Bad Friends - Bobby Has Night Sweats and Brad Pitt Fever Dreams

Episode Date: April 4, 2022

New Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com Thank you to our Sponsors: https://www.doordash.com code: BADFRIENDS2022 & http://headspace.com/badfriends & https://www.onnit.com/badfriends & https://www.bespokepost.com code: BADFRIENDS YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriends 0:00 Covid 19 Bobby & Hip Hop Bobby 7:18 Car Guys 15:35 Rudy's Power and The Real Reason Men Do Things 25:15 Andrew's Weak Skin and the Next Bad Friends Field Trip  33:06 What Bobby and Andrew Truly Think of Will Smith and His Slap 40:06 The Truman Show and Ed Harris Goes Crazy 48:45 Who is Bruce Willis? 1:00:08 The Bad Friends Foundation for Ugly Fans  1:11:24 Andrew Opens His Heart to Bobby More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: Andres Rosende & Pete Forthun This podcast episode was sponsored by Candy Crush Sponsorships: on for this episode Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? White dude and Asian dude. You two are disgusting. You two are something. We're bad friends. Anchor. If you haven't heard about Anchor,

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Who are you dog? COVID-19 bomb you lead 2022 Wuhan dog. What's up? From the streets of San Diego, Poway, California. What's up? What's up? The Titans are in the house dog. Are we going to keep our mask on the whole time Rudy?

No keep your mask off dog. Yo dog be like Herman Cain dog. What are you going to do Rudy? Are you going to keep it on? I mean I have immunity for like four months since I got COVID last month. I know. But I don't know about you. You can't get it from that distance dog.

Says who? Since Fauci brah. You know how crazy it is how annoying you and the Kalila were during the whole pandemic. You guys were so fucking annoying. Yeah. About fucking everything. Yeah yeah yeah yeah. And then now it's like yeah go do the podcast when you got COVID.

It's insane. Bro I was working brah. This is bullshit accent that you've got. Sorry I'm back. Alright there it is. I have COVID man. I'm sick. I'm super sick.

Are we rolling yet or no? Yeah. He was rolling man and we're going to keep all that in dude. Dude I'm super sick right now man. I'm not myself. How stupid is this that we're doing this episode while you're like this. But we waited all week. Dude I got first of all number one dude.

Dude let me talk to you tomorrow. Yeah I'm listening. I'm right here. Shaka. Oh are you shaka guy now because you bought a house in Hawaii? Shaka dude. Does everybody know this? Have we talked about this?

You guys bought a house in Hawaii? Aloha. How big is the house? It's a condo dog. Wakaliki Wakaliki. What the fuck is this thing that you're doing right now? I'm sorry man. Be you.

I'm sorry. He was listening to Tupac and Eminem. Oh this is when you do your rap days. This is when you do your rap days. Sometimes I get influenced by the music I listen to man. Alright we'll get okay. Get it out of your system. Alright alright alright.

No get it out of your system. Be the rap guy that you want to be. What's up what's up? I'm good. I'm good. That's it. That's enough. So you're not going to be able to do it then?

No. I thought for sure you would. So what happened was I was doing Tiger Belly last week or whatever and Gilbert he comes in right he's like he gives everyone COVID me and Kalyla and dude I was so sick man. Monday Tuesday Wednesday I just don't even remember it. It was a fucking blur bro. Did you take monoclonal antibodies? Trump took it.

You know you told me he called Bobby called me for the fans at home. Bobby called me and said I want to do the thing that Trump did. Oh Bobby just kick that camera. Hold on. Oh. Oopsie. Oopsie daisy. Oops.

I'm sorry dude I haven't left the house in a week. No I know. Yeah I know. I'm sick so it's like I don't even know. I'm just happy that you're sick and we're together. Yeah I don't even know. I think this is a great idea. Take your mask off.

Absolutely fucking not. Fuck you. What is your agro fucking attitude right now dude? Because you got COVID and you're dancing around thinking who cares. I know you're still going out and fucking around with COVID aren't you? No. I canceled. Tonight we were supposed to do the goddamn comedy jam.

I have to go. Right. Did we not? Yeah. I canceled all week. I also had a show at the improv tonight. Had to cancel that. Yeah.

Right. I canceled all week bro. So no I haven't been going out. Have I been going out? No. Yeah. Like I fucking believe her. This is the fucking first time yo dawg you fuck.

How come you're just getting into hip hop now? So you're so late. It's so late and you're getting into hip hop. Do you know any do you like you know Tyler the Creator just won another Grammy for Album of the Year. That's great. I don't know. What's it called?

I don't know. I just said no man. Have you heard it? Who are you talking to? Who are you talking to? Who are you talking to man? I don't like when you challenge me man. You're not a good friend dude.

I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. Because you got you were so free friddly diddly. You were so friddly diddly when the pandemic was up. No I wasn't. Yeah you're golfing. You're hanging out with your fucking white friends. Golfing.

You can be outside. You could golf. You're hanging out with your white friend doing fantasy football bullshit at bars. I wasn't doing it. I don't do fantasy football. Whatever. Watching the game. Whatever that game is.

Outside. We watch it outside. Whatever. You got it. Right dog? Yeah. And you know what? I didn't subject you to it.

I didn't do. I didn't subject you to it. Dude it's we had to put out a fucking podcast. This is our business. Right. So I'm going and we have to get it done by tonight. We're doing it. So how the fuck are we going to do it?

Fancy. Fancy. I didn't want to do it. I'm fucking sick. I know but you're doing a great job. Oh God. Did you get a fever? Yeah man.

I got the whole thing. Dude I got night shivers. I started sweating. Oh my God. I had fucking dreams about um. Do you have fever dreams? Yeah. I had a dream about Brad Pitt and he was just like I'm a big fan of your comedy and I gave

him a hug and I just started following around this fucking party and stuff and then I ran into Dov Davidoff. I knew it was him because he has cross eyes and I saw him from a part I go that's guy white guy. It looks like a fucking you know those pinheads. Yeah. From the fucking circus back in the day. Yeah.

That's what Dov Davidoff looks like to me. And I go what's up and he said what's up and then um that's it that was a dream. I went to my jacket off. Are you on steroids? You're so fucking antsy. It's crazy. No I haven't been. What the fuck man.

Let's be real dude. What's going on? I'm just so upset that you have COVID. I know. I know. What is going on? You're criticizing every thing I'm saying, every move I'm making. Every move you make, every step you take, every single day, every time I pray, I do

I am gay. I'm gay. Gay. I want to come out and tell you I'm gay. You're gay. You're gay. Rudy how's the house been with all these COVID patients dude? Don't do that.

What's up? Why are you coughing? I'm just coughing to your shirt if you're going to cough. This is such a bad idea to do this episode. No it's not. It's going great. He's coughing out loud. It's going great.

Whose mic is that? Docs? That'll be good. Yeah yeah. Oh man Bob you all got me sick again? Yeah. When he comes back he's going to be sick. How's it been at the COVID ward house?

When I found out about it I was kind of happy that they got it. Yes. I was a little happy too because it's what you'd get for talking shit to everyone else right? Yeah. Isn't that nice? Yeah. But Tito Bobby has been really dramatic.

Oh no shit. Under what way? You fucking ungrateful bitch. Don't. Don't. We're not doing that today. You ungrateful bitch. Under what way?

Come on. I just have to do everything because he keeps making excuses that he's so sick. Yeah. He can't move. He can't do anything. Yeah. I have to do all of it. That's right.

