Bad Friends - A Bone To Pick With Bobby's Mom

Episode Date: September 25, 2023

Tour Tickets: https://badfriendspod.com Thank you to our Sponsors: Incogni, ZocDoc, Displate & BespokePost • The first 100 people to use code BADFRIENDS at the link below will get 60% off of Incogni: https://incogni.com/badfriends • Find and book top rated doctors at https://www.zocdoc.com/badfriends • Go to https://DISPLATE.COM/BADFRIENDS and use code BADFRIENDS at the checkout to get - 29% off for 1 to 2 Displates or 40% off for 3 and more Displates. Displate, collect your passions!  • Get a free Yeti Tumbler with code BADFRIENDS at https://www.birddogs.com/badfriends • GET 20% off 1st box of awesome at https://www.bespokepost.com code: BADFRIENDS Get MORE Bad Friends at our Patreon!! https://www.patreon.com/badfriends YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com 0:00 A Bone To Pick 5:34 An Incredible Woman 14:44 What Bobby Won't Do for Andrew 21:11 Interviewing Charlie Chaplin 30:22 The Clint Eastwood of Homeowners 42:0 The Bad Friends Curse 48:12 Santino On The Way Out 1:01:26 Old Ladies with Benedict Cumberbatch Eyes 1:09:29 The Tragic Past of Bobby's Mom More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger:  https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino  Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Juicy Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jetskijohnson/?hl=en More Fancy SOS VHS: https://www.youtube.com/@SOSVHS Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fancyb.1 More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/   Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod   Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom  Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: 7EQUIS https://www.7equis.net/ Podcast Producer: Andrés Rosende This episode contains paid promotion. #bobbylee #andrewsantino #badfriends Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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You two are bad friends. You are these two idiots. Woo, my dude, you're an Asian. You two are disgusting. Oh, you two are something. We're bad friends. Well, let me try to break down your bones. I would love to break your bones.

Let me say this, are you mad at Bobby, or you're holding a little grudge because you want to hurt a comb to your house because you have a crush on this girl? Bobby did it out of spite. Do you have a crush on this girl? No, I just had to eat the numbers up at the party. I love Angie.

You're just a friend with her. Well, great gal. She's a good comic. Good comic, good friend. This is all this stuff aside. You have a crush on her and your man that she went to dinner with Bobby. Yeah. He's got a crush.

Okay, so this is what it is. It's my turn to bone. It is your turn to bone. Bone, baby. How do you have a party and not invite your bosses. Wow, very, very interesting. I did invite you.

You're done talking right now. Your bone is over. You already picked your bone, buddy. Bones picked. Bones picked, kiddo. Go ahead, Bob. I already said it. Dude, dude, yeah.

I did the hand thing and everything. Oh, I like the hand. Right, right. What I'm saying is that Angie goes, oh yeah, I'm going to go to McCone's party. Do you want to go? And I go keep the hands up. I go, there's no way that the kid

that I brought into my family had a party. Yeah, party at his house. He's even fucking invited his bosses. Interesting move. Interesting move. It's beyond interesting. It's deception. It's shadow Interesting move. Interesting move. It's beyond interesting. It's deception. It's shadow play.

It's evil. It's dark. It's voodoo. It's Cambodian. Back in the 60s, though, back, you know, it is Cambodian 60s. When you pull pot was doing it, it's dark. Yes.

I agree. No. No, no, no. You don't get to speak. Also. How was the party? Don't speak. And also, can I say something?

I would have gone. Oh yeah, I would have gone. When you have gone? I love to get invited to party. Because when I went to the party store, we had party, we got the little cone party hat. And I got the blue. Yeah, we got all of it.

We're just waiting for the call, bud. But this is interesting. He doesn't invite us. How, by the way, how do you throw a party in a tent off the off Santa Monica Boulevard? How do you throw a party in a tent? You, well, you, you have to bring your own tent. You have to bring your own stuff?

Yeah, you bring your own beer and stuff. I mean, you're gonna take it. B-Y-O-T, bring your own tent. And I'll say this, I just realized, Bobby, this is why we're best friends. I was angry at McCone, other stuff. Now I'm angry because he didn't invite his bosses to his house party.

He didn't think about us, didn't consider us. Carlos, did you get an invite? Oh, yeah. Are you being real? Yeah, I got an invite. Now I have to teach you a lesson. Yeah, you do. I have to teach you a lesson.

Yeah, you do. What I'm gonna do, what we're gonna do? Log in. We're gonna have a bad friend's party. A huge party. A huge party. And I promise you, bud, you're not invited. And if I see you there, your bones are going to be broken. He's going to break your bone bone to pick bone

broken. I didn't go to the party though. I know you did. And that's why it was on a respect for us and out of loyalty. And you're a comrade. Pete, did you go to the party? I did not. Yes. Thank you. He was, he was invited. Yep, everybody but us. Interesting move, interesting move. The good news is, bones been picked. Yeah. The bad news is, McCone's gonna get docked pay for the next three months.

Yeah, that's fine. You're not gonna be laughing, bud. You're not gonna be laughing. You think that, this is all jokes? You think this is a game? Fun and play, no, it's not. This is a real deal. Because one the

fucking war begins. There will be an apocalypse. There will be blood. Right. And there will be an alien invasion or there will be a zombie thing or something. You're not going to come into the compound. Nope. You're going to be out there. And you know, you're going to be, you know, what you're going to be doing. You're going to be one of those zombies that would cut your legs and arms off. Oh, I love that. And you're gonna be strapped your neck right to a little fucking room. And guess what's gonna happen, you dude?

We're gonna let the dogs get, yeah. Yep. But not sexually, dude. I mean, yes, sexually, I mean. What, I don't know what I'm talking about. I think sexually is right. I think we're gonna let the dogs get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's pretty good. What, what, what, what, what? That's the one, Carlos. He, what, what, what, what was that face, what? I just imagine dogs penetrating my own end. But he's a zombie, it doesn't matter. Oh, that's right. Yeah, that's true.

No, but here's the deal. Oh, maybe cut that part out of me. No, no, leave that in. I want dog, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, guys, listen, I'm a professional podcaster. You're trying, but sometimes I say things, and they don't make sense. Here's the deal, I want McCone to be sexually assaulted by dogs. Thank you, it does make sense when they say it.

Of course, and the whole time while he's trapped in the room being assaulted by German shepherds, we're gonna play Who Let The Dogs Out on Loop. Who Let The Dogs Out? Who? And he has to do that part, he has to go, who, who, who, who, who, who? While they assault you

Yeah, and that's your punishment And you won't be laughing pal. I hope the party was a bus did get break broken up by the cops No, apparently there was a lot of people there. I heard yeah, well, it was you know why six people are because your bosses weren't invited right six We had about 20 on the roof at one point. Oh 20 on the roof well, there no, there's otherwise there in his bedroom. What is the studio 54? It's well, it's a studio apartment that's about 54 square feet.

It was like Woodstock, huh? Woodstock, 23. 20 people, what the fuck? This is gonna be McCone by the way, show him a clip of this woman. There's a woman I found on TikTok. On TikTok, you have to see this woman. No arms, no legs.

This one, this how bad as this woman is her TikTok handle I saw is called no limbs, which is dope that she's just, she's going right into the fire. You know what the craziest part is? She's trans. Look at that guy just kick her. That's her husband. Just kick her to the ground. That's her husband. That's her husband. Kick her to the ground. Wow. They do this stuff all the time. He throws her in the pool. Oh, does he really? Yeah, here's the wildest shit, Bob. She's trans. She was born with no arms, no legs. No arms, no legs. She's real.

She is? There's no way. Look at the top. It says trans. Look at the very top. Look, trans, right there. Right there. Look at, she has a trans flag right in her profile. Oh, yeah. He talks about it the whole time.

She's born no arms, no legs, and she cut off the one thing God did give her, though. That's... She's dope no arms no legs and she cut off the one thing God did give her though, that's. She's dope though. I like I've been watching her stuff. I showed this clip to my wife. Yeah. And I said, look at how quickly she does makeup. She has no arms and no legs. Get ready a little bit faster when we go out. Please. No arms no legs. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Reach out see if she'll come on the show. I mean, if she, she, look at, she's hilarious. Yeah, yeah.

