Bad Friends - Back To The Old School

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Starting point is 00:00:27 Benefits vary by card, other conditions apply. Hey everybody, you guys, you know, I was very highly influenced by Nevermind, Nirvana's album, the very first, no, second album. Bleach was the first one, right? But anyway, I was very highly influenced by this and I love the album cover and now you can get one with my little baby body in it.

Starting point is 00:00:45 And you don't have to have the shirt if you don't want it, you can get it as a poster. That's just as cool too. Go to BadFriendsMerch.com. BadFriendsMerch.com. I'm on tour in the fall, gearing up to shoot my hour. I'm gonna be in Frank, California, Indianapolis, Charlotte, Wauke, Omaha, Kansas City, Cleveland,

Starting point is 00:01:01 St. Louis, Grand Rapids, Detroit, New Orleans, San Antonio, Chicago, Durham, Atlanta, Charlestonids, Detroit, New Orleans, San Antonio, Chicago, Durham, Atlanta, Charleston, Philly, New York, Phoenix, San Francisco, San Diego, Boston, and Minneapolis. Go to andrewsantino.com for those tickets, andrewsantino.com. You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?

Starting point is 00:01:17 Woo! A white dude and an Asian dude. Woo! You two are disgusting. Woo! Oh, you two are something. We're bad friends. Yip yappin away. Yip yappin away. Yip yappin all day. Yip yappin away. Yay. Yes I am. Wait, or no I'm not. No you are. No, McCone. Yes. You are. You are. All right, let's start

Starting point is 00:01:39 the show. And then, um, I just, and then, did you know that Delaney has a prison tattoo on her finger? What? Delaney, you went to prison?aney has a prison tattoo on her finger? What? Delaney, you went to prison? She has a prison tattoo on her finger. Let me see. What does it say? No, it's just, it's a stick and poke. A stick and poke?

Starting point is 00:01:54 Yeah. That's what Bobby calls his sex life. Stick and poke. Because every girl, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, stop sticking around. Asian have a sharp a penis. Let's not go into negative, let's go into positive.

Starting point is 00:02:11 Did something happen though? I can't, yeah, no, nothing. Well, I have to go to Winnipeg, I'm thinking bummed about that. Wait, why? More boring. For Tom's thing? One show at Tom, yeah. Winnipeg.

Starting point is 00:02:23 Do you know where that is on a map? It's probably- I'm not making fun of you because I don't know. I assume Winnipeg is more east Canada. I think it's middle. Maybe middle. I have no idea. Yeah. I genuinely don't-

Starting point is 00:02:36 Edmonton is middle too. Edmonton's more left. Is it? Okay. Alberta's- let's zoom out, Carlos. That's pretty central. Kind of. Yeah. Oh, that is dead center. Dead center. Wow, let's zoom out, Carlos. That's pretty central. Kind of, oh, that is dead center. Dead center. Wow, it's right above Minnesota.

Starting point is 00:02:49 Oh my God, I'm dreading, I gotta fly all that way. How long is it, you think? Four and a half, four? Oh, okay. Because you gotta go north, you gotta go up and over, you know? Yeah, but it's also like the- 330, not bad.

Starting point is 00:03:03 I hate the border crossing thing. Yeah, but you gotta give them paperwork. And one time I was doing a movie and it was years ago and I had to wait there for hours in like a little lab room. In the Canadian border? Insecure, I can't even speak to it, I'm so tired. Security room, not a lab room, why am I saying? Let me tell you something, by the way.

Starting point is 00:03:23 Congratulations. I've been watching the Worst Roommate show. Like I said. Wow. Are you being real? Yeah. The second season? I'm cruising through it.

Starting point is 00:03:35 I love it so much. But the amount of murder. Too much. The woman that filmed her own, that recorded her own death? Mm. Wow. Wow. Wowzies, owzies. She turned on a recorder and she's like, what are you going to beat the shit out of me? And he did.

Starting point is 00:03:51 She asked him and he did and then they have it on tape. Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah. I didn't see the first season. Oh, really? I only saw the second season. Oh my God. It's so good. I was going to go back to the first season. I do that with movies too. Do you have roommates, Delaney? Yeah, I do. How many? Um, it's so good. I was gonna go back to the first season. I do that with movies, too Do you have roommates Delaney? How many? Jesus Christ you have your own room. Wait a minute. Do you live at home? Are you talking about your parents?

Starting point is 00:04:13 Wait of your room I moved off campus. Wait, minute, how old are you? 21. You're a senior now? Yeah. I get my own electrical slot so I can plug in my iPhone. Ooh. Ooh. And my roommate, Samuel,

Starting point is 00:04:37 she gets the second one underneath it with her iPod. Ooh. Ooh. Delaney, five people? Yeah. How much is rent with five? Sneak in there. These guys don't need attention. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on. Ooh. Delaney, five people? Yeah. How much is rent with five? Sneak in there. These guys don't need attention.

Starting point is 00:04:48 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, it's like 2,000. For you? You pay $2,000 to live with five? For four other people? Where are you living? With the- Palisades?

Starting point is 00:05:01 Are you living in Beverly Hills? No, New Orleans. Wait a minute. You don't live in LA? Only like my parents are here. You're not from Orange County? No, I'm from the Palisades. What are you getting so angry for, man?

Starting point is 00:05:12 I don't know. I'm going to know. Time out. $2,000 per person. So it's a $10,000 a month house you're renting. He's like, you can get a nice place for that in New Orleans. Is that right though? So it's 10 grand a month in New Orleans. So all of you are paying $2,000. Yeah, probably.

Starting point is 00:05:32 You don't even know what everybody pays. Well, because I'm not asking like my other roommates. You don't ask each other. That does not a point of some of them. I don't know that well. Oh, so you live in a home with people you might not know. Yeah, you're perfect for this TV show. Yeah, you're too, I don't think so. She's too fancy for me. She's gonna end up in the news 100%. Remember that girl Delaney we used to work with a couple years ago?

Starting point is 00:05:50 All right. Dude. Yeah, the weird one. They found her foot in Florida. They found her head in New Orleans. Yeah. They found her ankle in Tucson. Tucson, Arizona. Her ankle was in Tucson, yeah.

Starting point is 00:06:01 They still haven't found her butthole. No. Yeah, yeah. What did they do with it? Yeah. I think they shot it into space. Dude, that's a cool killer though haven't found her butthole. No. Yeah. Yeah, what do they do with it? Yeah I think they shot it in his dude. That's a cool killer though No, just hear me out. I know I'm just saying right a killer with a necklace with all these little rings Don't you think a little butthole ring? Yeah. Yeah, but they're dry. You know, I mean, what is that? This is that puka shells? No, man, you know, uh, you take

Starting point is 00:06:23 Fruit loops. Oh, that's, when you take fruit loops. Oh, that's cute. Yeah, you take fruit loops, you put them in the water, then you let it dry in the sun, right? And then it just has this like a rubbery like anal. Cool. You get what I'm feeling? It's like a rubbery anal. It kind of smells. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your necklace.

Starting point is 00:06:37 You like calamari? I love it. This is calamari. Oh, nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is this? An ear necklace? Yeah, from Vietnam. Oh my God. The American soldier in South Vietnam possesses the,

Starting point is 00:06:46 zoom in, the stripped bodies of dead vehicle. Oh my God. So he would kill them and then put them on a necklace? Bro. That's hardcore. Cool as hell. That's cool as hell, Carlos? Dude, imagine, imagine, dude, imagine I was in the war.

Starting point is 00:07:00 Imagine I was in the war, right? And you know, I'm looking at you, I go, hey man, nice necklace. Thanks. Look. Oh, this, no. No, these. Fuck you.

Starting point is 00:07:11 No, no, these are, wait a minute. Fuck you. No, dude. Imagine. What if they didn't kill him, right? They just took his ears. You had two, what if they got both of your ears? You come up to me and you're like, hey.

Starting point is 00:07:27 You have something on mine? Wait? I don't really understand. Can you pronounce it? You have something of mine. You have something of, oh, what is it? Hello. Oh, my bad. That's you. Oh. Hello. That's hilarious. That's insane. That's insane. Cut off someone's ear and then wear it is crazy. That's crazy.

Starting point is 00:07:53 But also, Vietnam, craziest war. Craziest war in the world, dude. I mean, look at that. There's so many of them. You know what I mean? Apparently it was a trend. Those are the biggest ears I've ever seen either. It's like me, I've huge. Yeah, I have little ears. You know the Vietnam mean? Apparently it was a trend. Those are the biggest ears I've ever seen either. It's like me, I have huge ears.

Starting point is 00:08:05 Yeah, I have little ears. You know the Vietnam War though, Ho Chi Minh, what a guy. What a trail. He makes trails so deep. And you know, those trails, but did you know that Ho Chi Minh, little fun fact. Give me. Before he was, that's not a fun fact, that's just a fact.

Starting point is 00:08:20 Pretty fun to me. Before he was, you know, the guy, right? He went all, like he was like a baker in France for a year. I'm not kidding you. No way. Then he went to New York and then was like, he worked on film, like went to a film company, worked on film.

