Bad Friends - Family Feud

Episode Date: April 22, 2024

Get MORE Bad Friends at our Patreon!! https://www.patreon.com/badfriends Tour Tickets: https://badfriendspod.com Thank you to our Sponsors: BLUECHEW & SeatGeek • SeatGeek. Use code BADFRIENDS for 2...0% at +https://www.ticketsonsale.com/ 0:00 Bobby's Black Magic Voodoo 2:24 Smelly Nubs & Lap Dances 10:50 King Of Condom, Carlos Gets Lucky 20:10 Bad Friends Tour Ending 26:55 Family Feud is On 56:43 Is Nic Cage The Best Actor Ever? 1:03:12 World's Oldest Man More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Juicy Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jetskijohnson/?hl=en More Fancy SOS VHS: https://www.youtube.com/@SOSVHS Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fancyb.1 More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: 7EQUIS https://www.7equis.net/ Podcast Producer: Andrés Rosende This episode contains paid promotion. #bobbylee #andrewsantino #badfriends #sponsored #ads Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This NBA season make every three-pointer alley-oop and buzzer beater even more exciting with FanDuel. Download the app today to see why we're North America's number one sportsbook. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gamling.com call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. You believe, you seriously believe in voodoo dolls? I believe in New Orleans black magic. And that's not being racial. Yeah, it sounds like it is. That's what it's called. Black magic and that's not being racial. Yeah, it sounds like it is all black magic. I'm not being racial
Starting point is 00:00:28 Okay, let's see He doesn't notice there's nothing there. Oh you gotta find it this went right in your vagina Did it work yeah, Okay, I'll stop. You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? A white dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. You two are something.
Starting point is 00:00:50 We're bad friends. This is such a nice gift that we got from a fan. Where was this in, Niagara or was it in? It was in Niagara. And then they go, then they said, we didn't have enough time to do yours to you. And I saw your heartbreak a little bit. No, you know, I don't care about that stuff. I thought that was very nice that they gave you something.
Starting point is 00:01:11 I don't need to have reciprocation for gifts. When you get something, I don't need to get anything. I don't mind. Mostly because I don't get any, but it's also because- Oh, you get some. Pretty rarely, but I think you get gifts because you ask for them often. I don't ask for gifts.
Starting point is 00:01:28 That's fucking ridiculous, dude. You definitely fucking do. I deserve them. That's he? But that's different than asking. Why do you think you deserve gifts from fans? Well, I'm a conduit of... You're having a stroke?
Starting point is 00:01:41 No, I just... I'm really kind of going, why do I need them? Yeah. I think it's a good, you know, it's one of my love languages. Your love languages is gift receiving. Yeah. One of my love languages is gifts receiving. Usually it's given.
Starting point is 00:01:57 Mine's touch and gift receiving. Mine is- And blow jobs. That's my love language. Myrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I love language. Well, that's kind of like, this is like genders now. If there's gonna be 50 genders, then there can be 50. Right. Words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, that's you. Quality time and physical touch. I guess pee in my face is physical touch.
Starting point is 00:02:34 Yeah. So it doesn't bother that. Well, are they touching you though? Yeah. I guess. A part of insides, something inside is touching my body, so I guess that is physical touch. Yeah, it's physical touch.
Starting point is 00:02:42 Yeah, yeah. Could you ever do like a Shiza video, you know, in Germany where they poop on each other? Could you ever do that? Like a poop video? With you. You would? With you, Carlos and Macon.
Starting point is 00:02:52 Well, let me tell you why I'm out on Carlos. Cause Carlos' experience from this past weekend. He's a bad little naughty boy. We'll talk, get that in the- Huh? You're out? I'm out on you for a little while. Oh no.
Starting point is 00:03:03 I think you're a bad little boy. I think you're a gross little dirty scum nugget. You're jealous? I'm out on you for a little while. Oh no. I think you're a bad little boy. I think you're a gross little dirty scum nugget. You're jealous, dude. I'm not jealous, dude. I wouldn't have done what you did. What you did was bottom of the barrel scum bucket nugget nugget. That is, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:18 It was terrible. You know what that is when you get like a six piece nugget from McDonald's and there's always one that you're like, oh my God. That's you dude. I can't eat that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:27 What did they do to it? Yeah. What did you do? What did I do? I did nothing. Right. No, you didn't go into McDonald's. You were outside.
Starting point is 00:03:35 Wait, wait, wait. First of all, I don't know what you're implying, but I'm trying to be positive today because it is tax week. Oh, okay. So I'm trying to be mindful and very positive. So clearly say you're slam. And you look ridiculous today. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:50 But we won't even address it. Go ahead, what were you saying? Well, I just heard that you had not such a great time at McDonald's. Yeah, I opened up my nugget box and there was no nuggets. And who told you this information? Oh, there's only one rat in this room. Look, Carlos.
Starting point is 00:04:08 We're just having a lot. All right. So this is what happened. Oh, my God. You were you spread lies, spread rumors. We'll have to address it. When you came down from the elevator at like 2 30 in the morning and I'm walking up the elevator, you were you were so happy to see me.
Starting point is 00:04:21 Why do you get you? You know, you've got some like Trump Trumpisms on your expressions where you go, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I learned from the past. I know. You know what I mean? Yeah. Coach is king. You have Bidenism.
Starting point is 00:04:33 Sleepy. Yeah. So, so I was coming down, you were coming up and the reason why I smiled at you was as if, like if you remember that, you know, in Game of Thrones or medieval times where they jousting with the horse? Yeah. Right. I was obviously the one that lost. Right. So I'm in the fucking armor.
Starting point is 00:04:54 Well, you're off your horse. I'm off the horse. You didn't get on the horse. You barely got on the horse. Right. And I'm like, there's blood and you have your little pole thing. You're looking down on me. That's what, I would smile if you were jousting. I was like, you got me this time, sir. Yeah, good game. Good game, right? So that's what that smile was about, right?
Starting point is 00:05:12 So what happened was, Give it up, baby. We both met somebody that night. What time was it? Niagara Falls. Niagara Falls, this was, this was just about midnight is the departure from the show. So I brought a girl up, I don't know what it was.
Starting point is 00:05:33 Gone. I was sulking in the green room. Well, you were? I just, the show didn't go as well as I wanted. One of the worst shows we've ever done. I don't know, it was just like something wasn't clicking. Was it me? I feel like it was me. It was certainly not done. I don't know, it was just like something wasn't clicking. Was it me? I feel like it was me.
Starting point is 00:05:46 It was certainly not you. Every joke I said ate it. That's not true. That's actually not true. We can all be genuine about it. There was a guy with one leg. The one legged guy. He took his leg off.
Starting point is 00:05:56 That was awesome. And in my mind it was, I got a joke. Right? So he takes his leg off. And this is like 5,000 people. Yeah, there's a lot of people. Right, so he takes his leg off and he's kind of hopping around on people. Yeah, there's a lot of people. Right, so he takes his leg off, and he's kinda hopping around on stage,
Starting point is 00:06:08 and I go, I'm gonna save this joke. Yeah, I heard you store it. I heard it go in your head. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a penny bin. Yeah, yeah. Ka-ting! And then, finally there was like a little gap
Starting point is 00:06:18 where I go, I do it. My instincts are usually right. They're almost always right. So I look at him and I go, you have a beautiful nub. And silence. It was almost as if there was no one there. Right?
Starting point is 00:06:36 And when that happens, you smile, but your eyes show all. Yeah, yeah. So I did. It was. I laughed. No, you did. Yeah, I did. No was. I laughed. Yeah, I did. Do you have zingers?
Starting point is 00:06:49 No, no, no. Oh, you're a zing master, but we had to smell the guys. When you take for those. Oh, my God. It was the worst dude for our fans that have one leg or one limb missing. And the sleeve he took off the thing and he goes, it smells pretty bad. And we both said, like, I mean, who cares? It can't be that he's like, trust me, you don't want to. And we smelled it. I genuinely, I almost threw up in the booth.