So listen. Yeah. I want to tell you how happy I am that you've graduated to like a car guy now. Do you want to tell everybody what you did this week and what I helped you do? Come on. So here's the deal. I have never had a nice car. Ever.

Correct. Right. I've always had Priests ask anyone at the comedy store. Parking lot guys. For the last 30 years I've just the hood is off. The window's broken. They're always worth about five grand, 10 grand maybe. Max.

Max. Right. And I liked it. I smoked in it. I shit in my car. Like literally shit. Yeah. Right.

I pee. I put burritos all over the place. Pepperonis. All kinds of stuff. And I always just used a car just to transport me from one place to another. You know how cars do. Sure. They transport you.

Yeah. The minimal. The minimal. You just want here to here. It doesn't. Right. Everything else doesn't matter. Right.

And I look at your fancy cars and I went and I should give myself a you know a nice thing. So I bought it. I bought an Audi sports back a five standard but I matted it. We got it matted. Black matted and tinted the windows looks pretty dope. It looks real nice. So sexy. Sexy.

And now do you feel a little bit more special? Do I look like when I was driving today pretty fucking special? Yeah. A lot of people were looking at the car. They look at it. Yeah. Well she got comfy and I stood outside my car and leaned against it like James Dean. Oh wow.

James Dean does. And I crossed my legs like this. So you lean and cross your legs. And I pretended I had a cigarette. I was going to say do we can we get you candy cigarettes? Maybe. Yeah. Yeah.

And I was and this kid from T-Mobile came up and he goes. That's still around. I don't know what T-Mobile is, is that? Is that Peppoy's? It's his cell phone. Oh it is? Oh I have no idea. The only person that we know that has it is Eric Griffin.

Yeah. You be real? Yeah. That's just because Cricket went out of business. Shut up Tito. Yeah. So then I asked you who you know that could matt it and you said this guy and he's amazing. He's incredible.

He really is amazing. In his place, the place looks really nice. I mean if you look around there's like old like Rolls Royces he's fixing up and Porsches. So that's that I got him from Tommy Segura. Segura gave me his information because he's done all his cars for him. Oh wow. And he was like anything you need this guy can do literally anything. Yeah.

Yeah. He's hand rebuilt cars. They'll rebuild them from nothing. Yeah. He's my guy for life. Isn't that wild to think that so we have no skill like that? We have zero skills outside of being funny. I have more skills outside of being funny.

Name any fucking skill you have outside of funny. Go. I can tell you the difference between good sunflower seeds and bad sunflower seeds. I'll tell you that right now. How do you know? What's the giveaway? It's the Christmas of the shell right with the nut taste like you know what I mean? Sometimes the nut is chewy.

That's not good at stale. You like you like you like hard nuts. I've had real human nuts in my mouth so I know nuts more than you do. What does a ball taste like? If you put a man's testicle in your mouth. It's like a dried squid. Oh, okay. They take a dried squid, dip it in water.

Right. Kind of like that texture. Don't look at her. You better not know what balls in your mouth taste like. You know what happened to her? She was on a date. When? Last week.

Just let me finish. She went on a date. I'm not going to say his name. He's cute. None of the guys that she hangs out with that she dates. Right. What does that mean? I don't like this.

Because dating to me implies that he's trying to woo her and court her and go to movies and dinners. There's a couple of dudes she dates. That's not that. And what does that mean? Rudy, explain it. That we just fuck. I don't like it either.

I don't like it either. It's so disgusting. As your Tito. Okay. As your, as Papa Santino. I just don't like it. I don't like it either. I don't like it either.

It's so disgusting. As your Tito. Okay. As your, as Papa Santino. We're not going to talk about it anymore. Just tell me you're being safe. Yes. Okay.

That's all I want to know. You never raw dog? No. Okay. I try to say it's so nice. I was like, are you being responsible? He's like, do you ever get fucking smashed out raw dick? Okay.

You get raw dick down? So she, but none of these guys knows who she lives with, what she does, any of it. Some of them have to know. No, they don't. You're saying not one guy you've been on a date with knows that you're on the show. No. But, so this is the fun part. How do you meet them?

Online. There's no fucking way. They don't look at your Instagram? I have another Instagram. So she, she has two, right? Her regular one, which has no followers. And a bad friend Rudy. And she, the bad friend Rudy has a hundred thousand, but she doesn't tell people about

that. She's ashamed of it. Are you really ashamed of the show? I just don't want them to know because I don't want, I don't know. It's weird. I thought you were like proud of this thing that we built. I am. I just don't want them to know immediately.

So anyway, that is, that's shame. She's ashamed of mom and dad. She is. All right. Go ahead. So anyway, what? So this kid doesn't know. Have any.

So they're at In-N-Out, right? Chick-fil-A. Chick-fil-A. And I'm sorry. So good. So good. What sauces do you get? Let me guess.

Polynesian. Do you get the Chick-fil-A sauce? Yeah. That's it. That's it. Yeah. Fucking snooze fest. So they're at Chick-fil-A.

So a guy that worked there went apeshit when he saw her. Rudy. Right? Oh, Rudy. Take a photo. Please take a photo. Right? And then so she takes a photo with them, right?

Yeah. And this kid who has no idea is like, are you famous? Oh, no. Yeah. What do you say to that? I just said kind of, but then. That's true. You are kind of famous.

Kind of. Yeah. 100,000 followers is a fucking lot. Yeah. But yeah. He just, he got really shocked. Oh. Yeah.

But didn't. But now she has the power. Oh, yeah, yeah. Right, right. Now it's like Chick-fil-A, no. Take me to fucking Maestros. Yeah. Maestros.

Maestros, yeah. Say take me to Maestros. I don't think he has a lot of money. Not your fucking problem. Yeah. You're famous now. Say put it on the card, bitch. Put it on a credit card.

Yeah. When he says, when he says, listen, I only have, you know, $45 to spend on dinner. You're like, not my problem. Get the credit card out. Yeah. I don't have a fucking Maestros. Does he pay for the Chick-fil-A? No, we have.

Fuck that. Oh my God. You can't even play with a full Chick-fil-A? I want to pay half. No, you don't. No, you don't. No, you don't. No.

Yeah. First of all, no. No, you don't. I want to say this too. Yeah. I keep telling you. Have I not told you this, right? You have a power.

Yeah. All right. And guy, I remember being 19, 20 years old, right? Yeah. Like, whatever a girl wanted, you know, run 30 miles that way and pick up a piece of rock and bring it back to me. You got it. I got it.

How big is the rock? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It could be a boulder. I'll get it. I'll bring it. I'll die. I'll break my back. Yeah, yeah.

They all find my skeletal body with a boulder on top of my body. But also, this guy is paying, only paying half, but if you start boinking this guy, he then has to pay for sure. Yeah. That's the definite rule. From now on. Yeah. Right?

Okay. So does he go half, half? He pays for the movies. What does he do? Can we not say what he does to make money? No, he's in college. Oh, so he doesn't have any money? They're in class together.

Yeah. Would you ever pay for the whole bill? Would you ever go, let me get this? Maybe if I invited him to a date, not him. Right. But have you ever invited a guy on it? Have you ever asked a guy on a date? No.

No, so it's never going to happen. No. This is the thing though. From now on, you have to know as a woman. It's very noble of you to pay half. You don't have to. But I feel guilty though. Why?

For what? I don't know because it should be equal. I understand. The reason why there's men's cologne, the reason why there's fancy cars, the reason why there's like nice jeans, guys don't want to do any of it. Here it is. The reason why there's anything is because of vagina. Of vagina.