Starting point is 00:08:35 Ho Chi Minh was like an artist? No, he was just a world traveler, which is going around the world, probably fucking white chicks and stuff, right? Yeah, dude. And he has to do that, can I say that or no? Okay, and he probably has to do this because he's small. Tiny man.

Starting point is 00:08:49 And those are her shoulders, right? And do the lunging, you know? So anyway, Pochimil was like a world renowned, A worldly man. A cultural worldly man. And he saw what was going on in his country and he came back. He was like, that's it.

Starting point is 00:09:07 That's it. That's it. I love making croissant. I love this film we're doing about, you know, this film, what a life film, the photographer. What would have been if he actually became a director instead of going back home? Oh my God.

Starting point is 00:09:22 Like imagine if he made really good film. I'm trying to go see Long Legs tonight. Oh, it's gonna be, you like it. Everyone says it's phenomenal. Do you see it? And scary, right? I have my different opinion. Creepy?

Starting point is 00:09:34 I have a different opinion. All right, you don't like it. It is creepy. What? It is creepy. It's very creepy, the tone of the movie is very creepy. I mean, through the whole movie, you know, it gave me hereditary vibes in terms of like,

Starting point is 00:09:46 they got the tone right, but then there were times where I'm like, that doesn't make any sense or what is that and what's going on? What is going on with the little orb? You know what I mean, the doll orb? You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Yeah, I don't, because I'm going to go see it tonight. Yeah, but if I say doll orb, you're not going to know what that is.

Starting point is 00:10:03 Well, I see it in my head. Well, you know what going to know what that is. Well, I see it in my head. Well, you know what doll orbs are? Well, I'm just obsessed right now with the afterlife because I watched this guy on TikTok. I don't even know if I sent it to you. There's a guy on TikTok who goes to graveyards. He cleans the grave.

Starting point is 00:10:18 And as he cleans them, he has one of those machines that picks up electromagnetic vibes. And then it says words through the voice box. And I'm not, when I, dude, he'll go, he'll go, he'll, it'll go, it'll go, thank you. And he's like, I'm cleaning your grave, Charlie. How did you die? And it'll go stab. There's no way.

Starting point is 00:10:38 It does it. He lit the spirit there. Play it. Play it for him my name's Barry Stop. If I heard that, I would just go to the car. I know. Oh, GT. Oh, GT.

Starting point is 00:11:21 Wow, dude. You think those are like demons and stuff? There's gotta be. I mean, look, people that haven't passed over, think those are like demons and stuff? There's got to be. I mean, look, people that haven't passed over, right? Isn't that the theory? Yeah. Stop. I already know what it is.

Starting point is 00:11:31 There's a little person behind that grave. They're like, what the? I mean, how do you know that it's the grave thing? I don't understand. There's a machine that does it? So there's a box. There's a spirit box and spirits can electromagnetically communicate through the, and it's filled with like thousands and thousands of words. And it electromagnetically picks the word and it comes out.

Starting point is 00:11:51 So it'll be like death. Oh, I see. Striking. I see what you're saying. Mom. Right, right. Bob. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:11:59 Leap. Yeah. That's it. We should buy one. A ghost box. And it records. But what if there's some words in there that I'm a spirit and I want to say it and's not in the fucking box. It gets as close as it can like which ones are you trying to say Megatron? Would that be in it? I I bet you I mean Voldemort it's loaded Voldemort for sure is in a spear. I don't think Voldemort's in the spirit anal beads

Starting point is 00:12:18 That's in there. Oh, you know, it'll be tough. Yeah. Yeah, yeah ball and chain Oh, but can I put said you when- BDSM, BDSM. Yeah. When you put that against a gravestone- Yeah, he just does a thing and then as he walks through- Let's get one. Let's go to Hollywood Cemetery. Done.

Starting point is 00:12:36 And let's experiment with this stuff, man. Absolutely. We can go to like Humphrey Bogart. Is it, well, who's buried over there? Humphrey Bogart? Isn't Monroe? Isn't Marilyn Monroe? We gotta go to Marilyn Monroe's thing.

Starting point is 00:12:45 At Forest Lawn. At Forest Lawn. They're all there, right? Yeah. Like Mae West, all these people are there. Yeah. Paul Newman, right? There's all those guys.

Starting point is 00:12:54 Oh, I love your pizzas, Paul. He'll say, thank you. Will they do that? Yeah. Oh, wow. Paul, you make the best pizza sauce. Yeah. Thank you.

Starting point is 00:13:02 Wow. Have you seen my work? No. Yeah. But I love your pasta sauce. I can't you. Wow. Have you seen my work? No. But I love your pasta sauce. I can't name a movie, yeah. But wow. And I have to say, out of all the Hollywood male stars, back from back in the day, he's probably the best looking.

Starting point is 00:13:19 Humphrey Bargat or Paul Newman? Yeah, not even close. Bro, bro. He killed it back then. He was so handsome. Dude. So handsome. Dude, if I looked like that now,

Starting point is 00:13:28 oh, I wouldn't even be here right now, dude. But there's two kinds of Hollywood guys. There's a Paul Newman or there's a- Steve McQueen. Steve McQueen. Yeah. So Steve McQueen is our generation's, probably like either Charlie Hunnam or,

Starting point is 00:13:44 or what's his name? Tom Hardy. And Paul Newman is like Austin Butler. I was gonna say Gosling. I think Austin Butler. I'll say Austin Butler. No, you're right. You're right. But, but, but I think Gosling is hotter. But Gosling's so hot. He's the hottest guy in Hollywood. Delaney, you like that guy? You like Righos? Not really. Whoa! Give me a star that you like. Jake Gyllenhaal is my favorite. Yeah, he's a babe. He's a mega babe. And he's jacked. He's jacked. I saw him one night at a bar on Fairfax, and I didn't realize how big he is.

Starting point is 00:14:17 Yeah. Not that tall. He's fucking huge. His arms were massive. Yeah. Jilly. You know, here's the joke with me. Because I met him one time. I swear to God. So my, you know, my friend, Gene. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:14:31 Our best friends. Yeah. And so, um, Gene goes, you can come to the dinner. I can come because finally I can come. Where was it? Damien. Oh, right. So I come to the dinner and when you're at a dinner like that,

Starting point is 00:14:45 everyone's either a show runner or a huge person. So I'm there, you have to read the pockets. Do you know what I mean? Nowhere to slip in. Exactly. Nowhere to slip in. Yeah, exactly, right? And I didn't slip in anywhere.

Starting point is 00:15:03 I found no pockets. No, I was just eating and I would go, you know, you know what I mean? Like that kind of thing. No words to Jilly. I don't think so. He was so funny. And then I got so nervous. I was like, okay, I'll see you guys later. I left. Right. Who is this? Who's this girl? She posted pictures of the day she wanted to wear for her trip to Auschwitz. Let me get this right. This young lady went to Auschwitz

Starting point is 00:15:29 and she did like a get ready with me? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'd like to see what she wore. That's what she wore. It looks great. Yeah. So people on the internet are mad

Starting point is 00:15:39 cause she said, get ready with me to go to Auschwitz. Is she Jewish? Push pause for a second. She doesn't look Jewish. But to go to Auschwitz. Is she Jewish? Push pause for a second. She doesn't look Jewish. But the spirits at Auschwitz, probably look at her like, look at that fat fuck. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:15:52 You know what I mean? Was that a pig? Oink, oink. You know what I mean? The spirits didn't like her. Didn't like her, yeah. No, I bet you they did. She's very pretty.

Starting point is 00:16:04 She's a bachelor contestant and a Redman. Yeah, I mean, if like- I imagine the spirits see that, they're like, holy- Hot, hot. What? If you had the little machine, they would probably say hot. Yeah, it's like, it's not good. Not today.

Starting point is 00:16:24 Hot, hot, if they have's not good. Not today. Hot, hot, if they have that little bit, I can't. Hot, it's not even good. Sometimes you don't have to swing. You know what I mean? Sometimes they let the ball pass. What the fuck? They let the ball pass, all right?

Starting point is 00:16:38 Let the ball pass a couple times. You know what I mean? Don't go hot, hot. You know what I mean? That's what you did. Let's try it again. Let's try it again, Dan. So this girl, this girl, she did a get ready with me to go to Auschwitz and this is her outfit she wore?

Starting point is 00:16:54 Yeah, it was just a black dress and sneakers. Now is that disrespectful? What is the appropriate thing to wear to Auschwitz? I got to say it's probably that, but probably not. Well we have a resident Jewish kid here Nick what's the appropriate thing to wear to Auschwitz understated solemn something drab and quiet not loud imagine doing get ready with me to only go to tragic sites right get ready with me to go to Hiroshima yeah get ready with me get ready with me to go to Chernobyl.

Starting point is 00:17:25 Today, we're going to be visiting one of the most tragic, weird, fucked up sites you've ever seen. Yeah. Get ready with me. Now, I'm doing a blush that's very like, blow you away blush. Get ready with me to go to Ed Gein's house. We're in Wisconsin. We're at the farmhouse, okay?

Starting point is 00:17:39 And this is the lamp. See, this lamp, this lamp is made out of human skin. All right? And I know I'm wearing Gucci right now and you know, oh my God. And this kind of looks like skin. I mean, that's, I think what Prada was trying to say. So that's why we're here.

