people talking about bad experiences that hopefully make you feel like, ah, my life is not that bad, you know? And when I say bad dates, I mean bad dates like, hmm, I thought by the time I finished that sentence, I would have one ready to go and I don't. We'll fix it in post.

When I say bad dates, I mean bad dates like the time my friend went, my friend went on a date with a man and he invited her back to his house and literally was looking at her like, what are you like 240 pounds? And my friend was like, no, I'm 218. And he was like, there's absolutely no way you are two 18. And he happened to have a scale at his house because he lived with his mother and she got on the scale and she was two 38.

So many things to unpack in that actually. There were like seven storylines here. First and foremost, utter violence. Yeah, we're going to kill him. Violence, yes. I want to literally murder. Yeah, but also only moms have scales. Yes, only moms love scales.

Yeah. The only exception is maybe like an aunt, like an aunt who also has a scale. But no uncles. Uncles don't have scales. Is it generational? Absolutely. Does anybody here have scale? No. Would never. I don't have any either Is it generational? Absolutely. Does anybody here have scale?

No. Would never. I don't have scale. I care about myself. No. Would never in my life ever. That's right. Only as a child did I use a scale. I like getting on scales because I feel like I'm getting thicker. So every time I see one, I'm like, do you want me to? Let's introduce our guest for today's episode.

The voices that you hear in the background are number one, we have comedian, actor, writer, producer and friend. Friend from Broad City and Babes, a movie that's out in theaters right now that I make a small teeny tiny cameo in. It's Alana Glazer. Hi, Alana. Hi, Marie. Thanks for having me. Thank you. I just I'm inviting you onto the pod because I want to hear mess. I'm trying to get into business.

Love. So thank you. So thank you for being here. My pleasure. Thank you. Up next, we have writer, social strategist and co-host of the New Wondery podcast. Let me say this. It's Peyton Dix. Hey, Peyton. Hi, babe. Thanks for having me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So excited to talk shit.

Yeah, I mean, if we were a girl group, you definitely have like the lower voice, the lower register. Thank you. I will say, I'm gonna come out as someone who has a really sexy voice. It's sexy. Truly, I was just gonna say it.

It's so sexy. I'm sorry. I'm like done pretending I don't think it's really sexy. Okay, fully adult. And you know what's like, it's also like saying it yourself and claiming it is so hot and was so hot. Okay, I just turned, this is a good date now.

We're all like, yeah, pay him. You opened your mouth and there was like a vibe shift. Yeah. Everyone sat up straight actually. Yeah. Actually, I'm a little bit aroused. Because I'm turned on, let's introduce our final guest on the pod today.

She's an actress, a comic from shows like Command Z and Abbott Elementary. It's Sabrina Breyer. Hi. Hello, thank you for having me. I feel like a lot of people complain about dating. I think that's the new trend is to complain out loud, but I like dating.

I enjoy it. I'm not gonna say that I enjoy every person I've been on a date with, but I like an excuse to get dressed and come home with a story or an STI. You know. One or two, just one or two, it's fine. I was just gonna say, I think the dressed up part is very real.

I end, to be honest, I think for me personally, I haven't really dated a ton recently, I would say. And I do think the fun part of going out and getting dressed up, it's like now I just like do that on TikTok. You know what I mean? Like I just get dressed up for my TikToks and it's more fun to get dressed up for my TikToks

because then there is so much more of a satisfying destination for that process rather than like a date where it's just one stupid person has seen what's been going on on the face. Right. You're like scaling up the results. You know what I mean? It's like you, you might get laid by an idiot or you could just have like,

whatever thousands of hearts. Yeah. Yeah. I'll take engagement anytime. Which is like safer. As we Yeah, engagement. Great engagement. I'll take engagement any time. Which is like safer. Which as we know, that's real love. That's real love. Bad Dates

Bad Dates Let's start with you, Peyton. Your story is titled Daddy Issues? Major Sle Light, yeah. Well, I do feel like I should preface this story by saying I'm a lesbian. So starting with that, I'm also a tourist Venus. So like my relationship with dating is very like I'm actually like locked up, wife down perpetually. I'm like, I'm going to be for the streets.

The streets don't call me. The streets say the lights are on, go home. Yeah, the four relationships call me that I'm like, I'm gonna be for the streets. The streets don't call me. The streets say the lights are on, go home. Yeah, the four year relationships call me that I'm like, wait, oh, we're married. What happened? You're a serial monogamous? Yeah, I'm taking five right now, but I'm working on it.