That's the only reason. That's why there's buildings. That's why there's anything. Yeah. A skyscraper? Vagina. This desk. Yeah.

Yeah. He started building stuff to get vagina. Yeah. Yeah. Vagina is everything. It's better than crack. It's everything. Heroin.

Everything. Opium. It's all together. Everything. It's better. Vagina is like all your worst and favorite things rolled into one. It's like vagina is like writing Tatsu when you're feeling just the most elated and free and in love.

When you can't get vagina, you start shooting things. Yeah. You have to. God is vagina. God is vagina. And the Lord in the Bible, they're talking about vagina. They are. Yeah.

God is vagina. Jesus is the clit. Yes. The Holy Ghost is the butthole. Right? So you have the power. Look, I think it's noble of you to pay. I agree.

But if you don't want to, here's my thing. If you're hooking up with a guy, he has to pay. Okay. Yeah. If a girl is willing to put a penis in her mouth, the guy should pay. I think that's the rule. Yeah. Yeah.

Because who wants a penis in their mouth? It's so weird and gross. Oh, so I've never had, honestly, be honest with me. Go for it. Before you were married, when you were single ended, which is a scary thought, very scary thought. Okay. It's like a fucking wild animal on the fucking in its land hunting down prey.

Okay. Anyway, that's who you are. You're a fucking alpha. You know what I mean? I'm the gazelle. I'm the gazelle. Broken leg. I'm the predator.

Yeah. You're the prey. I am a prey. And sometimes the prey gets a little bit of scraps. Thank you. Definitely me. Yeah. But right.

I have never gone half just with a woman. On a date, I've always paid. Never once. Never once. Although I will say, I almost made a girl pay. Me too. I have a clause too. Go ahead.

Here's how I was. So I went on a blind date. I think I literally talked about this the other day. I went on a blind date. I took a bus from Culver City to West Hollywood. I didn't know West Hollywood. I knew it was a gay neighborhood, but I didn't know. No.

Yeah. I was new to Hollywood. And this girl was like a hookup, a blind date, through a friend. And she suggested one of those places on Santa Monica, like, you know, the rusty manhole or, God, what was it? What's it called? Trunks. Or one of those.

But this was the Mexican one. It was the Mexican-themed gay bar, right? And I didn't know. What's it called? Well, Fancy's got to know. What's it called, Chance? What's the Mexican gay bar? Black bean.

The black bean. And I got to tell you, I went there. I'm super comfortable and open with my sexuality. I don't give a fuck about any of that shit. But in the middle of the date, she's getting wasted. Dude, it's like 2 p.m. Right. And the guy comes over.

He's like, somebody's ready to party. And she's like, more drinks. And he's like, OK, next round's on me, but you guys got to do body shots. And I was like, no, I'm OK. I didn't want to drink anyway. Right. And she... Was he hot?

She was very good looking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she kept being like, come on, do it. Don't be so annoying. Well, that didn't turn you on. To do body shots off of a guy? No. Off a guy.

He... The server was saying, I'll buy the round. You have to suck it off my fucking chest. Oh, I thought you... I thought... Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. My bad. I thought the liquor was going to be on her.

That would have been fine. All right. No, I didn't know. This guy was like, I'll take care of the round. You got a body shot. And of course, she did one. She's already blacked out. It's 2.30 in the fucking afternoon.

I should have known this girl was a fucking psycho. And she sucks liquor off this guy, this beautiful black man's abs. The liquor got in the crevasse of his abs at like... In... Like a little... Like the LA River. Like, you know when it gets a little bit of water? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And it like made its way down the channel. And she's... Slurping all of it. Oh, my God. She's like, now you. Don't be fucking annoying. Yeah. And I did.

And I did. And I did. And I did. And I did a body shot off this guy. Yeah. Were you laughing? You must have been laughing. Did it feel good?

For me or him? For you. You're just sucking off of a guy. But he has abs. It was on his abs and his belly button. I licked his belly button, too. And then she made nothing of it. So I went to great lengths and she was like, uh, and I was like, cool, I better get some

fucking head. I just sucked that black guy's beautiful fucking abs. Yeah. And she was... She fucked me off. She was like, not paying attention, didn't give a fuck. I thought, if I do this, I'm in with this girl. She didn't care.

And then she was like, what are you doing tonight? And I was like, I don't know. What are you doing? She's like, I have plans. Maybe we can meet up later. And I was like, this is... She's fucking me off. She's used me to get drunk and get lunch.

So in my mind, I thought, should I ask her to pay half? I knew it wasn't going to go anywhere. And I still paid for her. I have a question for you. Yeah. If there was a male... I remember her name was Margot Robbie. I don't know what she's up to, but I think she's...

If there was a male comic that you had to suck liquor off their body, which one would it be? Jamar Neighbors. Probably the most sexy in shape black dude. Yeah. Yeah. Probably Jamar Neighbors. Jamar...

I mean, like... Not Eric Griffin? How could it stay on? What? It would be like a pocket. Oh. Right? It'd be like a fucking...

A lake. Oh, it'd be like a little lake in a valley. You'd have a bunch of big lakes, you're right? Fat pockets of lakes. But... No. Who would you suck it up? Who would you do a body shot of?

It doesn't like probably. Because you think he's sexy. No. Does he know you have a little bit of a physical crush on him? I don't have a physical crush on him. You've told me before that you think he's hot. You've said this off camera like five times. I think I told him that.

All right. So you do have kind of a crush on him. Like a man crush. Yeah. Like you do find him attractive. In your room, the door closes and he's like, I'm thinking about having you suck me, Bobby. What are you going to do? No.

He's stronger than you, bud. He's got like no upper body strength. That's not true. You're totally wrong. No, he doesn't. He's like Ken Jeong. Like I'll break every... From the waist up, I'll break every bone in his body.

Do you think we can set up a match between you and Ken Jeong to box or wrestle or something? I would fucking destroy him. Well, let's fucking do it then. He won't do it. Why not? That's just not his brand. What's your... What's his brand?

What's your brand? My brand is Anything Goes. What's her brand? Anything Goes. What's my brand? Anything Goes. What's a fancy's brand? Ken Jeong.

Ken Jeong. Door Dash. Hey, man, did you forget that one thing in the store? Now you can get snacks and drinks, household essentials in 30 minutes with Door Dash. Door Dash is my favorite delivery service because they have the best options. I think... I feel like they're quicker. Well, let's be honest.

It's the only one that we use. All right, so... It's the only one I know. Well, yeah, I don't know any... Yeah, yeah. Did you forget one thing at the store? Yeah. Yeah.

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Yeah? I have a very difficult time relaxing, man. Well, I have so much anxiety and stress and you know that's overwhelming and the fatigue that comes along with it. It's eroding my mental health. Yeah, yeah. The only way is what it does for me is it's like, I like listening to relaxing, you know, me and their meditation music.

I also like their soundscapes and stuff, like rain falling and stuff. I love rain falling. Yeah, I like the interface of their app, right? The app is easy to use. Yes. And it's, by the way, Headspace has scientifically proven to help you manage your feelings and your mental health. In fact, a study that they had recently, it proved that in two weeks, Headspace can reduce

your stress by up to 14%. That's pretty impressive because I got a lot of stress and by the way, I haven't been pooping as much. I'm going to be real with you. You're from all my stress and Headspace is the way to get a clearer mind. Whether you want to relieve stress, anxiety, sleep better or improve your focus, Headspace is your everyday dose of mindfulness for real life. You can do, you can go check out their mini meditations.