Starting point is 00:07:11 The booth, the booth. In his boot, because it was unbelievable. Yeah, it's a little bit of BO. It's like BO, rotten Bidussi. Rotten Bidussi for sure. And you know what else it is? What? Like, like. Rotten pussy, too.. Rotten Badoosie for sure. And you know what else it is? What? Like, like.
Starting point is 00:07:25 Rotten pussy. Like an old dingleberry. Like a dingleberry that's been attached for a long time and it got rehydrated. Like a little bit of water splashed on it. Yeah, you know, in Korea, some of the bathrooms. By the way. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:39 Whatever you're gonna say, yes. Yes. In Korea, some of the bathrooms, right, are still a hole in the ground, right? Because when my grandparents lived. China, same thing. Yeah, yeah. So I remember I was a kid,
Starting point is 00:07:49 I don't know if I've ever talked about this, have I? When I was a kid, I go, how long has this been here? And my grandfather goes, thousand years. Thousand years of shit. Right, so basically there's a hole in the ground and you can look down and there's, it's like a well of shit.
Starting point is 00:08:05 Yeah. Right? And I thought, my great, great, great, great grandfather's shit is down there. That's awesome. Yeah. Shit well. Yeah, the bottom of that layer is what his fucking nudge fell through.
Starting point is 00:08:17 Smell this, smell that. Just that. We huffed it. Yeah. We passed it around. I meet a young lady. You met a young lady, which was a good high point after the show.
Starting point is 00:08:28 And Indian, which I have to only say because... Brunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-brunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dung Is that racist? I don't think it is. Yeah, a little met this young woman. She was very nice and very- I had never- Pretty. Hooked up with an Indian woman. I'm shocked. You've never even had like a makeout session with an Indian girl? Never. So you, but you've hooked up with almost every other color of the rainbow. Yeah. No, not black. You've never had a black girl. Oh, yeah. I have. One. Bob. One. Full or half? Full, half.
Starting point is 00:09:21 100%. Yeah. Not- The kind that Robert De Niro would like. You never had India. Never. Never. I think it was the one I've had Persian. I've been hooked up with Persian. Yeah, I've heard it with Mexico.
Starting point is 00:09:35 What's up, bro? I've had South American. Ooh, what? Brazil? No, but he's Argentine. Argentina. Yeah, that's that Argentina. But I hear and so no Central Americans, by the way. No, but is he Argentine or something? Argentina? Yeah. That's that, Argentina.
Starting point is 00:09:45 Argentina. But I hear. And so- No Central Americans, by the way. But he was, she was more like messy. Oh. So she kind of looked like Andres. No, messy like her vagina was like very dirty.
Starting point is 00:09:57 Oh, was her sloppy? Yeah. It was very dirty. But- But I can say, but I'm a scum! Yeah. So, so, you know, and then she just,
Starting point is 00:10:10 she gets naked. We make out a little bit, she gets naked. She goes, I don't want to do this. I was just, I go, I thought, you know, obviously. Sure. I'm fine. She's like, I could just, just kind of give you a lapgancy kind of thing.
Starting point is 00:10:22 Oh, okay. Well, since we're here. Yeah. You know, might as well. Wylston Niagara Falls. Yeah, like in McDonald's, I get the nuggets. You gotta. Right, so it's like.
Starting point is 00:10:33 But do you ever really get the nuggets? I don't. That's the point. Right. Were you fully clothed? I was fully clothed. Very weird. Very weird, right?
Starting point is 00:10:40 Why didn't you get naked? She's naked, you're clothed? She didn't want me to. She said- Because as she got naked, I was like doing this and she goes, no, I'm not feel comfortable about this. She's butt naked? So I'm standing there like,
Starting point is 00:10:53 and she's going, yeah, I'll give you a lap dance. I was just going, okay. It's so weird for some one party to get naked, the other one to be like, I don't want you to get naked. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So she does a lap dance very good. Sure. Then she gets clothed and she goes, bye. And then I don't want you to take it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So she does a lap dance, very good. Sure. Then she gets clothed and she goes, bye.
Starting point is 00:11:06 And then I walk her down. That's nice though. Yeah, but then he comes up with just relief. Like the Joker. Like, right, right, right. This dirty nut scum. Nugget, nugget, nugget. Right, nugget, right.
Starting point is 00:11:20 Went to a strip club. Well, speaking of lap dances, yeah, he went to a strip club. Right. Went to a private room. Well, speaking of lap dances, yeah, he went to a strip club. Right, went to a private room. Sober. Yeah, fine. And tell the story then, Nugget. This girl.
Starting point is 00:11:32 Friend. My girlfriend. Just a bud. Yeah, she messaged me and she was like, oh, you're going to be in Canada. I'll be close to Niagara Falls. I'll make it a work trip. I'll go there.
Starting point is 00:11:43 Nice. In parentheses, I'm a stripper. Right. And I went, oh, cool. Her'll make it a work trip. I'll go there. Nice. In parentheses, I'm a stripper. Right. Oh, cool. Her job's everywhere, I guess. Exactly. Yeah. And so she can't get off work during the show. If she would you have said, Oh, cool. She was funny. She was a nuclear engineer. Of course. So I got I'm at the set. I'm a nuclear engineer. I'm a nuclear engineer. What are you talking, you're... I'm the girl. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:12:07 Just go on. No, no, no, stop. That's the weirdest improv. Yeah, what are you doing? Yeah, what is this, a David Lynch improv, right? I'm a nuclear engineer. It just never ends, it goes back and forth. It's like repetition in-
Starting point is 00:12:20 So am I. In meisler technique. There's an exercise in meisler technique, it's an acting style, where you repeat the word. Yeah. Until you hit emotions so you say it different. That's funny because you've literally done this a million times to Andrew,
Starting point is 00:12:33 where you've been the wrong character in the improv scene. Dude, Nuggy, you're begging for trouble. Dude, it's tough tonight. Buddy. It's a tough day. What are you begging for? Are you looking for a fucking? Well, it's a tough day. I don't think I? Are you looking for a fucking? It's a tough day
Starting point is 00:12:45 I don't think I did anything wrong in Niagara Falls. You did something right? I didn't say you did anything wrong. We're We're celebrating in your victory Okay, he dude you just jousted he's just he's still picking up some of his armor. Yeah, be nice You're right. Yeah, you don't parade around after the joust and show off. Yeah, you're right now you help him up off the ground Which I did. All right, continue. So you go out of your door is what I'm saying. I'm emotional. Yeah, go ahead. I like that you said she couldn't get off work Like it's a fucking corporate gig like she has to go ask for PTO to not dance Can't you just say I'm not gonna dance tonight?
Starting point is 00:13:30 Well, she got there like around four and I think the law is you have to dance for five hours the law There's dancer laws, dude. What do you mean? She had to get a permit to dance there? It's Canada Well, yeah for business, but she could also just not dance Yeah, but she wanted to like being good standings at the club. Got it guys that work there seems scary Really? Yeah at a strip club. They seemed like shady fellows a lot of Drake's around Yeah, so I asked her if there's a private room we can go to at the strip club She goes, of course, there's a VIP room the champagne room Exactly, and those usually cost a couple hundred bucks, right?
Starting point is 00:14:06 At least. No, it was $50 for 30 minutes. It's Canada. Yeah, Canada. Jesus, Niagara Falls. But it's not really a private room. There's a curtain. And on the sides, you can still see.
Starting point is 00:14:17 So we go there. I spent $100. We're in there the whole time. So this was a transaction. I didn't give it to her. I gave it to some Asian lady who's like. There's always an Asian lady roaming around collecting cash. Why not?
Starting point is 00:14:32 I know it's great, I don't even know what she does. She was like the pimp of the VIP area. God bless. Yeah, we went in there, we had some laughs and hung out. You guys, so what did you just chuckle about meme culture on the internet, or what did you guys have a laugh about? She had run into some people that night that were at our show, she was talking about that. Let's get back to...
