Bad Friends - Chirs Distefano Is On Patreon Today

Episode Date: October 18, 2024

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Hey, we're doing a bad friends live show. It's called scary times USA scary time USA And how do you watch it go to moment co slash bad friends? It's Thursday, October 24th. Yeah, it's 6 p.m We're gonna have exclusive merch available for it. So bad friends scary time USA America dude. Yeah, like over 24 that 6 p.m. PST. We're live streaming it. So join us, moment.co slash bad friends. We'll also be hosting an interactive VIP after party after the show and active patron members can join the VIP after party for free. Free, Scary Times USA.

You like to do batminton? No. Okay, but no probably football, American football. Yeah, baseball. Baseball, basketball. Yes. That's your thing. Yeah, not hockey, I don't really do hockey. Yeah, I don'tball, basketball. Yes. That's your thing. Yeah, not hockey. I don't really do hockey.

Yeah, I don't do hockey either. I only do soccer. Yeah, and do you know why? Cause I'm a... Cause you have little feet. Dude, dude. You wanna tell Slot Time Ibravinovich that he has little feet?

I will tell him that. Dude, dude, he's got six foot nine feet, dude. Yeah, he's a big mother. He's a big guy. He's not six foot nine, but he's tall. Do you know him? No, dude, if I saw him, I would melt. Really? Yeah, he's a big mother. He's a big guy. He's not six foot nine, but he's tall. Do you know him? No, dude, if I saw him, I would melt. Really?

Yeah, I would be like, oh, I don't know what to say to you. What'd they be? You're from Sweden. You think you would go back, you would get knocked back into Korea? What do you mean? Like Korean accent. You would say, I don't know what to say to you.

Yeah, whenever I'm around to celebrate, I go back to, you know, Korea. Yeah, Korean guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you look good, I saw you yesterday. Joe Mon. I'm sorry, I, you didn't text. Oh, no, no, I tell you what you did last night. It was bullshit. Tell him what I, tell him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you look good, I saw you yesterday. Joe Mon. I'm sorry, I, you didn't take- Oh no, I tell you what you did last night,

it was bullshit. Tell him what I told him. And out of pocket, and insincere, and deceptive, and creating chaos within my own life. Yes. Right, and I don't like it. Tell him. I don't like it when you come into town

and you create chaos, and with your diabol- If you don't get me one, dude. Chrissy Kass, thank you, dude. I got you a pecan, with this new, like, hollow- your diabol. If you don't get me one dude, Chrissy Cass. Thank you It looks like all cream dude, you know lactose intolerant though Thank you It's all cream dude, I like Carlos Carlos got a Carlos is in good shape on top. He's got a chubby little butt Dude, he's not a chubbyubby butt. It's a Brazilian butt situation.

You know what? Carlos has got a butt like a toddler butt. I've never seen a toddler's butt, but I'm taking your word for it. If I pulled out a picture of my three year old's butt, Carlos, you wouldn't know which one is. Yo, it's just that. It's just.

How many kids do you have again? Three kids. Three kids. Yeah. Is one of the butts of your kids not good? What my, my, no, they all got good butts. From you? Yeah. Is one of the butts of your kids not good? What my, no, they all got good butts. From you? Yeah, no, no, from their mom.

Their mom has a really good butt. And all my kids were born with tattooed lips on their ass cheeks. Ooh. You like that? You request that or is that genetics? It's genetics. Whoa, can we go back to last night?

Yeah, let's go back. So I'm at the improv. I'm sitting there with some people, a couple of girls, some guys, my agents are there too. Oh really? And their assistants, yeah. And you come up from behind and then you kiss me on the cheek

and then you try to kiss me on the lips and then you just kind of leave, right? And I had to explain, it took about 20 minutes to tell people that we're not gay lovers. I go, no, dude, I'm not gay. They're like, dude, that seemed like super intimate and like you're gonna see your husband later. Tonight I go, he just does that, we just do that.

And I just, next time you do that in front of strangers, you need to explain to people that this is not just a heterosexual fucking situation. But then I said to you, but then I said to you, cause you told me you were sad, and then what I did was when I was kissing you, and then I slapped you a little bit,

and I felt like I slapped you too hard. No, it wasn't hard. Cause I wrote to you, and you never wrote back, I said, sorry that last slap was unintentionally too hard. No, I know that. That's when I was mad at the slap. I said, I love you. It's the kisses that.

Call me if you ever want to talk. Yeah, yeah. And then I said. I prefer slaps and kisses. I think I was like, cut that out. But I just, cause I felt like, I prefer slaps and kisses. I figured I'd say, put that up. Okay. But I just, cause I felt like, you know, like we have a thing where, you know, cause I kissed

you once on the head cause I really missed you. And then I liked the way it felt. So I kissed you more. And that's what it was. Yeah, I know. But just kiss me once. Even the king gets kissed on the cheek once. One time.

I mean, if as a peasant, if I got to kiss the king, I'd want to kiss him more, but I would only kiss him once. And then I kissed, and then you were sweating, was warm out yesterday, and then I tasted cabbage on my lips for the whole, the rest of the night. Pickled cabbage.

Kimchi joke. Kimchi joke. That was a really good joke. Thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because most people just said kimchi, but I want to go to the root. Yeah, Jomon. You know what Jomon is?

Jomon is, oh, let me guess. J-O-M-O-N. Jomon, Jomon is, I was- They said that-O-N. Jomon, Jomon is a... They said a black guy's name. So what, Michael Jackson's scream? Kick, kick, kick. What, what? Jomon!

What, what, what?