They got trials. They have all sorts of stuff on their app to try to get you in a better headspace. You like that? I love it. However you're feeling, you can try Headspace at headspace.com slash badfriends and get one month for free of their entire mindfulness library. Some of it that Bobby talked about before. This is the best headspace offer available.

So go to headspace.com slash badfriends today. That's right. That's headspace.com slash badfriends. Bad friends. But your skin is frail. I have shitty skin. Yeah. I, when we saw you at Magic Mountain, we were so concerned for you and your sister.

I put on sunscreen three times. We thought you guys just burst into fucking fire. I put on, you don't, you know, I put on, oh my God, there's Ghost Rider. I mean, that's literally how I thought you were going to burst into flames. I put on sunscreen multiple times. I was very safe. My skin is really different. It is different.

It's weird. It's weak, right? Yeah. Yeah. What do you mean? What's weak about my skin? It just looks like not suitable skin for outside temperatures. Don't talk about my fucking skin, pal.

Yeah. What about my skin? Yours is honestly. Yeah. It's so multicolored too. It's the best. Because there's parts that are red. There's parts that are yellow.

It's red. Yeah. Let me see your palms. What's a palm? Inside of your hand. Oh. See, that looks like a white guy's hand. Thank you.

I purposely did that. I mean, so when I'm wave, right, they don't see my face in a wave, they hit on my white guy. I have our next adventure, by the way. I know we did Six Flags already. What is it? We're going to a NASCAR. So check this out.

I got, I got an email from a buddy who is like, we've got the hookup VIP for you guys. I already did that though. Not with her. What's that? It's a NASCAR. Do you know what that is? Oh my God. So it's...

That guy, Bush, what's his name? Kyle Busch. His last name is Bush. Yeah, Kyle Busch. He put me in a car once. Did you drive it? No, I went to a NASCAR racing event and before his run, I did a run with him. Wait.

I think it's Kyle Busch, right? It's one of the Bushes. Kyle Busch. Yeah. He's an American professional. So what they do is what a NASCAR is, well, it's just a car, but they go around in a big circle. Super, super fucking fast.

And all the party happens on the infield. That's where you have drinks and food and... Let's do it. Because I can get... They literally were like, they want to give us free tickets and all that stuff. Let's go. You down? Do you like fast cars?

A lot of Trump supporters. Huh? A lot of Trump supporters. You mean righteous Americans? Let's just look that's it. I just want that to sit. I bought a house in Marlago, by the way. Did you really?

Yeah. No. Did you see that clip of Trump? By the way, it was so funny. There were these guys called Gaze for Trump, there was an organization called Gaze for Trump. Uh-huh. And they go, Mr. Trump over here, he's at Marlago, he's like doing a speech.

And they're like, it's Gaze for Trump. And he goes, where? Who? Where? And then he points and one of the guy goes, right over here, and he goes, you? You don't look gay. No. And the guy goes, we are.

And he goes, yeah, well, I'll take it. It was awesome. Oh my... The Gaze for Trump, baby. Yeah, I know one. But let me tell you something. Yeah. We're going to go to a NASCAR.

We're going to enjoy it. Is it scary? No. You don't do... You don't have to drive. But you said it's so fast. Yeah. But you're nowhere near the cars.

They just go in a big... Oh, you're not getting in the car? We can get you in one of the cars. No, it's fine. In fact, you know what? We should take her to a place where we can get into a car. Yeah. I want to do one of those, like a bumper ride kind of a thing.

No, no, no, no, no, no. You know where we should go? What? Down to Portia has a track and you can actually like drive in a Porsche with a professional driver. Like that. Around a track. Would you do that, Bob?

Yeah. I've done stuff like that. Yeah. But this is like not just a circle. This is going to be like... I'm just saying I've done stuff like it. All right. I hate what you do that.

You're the best. You've done it all. No, I've done a lot. Skydive. Skydive? Or dive it? Dive it. Skydive it.

Yeah. Should we go bad for skydiving? No, no, no, no. Why? Why? Why are you guys all shaking your fucking head? Why wouldn't we go skydiving? What's wrong with that?

It's too scary. Why? What are the chances of dying skydiving? What are the odds? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give me the odds. Let's see. I'll play by the odds.

What are the odds of dying while skydiving? Let's see this. According to most recent data gathered by the United States Parachute Association, there's some bias, of the 3.3 million skydives that are completed, there are 15 skydiving fatalities. Based on this data, that is.00045% chance of dying on a skydive. The statistics for dying on a tandem skydive are even less. So if you go with a coach,.0045%. Okay, what are the chances of dying just regular, just living your life?

Can I tell you? Yeah. A hundred. You have a hundred percent chance of dying. Interesting. Yeah, you're going to die. A hundred percent. There's literally.

Not like right now. What? What are the chances Bobby Lee dies right now? According to the census of Asian American comedians, so the AAC, Bobby Lee has a.025% chance of dying. So that's a 2.5% chance. Or no. All right.

So let's skydive. So it's worth it. Let's do it. All right. Let's go. You're going. You're going to go. You're going to be a plane professional.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. You're not scared. I mean, it would be so scary, but I'll do it. How fun. It'll be fun. Fancy, you got to do it.

You got to do it, Fancy. I'm serious. I have to touch the, you guys land in. Oh, he wants to film it. Oh, he has to film it. No. No, he needs to be part of it. You need to be part of it.

Because Pete can film. Because Pete can't probably can't go up. Yeah. Yeah. He's too big. You'll fall right to the floor. The plane's like this. Yeah.

We'll go in a circle. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Pete, you got to get off the floor. We got to get off the floor. Stand in the middle of the fucking plane, Pete. But before we do that, right, we have to do Superman's Revenge.

No. Yeah. We got to go back. Yeah. Yeah. We got to do Superman's Revenge and then we'll do Skydiving. And I think this year we really should amp it up and go to like, not scary farms when we get to Halloween.

I think we should go, I think we should go to Knott's Berry Farm. Do you know what that is? Yeah. But I've never been there. I think we need to go. Do they have rides there? Yes. Do they have scary ones?

I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. I mean, not like Six Flags, I don't think. Yeah. But who goes there? The little kids and families and us. Oh, really?

Well, we're family. That's true. Is this not our family? That's true. Don't you feel like as we've grown, this is more like when I called you the other day and to check in on you like I did every fucking day? Tell the audience that I really have been a good friend in checking on you every day. Yeah.

And you've not been the best guy to check in, but... Who's checked in? Who's checked in of your friends? Who's checked in on you? Dominic Monaghan. Dominic Monaghan, the actor? Yeah. How many times did he call you?

Every day. Did he say he was going to bring you stuff? Yeah. Did he bring you stuff? No. No. Did you? I asked you, would you like anything you said?

No. He offered Legos. I offered food. I said, Bobby, can I bring you anything? Yeah. And I said, I'll go get you. But, but, but... I said, I'll get you steak from fucking Mastros.

I'll get you whatever you want. Can I get you anything? And you said, no. Don't. Don't. For a hobbit that I barely know to do it, I mean, he has to travel from Middle Earth. I don't know where he lives with Pippin, but... Well, he's got to get on one of those big...

What are those things that they ride, too? Those elephants. Yeah. Those elephants. Can he just... Does he call it poodoo? And it comes running? Yeah.

Yeah. Is it on standby? I don't, I don't know. But, oh, you know what? No, you know how he travels? How? Those large eagles. You ever made it?