So this is a different version of me. And are you taking five to pause or are you like, it's just like happening and you're noticing it? I'm taking five to pause. Copy. During Pride. Ladies, I'm it? I'm taking five to pause. Copy. During Pride. Ladies, I'm saying ladies stop.

Taking five during Pride, so brave. Yeah, thank you. Everyone calm down. You're like, and how do I calm down? Line at the door. Calm down. Calm down. Yes.

This is so not my life. So this story, I'm just saying that because it's a very different self that we're moving through. I was, this is when I first, I didn't know, I wasn't even living in New York. I was spending a summer in New York doing at least three unpaid internships

and like four retail jobs. It was unbearable. Brag, poor, yeah. I was giving poor at the time. Poor brag. Poor brag. Yeah. I'm going to sit with that. I'm going to workshop that. I'm going to come back. But I was in New York and I was also kind of heterosexual at this time, dabbling in heterosexuality. And I was leaving an apartment of some guy I'd slept with on the Upper East Side. Okay. And so I was walking through this very wealthy neighborhood,

and this, I actually, I'm saying poor, and I'm about to say, and I had a Liquiteria in my hand. If you remember Liquiteria, RIP. I don't know what that is. It was like a $17 smoothie. Yes, smoothie chain. And that makes me sound like, it was just so, like I was spending money in a dumb way.

I had no money, I was running through credit card debt, but I was like, but I'll stop and get a Liquiteria. But I'm sorry, it did count, it did count as no money. I was running through credit card debt, but I was like, but I'll stop and get a Liquateria. But I'm sorry, it did count. It did count as a meal. It was not a Jamba Juice. Like they would put a nut butter in there. A nut butter.

It was actually really good. It was really good. I think they should come back, but I'm walking with my Liquateria down the street and this man jogs by me in like a Columbia hoodie. Older, older, older. Naturally, naturally. Yeah.

And he runs backwards. That was kind of hot. And he was like, what are you drinking? Which I think, first of all, like it says, like what are you a bitch? Like what? And so I'm realizing he's talking to me and it's kind of going long.

And I'm like, oh my God, he's flirting with me. And I- When you said he was jogging backwards, like, like in a rom-com, like facing you. Yeah, yeah, like backed up, we cross, whoa. Ch the tips of the night and said, I'm going to back up. OK, she's worth jogging for. That is confident. Yeah, that's where I get it from.

It's a man in a Columbia sweater. I didn't know men could do things like that. They shouldn't, actually, mostly. I don't think men should only run forward. That's not allowed, actually. But he I realize he's flirting with me and I totally shift my, I'm a young hot thing, my tits have never been higher.

And I'm fucking poor, let's do this. So I see he's wearing a Columbia, I'm doing the work, he's older, he's wearing a Columbia sweater. And I suddenly go, well, you're on the wrong side of the tracks, which is because Columbia's on the other side. Yeah,, which is because it's, you know, Columbia's on the other side. Yeah, I'm kind of a writer.

I don't know. So I say that and I'm locking in and he asked for my number and I give it to him. And later he asked me on a date to go to dinner. And the whole time I'm I've never been asked out by someone that much older than me before. How old are we talking here? I think like 50s. And at this point, I'm like maybe 21.

Wow. OK. Wow. I'm bragging so much. She has lived. She's naughty. I'm like, you know, I'm like, whoa. But almost like, hmm. Yeah. Right. Yeah. You guys follow up questions after this podcast.

But I call my friend and I'm like, I think this is like the time of my life that I become a sugar baby. Like it's all happening, like how kismet. And so we go to the dinner and I don't even really remember what we talked about or what I just remember kind of yapping and thinking I'm sounding so sexy, so cool,

he's so interested. Well, that voice. Me. The voice. The voice. I mean, you are, yeah. And he, after the dinner, we're taking a walk and I'm like kind of shaking, like I'm like,

this is it, like tap into your sex positive self. And, fuck me. Okay, I like so clearly like went to private school the way I did this, but he like sheltered down boots. It was horrible. He turns to me, tries to kiss me. And I go, I don't know if you can see me, I don't know

if this video is going to be recorded, but I put my I go... On his lips? No, no, like stop him. Literally. I'm shaking. My other hand is like trembling. And I go, uh, on his lips. I know. No, like stop him. Literally, literally. I'm shaking. My other hand is like trembling. And I go, that's going to cost you. Like, like so, like so dead ass, like with my chest. Like also this story is me being the problem, not him.