She, she's got, her TikTok is so fucking funny, dude. I love watching it. When she, when she listens like, Aerosmith, walk this way. Did she, if it might go, roll this way, roll this way? What if we make her a playlist when she comes of all songs? Like they're like, walking in LA, walking in LA. Nobody walks in. Carlos, is she your kind of, that's your kind of lady,

though, you did say she's hot. You think you, this is what you're kind of into? With makeup, she's not bad looking at all. I feel like she has a great personality in sense. What do you mean with makeup? Without makeup, you say no? No, look at you, you think you're fucking Brad Pitt? Came out wrong, my bad, my bad, I think.

Jesus. I think she has a great personality and I'd be lucky to be with this trans. bless and you're right you would I see you got some new ice on your neck by the way Oh, yeah, it's good luck. Are you gonna move to Texas? No, I just wrap it. Okay. Yeah, I just wrap it I know but if that was your wife or you know, and you're on the Titanic You know quickly you could throw her on the boat. You'd throw her right in the boat. No one would even see it. Maybe I'll save you.

I mean, it's just one of those things. It's like, this is just a whole thing. Go ahead. I mean, let me go ahead. I mean, the good thing. Look, they're having a nice down. And then you would have to like, you know what I mean? Put it on.

I don't know what you do. Carry. No, our user is a booey. Is she like the door that Jack floats on at the end of that? I don't know what you do you carry no user as a buoy Is she like the door the jack floats on at the end of that you just load on yeah That's insane. Anyway, is that her to yeah, she's the shit. Oh, she oh, oh, you're right. She's trans She said she was gonna you right. Oh, you're right. This is great. Let's go back to her Also, she was born that way she was born no no arms and no legs her fucking a cut a nom Yeah, she went to numb.

Yeah, no, she did. No, she did. No, she did. That's a storm. Yeah, she went to, she do, she's like 20 something years old. You mean, she could have gone into like, maybe Afghanistan. You know those like bomb specialists when they put the suit? Oh, like hurt locker.

Heart locker, hurt locker. It's major kudos to this woman for fucking going into the fire of the internet and going no limbs is her fucking profile and making jokes and then letting her husband, they do a game with pillows. There's a funny thing where they can't guess a word. They hit each other with a pillow. She uses her mouth to whip the pillow.

He fucking cracks her as hard as he can with a pillow. She goes flying into the fireplace. Yeah, that would do. I would do that too. Yeah, you don't hold back. Okay, let's just, you know, let's move on I'll be I what else is there to say I'm impressed. I think it's what else is there to say I'm impressed. I'm impressed too. And she's the captain of her kickball team

Stop Yeah, how amazing is this no limbs and she can swim swim. How embarrassed would you be if you couldn't swim? Mm. She's no limbs and she can still swim. That's amazing. Whoa. That's awesome. Yeah.

Pete. Can I be honest with you though? Go on. That's what this show is for. When he's at a public loophole like that. When she's at a public loophole. See, I'm at my bike, right? No disrespect. No disrespect.

No disrespect. There should be a sign. They should put a sign down, I'm here. Just say, Limless, Limless person here. There's a margin! No, because imagine a kid, he doesn't know that she's there. What if she was a lifeguard? Oh, dude.

What if it's a sign that? Oh, dude. What if it said, what if there was a sign that said, yeah, she can swim. What if it said, a limeless lifeguard on duty? Yeah. L-L-L-O-D. Yeah. Limeless lifeguard on duty.

That's what you know what? Can I say something? If she saved you from drowning? Oh, fuck it. Oh, fuck it. Oh, fuck it. She couldn't do chest compressions for CPR, but she could blow into your mouth.

She'd head about your chest. Well, if I'm on the bottom, like I'm drowning, I'm on the bottom of the pool. Yeah. She, you know, I mean, she does a, I get, I get a, I get a, eel. Yeah. Well, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no butterfly? Or not, yeah. No, it's, press. The cat, she can do butterfly, I can't do any of that. Well, no, what's the butterfly? Well, what's the butterfly without wings? What? A caterpillar.

She does the caterpillar. Oh, she does the caterpillar. Okay, good, caterpillar. She does the water caterpillar. Underwater. They have underwater snakes. Uh-oh, a sneeze snake. A sneeze snake.

A sneeze snake. A sneeze snake. Yeah, yeah. Right, so she would go down to the bottom and grab you by your hair? She can bite, she, she can bite. No, she has her teeth. No, no, I'm saying she's biting, she was go down to the bottom and grab you by your hair. She can bite. She can bite I know she has her teeth. No, no, I'm saying she's biting she was biting stuff to get stuff done before so she must use her teeth for almost everything Mm. I love it. I love it too

But you know what's great about it is that she she's able to make a living off of it Prop looking how many followers she has probably she's probably killing I think it's four million holy moly How many is that that's money in her pocket? 4.2 million followers, right?'s money in her pocket. Four point two million. Oh, the final. I love that. Me too, fuck yeah. Can I ask you a question?

Please. When she was the heavy, is she just a, or a or a halo? I don't know. I mean, does she have wings? No. Does she get them a bat like this? God goat. Here you go. I forgot to add these.

Oh. Oh. You're a man. So in the afterlife. Yeah, thanks. Thanks. What if she hates it? It straps it back on.

What if she's- You forgot? God, thanks. Right? I don't know. Maybe she's thriving. She was skating in one of those clips. She skates. No, she doesn't. Dude show the guy, there's a professional skateboarder that has no legs

that skates. Show the guy, no legs skateboarder. Have you seen this fucking guy? I've seen him. Yeah. He's incredible. Yeah, but can I, but before you even do that, he has arms. Yeah, but you can't do it without arms. If you have a homie there with you, that can start you up. You just push it with your foot? Yeah, you could kick push, Doug. Okay. Just kick pushing.

It's just amazing. This is what's his name? Italo Romani. Italo Romani. I've seen him before. He's great. He fucking rips this guy. Look at this.

Dropping in on a half way. Wow, that's incredible. Look at that. A little big spin. Incredible. Fucking rips. Wow, that's incredible. Look at that, little big spin. Incredible. Fucking rips. It rips, dude. Yeah, you have to be able to push. He's cute, too. Look at his face.

Yeah, he's the fucking, look at his forearms, by the way. Amazing. I think there was one clip of him, uh-oh. I see him backflips in the ocean. Amazing. Look at how jacked he is. I have a question about him, too. Yeah.

Be honest. Does he, can you get on the right at Magic Mountain? No way. You don't think he can. If you hold him up in line, if you have to walk, when you walk to the height sign, you do. He has to still go do this height thing or no. I feel like it's such a, let me look at this.

How about this? Here's what you would do. I don't know why I would think of that. You would just put on pants that are just hanging down and you'd hold him so it looks like his, yes, so you're like his homie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I see. That'd be the way to do it.

Or you could just strap him onto your stomach and go, he's my baby. No, what do you say? No, we're, we're what? We're, Simon, he's, oh, we're conjoined. Yeah, but he's the kind that goes out of the stomach. Sure. They wouldn't know. And then could you ride with him like that? I imagine they might have to let you.

Yeah, yeah, but the bar wouldn't be able to go, because they don't hide, they don't do hide this way. But how do I, I mean, the're right. You're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. I think you're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right.

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You get oh, they put you in a device. Yes, you got to have to transfer you from a wheelchair to a device Like they they're on these rides a guy has to like carry you onto the vehicle. Right. All right. But it's like the special handicap part. Be honest with me. Yeah.

Okay, I'll be honest with you. If at some point in my life I lost my legs, would you carry me and do that, carry me to places? Most of my weight is on my bottom half. I got a big, big push, you've seen it. You know, I'll be honest with you. What I would do before I did that was I would make some phone calls. Well, where the hood to did that was I would make some phone calls.

Well, where the hood to? I just would do some Japanese scientists or something. Like, just people I know that, okay, what's the state of the art stuff you have? Who can fix me? Yeah, like, no, I mean stuff that, like, you know, that's not even on the market. Oh, you want like the fucking off-menu shit? Yeah, I want it, I want it, I want it, I love you, so I just, you know, I would never carry you.

That's what it is. I don know, I would never carry you. I think I would never carry you. That's what it is. I don't think I would ever carry you. But like I would first call and go, what's the future shit? They got it right now. Like a million dollar man. I'll see that stuff.

Japanese robot suit. Yeah, I'll get you that. God damn Japanese are so good. They're the fucking greatest. Look at them. What haven't they thought of? Look at that. So that's helping paralyze people walk.