Starting point is 00:14:52 Brass tacks. Just talking, huh? We did other things. Explain. Please explain. We had sex. Interesting. Bad boy.
Starting point is 00:15:03 Very bad. Say the other thing. What? sex. Oh, interesting. Bad boy. Very bad. Say the other thing. What? Oh, that she wants to get married now? No. What? What the fuck are you talking about?
Starting point is 00:15:15 She wants to get married? Yeah. Oh yeah, you texted me. It was so bad good, huh? I'm not gonna say the other thing. I could tell right now that you're- Oh wait, the other thing. Yeah. Yeah, tell us the other thing
Starting point is 00:15:25 Oh my god the thing I said at breakfast. Yeah, which is what? No, well we're adding information that we don't even need right now, dude. You mean I murdered somebody three years ago I mean yeah, I don't want to know that Yeah, you talking about the blood all over the front seat of my car That's from high school man. Yeah No, dude. Yeah, dude. What are you, what? What's the other thing? I can't remember the other thing now.
Starting point is 00:15:48 Yeah, you do. You didn't wear a condom. Oh, that's so normal, of course. I wouldn't remember that. Okay. Wow. Okay. Incredible. Bobby's acting like he's like the king of condoms. I am the king of condoms.
Starting point is 00:16:02 He is, they call him king of condom when he comes into the, he walks in and goes, King of Condom, King of Condom. And the people at 7-Eleven are like, here he is, King of Condom. He gets them by the thousand pack. I think Bobby's- No, I just use gum. Oh, you do?
Starting point is 00:16:17 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, none of them fits. Bubblicious? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think Bobby's making reference to the fact that you were with a dancer who I think you told us reference to the fact that you were with a dancer who I think you told us also Plays the game monopoly Kind of yeah kind of the monopoly of life. No, she plays the game of life. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, you should be careful I'll tell you what she does. She plays hungry hungry hippos, but the little balls are dicks All right, all right, all right wait you woke, oppen. Blunga lunga, lunga, lunga, blunga, blunga, blunga.
Starting point is 00:16:45 All right, all right, all right. Wait, you woke up on the wrong side of the bed today? No, I woke up in a good side. So did I. Yeah, I woke up. I danced in the shower this morning. Yeah, I was singing today when I woke up. But these guys, huh?
Starting point is 00:16:54 Right, I was singing and then, because you know, I'm getting my house done. It's almost done. No, the bedroom's gonna take two more weeks. Oh my God. I know. What is she doing in there? But the living room, she put the furniture in. Right.
Starting point is 00:17:06 And I walked in my living room, had nothing. It was also, it was like an open house. Like you were like, yeah, it was pretty bare. Nothing. Yeah. Nothing. Yeah. Right. And to see a rug and curtains and all that stuff. It just, I was, I walked into my living room last night. I sat there for the first time and just kind of like watched stuff, you know what I mean? But I was in a good mood. My cats were like, I woke up like, da na na da na da na, right? Just, da na na da na da.
Starting point is 00:17:34 And my cats were like, da na na na na na. It was like, we were in, and then fuck faces, man. Bringing me down today, dude. Scum nuggets over there. Why, what did I do? What did he do, guys? You didn't do anything. I'm a good employer.
Starting point is 00:17:50 Well, can I just say something? Yeah. You were mad at me. For what? The next morning. You were acting nice and proud of me today, but the next morning when I saw you, you were pretty upset with me for getting laid.
Starting point is 00:17:59 No, he wasn't upset at the fact that you got laid. Thank you, Andrew. That's an insane comment. Pure insanity. You know better. Maybe selfish, you're right. No, he's not upset that you got laid. Thank you, Andrew. That's an insane comment. Pure insanity. You know better. Maybe selfish, you're right. No, he's not upset that you got laid. Thank you, Andrew.
Starting point is 00:18:09 At all. He got upset because he didn't get laid. No, I don't need to get laid. It was still a good experience. It's almost like you guys before the show talked about fucking with him. It feels like all of you guys had like a meeting about how to fuck with him.
Starting point is 00:18:24 Doesn't it feel that way? It does feel, I being fucked with I feel like being fucked like even with the kid Yeah, his tone earlier was oh dude. Not right attitude Magood over there. That was I mean, maybe is it something that I can change? I don't think you did anything. I know but I'm just I'm just from the for my employees What is something that I can do to change? Well, this is an opportunity to make a comment. This is HR. So let's hear it. You do owe me $100.
Starting point is 00:18:55 Holy shit. Holy shit. I swear to fucking God. When he said that, my eyes started vibrating. I think it's rage. Dude, it's like, it's fucking rage. Okay, so you'll get that. No, I don't want it.
Starting point is 00:19:10 No. Oh, you're gonna get it. Oh, you're gonna get it, buddy. You want it? You got it. You'll get it. You got it. Yes, Carlos.
Starting point is 00:19:20 I'll give you interest. Oh, wow. What's interest worth nowadays? What's interest worth? I'm not gonna give him monetary interest. I'm gonna you interest. Oh wow, what's interest worth nowadays? What's interest? I'm not gonna give him monetary interest. I'm gonna give him something else. Something better. Something better.
Starting point is 00:19:31 Yeah, something that. Thank you. Yeah. Oh no, you're not gonna like it. You know what's funny? Yesterday I got you and Andrew a present for the end of the tour. So while you're preparing for this,
Starting point is 00:19:42 remember that I have a present coming. Do we get it at the end of the tour? We get it right present coming. Do we get it at the end of the tour? We get it right now. No, you get it at the end of the tour, but I had to throw it in there. Is this because you've ordered it and it hasn't come yet, or you actually haven't gotten anything, but you're thinking about it right now?
Starting point is 00:19:52 No, I ordered it and it hasn't come yet. I don't think you ordered it. No, I swear to God, I did everything last night. And let me ask you a real question. Did we pay for it? No. Let me ask you another question. Okay.
Starting point is 00:20:01 Let me ask you another question. We did, didn't we? No, of course not. Did we pay for it? No, I promise, no. Oh, come on. I'm gonna see a charge on the comedy card. I literally promised you another question. Okay. Let me ask you another question. We did, didn't we? No, of course not. I promise, no. Oh, come on. I'm gonna see a charge on the comedy card. I literally promise you I'd be for it. Okay.
Starting point is 00:20:10 It would have been nice if you would have held that detail and then just gave it to us. It would have been such a big surprise. I know, but I had to throw it in there. Right now you did? Yeah, that's when I get fiery for the end of the tour. Exactly. He's trying to swim his way upstream now.
Starting point is 00:20:22 He's so far down. He's trying to get back. And it's not gonna work, but it's okay. Let's start off on a better now. He's so far down. He's trying to get back and it's not going to work, but it's OK. Let's start off on a better note. We had a great morning. You and I were singing this morning. I was singing. I was playing with the dog.
Starting point is 00:20:32 What song were you singing? Roddy Rich is my favorite. Get hyped. Rapper right now. I fucking love Roddy Rich. Everything he makes. I'm always like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, it gets me in my feels, dude.
Starting point is 00:20:48 What is I don't know. His voice is perfect. His rhythms are always beats are so good. They're so good. Ugh. I don't know, man. I fuck with Roddy Rich. Hard Roddy.
Starting point is 00:20:59 Get at me. Come say what's up to bad friends. Roddy Rich on this show. Amazing. I'm right right right. Anyway, I know you don't like be amazing. Come, come, come, Roddy, Roddy. Anyway. I know, you don't like black music. I love it. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:21:08 I'm gonna get Roddy Ricch. All music is black music, actually. So you do like black music. You don't like hip hop. Yeah, it all stems from blues, some jazz. It all stems from tribal music, as we're really gonna go way back. Let's go way back.
Starting point is 00:21:18 Let's go way, way back. If you go way back, it's from noise. If you go way, way back. You know what I mean? When we were organisms? Well, no. Yeah's go way, way back. You know what I mean? When we were organisms? Well, no. Yeah, yeah. Amoebas.
