Bad Friends - Andrew Has Heat!
Episode Date: January 28, 2021Thank You to our Sponsors: http://babbel.com code: badfriends & http://butcherbox.com/badfriends & https://www.bespokepost.com code: badfriends & http://buyraycon.com/badfriends  Subscribe to our ...YouTube: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube 0:00 Bobby Hates This Cold Open 6:05 More Dogs 12:05 Andrew Almost Beat Up in His Neighborhood 16:25 Bad Neighbors 25:30 Family Feud vs Jeopardy 29:42 Rudy's Jon Favreau Moment 32:32 Why Andrew Santino Has Heat 45:20 Fancy B's Animal Game 49:45 "I'm Not Gay No More" 55:21 SNL's Sinead O'Conner & Ashlee Simpson Moments 57:47 The Song For Rudy 1:05:35 Our Safe Space aka Kevin Hart's The Purge but for Words 1:12:45 Rudy's Accidental Text More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com/ More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com/ More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/  Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod  Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Produced by George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: Jenna Sunde, Joe Faria, Andrés Rosende Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
he, he, he, he, oh, yoo!
Horse.
Horse.
Wait, I don't know how to make this sound.
I don't know how to do that.
What is it?
Go, go.
Do it again.
Put the cards down.
Put the card down and just do it.
Heehee, heehee, heehee.
I know what it is.
Hyena?
Hyena?
Yeah!
Hyena.
Hyena?
I got it.
That's good.
That was really good.
You two are bad friends.
Who are these two idiots?
White dude and an Asian dude.
You two are disgusting.
You two are something.
We're bad friends.
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To go from Hawaii to this dreary dystopian nightmare, bro.
Yeah.
It's so good.
You know when you're flying into LA, you know, at night especially,
and you see just the vastness of sadness.
Yeah.
How big it is.
How big and sad it is.
Yeah, it's deep.
You hear that music.
Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.
Like the, yeah.
Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum.
You go in and then it's like, you see little sits with words like jewels.
She don't even say hi to you when you walk in the house.
I lost my voice.
I don't know how I lost.
Honestly, I lost my voice.
I literally woke up.
Yeah.
And I was trying to yell at my wife.
As I do.
Yeah.
And I just couldn't, I couldn't do it.
Does it sound like it hurts?
Are you sick?
Yeah.
No.
I know.
I just, it's like gone.
Yeah.
I don't know what it's from.
Dude, right now I just realized your eyebrows are cartoony, bro.
They're big again.
What happened?
Trim those down, bro.
No, I leave them this way because of you.
Really?
Yeah.
I want this to.
Holy shit.
It looks good, right?
It looks like a very cartoony.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Don't do that.
Dude, honestly, I lost my voice.
I think from, I do this charity every single weekend where I go and I feed the homeless.
It's called feed and fuck and I feed and fuck the homeless.
And I don't know, maybe it was too many fucks.
I fed a bunch too.
He's into any of that.
No.
You know that shows, right?
No.
His heart is a black stone.
Hey guys, to start.
Oh my god.
Hold on.
Can I do a reel?
Can we start from the reel?
Let's start from the beginning.
We don't have him.
We haven't even started and we have him interrupting.
Hey, buddies, let's go.
I have a bit.
I wrote something last night with my wife.
Let's do a questionnaire.
I have a bunch of questions about, you know.
Yeah.
Yeah.
About the music.
And music.
1970s music.
So, you know, created co water.
What is it?
Revival.
Very good.
One point for Andrew, right?
George, Ringo, John.
Who's the one?
Paul.
Okay.
One for Bobby.
And then we go on and on and he thinks he's being clever.
He is clever though.
He is very clever.
He's a clever little fancy.
I'm just saying that like you can't open up, bro, with a fucking bit that you wrote already.
He wants to though.
What were you going to say?
Fancy?
It wasn't a bit.
For me, it was a cold open.
Oh, see, he wrote a cold open.
That's good though.
Like we're the fucking tonight show.
Well, let's hear the cold open.
Yeah.
Let's hear the cold open.
You fuck.
Well, you have, you guys have some cards in front of you.
We're not doing a bit.
No, I'm not doing it.
I refuse it.
We were in control of the show, right?
We will do the fucking bit like later.
How about we do a cold closer with that?
Sounds great.
Okay, good.
Jules, look right into your camera.
Jules has a new camera.
It's high def.
So because people, because people complain the old camera was terrible.
So look into the camera and I want you to do a traditional opening for bad friends.
Say welcome to bad friends.
You know, give us like a run, give the fans a rundown of what's going to happen on this
episode today.
Yeah.
Go ahead into your camera.
Go ahead.
Hi guys, welcome to bad friends.
And today we're going to play some cards.
You're fired.
Yeah.
We're not playing cards.
We're not playing cards.
We're not playing cards.
We're not playing cards.
We're not playing cards.
You have to guess what's going to go on today.
So just make sure.
How about this?
Not just one thing.
You got to name four things.
Four things that's going to happen.
All right.
You're going to make them up, right?
Go ahead.
And action.
Hi guys.
This is Rudy.
And welcome to bad friends.
Today we're going to play named Tito Bobby's least favorite animal.
Good.
Okay.
Very good.
That's a game.
We're going to eat another ballot.
Okay.
Okay.
Interesting.
And then we're going to sing a song.
I like songs.
And lastly, we're going to pray to God.
Wow.
What a show.
Can we pray to God first?
Let's open with pray to God.
Why don't you open with a prayer?
Yeah.
Open with a prayer.
Open with a prayer.
Go ahead.
Okay.
Dear God.
Good opening.
That's a good start.
Yeah.
Thank you for this wonderful day.
Okay.
I'm thankful that Tito Bobby arrived safely from Hawaii.
I'm glad we have two other dogs in the house.
Oh, God.
I know.
And you don't know.
You have no fucking idea.
Well, I can feel it.
I can feel it.
You have no fucking idea, bro.
Okay.
Tito Andrew, George, and Andreas.
And that's it.
In that order?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Are you going to close it out?
How do you close a prayer?
Yeah.
You got to close it out somehow.
Amen.
There we go.
Or a woman.
We don't discriminate here at Bad Friends.
Yeah.
Bob, welcome back from Hawaii.
Thank you.
I come back.
So I come last night, right?
Yeah.
I'm like, how fucking landed?
I didn't eat in all day.
I landed, you know, tried a social distance in the fucking airport to hold
something.
You get it.
Yeah, I get it.
The guy, the fucking Puerto Rican man picks me up at the airport.
I don't know.
How are we?
I don't care.
Let's go.
Yeah.
We get in the car and I call, you know, Kalyla.
I'm in the car.
Yeah.
I'm going to be there in about 30 minutes.
Okay.
Just mind the other dogs.
I go, what?
What?
Yeah.
We got two dogs.
Mind, you know, just, they're downstairs.
Two new dogs.
I go, what?
What?
A pit bull.
We have a new pit bull and a little, a little black one, whatever that is.
It's this side.
The pit bull.
The pit bull is the biggest dog I've ever seen in my life.
Right.
It's got the head of fucking Joe Diaz.
It's huge.
Right.
And then the little one is like this.
It's like a Kevin Hart.
Yeah.
I call them little Kevin hearts.
So you get a little Kevin Hart.
Right.
Yeah.
And this gigantic rock.
Right.
I come in.
They're just yapping.
Right.
Running around.
They're not even puppies.
They're all dogs.
Yeah.
And who are they?
Whose dogs are they?
A homeless woman.
What?
A homeless woman.
Yeah.
She's sick.
So what?
Yeah.
What is that?
It's our job now.
It is to fucking take in all dogs that are fucking homeless.
Yeah.
How did you get these dogs, Jules?
A friend of a Tikalila, texted her.
A homeless friend?
No.
Her friend was helping the homeless situation.
Yeah.
Okay.
You don't pick up the phone.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You don't.
You don't pick up the phone.
No.
It could be anything.
It could be like, eh, you know, I have three kids.
One of them's like, you know, blind and, you know, his heart is on his shoulder.
Yeah.
He has a thing.
You know what I mean?
Can you take care?
I don't pick anything can happen.
No.
Yeah.
I can't.
I'm busy.
So I don't pick up the fucking phone.
You fucked up by picking up the phone.
And now how long?
Don't look at me like that, young lady.
Now also, how long are we going to have these fucking dogs for?
Maybe two weeks.
Yeah.