That's a fucking amazing. That's amazing dude. Damn Japanese did it again. He did it again. He did it again. He did it again dude. He's carrying, see that's could be you in my robot legs carrying the upstairs.

This could be us, but you plan. Yeah, I'm not gonna do that man. It's all good. Would you do it for me? 100% you know I would. I think it would. That's what makes me mad. No what makes me mad?

I'm with a camera. No fuck you. What are you doing? You will never fucking care around you. Fuck you dude. Pull the guys. Would I do it for Bobby Pete vote? Yes or no?

No be honest though. He is. Uh, he's never here. I would say for a day. Okay. For a day. Thank you. Peace never here, but I will take the yes for a day.

Carlos. I think Andrew Wood. Thank you Carlos. McCone will take the yes for a day. Carlos. I think Andrew Wood. Thank you, Carlos. McCone. For the rest of my life. Yeah. I actually think so. I would call.

Okay, let me make an argument, Carlos, right? What is he ever here? Who are you talking about? You. I fucking live here. I know you're always somewhere, Paris, Hawaii, and a false tournament somewhere. Then you would come with me.

You would come with me. Somewhere. You would come with me. No, you wouldn't invite me, dude. I would love to. If I be now when you have your fancy fucking friend party, and you know why? Because of this kind of stuff, you're overreacting.

I can't have this happen in front of fucking Jason Momoa. When Momoa and I are whittling a canoe, I can't have this kind of behavior go down, but you know what I'm saying He's never here, dude. So what I'm gonna end up doing is call ring ring. Oh dude. I'm in fucking Mazatlan Where's that love Mazatlan? Yeah, I'm in Mazatlan. I go okay. What are you back? Oh? August America. I think you would do it. Thank you. If he's in town, maybe one time a month. That's more than you.

That's more than you. That's a lot. Because I'm being honest with you. I'm being completely and utterly honest with you. I would dedicate it one day a week to you when I'm in town. And you wouldn't get a single date for me. That's fine. That's the relationship that we have.

But you know what I would do? I would call Japanese people. I would pay for the finest equipment. Okay. Right? And I would hook it all up. I'll call Lex Friedman. Let's figure this out. Right? You would never fucking call for me to. No, because I would just do the labor myself. We're just two different times, say, guys.

Yeah, but it's the same thing. No, no. I'm going to dig the car. Mine is just as good as yours. Sure. I'm not devaluing you. I'm just saying, I would carry you. I already said I wouldn't approve that I would. And I would buy you the future shit. Okay, fine, this is it.

You show your love languages buying gifts, and mine is doing physical support. That's up now. Now we're getting somewhere. Your love languages here. Yeah. And mine is I'm gonna do for you. Now we're, yeah, it's gifts.

That's my love language to you. And what? What is it, acts of service? Acts of service. Yes, that's my love. Look at that. That's all that is, is 4700. I's my love language to you. Hey, my, what? What is it, Pete? Axe of service. Axe of service. Yes, that's my look at that. Look at that. That is awesome.

That's all that is is $4,700. I thought that would be so much money for some reason. I thought it'd be like $50 grand. Look at that thing. You can't carry heavy shit with it. It's awesome. Can we buy one of those for the show just for fun? Yeah, we should do it.

Just in case something happens and one of us loses limbs. Or you know what we could do? Put Brad Williams in it. I don't think you need this for that. Well, yeah, he's taller. He would be taller. Well, him and that, I see what you're saying. I tell you what,

I mean, that's another thing they should come up with. Stilts, mechanical stilts. For little people? Don't they have that already? I don't think so. Well, he's got those extenders on his car for his pedals. But it'd be weird if he had long legs and cysts, still his little arms, you know what I mean?

That would be weird. Oh, yeah, these are just They're not mechanical, right? That's just a step in that man's house. That's a step stool. Jesus Christ Carlos. No, they don't have it They don't have it. I went looking I went looking for a house today when house shopping nice not gonna not gonna get it why? We didn't like it because the woman showing it. Oh yeah, that's a big thing. Yeah, I love the house. And then she, you know,

what was she flaky? This is a little Asian girl and I just, I was like, no chance. I can't buy from an Asian. No, we just, no, the house didn't, no, it just wasn't right. We don't know, we're gonna, we don't know. We're gonna bulldoze our house and just leave.

Oh really? I think I'm gonna light my house. I think I'm gonna set it on fire. I'm dead serious, collect the insurance and get out't know. We're gonna bulldoze our house and just leave. Oh, really? I think I'm gonna light my house. I like your house. I think I'm gonna set it on fire. I'm dead serious, collect the insurance and get out of town. Yeah, we mean, we mean Collette, we're looking for houses.

We went to a house and we had this old black man as a realtor. And your business manager? No, no, no. And he was walking backwards so on this side. You know what I mean? We have a new fireplace, but there was a step, like two steps, but he was walking backwards and he fell on his back

and he didn't move. It mean color was just like, okay, thank you. Get in the car, get in the car, get in the car. It was so weird. He could still be there right now. This is just skeleton. Tell me this, if you knew for a fact, somebody died in the house, would you still buy it?

Well, you know, I used to live on 1055, not 10, yeah, sandborn. Yeah, on sandborn. Yeah, on sandborn. And that brick building that lived in, you know, Charlie Chaplin. Yeah, I remember. He used to have it owned in the Sainas Island there?

No, it was a, what? I thought it was a halfway house. It was in the Sainas Island at one point. Wait, really? Yeah. I thought it was for drug addicts. This is the stainless sound at one point. Wait, really? Yeah. I thought it was for drug addicts. This is what I heard. And then when I moved in, they were like,

yes, see on that floor right there. Some kid killed himself, jumped off that floor. And those were the two things. So late at night, I could hear, you know what I mean? But Charlie's a little. That's Charlie's chapter. Well, yeah. That is dope. Imagine Charlie saw someone kill himself, but Charlie Charlie Charlie's a little. Oh, yeah

Imagine Charlie saw someone kill himself, but he's from the silent film. I mean he he couldn't say anything. That's right. All right, so many jumps and Charlie's like Yeah, imagine here. This is me trying to communicate to the cops. Somebody. You're so funny today ready You're the cops you're the cops show up on the murder scene at Charlie Chaplin's house and I'm him. All right. What do I do? I run. Hi, oh, Mr. Chaplin. I'm a huge. I, yeah, so. So, um, yeah, so there's a young man's bar in the front. Can you tell me?

Can you tell me what happened? Yeah. Uh, you walked up the stairs. Yeah. Wait, wait, he's, he's praying or he's crying. Oh, he jumps off. There's blood squirting out with something. Wow. Wow. You know, did you, you were doing a great mind. I would have mined myself into the top. See if I'm doing it. Yeah, go. Right, okay, let me see. I think a great mind, you could see what they're doing

by their hand movements. Well, that's literally what they need to do. Yeah. What do you mean? That's the one thing you need as a mind as hands. Yeah, okay, so here we go. Our transfer end from TikTok could not be a good mind. So what am I doing?

Okay, here we go. Taking a shit. Oh, climbing a rope, climbing a rope, climbing a dick, climbing Jack and a beanstalk, climbing a draft deck. Climbing, I was close. I got there. I got there. I got there. He's very good, dude. All right. I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, yeah. I'm a, I'm a, I'm ready. What am I doing? Ready? Yeah.

Oh, I know. Okay. I can't tell you. What is it? You're at a cooking on a barbecue, right? And then you realize there's no meat. So now you have to go to the store. I am dead serious right now. Dude?

Yeah. No, I was a terrorist at hijacked a plane, but it looked the same, but it looked really similar Inhagni, what is in cogniz? I will tell you what it is it reaches out to data brokers on your behalf request your personal data Removal and deals with any objections from their side through an automated process This is pretty incredible because your stuff is all over the internet you a lot of people by the way get these spam calls these Robo calls, you know, I get this constantly,

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You've heard of it, you know it, it works so very well. You're looking for a doctor that is zock.com. Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash bad friends, zock.com slash. Bad friends. The best place to bet on the NFL is Fandule. North America's number one sportsbook. You can bet on everything from who's going to win the Super Bowl to any time touchdown score.