What? Do you remember when... Yes. Remember when, you know what I mean, Frodo and Samwise Gamgee, that you thought they were going to die, but then Gandalf... I don't know the wizard, though. Who swooped in? Because what happens is Gandalf has to take a moth and whisper, right, and then the moth

has to fly out. You've never seen those. You have to watch those movies. Lord of the Rings. Yeah. Well, we haven't talked about the slap, have we? No, but we've talked about it. It's been ad nauseam.

I talked about it so much already. It's like, you know what? I think Will Smith was in the right after a week, that was the conclusion. Yeah, because I'm so tired of it. Now I'm like, yeah, no, it was, yeah. Well, it's just because I, you know, just real quick comment on it is that, you know, this is a guy, James O'Brien, who has a radio show in England. It's a call-in show.

And a lot of people from England that called in, especially, were on Will Smith's side. No way. Yeah. Saying what? Sighting what? Well, we know, you know, it was guys calling it that my wife has the same disease. So? Right?

It's not a disease, by the way. Elopecia? Yeah, it's like a condition. A condition. Has the same condition. You don't die. Nobody dies from it. But women, right, care so much about, you know what I mean, how they look in their hair

and it becomes a very self-conscious thing, right? Okay. They look in the mirror and they, you know, they, with clumps of hair coming out of your head. Imagine. I can, I can only imagine Kolyla, my girlfriend, walking in the bathroom and her holding a chunk of hair and crying and going, oh my God, it looks so ugly or whatever people go through, right?

But you still wouldn't use violence if somebody made a joke about it. Because I physically can't. No, because it, because you know better, that's a psychotic move, what he did. That's crazy person shit. That's Scientology being like, you are King Richard. Become King Richard. He's a fucking psychopath. And during his fucking acceptance speech, the nutbag was like, love makes you do crazy

things. Like, no, it doesn't. You're a fucking nightmare of a human being. I'm not agreeing with it. I'm just saying what people's point of view is. But people are dumb. I don't listen to people because they don't know what the fuck, most people are fucking more.

It was assault. Yeah. Straight. And also on top of it. You can't just smack a dude in the face. You're a performer. Yeah. Will.

You should just, that's like the biggest no-no. Heat. But dude. When somebody's performing. Yeah. Especially when you're a performer to bombard a stage like that, it's just so fucking. If Will yelled out from his seat, shut the fuck up and got serious, I would still have respected that because I was like, oh man, he's got something going on.

He was upset about the joke and the joke wasn't good and nice and blah, blah, blah. I would have got, people would have gotten over it. But the fact that he walked up there and physically did something, you're like, just yelling your seat. Go shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Or afterwards grab his arm because you know him and go, can I talk to you? Talk to him backstage.

Can you do that shit ever again? And I gotta tell you, that message would have been stronger because now Rock is on tour and I bet he's lighting his ass up. He is. Yeah. Well, that's what he's going to get now. And now Will has to fucking disappear. Or he walks up on stage, grabs a mic, right?

Zee News spaceship or whatever the fuck. He grabs a mic and he, he does a joke back or he. He starts around, parents just don't understand. He starts doing. No. Or he just, he basically says, listen, you know what I mean? My wife has alopecia. She's very self conscious about it and I just think that that was, you know, not cool and

just walk off stage. Yeah. And that would have been even more awkward. There. Okay. It just has no way to do it. Yeah. He should have broke out into a song from Wild Wild West and that would have been, I think

everybody would have forgiven him. Somebody said to me the other day though and Fancy will probably go in and out on this. Someone goes, Will Smith is the most respected like actor who's transcended race and class and like, dude, everybody loves him of every color, every, everywhere, everywhere you come from. Yeah. But he's not that good of an actor. And I was like, well, and I literally couldn't think of one movie where I was like, wow,

he was so good and that movie was so good. He was good in King Richard. You didn't even see it. You didn't even see it. That's how I know you're a fucking liar. You didn't even see it. You know, nobody saw it. He wouldn't ask.

Nobody saw it. The clip that they showed where he was like, you know, oh, he was crying. Yeah. It was a good scene. Who the fuck cares? Name one movie he made that you go, he was a great actor and the movie was great. Oh, um, six degrees of separation. Not a real thing.

Seven degrees. What's the movie called? Six degrees of separation. Six degrees of separation. Did you see it though? Yeah. What is it about? Well, it was 20 years ago, I forgot, but he was, I remember watching it going because

I remember him being in Fresh Prince and him transitioning into movies and going, this is not going to work, right? But what it's like, you know, um, what's his name in the lighthouse, um, Batman. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. One of those movies where you go, oh, this kid got skills. Okay.

So my point is fancy can attest to this. He's never made a movie where he was a great actor and it was great. I just said there was one. But anyway, he got 20 happiness. He was pretty good. It was fine. The movie was fine. Yeah.

Bad boys. But okay. But these are actually, are you better than him? As an actor? Yeah. Yeah. You better believe it. You better believe it.

You better believe it because I believe it. But you're not. No, he's awesome. I think he's incredible. I loved Will Smith. Yeah. I've always loved him. Yeah.

Bad boys was amazing. I think men in black was incredible. I'm just saying he was never, it was, he was never a great actor. He's just a lovable, awesome dude. Yeah. He was a great actor. In what? You named a movie 20 fucking years ago.

He was very charismatic. He was like a Tom Cruise type. Correct. Tom Cruise actually is a great actor. I'm sorry, but he is. Yeah. But he wanted to get his roles. I can't because Tom Cruise is a better actor.

But here's my argument though, dude. And little white guy, huge buff black guy. Big difference. I hate it when people go, Keanu Reeves is a good actor. He's a great actor. Uh-uh. Okay. He is.

He is awesome to watch. He's amazing. I believe him in every movie. Yeah. Right? Because he's playing. No, it doesn't matter. Right?

Yeah. But I know what it's like, right? What's the through line of Point Break of Bill and Ted of John Wick? What's the through line? He was good in Glass House with Sandra Bullock. Sure. Okay. Sure.

Movie tanked, but yeah. He was another movie. It was a simple plan or one of those kind of movies. Simple plan. Was that that? Yeah. Where he played a really bad guy. Yep.

Yeah. He was amazing in that. He's a great actor. Yeah. I didn't say he's not. Right? That can lead a movie and have years of a career. I mean, Keanu, we are both examples of that.

Right? They're great actors, great leading men, and I believe everything they do, and I will always, maybe not will now, but I will always buy a ticket to watch Keanu Reeves. Yeah, me too, but I love him. He's amazing. But I love him. Great actor. And I'll still support Will Smith, by the way.

I don't give a shit, dude. You know, I'm down for violence. Yeah. You know I'm right. He's not an argument. He's not a good actor and fancy can attest that he's not. You really fucking are gonna offend me because I have COVID and I know what you're trying to do.

What am I trying to do? You're trying to provoke my fucking COVID. I want to get your heart beat up so you get a heart attack. Right. I'm gonna cough on your face. Imagine how hard I'll punch you if you do. Imagine. Think about it right now.

Right. I'll punch you so fucking hard the mat will come off your car. The mat finished. It'll be fucking. All right. Let's not do that. I like that. Anyway.

Who's your favorite actor, Rudy Jules? I'm not good with movies. Don't ask me that. I said your favorite actor. Just the person that you like. It's funny because the other day we watched, she'd never seen Truman Show. Oh my God. So like 45 minutes into the thing, I go, do you know what's about?