Starting point is 00:21:28 Is that an amoeba? Can you imagine even black little amoebas like... Yeah, yeah, yeah. They could beatbox when they were like little microorganisms. Amoeba. Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me. Anyway, let's go. So I'm happy for you.
Starting point is 00:21:47 Let's move on. You know what I mean? That was a great, but you know, it's very, very good. Very, very, very, very good. So what I want to say is, you know, it's the end of the tour. We have a couple more left. We have Tucson and Vegas and that's it. Maybe we'll go back in 2026.
Starting point is 00:22:02 We're gonna take some time off. 25, we'll take some time off for the rest of the year. I mean, in the United States that is. We're going to Australia at the end of the year. Tickets will be coming on sale soon. People keep asking us, Australia, we're coming down. And we're going to Dubai, which is a one-off, one show. So, it's a little sad,
Starting point is 00:22:17 but I think we're gonna see each other every week here on the pond. Yeah, dude. We'll see each other at the club. Nothing's gonna change. And we'll hang out. Yeah, nothing's gonna change. Everything's gonna be good. No, are you feeling a little anxious about it
Starting point is 00:22:25 or you do sound like you're a little sad? I do think it was a little weird because when I said to you the tour is almost over, you did kind of react where I think you might, it's a little bit of a melancholy thing for you. Well, you know, the truth be told, it is sad. Because when I go on the road alone, it's just not as fun.
Starting point is 00:22:46 It's totally different. Yeah, I'm by myself, I have some openers. There's more pressure, I think, because of the fact that it's my thing. And it's just fun to, when you're on stage, especially in the standup portions, I know that they're getting a good show. Same.
Starting point is 00:23:04 So it's like- And then we go out together, and then the best part is they're getting a good show. Same. So it's like- And then we go out together, and then the best part is we go eat a great meal. Yeah, so it's been really fun. It saved my life actually last year. You think so? Oh yeah, those early dates really saved my life, man. I was in a bad state, so I just kind of look at it all.
Starting point is 00:23:22 Life, there's a lot of curve balls right now. There's a lot of things happening. And it's like, I had said, I think earlier on that I go, I think 2024 is the best year I've ever had. But now certain things are happening that there's some roadblocks and some trials and tribulations. But I'm still finding joy in it
Starting point is 00:23:43 because I know everything passes. Nothing is forever. Everything passes. This too shall pass. Yeah. Don't you think? I totally, I believe in that whole lot of it. When I see that video of me as a kid, you know, on my Instagram where I was, you know,
Starting point is 00:23:56 I mean doing standup and I'm watching, you know, at the restaurant working. I, when I look at that guy, I go, oh, that guy was riddled with all these problems and issues and with people and circumstances and scenarios, and none of those things should have been an issue because I don't even know what they were. Yeah, but how nice.
Starting point is 00:24:16 But we worried so hard, when you're young, you worry so hard about the things that are going on, like I'm never gonna have this and that, and then none of that came true. And so it's like right now I'm trying to go in five years, I'm gonna look back at now and go, oh, why did I worry about that? Yeah, so I'm not, I don't wanna worry about it now
Starting point is 00:24:34 because as you get older, you know, the end's coming, man. And soon, Do you see his laugh? Yeah, yeah. That's crazy, dude. And what is it? The end is near and right that soon. Judgment cometh and right that soon.
Starting point is 00:24:48 You know, Andreas, when I die and I look down, because I will be looking down at my services and my funeral and stuff. Oh. I think he means because you're in the casket. I know, I think he means I'm in hell. I think he means in the casket. No, no.
Starting point is 00:25:03 That's what I think. You know what's interesting is you will be looking up in the casket. No, no. That's what I think. You know what's interesting is you will be looking up from the casket at the people surrounding you crying. Regardless of where I'm at. And I think about me, I'll be cremated, but I'll be so be a lump of dust, but I'll want them to save my eyes.
Starting point is 00:25:15 So I just want the lump of cremation with two little eyeballs. Dude, that's so good. Is that funny? Maybe your lips too. Yeah, yeah. But it's like- Yeah, eyes, lips, and it's on a, oh my God.
Starting point is 00:25:26 It's me doing the Bobby Mom face? Yeah. You know what? Can you do it in a bag? Yeah, what? A clear bag with your eyes, your lips, and I'm gonna put a hook on it, and for every Christmas, it's gonna be an ornament.
Starting point is 00:25:39 Blue tube. You guys, I'm out, I'm single, I like to go out, and I wanna get, you know, I'm older. You wanna get a little bit of something something. And I'm telling you, blue chew helps my situation out. I chew on that stuff, and all of a sudden, bing bing bing, magic dog. Is that what it sounds like when you get a boner? Bing bing bing.
Starting point is 00:25:57 Yeah. Blue chew is a unique online service that delivers the same active ingredients as Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra, but in a chewable tablet, and at a fraction of the cost. You can take them anytime Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra, but in a chewable tablet and at a fraction of the cost. You can take them anytime, anywhere, day or night. You can plan ahead or be ready
Starting point is 00:26:10 whenever an opportunity arises. Bobby's been out there in these streets. Bluechew has helped him a lot. In fact, he ran out of Bluechew last time we were on the road and was panicking, but that's okay. But the best part, Andrew, it's done online. So no visits to the doctor's office, no awkward conversation, and no waiting in line at the pharmacy.
Starting point is 00:26:29 That's right. And BlueChu tablets are made in the USA. And they're prepared and shipped directly to your door in a discreet package. So if you're someone that needs a little bit of help, no big deal, so many of us do. BlueChu wants to help you have better sex. Discover your options at BlueChu.com.
Starting point is 00:26:43 Chew it and do it. And we've got a special deal for our listeners. Try BlueChu free when you use our promo code Bad Friends at checkout. Just pay $5 shipping. That's BlueChu.com promo code B-A-D-F-R-I-E-N-D-S to receive your first month free. Visit BlueChu.com for more details and important safety information. We thank BlueChu for sponsoring the podcast. Anyway, so it's sad, the end of the thing, but you know, there's always a beginning. There's always a new one. One door closes, another one opens.
Starting point is 00:27:11 Like look at this, special moment for us. This episode will have already come out, but in a few days, we're gonna be playing Family Feud. Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, blunga, dun, ga, dun, ga, dun, ga, blunga, dun. No, no, no. Don't do that at Family Feud. I promise I won't.
Starting point is 00:27:27 Because I will do that on national TV. Okay. So- We're playing Family Feud. So what happened was I was, I was hanging out with Rachel Bielson and Olivia. Rachel Bielson? And Olivia.
Starting point is 00:27:40 And they- From the OC? And they asked me, Rachel goes, do you want to do Family Feud on my family? And I go, I'd be honored. And then two days later I get a call that Family Feud wants my family. Right, so I'm like, I said yes immediately.
Starting point is 00:27:57 Now I can't sleep at night because I want to be a fool. No. I don't know anything. We're gonna do great. It's, I know it without pressure, but imagine standing there with Steve Harvey, my opponent, with the buzzer, right? And I just don't know how quick I'm gonna be.
Starting point is 00:28:17 I've never done it before. I don't know if I'm gonna know the fucking answer. There's all these things, so I think that we need to practice today. Oh, let's do a little practice round. Do we have practice round? Yeah. Okay, ready? All right. Here we go. Nate. Okay. Wait, wait, wait. Sorry, Steve. Wait a second. We have the Lee family and the Santino family here.
Starting point is 00:28:33 Okay. Steve? Yeah. Sounds like Steve. Okay. So name a TV show that you both have guests on. Bobby. The League. Okay, Andrew. Wait, then it's just my turn? To see who it goes. Oh, Curb Your Enthusiasm.
Starting point is 00:28:55 All right, Andrew. Yeah? You got, no, what the fuck? Name a TV show that you both have starred on. Oh, same question, same category. Oh. We both have starred on. That's what it's saying.
Starting point is 00:29:12 We have? Five? Not at the same time. I know, but we have? Yeah. Whoa. Whoa. Thank God.