You fucking cocksuckers.
Hey, hey, hey.
You're not going to do anything.
Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, hey, hey.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey, how do you think you got inside of that house?
Okay.
Yeah.
Cool it out there.
I'm not going to do anything.
We're going to take care of them, not you.
Because that's what I said.
You said I'm not doing this?
No, I just said, oh, I'm not doing anything.
I don't want to do anything.
There was like, there was a piece of poo I saw earlier today.
Leave it.
I acted as if it was like I had seen it before.
Yeah.
I mean, like it was a part of like a cup holder or something.
You know what you should do?
You should, you should put like a little something in the poo to let them know that you saw it.
Yeah.
A little flag.
A little momento.
A little tiny flag.
Yeah, yeah.
A little Filipino flag.
A little Confederate flag.
Yeah.
Little Confederate flag, right?
Just to know, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's been seized.
It's been seized.
And it's yours to, and it's yours to pick up.
Right.
What are the dog's names?
Do we name the dogs?
The pit bull is Bebe.
That's what, you know, homeless people.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And the Chihuahua is Lady.
Homeless, she probably wanted to say baby.
Baby comes up Bebe.
Bebe.
What's the other ones called?
Lady.
Of course.
And they rhyme because you can't say that many words.
Lady, baby.
Yeah.
Bebe, lady.
The laziest fucking name.
Bebe, lady.
Yeah, exactly.
You don't even know which one they're calling.
I know.
Bebe, lady, ka bebe, rebe.
You ever like run into a homeless person and they start talking gibberish, but then you
agree with them?
All the time.
Hey man, the doka ain't eatin' and he doesn't know why.
And you're like, I agree.
He doesn't know why.
Yeah, I'm always.
And the toka, the toka needs to go back to the fucking house and they go, oh yeah, toka,
toka.
Right?
And then you're like, you're in this conversation with a fucking homeless person.
Yeah.
Dude, I was in Hawaii, bro.
And bro, so I'm walking to, you know, I had eight days off.
Yeah.
In the middle there.
Yeah.
You know, and they're like, you know, you have eight days off.
No one's really walking around.
There's nothing to do.
Yeah.
What about the beach?
You can't go to the beach?
No, because where they have us, they have us at the docks.
Oh.
There's no beach there.
It's like boats.
Right.
Right.
Right.
It's beautiful.
No, it's still pretty.
I love boats.
Yeah, you like big boat guy.
Not a big boat guy.
But you don't like boats at all.
But visually they're not, it's not like seeing like, you know, industrial pipes.
At least it's not trash.
Ka-ka.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I go, you know what today?
I can't just sit here all day.
I'm going to go for a little walk.
You know, get some nature in.
Yeah.
Soak in the sun.
Get your steps.
And get the vitamins.
I got that.
Yeah.
Well, vitamin D.
Vitamin energy.
Very helpful.
So anyway, I put on my fucking.
Oh, I have these.
I went, you know, I've been going clothes shopping online.
Yeah.
I've been buying these.
You know, those tights.
What do you mean?
Like Lululemon?
Yeah.
Yeah.
But I'm getting different brands.
I'm good.
I got tights from Nike, Fila.
And I also got that tights from Superdry.
Yeah.
They're really super, you know, the super, super tight.
Yeah.
The super tight ones, right?
Yeah.
You know how Jocoy will wear shorts over it?
Yeah.
I don't do that.
I go full-blown tight.
Okay.
So they see it.
They see everything.
So they see the knuckles sticking right out.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
And wear a tight shirt, right?
And that's, oh, for some reason, I always wear a beanie.
That's my thing because I'm wearing a mask.
So I want some people maybe to recognize me.
I was just going to say, you want to make sure people know who you are.
Right.
With the glasses.
And so sometimes I'll get it.
You have people drive by.
What's up?
They're friends, right?
I mean, what's up?
Yeah.
You recognize me?
Right.
So then I'm walking around this fucking homeless guy rides a bike toward me.
He goes, hey, man, be happy, be free, take off your mask.
Wow.
And he rides by, right?
And I, like, all of a sudden I was just like, you know, because I wanted to say something.
I couldn't even get it out.
He was on his bike and I was trying to get it out, but he was still, he was cruising.
And I turned around and soon he was gone.
Right.
So I couldn't even say what I want to say.
What did you want to say?
I was going to lie.
You know, I was lying.
My friend Randy Smith died from it.
He was 26 and he was healthy, like full blown lie.
Right.
You know, he was a fucking triathlete to the quad athlete and he's a fucking, he's
a cruncher, man.
And he's a champion and he was healthy.
He had no pre-mortalities.
Right.
Right.
Right.
And he died from it just to lie.
Right.
Just to shake it up.
Shake it up.
But as soon as I was turning to say that he was gone, man.
Yeah.
So it kind of sit with you all day.
Yeah.
It sat with me all day, bro.
And he won that little war.
I almost got beat up in my own neighborhood.
Why?
I, this guy, I, you know what you do?
I do the white guy thing when somebody drives too fast.
I go like this.
I love when you do that.
I do that.
I love your white guy thing.
Yeah.
I love your guy.
I love it.
So this guy flies by me in a, in like a dusty, old, dirty, disgusting pickup truck.
Yeah.
And I, this thing, you know?
Yeah.
One of these.
Yeah.
That, you know, flip there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I start walking and then I hear.
Yeah.
I love when that happens.
He backs up and gets right next to me and I've got my little dog, my little tiny dog.
Yeah.
I love your dog.
And I'm, and I'm scared and nervous.
And I see this dude is massive.
And I'm thinking, great.
And now I'm going to get beat up for being, you know, annoyed in my own neighborhood.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And he goes, honest, honest way, he goes, did I do something wrong?
I go, you sort of going fast.
He goes, oh, okay.
Did you flick me off?
No, no, no.
I was like, you know, annoyed it.
And then, and then I did lie.
He goes, you got kids here or something?
I go, yes.
My family, I have kids.
We live right here.
Yeah.
We always lie.
We have little kids.
You have to lie.
And he goes, oh, my bad.
Okay.
I'll slow down.
I was like, thank you very much.
And he walks up to me and says, you know, I'm not lying.
I have a dog.
He looks up at me and goes, we don't have kids.
I was so scared.
He was a Mexican.
He was huge.
He seemed like a Mexican.
Jacked.
Yeah.
Dude, he, I mean like shaved head, tats up on that.
And he goes, did I do something wrong?
And I was like, fuck, I'm going to get beat up in my own neighborhood.
Yeah.
He beat the shit out of me.
But I lied.
Said I had kids.
Right out of it.
Fine.
If I said I don't have kids, then he would have been like, oh, then don't be a bitch.
And he would have kicked the shit out of me.
We have little, little children here.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You have to protect the neighborhood.
One of them is blind in a wheelchair.
Yeah.
Sometimes he rolls out in the street and he just, where am I?
Yeah.
He's been hit like four times.
I know.
The poor guy.
We're trying to help him out.
So the guy, how you seen that guy before?
I've seen the truck in the neighborhood.
He's working on one of the houses up the street.
Dude, there is a house they've been working on for the two years that I've been in my
neighborhood.
Two years.
The rumor I heard was the couple started it together and then split.
So they just stopped and now they're finishing the house.
And I just can't, like at this point, just leave it.
It's all, you lost.
Yeah.
Like just to stop.
Yeah.
Stop the house.
Yeah.
Set it on, get the, here's what you do.
You pay a guy to burn it to the ground and you get the insurance.
Right.
I know one of these guys.
You're good fellas.
You're good fellas.
I know one of these guys.
Burn the fucking, that bar down.
Burn it.
Yeah.
Burn it by the way.
It's so funny when you said that, it's like when I first moved into our house, right?
I've never had neighbors really and I've never talked to neighbors.
Well, cause you before in the condo, you didn't.
Yeah.
Condo is also, I've just not, I don't like small talk and I'm also like a weird little
fucking guy.
So anyway, we, you know, we're packing one day and this guy comes up, this is before
the fucking pandemic.
Yeah.
And he's like this balding kind of fatter older guy.
He goes, what's up man?
I'm cliff angle.
And I go, what?
What is that name?
Right.
Cliff man.
I've seen, we've done that commercial in 88, 98.
Oh, wow.
Right.
We used to see auditions all the time and welcome to the neighborhood.
So this guy knows you.
Right.
Right.
I go, oh.
Yeah.
Yeah, good.