She goes, I don't know what's going on. I was confused. Did you figure it out at some point? Yeah. I had to tell her. No. I said that. I had to tell you.

I had to fucking tell you. No. I said, I said, oh, he did a show and then after like 10 minutes, you said, yes, it's in the show. No. But I know. But you didn't know. You go, who is he?

What's going on? Yeah. I knew that it was a show, but you didn't know that he didn't know that he was on a show. Yeah. I didn't know he was born and didn't know what's happening. Ed Harris, by the way, Ed Harris is so good in that movie. It's like annoying where you're like, this guy is so believable as this sociopath who's

puppeteering human beings. Yeah. But you still like him. Yeah. How crazy. How crazy that he's love. Okay. Now there's a great actor.

That's a good actor. Ed Harris is a fucking superstar actor. I can't watch him. Why? Because he's pale. Because of two moments. Oh, no. What are they?

Number one moment. Like if you watch, he did a movie called History of Violence. Love. Okay. If you watch the press conference of History of Violence. He does a panel of the other actors. He does something where they had to shut everything down and they had to end the fucking press conference.

Why? Here at this panel. Sitting next to me. He seems fine. Yeah. And director. Mr. Ed Harris. Love that too.

Yeah. Ed. You want to add any? Watch. Not particularly. I mean, yeah, you did do one. That's right. What is that, what is that, you know, what is that, what is it, what is violence, what

is it, you know, that's what the movie's about. Absolutely love that. He's making an example of what violence is. He shocked the room. That's what the movie was about. I actually love that clip. I see nothing wrong with that guy. Did you see anything wrong with that, Rudy?

Yeah, that was scary. That was fucking scary. The guy said the movie is called the History of Violence. He just showed what violence can do and he didn't do it to anybody else, Will Smith. He didn't smack anybody. Is that the lesson? That's the lesson. If you want to be a crazy actor, display it, don't hurt other people.

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Let me say this. Yeah, you've never seen a great actor of that caliber. Yeah, that isn't loopy name one Right Marlon Marlon was gloopy Yeah, the loopiest one of the loopiest. They used to call him Mr. Loopy when you come to set Meryl Streep is the only one Yeah, who'd you say Meryl Streep? Meryl Streep. We just haven't seen the truth yet We haven't seen the truth. We haven't seen the Will Smith moment because they all have it Yeah, but he but his snap Meryl has done all the right things for so long I cannot wait until somebody says the wrong thing and she whips out a tit And squirts it. What's the milk? Yeah, this is milk. All right

All over a fucking reporter's face. What is that? Yeah, that's milk Yeah, yeah, but you see the fucking prayer he goes. Okay, that's the end of the press conference Maybe he wanted to go home. Maybe Ed was like if I fucking freak out I can get back to the hotel faster Yeah, but his energy before that was I just that's what my dad used to do. It's like was smiling. Yeah, everything Everything fine Hey, baby, how are you? Like that kind of switch. Yeah, I don't like it I know yeah every grad every grad every great actor does it but it not I don't want to watch it now

But um anyone listening watch the rock bloopers. He does even more uncomfortable shit and as a director I would just be like, okay. Um, we're gonna call it a day. I Would I would I just called it a day? I mean you you can't wrap the day Yeah, it's the same thing that Christian Bale did when he went on that rant. Yeah, but that but but I got to tell you something. Yeah What is that sound guy doing walking around? Yeah, yeah, fancy takes the side of Christian Bale, don't you it is distracted It's remarkably distracted when you're trying to get deep in character And you know what yeah what the public doesn't know that we that we heard afterwards was they already had had an interaction

Where Christian had asked him politely, please don't move across the shot Right two times two times. I see okay, man Right now, you know, it's deliberate. Yeah, because you've been on set. You've been on set, you know It's a difficult job It's all it's all everyone's everyone's trying their best. You know what sucks though I was on Magnum once not the same kind of thing but same same son of caliber same caliber Anyway, Magnum P. I was on Magnum once and I remember people talking during one of my close-ups It's hard and I just I want I wanted to do a Christian Bale

No, right, but I'm like I I'll get fired. There's no I don't have the power. Yeah, or the Providence to do it So I just went I'll just do it again guys You're mean, but it's like it is rude. It is rude. I hate it speaking of which we've just lost Oh, no, we just lost a great man who in acting in the world of acting who he's not dead But we've lost him as an actor Bruce Willis man. I know aphasia. Do you know what aphasia is? No aphasia's I think it's the definition is to be looked up because I'm not I'm stupid But you basically your communication skills go out the window so you you can think stuff, but not say it It's like Bruce Bruce. Who's Bruce Willis?

Let's get the fuck let's get the fuck out of here. Who's Bruce Willis Bruce Willis that's him. Do you have you seen him before I think He was in fast I'm curious. You think he was in fast in the furious fast and furious not Diesel you think it's in diesel. No, no, not here. Yeah. Do you think it do you think that's ludicrous? Yeah, yeah, who do you think that is who do you think that is I don't know But I think he's in fast and furious. Was he ever in a fast and furious movie. He was he was All right, you know Bruce Willis congratulations. How can we not know that I've never seen yeah I mean, I don't watch all the fucking fast and furious. I would I know yeah, yeah

He's got a condition where he he starts to be able to not aphasia. I think it's called APHS. I a maybe I heard those problems already on set or whatever or where he was like, okay, so I told I'm okay. I told it what a guy that I I'm new a guy that I don't know that well that works in our business and Who knows if this story is real? Mm-hmm. He says years ago Him and Sam Jackson were in Morocco At a at a like a release party for something. Yeah, and they were at this nightclub

And he's sitting at a booth and the bass is bumping so hard in there So it's so filled with people and everyone's rummaging about a Thing fell off the wall and hit him in the fucking head Sam Jackson. No Bruce Bruce Willis Yeah, and then he had to be rushed to a hospital for to because his head sliced open his fucking head and he says that With all of these stunts that he did amongst bashing up his body and his head is where

Maybe some of this could come from I don't know if any of that's true Yeah, but they do say it does can come from head trauma. Oh really that's a part of it It says it's either from head trauma. It's hereditary head trauma or there was another thing that could have led to it He also looks like he fuck like diehard, but he fucks hard So you think if he fucks so hard his head is yeah, yeah, but banging his head Well, you know, they say your head moves around in your skull like your brain like a football player their brain moves Yeah, so if he's fucking hard enough his brain is bouncing inside of that. Yeah, they should do a movie go fuck hard Well, that could be his last film

Yeah, and let me tell you something God bless Bruce Willis that dude's the fucking goat is a legend I have so I'm so sad that I have a Bruce Willis story. Give it to me So when I first moved to LA, this is in 97 77 Yeah, no 1990s 97, right? I was at the Chinese man theater. That's appropriate I'm gonna let it go. They just named it after you Really funny if I'm gonna let it go that's fine. Okay, so um, you're at the Wong theater. What you're at the Wong theater Okay. Oh, do my supposed to be across the street? No, this is the Wong theater Bang the gong Wong. All right, go ahead. All right clip that

Don't Shane Gillis me. Yeah. Yeah, just clip that but anyway, um, I Was I don't know what movie I was gonna I was watching but I see two gigantic bodyguards crouching tiger hidden dragon or something So anyway, um, you see two gigantic bodyguards I can you get all the Asian jokes out right away because they throw me off a little bit. I didn't have any that's all I had Yeah, yeah, that's all I had because you did the Wong the Wong was good Just give me the give me the thing. Anyway, two big guys. Are they sumo wrestlers? Well? Keep it. Yeah, I like it Go ahead and so um