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This is how they fly. How do they... Well, he's steering through the air. How do they fly? How do they fly? Well, he's steering through the air. Yeah, because he's, no, because they're rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Look at me if I'm a pilot and if I'm a terrorist and I'm crashing the plane You don't just hold and go straight. I'm sure you want to just do one of these like Yeah, you know what I mean? You were kind of doing this. Well, he's gripping for life Yeah, they right now have some players can I ask you a real sensitive don't put your hand like that Yeah, I'm about 9-11 please you know If you miss you get another turn around chance no the other guy has to do it

Right, but I'm just saying that we be a bummer Can you imagine if he's like you spent a year in flight school you fucked up? Oh Do you imagine they get over the PA system? They're like we have to land the plane safely We missed our target. They have to land safely because they missed the target. It would be so fucking that's such a good sketch. Wow. That's such a funny idea. We're in dark, but sorry.

And anyone of victim of 9.11 will never forget. Well, they're not the victim. You mean the people in the building? Whatever. We'll never forget. We'll never forget. And we won't. We won't.

And we do apologize. It was terrible. And the mind me was great. Thank you. You would do another one or no. No. With you? No, with McCone. What the fuck are you doing?

I don't want to do with McCone. Yeah. But let me ask you another question about minds that I don't know. I don't know anything about them. Is there a famous mind? Who's the world's most famous mind? What I'm saying is I think that I think it's a dead genre

of performance. A dead art form. Oh, Marcel Marcel. Right, he's the one legend. He survived the Nazi occupation and say save many children in World War two, regarded by his peers style pantomime moving audiences without uttering a single word. How he survived what he pretend he was a wall. He was a wall. And just soldier was just walking by. You know, man, you know, you know what he did. He was the first guy to do, you know,

the guy in the park who paint himself, the still statue. Turn World War two, he was just a statue. Yeah, yeah. Is he dead? How, yeah, he's got to be dead. Yeah, what do I mean? World War two.

What am I talking about? Holy shit. Marcel Marcel huh? Go to his Wikipedia, Marcel Marcel. I want to know, I want to know what his, his arrow was. I don't know anything about the guy. He died in 2007. Not that long.

Wow, we could have met him. And he died in Cahua's France. But what a life, what a long life. Now how did you have two wives? What do you mean? Two wives for as a mind. Pretty good. I'd be hard pressed to find a mind with one wife.

Yeah. How do you get them? What do you mean? I can be honest with you. I know you're doing a joke right now, but. I have never seen it. Dude, I've never seen you do that just now. You know what you said?

Uh-huh. He did a comedy wink. Little comedy wink. That was so good. I've seen him do that before on stage. It's so quick. It's so quick. Let's just go with it.

Let's go with it. Yeah. Did you just notice that? I see him do. Yeah, yeah. Let me see if I can do it. Come anyway. Give me one. Oh, no, you don't keep acknowledging it after it's over. What do you mean? Because you really just Look at that magic. I was on stage. I know what you do it and keep going. All right. So I'm No, but I want stage right? Yeah Yes, that's good. But it looked a little flirtatious. That's the problem if you did that in a girl saw that she might go

Tissin no looking at you. What the fuck you talking about? I'm a girl in the audience. Oh I didn't know yeah, I'm a girl in the audience. Oh All your girl in the audience I am but I'm wicking at you. So where are you on the in the scenario? I'm backstage waiting to go on Why would I wink to anybody? Because it's all for sexual comedy. So for you comedy wink No, you know what? I would give you a sexual wink if you're a girl in the audience. I am a girl in the audience.

Go ahead, let me see the difference. So anyway, yeah, my pop, but. No, no, no, no, no. No. No. I fucked it up. I've never done a sexual wink before. Do a sexual wink to me.

I'm on stage. You're a hot check in the audience, ready? Yeah, and so I'm back home in the Midwest. And I was caught up like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just imitated you. Yeah. That's hot.

Yeah, we're thinking it's cool, man. You are cool, man. What's that? Oh my God, hold on. Before you show this, this is a clip that we saw that happened here in Long Beach. I just want to know what side you're on. Just asking you what side you're on.

Carlos, let's see it. Wait, wait, wait, before you even play it, I got to get my head straight. Okay, your head straight. This is a test. This is a real new, a real test. I'm going to put some dip in my mouth and I'm going to really focus. You got to focus on what's going on. Let me ask you something.

Could I go either way? You might. Yeah. And if if I go the wrong way, is that bad? There is no wrong way, right? Carlos. Is there a wrong or right way? There is no right. I love challenges like this. And let me put the dip in my mouth. And I have another challenge for you after this one's over. I can really go. I love challenges. And puzzles. You love puzzles. I love puzzles. All right, let's see what you're here. We go. Let's go. Who would you choose?

Where would you choose? A long beach, California homeowner says he has no regrets. After shooting and killing an unarmed woman who said she was pregnant. When the time comes, defend yourself the best, do something. The words of the 80 year old homeowner who confronted two robbers. I walked in on them. And they down me. They jumped on me in the hallway. But Tom Greer says he managed to get his 22 caliber Smith and

Wesson revolver. He says when that unarmed couple saw his gun, they took off and he followed. The lady didn't run fast as a man, so I shot her the back twice. She's dead and it's all her fault, but he got away. She says, don't shoot me. I'm pregnant. I'm a baby and I shot her anyway. Greer says he has no regrets and has a warning for the alleged partner in crime still wanted tonight. I shot her, so that's going to leave a message

on his mind. It's fucking insane. This guy. This guy is like, it's insane. It's awesome. He's like, I don't even understand.

Let me ask you something. Is it, is it, so they went into his house? They broke in. They were robbing him. I agree. I stopped saying, what about,

but if you listen closely, he goes, she couldn't run as fast as the man. So I shot her in the back. It was fucking insane. It was also information that he could have kept to himself. He shouldn't have said that.

Why is he like criminating himself? Yeah, it's like no she ran as fast right and she had this crazy looking around. He literally goes she said don't shoot me I'm pregnant. I didn't care I shot her anyway. Why? Why? Look how old I am twice. I shot her anyway. Okay, twice. Twice, it's my friend. Look how old I am. Twice. That's insane, dude.

All right, who's side of you, one, man? Uh, you can't break into people's houses. It's okay, you're on the old man's side. I don't know if killing them is the right thing to move. Just shoot her in the legs. There we go. Yeah, shoot her in the legs. Shoot the injured, not shoot the kill.

I mean, that's insane. That's really insane. I mean, by the way, he's so brazen. He couldn't care less. He couldn't. And at the end, the woman's like, Long Beach Police are still looking into it. What else do you need to look into? He literally was like, they broke in, I shot and killed her. There's the case. So you think it, you think he shouldn't go to prison. He's gonna go to prison for sure. In the state of California, which we're in, you cannot, you cannot shoot to kill on your own property. This isn't Texas, you guys have shoot to kill laws, right?

Can't you? If someone's on your property in Texas, somebody breaks in his parents house, they can shoot them and kill them. We can't do that in state of California. You should be able to. Yeah, this place is fucking insane. There's also a defense, like self-defense clauses

in Florida where... No, no, we have self-defense here, right? But you can't just shoot and kill someone that's on your property. I think it's unless they're shooting and trying to kill you. I think that's it. If it's self-defense, if they're shooting it, but she didn't have guns,

he had, they were unarmed. Yeah. I wonder when it is, but I know in California, the laws are so fucking weird here. Here they are. You can use proportional force when you reasonably believe that you're in imminent danger of physical harm and forces necessarily to stop it. You can use deadly force if you reasonably believe it you're an imminent danger of physical harm and forces necessary to stop it

You can use deadly force if you reasonably believe it's necessary to stop an imminent danger of death. So there number two If you're good, yeah, if you're if you're if they're stabbing you trying to kill you you can kill them in self-defense But if they don't have a gun you can't just shoot the kill on your property here in in Texas These people don't even need a reason if you step on their property Yeah, they show you a gun and say, I can kill you and they can. Wow. Fucking bonkers, I love it. Well, remember as a kid,

you'd ride a bike somewhere, you'd be on someone's property sometimes, that would happen all the fucking time. Well, your baseball goes under the backyard. I used to sneak in the backyard. Please, and then you break into their house and steal something, it happens all the time. Yeah.

There was a guy named Mr. Kettleman who owned a big piece of land, out by my mom's house, and he had a tire swing. He had probably like three, four acres of land, and he had a big tire swing from one of these old fucking huge oak trees. And nobody, he had no fucking young kids at Levere, and he wouldn't let anybody play on it.