And he goes, yeah.
So anyway, you know, we have these pow wows.
I go, no.
And I just walked back up.
By cliff angle.
I left cliff angle.
Cliff angle.
I just made up the name.
I know.
I don't wanna say his real name.
Okay.
Okay.
Because I make up names.
And whenever I make up a name, they always come out like names you've never heard before.
Right.
By the way, cliff angle probably is a real guy.
You think so?
Yeah.
But I don't know how to do that.
So I don't talk to anybody.
The guy next to us.
Right.
Is a producer.
A famous, like a famous.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know him.
Oh, okay.
Right.
He produces a lot of comedy sensual shit.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
He's the one that, I don't know if I should say it.
Say it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He'll call.
He's gonna call me and go.
That was inappropriate.
Well, we're not gonna call anybody on this show anymore.
Exactly.
We're not.
Are we?
No.
So we were negotiating.
Yeah.
So I was looking at houses and then in the, in the, in the, in my fucking, um, what's
it called?
The real estate person.
Yeah.
Says, um, you know, the guy that owns the house, he actually know him, but he doesn't
want me to tell you know him because he doesn't want to lower his price.
Oh, wow.
Right.
That's interesting.
It's interesting, right?
Yeah.
I go, yeah, but I could just call him and go, what the fuck are you doing?
Right.
You have his number.
He goes, you cannot tell him.
What?
You're not supposed to know who owns the house before you?
Yeah.
He goes, yeah, I didn't know.
I didn't know.
I don't know.
I didn't know the name even even when he said I knew the name.
Oh.
He knows me.
We've worked together.
You know, when you do a comedy central, whatever, right, you don't know all the producers or
what that.
You don't meet people.
It's a thousand people.
Yes.
He knows who I am.
Right.
You know, I had to pretend that I didn't even, you know what I mean, that I didn't know
that he owned the house until after I bought it.
But even still, you don't know.
But now I do know.
I know who he is now because I went to his house afterwards.
He started inviting me like his parties.
Does he have a nice, a really big nice house?
He does, but he fucked me on the house.
Why you overpaid?
Yes.
Seriously?
You wouldn't budge.
So when you go to his house, when he throws parties, steal stuff.
Oh, yeah.
Just take shit.
Yeah, but Jeff Ross is somebody, they're all there.
Take shit from him too?
Why the fuck that guy?
Yeah.
Let people come inside.
You go inside his house, take stuff.
Yeah.
And then the guy next to me is an old man, you know, the old man.
He's the.
Oh God.
Does he complain?
Yeah.
I have my dog on the back.
He does.
You don't like him.
Yeah.
And all of a sudden like.
He's white.
I'll look around.
I'll go, he's not here.
And then, you know, I'm with the dogs and all of a sudden I'll hear, Hey man, keep
the dogs down.
He's piecing.
And I'll go, where the fuck is it?
And I'll look up and he's in a tree coming down.
You know what I mean?
Right?
And then like another dog, I won't see him.
I'll go, Hey, buddy, you know, you can keep the dogs down.
I'll look around and he's underneath like a bush.
You know what I mean?
Pop popping up.
I've just been hanging out under here.
Yeah.
He's the worst.
You don't like him either, do you?
No.
He's a white guy, isn't he?
Yeah.
Yeah.
What is his name?
Do you know his name?
No, we don't know his name.
Does he ever say anything to you?
No, he doesn't.
He doesn't.
He thinks this one.
Better now.
You better not say anything to you.
Break his leg.
People like delivery people.
They think that she is like a handicap mute.
They're like, I dropped off a package to your handicap daughter.
And this girl came out, you know what I mean?
This girl came out like, I didn't speak English.
I go, yeah, but she's normal.
No, but she's just like all, you know what I mean?
Are you sure her eyes are weird?
Yeah.
I don't know if you can trust her.
Yeah.
What did you do while Tito was in Hawaii?
I played games, studied school.
You didn't do any fucking school work.
Don't lie.
Three days is the one.
I know that's why I should.
Three days, man.
You don't do school work.
I do.
You do?
Yeah.
I figure you just take the test and you ace it.
So we didn't talk about, there's so much that went on, man.
Yeah, we got to talk about so much.
We didn't talk about the capital riots.
Yeah.
We didn't talk about the election.
Well, I got hurt in the capital riots.
I fell off of the top.
About a good bit.
I was climbing.
I know.
No.
I didn't get in.
I know.
Because you had to climb that wall?
It's so steep.
It's so slippery that wall, you know what I mean?
And other people had like ropes and different things, right?
Yeah, materials.
And then I took a fucking, a fucking, a pole.
And those windows.
So thick.
Thick as fuck, bro.
This big.
And then I created a hole and then I got from the other side, right in my eye.
You did a little fucking pepper spray right in my eye.
So much.
So I had to back up like, oh fuck, you know what I mean?
This revolution ain't working, you know?
And so we had to stop.
Yeah, but I've been obsessed with that.
You know, it's like, what I've been obsessed with is, you know, when they're caught up
in the moment, right?
And they're like, yeah, this is it.
You know, right?
They actually thought that they could overturn and then like take over the government.
Right.
And then, and then, you know, they got, went home.
They don't didn't realize the consequences.
Yeah, I know.
Right.
They probably, you know, what, 20 years?
Yeah.
Right.
You broke into a federal building.
I know.
Are you out of your mind?
Out of your mind?
You would think that you would, that would be in your head.
Like, is this?
No, because they think there's power in the masses.
They think they can't get all of us.
You know how, like when you were, when you were at a party and a house party and the
cops show up.
Yeah.
And you're like, if we all run, they're probably not going to get most of us.
All right.
That's how they feel.
They're like, they're not going to catch me.
They're going to get like two or three people.
Yeah, but that was back in the day when there was no cameras.
Social media and cameras.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, these people are like on their fucking hand.
What's up?
What's up?
We're at the Capitol.
Larry.
Yep.
Cousart.
Yeah.
The guy that works at Walgreens.
Wednesday to Saturday.
7 to 8 p.m.
Yeah.
It's me.
And they're just like.
So stupid.
And I know what they're doing.
They're bragging to the other.
They're other friends that have the same ideology.
Right.
They're stuck at home.
Right.
Probably being envious.
Like, I should be there.
Or too fat to even leave.
They're probably, you know.
Get me.
Okay.
Sorry.
Okay.
So let me.
Babble.
Oh my God.
I heard you're using Babble a lot, my friend.
See.
See.
See.
Yes.
What?
That's what you've learned.
I knew you knew that before.
No.
First of all, it's Italian.
See.
Oh.
Okay.
So Babble is a learning mechanism.
Yes, it is.
For learning languages.
Yeah.
15 minute lessons.
All right.
15 minute lessons.
And it's a mechanism.
It's a wonderful mechanism.
It's Irish.
Me and my wife.
That's all.
Yeah.
We're using Babble genuinely to learn.
It's easy to use, my friends.
And also it used sometimes, you know how like a lot of these language mechanisms, right?
Teach you how to speak in a very like clinical and like way.
Right.
But Babble teaches you how to speak in street.
Street slang.
Street slang.
Right.
You'll pick.
Normal, how normal people talk.
Right.
And they design it with practical.
It's real world is what they call it.
Real world conversations in mind.
So it's not just like, table is hard.
Yes.
Babble is created by over a hundred language experts.
Babble is great.
All jokes aside, you can choose from 14 different languages, Spanish, French, Italian, German
and many, many more.
I am doing Italian right now.
Truthfully.
I am actually trying to learn Italian.
That's great.
Because I'm bad at it.
Yeah.
And the speech recognition technology helps you improve your pronunciation and accent.
Watch.
You ready?
Go ahead.
You ready?
Look at me.
Yeah.
Look at me.
Barmigiano.
I feel like I'm in Godfather.
Oh my God.
That's amazing.
Barmigiano.
That's a three month Babble subscription.
You'll get an additional three months for free, Bob.
Take it away.
I'm going to take it.
That's six months, right?
So right now, when you purchase a three month Babble subscription, you'll get additional
three months for free.
That's pretty good.
That's six months for the price of three.
Did you just say that?
I did.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just go to babble.com and use the promo code.
Bad friends.
That's babble.com code, bad friends for a extra three months free.
That's right.
Right now, when you purchase a three month Babble subscription, you'll get an additional
three months for free.
That's six months for the price of three.
Just go to babble.com and use promo code, bad friends.