Starting point is 00:29:19 Yeah, thank God this isn't in the thing. Whoa, this is hard. All right, how many seconds does he get? 10? It's yours, your turn. I'm gonna, he just, Yeah, that was you. Go. Oh, this is hard. All right, how many seconds does he get? 10? It's yours, your turn. Yeah, that was you. Go. Oh, it's my turn?
Starting point is 00:29:28 Oh, it's, er. You don't know either. I don't know. So it's back to me? Yeah. We both start in, you never did The Office, right? Fuck.
Starting point is 00:29:40 Yes, I got, yeah, I done. You didn't do The Office, right? No. No. Okay, go. All right, what's that show with Esther and Benji Alfaro? Oh, you can't ask. That's illegal, you can't ask.
Starting point is 00:29:51 Three, two. One together. Together one. Eh. Yeah. Alone Together. Alone Together. I got it. Do you wanna see the answers?
Starting point is 00:29:59 Yes. So we're out? I got it. Yeah, I mean, you're 40 points. You have 40 points. Okay, I got 40. Let's see. Oh my God, this game. We're gonna get fucking trampled. We're fucked, we're fucked. No,. Yeah, I mean you're 40 points you have 40 okay. I got let's see Oh my god this game. We're gonna get fucking trampled. We're fucked. No. It's not gonna be about I thought you're gonna do I thought you're gonna do questions that they would ask on family few we both did family guy. Oh, we did family guy
Starting point is 00:30:16 Yeah, what else? That's the one that was the one I How do we not know that I don't know we don't even know us we're gonna be don't know our yeah I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, Bobby? No, it's him. Thank you. Fucking Steve. Jollibee. OK, Bobby? Fuck, that's that low? Baloot. OK, Bobby. That's what I was going to say, but I thought that's not real.
Starting point is 00:30:58 She actually likes Jollibee the most. I know, I know, I know. All right. I know. Let your mustache kind of drip off. I think it's funny if it's halfway up. Sue, who's next? You, you're up, because you got it higher than me. Pog Pog.
Starting point is 00:31:11 Nope. Okay. It's gotta be something funny at this point. It's gotta be like, poop? No, I got it. What? Taco Bell. We're all wrong.
Starting point is 00:31:27 All right, so what is it? So rotten fish, yeah. I said poop and a bat. Yeah, fuck this. Who made these answers? She did, Rudy did. They were submitted. Are we giving the points to anyone on this round?
Starting point is 00:31:38 I got it. Balloon. Bobby got 35. I got 35. I got 15. Yeah. Name five Taylor Swift. Oh, fuck you, dude, I got 35 I got 15 yeah Cute little girl
Starting point is 00:32:06 I actually don't know any of the names of the song. I don't know. I don't know. I think... I can tell you impossible... I can tell you impossible... Dude, I mean this is crazy. I don't know any of the names of the songs. I've heard them before. Change, change? Is that one? Oh yeah, change, change. How about... I'm sorry, I put something that younger people like.
Starting point is 00:32:24 Well, dude, fuck... Let's move on, dude. How about how about I'm sorry I put something that you know younger people like well dude fuck Let's move on. You're one. No we can't let's move on Okay, let's just give him the cards. Just give him the cards. We'll play the real game. We're gonna play the real game Let's do it, but we're not doing points now anymore. Yeah, I'm way ahead you you won the round of like no Knowing bad friends, but now this goes to general. Good, this is what we need. This is what you need. This is how we prepare.
Starting point is 00:32:49 Yeah. Yeah. All right, here we go. Let's see this. This is the real life questions. Let's do it. All right. Name something you might find in an ambulance. Andrew.
Starting point is 00:32:57 An EMT. Stethoscope. What? So it's me again? Yep. A fucking person? Yeah, on a fucking stretcher? Stretcher.
Starting point is 00:33:11 Okay. A paramedic. I said that, I said EMT. I already said that. That's an EMT, yeah? EMT is a paramedic. Oh, that was a machine. So wait, so I win that, so I get, what do I do now?
Starting point is 00:33:21 You, I mean, I guess that- Now I get to guess my second guess. Yes, nine points you have. Oh my God. And one more answer. Okay, so name something inside, read the question, cause I'm the next guest. Name something you might find in an ambulance.
Starting point is 00:33:39 Heart monitors, those fucking jumper cables. No. A driver. monitors those fucking jumper cables no a driver so it is oxygen where the fuck is this from yes Harvey's this is Harvey's in Bangladesh yeah it's a family get you family few Bangladesh family feud man this is all right does not sound like one next one, next one. Oxygen is everywhere. I know. What kind of shitty game is this?
Starting point is 00:34:12 I know. Name a professional who blows a whistle. Referee. Andrew. Number 2 answer. Want to try Bobby? Yeah, lifeguard? Number two answer. Yeah. Wanna try Bobby? Yeah, lifeguard. Number three answer.
Starting point is 00:34:27 So it's still me. Okay. And I get those points. Okay. That's how the game works, you know that right? On the show. Yeah, yeah, yeah, fine. A dog trainer.
Starting point is 00:34:39 That's a great fucking guess. Yep. Good answer, that's where you go, good answer, good answer. Good answer, good answer. All right, you're up. That was funny, that was great. You just have to play the game. Yeah. Good answer, that's where you go. Good answer, good answer. Good answer, good answer. All right, you're up. That was funny, that was great. You just have to play the game. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:48 Too much pressure. Oh, I know. Victim. Great, great answer. That's not out there. They use whistles though. Yeah, I know. Okay.
Starting point is 00:35:00 Yeah. If I said that on Family Feud, would that get in trouble? I don't think we should say Just a wild guess all right Can't even say it on the an art show an assault victim that sounds better. Okay, someone being assaulted. Yeah, that's not on it No, it's still wrong Okay Perfect. Read the question one more time, please name a professional who blows a whistle The head question one more time please name a professional who blows a whistle the head the head drag queen at the yeah on the floats no I know a high school coach I a coach doesn't have
Starting point is 00:35:41 a fucking what you're saying during practice yeah Yeah. Yeah, that's for all right It's on there dude. It's bad. Okay, so the first answer is a police or a traffic cop. That's good Police don't ever have whistles never heard of that before maybe in New York Cops don't have whistles maybe a traffic cop. Yeah, but did they even exist anymore? Yeah anyway move on That's it. That's it. Okay, so we just got some we did. Okay. Okay. Let's really focus Let's go. Let's go. No matter how hard it tries name an animal a snake could never swallow a bear Elephant You gotta keep going yeah giraffe
Starting point is 00:36:26 Lion Yeah, sorry. That was too much. You got to keep going. Yeah, giraffe. Lion. Hippopotamus. Number five answer. A alligator. A horse. Number two answer. So we got them all. I got one and two.
Starting point is 00:36:41 Yeah, well you guys have four. We are missing one. We're missing one. So you're up again. I got one and two. Yeah, well you guys have four. We are missing one. Oh, we're missing one. Oh, so you're up again. Oh shit. A dog? No, they can eat a dog. They can eat a dog.
Starting point is 00:36:53 A chihuahua maybe. Of course. Yeah, your dog, your cats too could get fucking. A cow was the fifth answer. All right, so we got two of them. We got four. We got four. Together we got four out of five.
Starting point is 00:37:03 That's good. All right. You know what, I'll just say this is helping me.. No it is. Yeah, because now I go maybe I can't answer some Yeah, yeah, all right. Name something made of feathers A headdress A hat well that that that would work that would have A coat I guess so. What is it? Feather duster.
Starting point is 00:37:27 Yeah, that's it. Yeah. Number two answer. I got one. Bird. He's not made of feather? I couldn't agree with that more. He's definitely made of feathers.
Starting point is 00:37:35 That's where it comes from. That's a great answer, Bobby. Oh, that's Steve Harvey. That was Steve Harvey. Very good, very good. So bad, dude. Yeah. Made of feathers?