So we'd wait till his truck was gone, and then we'd go play on it. And he caught us one time, and legitimately yelled that he was going to fucking kill us. We were kids we laughed it off. Now as an adult I thought, he probably was going to go get a gun and shoot and kill us. Wow.

But he was a psycho old guy and was like, go and fucking come on my fucking property. There's like, dude, it's a tire swing. It's, that is, kids want to be in that. Yeah, yeah. What the fuck do you think you have it for? Then I realized he went to Epstein's Island Oh, I see he would go when he would leave I see I see

It was a trap There was a pile of leaves underneath and you would fall in and you would be would have been a great business building playgrounds for Epstein I Oh my god, I imagine. So much money. So much money. So rich. What are you looking at?

Flight logs for you. Oh my God. He's back on ice. He does this all the time. You know when some people listen to our books, they go to bed. There are other names of people that are manifest of people on it.

Of course. Like who's on it that we know? That we know personally? No, just in the public domain. I was just say famous people who are on the flight logs. You can Google it. I'm pretty sure it's like Bill Clinton. I, um, there's a couple people we know that are on their

jessel nick I think was on there. I'm kidding. There you go. Prince Andrew, Alan Dershowitz, Emily Taylor, Sarah Kellen. I don't know these names. I know Bill Clinton. I know Dershowitz is a lawyer. Yeah.

Naomi Campbell, Stephen Hawking. Well, Stephen Hawking, yeah, there we go. Stephen Hawking. Stephen Hawking. It's insane. You think I had a fun time? Guy want to go to the island. Why won't you let me go?

Let me go. Do you think I had fun though? Oh, I had it last. One of the best times of my life. What did you do there, Stephen? I ate a lot of good of the best times of my life. What did you do there, Steven? I ate a lot of good food, hung out with good friends. Well, there he is. Amazing.

There is on the island. What's so fast? That's insane. Somebody stop me. Somebody stop me. Let's get into that position, he's in. Let's get into it. So.

Who me, just chilling. Me, chilling too. Just hanging out for the day. What a beautiful island. Ha ha ha ha. A butterfly has just landed on my nose. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha.

I mean, what happens in their lives? It's incredible. Like, that's an event if a butterfly lands on their life? It's incredible. Like, that's an event if a butterfly lands on their nose. That's an event for them. What does he do during the day when he's on the island? Oh, you guys are going jet skiing. I'll just be here chilling. Hello, L, L, L.

He went on a tour on a submarine, actually. Of the island? Yeah, that's the little St. James. That's the island.. Yeah. Wow. My God, how creepy is that dude? He was married twice. Stephen Hawking is married multiple times, right? Yeah. In that movie, he like he like left his wife for some girl he met while he was in fucking grad school. Isn't that what it was? How many times he married?

Look that out. Click that. Yeah, there you go. Married twice. Wow. Married to two twice. Wow. Married to two chicks. Wow. Stephen Hawking was married to Jane Wilde for 30 years and Elaine Mason for 12. Their longest marriage was 30 years to Jane Wilde and then he left her. And did he have a lot of money?

I guess, right? I don't know. How did he make all his fucking money? 20 million at the time of his death. Well, he's an author and I think you are like grants to study these. Also, I think he made a lot of his money, like public speaking and engagement, private engagements. Yeah.

But if he was able to body, he could have made billions. 100%. I'm not saying that in a, you know, a derogatory way. But that's why God did that to him. I mean, imagine he's like, this guy's gonna get too rich. Yeah, yeah.

He knows too much. He knows too much. He knows too much. It's incredible. What a life he had. Incredible. And he was able body for 20 years, right? And I can't remember when it happened how old he was. And he was in his 20s, I think.

When was he not... When Steve Honger, graduate school at 21, right? At 21. And, and, and, and, and, and, fuck, I can't even say that. Amy Atrophic lateral sclerosis. Wow. ALS, for commonly virtue in the US, has Lou Gehrig's disease.

Wow. Incredible. But he lived so long with ALS, right? Yeah, he had a slow progressive form, says. You guys, when I was a kid, I had a, Durand Durand poster on my wall. And it got ripped apart in months. And it stayed up there for years.

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You know what's going to happen. We've done that on, we've done this on this show. Yeah. When we start talking about someone they die, do you know this? This happened on the show multiple times. I'm not kidding. People have said that we've talked about someone like this and they passed it. We're like, Oh, okay, let's look.

You know who it was? What? Fucking... You just did that to P.P. Herman. P.E. Herman, Alex Trebek. We talked about it on the show one time and then like a week later, he fucking died. That's a bitchist. Oh, let's do it. Well, it wasn't us.

Let's eat that all. Okay, let's do an experiment right now. You're exact. All right. McCone, McCone. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, How about this? In the next year, Mitch McConnell. Mitch McConnell? Yeah.

He's so close. He's so close. Yeah. By the way, he's only 81. That's not that old, but he looks wrecked. When you see him fall asleep, when he robotically passes out in the middle of a speech, yeah, yeah.

It's the fucking weirdest thing I've ever seen. I know. He's gonna, you think he's gonna go? I think fine-seen is gonna go. Yeah, but that's, he's gonna go. Yeah, but that's, that's obviously. Oh, okay. Any second now.

Mitch McConnell, so you think he's out? I think in the next year, maybe. This has changed my perspective about age because I watched that life in the blue zones documentary on Netflix. Oh, I wanna watch it, what is it? It's the highest concentrations around the world of the people that are sent here,

that are older than 100. Dude, there are these people in fucking Okinawa in Japan. Yeah, I've heard, I know about that. They look like they're 70 and they're 100 years old. And let me guess why. Cause they're Japanese. No, that's not why. Yes, it is.

No, because in Tokyo is at the same rate. I'll tell you why. No, what it is. What is, tell me. That's what the whole documentary is about. I'll tell you what it is. What is it? Diet.

Yes, that's part of it. Okay. There's tons of things. Community? Yes, correct. Right, so community, diet, community, and their Japanese. That's right. Those are three things.

So I'll tell you what the common thread is of all these. Faith, they all believe in something. By the way, it's a blue zone in Japan. There's one in Italy. There's one, he does around the world. There's one here in Loma Linda, California has the highest concentration of centarians. Centarians.

Cent, cent, cent, what is it? How many people over 100 centarians? Oh, here's another reason. Look up Loma Linda centarians. Another thing about them is in Okinawa is that like old men and women, they do traditional fishing. So they'll go out in the ocean, or spear fish, and do activities like that.

Yes. They're constantly active. Well, here's the other thing though, about all these places. Diet, spirituality, they all believe in something. They're all different faiths, so they believe in something. Right.

Community, family, and they grow their own fucking food. They grow their almost all these places, harvest their shit, and they make their own fucking food. They grow there, almost all these places harvest their shit and they make shit by hand. In Mexico, there was a spot, no, no, no, sorry, Costa Rica, there was a spot, they make everything by hand. So this old rolling stone, she was making tortillas. She's like, how old is it? He's like, how old is a stone?

She's like, I don't know, is my mother's mother. So this stone has made tortus for fucking hundreds of years. Not us, we go to fucking, we go to Uncle Paul, he's in order. I know, you know, six thousand. The average is two of them, yeah. Valerie Samford, and they're so good. This, this.

The best. They don't have this in fucking Okanawa. They make that, they all work at a vape factory. They don't. Right. Dude, we gotta change our dude. Bad friends have to, we have to change the way we live our lives. Nope. Yes. I don't want to get to 100. That's nuts. But it's not just that it's quality of life. It's they're peaceful and serene. You're right. Like last night at two in the morning, I went into a coneption fit

because there's a bug on Starfield, right? And it's like, I'm already like 60% I've been playing all day every day. And there's a bug and it's set online that I have to start over. Oh my god. Yeah, and I was like, oh my god! Oh my god!

Oh my god! I was like... Two of the more... I didn't even know what to do! And they don't do that in Okinawa. No, they don't. They don't do that. They do not. And I have to change.

You do. We do. I do. I'm 52 years old. You know what I mean? I'm fucking freaking out like that. But think about it like this. If you change, then you can get to 100, you only halfway through.

That's incredible. 50 more years. Yeah, I always, I always, when people die, I always go, okay, hold it, we're there. And they were 80. And then I always look back. Where was I? 30 years ago, because I'm 52.