He was normal. He was fine. I'm the problem. And he's like, what? I'm like, yeah, that normally costs so. And the worst part is he's actually so, he was hot. He was a hot guy. I actually probably would have slept with him for free.

And I'm like, yeah, I'm giving, I mean, sex workers work, I'm giving, you know, I'm doing it. And he was like, oh, pats me on the back. And it was like, no. No. I was really hot then. Like I was, I'm still, and I couldn't, when I say threw up, like shit myself, cried being like, mm-hmm.

So that's what rejection in its truest form feels like. And then he got me a cab home and I went back to Bushwick. Now, let's unpack this briefly because I feel like the secret to getting a man to do anything for you, for example, give you money is to not ask. Right. Cause I'm like, you would have gained financial value

continually and increasingly. Right. Had it not been explicitly. He would have given you like a liquid tariff budget. This is a workshop. It was a coming of age moment. It's true. It's true.

You kind of had to make that mistake. Financial mistake. Yeah, financial mistake. No, you should have seen my credit card bill at the end of the summer. It was really diabolical. My parents were like, good luck. I know, but you had like pretty woman in your mind.

You know what I mean? And like, it was like, you're at that age where New York feels like a movie set and not like a, I don't know, apocalyptic hellscape or whatever. So, you know, I get it. I don't think anybody on Sex and the City ever asked for money.

But they should have. But they were in their 30s. They started at like 30 years old. They like had been there for years building their careers. But they were getting money, like, you know what I mean? Like, Well, oh, you mean they were gaining financial value without asking for it?

Oh, for sure. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. So, kind of in my flop era, at 21 it seems, but I tried. I'm a woman that tried actually, so, I don't know if everyone else would say. Kind of in my flop era, 21 it seems, but I tried. I'm a woman that tried actually, so. I don't know if everyone else would say. And I really appreciate that bold attempt and naming it, trying to name it, to claim it.

I really do appreciate it. And also when you're that young as a woman and you're like, why aren't I making money? I'm getting harassed on the street about my body. Why is no one paying me to be pretty? And truly, it's honestly because, like, sex work should be more accessible to people who are willing to sell it

because it is good work, because we're already abused all the fucking time for our beauty and bodies. I totally, like, attempted at times. So I, like, love little you for trying out. Think about all the men we've slept with for free. And why is that okay? And the other is.

I know I'm sending invoices after this call. When you said that's going to cost you, did he say how much? Did he say, huh? Like what? He literally just said, well, I don't even think he wanted me to pull out a number. And that was because he respected me. Because it would have been low. It would have been too low.

It would have been like bus fare. Like, it would have been like a monthly Metro pass. Like, that's what it would have been. I wouldn't be able to afford getting to my internship. Like, that was it. Like, but. Oh my God. Well, look, you can afford all of that now.

So, boop. Middle class brag. Yeah, there is. So. Bad Gates. Hey, y'all. It's your girl, Kiki Palmer, your favorite quadruple threat actor, singer, dancer, and my new role, podcaster.

My podcast, Baby This Is Kiki Palmer, is blowin' up, y'all, cause every episode I bring on an icon. Like when John Stamos and I talked about internet trolls hating on Disney adults, or when Jordan Peele explained why we love scary movies even though the world is already creepy as fuck. Tune in to learn a little and laugh a lot, cause your girl keeps it real.

Listen on Wondery Plus. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. Nancy's love story could have been ripped right out of the pages of one of her own novels. She was a romance mystery writer who happens to be married to a chef. But this story didn't end with a happily ever after. When I stepped into the kitchen, I could see that Chef Brophy was on the ground, and I heard somebody say, call 911.

As writers, we'd written our share of murder mysteries. So when suspicion turned to Dan's wife, Nancy, we weren't that surprised. The first person they'd look at would be the spouse. We understand that's usually the way they do it. But we began to wonder, had Nancy gotten so wrapped up in her own novels... There are murders in all of the books.

...that she was playing them out in real life? You can binge all episodes of Happily Never After, Dan and Nancy, early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus. -♪ BAD DATES. -♪ Alana, what's your bad date that you want to share with us today? -♪ BAD DATES. -♪ Okay, so like I stated, I've like, I don't think I've ever been on a date. Perhaps the first date I was on was the day I met my husband

and we like hooked up that night and then dated. Like literally never been on a date. Where did you meet your husband? For the girls who are single. We met in Washington Square Park. I've met people just like, I know. I lived there for six years. Not've met people just like, I know. I lived there for six years.