Starting point is 00:17:52 Yeah. Get ready with me to go to Epstein's Island. What's up? I'm here. It's desolate and quiet. Yeah. Seems like all the kids are asleep. I mean, how could, it is funny.

Starting point is 00:18:05 Look, I'm sure she didn't do it disrespectfully. She just planned to go to Auschwitz for the day, which millions of people do. And she was like, here's what I wear. Is this what she does on the internet? She shows people her day. Yeah, she posted this as a part of her schedule. Auschwitz in the AM and-

Starting point is 00:18:20 Well, yeah, you got to go in the morning. You can't go to Auschwitz at night. That's fucking- Bro, if you had a daughter and that's what she was a social media person and you're in the house and. Well yeah, you gotta go in the morning. You can't go to Auschwitz at night, that's fucking. If you had a daughter and that's what she was, a social media person and you're in the house and you're carving wood, I don't know what men do. Carving wood. I'm just making a canoe.

Starting point is 00:18:32 Yeah, you're making a canoe, right? And just you're constantly, get ready with me, get ready with me and let me, oh my God, oh my God, look at this, look at this. Would you snap? No, no, cause she's probably. I'm like, shut up! I bet she's making a good living.

Starting point is 00:18:45 You want a snap, Nick? Yeah, I would go crazy. That's the funniest part. The best packing hack for going to Auschwitz. Make sure you pack food. There is not a snack bar. Wow. Visiting tragic locations and doing a get ready with me for them is very funny to me. Manscaped.

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Starting point is 00:21:49 How did the Bay go? How was it with the Bay? Did he reprimand you? Well, let's go. But why was I nervous? Do you know why I was nervous? Because you were talking shit. I'm not talking shit.

Starting point is 00:21:59 Well, Bay heard you talking that shit. Okay. I was talking shit. Okay. So for years I talked about this IBM commercial, not IBM, Pepsi commercial. Yeah. And how he goes, here's the light, you know what I mean?

Starting point is 00:22:09 Stand in the light. Put your face in the light. And you told it on Rogan. I said on Rogan. The biggest podcast platform. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't really want anybody to know this story. I'll go on Rogan and tell it.

Starting point is 00:22:20 Yeah, yeah, yeah. So. Millions and millions of people. Sunday, I'm at the comedy store. I have his name on the list. I'm up at like 845. It's a good spot. Very good spot.

Starting point is 00:22:33 Yeah. And ask anyone that's working there. I've told these guys this. He's not there. I'm literally getting brought up. And he's not there. I'm like, you know how you go. He ain't coming. I coming. Come here, right?

Starting point is 00:22:48 And as I'm getting called up, somebody at the block goes, the bay, Michael Bay's here. Like the whole thing, like sirens go off. The bay has ascended. Right. So they obviously let him park there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so I just yell, I go, just don't, you know what I mean? The back, bring him in the back, set him right.

Starting point is 00:23:08 And then I'm literally walking the stage. While I'm on stage, he's walking in with his entourage. So cool. Yeah. And you know, you remind yourself, it's also, it was like 80 people. You know how sometimes the- Main room?

Starting point is 00:23:20 No OR. Okay. You know the OR is sometimes light on a Sunday. Yeah, sometimes. Yeah, yeah. But you know, what I can't- You still did good. I did. light on a Sunday. Yeah, sometimes. Yeah, yeah But you know You still did good. You did good I survived you did good. Thank you daddy

Starting point is 00:23:32 I love you. Okay, kiddos. And then what happened? I know I just lonely so now I know I I end as I'm walking off stage. He gets up to meet me in the back So then we get in the hallway and he goes, hey man, I go, yeah. You know what I mean? Y'all don't even know what I'm saying. But you know, we worked, I go, yeah, we worked.

Starting point is 00:23:53 You know what I mean? Pepsi, yeah. Oh yeah. And I go, let's go in the back and talk about it. All right. You drag him to- I drag him to zeroes. Higher ground, you get to be on, that's your territory.

Starting point is 00:24:04 Thank you. Vulnerable in the hallway, in the back. In the back, this is you get to be on, that's your territory. Thank you. Vulnerable in the hallway, in the back. In the back, this is my den. You regain power. It's my den. Yeah, that's your den. Yeah. So you sit the bay down.

Starting point is 00:24:12 I'm still having a funny neck. Okay, I sit the bay down and now I'm like, how do I, you know what I mean? I gotta figure. So immediate like a coward, I go, well, you know, sometimes in podcasts, no, I swear to God, you know, sometimes in podcasts, you know, like I experience a story and then when I say it, it's coward, I go, well, you know, sometimes in podcasts, no, I swear to God, you know, sometimes in podcasts, you know, like I experience a story.

Starting point is 00:24:27 And then when I say it, it's like, you know, I have to make it entertaining for the people, whatever, whatever, create conflict. You know what I mean? Yeah. And he's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you talking, what? And I go, yeah. And he goes, no, I'm like, you know, just the girl I'm saying,

Starting point is 00:24:40 right, is she just, she said that you mentioned it, but I never heard it. Is, do you think he had to have heard it? No. Really? No. Because it turned out she is a, she is the fan.

Starting point is 00:24:57 Oh, so she's a, she's a Bobby Lee fan. She said, I think Bobby Lee talked about you in a podcast. Yes. Okay. Right. Then we just start talking for like 45 minutes. And it was great. Hollywood stuff. He was super not, I couldn't believe how like,

Starting point is 00:25:15 reachable he was, you know what I mean? And is that the right word? I mean reachable for you. Relatable. Relatable. Relatable as well. Yeah, reachable. What the fuck are you talking about? I mean, you did reach him. What the fuck are you talking about?

Starting point is 00:25:25 I mean, you did reach him. I did reach him. No, and he was like so like super open and nice and we talked about a variety of things. And did it end well? Yeah, really good. Was it like, hey, let's just hang out together? No, he was just kind of like, you know what I mean,

Starting point is 00:25:37 I really want to do something with you or something like that. Oh, a little Bay movie, huh? I don't know. Little Bay movie. You know, things like that are sad and I just take it, you know what I mean, with whatever it is.

Starting point is 00:25:47 Right. You know, chalk it up. Sometimes they forget, but my point is, is that- You won't forget. It was a positive thing. And apparently he hung out there all night. And like Jason Collins and some comics were like, he's still here, we're hanging out, he's so cool.

Starting point is 00:25:58 You know what I mean? So he watched more shows. Yeah, he stayed there, I laughed. And he just stayed there all night. Everyone's saying that he was the nicest, he's such a nice guy. And it was a fun night, yeah. I wanna and he was just it stayed there all night Everyone's saying that he was the nicest he's such a nice guy and it was a fun night Yeah, I want to be like you when I go you are Because guys like the bay you actually go golfing with and go to like

Starting point is 00:26:13 Oregon and some of these Mensa like I don't know these deep states these men's a deep state like private fucking Mansion parties, you mean I'm sure you go in there to mean Q anon. Yeah. Yeah, we go to Q party. I'm sure you go in there too. You mean QAnon? Yeah. Yeah, we go to QAnon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But there's something going on with you. I'm not in the party. I'm adjacent. It's funny the way that he can say this and the internet will be like, what is going on, man? What parties does he get to go to?

Starting point is 00:26:39 None. Do you? I sit at my house all day. He does. He sits around all day. No, I actually do shit all all day. He does. He sits around all day. No, I actually do shit all fucking day. He does.

Starting point is 00:26:47 I do shit all day. You know what I did today? I washed my car. And it's my favorite thing in the world, to hand wash my car. And I went to a little shop in Burbank and I bought all my little supplies. And it was really nice,

Starting point is 00:26:59 cause the girl didn't know me, which is always nice. And she spoke to me like a car guy. And it like it I like that like I'm a nobody cuz I am a nobody but it was nice She didn't like what you're like a car guy like you're a pet boy. We were talking cars We talked we talked about stuff. We like we talked about certain waxes and soaps that we prefer Can you improvise that stuff or not even if you don know? If you don't know what you're talking about? I think I can do it. Okay.

Starting point is 00:27:27 Just try it. Oh, have you ever tried this carnauba wax? Oh yeah, well the carnauba. Charnuba? Well, that's what it was originally called. What did you say? In 1972, right? Carnauba wax.

Starting point is 00:27:38 No, carnauba. Yeah, but they used to call it carnauboo. Carnauboo? Yeah, wax. Like Nobu owned it? Yeah, exactly. Carnauboo? Yeah, in 1972.. Like Nobu owned it? Yeah, exactly. Carnobo?

Starting point is 00:27:46 Yeah, in 1972. Eat sushi off of Hudo of Carr? I don't know why you're doing Asian accents, sir. I'm just here at the Carr Manufac. I'm sorry about that. It's a little ah, ah, ah. I see you and I think, I don't know. Yeah, but when you do great.