20. And then I go from 20 to now. How long was that? And that was a long time. Long time. So I kind of it makes that makes me relieved You got a long time left buddy. Yeah, but when you're somebody like Argus Hamilton, you know the comic. He's older Yeah, we have 70 right early 70 something. I don't know right maybe that window is shorter I mean how does that I don't even know how you live, but he's lived a great fucking life

He's lived a long glorious life right Right. On the tonight show more than anybody else. Hey, that's 70 years old. I mean, he, and by the way, still killing it at the store. Having a great time, writing new shit every fucking day. Yeah. Loving life is always polite and sweet and nice and funny. So he's, I love him. So by the way, he might say, dude, I've lived a full life.

I'll go when I go. I'll go whenever the fuck I go. Yeah. One of the guys in, one I'll go whenever the fuck I go. Yeah. One of the guys in, one of the guys on the documentary was so funny, he's like, how do you feel about living to be a hundred and he's like, I don't know if God forgot to kill me. That's funny.

I love when they're funny. God forgot to kill me. Yeah, yeah. We need more vegetables, more fruits, less dairy, less sugar. It's like no meat on all these diets. No meat either. Well, I see that's not true because some of the places did have me, but it was limited

meat. I see. Limited meat. But this helped me. I watched this because I'm reading this book from my back and I feel so different the past couple of days. Oh, you're using a different method, huh? I do still holistic.

I got it. Well, yeah, you see the cupping marks on my back. Incredible. I went to AcuPuncture. I'm doing holistic and I read this book that I suggest called the way out. The way out. The way out. It's fucking that one right there. The way out. Man, it's so fucking good. And so that you've been applying the rules and the way out things. Yeah, so I was listening to it in the car. I listen to the audio book and holy fucking shit.

It like changed my life. It's fucking insane. I'm like annoyed because he talks about being a skeptic. He goes, you're probably a skeptic. He's like saying this to me in the car and I'm like, yep, as I'm driving. Yeah. You probably think I can't fix your pain.

I go, you fucking nailed it, bud. Yeah. Because I'm writhing in pain most days as I'm driving. I'm in so much pain. Yeah. And then he teaches you these steps. It takes a long time to get into. You have to listen to all the storytelling

and he gives you a lot of background and expedition. Give me two steps. When you have pain in your body. Yeah. Because it's physical pain is what he's talking about. So one of the things that he teaches, there is this thing, it's called neuroplastic pain, which means it's pains that when your body is healed,

right, your body's already healed, your brain has still been, your brain is confused thinking these signals are still there and there's pain, but you're healed. So the arm's not broken, but you're still feeling stuff, maybe. Right. Neuroplastic pain. He said, a high percentage of these cases they found,

people that are in heavy pain throughout their life, chronic pain, it's neuroplastic. It's kind of fabricated. Wow. And some of this, I'm doing an abridged version, but one of the steps is they teach you how to sit and almost meditate thinking about literally the pain. You're in pain, thinking about the pain,

and he takes your different steps about how you are thinking about the pain, where it's moving in your body, is it shaping, is it shifting through your body? Does it feel like fire, is it pins? So he's talking to you about what the pain is doing and how it's doing it, and how your brain is relearning itself to go, this is okay.

I don't have fear of this. Fear causes more pain. If I have no fear of the pain, it's not there. Yeah. And you're literally reprogramming your fucking brain to remove fear of the pain that it's coming, it's gonna get worse, it'll never get fixed, it might come again tomorrow morning,

it happens every time at 7 p.m. Fear, fear, fear, fear, and you're fucking sucking the fear out of your brain. And honestly, dude, it's changed my fucking life. I couldn't recommend that book more. It's wild. You could apply it to everything in your life. So can you stop? Can you stop? Think about the thing that's making you mad, sad, or hurt? And can you really dig in? Why am I in pain? Why am I sad? Why is this hurting me physically or mentally? And you reprogram your mind to slowly pull away the fear

and pull away the... Or... Yeah? You can take Vaketan. You can take Vaketan. Yeah, we're that. Either one. You could. Yeah, you could do that. I'm Vaketan. I saw you judging me.

Thank you. I know. I saw you looking at me. It's interesting. It's psychological. Like if you've seen old samurai movies. Yeah. Right. Hongkuri. Right? Yeah. They're in a battle. Yeah. Right? Hongurri, right? They're in a battle. Yeah.

One man versus one man. Hongurri, Hongbalu. Hongbalu, right? Sing, they pull out the fucking thing, right? And then an arm of slice off and they'll smile. Hongurri, but it's a gigantobolo. Right? It's psychological.

Through the stomach, you'll pull it out. Yeah. Yes. Right? And they keep going, head falls off. Put the back on. Put the back on. No, no, no, no, no.

They say that, right? Stitch it, blot, right? And then once he kills the guy, he just falls and dies. It's amazing. It's amazing. He's all samurai movies are like that. It's in the mind. It's kills the guy, he just falls and dies. Amazing. It's amazing. He's all summer, I movies are like that. It's in the mind.

It's in the mind, dude. This thing helped me out tremendously. It's actually for life as well. That's what the book is about. How do you, how do you sit in it? Yeah. Feel it. You gotta feel it.

You gotta fucking feel it. It sounds like a delus. It's dope as shit. I can tell you that. I'm fucking in love with it. So are you, is the pain subsiding? Yeah, I mean, you seem like a, because I've never seen you like this in months.

When I pulled up, you opened the door and you had a smile on your body. Yeah, I had never seen it in my life. Big smile face. Yeah, the pain, the pain comes and goes, but I'm learning to fuck it off. Fuck, fuck it off. Fuck it out.

Get the fuck out of here. Get the fuck out of here. I don't really need to read the book then, because I'm not in pain. You're not. Okay. But I'll tell you, I want to tell this one story real fast, that they talk about in the book.

This is one of the greatest tricks of all time. They try to find out how prevalent neuroplastic pain is, and they took these case studies, and they did this a bunch of different ways, a bunch of different times. This one's the most interesting to me by far. This is incredible. Scientifically, there is no such thing as chronic whiplash, right?

Like people they get in a car accidents, they'll say, I got whiplash. It's a diagnosis for either bruising or a aggravation of the muscles or the tendons, right? This happens a lot. People get in like little fender brothers and they say, oh well, what you're experiencing is whiplash when they go to the doctor, right? They can a lot. People get in like little fender brothers and they say, oh well, what you're experiencing is whiplash

when they go to the doctor, right? They can pills, most people are fine in a couple of weeks. Some people say they experience remnants of the whiplash days, months, years down the road. It comes back, right? They did this study to find out because it's been proven that whiplash, chronic whiplash doesn't exist. Once the neck is healed, that thing that you're thinking is

the pain, that's not true. there is nothing there harboring it. So they put all these people in a car in a fucking test facility and they jolted the car a little bit, just a little bit, like an inch, not even anything, crashed a bunch of glass and stuff and had lights and sound, loud, heavy sound, to emulate a car crash. All of these people thought they had Whiplash. All of them. There was no accident. They barely moved in like this, like this,

an inch in their seats. So all of them reported feeling the thing saying, I got Whiplash, yeah, 100%, and 68% of these fucking people said they had physical effects from the Whiplash days weeks later. Yeah. When they told them, never happened, these people were befuddled.

They were like, I was in the accident. Like, no, you weren't. We'll show you the footage. It never happened. All of them, all of them said, oh yeah, I guess, no, I don't, I guess I don't. Is it the same as like experiencing trauma as a child? You know how you experience trauma as a child

and then years later you're in a scenario that seems similar, you meet somebody that reminds you of your dad or whatever and all those things come back up. Is it the same theory there or not? Because you're psychologically telling yourself that that's the reality. There was a guy, there's one more quick story.

There was a guy who was a worker at a construction site. He stepped on a fucking nail. The nail went right through his boot, everybody saw it. He was thriving in pain. Pulled the fucking, pulled his boot up, and the nail was in the boot. And he was grabbing his leg. They took him to the hospital.

They took off his boot, and they found out where they cut the boot, the nail went right through his toes, right through, didn't puncture anything. No blood, no nothing. He himself was like, Wow. I was sure that I was stabbed, I felt it. I felt it go through my foot.