Not in the park but next to it. I find dating so narrow and being like high and horny, the vehicle for me and public spaces in New York have been really good to me. That's how I've met like a lot of people that I've had sex with. Yeah. Okay, soon as this podcast is over, I'm packing a lot of people that I've had sex with. Yeah. Um. Yeah.

Okay, soon as this podcast is over, I'm packing a bag and going to the park. And get a little bit high and just cross your legs, arms up on a manned beach. Oh, Alana, I'm always a little bit high. Yeah. I'm a little bit high right now. Yeah, you're halfway there.

Yeah. So to that point, like never been on a date, but my friend, I had a friend in comedy who was, speaking of sex workers work, she was like a comedian and stripper. She was like this groovy girl who had a groovy friend coming through town. And he was like this, we met and it like, we like locked in.

We were so into this. I had this romantic, like whirlwind 24 hours with this guy and her friend. And whatever, we gallivanted around town, saw the sights. It was like a New York little like 20 something romcom of like stinky stoners and shit. And we hooked up that night. and it was so good and fun. And he was so open and it was like just really chill.

And I was like, and then he was, so he was passing through this guy lived in California and was like passing through New York on his way to like a month in Europe. And so like the idea is so romantic. I'm like, you know, I'm like a comedy chimney sweep that like would never leave the scene until whatever I got all my homework done. So I'm like, wow, he's going to Europe like a work traveler.

And we like have this like romantic, whatever, 24 hours and great sex. And a month later, he comes back from Europe. And I was like, let's do it again. And I thought it was going to be a repeat of the same thing, but he had clearly like partied so much and was so burnt out and fried. And we sort of went through the motions to do the like checklist of what we had done the first time, but it was like vacuous and like unpleasant.

And it was like revisiting a place where you're like, I shouldn't have come back here. I should have let it be the thing that it was. And he like, it was kind of forced and it was like, we hooked up again, but it was like, I guess we just should but really what I should have done is be like you know what this isn't feeling right I think it was nice to see you again and see you next time but instead I just like sort of soldiered through you know mediocre sex a second time. It was mediocre the second time?

He didn't have any of the moves from the last time. He was so tired and had definitely done so many drugs and fucked so many people in Europe in that month that he came back like, I remember thinking of like a cigarette you put out, like that's like what the energy was. And it was like, don't, don't smoke that. You know what I mean? Don't smoke that. You know what I mean? Don't smoke that. Like, the first time he was like a juicy, delicious joint, maybe with a little tobacco

sprinkled, a little keif sprinkled on. This time it was like a cigarette that had been burnt out that I shouldn't have gotten with again, and the magic was gone. And I learned my lesson never to like... Never to spin the block. Never spin the block never spin the block just leave it where it is and I let it be actually it's a tragic story it's a story of loss is it a lot of ways genuinely you lost what you gained initially from the

first time right because it's like that magic would have actually sustained you as like remember that exactly exactly oh Yeah, yeah. Exactly. Ooh, yeah. And that's sort of like what had powered me was this like flow I'd never experienced where it's like, okay, like damn, there's energy here. We're riding this experience and we're physicalizing that experience

and having good sex. And yes, you're right, Sabrina. That would have like gotten me to the next whatever experience, but instead I feel like I lost even more than I had gained. It was net negative. I was in the red. I was in the red.

I spun the block and then ended up in the red. Yeah, but it's like, I think that as good as it was the first time, you probably still remember it better than it was. You know what I mean? The first time? Yes probably still remember it better than it was, you know what I mean? The first time? Yes. Yes, totally, like, right, right, giving it like an arc, like a first act break,

and then, you know, yes, like writing it in my head. It's got a filter in your mind, it's like. Uh-huh, uh-huh. And then you'd look back, it's like, actually you just went to dinner. Like it was just, I was like, what? Yeah, totally. In my mind, we were on a roller coaster at some point, and I don't think we were. We were in Coney Island, and it was just like, what? Yeah, totally. In my mind, we were on a roller coaster at some point

and I don't think we were. We were in Coney Island and it was crazy. And then we were like, and I knew we were in Queens, like it was just so. Yeah, he took you on a walking date, but you're like, oh, it was so good, the birds. Actually, you were in Williamsburg. Yeah, you were in Williamsburg.