Starting point is 00:27:54 Roombrooma, beep-a-beep-a. Sorry, I'm so sorry. I'll get, I'll get, I'm so sorry. You know what? I'm gonna leave. No, no, no. I'm gonna- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:28:02 Wait a minute, am I the customer? Yeah, you're the, you work there. I work here? Yeah. Holy fuck, I'm yeah. Yeah. Wait a minute. Am I the customer? Yeah, you're the we work there. I work here. Yeah, holy fuck. I'm fired How offensive I mean I wonder if he did that they would leave right a hundred percent unless they're from Japan then they'd love it I don't know. They might not know what was going on Excuse me. You have a can of wax Yeah, we yeah, we have it up there, but it's on the top shelf and it's a Pretty too expensive. Oh, are you from Tokyo, too?

Starting point is 00:28:33 Maybe they would do that. Oh, I remember you what's three? Mitsubishi Avenue, I think bonsai Bonsai way next to the McDonald's I think Banzai way. Next to the McDonald's. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's a good McDonald's. Yeah, wow. No, I talked car stuff and it just felt nice

Starting point is 00:28:50 to be like a human with someone instead of- But can I ask you about the wax? Yeah, what about- Who gives a shit? Oh, I love it. I know, but, cause I've never had wax on my car. I know, I can tell. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:29:02 Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm waxless. You're waxless. And people seem to like it still. Who likes your car? People go, no, that's right. Except for when they see the. Yeah. Yeah. I'm waxless. You're waxless and people seem to like it still who likes your car People go no, that's right. Except for when they see the other side. It's a piece of shit. It's smashed to shit I don't know. You're right. But um, I like what does the wax do my friend? It protects the it protects the paint to protect It doesn't get skin cancer. What are you talking about? Yeah, I guess PF 35 is on it. It's in the Sun all day that pork Oh, yeah. So- It protects the paint, it keeps it shiny and fresh

Starting point is 00:29:27 and glossy and more than anything, if you watched Karate Kid, you would learn, wax on, wax off. It's more about patience, it's more about life lessons. It's deeper than just getting dirt off a car. It's about connecting to these roots of like, I purchased a thing, I wanna take care of it, I want it to look nice, it's work, you sweat,

Starting point is 00:29:50 it feels good, you get meticulous. It shows a lot of different things in life. So Mr. Miyagi was teaching him. I love that scene, do you remember? It probably doesn't make any sense, but. What do you mean, it makes perfect sense? Oh, so he's waxing cars, he's painting fences, and then one day, you know what I mean?

Starting point is 00:30:08 Mr. Miyagi does that, and he does this, like if he's painting a fence, that doesn't make any sense. It taught him patience and timing. Oh, that's true, okay. And he had to do his chores. Someone had to do all that shit. But what a cool scene. I mean, one of the best movies of all time.

Starting point is 00:30:20 I think so. Daniel's Son. That's right. Daniel's Son. It's a metaphor. Whoa. Daniel's son. That's right. Daniel's son. It's a metaphor. Wow. Daniel's son. That was a great movie.

Starting point is 00:30:29 Phenomenal. I love that movie. I mean, honestly, I could watch it right now. Can we put it on? No, no, yeah. Can we throw it on, please? But, okay. I dreamed about going to do crane kicks at the beach,

Starting point is 00:30:40 standing on one of those old wooden things. I thought about that all the time. Yeah, but here's the thing. There's things that you like. Like you have little things like, you can go to a golf store and look at the little like, you know, the little. What am I looking at?

Starting point is 00:30:54 I'll tell you what you're looking at. You're looking at the little jackets that go over the like little, you know what I mean? This part. The little jackets? Well, you know like, you know how. Like the one next to the intro? Yeah, right there. I call those little jackets. Oh, you know, like, you know how- Like the one next to the intro? Yeah, right there.

Starting point is 00:31:05 I call those little jackets. Oh, a little club jacket? Yeah, a little club jacket. This is a little club jacket. Yeah, yeah. And I'm gonna call that from now on. Okay, good. I go, can you get my club jacket, please?

Starting point is 00:31:15 And then you probably look at like- You won't believe what that's called. What? Head cover. Oh, head cover. Mm-hmm. I didn't know. No, I know, little jacket.

Starting point is 00:31:23 It's not something that I, I'm not interested in that. Right. But you have other interests, like cars, like that kind I didn't know. No, I know. It's not something that I am not interested in. Right. But you have other things, interests like cars, like that kind of stuff. Yeah. You can walk into like a pet boys. I guess I have to say. Yeah, walk into a pet boys.

Starting point is 00:31:33 Yeah, yeah, yeah. And look and go, oh, look at the collaborator. This goes really well with the rotation. Have you seen some of the collaborator? Rotation cuffs. Right. Rotator cuffs. Yeah. And the oil, petroleum oil is very good with these rotation clubs. Petroleum jelly. You put petroleum jelly all over it.

Starting point is 00:31:46 Exxon has the best kind. I don't know what they, my point is is that, and you're with watches too. Yeah. Oh, German made or whatever you say, you know what I mean? But it's like, I literally have none of that. Yeah, we like different things. No, I don't have any interest.

Starting point is 00:32:00 I can't go into any store and go, oh, look. You know what I mean? Not true. What? Not true., oh, look. You know what I mean? Look at, what? Not true. Yeah. Chinese stars. You like clothes. Yeah, this one was emandrine.

Starting point is 00:32:11 Clothes, you like shoes. Sex shops. Sex stores. I mean, this is all true. You have the same meticulous love. It's just our loves are different. I think it's different shoes though, no? There's not a, I don't, not a, I guess you may be right.

Starting point is 00:32:26 I'm like that with smells. Like fragrances? Have you ever been to my house? Yeah. Have I ever been? There's smells all over my fucking house. Yeah, it's a fragrant house. Yeah, yeah, I have, I'm not kidding you.

Starting point is 00:32:37 I probably have 450 colognes of various kinds. Yeah, that's, yeah, that's- And then I also have oils for the little rocks I have, you know what I mean? So I guess I do have little things. You have little trinkets, and you would do, and you would go to a little trinket smell store

Starting point is 00:32:51 and you'd want to smell everything. I want to be a man is what I'm saying. I don't have man things. Yeah, you do. Okay, tell me one. You have animals. Cats. You have dogs. But they don't live with me.

Starting point is 00:33:06 Right. Yeah. Well, let's not talk about it. Okay, let's move on. You're manly though. You think so? I gyrate good. Show me.

Starting point is 00:33:15 Show me. What do you mean? Let me see you gyrate, bud. You can't put that in there, right? Yeah, you can. Yeah, your hump skills. So what time, you're gonna watch Long Legs tonight? I'm gonna go see Long Legs tonight.

Starting point is 00:33:32 Yeah, you're gonna like it. It's pretty cool. But I'm gonna go alone. Oh, that's good. Because I wanna be, he's scared. Yeah, yeah. And you can't do that when you're with somebody. Yeah, he's probably, I mean, what a career, Nick Cage.

Starting point is 00:33:45 The best. Yeah, because there was a while where he wasn't, he did all those small movies because Hollywood probably pushed him out. Why did it, why? He didn't get in trouble or something? He didn't do anything? No, he did that one, one of the Christian movies,

Starting point is 00:33:57 one of the worst movies ever. What was it called? Left Behind. Left Behind. One of the worst movies ever made. I don't remember this. Yeah, he phoned every scene in. It was one of the worst movies ever made. I don't remember this. Yeah, he phoned every scene in It was one of the worst movies you got to watch this movie. There is no bad there. Yeah, he's phoning it Yeah, yeah, I mean, there's really one scene where he has his like captain's hat over his face

Starting point is 00:34:15 You can't even see his face. He's just saying his lines You know mean he hated it and he but they probably paid him a lot think about how hard that is What go back to the poster and you see all those people in it, like this could be the break of their lifetime. And he's just like, fuck it. Yeah. Chad Michael Murray, Cassie Thompson, Nikki Whelan, Jordan Sparks.

Starting point is 00:34:33 Yeah. I gotta be fair. Love Jordan Sparks. I don't know who those people are. Am I stupid? Chad Michael Murray is famous. I'm stupid. 20 years ago. Jordan Sparks was this pop singer, right? Oh wow. How's your uncle Lee? Oh, I know him. Yeah. Yeah. I'm stupid. 20 years ago. Jordan Sparks was this pop singer, right? Oh, wow.

Starting point is 00:34:45 That's my uncle Lee. Oh, I know him. Yeah. Yeah. I know him personally. You do? Yeah. No, seriously, we have lunch on Wednesdays.

Starting point is 00:34:55 We have lunch every Wednesday. That's no way. Yes, me and CMM. That's what I call him. I didn't know that was his real name. Wow. He's a good guy. I never met him, but I bet he's rad.

Starting point is 00:35:03 I mean, think about that. Maybe Chad was like, fuck, this film is gonna be awesome. And then the guy that stars in your movie is like, fuck this, and bails. That would bump, you'd break your soul. Yeah, I mean, I think they were also going. Oh, they didn't like it either.

Starting point is 00:35:17 I don't think so. Oh, terrible script. You have to watch, it's one of the worst movies ever made. It's about what, he's a pilot and a plane disappears and it's- No, no, this is what it is. It's a Christian, so a Christian production company made it.

Starting point is 00:35:31 You got me. So basically, the Rapture. All right. Right, so like one day, just people just kind of disappear and then the clothes just fall to the ground. Whoa. And it's like six dudes left going, oh fuck, oh no, we didn't believe in God.