Starting point is 00:37:44 A rug? I got it. Pillow. Ding ding ding, number one. Yeah made of feathers. Um a rug I Got it pillow Yeah, do they cover do they? blanket You know, I'm very happy you're on my team you and I are gonna do it we do do well we're gonna do well Here we go. Another name that kids use for father Daddy We're gonna do well. We're gonna do well. Here we go. Another name that kids use for father Daddy or dad and one. Yeah dad daddy dad and dad Papa
Starting point is 00:38:17 Pa Good totally different Neither were Steve Harvey ever you said Paul. He said yeah's totally different. No. You're the worst Steve Harvey ever. You said Paw, he said, yeah, Pops. Two different words. Not even spelled close. I said Pop. No, you said Paw.
Starting point is 00:38:30 No, I said Paw. You said Paw. I saw it, we can rewind the tape. No, I'm on your team. I said Paw. I know what you said, you said Paw. I watched you do it. You went Paw.
Starting point is 00:38:38 There was no P at the end. All right, you're right. I know I'm right. You're right, you're right, you're right. I cheat a lot. I'm a cheater. Well, this game is on TV. They're gonna know. Well, I'm gonna do that in front of you. You have to. Yeah, yeah. You're right, you're right, you're right. I cheat a lot. I'm a cheater. Well this game is on TV. They're gonna know.
Starting point is 00:38:45 Well I'm gonna do that in front of Steve. You have to. Yeah, yeah. And I'll defend you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He said it. That's what he said. Then you say, you know what you say after that?
Starting point is 00:38:53 Steve, he's straight from Korea. Yeah, what do you want? We just got him. P's are hard for them. Yeah, pa pa pa pa. All right, let's hear it. What's the next one? Okay, name something that ends with the word code.
Starting point is 00:39:06 Security. Yes. Number four answer. Pass. Pass code isn't on there? Yeah. Jesus. Go ahead, you're up. Guy code.
Starting point is 00:39:20 These are all legitimately good answers. Yeah, they're all great answers. This is the problem with the show sometimes, you'll have good answers and it won't be on there Bro code I know that's not I know I hate code Code in code and code what is it area code fuck? Oh fuck zip code Jesus Christ Morse code Jesus Oh my god. We lost barcode. Let me tell you something. We lost we're gonna get cooked Just as long as the code things out there. Yeah, yeah Oh my god, we lost! Bar code. Let me tell you something. We lost, we lost. We're gonna get cooked on Saturday.
Starting point is 00:39:45 Just as long as the code thing's not there. Yeah. Yeah, forget the code. Man, I hope they don't. Because when they said it, I'm like, why? Yeah, of course. It's hard. How do you train your mind to know these things?
Starting point is 00:39:54 Well, we have to try it again. Let's go, let's get that action. Let's train our minds to get there. We gotta get there. Kids can't wait for Christmas. Wait, say it again? Kids can't wait for Christmas. You do know Steve will be hard to understand as well.
Starting point is 00:40:04 Yeah, yeah, kids can't wait for Christmas. You do know Steve will be hard to understand as well. Yeah, yeah, kids can't wait for Christmas. He's doing this because Steve is hard to understand. And I mean that. I watch the show every night. You know this, right? Every night I watch the show. I watch this, then America says.
Starting point is 00:40:13 Kids can't- I can't understand some of what he says. Sometimes he just- Wait, so kids, what's it is? Kids can't- Can wait for Christmas. What kind of- Oh, that's not it?
Starting point is 00:40:21 No, you have to- Now you have to guess. Presents. Presents. What kind of dolls wait for? What? it? No, you have to... No, you have to... No, you have to... No, you have to guess. Presents. What kind of dolls wait for? What? It's my turn.
Starting point is 00:40:29 You already guessed. Oh, yeah. What can't adults wait for? Yeah. Saturday. The weekend. I got it. What?
Starting point is 00:40:38 I got it. The weekend's not on. I got it, I got it, I got it. Friday. No, it's obviously not a day. If I, yeah, no. People wait when they're worried I just said you said weekend. Yeah the weekend people can't wait for the weekend. Okay, something similar, but bigger. Oh, yeah
Starting point is 00:40:52 People can't wait for summer adults can't wait for the summer I mean I read your mind and say yes vacation he knew that you were gonna say what? Vacation you got it. Okay, vacation. What else can wait? What can adults not wait for? Adults can't wait for what? I know, I got it.
Starting point is 00:41:12 The kids to move out of the house. Yeah. No? How is that not on there? That sex cruise they've been wanting to take. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. No. No, go ahead, ding, ding, ding, ding. No. No, go ahead Bob.
Starting point is 00:41:26 So number one is paycheck, and then school to start, which you guys can- That's kind of what he said. He's kind of. Bobby said when they get out of the fucking house. And bedtime, which is also kind of the same. And the day after Christmas. God, I hate these questions.
Starting point is 00:41:39 I hope these are not- Oh my God, we're fucked. But if they are, how great- One more, one more, let's go. Come on. Okay, name something people buy by the roll toilet paper paper towels
Starting point is 00:41:52 quarters Roll of quarters leave family bread Yeah, by the roll roll of bread I'm gonna do that. You're dude. You know I'm gonna fight for you honestly dude. Yeah, what you roll, roll of bread. I'm gonna do that on the show. Dude. You know I'm gonna fight for you. Honestly, dude? Yeah. What you just did there, dude, forever makes us
Starting point is 00:42:10 compadres for life, dude. My best friend. Dude, you're a liar like me. Hey Steve, for the roll, roll of bread. Tell me it's not a roll of bread. You've never do a Jewish deli? It's a roll of bread, bud. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:20 Swiss roll, Swiss miss rolls. What do you buy in rolls? Carpet. Carpet? No. Film? Rugs. Oh, film. What do you buy in rolls? Carpet. Carpet? No. Film? Rugs. Oh, film.
Starting point is 00:42:27 That's three. A five? Yep, yep. That was the number three answer. How about, wow. Wow. Should we cancel? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:37 We should cancel. So tape and stamps. No, okay, tape, yes, but stamps can fuck off. Stamps can fuck with nothing. That's not right, Steve. I've never bought, who buys stamps? I don't buy stamps. Right. I haven't ma can fuck off. That's not right, Steve. Who buys stamps? I don't buy stamps. I haven't mailed anything ever.
Starting point is 00:42:47 All right, let's go. Next, the last one of that, and then we'll do the vector. By the way, you buy, hold on, you buy stamps in sheets now. They are sheets of stamps. Yeah. So fuck off. Go to the next one, guys, I heard the question.
Starting point is 00:42:59 Here we go. Give me another one. Name a pizza topping that some people think is yucky. Go ahead. Pineapple. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Number three. Number three answer.
Starting point is 00:43:10 Olives, black olives. My turn? Anchovies. Number one answer. Okay, two. Two. Oh, it's my turn? Yeah. Green pepper.
Starting point is 00:43:20 It's delicious. Fuck, bacon? I got it. Jalapeno. I know, I like all these by the way. Me too. I know what it is. How about-
Starting point is 00:43:36 I think I know what it is. How about... Okay, go ahead. Me? Yeah. Mushroom. Yes, two points. Two points. So now we have mushroom, anchck, tick, tock, tick. Okay, go ahead. Me? Yeah. Mushroom. Yes, two points. Two points.
Starting point is 00:43:46 So now we have mushroom, anchovy, and pineapple. And then the other two are ham and sardines. I've never seen a sardine on a pizza! Because people find it yucky. In New Hampshire, where? Do one more because I'm mad. Yeah, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad. Let's do one more.
Starting point is 00:44:00 Come on, one more. I'm mad too. We have to. Tell me something people think needs saving money People need people need saving Yes Soul saving people but that's the same thing. So he I get that that's gonna be on no that we said people I don't think they're gonna go at soul's soul. Yeah, but because it's so-
Starting point is 00:44:25 My turn. It's worded so bad. Animals. Yes. Okay, we have three. One more. That's only out of four? Yep.
Starting point is 00:44:32 I know. What? Go ahead. Oh, it's my turn anyway. Environment. The world. Yeah, the world. Yes.