You actually just, you actually walked down the street like you normally do, but you was there. But that is, I do feel though, that is like especially like early 20s, like sometimes those moments, those dating moments, it's so much more about the memory and so much more about the essence and the energy of it. And it's never good again, ever.

One time my mom was like, oh, where were you? Like a few years ago, where were you last night? Like, and I don't know what came over me that I like fully told her that I like met a boy at a bar and brought him to my apartment. And he was a stranger and like, it was, I was like, he went to Wesleyan, it's fine. But like that was my assessment.

Yeah, he went to Wesleyan. I was like, he's basically a girl. But then, and then my mom just like, not in like a slut shaming way, because like she would never, but it was more- Because she's a slut, your mom's a slut. Yeah, yeah, she was a big whore. That's what it is.

Good for her. She'll listen to this. I'm like, mom, I didn't say Alana did. Yeah, she's not cool and she's a slut and I love her. She's cool, she's cool. Shout out to your slutty wile. And also her last name is Cinnamon. So it's, you know, it's sexy. Her last name is Cinnamon. Oh, Cinnamon. She's like a drag queen. What?

Yeah, like Susan Cinnamon. That's her name. Okay, Susan Cinnamon is the tontest ever. Suzy Cinnamon. But, and I called her and I don't know what came over me, the confidence where I went. I like kind of tried to keep with her and then she just kind of went and usually she's dramatic and I'm like calm down. But I remember taking the L and being like, you know what? I'll take the L here. You're right.

Because she kind of went, I can't celebrate this with you. Like you like you were in your apartment. Like was your roommate there? I was like, no. It's like, did you take any protocols to be safe like no I was no you're right I'm gonna I was like you know what I shouldn't have told you that because I see why you're traumatized and you're actually not for once being dramatic and it's really just that you got to text a group of people what's happening yeah and where your location is yeah I don't share my location with

anybody because I'm always late so if I tell them I'm on my way I know that they and where your location is. Yeah, I don't share my location with anybody because I'm always late. So if I tell them I'm on my way, I know that they know that I'm home. Isn't that on your profile? If you're reading this, I'm 45 minutes late. And I am. That's so funny, Marie.

49? That's a little fucked. Yeah, that's fucked up. After 30, you gotta actually, I'm on their side after actually. Well, is there a side? I'm gonna get there and the vibes will be immaculate when I arrive. Time, time doesn't exist. Time moves really fast. Not when you're that beautiful. Time moves really fast in 2F.

Peyton, it's happening. We're finally being recognized for being very online. It's about damn time. I mean, it's hard work being this opinionated. And correct. You're such a Leo. All time. So if you're looking for a home for your worst opinions, if you're a hater first and

a lover of pop culture second, then join me, Hunter Harris, and me, Peyton Dix, the host of Wondry's newest podcast, Let Me Say This. As beacons of truth and connoisseurs of mess, we are scouring the depths of the internet so you don't have to. We're obviously talking about the biggest gossip and celebrity news. Like it's not a question of if Drake got his body done, but when. You are so messy for that, but we will be giving you the b-sides, don't you worry. The deep cuts, the niche, the obscure.

Like that one photo of Nicole Kidman after she finalized her divorce from Tom Cruise. Mother, a mother to many. Follow, let me say this, on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen to episodes everywhere on May 22nd or you can listen ad-free by joining Wondery Plus and the Wondery app on Apple Podcast.

Peyton, it's happening. We are finally being recognized for being very online. It's about damn time. I mean, it's hard work being this opinionated. And correct. You're such a Leo. All time. So if you're looking for a home for your worst opinions, if you're a hater first and

a lover of pop culture second, then join me, Hunter Harris, and me, Peyton Dix, the host of Wondry's newest podcast, Let Me Say This. As beacons of truth and connoisseurs of mess, we are scouring the depths of the internet so you don't have to. We're obviously talking about the biggest gossip and celebrity news. Like it's not a question of if Drake got his body done, but when. You are so messy for that, but we will be giving you the b-sides, don't you worry. The deep cuts, the niche, the obscure.

Like that one photo of Nicole Kidman after she finalized her divorce from Tom Cruise. Mother, a mother to many. Follow, let me say this on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen to episodes everywhere on May 22nd or you can listen ad free by joining Wondery Plus and the Wondery app on Apple Podcast. ["Fat Dates"] Sabrina, you have 13 minutes.