Starting point is 00:35:44 What do we do? Right? And he start- Party? I know, dude, number one, I would go to the pharmacist. Yeah. Right? Unless the pharmacist is still alive. No, they're gone.

Starting point is 00:35:54 Oh good, he's in heaven, right? Yeah, he's in heaven. So fuck, I would go, you know, like drugstore cowboy. I avoid, that's my one of fantasies. Delotted, you know what I mean? I would just go try to find all the shit, right? Get all the delotted. And then you know what I would do? Dude, I fantasize about this all the time, dude.

Starting point is 00:36:08 I can't wait, right? Then I'm gonna go to San Marcos. San Marcos, California, do you know why? Why? That's where the real doll factory is. Oh my God. Right, so I go to the pharmacist, right? Probably nine pharmacists get all the,

Starting point is 00:36:21 I'll relapse, I don't give a fuck. Oh, oh fuck. I don't care, I'm so excited. So I'll relapse, right? Then give a fuck. Oh, I'll fuck. Okay, I'm so excited. So I'll relapse, right? So then I'm gonna get, cause cars probably still work. Yeah, cars work. Everything works until it stops working.

Starting point is 00:36:32 Yeah, yeah. But you can't get them fixed. That's right, but you assume that for the next 20 years, you'll be able to find cars. You'll be fine, you just keep getting into cars. Get switched from cars. Yeah. Go to San Marcos, right?

Starting point is 00:36:43 And I would go to, but I don't know how, but they have like pre-belt, you know what I mean? I'd get 20 of them. No, you think? I think you would just go in and use it when you're done, you'd leave. No, because I don't want to live in San Marcos. I think, where do you want to live?

Starting point is 00:36:57 Everyone's gone. I would go back to Malibu or something, like a nice beach property. Okay, then get yourself an 18-wheeler truck and load that bitch up with sex doll toys and bring it up to a house in Malibu. Bring it to Spielberg's house and pack that thing with real dolls.

Starting point is 00:37:11 Yeah, I would love to have sex with a real doll on the lot, right? With a fucking Amistad poster back of me. That's my fantasy of mine. I'm asing that, right? So- And you're talking to her, you're like, you know I directed that movie.

Starting point is 00:37:27 Yeah. She has all over her face. Yeah. So I have all these fantasies, what I would do. The real doll factory is where you'd go. I'm trying to genuinely think if that happened. And a bookstore probably. A bookstore?

Starting point is 00:37:42 Yeah, because I, because I need to be doing something. So I'll be like, I'm gonna read. You're not. Yes, I am. No. Yes, I am. You don't read now.

Starting point is 00:37:53 What's the difference? I would learn to read. I'll be so bored. You can just fuck a real doll all day long on the lawn. Try me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Eventually you're like, oh, Hemingway. Sun also rises.

Starting point is 00:38:03 I don't even know what I would do. I can't even imagine what I would do. So how many people are gone of the population? It's like almost everybody? Only a few people are left? No, half the population is gone. Oh, well that's a lot of people still left. Oh yeah, but I have scenarios in my brain

Starting point is 00:38:15 when I go to bed, I think of these things. Imagine if there's only 50 people. Whoa. On planet Earth. You're never gonna run into anybody. So what would you do? So you're alone basically. This is the scenario, yeah So what would you do? You're never gonna so you're alone base This is the scenario. Yeah, what would you do?

Starting point is 00:38:27 The first thing I would do. Yeah You can't kill yourself Boring boring. Yeah, don't kill yourself. No you want well you stay I'd stay alive Yeah, you're never gonna see anybody again. So you're the last person on earth Basically, yeah, you don't know that they're there the 50 so you're never gonna see him But what if? What if you run into one of them? Yeah, yeah. It's the most annoying guy. Like who would be annoying you think? To have on earth? Yeah. It's not going to also be because it's like, if there's 50 people. Like a teacher from high school that's still around. Right. And there's probably half of them are women, right, probably.

Starting point is 00:39:05 And then probably seven of them. That'd be great if it was 49 dudes and one chick and you gotta go find her. Oh wow. The hunt. No, no, no, no. So what would you do? 50 people, the first thing you do.

Starting point is 00:39:18 First thing I do, boom, everyone's gone, clothes drop. Boom, what do I do? At first you would go like, what, what's going on? You know, all that. What's going on? Panic. Panic. Sheer panic.

Starting point is 00:39:30 So after a week you find out, you know what I mean, there's no one around, then what do you do? I go to downtown LA, go to Skid Row, because the bodies are gone, but the drugs are still there, right? Right, you know, they leave all the belongings. Is that where all, I mean, there are other drugs other places.

Starting point is 00:39:44 Where are they? CVS. No, no, I'm talking about H, they leave all the belongings. Is that where all, I mean, there are other drugs, other places. Where are they? CVS. No, no, I'm talking about H. I'm riding the horse. I want heroin. Whoa. So I'm going downtown, kiddo. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:39:52 I'm going to a safe needle drop spot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm grabbing those needs, jamming them in my arm, and also downtown there's a Lamborghini dealership, and I'm grabbing one of those things, and I'm on the horse as I'm flying through LA on that stuff, dude.

Starting point is 00:40:02 Whoa. And I'm driving right to the sunset. On the 10. Yeah, dude. Yeah, yeah. Just horsed flying through LA on that stuff, dude. Whoa. And I'm driving right to the sunset. On the 10. Yeah, dude. Yeah. Just horsed out of my mind. Yeah, yeah. Ah!

Starting point is 00:40:10 Whoa, dude. Yeah. Dude, going as fast as I can, just slamming into shit, and then as soon as I get to the beach where Washington meets the water, right off of the pier into the ocean. No. Oh yeah, dude.

Starting point is 00:40:20 Yeah? Vroom, vroom, and then I'm jerking off. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah! Wow. 100%. But here's the horror. What if you can't die? Yeah? Vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv and you can just wear whatever you want. Well, I'd be naked. I'm not gonna bother with clothes. Socks and underwear? I'd have like those gigantic green rave pants. Right? With the loops, with the tons of loop. I've always wanted to wear one of those little fucking hats

Starting point is 00:40:52 with the little propeller. Right? And you know what I would wear? One of those like, you know, Eric Griffin masks. Oh, the big nose. The big nose with Eric Griffin masks. Right? And I would probably take a tattoo gun and just be-

Starting point is 00:41:07 Tattooing yourself. I always would post Malone on the face. Yeah. But what would I put? Just like a bunch of fours. Four, four, just all over my face. Some arbitrary number, right? Yeah, and then all of a sudden they come back.

Starting point is 00:41:25 Then I'm gonna be like, what? I got needles in my arm. Where have you guys been? Insane. My teeth are all gone. Yeah, wow. It'd be fun to pull out a tooth, that would be fun. Oh, that's, yeah, the things that could go wrong.

Starting point is 00:41:40 I'll tell you what would go wrong. What if you get sick? Oh yeah, well, so there's- I don't know how chemo works. Or how to get it. I don't even know if I have, how do you even know you have cancer? I'll go to the scripts, there's no one there.

Starting point is 00:41:51 I don't even know, I press a button. I don't know what to do. You just sit in the machines by yourself. Boot-oot. Yeah, yeah. You print it out. I can't read this. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:41:59 And you leave. Wow, wow. That'd be a nightmare. It would be, that's the, you know, and you know what the lesson in life is, guys? We need people, so be nice to each other. That's exactly what the lesson in life is. We need each other.

Starting point is 00:42:09 That's the lesson in life. We don't want a society without, whether we agree or disagree, we need each other. You know I mean that. Yeah. Here's another fantasy I have at night. Yeah. Because, you know, I need fantasies before I go to bed. And over the years, I just put scenarios in my head and I go, what if this happens? So I'm a big fan of the movie Highlander. Love. Right. So what if you couldn't die, but you were born from the beginning of time, right? And you had to just live through time.

Starting point is 00:42:45 So you're immortal. Yeah, but in my head it's like, if I looked five foot two in Asian, I could only hang out in Korea until like 1960. In my mind, I think that, right? Because there's no part of history, right? Where I'd be completely accepted. You know what I mean? Well, yeah.

Starting point is 00:43:06 What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean, what do I mean? What place would you be accepted forever? Korea, China, I'd probably learn all the languages. Asian languages. You could pass for Mexican. April.

Starting point is 00:43:18 See? All right, maybe. He sold me on it. I probably wouldn't even know how to get there until 1960. If I was you, and I wanted to last from the beginning, it'd be the islands. Anywhere on an island. Any island.

Starting point is 00:43:31 They're never gonna fuck with you because you look so native to a place surrounded by water. You look like a guy that lives on a- Thank you so much for saying that. I've always thought that, but thank you for- Am I wrong? You look like a water boy. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:43:43 But then who would I have sex with? What do you mean? Nick, you're not around. Who would you have sex with on the island? Yeah. Well, people would inhabit it. Natives would inhabit it. Right.

Starting point is 00:43:54 Right? Just brown people, like Samoans and stuff. It's a dark, yeah, darker yous. A darker yous. Darker yous. Yeah, yeah. But in my mind, yeah. I wouldn't even see it.