And I go on those two guys suits and then behind them I see a guy with bald head and I realized it's Bruce Willis, right? And I kind of follow them because I'd never in my mind Have been around at that time. I've never seen a celebrity before your brand. Well, I'm sure I do I do like comics and stuff, right? But you've never been around a movie star a movie star like a real bonafide movie true movie star true movie star and I follow them and there's an elevator that goes up somewhere and And they both they get in Bruce gets in and I they won't let me in the elevator I literally follow them. I stopped them right and I smile and he winked at me

And then the elevator closed and they went up. I never saw him again So sexy, but I just remember going like it. I just I still remember it, you know, it was like wow Wow, that was amazing. Yeah, he's still he's one of those guys Because there's no star like even like I've seen Oscar Isaac before. Okay, you know, I mean and I've said hi to him and stuff like that Didn't even look at me. But my point is But my point is I don't have that same like ah Anymore with people, you know, who could still make you feel that way Is there a celebrity it has to be like it has to have it has to come from an older era for me when you were a kid

When I was a kid, you know, I mean, so if I um, I Don't know Who who a who anyone with you? I Think when I did a row. Yeah, I think to Nero probably narrow. Yeah, I think like um Pachino, yeah, but Pachino, but if I but you know, if you met Pachino now, it'd be tough Why? Because I think he's a little Yeah

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think it has to be someone like that for my youth like well for me Jim Carrey and then I get Be making when he became my boss was yeah, that was very surreal. Yeah, I always felt I always felt like it was fake I ran to him last week. Where Malibu. No me and me and Kalala went to Keegan Michael Key's birthday party Oh, nice and and Jim Carrey was there with standing there with Kevin Neal and And when I walked in he was a small group, maybe 60 people maskless. Yeah Yeah, but this is before Penn. I got COVID It was a Friday. Mm-hmm. Sure. Maybe. Yeah, but go ahead. Ron Howard was there. He definitely gave you COVID Yeah, and once I walked in I was just like we were already uncomfortable

Too many famous people. Yeah, was it? No, it was just like it's too intimate and you know, it's just not my deal What do you mean by that? Well, because it's just not my I'm not I don't feel like if it was comics It's one thing, but it's just like it was just a bunch of like elements. I didn't know anybody Yeah, but you could get to know any of them, right? So anyway, we walked in and Jim Immediately waves to me, which makes me feel comfortable. Yeah, I walk up. He shakes my hand I go, what's up, dude? And he goes, hey, man and Bobby Lee or whatever and then he goes he just in Kalala shakes his hand And I just thought I've always just thought he was like one of the nicest guys. He's so nice

He is he's he's lovely What was great is I didn't I went right to the buffet because I you know I mean it sounds right and there was another guy there Kind of mumbling. It's like I don't know what I'm doing here. It's not and look up. It was Tony Hale, you know, Tony I love Tony Hale and While we hung out with him all night. I mean, he came to our table. We just hung out all night, but um Anyway, that was my Jim Carrey's song. I just watched a Korean drama 25 21 Oh, I finish it today. It was so sad and they cried a lot. Did you cry today? Yeah, you cry a lot Yeah, but I'm on my periods. Maybe I'm more emotional. Good to know. Yeah, I

Had been going on a cry fest yesterday. Do you see me crying when I was watching my iPad? No. Yeah, why was where were you watching? Do I watch? Fathers holding babies for the first time. Oh, no, then bursting into tears Oh my god, or like I like reunion stuff Yeah, you know, I mean like when a soldier comes home and sees their kid You want a really good cry video? Watch a guy get listened to sound for the first time with cochlear implants. I've seen that. Do you know what that is? Or or the glasses. Oh my god. The color glasses see for the first time. No, the

They can see see for the first time. It's not no Where they can see color for the first time. Yeah, yeah, they can kind of yeah, you know, man It's amazing. The old man, you know, I mean putting the glasses on he's never seen purple. He starts balling He starts balling isn't that that makes you really take it that really takes it for granted because look at how beautiful All these colors are and some people can't see them. Yeah, look at me I'm filled with color. I know you are and I can see you for the first time. You see me now Yeah, see me here me now. I am a son. Yeah. Yeah, I'm a son. I'm a brother Here's another thing that I want to say to you. Okay, this is that I

I really think that you and I should have way more gratitude or our lives. I agree I I don't think that I think you hold on to anger. I think that like you just don't don't don't guess like me Don't do that. Don't just say I hold on to anger. Well, that's not real. I Can get angry, but I don't hold on to anger. Okay, you don't hold on to anger But you absorb it And I redistributed you redistributed right through violence. Correct. Okay. I'm I that's how I tell you I'm right But what I want to say is is that like when you see undercover boss? What a show what a show and you know when an employee does well. Yeah, and they give them a show

Emanuel what you did for me is you open my eyes up, right? And this is you know all the you know difficulties that you've got through your life And you're still got a positive add to them floor and I'm gonna give you $300 Right, and I'm gonna contribute it to your college fund. Oh, let me tell you I'm about to quit this job, bitch So I'm out Well, no, but Emanuel mm-hmm What I'm saying to you is that we want you at the job. I don't want to be at this motherfucker anymore I'm not trying to work for general meals for the rest of my life. Bitch. I'm out, but you're so great on the floor

Yeah, bitch because I'm highest fuck Well, Emanuel will you take the $300 and then I mean give it to me cat you got cash No, no, no, no, well, you know, it's we're incorporating this Venmo me bitch Well, we anyway Venmo me bitch. Thank you Emanuel Whenever those undercover boss it is funny. They're like you're such a good little worker. Yeah, we're gonna give you a thousand dollars Yeah, and they think that's gonna like be the thing for these people. You're like what I'm saying that make them CEO You want to be a real boss? Yeah swap. You guys want to try it here. What's that? You guys want to try it here? Yeah, I want to try it here. You're fired. Yeah, isn't that at the right show, but what I'm saying though

You're fired people think you you you you we need to be more grateful No, but you also realize that people like have real struggles and stuff and you know a little helps You know I mean alright, so let's do this then. Yeah, I get it. I get a I get barrages of messages To like fan pages or whatever that says bad friends has helped me tremendously during tough times Yeah, so we want to take a second to thank everyone for listening to the show for watching the show Yeah, and if we're helping you that means you're helping us we're doing this together Yeah, and if we need more gratitude, what do we need to do then? Do you want to set up a foundation or something? We should be do a fan a foundation for some of our fans. Okay, that are maybe uglier

So you want an ugly fan fund? Yeah ugly fan fun so we can get plot cosmetic surgeries for people All right, so listen up if you are or if you are you a cliff note. What's it? What's that a cliff palette a cliff note? No, it's a cliff note. Yeah, it's a B sharp a B sharp You know I mean yeah a diminished B sharp cliff Right then we will help with the surgery. Okay, how about this? I had a good friend who had that when we were young by the way, and it's a serious thing, so it's not funny How about this if you're an ugly fan, yeah, if you're a uf we're gonna start a uff the Nugget fan fund And we're gonna raise some money. I think we might need to help out

I want to join. Yeah, what do you need to get done a lot? I can work. What do you want to start my ears? I love your ears. No, and my nose. You're beautiful. You're perfect. You're beautiful. Just the way you are. Yeah, what no No, you know let's do a real let's do a real fun a real fun for a fan If you have something surgery that you can't afford. Yeah, it'll hit us up I had a friend. I'm being genuine. Yeah, I had a friend with a cliff note Yeah, and I didn't ever want him to smile because you could why you saw all of it No, no because when the cliff when people with cliff notes smile the cliff opens up a little bit. It's a cleft palette cleft