Can you imagine? Ready, set, fucking go. I like to take up space. I kind of was also doing that. I was like, hey, maybe like one where I'm kind of the bad day and like another picky where, you know, for interpretation though. We love a villain. You know, I know it's my this is my villain origin story.

But also in someone like about 10 years older than me. So Peyton and I are we're different. We move different over here. Yeah, we're really we're we're grown up. And I like met him in a bar in Greenpoint, which like again, it's like, well, I was saying it's like for some reason we like tell ourselves it's magic. It just because you're like angry and point like at the palace near the water. Yeah. Yeah. Whoa. Are you like, this is, or someone's like smoking

a cigarette and you're like, Oh my God, is this Europe? I'm in Berlin. Someone's going to Europe. And so it's like by association, somehow you were in Europe with that guy. But so basically like, you know, meet cute. And then it's like after a while of talking, it was like, you know, it was also like he was offline. So I'm like, he doesn't know about my internet persona. So like he likes the real me, which is like really easy to convince yourself of that. And I, and then after after chatting for a while, came across the realization that he also is into writing and production and I was like,

oh my God, not me finding a film boy without even trying, faded. We went, we texted for a month or something, we went on a date. A month or something, okay. I went to Florida, it was my bestie. I was with my, I know, why did it take so long, too? I don't know.

Why did it take so long? Here's the point, we went like, oh, he's so sweet, did a doll, went to Metrograph, saw a French film. Oh. Bitch. By the way, going to the movies on a first date, I'm paralyzed with like, you can hear me chewing on these Sour Patch Watermelon. Right?

Like it's not comfortable. I have dinner or movie, things like that. I don't find that comfortable physically for me. Like I feel so self-conscious. I'd rather have dinner than be in parallel. You know what I mean? I'd rather be looking at the person accounting for what's like taking data, gathering data, but like the movie, it's like what's happening? Yeah. Yeah. Movie is not a good first date.

No. It's like the classic, but it's it's not actually good. French Fam also like, what? Emily in Paris. He has he has an SDI. I don't trust this man already. He has blue sheets. Like, be careful. Blue sheet. Dark, dark blue sheets. We saw a French film. We saw a French film starring Lily Collins.

But so... What? French film? Sorry. I won't actually do that. That's amazing. OK, keep going. By the way, I've never been to Europe. Slay. But so... I have.

OK. It's real old. We hear. I've heard. So point being, the part of it so I have, okay. It's real old. We hear, we, I've heard. So point being the, the part of it that I think is funny, that makes me the bad day is that I took my whole, we're connecting as writers and in this industry thing too far in that afterward we're like getting a glass of wine and you know, you know, and it's funny because it's like, I feel like when we met at the bar again, that like comp of like, wow, like we met at the bar and the magic, and like, I'm talking to him about like my comedy

and my work and my dreams, and it's like, wow, look at this girl. But then like the reality of it, when we're actually like in a real way, sitting down and like intentionally having a conversation, and he's like telling me about how he, you know, he's like one of those people who like very much

like had a corporate job and had like the writer dreams. But, but definitely in my personal opinion had never like dove into actually like pursuing in a real way. Um, and was telling me about, Oh yeah, like my brother and I are like writing this project and you know, the ideas we want to like try to sell it to this person that but meanwhile, all I'm hearing is there are a lot of holes in this plan. Do you have representation? Do you like have attachments?

Maybe you shouldn't write a whole mini series on spec. I'm going girl boss. I'm going girl boss. Are you a vorigo or a Capricorn? I'm a Leo, but I definitely, I have that thing. I'm a Leo towards rising. Judge me. I like how you said Virgo or Capricorn, perfectionist workaholic.

I'm definitely workaholic. I'm a perfectionist about my work, not about anything else. But I'm also, I think I have like an intense passion for advice giving about the industry. I just like used, I was an assistant for a really long time in the trenches. So maybe that's why, like I'm very like, here, this industry will eat you alive. Here's how you handle it. Like I'm whatever. And so I can't have someone telling me about their process that I know is so wrong and not going to be a waste of time and not going to get them anywhere without going like, Hey, steering you this

like, right. And I, but I probably took it too far because I get manic, especially on that subject. And I was just like, totally. And you know, I was like, here's the thought, you know, what you really might want to try to do, you know, get into town. Like, and I'm like, I am being his agent. I am woman's planning. And you could just see the like, it fading for like the attraction, like fading from his eyes.