Starting point is 00:44:02 I don't know what a white person is, maybe. What a blessing. But here's the thing. To I wouldn't even see it. No, what a white person is, maybe. They hold what a blessing. But here's the thing to never see a white. Yeah. But in the but in my mind, I would love to have been at historical places. Oh, OK. Like like like like like like go to the like Jesus's shop. Did he have a little store a little? Yeah. Yeah. Like, oh, this nice on them and not like really get involved.

Starting point is 00:44:22 He would probably know who I was. I saw you're the guy that you know, that we with God made from a long time. You would probably know who I was. Like, oh, you're the guy that we, you know what I mean? That we, with God made from a long time ago. You're my role number, but. What if Jesus, you go in a store and he's real chatty. Yeah, like I walk in, ding, ding, ding. Do they, is there like a- Hey, welcome.

Starting point is 00:44:36 How are you, brother? Hey, I'm just new in town, you know, I'm from- Oh, where are you from? Palestine. Welcome. Thank you. Yeah. Whoa, there's something different about you because all the other stores they won't even let me in. Well, let me tell you something with those other people. They don't have a heart like me. Oh, my arm fell off. Oh, hold on. You're welcome. Thank you. What's your name?

Starting point is 00:44:59 Jesus. Hello, Jesus. Last name? God. Oh, hi. I'm Jesus God. Jesus. Last name? God. Oh, hi. Hi Jesus God. Hi. Hi. What can I help you with today?

Starting point is 00:45:10 What are you looking for? Oh, I'm looking for actually a guillotine. Do you make those? We make guillotines. Yeah. Is that what they're called from where I'm from? Oh, they call them Gilla. A guillotine?

Starting point is 00:45:24 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we make. Yeah, guilla. Yeah. Oh, they call him Gila? Yeah. A guillotine? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, guillotine. Guillotine. Been saying it wrong for a long time. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:45:30 Because we get a brochure, a guillotine brochure, and you know. Yeah. It's just spelled guillotine. I gotta tell you, they're gonna kill me soon, I gotta go. They're gonna be killing me soon. When?

Starting point is 00:45:41 Today. Oh. Yeah, people I trust a lot. Oh really? Yeah, some of my best friends actually Oh because I was running into a guy named Paul, you know him Good dude, yeah. Yeah. Yeah good dude. You taught me how to serve. Oh, yeah. Yeah at the Dead Sea. Oh cool. No waves No waves and we still surfed it's an unbelievable. Bodyboarding? Bodyboarding, yeah.

Starting point is 00:46:05 Cool. All right, I have a real genuine concern. I need your help. Hold on. Cause I wanna help you. Please. Oh, he's got to pray. Mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala

Starting point is 00:46:21 mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala Mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala

Starting point is 00:46:32 mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala mungzala I go for real, okay? So what is your problem, my friend? Are you being serious? When I go mama G, mama G, mama G, right? And I do friend talk, I'm 100% serious. I'm not gonna go for comedy at all. I need your help. Go ahead. I forgot my iCloud password and I don't know how to reset that fucking thing.

Starting point is 00:47:00 And it's really been driving me nuts. No, what is my, I really have a concern and I'm being serious about this. My memory feels like I'm slipping away. Dude, I'm, bro, I swear to fucking God, dude. The other night I thought I was losing my memory. I've like started to forget things way more often. Me too, and here's another thing, dude.

Starting point is 00:47:24 The other day I was laying in bed and I was like, trying to think of Arsenal players that I'm a big fan of and I couldn't remember like four or five of them. What's going on with us? No, I'm being real. Me too, I'm not making this up. And I think it said there's something in the water, there's something going on where I'm like forgetting things

Starting point is 00:47:41 or sometimes I'll play Stardew Valley and I'm like, if I have to pick turnips or not turnips um what is it oh yeah it was melons I go I think you've just forgot that I forgot that I know I know and I was like running to because I had to pick melons right because I have to make pancake oh pink it because it was a pancake no pink pink pink cake oh pancake no I didn't say it like that Okay, all right, right and I'm like because it was fucking Haley's birthday, right? No Penny's birthday I forgot that see right and then I was running and I was like, what am I running toward?

Starting point is 00:48:17 Whoa, like I didn't know what I was running toward And what was I doing? And I had to think for a while. I go, oh yeah, melon, melon. What? But when you're running for melons and you forget it, that's a danger. I've been running for melons my whole life.

Starting point is 00:48:33 So what is going on with you? Tell me what you forgot. I'm doing little things now that I used to never do. My memory's usually, I'm usually very sharp. And well, I've always said I have no longterm memory. It's crazy, it's gone. But the short-term used to be so good, but I'm doing things I used to never do

Starting point is 00:48:50 that would bother me. Like what? I'll put a thing somewhere, forget where I put it. And I never do that. I lost a car key. Dude. I lost a car key. Hello.

Starting point is 00:49:02 What is going on? The other day I was like, where's my car key? Not being real. Where is it? I lost a car key. Hello. What is going on? The other day I was like, where's my car key? Not being real. Where is it? I lost a car key. It was in my hand. In your hand. The woman at the dealership goes,

Starting point is 00:49:12 well you got the car home, because I have the second key. And she goes, so it's somewhere in your house. You don't know. I can't, I cannot tell you. Yeah. And I'm telling you this, without Find My, I would have no fucking devices. Oh my God, thank God for Find telling you this, without Find My, I would have no fucking devices.

Starting point is 00:49:25 Oh my God, thank God for Find My. Dude, without Find My, no devices. Isn't that a cousin of yours, Find My? Yeah, yeah. That's what I meant. My cousin runs around. Where's my phone? I find it.

Starting point is 00:49:38 And he just runs around, dude. I'm forgetting stuff, dude. I'm getting a little worried. I'm not gonna lie. Dude, I swear on my life right now, dude. It's scaring me. I'm literally going through the same thing. It's been in the last couple of weeks.

Starting point is 00:49:52 I go, am I losing my mind? In fact, a couple of times, didn't I tell you guys on this podcast where I go, am I forgetting things? Do I seem like I'm losing? Do remember I said that? But you know what I've learned to humble us out? Stress and anxiety can make you feel

Starting point is 00:50:07 like you're not remembering stuff, but it's because your brain is overwhelmed. There's two, you know what it is? There's too many things clogging up the production line, and so nothing can get produced. Oh my God. You know when a chip bag gets caught, you know, like a chip bag is like, oh fuck,

Starting point is 00:50:22 and it gets caught, and then you boop boop, another one, and it gets another one in there. That's our brain. What's a chip bag? A chip, a bag of chips. In the machine? In the vending machine, yeah. And all it needs. B9, sometimes you go B7.

Starting point is 00:50:33 B9, yup. And then, oh, it meant to be B9. But all you need. And now you're getting the fucking, you know what I mean? You need A6. All you need. Drop and knock everything out. Whoa, I never thought about that.

Starting point is 00:50:45 Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm taking an A6 in a couple of days. You are. I'm A6ing out to Hawaii. And what are you going to do there, golf? Don't even golf. Mukalakehiki. You're going to golf there?

Starting point is 00:50:56 Manawanalaya. Whoa. Who you going with? Who you going with? Who you going with? A good friend of mine, Barbaduke Salamanan. Barbaduke Salamanan was my shaman for many years. Oh, I know, you told me about it, I read his book.

Starting point is 00:51:11 Barbaduke Salamanan. Yeah, yeah. The one thing I hate is the- Happy nights. He wrote happy nights. Happy nights, yeah, yeah, yeah. He makes me dock. I don't want to die, he makes me dock with him.

Starting point is 00:51:19 But that's because you're trying to connect energy. Yeah, woo woo woo woo woo woo woo. Barbaduke is a strange guy. Yeah, when you and I dock, yours swallows up mine. It does, and it's like, it's not right. It's too, the power, your power is too much. No, you know what it looks like? You know those little attachments on a vacuum?

Starting point is 00:51:35 Yours is the attachment hose, and mine is the one that clips in. Oh, right, right, right. I suck it in. You suck it so hard. What does the rest of the summer hold for us? Greatness. We're going to Montana.

Starting point is 00:51:48 We're going to Montana. Oh yeah, well let's make an announcement. We're going to Montana because Bobby's going up there to shoot a movie or a TV show? A movie. With who? What? Who is in it?

Starting point is 00:51:56 That's a quick question. Who's in it? Why? Who's in it? Jim Belushi. Famous. You love him? Yeah, what do you mean?

Starting point is 00:52:04 Legend. Yeah, he's the man. Yeah. him? Yeah, what do you mean? Legend. Yeah, he's the man. According to Jim, great show. That guy, that guy. And he's got a weed show, right? That's great. And then I'm doing it with Miss Jones.

Starting point is 00:52:13 Oh, my mom. Hi, it was downtown in Katie's apartment today, ready to help her move. We'll chat tomorrow. Is that a translator? It's probably like, bleh. It's probably like phone translator. Yeah. Is that a translator? It's probably that. It's probably like phone translator. I love her so much.