That's b-a-b-b-e-l.com code.
Bad friends.
That's right.
For an extra three months free, Babble language for life.
Babble language for life.
Put your box.
Put your box.
That's right.
Do you love me?
I love me.
I love me so much.
I just got this literally this morning.
I got pulled pork, ground beef.
I got chicken.
I got St. Louis ribs.
It's so good.
I'm offering a rack of St. Louis ribs, a pack of bacon, pack of pulled pork for free in
your first box, which I got today.
So good.
We love it.
We get put your box once a month.
Ships right to my front door.
Ships right to your front door.
We have all kinds of meats as well.
It's my favorite.
Look, if you're a meat eater, this is the way to go.
It's high quality meat at a better price than you get at the grocery store.
Oh my God.
It's high quality.
You don't have to go to the grocery store, which is the best thing.
And there's always food there for you in the free.
Every month.
Okay, go ahead.
This is a curated selection of high quality meat right to my home.
All meat is free from antibiotics and it did it hormones.
No, added.
Added hormones.
Okay.
How many pounds of meat come?
Oh my God.
Nine to 11 pounds of meat.
Enough for 24 individual meals.
That's a lot.
Pack or fresh?
No, it's packed fresh.
And it should froze in a vacuum sealed.
So it stays that way.
Yeah.
Look, I customized my box and I go with one of theirs.
Either way.
It's the best meat shipped to my door.
It's one less chip to the grocery store.
Like I said, it's 100% grass-fed beef, free range chicken, heritage pork, also.
Listen, I'm not going to read it.
I just want to say it's the best meat in the world.
Just get it.
It's delicious.
I literally do.
I use it and I love it.
And I used it before we even got them on this show.
Butcher Bucks are going to get the highest quality meat around for about six bucks a meal,
which is incredible.
So right now you can get a free rack of St. Louis Ribs, a pack of bacon and a pack of
pulled pork off your first box.
That's one rack of St. Louis Ribs, one pack of bacon and one pack of pulled pork for
free in the first box.
That's great.
All you got to do is go to butcherbox.com slash bad friends.
That's butcherbox.com slash bad friends.
Butcherbox.com slash bad friends.
Everything's been so chaotic and everybody's dying.
Hank Aaron died.
Larry King died.
Oh my God.
Today Larry King died.
Alex Trebek died, you know, a month ago.
And they got the new guy, Ken Jennings, doing Jeopardy.
He's nice, but it's not Alex Trebek.
What are you going to do?
Stop the show.
No.
The franchise.
I know.
Well, then they should get the hologram Alex Trebek in there.
Because dude, okay, listen, let's look at Family Feud.
Yes, Steve.
Richard Dawson, right?
Yeah.
Kiss people on the mouth.
You used to grab girls' breasts.
Grab girls' breasts.
He goes, welcome.
Hey, good luck.
100 people.
We asked.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They would do the speed run or the, you know what I mean, fast money, right?
And he'd be next and go, good luck, right?
Right on TV and people were just like, yay, right?
He didn't give a fuck.
He's assaulting her.
Yay.
Yeah.
But back then it was okay.
No, no one cared.
Yeah, yeah.
And then you had several different hosts.
Five.
Five, I think.
Before, like before Steve Harvey.
Yeah.
He is killing it on that show.
He is.
He's so funny on that show.
Yeah.
But that's because the show involves humor.
Right.
Jeopardy isn't funny.
It's still, you have to.
Richard Dawson isn't a funny guy at FYI.
He was back then.
He was okay funny.
Because he, in the middle of asking, he would just honk a tune.
All right.
I know, but that's, okay.
But what I'm saying though is, is that you'll find a guy eventually.
I don't know, man.
That's a hard, he, that, the reason that I think it's tough with Jeopardy is because
how, how do you read a question in that way that he used to that was like, he was intelligent
so you believed he knew the answer even if I don't know if he ever did.
And then also it was like, he sounded like a, it was like a book.
It sounded like it was pre-made.
All those questions were like perfect for him to read.
And anybody else that does it sounds like when Andres asks, like Andres, ask us a trivia
question.
Watch.
Look at how hard it is.
Hey guys.
See what I mean?
I'm turning the channel immediately.
Hey guys.
Gone.
I know.
Finish it.
This question though.
Who directed Elf?
John Favreau.
No.
No.
Who is Adam McKay?
John Favreau.
Damn.
Bobby Wins.
Did you really think it was Andrew McKay?
Adam McKay?
Adam McKay.
No, I didn't know who fucking directed Elf.
John Favreau did it?
No.
I mean, I know now.
Yeah.
You could take the job, B. That was pretty good.
You know, John Favreau is…
Favreau.
Whatever.
Favreau.
Favreau.
Favreau.
What a career.
Rudy.
What a career though.
I'm saying he started in Rudy as like the dumpy best friend.
I know, right.
Right.
He was in that.
Huge.
Yeah.
And then because…
Swingers.
Swingers is what did it though.
Well, that's what.
Because they…
See, I think Swingers is what did Vince as a movie icon.
I think it made Favreau a piece of the business forever.
Right.
But no one knew who the fuck those two were.
No, I know.
I know.
Fucking swingers.
They fucking wrote that thing, produced that thing, right?
I know.
And they made that thing happen.
Yeah.
It's like that, you know, you and I might do a Netflix movie.
Yes.
We're going to make that happen.
No, we have to do it.
Yeah, yeah.
Because we…
Because the fans want us to do something together.
We've got to put fucking…
No.
I'm not putting her in.
Can you act?
No.
Can you act?
Can you be the pizza girl?
Just come over one day and just knock, knock.
Let's audition you right now.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, so we're…
All right, we're hanging out playing video games and you're dropping off pizza.
Let's go.
Yeah, yeah.
Come on.
Yeah.
Well, let's do some dialogue before.
Okay.
Go ahead.
So what line is it when she interrupts?
So…
The line that she…
I'll give you the line, all right?
Yeah.
Dag Nabbit, right?
The red guys behind the wall.
Okay, that's my line.
That's your line, right?
Okay.
All right, here we go.
So I'm going to be like…
God, man.
Internet janky?
Yeah, I don't know what's going on.
I mean…
Mom!
Mom!
Yeah, yeah.
I'm sorry, dude.
I know.
Maybe she should get off her tablet.
I'll get that.
Get down, get down, get down.
The red guy's behind the wall.
He's behind the tag.
Dag Nabbit, he's right behind the…
Ding dong.
Oh.
We have a doorbell.
Why would somebody yell Ding dong?
Yeah, they just yelled Ding dong at the door.
They just yelled Ding dong at the door.
What a weird pizza person.
Yeah, yeah.
Hello.
I'll get it.
Hello.
You got it.
Hello.
Hi.
Did you order…
Pizza?
Yeah, we did.
What are you saying?
Three hours ago.
Yeah, of course we ordered pizza.
Yeah, of course we did.
Three hours ago.
I'm sorry.
This is your pizza.
Oh, where were you?
Traffic.
Really?
It's two blocks away?
The dominoes.
It was still traffic.
There was an accident.
All right.
Anyway…
Time out.
We don't have to pay for this, do we?
You need…
You need to tip me.
Wow.
Wow.
It's like a ransom or something.
Wow.
All right.
How much do you want?
Yeah, what do you want?
All right.
Wow.
That's pretty reasonable.
Yeah.
All right.
Here.
Just throw it on the ground.
Here.
Pick it up.
Pick it up.
Thank you.
Have a good day.
She's hired.
She's hired.
You're hired for the gig.
Really good.
I think you're good.
Yeah.
You know what?
Pizza people always bow before they leave.
Bow.
Thank you.
There you go.
Yeah, you have to bow.
That's how you close out a pizza scene.
All right.
We'll do it.
We'll make the movie with you.
We'll do it.
You know, you annoyed me.
Did you miss me?
I didn't know.
I miss you now.
I was trying to rework my relationship with you.
Yeah.
You know, in Hawaii.
Because I want to be honest.
It's honest.
I was reworking my relationship with you.
Yeah.
At the end of the day, I realized we were meant to do this together.
And it's a good team.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Yeah.
But I don't want to bring it back up, but there was something that you said in a previous
podcast that I was a little irritated by, right?
Yeah.
We're not going to bring it up.
And I had to rework that in my mind.
But then as the days went on, here's what did it.
I worked you through that existential crisis that you had.
Yeah.
So here's what did it, though.