You're like, what you wanna do is take $20 and start at LLC. And then the LLC, you got a PPP, like girl. I'm like, have you ever thought about like an online presence? Cause that's really good for your branding. And that's a really great way to like jumpstart your career. Right. And meanwhile, it's like,

he was 10 years older than me. So I'm sure he really didn't want to hear it from me. Also like, you know, lesson of not, I mean, men, they don't want that. By the way guys, it turns out they don't, they don't want you to know what you're talking about. They don't certainly don't want you to know what you're talking. And I think too,

he maybe was probably coming from a place of like, was maybe typically surrounded by the kind of people who are going to be like, wow, you wrote that genius or like just like affirming, affirming, validating, raising you up. And I'm not that girl. I'm not that girl. I'm going to bring you back down here and I'm going to say, let's strategize. So then he ended up, yeah, he was like, I had like my big debut comedy show soon after him.

Like he was like, I want to, I want to go. And then of course, like didn't, and he didn't text me after the first date, which is a Cardinal sin. Yeah. And by the way, didn't say, by the thing I was most offended by, didn't say, did you get home? Okay.

Which again, you know, I could have, something could have happened to me on the way from the Lower East Side. Back in my family. Dad, he didn't care that you didn't get home? For all he knows, you never made it back. Exactly. And then he like ended up texting like way too little,

too late. And I said, the show sold out. Sorry, I couldn't get you a comp. Cause I didn't hear. Ooh. Wait, you don't sound like the villain to me at all. In fact, it sounds like you're doing a man a favor. Thank you so much.

I know I wouldn't. That he couldn't receive. Yeah, that's true. I was like, it was a gift that he couldn't receive. True. I know what you mean, and like, I appreciate the reflection. Sabrina, but what Peyton's saying is true.

It's true. I have a question. Had he already left his job to, quote unquote, pursue? Oh, he was never going to leave his job. This was like, oh, I'm going to do this on the weekends. I mean, I'm actually, I'm glad to hear that because I'm like, this would be, the stakes would be higher. Right. Like, stay in finance. He definitely should have taken your fucking advice. He could be a showrunner by now.

Maybe he'd have taken my advice. Bad Dates! Let people know where they can find you, what you have going on, where they can catch more of your fabulous fits and faces. We'll start with you, Alana, and then work our way this way. Um, I'm Alana on Instagram. Hahaha! You can check out my new movie, Babes, in theaters and somewhat soon.

Maybe I shouldn't say this, but it'll be available to buy or rent at home soon. But check out Babes. Yay. Peyton, where were you? What you doing? What's your ads? You can follow me on Instagram at Peyton Dix or on TikTok at homohoneyzero. It's inferred in the title. And then, oh, listen to Let Me Say This by Wondry, wherever you get your podcasts.

TM. And Sabrina, where can people catch you, you know, looking good in your good clothes? Oh, my God. Thank you. I Instagram, TikTok, Twitter, not calling it X. Good. And I preorder my audio book, guys. Guys out there.

I loved guys. What's it called, Sabrina? It's called That Friend, and it's pre-order is available now and it will be out in the world January 28th. I've never made a plug like that and I feel so corporate. I'm just gonna digest it. It was perfect. To have money and be able to keep world on January 28th. I've never made a plug like that and I feel so corporate. I'm just gonna digest it. It was perfect. It was perfect.

To have money and be able to keep doing what we're doing. So good on you for being on the show. Shout out to an LLC structure. Yeah. Thank you. And as always, I've been Marie Faustin. You can catch me live at Why Are You Single? Or you know, somewhere in a park, hi.

Looking for my romcom moment. Thank you guys for listening. Bye. Bad Dates is produced by Smartless Media and Wondery. Created by Robert Cohen. Executive producers are Robert Cohen and Stuart Bailey. Produced by Anne Harris and Devin Torrey Bryant. Engineered and edited by Devin Torrey Bryant and Kyle McGraw. Talent producer is Anne Harris. Associate producer is Maddie McCann. Executive producers are Will Arnett, Sean Hayes, and Jason Bateman.

Executive producers for Spartanist Media are Richard Corson and Bernie Kaminsky. Music by Kushy and Eben Schleder. If you've had a bad date, please share it with us at 984-265-3283 or write us at baddatespod at gmail.com. We would love to hear all about it. That's all for this week.

We'll be back next week for more. Bad Dates. Thank you. Smart. Less. Neon.