He felt it go through his toes. He assumed this is it. So psychologically, this is an example in the book they say of like, the brain is so fucking powerful. It made this man think he was stabbed in the fucking foot. He felt the pain in his leg like he was stabbed. Yeah, I've seen a test where like they put like you hide your arm or whatever and they put a fake arm.

Yes, right. And they smack it with a hammer. And you go, ah, right, right? Yeah, and you think you feel it. Yeah, yeah, smack it with a hammer. Smash it and you go, ah! Right, right? Yeah, and you think you feel it. Yeah, yeah, you think you feel it. It's so weird. What the book is saying is that pain exists.

It's just a lot of pain is neuroplastic that we've exacerbated because we've tricked our brain into thinking this is how we should be suffering from the pain and feeling from the pain. So then your body reacts accordingly. You overcompensate, right? And it's wild. It's what the mind can do is incredible.

Like even when I, you know, talked to young comics, I was telling Angie this, we were having dinner and she goes, like, how do you do it? Angie, that didn't go to your party? Yeah, yeah. She's a young comic and I go, and I go, you know, I'll be honest with you. Like, I'm literally the laziest dude.

You'll ever meet. I can vouch for that. That's not a bad thing. Not at all. Right? I have never done anything. Right? So the two things I've done is I've always shown up.

Yeah. So I've gone on stage. You see me at the club. You show up. I show up to auditions and stuff like that, right? Unless you have to cancel. Right. And number two, there is a belief.

I've always believed that I was funny and talented and it was gonna make it. Yeah. You believed it too. In you, yeah. No, you believed it in yourself, be honest. Not all the time, no. Yes, you can't have that 24 hours a day

but I'm just saying for the majority of the part, really deep inside, I just knew that I... You had something. This is the right direction. And it going to all work out and I visualized the way I think I wanted my life to be and it just kind of slowly fell into place. Yeah, you know me it's a lot of it's mental. It's psychological. It is. I don't know that word people throw that around. I don't know if I want to use that word. Okay, but it is. What word did he throw manifestation? Oh, I thought he said the N word. I thought that's what you're throwing

around. Yeah. That's why you said they throw that around a lot throw? Manifestation. Oh, I thought he said the N word. I thought that's what you were throwing around. Yeah, yeah. That's why you said they throw that around a lot. Yeah. Oh my God. Oh, what's going on here? Well, I want to show you something. Yeah.

Uh, McCone sent me this. Now, by the way, you want McCone to be on your shit list more. McCone sent this to me and he goes, Bobby's got to see this. Okay. Wow. You did that? Yeah.

Okay. This is a dude. This is a real thing. Show him. What's the negotiation? Okay, this is a dude. This is a this is a real thing shown Lid lifts for babies This is a real thing that they do lid lifting and it works look at you What do you mean? Oh, we're on you Oh, you think without that I would be just because skin over my eyes Well, didn't you you get the lift in? No, I think that's what they're doing that

so that their kids get round their eyes, no? I have no idea. Why do they do lidlifting in Japan? Yeah, why do they do that? Lidlifting with tape. In Japan though. But you know, it isn't Japan, that was yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, lidlifting. But famous eye glue, they do eye glue. I mean, it's definitely just to look more Western. I don't know what they were doing. I have no idea. I figured that's why we brought it in to see if maybe you had an answer, Bob. Well, Sancapool is a operation that my mom got

and all my uncles and aunts. Sancapool? In Korean, it's Sancapool. And Sancapool is an eye operation to make them, my mom got the eye operation so she can look more western. Are you serious? I swear to God. Well, I say, type in San Kapu Korean.

I don't know. I mean, I think I'm pronouncing it different but it's Sangapul or right there. Yeah, Sangapul. See? So San, San Paku. Yeah. That's Sangapul. San Paku. San Paku. Yeah, San Pacu. Is that San Pacu? San Pacu. San Pacu, yeah. Significant white part is visible. So San Pacu eyes means... So there's a physical surgery that people do in Korea.

All my uncles, you know also they used to do in the 70s. Not only would they get San Pacu. San Pacu. They would get their hair permed. The men. Is that a two for one? Can you get that down at the same time? Yeah, so they all look like...

What's that ba, the painter? Your Bob Ross. How come it looks like Bob Ross? Yeah, I mean, it was crazy. Because I like one year I would be a kid and I would look at my Uncle Han right and I go, Hi, Uncle Han, literally a year later, he came back, he didn't live in our city.

Yeah. I saw him again, I did not recognize him. Suns, right? But he did have a canvas and some paint, so. So. And he kept going, happy trees. Yeah, but my mom goes, uh, when you're older, I get sun couple of feet, I don't want it.

So how old was your mom when she got sunpaku? In her 20s. Late 20s. But you don't, why would you do it? It makes a completely difference. But your eyes are big. No, they're not. Your eyes are as big as my eyes.

What's wrong? Oh no, I was seeing if he had sunkoopu eyes. He does not. I was just, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it would, wait, do I have, oh no. Sunpaku is just three sides of the eyes, so it's just, that's a word for bigger eyes. Yes, a bigger eyes, yeah.

But Asians don't have that a lot so they get the search are you know racial profiling oh yeah yeah wait you look at me your eyes are the same size as mine my eyes are as open as your eyes I don't think so did I don't have big eyes I don't have big eyes then you need some good let's get it together then yeah we'll get it together but I refuse to do it like I refuse to do I make my my mom I was like mom I don't want to look like white people no she's Let's get it together then. Yeah, we'll get it together. But I refused to do it. Like I refused to do it. I was like, mom, I don't want to look like white people. No.

And she's like, you become more accepted. I'm like, oh my god. You can't get more accepted than you are. I'm like, yeah, because things changed. But I guess in the 70s, right, it was maybe it was like there's some sort of pressure that they had. But here's the thing with doing a lot of stuff

to your face and your eyes. I saw a girl today that doing a lot of stuff to your face and your eyes. I saw a girl today that had a lot of stuff done and she was like maybe 25 years old and you're like, you're not even faces and even done yet. You know, like, I don't think your face is done till you're like 30. Once you get 30, your face kind of is what it is

for the rest of your fucking life. And why is it when they get the old ladies and like if you go to Beverly Hills, you see like a bunch of 50 year old ladies with all the boat time, they only like Benedict Cumberpatch. Yeah. Yeah.

Don't they look like Benedict Cumberpatch? I do. Especially that short hair. Yeah. So this is a woman who had San Paku. So there we go. What's better? That looks identical.

What's the difference? The white under the eye. I like the before. You mean too. I think the before. Give me two. I think that's how our face is supposed to look. Yeah, I like the before two, it's weird. God made you perfect. Give me a Korean, that's not Korean,

it's Filipino, it looks like. Give me a Korean person with sunka pool. God made you perfect the way you are. I always felt that about myself. That's how I feel, I don't feel. Oh, like K-pop stars do it all the time. Oh wow. Yeah, look at them.

They do it all the time. And this one says, look at them. They do it all the time. And this one says, Sumbagian eyes. What's Sumbagian mean? S-A-M-B-A-G-A-N, Sumbagian. What is that, what is that indicate? Oh, it's like a superstition maybe. Oh, it means ill-fated.

Individuals, Sumbaku eyes are considered ill-fated and destined for a life filled with misfortune. That's why I didn't get it done, baby. Yeah. Whoa. Andfated and destined for a life filled with misfortune. That's why I didn't get it done baby. Yeah. Whoa. And look at your mom. She's filled with misfortune. We call her misfortune.

You really? Well, we call her misfortune. If you look at my mom's love, there's so much misfortune in it. I'm being real. In your mom's eyes? No, in our life. Yeah, because yeah, you're fucking dead.

Yeah, it raised you two. You know what happened to, you know, I told you the aunt story. Uh-uh. Dude, I can't believe I've never told the story before what we didn't it's fucking insane. What is it? So during the career warm, well you're slapping McCone Okay He likes physical. Yeah, he really does like rats. Yeah, well here. Let me throw some of that. Yeah He was probs physical. Yeah, he really does like Pratska. Well here, let me throw something at his head. Yeah. He lives props. So what my mom, so you know, I've been to my mother's house where she grew up. It's on this hill. It's generations live there. It was in a part of Seoul, maybe a residential

district. But during the Korean War, you'd have, I remember this winding road that came down. So they lived on top of this, you know, there was like four or five houses on top of this hill and you had to walk down this thing. And my mom's job during the Korean War was to walk my, her little sister, my aunt, to school. Right? What's the, anyway. And so one day they were walking down the thing and then my mom forgot like a book. She told my aunt, stay here. I'm gonna go run and get my book. And when she came back, this is terrible.