That made me go, oh, that.
So I hate to admit this.
So I was there because every other day I had to wake up, even my day is off and I had to
get a COVID test.
Yeah.
You know, in the morning, like if there was a 930 COVID pickup, right?
Sometimes I would be there with other actors.
Yeah.
And there was a young actress, not really that young, but a good actress that you know.
Oh, yeah.
I didn't know her.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And she's like, hey, hey, are you Bobby Lee?
And I go, yeah.
And she goes, I'm so and so, you know, and I wasn't, you know, I'm friends with all these
people that you're friends with, right?
She didn't bring your name up.
And then so, you know, during all the COVID tests, one time she was talking about podcasting
and I go, she goes, you have a podcast, right?
I go, yeah, I have one with, I do one with myself and my girlfriend.
And then I have another one with another comedian.
She's like, who?
I go, Andrew Santino.
And she went, googly-eyed.
She said, oh my God, he's so fangy.
I swear to God.
No, yeah.
No, I'm being real.
Didn't we text you or called you?
You did.
You did.
You did.
Oh my God, he's so funny.
I know him.
He's great.
And the other actress was like, Andrew Santino?
And I go, holy fuck.
It was annoying me.
Yeah, I know.
I go, I'm right here, bitch.
You know what I mean?
I'm here too, bitch.
She knew who you were.
Right.
Yeah.
So anyway, they were, they were really excited, right?
And they told stories.
Yeah.
With you involved.
So that's when I went, oh, he's known.
You know what I mean?
Where it's like, now he's just not known in the comedy world, because they're actresses.
They're not comedians.
Yeah, I've worked.
They're legitimate actresses.
The one you text me with, we worked here.
That's how we met.
Yeah.
I mean, she's been in Aaron Sorkin things.
She's incredible.
She's incredible.
She's such a good actress.
Great actress, right?
So when you, I'm around like elitist actresses and actress, right?
And they knew me.
And then they get excited about you, right?
It makes me realize, oh, he might have some other heat than I'm not aware of.
If I didn't have heat, it would not be fun.
If I didn't have heat, you wouldn't want to do it with me either.
I don't know what heat means to me.
Yeah, you do.
You know what I'm saying?
It's that you calculated your mind, right?
Yeah.
Even before you even asked me to do this, right?
Who would I team up with that would be the best in terms of chemistry?
Well, not heat.
To me, the scale was who was the most fun?
Who was the funniest to me?
I understand that.
There's a couple of open micers, right?
Yeah.
That I could say to myself, I think I could do a podcast with that person.
That's the most offensive thing you've ever said to me.
Like in the most genuine way.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You could do a podcast just with any random open mic guy?
I'm just, there have been.
But I would never ask them because they don't have heat.
That's insane.
That's not insane.
It's insane.
What do you mean?
What?
Go ahead.
I literally didn't mean to offend him, but now that I did, this makes me excited.
What hurts me the most is that.
I actually offended you.
Go ahead.
I can't yell because my voice today.
Yeah, yeah, go ahead.
Which is so annoying because it's not on my brand.
There are open micers that I've seen and went, I would have better chemistry with them and
it would be a better podcast, but they don't have heat.
You know what I mean?
And it's like, you know.
Name one.
I don't even memorize their names.
I just, I've seen them and I go, yeah, that would be better, but he has no heat.
So therefore.
You know what I mean?
So it's like.
I know what you're doing.
It's not, and it's not working.
It is working.
No, it's not.
Because I know your face and there are things that you do with your face.
Yeah.
Right.
You know, you know, it's so funny because.
Wait.
So.
Let me finish.
Let me finish.
Let's play your game.
No, no, no.
Let me finish.
Whatever the same.
Let me just do whatever I say, please.
So, you know, there's two things.
I, and this is something I realized before I met, like I've worked with you on this,
right?
That when, when white people have crow's feet, which is these wrinkles here, right?
Yes.
I always looked at, looked at that as a marker of someone being happy because they smile all
the time and that's what creates their crow's feet in their eyes.
Right?
And the first person I've sped where no rage does that too.
Rage creates crow's feet because, you know, you smile, right?
But your smile is through about, through a rage.
Yes.
And anger is.
Yes.
So you'll smile like, you know what I mean?
This is going to get crazy.
You know what I mean?
Which creates the crow's feet because your crow's feet isn't from rage.
No, it is.
Yeah.
You're right.
And you know what I'm saying?
I think you misinterpreted what I was saying.
What I'm saying is, is that let's go, go back to us, right?
Is, is that, you know, when I was with.
You know, people, people were worried that we were going to stop the show.
Why?
Because of your existential crisis that you had on the show.
People were like, they're going to stop.
It's going to be over.
And then people watched Tiger Belly and they were like, what did you say to Bobby?
What did you do to Bobby?
Nothing.
Dude, dude, to do.
And let me say this.
I didn't know what I said last time.
I don't know either.
Let me say this.
I missed you a lot when you're in Hawaii.
Oh my God.
I thought about you every day.
Holy shit.
I had one nightmare about you.
What is it?
I had a nightmare you died in Hawaii and I didn't call you.
But I was going to call you to tell you.
I'm not kidding.
I had a nightmare you got hit by a car.
Yeah.
Walking to dinner.
Did you walk to dinner one night?
Every night.
There's no one.
Where else am I going to go?
So I'm psychic.
You were walking to dinner.
You got hit by like a, you know those three wheeled cars?
Two in the back, one in the front.
Yeah.
Hawaii.
They're all over the place.
Yeah.
You get hit by one.
Yeah.
And a big Kowana guy gets, you know, oh, bro, I didn't see you, bro.
Yeah.
I'm coming back from the coffee or the pineapple, whatever.
Yeah.
And you're like, and you were, and you were all twisted up.
And he was like, shit, dude, I think you're dying, bro.
And you were like, and I am, and you could tell you were dying.
And he said, any last words?
And you were like, tell Andrew Santino, I'm sorry.
And then I love him.
And he means the world to me.
And then you were out.
And then you died.
And I woke up and I ran to my phone and I was going to text you.
But I didn't.
And I knew you were okay.
All right, Andres, what's the game?
Let me, let me, let me, let me add onto that, please.
Give me an opportunity to add on.
And just to let the fans know.
Let the fans know.
That number one, I didn't, I don't remember what I did last time.
Yeah.
You had like a breakdown almost.
Okay.
No, it was honest.
It was great.
I'm just, I'm honest today.
Yeah.
So I don't know.
I remember number two.
That was also because we had a backlog.
So it just got to the point where we were doing too many episodes.
Just, you know, you do tiger belly and then I do, and you do whiskey and we do so many
in a week.
It was a lot.
Eventually it's like, you go, you just go, I don't know what else to fucking say.
Well, yeah.
Even, you know, I don't even know.
We were, we were doing too many.
We're too many.
And also it's like, you need to, you know, take breaks so you can, you know, re-energize.
100%.
So anyway, and number two, you're not, you, the only way this will end.
You know what I mean?
Is if we just physically can't do it anymore in terms of like, we're too busy or, you know,
or somebody dies or something happened.
I mean, I have been thinking about death in Hawaii a lot.
You know, I downloaded a book called The Certainty of Death.
Yeah.
It was written, I forgot who it was in the 70s.
You know, I've been thinking about death a lot.
So that's not, no truth.
I did have a dream.
It's really weird that you say that because I, I've never thought about death as much
as I did when, when I was in Hawaii.
That's why I had a dream.
It's really weird.
We are connected.
Look at me.
I hate, don't.
Look at me in the eyes.
You can say whatever you want.
I want to look at you though.
Look at me in the eyes.
Please.
We are connected.
So what I'm saying is-
What were you thinking about that?
But I did have a dream about you dying in Hawaii.
It's weird.
And, and what, here's what got me out of it.
Yeah.
It's real.
So I was thinking about death all the time.
Cause you have, when you have eight days off and you're alone.
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
You're just walking around.
Netflix.
You start thinking about death.
Yeah.
And then I, I said, okay, so I'm 49.
You know, I'm not the healthiest guy in the world.
Let's just, you know.
You're not unhealthy.
Yeah.
But let's say Maradona died.
You know, Maradona.
Correct.
He died and he was 60.
He just recently died a couple of months ago.
Yeah.
Let's suppose I'm like, cause I, he has the same body as I do too.
Maradona.
He's a little soft.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, he's just, you know, poorly, poly-ish.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
He did a lot of drugs.