Starting point is 00:44:39 Okay, we would- Okay, okay, okay. Here's the other problem. What's the problem? We have three other people with us besides you and me. Oh no. Yeah, we're gonna have to sneak them answers. No, I think Esther knows.
Starting point is 00:44:51 I don't know. I really, I don't- You gonna call her now? I have to call her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cause let's see, let's- I'm gonna call Jean. I'm gonna call Jean.
Starting point is 00:44:59 Hold on, let me call- Let me give you a couple of questions and you ask them and see if- No, the ones that we've already done. Hi. Hi, how are you? Good. Hey, listen, I have you on Bad Friends. It's not bad. I just want to... We're playing Family Feud. We're prepping. Bobby and I are prepping for this weekend.
Starting point is 00:45:18 Oh, okay. Well, are you available to do it Saturday? Because you're... You're on the team. Yeah, I know. Okay, because you're healthy enough Hey honestly, and we're happy for you, but don't bring the fucking bad. Don't bring the fucking baby. Okay, don't ever see that Don't even say that say it's say it plopped out or yeah fell out. Okay. Have you been training? Have you been training?
Starting point is 00:45:43 Dave explained the show to me last night and he was very upset that I... Oh, God. Oh, God. Make it be quiet. Um, yeah, I definitely think Dave and I decided last night I should be last for whatever. Like, I should be the last one to go.
Starting point is 00:45:59 You're not. Gene Hong's last. Gene Hong's gonna be last. But Gene is smarter than everybody. That's why we need a good anchor. Yeah Gene Hong's gonna be last. But Gene is smarter than everybody. That's why we need a good anchor. Yeah, he's a good anchor. We want you, you're kinda like the coal car, right?
Starting point is 00:46:10 You know what I mean? You're, yeah, we get a little bit of coal from you. All right, hey, we need to prep you real fast. Okay, are you ready? Yeah. Yeah, you gotta get these, we asked 100 people, top five answers on the board. Name a pizza topping that some people think is yucky.
Starting point is 00:46:30 Asta. Oh my gosh. Asta, come on. OK. Pineapple. Bing. OK. What else?
Starting point is 00:46:38 Keep going. Oh. Pizza. I don't like sausage, but no, people like that. Your internal dialogue, don't say it out loud. Yeah, don't say it out loud on the show. When we do the show, you can't do that. Okay, and show these.
Starting point is 00:46:53 Bing! Okay, two answers, come on, baby. Three more. Onion? No. No. One more wrong answer, and then that's it. Oh. Don't lose us the game,. Don't lose us the game.
Starting point is 00:47:06 Please don't lose us the game. Canadian bacon. Ham, ham, ham. We'll take ham. That's it, that's it. That would be on it. Okay, that's three. And we didn't even guess that.
Starting point is 00:47:14 That's great. Because she thinks differently. Yeah. I think she's like a little person. She is. She's an L3. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Little people think differently.
Starting point is 00:47:22 Two more, Esther. Come on, baby. You got this. Oh, two more of that category? Oh, yeah, baby. She's not going to get it. Oh people think differently. Two more Esther. Come on, baby. You got this. Oh, two more of that category. Oh yeah, baby. She's not going to get on my. Oh my God. Pieces of toppings that people don't like. My mom's nodding to me that it's so easy. Yeah. Well then what does she say? Mom, what's a pizza topping people don't like? This is a family theater.. Mushroom. Yes. Okay, one more, one more, one more. She's never gonna, that last one is bullshit.
Starting point is 00:47:47 Can your mom- Carlos just texted me and Joey's, but I said that already, Carlos. Okay, think this, there's a- Carlos, what are you doing? Oh my God, what? Now Bobby's pissed off. I don't know, I'm scared, what did I do?
Starting point is 00:48:00 Can your mom come play? I'll be your phone, dude. She's gonna be in the audience. All right, I didn't see your text not to say it. I'm sorry. Alright, we love you. I can't wait to see you this weekend. Bring the baby. I'll carry it out on camera. It has to stay home for Dave to breastfeed.
Starting point is 00:48:17 Okay, love you guys. Bye. Which racist did Bobby's dad respect the least? Well, I mean, yeah. Go ahead. Vietnamese. You don't know my dad, then? Did Bobby's dad respect the list? Well, I mean, yeah, go ahead Vietnamese You don't know my dad that yeah, this is you absolutely a move we ask a hundred people they asked a hundred people Chinese Fuck you guys fuck you dude black people Okay, I knew where they were doing I know what you're doing okay African-American Japanese obviously oh, I know I know one
Starting point is 00:48:49 I know one then I know based on my jokes. Yeah snake So we just wrote your jokes We're just reading off one of your jokes. Yeah, I understand of joke ones like this all right go ahead cockroach Okay, I understand of joke ones like this. All right, go ahead. Cockroach. Oh, okay. I don't know, because this is fucking- Yeah, that's one. Get a real one that you did. Do you wanna know the other answers?
Starting point is 00:49:11 No, I don't even wanna know. It's gonna make me mad. Monkey. Monkey. White. White. Mexican. Go back to the deck, dude.
Starting point is 00:49:18 Go back to the deck, dude. Name a notable alumni from Poway High School. Bobby. Go School. Bobby? Go ahead. Bobby Lee. Charlie Hoffman. Ding ding ding ding ding. That's number four.
Starting point is 00:49:30 Wow. Darshan Yuppe Haida. Ding ding ding ding ding. That's number one. Tom DeLong. Ding ding ding ding ding. That's number two. Drew Walrus.
Starting point is 00:49:38 Ding ding ding ding ding ding. That's number one. Tom DeLong. Ding ding ding ding ding ding. That's number two. Drew Walrus. That's number one. Tom DeLong. Ding ding ding ding ding ding. That's number two. Drew Walrus. That's number three.
Starting point is 00:49:51 Tyler Nevin. That's number five. Anisha Nicole. That's number six. Andrew Webb. Yes. This is according to their official website. Wow. Yeah, wow.
Starting point is 00:50:07 I can't believe I won. Wow, wow. And by the way, love Tyler Nevin stuff. He's great. Do you even know who that is? No, I don't know who that is. Tyler Nevin is a baseball player. Alicia, Anisha Nicole is an R&B and hip hop singer.
Starting point is 00:50:22 Did they really go there? Yeah. The hell went there. Yeah, Charlie Hoffman, by the way, I know very well, PGA Tour professional. Drew Walrus is a linebacker for the St. Louis Rams, Tom DeLong Blink 182, and Darshan- Is Tom on this now? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:35 No, he made it to the- I mean, this is just Wikipedia. Oh, but he didn't make it to the actual, none of these other guys are on the alum. This is on the Wikipedia page. Oh, okay. I'm on it too, no? And Darshan- Okay, thank youhan Upadhyaya is a League of Legends
Starting point is 00:50:48 professional player. Wow. Darshan Upadhyaya. Can we just do one more from the box and then we'll go, one more from the box and we'll just do something else. Yeah, that's fine. All right, ready?
Starting point is 00:50:57 What's the most important quality an employee could have? Andrew. Being punctual, being on time. Number one. Working hard. That's not a requirement. Okay. I got honest. Ding ding ding ding ding.
Starting point is 00:51:10 Number two. Okay. We got one and two. Friendly. Okay. Polite. Polite. Yeah, that's good.
Starting point is 00:51:18 That's a requirement. See, that's interesting. I would disagree, but I get it. Okay. Go ahead. Works well with others. Okay, polite. Yeah, that's good. That's a requirement. See, that's interesting. I would disagree, but I get it. Okay. Go ahead. Oh.
Starting point is 00:51:27 Works well with others? It's kind of polite, right? Yeah, you're right. That's the problem, though. But that's the problem, because it's so vague. It's so vague. Read the question again, because we have three. What's the most important quality an employee could have?
Starting point is 00:51:40 See, it's most important. I know one. What? Experience. Punctuality, politeness. Would you have hired any? No, no one in this office. None of these guys. Yeah, embody that.