Starting point is 00:52:31 When I saw her, I hugged her so deep. They were happy to see you when they ran into you. I really love them. Let me read you this poem though real quick. I am the mayfly, metamorphosing, I can't even read it. I am the mayfly, metamorphosing, I can't even read it. I am the mayfly, metamorphosing on the surface of the river and I'm the bird which, when spring comes,

Starting point is 00:52:49 arrives in time to eat the mayfly. I am the frog swimming happily in the clear pond and I'm also the grass snake who, approaching in silence, feeds itself on the frog. I am the child in Uganda, all skin and bones, my legs as thin as bamboo sticks. I am the arms merchant selling deadly weapons to Uganda. I am the 12 year old girl, refugee on a small boat

Starting point is 00:53:13 who throws herself in the ocean after being raped by a sea pirate. I am the pirate, my heart not yet capable of seeing and loving. Wow. What are you looking up? What is that? He goes, wow!

Starting point is 00:53:24 Oh, I saw something wild. What'd you see wild? I was at a coffee shop. And the gentleman making the coffee had one, he had two arms, but only one hand. And it was- Wait, wait, let me stop. You know me, I need visual position.

Starting point is 00:53:37 He had two arms. So two arms and what? One hand, one hand was missing. That good. Yeah, it had a, yeah. Okay, the hand's missing, okay. And I didn't notice it until he handed me my coffee. With obviously the nub hand.

Starting point is 00:53:50 Yeah, but the nub was inside my coffee. And he moved it like that, oh I see. Yeah, got all over the place. No, I assume it was the one with the grip. No, like a chess piece, he went, your move, your move. Oh, it's like a rook. He was rooked upon. Rooked upon.

Starting point is 00:54:02 Yeah, rooked upon, latte, rooked upon. I see. No, but he had one hand it honestly Yeah, I'm not mocking him at all. He was unbelievably fast doing the orders taking the thing but it about it about it about it about it about it about it and it was So quick and I thought How is it? No fingers? I mean he I mean look. Yeah. Yeah move things around like like Listen, there's a coffee cup right here, right?

Starting point is 00:54:25 It's like, tk tk tk. If it spills, most of the time it's gonna spill. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Most of the time it's gonna spill. And maybe the nub is more sensitive. It had one of the, you know the coffee sleeve you put on the outside of a cup? He had that on his nub.

Starting point is 00:54:36 Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, here's what I don't like. You know, here's what I don't know that's very funny. You know what I don't like? When they have a nub but only two fingers. Oh, get those right, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I don't know. That's very funny. You know what I don't like? When they have a nub, but only two fingers. Oh, get those right, yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's like, you know, just commit to one. You don't have to do it every time.

Starting point is 00:54:52 If I did have a nub, every time, like this, like that rock, if I had a nub, I'd be like, yo, throw me that rock. Yeah, toss to me. Ah, fuck. I would do it with the nub hand. I try to go for it with the nub hand. And people would laugh. Yeah, because it's a good bit. You gotta, like, dude, you know, you gotta give yourself a little bit. Right, right, fuck. I would do it with the nub hand. I try to go for it with the nub hand. That's funny. And people would laugh.

Starting point is 00:55:06 Yeah, because it's a good bit. Right. You know, you've got to give yourself a little bit. Right, right, right. Like, I don't think he said anything about it, but if I'm him, you know what I mean? What? No, I don't. I would make a joke about it.

Starting point is 00:55:17 Yeah, dude. You know, you'd have to say something. Yeah, yeah. It's like, what kind of milk? What kind of milk do you want? What? Oat milk. Okay. Yeah. Do you want anything inside of it? Vanilla of milk do you want? What? Oat milk. Okay.

Starting point is 00:55:25 Yeah. Do you want anything inside of it? Vanilla? Dora-Mell? Here's what I don't want inside of it. What? Your nub. I think it'll taste funny.

Starting point is 00:55:35 Excuse me? Yeah. I just don't want nub in my coffee. You're rubbing my nub the wrong way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now rub it for good luck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you. Yeah. You'd have to pound everyone. You good luck for real. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you.

Starting point is 00:55:45 You'd have to pound everyone. You'd have to. Oh, you know what would be cool if you had the one hand missing and you saw another guy with the other hand. You probably from across the restaurant go. And they go, right? Like we're late.

Starting point is 00:55:57 Yeah. Yeah. Now, by the way, did I over tip the guy with the nub? Yes, you did. Undertip. He needed half as much. Right. Yeah. No, I over tipped him. I put 20 bucks. You always do. I needed half as much. Right. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:56:05 No, I over-tipped him. I put 20 bucks in the thing. Yeah. But he's not like... You know what I mean? No, I don't. Like, I'm a sucker. I felt bad, but it's like I shouldn't feel bad. I'm a sucker for burn victims.

Starting point is 00:56:18 Well, you see them all the time. Burn victims. You see them a lot? Yeah. When was the last time you saw a burn victim? Pahrump. Pahrump, Nevada. Yeah, yeah. That's where they keep them a lot? Yeah. When's the last time you saw a burned victim? Pahrump. Pahrump, Nevada.

Starting point is 00:56:27 Yeah, yeah. That's where they keep them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw one burned victim in Pahrump. You go to Pahrump. Yeah, yeah. You know what I almost did yesterday? There you go.

Starting point is 00:56:34 On the way to the store, I almost went to Carnies and it's been years since I've had a hot dog at Carnies. Love it that place. I know, I should go. I don't know, when's the last time you had a hot dog? Yeah. When's the last time you had a hot dog? Three. When's the last time you had a hot dog? Three days ago from dog house.

Starting point is 00:56:48 You eat hot dogs at Austin? I love hot, dude, let me say something about hot dogs. Wait, what? You eat hot dogs? Dude, that's why I always purposely go to Chicago airport. For the hot dogs? Because I need a Chicago dog. Me too, but it's a very special occasion.

Starting point is 00:57:03 You're eating a midweek. You're eating like a hot dog on a Wednesday? Yeah. That's insane. I love them hot dogs. And I've been really getting into Smashburgers as of late, but I love dog house, that's nice. But always something bad happens at dog house.

Starting point is 00:57:17 You know why? Why? Because dog house is where I found out that my dad was dying. Are you serious? And you still go back? Yeah, I was out that my dad was dying. Are you serious? Yeah. And you still go back? Yeah, I was in the Burbank dog house.

Starting point is 00:57:28 I remember sitting there, I didn't even eat my meal. You left the dog. Yeah, I left two dogs. Two dogs. And tater tots. I got it. Yeah, yeah. And I go, yeah, daddy.

Starting point is 00:57:37 I go, oh, fuck. Every time I go to a dog house, something bad kind of happens ever since then. You think about your dad. Yeah, maybe that's what it is. That's so sad. Yeah, it's very sad. We should go make it a happy.

Starting point is 00:57:48 We should go to dog house and do something for your dad. You wanna do that? I would love to do that. Yeah, yeah. Why have his ashes, maybe sprinkle some on there? On a dog? Yeah, yeah. I usually just do mustard, but I can.

Starting point is 00:57:58 I can put mustard. Yeah. Bring in the spirit radio, see if he's there. We should bring the spirit radio to the dog house, see if we can contact your father through dog, through hot dog. Yeah, please. Did your dad like hot dogs? Hated them if he's there. We should bring the Spirit radio to the dog house, see if we can contact your father through hot dog. Yeah, please. Did your dad like hot dogs?

Starting point is 00:58:08 Hated them. That's why. Fucking hated them. Yeah, maybe they hated them. Right. This lady goes, I saw the Rolling Stones last weekend and they were great, and she showed me a video. What the fuck?

Starting point is 00:58:19 How? The Stones? Yeah. How are they still doing it? Yeah, Mick Jagger just going out and still... I mean, how's he doing that? He's killing it. He's probably the best shape ever. He's 80.

Starting point is 00:58:28 It's amazing Keith Richards is alive because he smoked a pack of Marlboro's every day for like 30 years or whatever. Yeah. And he's still up there. It's proof that it's all bullshit. It's an accident. Delaney's young. She might die tomorrow.

Starting point is 00:58:43 Right. Who knows? You could live to be 96 years old. I know. Chances are actually higher that you'll outlive. In fact, I read a study that says some people that exercise too regularly have a higher risk of dying because stress that exercise puts on your body. It does.

Starting point is 00:59:00 Exercise has stress. There are stress-related things that goes to your heart. Yeah, like my organs don't move much. They don't need to move. Yeah. Maybe they're being preserved in my body. Yeah. You're pickling yourself. Yeah. I'm pickling my own body. That's great. Heavy stress, heavy stress from like people who usually live, look, working out is obviously good for you, but people who live a lifestyle that work out often tends to be the same kind of personality traits of people that lose sleep because they're overworking. Some people die from drinking water.

Starting point is 00:59:26 Never. Well, if you drink too much. Yeah. There was one girl that did it one time. That's the one I'm talking about. What's that? The girl that died from drinking, what did she drink? Like eight gallons of water?

Starting point is 00:59:35 No, there was a college kid who took Molly and he got scared. He kept drinking water and died. That's how you die on Molly. You think you're dehydrated. Indiana woman dies from drinking too much water. I wonder what the first sign is a pain, a dizziness. They say dizziness and you start to get headache, real bad headache. And then you drink more water thinking that'll help your headache.