He doesn't eat well.
So I said, if I, if, so I'm, I'm just going to take every moment and just milk every moment
and just be grounded in, in, in the present moment.
That's cool.
It's the only way to do it.
That's awesome.
If you're thinking about death, then it's, your whole day is fucked.
Yeah.
That, what do you do?
It's not good.
Yeah.
What's the game?
The game.
We can do it next time for next time.
No, no, no.
We're doing the game.
I think we're going to do the game.
We're doing the game.
He spoke post.
He spoke post.
Has done it again for this winter, my friend.
They have.
In an all new lineup, essential box of awesome collection for guys.
Do you like, you like boxes?
Dude, I love it.
In fact, I, I got the Weekender bag from these guys because, uh, I like to pack stuff
away in a nice little comfy, uh, package too, man.
You got a package.
Yeah.
The carbon one for, they have face ointments and washes.
Oh, that's so good.
And your face looks nice.
So, uh, I do love bespoke post.
They've sent me a bunch of stuff.
Um, they also sent me an outdoor kit because you know, I like camping and, uh, they sent
me a little mini lantern as well as a field hatchet and a cool outdoor curated kit for
not just for camping for any kind of outdoor stuff and it's really cool for hiking.
There's a certain style of jacket that I was looking for.
It was like, oh, it's like a Western indigo, a jacket, a style.
And I got it on Beastalk.
I couldn't believe it.
They just have really like cool, um, choices, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
Stuff.
It's like all stuff that I, I like.
Well, they also have, and they also have stuff.
I mean, honestly, it's not just one category.
They also have like, um, CBD ointments, um, they also have great bar kit stuff that I
really like.
Uh, they've sent me a whole bunch of stuff.
You should check it out.
Uh, go to boxofawesome.com and, uh, take that quiz yourself to find out what can be curated
for you.
They're post only sends guys the best of every month, no matter what you're into.
Box of awesome has you covered style and grooming, uh, barware, cooking tools, outdoor gear.
They've got collections for every part of your life.
It's really cool.
I know.
It's, it's, it cuts the time too.
Yeah.
Because if you want high quality stuff, right?
Yeah.
Right.
You have to go around, when you go to a store, you have to go around a billion to ask questions.
They all have it in these little boxes that are perfect.
It is really nice.
It's, I mean, listen, it's very curated, uh, it's very, it's very high end and it's
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Yeah.
Do it.
Raycon.
Oh my God.
Without Raycon, you know, I brought my Raycons to Hawaii.
Oh, you did?
Yeah.
And I watched, um, a bunch of new shows on Netflix on it on my iPad and it's so clear
and crisp.
The sound is good.
And the music is amazing.
The bass is good on it.
My favorite, um, um, your, your, your, your buds, your buds, yeah, it's my favorite.
No, it is.
It's a, they're, they're probably the best wireless earbuds I've had, especially for
working out because I like to have stuff on them going on the runs, uh, and on the
hikes and stuff that's easy and compact and like big chunky cases, Raycon's case is small,
sleek, smooth.
It's super cool.
And the sound is honestly incredible.
Also, the, you know, the other brands when you have your, it just doesn't look good in
your ear.
People can notice them.
They're chunky.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Raycons look smooth on your ears, baby.
Right.
They're not like these things.
They're like nice and smooth.
They go right in your little earhole.
And they also have different colorways now.
They have been a bunch of different colors and they have adjustable, uh, the little nodules
that go in your different earhole size because, you know, I got small earholes, you, everybody
knows have huge earholes.
They look great and they sound incredible.
Um, we've talked about them before on this show.
They're great.
We, we love them.
You should pick up a pair and they're significantly more affordable than some of their competitors.
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Okay.
So in front of you, you guys have a couple cards and they are, uh, describing an animal
and you guys have to, without any miming, only by doing sounds, you have to make that
animal happen, you know, and the other people have to guess which animal it is.
I can't wait.
You can't mime?
That's impossible.
It's just the sounds.
Just the sounds.
This game is, let me just say about this game.
This is the kind of game that you play where you're taking intermediate or beginning improv
classes.
Even before that.
Like, working light exercise.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is terrible.
All right.
Let's hear Rudy.
So let's hear Rudy.
That's the funniest part, by the way, is that you and I are like, this is so stupid.
We're going to play.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right.
Time starts now.
Go.
How do we even know if they make sounds?
Yeah.
My second one is impossible.
What is it?
I know.
I already know.
What is it?
I know.
It's an elephant.
No.
All right.
Don't yell at me.
Can I give a hint?
No.
No.
I know.
I know what it is.
What?
Octopus.
Yeah.
It's octopus.
No way.
Because when she does this.
You can't use the hands.
You can't use the hands.
You have to use hands.
Hands is the only one.
How about this?
We try voice first.
If it doesn't do it, then the second is hands.
Okay.
Sounds good.
All right.
All right.
My first one is easy.
Donkey.
My second one is...
This one really doesn't make noise.
My second one doesn't make a noise.
The second one is like...
Whoa.
A bear?
I know what it is.
I know what it is.
It's this kind of...
It's a giraffe.
No, no, no.
It's a giraffe.
They're really big.
You can't describe it.
They're rhino.
Rhino.
Rhino.
I know.
Buffalo.
Buffalo.
Buffalo.
Listen.
The sound he makes sounds like what he is.
Okay, go.
Moo.
Oh, cow.
No.
Obviously not a cow.
Whoa.
Ready?
Yeah.
Listen to the sound he makes.
Moo.
Moo.
Moo.
Moo.
Moo.
Moo.
Moo.
Moo.
Moo.
Moo.
Moo.
Moo.
Bear.
Moo.
Bear.
Panda.
Panda.
Listen to the letters.
All right, yeah, yeah.
Moo.
Moo.
Moose.
Moose.
You're a fucking moose.
Yeah, yeah.
All right, my turn.
All right, you go.
Bling.
Bling.
Bling.
Oh, come on.
What?
That's too easy.
Genius.
Genius.
Me too.
Me too.
I've never heard the notes.
Well, it's so we can see it.
Oh, yeah, yes.
Sorry.
Did you see it?
Not yet.
Okay, go.
Moo.
Moo.
Moo.
Moo.
Moo.
How about this?
Fire.
Fire.
Fire.
Fire.
Fire.
I'm on fire.
Fire.
Fire.
Fire.
Fire.
Fire.
Fire.
Fire.
Fire.
Do the sound again
What is a cow all I sound like I have no idea what do they sound like Andres yeah that game is so dumb
Open with that game. It would have ruined the podcast honestly. I really love the game though. It was pretty good
That's what my house sounds like
That's how many animals are in my fucking house that what was that? That was a koala
Is that their mating sound
Stop that
You did you got the squeak. Yeah, I didn't know they snort like that though. Yeah
Look at this video. I want to show it. I saw this again, and this is you want to really put a smile on your face
Yeah, okay, because I know we pray to the beginning of the episode. Yeah, we're all very spiritual in our own way
And I want to tell you something for the non-believers out there
If you find spirituality in your life, it can fix you watch
I'm not gay no more. I am delivered
So this is an old clip at people on the internet know this but it popped up on my feed somehow again
Yeah, I don't know and it brought so much joy in my heart
I've never seen that before at all really it's the saddest video I've ever seen in my life
Wait a minute George. Can you there's a part where he starts dancing. Do you have the rest of it or no? Is that it?
How great oh my god, that's good. Oh my god. He was shaking out the gay ghosts. I know
Oh shaking. Oh, so when do you think the next time he fucking sucked the dick is that right right after?
Right after so by the way this guy this is an old clip people on the internet
I know it just had to resurface but this guy yeah went back into the interview with his boyfriend like which guy did the guy that
Would just have said that I'm not gay no more like a year later was like look okay. Obviously. I'm gay. I know this is insane
It's so crazy
Here in November of 2014 in the thank-you is it was our holy convocation that we have every year
I was new to the church of God time out. Okay, push by for a second. You could let me tell you something
Yeah, how much God you've got yeah, you're not flipping this guy
God made this by the way God made this human is impossible. He made him beautiful and unique. You're not flipping this
This guy is not gonna fuck. He's not on the fence. No fucking no
No, he's not like
Some other guys right now
That's my biggest problem is that is the idea you were saying it the idea that you're gonna like shake the gay out of somebody
Right, that's the weirdest shit. Who who was insane enough to even say that and people bought it
They're like you can just pray it out. Yeah, and they this is this isn't like
200 years ago. This is like 10. This guy is yeah on the other spectrum of gay
You don't mean like if there was a pendulum of gay. Yeah, he's you know, this is the guy, right?