A cleft cleft a cleft note. Is it a cleft note? I don't know what it is. You keep saying cliff notes You know cliff notes are like With books the cliff notes. Oh, I Have COVID man. I know. Yeah, I don't know what I'm saying But why do you feel lately? What has been hitting you about gratitude for real is it because when you got sick? You thought I'm lucky that I'm alive and life is good I don't know when you turn 50 and you get sober again You know and you just kind of look at your life. You and you just kind of go

You know, I should be the happiest man alive. Are you not happy right now, Bob? No, I I'm getting there I want to get happy, you know, and so I'm just you know doing different things to get there and It's it's you know, I've always and I'm sure you know, you're probably the similar is we're always Like there's a carrot You know, I had like we're holding a carrot and we're constantly chasing it like a horsey You saying like the carrot is on our back and we're just no, no Like, you know when your horse you put a carrot in front of the horsey and I got it

You know me and it's like so we're horses and the business has the carrots. Yes, and I don't want the carrot there You don't want the carrot at all anymore. Yeah Because it's like there's nothing I already have it you already, but I'm always constantly thinking that there's a fucking carrot in front of me I agree, right, but now what are you gonna eat? That's true potato. I would put a potato in front of me. Like a baked potato, right? I constantly chase that. That's happens when you make a little bit of money. You just get fatter So it went from a carrot to a car. You're a vegetable to car. Yeah, that's really what it is But my point though is is that you know, you we have to kind of go This is it

This is good. Everything that I have is it. This is it. Yeah, that's like everything is pussy It's the same thing. Like I was really bummed about like the show that you got that I didn't get What show beef beef on Netflix coming out? Hopefully Right, so like I was when you when I first found out and I'm open. I want to talk about it I'm only on three episodes doesn't matter. I wanted it bad Why did you think you wanted it so bad? Because I like Ravi a lot and I like a 24 and I like Steven and Ali and I like this to provenance of the show and I just wanted it. I auditioned for a couple times and I didn't get it. It's fine

But you know, I was bummed that you know, no, I was happy that you got a congratulation. I happy I'm so you're so talented. You're allowed to be bummed that I got it But I have to admit there was but that's where where it stemmed from like like what am I I should hear here's the thing One time when I was a kid I I started doing stand-up. I started with a guy named Freddy Soto. I know Freddy. Well, go ahead Okay, and he passed one of the funniest guys I've ever seen yeah stage, but when we were younger him I stood open mics together Okay, and then a couple years down the road. He got a show and I was living in San Diego

He was living in LA He came down to do a show in San Diego and he told me I got this stand-up show and instead of saying congratulations I go, how'd you get that? I want to get it and then he looked at me and he goes no Congratulations, like what the fuck man, right and I realized then it's like that's not who I want to be That's gross. Who do you want to be? I? Just want to be happy for other people's success and just be happy with what I have and then like that's it That's good. Yeah, but you know, sometimes I slip into a competitive Like where's mine kind of a fucking mentality and I don't want to be there anymore. I like that a lot. Yeah

Yeah, so um, congratulations. Thank you We just got picked up for a second season and a third I think yeah, congratulations. I'm getting a fucking phone call Hello No, I'm on the show and I'm off. You know, I'm only doing a couple episodes. Yeah, I'm really literally barely on the show But I will say it is daunting. It's all career. It's literally all Korean people. Yeah, it's hundreds We played basketball at a Korean church. Yeah, and they took a photo. Yeah, and it and it looks like I'm adopted It's it's a hundred Korean people and me. Yeah, it's weird very well. It's just amazing that I couldn't get a career I was a little I was a little shocked. Well, you know, the roles were for us

That's even more people. It's okay. The carrot's gone The carrot's gone and I'm happy to be where I am and I'm grateful that I have the what I have how about this The character's name is Bobby. I know that I read it the care the carrot is right there. I know that but I Couldn't get it. No, it's not that I think it was more that I Think it's more that I'm not a good actor No, it was more that you went away to rehab, which is the truth that is the truth So unfortunately if we want to be true to the fans, it's that they know I mean you went away to rehab when they were doing that show and then you I also lost another movie

You but you had to focus on you dude. That was more sucked man I lost I this other movie with Zoe Deschanel and I was in rehab and they're like you lost it because they were shooting and So what? That's what I'm saying is is that I know I'm calm. Well I'm fucking calm what I'm telling everyone listening, right? Yeah is is that It's just everything is just meant to be and it's fine If it happens it happens. It happens. It happens. It doesn't it doesn't and it's like I don't want to live like that anymore I like that. Yeah, you're feeling more at peace now. I'm trying

This is I like this you do. I just think maybe maybe sobriety your age and COVID has kind of all Combined to just level Bob out. Maybe yeah It's good Just anything else you want to say or admit? Yeah, I'm so jealous of you. I Want to kill you Sometimes I want to kill you Well, honestly, yeah, I you're better than me, huh? Yeah a little bit. Yeah, you're better than me

You know, you know, there's one thing I did tell we did talk about me and David show talked about you Well, we talked about you all the time actually. Yeah, you're kind of the point of conversation often But he said he said a lot of stuff about you a Lot of it good a lot of it bad. Yeah. Yeah But I he I did say to him, you know Being along and I'm being genuine right now. Yeah Being along with you for this ride and as close as we've gotten over the past couple of years We've been friends for years, but we've gotten so close. Yeah

And I said there's a side of you that that he David or other people don't know that I do know And I'm gonna be honest. Yeah Is that beneath the things that I fucking hate about you? Yeah, and there's a bunch I have those things. I don't like about you as well, but just just let me finish. All right Do you know there's a scene in beetle juice? A different movie, please There's a scene in beetle juice where he's trying to dig in the in the in the fake world that Alec Baldwin Alec Baldwin Steven Baldwin

Alec Alec Alec was Alec was had made that little model. Wait wait beetle. That's the one that he didn't kill anybody on anyway And beetle juice was digging up the fake model and he had to rip up all this ground And it's very vivid in my mind because I watch a lot as a kid And he was digging and digging and digging and I feel that way with you I feel like I have dug past all of the bullshit that I don't like that I know is just you being you sometimes you're being mean to me for no reason or saying fucked up shit for no reason And then I get down to the guts of it all and down inside is beetle juice Is my sweet little lord of the afterlife. Yeah, my little prince. Uh-huh my little spiky weird hair. Yeah

Um, your sister's hot. Oh fucking piece of shit I should be genuine. Yeah, I know what I don't know that those guys is that you deep down are a super caring I am I would even deep down it's off the surface You have to go deep the surface the surface is bullshit with you. It's all bullshit. What are you talking about? You know what I'm talking about Can I say something you bury yourself in your phone? You disappear from conversation? You oftentimes go blah blah blah. I don't care goodbye and you hang up the phone on me You're short with me sometimes you can be rude dismissive mean you can be a bully even though you're tiny you can be a bully

But but really what I've seen the last couple of years Is a sweet sweet sweet man a sweet caring loving little man who just wants to be around people that love him That respect him and enjoy him May say go to you now Yeah, may you say go to me may go to you may you say go to me now? All right, so um, thank you for being a bad friend Google it Every time you say google. I think you're gonna say something else google it

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