A military truck had whizzed around the corner and ran over my aunt. And my... Carlos. Carlos. What? What? What?

What? Dude. And I- What? What? What? What? What? Dude. And I just... What? Was it an American truck? No, it was like a Korean military truck. But here's the worst part.

There's worse? Oh, way worse. Okay. Way worse. So it was... This is one... I don't know why my mom would describe this in detail. But she did.

Do it as her. Let me hear it as your mom. So I come down the puppy, I come down, you know, one side of the street, her head, other side of the street, her leg, and then on the middle row, everything inside. I go, oh no. I don't know what to do. It's awful. So I run back up. I tell your uncle, right? You know, Auntie of my sister, she did.

So they had to take an empty, a nice bag. No, yeah. No. Yeah. We had the empty, that's a bag. I was like, you guys have lunch? What the fuck are you talking about? Nice bag. No, yeah. No. Yeah, yeah. We had the M-theor, that's a bag. I was like, you guys have lunch? What the fuck are you talking about?

They threw away good food. So they took these bags, and because there's no ambulance in the war, this is about 50s, right? And they ran out and they had to pick up parts of my aunt. Oh my God. Put it in the rice bag and then my mom goes, for years, you know?

I could never sleep. Yeah, no shit, no shit. I go no shit. How does she still eat rice? I know. All right. So, and then she comes to America and she meets my dad who's like Violent abusive alcohol like abusive rage a hall like so she would get beat by him, right?

So she and if I guess God knew that she was gonna get the operation God gave her San Paku Maybe I don't know But was a tough life and that's insane. It's a tough life. What can we do to make your mother's years now more better? What can we do to better? She right now is living her best life. Good.

Because she doesn't have to be with my dad. She doesn't have to worry about money because I, you know, I hope her out. Can we find her? I hope her out. Love? No, she doesn't want that. No, I don't mean sexual.

I just mean a companion. Well, my brother was this out there for two weeks. That's not what I'm talking about. I don't know. She doesn't, she's like, you remember when she was at the show? Yeah. And her and I were sitting on the couch

and she was, we're just a goner gadget. She was on her iPad, you were on your iPhone. iPhone, right? That's, she's, that's it. That's content. But I mean, like, don't you think she could benefit from a companion? Because she goes in the morning, she goes to exercise.

She doesn't like people in that way. Right, she doesn't. No, some people don't need it. It would be, it would be a, do you think you're that way? Could you, when you get older, just be alone and you're okay with being alone? No, because I, I don't think that I've experienced the kind of trauma that she has.

I also think you're, you love love. You love. I do love love. Companion shit. Yeah, I do. I need it. Could you be alone? Carlos for the rest of your life?

Yeah. You could. I can't believe I never told you that story before. I thought you said your aunt. I know you said your aunt died, but I thought she... I had a, well first of all, you know I have 28 first cousins 28 first cousins 28 I know and I have a bunch of uncles and aunts and they're all dead No, there are a lot of them are alive and anybody else die tragically at the hands of a military truck Pety could you be alone and your remaining years of life? Oh, no hell no. Yeah, I know you need a companion

I need someone now. And McCone, you don't get to answer. You couldn't be alone. He's a little sweetie pie too. He likes love. He loves love. But the one thing about my mom, this is serious. And I've called people and I've- She's got a great ass.

That I want to say. It is plump. That dump is plump. I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I. Yeah, I would, I wish you would do that. Find Korean therapist and psychologist in Arizona. There. You know, but, let's find her one. Let's get her someone to talk to. We can pay for it. Yeah, I would like her to do that, but,

if, but I've, I've brought it up and she's like, let's go through. Do you want SoulKey? Oh, Jenna's hot. All right, that's not the point. Do they speak Korean though? Yes, SoulKey is fucking, Jenna's hot. All right. That's not the point. Do they speak Korean though? Yes. SoulKey is fucking her profile's in Korean. Jesus. Yeah, you're right. You're right.

I'm going to ask my mom if she's, she's willing. Save the profile. I'm dead serious. Save the soul. You might not be willing though. Call her an ask. Call your mom an ask. It's for the show. I don't want to bother her, but okay.

Hold on. Tell you with me, she loves me. She does love me, dude. Whenever I talk to her, she's excited to hear me. She's gonna go, no, she's gonna watch, watch. She's gonna be so, like, what are you talking about? It's 125. I'll tell you what I'm saying.

125 dollars per session. Yeah. We can, we'll, bed friends will pay for it. I like how she answers. She goes. Oh. You can't do that student for his own. No? Oh, I saw.

Yeah, I'm here. Oh, I'm here. I mean, LA, how are you? I'm fine. What are you doing? What are you doing? I said LA. Are you asking?

I'm seeing this like an internet. I'm wondering that. I mean, you're on bad friends right now. You're don't worry about it. But, um, me and Andrew want to know, if, would you ever want a therapy? It would be a full lot. I mean, just if you want to, do you feel good? I mean, I know sometimes I'm under the weather, you know, it's just one day.

No, but how about your sadness? Are you sad or no? No. You're never sad. That's how I never sad. You're super happy. Super happy. I didn't stop here with you as super nice.

Super happy. Okay, good. If, but if we got you a therapist, would you talk to someone who speaks Korean? Oh my, I'm gonna go to church. Oh my, I'm gonna go to church. We found a girl that speaks Korean. We found a Korean therapist in Gilbert.

And I was wondering if you ever wanted therapy that we could get you her. Maybe I didn't get one time. You wanna try? Yeah, because you know, outside that I'm happy maybe inside that knot. I know, I just, because I feel like you don't talk to people about your feelings and your emotions and how you fear. I can do it. We all do therapy. We love it.

We all do therapy. We all do therapy. We're going to try it with it. Because, you know, you know why I bring it up? Because we talked about, remember you're a little sister. What's your going on? Yeah, what's to do? Good.

Don't speak Korean, try to speak English. You mean my younger sister? Yeah, what happened? The one she died the way she was. Okay, okay. It's fine, but anyway, I love you, mom. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. Okay. Ask if she misses me. Do you miss and do you miss Andrew?

And you try. No, that's our cousin. You know my friend Andrew the red headed guy. Oh, no, he's right here. Andrew. You remember Andrew, right? Yeah. Yeah, she does. Do you miss him or no? Oh, yes. I love you, mom. I love you. I love you, mom. I'm crying. OK.

All right. So if you ever need help, I'm here, OK? OK. OK. Think about it. I'll pay for it. Sometimes I'm thinking maybe after that, God, maybe I don't feel like I don't express

maybe inside I am. Yeah, I really want you to see a therapist and she speaks full Korean this lady. Oh, really? I'm so happy to see you. So let me know if I can set it up, okay? English I cannot express, but how long ago am I can do?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I really, let's try it one my life can do you know yeah yeah I Really let's try it one time what do you think yes Yes, that's one time okay, okay, all right. I love you. I'm gonna hook it up Okay I love you. I love you. I'm so fucking excited. This is what this is like bringing it up Well, why would you say it? I was just kidding. I know cuz you were like bringing up. I'm so fucking excited. This is what this is like bringing it up. Well, why would you say it? I was just kidding I know cuz you were like bring it up. I'm no, I didn't mean it. It was for the show. I was joking for you Yeah, but I thought you she can't hear me you can hear me. You went at me. I did it

Comedy win. I gave you a comedy wink By the way, you know we grew up the same way in that right. I Irish people we just don't yeah Irish Catholics Just don't talk about stuff, they push it away, it didn't exist, it's okay, it ha-dark shit that happened to someone like a faquid died or something tragic, we just don't, they don't talk about it. So we grew up in that same world of like,

don't worry about it. Don't worry about it, but we're gonna blow up an English building. Fuck you talking about. He knows. There's something about Irish Catholics. They just don't... Well, I mean, they drink away their feelings. There's something about like the Irish

and the Asians, they built the railroads. We're bonded from the beginning. I think we're bonded from... We're bonded, dude. You're my best friend. Oh, you're my best friend. Hey, you're my best friend. Thank you for being a bad friend. Woo! Yeah!