Starting point is 00:59:54 Interesting. That is crazy, man. It's like when, you know, somebody's on like a reality show, like a lone or are, are, are naked and afraid. Yeah. They can't eat right away. No, because- Like I'm gonna get a fucking Philly Cheesy,

Starting point is 01:00:07 that would kill you. Well, you throw, they throw up usually. Your stomach is shrunk by that point. But you could die maybe even. What would you, what's the first thing you would eat? Peanut. A peanut? Like if I'm like on a show like alone,

Starting point is 01:00:19 I go, okay, give me a peanut first. Cause I don't wanna die, I don't overwhelm my system. One peanut shifts in electrolyte levels can cause serious complications, including seizures, heart failure, and comas. If you just got off the show, you and I did Naked and Afraid. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 01:00:33 All right? Yeah. We're done. They're like anywhere you want to go, anything you want to eat. You don't go to right to fucking Barcelona and go to a restaurant. No, you have to go to a camp.

Starting point is 01:00:41 They have doctors and stuff that observe your body. I know, I'm saying the first meal you have when you get home. But this have doctors and stuff that observe your body. I know. I'm saying the first meal you have when you get home. But this is right when I'm off the show or when I go home? Pretend that it is. For the sake of- Are we going home together? You and I?

Starting point is 01:00:54 Yeah. We're going out to eat together. Okay. So we would probably go to, what restaurant would we go to? Mastro's. I would want steak, potatoes, vegetables, salad. I'd want a fucking little- Bone marrow. I would slurp, potatoes, vegetables, salad. I'd want a fucking little- Bone marrow.

Starting point is 01:01:07 I would slurp up some bone marrow. And that bacon, that cracked bacon. I want cracked bacon. Cracked bacon, yeah. Sugar-cracked bacon, baby. And then I would get fucking- Seafood tower. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 01:01:18 Oh, you know what we get? Caviar. Mm-hmm. With creme fraiche. Right on your nipples. I'll lick them off. You really? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It doesn't even have to be creme fraiche. Right on your nipples, I'll lick them off. You really? Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:01:25 It doesn't even have to be creme fraiche for me, it could be your- My creme fraiche? Yeah, yeah. My creme. I would literally probably do that if I was starving. You're hungry enough. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 01:01:34 If I had some like caviar. But I'd make you watch me cook, you know? What do you mean? I stand right there while I'm cooking. Yeah, yeah. Okay, anyway. If you're gonna eat the chef's meals. And the chef's got a taste, he has to spoon it his own. That's a nice-

Starting point is 01:01:46 I don't think bread would be good, would it? Oh my God. Yeah, like a whole sourdough bread. Do we went out to dinner a couple nights ago? You know when they bring out the bread basket? I ate the whole thing to myself. Oh, I love bread baskets. Fucking housed it.

Starting point is 01:01:57 Housed it. Yeah. My wife was like, what are you doing? Yeah. I was like, we didn't eat lunch, I'm hungry. How come there's sticks in there? You like when they do that? I'll eat the sticks. I don't like the sticks. You don't like the breadsticks? I don't like the breadsticks. I wife was like, what are you doing? Yeah. I was like, we didn't eat lunch. I'm hungry.

Starting point is 01:02:05 I thought there were sticks in there. Oh yeah. You like when they do that or? I'll eat the sticks. I don't like the sticks. You don't like the breadsticks? I like the warm bread-y bread. You like the pretzel bread, that's what you like.

Starting point is 01:02:13 How do you know that? That's my favorite. How do you know that about me? Because we eat together. That's right, I love the pretzel bread. Oh. Yeah, I love pretzel buns on like hot dog. Mm.

Starting point is 01:02:24 You know who has it? I don't care what you say, Wiener Schnitzel. Yeah, I know you like that. Chicago dog with a pretzel bun, that's it, dude. Wiener Schnitz. I'll tell you my glorious day of eating, a perfect day of eating for breakfast. Like we said, baked beans.

Starting point is 01:02:40 Pussy, oh, sorry. Yeah, of course pussy. Yeah, yeah. Baked beans, your perfect- That's my second breakfast. pussy. Yeah, yeah. Baked beans. That's my second breakfast. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Your perfect breakfast is baked beans.

Starting point is 01:02:48 Spam, a rice, egg, and kimchi. Done. Lunch, Chicago dog with a pretzel bun, tater tots with some sort of spicy dip. Oh yeah, spicy mayo. Yeah. Dinner. Now here we go. Here we yeah. Spicy mayo? Yeah. Dinner. No, here we go.

Starting point is 01:03:06 Here we go. I don't know. That's what I mean. I don't know. There's so many options. Too many? Yeah. The Chicago Cubs have invited me to throw out the first pitch and sing the seventh inning

Starting point is 01:03:16 stretch in Chicago. No. September 6th against the New York Yankees. Wow. Yeah. And I- Congratulations. I would love for you to be there. I can't. Okay. That's Congratulations. I would love for you to be there.

Starting point is 01:03:25 I can't. Okay. I will not be there. Fine. I'm gonna watch you pitch. I hear your mind. You'll come out with me. No, I'm not going out there, dude.

Starting point is 01:03:31 Come on. They're not gonna know me. You'll be the catcher. I'll be the pitcher, just like in real life. Gay sex joke. Oh, congratulations. That's a huge thing. I can't wait, man.

Starting point is 01:03:42 They reached out and they said they would they'd be you know They would love for me to do it. So I'm gonna throw out the first pitch So you and I here's what I want to do. I need to warm up Will you do I do it you warm me up? I'll warm you up dude Okay, so congratulations. You want to watch me warm up on patreon? You got to watch me and Bobby are gonna go in honor of Brody Stevens. We'll go to a cage in in What is he? what is it? What is it?

Starting point is 01:04:06 Huh? It's a pulpit. We'll go to one of those cages up north in the valley somewhere where he used to throw. Let's do it. Congratulations, it's a huge thing. Yes! Santino!

Starting point is 01:04:14 Yeah, I'm gonna get to throw out the first pitch and sing the seven inning stretch, which I can't wait. It's funny how you don't think your friend is big, but they are. You don't think I was out there? That's so mean. No, you know, I mean, you don't look at me like, I'm just your friend, Bob.

Starting point is 01:04:30 You don't think of like, what, you know. I don't think of you like a famous guy. Yeah, I do. Yeah, you seem to. Yeah. Same to you too. Same to you too. But you know, yeah, it takes you out of, it's just weird.

Starting point is 01:04:44 Well, when you see like, I'll see like, you know, it takes you out of it, it's just weird. When you see like, I'll see like, you know, Nikki Glaser on something, I go, oh shit. Yeah, well she's on everything. Yeah, or any of your friends. Well you watch a movie and go, oh fuck. That guy's in the movie. That's my friend.

Starting point is 01:04:56 He's in a movie. Yeah, yeah. Thank you for being bad friend. Thank you for being a bad friend. I'm tired guys. Heads up. I mean it's, he ran around all fucking day. Thank you for being a bad friend. I'm tired, guys. Heads up. I mean, it's a-

Starting point is 01:05:08 He ran around all fucking day. The guy had shit to do all fucking day. He had to go to a fucking meeting, go to a podcast, he had to go return a motorcycle. He had to go meet someone at his old house. He had to meet someone at his new house. Then he had to run back across town and do errands. And then on top of that, he had to take a couple of meeting phone calls about writing projects he's involved in. Dude, the guy's been working all fucking day. You know what Andrew had to do? Andrew was very busy too, guys. You know?

Starting point is 01:05:34 All day. You gotta wake up, hang out with his fucking Hollywood friends at the golf studio, playing golf, do a couple of tees, right? Everything I named today. Eight or nine tees. Everything I named I did today. I did the same thing to you. You didn't do shit. You woke up and you didn't do shit. No, I did fuck you. Shut up. Shut the fuck up. I'm tired Suck my fucking dick. Shut the fuck up. You don't do shit. Shut the fuck up. Okay back to the old days We're going back to the beginning of bad. Yeah. Yeah, shut up. Shut the fuck up. You don't do shit You know what sleep all day this then you contribute your loose

Starting point is 01:06:04 Goose egg your lips are so dry and blending into your face that I can't even tell that there is lips You don't do shit. You know what? Sleep all fucking day. I'll tell you this then. You contribute goose eggs. Your lips are so dry and blending into your face that I can't even tell that there is lips, okay? Get your shit together. Get some lips. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And your two little bump teeth coming out, dude.

Starting point is 01:06:15 You're hitting it hard. What are you, a beaver? You're hitting it hard. You're a beaver, dude. Yeah, dude. You know what I mean? You're hitting it hard today. You want some wood?

Starting point is 01:06:23 Make a dam? Whatever they do. You know what I mean? Clog it up, dude. Clog up the river, dude. This is good. You piece of, hey, what do you wear? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,. Don't fuck around dude. You ready to get started. Don't fuck shut the fuck up Tell me what to do. See this is what I know when he's not good. Fat fuck. Oh Cuz I'm morbidly obese I put my fucking weight and my height and made a fucking app thing. It said I was morbidly obese

Starting point is 01:07:00 You're gonna tease me like that?

Bad Friends - Back To The Old School

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