That does the extra shit. Yeah, he's extra, right like you're coming my ass, right?
He's extra you can't the idea that someone could change you is so funny to me
That's like you could just pray it away. If you just say it's not there. It's not there. Yeah, that's so that's so nuts
Yeah, my neighbor. I told you this right my neighbor went to pray away the gay camp. Yeah, you know what he said to me
What he goes as a in the closet 15 year old boy
What do you think was more heavenly for me?
Going to church with my parents and hiding it or going to a gay camp with a bunch of repressed gay kids in the woods alone
Oh my god, you sent a gay kid. How excited I'd be he was like it was he's like it was a candy store of penis
Oh my god, he's like all we did was blow each other. That's all we did the whole time
He was like why did he's like I can't believe my mom thought that was gonna like get gay out of me
How many counselors do they have there to like keep an eye on them because there's only one by the way all the counselors are also
Oh, no, really? Yeah, they're also like you need they're like religious like you need to get the you need to get I can come
Tuck you in if you need prayer with God Wow, yeah
He was like it's he's like it was basically my parents paid for me to go learn about sex for the first time
And they thought the whole time is like you're going there to get fixed or whatever the fuck
It's kooky shit. It's not cuz I don't know much about religion. Are they more accepting of gays now or no?
Yeah, depends on what religion now because I know in LA, right? They have what's that called mosaic or yeah
Yeah, those types are like that new new age churches new age Christian churches. They're still Christian most Christian
And I know gay guys that go there. Yeah most in a church
Right, and you're like what kind of church are you going to mosaic? Yeah, right? And they just go mosaic does something except me
It does sound like a pretty guy, right? Yeah, no the all the most I would say all Christian
Religions are okay with I mean dude the Pope
openly said
Search this George, but the Pope said something about this new Pope was okay with gay marriage
And I think a lot of the old Catholic Church was angry at him because they were like what he's like who the fuck care
I mean who could fucking?
Who could care less but Pope Francis? Yeah, his belief about same-sex marriage
He doesn't care, but for the longest time it was you know, it was it was I think it's though
I think I think most people in America don't give a shit. I think it's slowly
I think their focus more now. Yeah, religion. Yeah, is the whole abortion thing
Right, that's always shifted. They shifted toward abortion
I think right where it's like I think they they can sit through like you know
I mean cuz at some point with a gay guy at some point. They're like can't stop these gays
I mean we can try to stop these babies
Yeah, I mean dude honest for some reason that popped up today
In my Twitter feed was someone had retweeted like the anniversary when Shanae O'Connor ripped up the picture of the Pope on SNL
Do you remember that?
It was such like a big it was such a end of her career as per second. Well, yeah
Here's a here's a kid at where you're from Ireland these people couldn't be more Catholic, right?
Right, it was like so defamatory
She was trying to send a message not about the Pope himself about the Catholic Church and covering up all the filthy shit that they do
Yeah, but we ruined her for a while. No, it was the end. Yeah, it was over career. Yeah, it was over
Yeah, it was over that one moment was like that's what's hard for me to watch that. Yeah, it was crazy
I'm a huge SNAto Connor fan. Yeah, she was incredible. She still is she I still listen to her music. I don't know any new music
It's good. Yeah, it is. Yeah, but it's like no one listens to it because of that two moments two moments on SNL ruin people's career
That one music wise. Yeah, and Ashley Simpson. Do you remember that?
Yeah, where she lip-synced over the fuck that was can we see that video?
That's maybe one of the funniest videos I've ever seen in my life because the track plays before she gets to sing. Why so watch
see
See
She doesn't know what to do the track started playing before the band could start playing their music
I would have been like this right as soon as right start singing. Let me be the actual. I can't sing my voice
Be be the actual thing do it watch what I do Rudy do it
Just make it up any song go
Oh, you have to do a quick do it again
You have to do a quick that looks so good. Yeah. Yeah, and then people would be like yeah, she got some of the voice
Yeah, maybe just the mic was far away mic. He caught it. That's all. Yeah. Yeah, the mic was you could argue with you know
They might caught it. Yeah, really loud. Yeah, what do you I was and then they lowered it whatever
Yeah, this is a perfect time by the way for me to do something real quick because they know what I'm gonna do
Well, we got sent a song a love ballad for Rudy. Okay
Wait what a guy is in love with her
It's a lot
Okay, okay, this man sent a love ballad for Rudy for Rudy Jules
I got it forwarded to me through our production team and the title literally in the email was I
Don't know
Meaning like I don't know what he's saying. I don't get it. I listen to this no less than
20 times I literally couldn't figure out what he was saying
No offense to the dude. It's a sweet song. I don't know what he's saying
So I said to the guys, okay, we got to like see if we can guess what this dude is saying
Mm-hmm. Okay, let's hear if we can let's see if we can make out what he's trying to say
It's pretty good though, okay
Let's but but I know I want to know what he's saying
So they put together some bad friends are do we think he said take my hanging gun tonight
We die while we dance or tape my Hanukkah tonight. We dine on all the ants. Let's hear it again. Let's hear you
Stop it take it's not a hangout. It's not either one of them. It's I think it's one of them take my hand tonight
Take my hand tonight. Yeah, we don't
Let me sing it to start over right it again
Stop take my hand alone tonight. No, he just goes take my hand
Oh
There it is, okay, okay, then we got that first take my hand tonight. We know he says tonight. Okay, so tonight go ahead
Stop what die we dance. That's what I that's what the first one says. Yeah. Yeah die while we know die
We dance perfect. All right. Let's go to the second piece second piece second piece
Stop
Okay, okay very hard to make out. Yeah, I feel like it's the slender man that
That's some creep. Yeah, let me see the second card George. What does it say? Oh
I'm sorry. That's it right there. They won't run. They won't run the stairs. I want to run the stairs
Or is it gays don't own the dance. They just run the staff. That's what I want. Okay. I want it to be be
Will you sing it for me? Yeah, I can't sing. Go on gays don't own the dance. They just run the staff
All right, yeah, yeah, let's can I read sing the whole song the way it's written out. Here we go, right? Give me the lyrics
I want to say something
I'll go to band camp right because I love
Lo-fi bedroom recording and that's one of the things I follow. That's what this is
That's what it is. I honestly like the song. You like the song. Yeah, it's really cool. Yeah, it's different
Yeah, it's different. I know I just want to know what he said
Yeah, so we're trying to figure out what I would like I like to do now is start from the beginning and have Jules sing the whole thing
I even wrote it for you. Yeah, he did. Okay
What fuck you you're doing it. All right. I don't know what you're trying to do, but this is your song
Okay, you ready?
Start with a
My hanging gun
Tonight we'll dance while we dance
They won't run the stairs
I want to run the stairs
Love me how you would a gun
Work with me
Okay, that's good
Very good
Very good that guy wrote a song for you. How do you feel about it? It's nice. I like it
Let me see the next couple of cards. What's the next one just the cards
The next one was either moth dance dance dance hung tonight's the night we dance dunce dunce dunce tonight's the night we dance
And what's the last is that the last card? I
Send me the song. I really like it send him the song. We just got to figure out what he's saying
It's crazy. Are you are you into this dude? Maybe?
Like could this be a potential date?
Can I see his face?
Do you have his face George?
He's nice guy, you don't know what he looks like then
No, we
Do you know what he looks like? I'll just off-screen. We're not gonna show it on the show, but do you know what he looks like?
No, we don't oh then
No, but we could set it up. Yeah, tell him to send a fucking photo man. Tell him to send a photo man. Yeah
Honestly, it's a fun song. It's a good song, but when I heard it
I was like, I just don't know what he's saying. Yeah tonight's the night we here's where we put a lot of it together
It's called Beauty and the Beast. That's how he titled the song Beauty and the Beast
Is that really? Yeah, 100% then he's ugly. No, no, he's saying she's the beauty. She's the beast. He's the beauty
Oh, he's the beauty. I think he's a male model. Oh, wow. Yeah, you know, I was you know, I ran into a guy in Hawaii and he
He was like this guy. It was socially distanced, but he came up to me was like this large Hawaiian man
and he goes
Bad friends, right? Yeah, I go and we kind of socially distanced talked and he goes
I go, why do you like it? And he goes
It's because you guys
Say things that you know
Society's trying to take away. Hmm. You know, I mean, but I don't see it that way
I mean not I mean do like the things that we say, right? I don't think is like going against
you know
PC culture or no, we're just having fun being us. Yeah, we just two guys talking, right?
But it's not like we purposely
You know, I think he's saying that we just are free with what we talk what we there's certain things like, you know
And we won't say yeah, like go ahead say it right now. We'll beep it go open a mascot, right?
But but you say something
Okay, this is gonna be fun, but here
Okay, ready, but you go first because I trust you you go first go ahead
Go ahead
Uh-huh. Look at me. Yeah
Yeah
Okay, I don't think we say anything bad on the show. No
No, you know what he was saying though. He just says that we come on here and we have a good time and we have fun
Yeah, it's so that is freeing though. It is so nice dude
It's freeing, but you can't do it. There should be a place that you could go and yell racial epithets and cuss words and like in any form
In like a comfortable setting like everyone gets together. You know, they have cat cafes. Yeah
Yeah, you know, and you like buy a coffee and you get the pet random cats. Yeah, like in Japan or like the purge
We have one day one day. You can say whatever you want like the purge. Oh, yeah, just make it November 12th
November 12th is we'll say whatever you want to say, you know, say everybody say yeah, and people walk up to me
Hey, gook and obviously be like hi
Yeah, it's allowed. I think there should be a purge a purge racial epithet cuss word day or yeah, or a cafe would be nice
That's what I'm saying a sign that says like you said, you know, I mean that you whatever you can say whatever you want in this cafe
Right, you know physical no physical harming. No, no, no and by the way, it has to be all in good fun
It's in good fun, right? Yeah. Yeah, like a guy walks in you pay your money. You have to buy a coffee
You know, they make you you have to buy a coffee. You can't just be a loiter. Well, it'd be weird to be standing with your hands by your side being like
They all set the word mask. It's you know, I mean, yeah, we will be all the rules. Yeah, right, right
Wear a mask wear a mask. Yeah come in and you can say whatever you want. Say whatever you want, but it's a time limit
You only get 15 minutes. Yeah, you got to get it all out in 15 minutes
Should we open up a place like that? Call it safe space safe space. We'll call it safe space
Yeah, it's the polar opposite of what safe spaces are right now
You know on college campuses, they have safe spaces where they people feel offended. Do you know about this?
Yeah, I'm no i'm trying to think of myself like if that would work. I don't think it would
Why I don't think anybody would come
Really? Yeah, and I don't think I think I think people would come in and like
Walk in they'll pull me walking like this like but me and you and then what like and it's like and they'll see it like
A mexican person and they go hey
And they won't do it. Let's be honest. Yeah, this this would be only white people that would come and do this
And it's true. Yeah a bunch of racist white people
I know and then we'd film all of it and then we'd sell it on youtube or we'd sell it to some we sell it on netflix blackmail
We'll call it blackmail blackmail
It'll be hosted by kevin hart. Yeah. Hey, welcome back to blackmail
I'm kevin hart. Yeah. Yeah. Check this out. We got this guy saying and we're 38 times
We're about to go to his job and he showed up at his job
I want to say something very genuine real quick if we can
Let's do it because we got a you got emotional in the last episode. I did
Would I say exactly? Well, you had the existential crisis of why are we even doing anything, you know
And people were very supportive and the fans were great. I read some stuff. It's fine. Yeah. Yeah, what I want people to know is
This is always so much fun for us
and
I love it and even when we butt heads or we get
Into little quarrels. I think people have to know that
It's because we love each other. Yeah, today was funny because I woke up and I
Couldn't wait to get here me too and I need to be in that space. Yeah when I have to drag myself out here
It's hard. Well, it's hard. We have tough days. I think we just
We spill it out all the time. So sometimes if we're not having a good day
It plops out. Hmm. Does it feel be honest with me? Yeah, does it feel different that we have a different president?
Or does it feel the same?
um
Honestly, I mean it feels the same. Do you know why it doesn't feel different at all?
because
Um, a it never does when somebody comes in it takes a long time and b
The pandy if if the pandy didn't happen, it probably would feel different
It it it doesn't matter
Not well, what do you mean? None of it matters. I mean, I think maybe like in the long haul
Maybe a certain, you know, legislative, you know, I mean, yeah things that he does, you know
I mean might you know, you might be able to feel the impact a little bit, right?
But in terms of like just day to day. Yeah feelings, right what's going on. It's the same
Yeah, I know all that other stuff is just noise. Yeah, and chatter
Right, and it's like people's opinions and we get caught up in it. It's bullshit at the end of the day
We're okay with anybody really
Yeah, I mean look at the end of the day. It's what what really does this don't lie to you, you know, I mean
Right and and and overthrow the government. I think it is funny that Trump pardoned little Wayne
That may be like the funniest thing I've ever heard of my entire life
Not only was that funny that he didn't pardon any of the writers you think to yourself
Right because he could have
Yeah, could he have yeah?
He went ahead of us could have legally he could have
And they're sitting there like we did that for you and then just to think that he didn't part of them
Yeah, but is that the big how do they not know now so funny that it's like a betrayal?
Like he doesn't give a shit about I think he I think he and on the way out of the helicopter
I think he said am I wrong did he say have a good life?
Yep
Have a good have a good life. Can I tell you something? That's the funniest exit. I've ever heard of my life
Have a good life
Yeah, no, does it feel different honestly? No, it doesn't feel different. Did you think it was going to?
Did you really like think no, it does it does make you think though like why was I so I mean obviously
You know putting kids in cages and all that shit is fucking crazy and it's like maddening you put you put Rudy in a cage
Yeah, yeah, but um
You know and it is it is as a symbol, you know, it is great that he's gone
You know, I hated him. Yeah, yeah, you did, you know, but in terms of just I can't speak on it
He was a family member of ours. Yeah, it's uncle Donnie. Yeah, it's uncle D
But did what implications did it have in my daily personal life?
Not a lot not a lot, right, you know, that's what I'm saying
But you know as a symbol and in terms of he's just a fucking
He represents something that I abhor
right
And I want to say that out loud, but I'm not gonna I abhor certain things. Yeah. Yeah, what is so abhorrent?
I
Abhor white people who think that um, they're entitled, you know to this country and that that that, you know
That they are tied to this country as much more than I am someone that looks like me, you know
And it's like no this country belongs to me as well belongs to everybody and it I honestly do
I don't know anything about career. I fucking honestly
I'm that's all I am is an American. Yeah, you're an American. I breathe it
You know, there we are
We are Americans and except
I know and there's there's several of us
We can make a phone call right now. I do think that's weird that we do work with
to foreigners
Whatever you want to call aliens. Is that what we do?
Mud something
You know what I mean? I don't know what the second term is but mud something
Thanks. Thank you for being a bad friend. Oh, no, hold on one second one second one second
Um, I want Rudy to take us out
And I want will you play that song and I want her all right, so she doesn't fucking care
She didn't give a shit about you, baby
Wait, I should sing she cares about me. Not really go ahead. Do you not care about me? I care. No, she doesn't
I care. She texted me
On on accident. Do you really text him on accident on accident? That's not that's that's caring. No, no
Yeah, this is very funny. She sends me a text. This made me laugh so hard
Rudy
Look at look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Ready?
Hi Annette. We're in the meeting already
And at first I was like I should fuck with her but
Maybe that maybe that's important and I wrote I wrote this is me Rudy
Ha ha and she goes. Oh
Sorry Tito Andrew
And I said all good. How's Hawaii and she said we didn't go with Tito Bobby
And I said, oh why and she goes he's a dick
He's a dick. Why didn't you go? He's a dick. Did you see that? No, let me see it. No
You see it right there. He's a dick. Why'd you call me a dick? I didn't say that. I have it right there
Anyway, so you play the song and then she'll go go out
Oh
Oh, thank you for listening to mad friends. Thank you for being a bad friend
Are you man, we definitely can't start that way. Are you a man?
What do you mean put your bucks for men?
Where does it say for men?
Isn't put your bucks a box for men or no, no, it's just me. Oh, it is. Oh, that was not
Oh those mats man crate. It's man crate man. Man crate as well. No, that's man escaped
No, man crate man crate are the ones that you open. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's what that was. No, no, this is
I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. Wooo. Yeah. Wooo. Yeah. Wooo.