Starting point is 00:51:49 Hey Steve, none of these guys would make it. Yeah. Read it one more time. Go, and then I'll get it. What's the most important quality an employee could have? Respect. Loyalty. Yeah, loyalty, respect.
Starting point is 00:51:57 And that's it. Dependability. Dependability. Dependability. Dependability. Dependability. Dependability. Dependability. Dependability. Dependability. Dependability. Dependability. and then I'll get it. What's the most important quality an employee could have? Respect.
Starting point is 00:52:06 Loyalty. Yeah, loyalty, respect. And that's it. Dependability. Dependability, wow. Okay, one more. We do need to do one more. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:13 I need to feel it. Yeah, me too. Name an occupation Sylvester Stallone would be perfect for if he wasn't an actor. Boxer. Number two. What's number one? What are you police officer? Okay, the security guard. Yeah. Yeah, we'll take that. Yeah, what number is that? That's three
Starting point is 00:52:32 Okay, so Vicer Salon if he wasn't um It's my turn again. I got above you my number was above you right? I was Okay, yeah, cuz I was to write you right you're right um In the fucking military? Bouncer. Good, good, good, good, good. Yeah. What else, come on.
Starting point is 00:52:52 Oh shit. This is the problem, once you get it, you gotta come up with other ones. Yeah. Oh, that's the problem. That's the hard thing, because then you have to think while other people are guessing.
Starting point is 00:53:00 A wrestler. Good guess. Thank you. Football player? It says bodybuilder and fitness trainer. Those are the same... Steve, bodybuilder, fitness trainer are too close to each other. Every bodybuilder is probably a fitness trainer at one point in their life.
Starting point is 00:53:19 Could be, could be. But the board doesn't lie. It's like the sun is a star, the moon is a star. This is going to be tough. Yeah, we're going to get fucking cooked. No, but it's not that we're going to get cooked. It's just anyone sun is a star, the moon is a star. This is gonna be tough. Yeah, we're gonna get fucking cooked. No, but it's not that we're gonna get cooked, it's just anyone would get cooked. Yeah, who are we going up against, by the way?
Starting point is 00:53:30 I hope, like, it's like... We don't even know? You know what show? Love on the Spectrum. I would love to go get some. Really? They would destroy us. I think they would, yeah!
Starting point is 00:53:40 They would destroy us. Well, it's not math. Kids with autism would fucking murder us. What's 436 divided by 7? You know what I mean? Then they would, yeah! They would destroy us. Well, it's not math. Kids with autism would fucking murder us. What's 436 divided by 7? You know what I mean? Then they would do... 47. Yeah, they would kill us.
Starting point is 00:53:51 Anybody from Love on the Spectrum would murder us. You're right. Yeah, you're right. They have... Fuck. Okay, last one. With this one, we close the show. Name a musical instrument you really can't stand to listen to.
Starting point is 00:54:03 Andrew. I know. Oh, drums. Drums. See, this is the problem. musical instrument you really can't stand to listen to? Andrew. I know. Oh, drums. Violin. Drums. See, this is the problem, hold on, this is the problem with these questions,
Starting point is 00:54:10 and this does this on the show sometimes. Can't stand to listen to. Drums are fucking great. This is my issue. The question should be phrased, name a musical instrument if your neighbor was playing in the middle of the night would make you mad. Yeah, move on to the next question. Just one more.
Starting point is 00:54:26 Am I right though? The question's phrased wrong. Next card, next card. One more card. Let's go, let's go. Next card. Name something you pour on top of food. Chocolate. I got it. Pour? Gravy. Gravy, that's good.
Starting point is 00:54:43 Salt? You pour. You don't pour salt. Sure you do. I got it. Dressing. Yeah. How the fuck is that not on there?
Starting point is 00:54:53 Because it's more specific than that. That's too generic. Italian dressing. You fucking... Ranch. Ketchup. Ding ding ding ding number two answer. Ranch.
Starting point is 00:55:03 Mustard. Mayonnaise. You guys ran out of options. Toetchup. Yes. Dining number two answer. Ranch. Mustard. Aang. Aang. Mayonnaise. Aang. You guys run out of uptakes. Toothpaste. Aang. Syrup. Cheese. Hot sauce.
Starting point is 00:55:10 By the way, you pour dressing, it's cheese? What kind of fat fuck, you're not pouring a lot of cheese? Cheese? Yeah. How often are you pouring cheese ever? Oh, everyone eats queso? Yeah, no. And they're not pouring it all over their steak.
Starting point is 00:55:26 Oh, is he gonna eat queso? It's bullshit. Let's move on. I don't know. Fuck, fuck, we'll lose. We'll lose. It's fine. It doesn't even matter.
Starting point is 00:55:34 You know what? We're gonna lose and that's fine. It has nothing to do with your brain. SeatGeek. I'm so excited to see Taylor. You want to go see Taylor Swift? Well, guess what? Today's episode is sponsored by SeatGeek.
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Starting point is 00:56:48 And you know we came through for you guys. Use our code BADFRIENDS for $20 off tickets at SeatGeek. That's $20 off your first purchase with promo code BADFRIENDS. Make sure you click the link in the description to download the app. Last night you told me, a couple days ago you said to watch Dream Scenario on HBO. And any Bad Friends fans, dude, you gotta watch this movie. It's incredible. It's incredible. But I was thinking about his career,
Starting point is 00:57:14 and I'm just so like- Look what he's done. I know. Lord of War. But what he did was, he disappeared from it, because he did a movie called, that Christian movie that it was the one the worst movies ever made
Starting point is 00:57:26 What was it called it was called? Yeah, it's a pilot. It's one of the worst movies ever made What is left alone left alone? He didn't move go left alone. It left alone God, I'm gonna show you left alone on the um he can look it up up there Yeah, what did he get on Rotten Tomatoes? What it just what a career is that he's incredible? But he had that let so he had that time. He wanted always to be a movie star, like an action hero, and he won an Oscar in order to become an action hero, which is kind of insane. Can't do that these days.
Starting point is 00:57:54 But there was a gap through a decade where he was doing small movies, independent movies. I think Mandy is what kind of turned people's heads like, hmm, interesting. Yeah. God, he must be doing like, at that back then, he must be doing three films a year. Even now. We're a Valley girl, oh my God. Look at the amount of work he's done, this guy.
Starting point is 00:58:14 How could you do that much? He loves it so much, he goes from set to set, yeah. No, I mean, I get it. If you have the opportunity, I understand it, but also, how overwhelming. Yeah. Where is life? That's what gets overwhelming. Yeah. Where is life? That's what gets scary to me.
Starting point is 00:58:26 Where is life? When you're so inundated with so much work. I think about that with my buddy, our pal. Oh, by the way, Moonstruck. What a good movie. Great movie, dude. Oh my God. Oh, it could happen to you.
Starting point is 00:58:38 It could happen to you was great. Adaptation was phenomenal. You can name so many of these movies. Raising Arizona is still my favorite. And by the way, don't get me started on, go down a little bit. Don't get me started on Ant Bully. I mean.
Starting point is 00:58:50 What is that? I don't know. Dude, this guy's been in so many movies. He's in so many movies that some of them sound like they made them up and put them in there to see if you'd notice. Yeah. Like, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:59:03 Creek or Lake or something. Yeah, Creek or Lake. Like, I don't know. Creeker Lake or something. Yeah, Creeker Lake. This goes out there to everybody. This is not just reference to the film industry. I'm talking about some of our fans out there, and I mean this, I'm gonna say this to you, because I had a conversation with a friend of ours, a friend of our family, I can't say who, they're private,
Starting point is 00:59:23 but they were saying how they're feeling like they might be burning out a little bit, just like overworking. And they're not a comedian, they just work in our industry. And I was like, oh, you really have to take time because it's dangerous when you let yourself be a part of something and you don't get to do you a little bit.
Starting point is 00:59:42 And she was like, ha ha, you know, trying my best but I'm dragging myself around, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, I'm actually being serious. I'm like being genuine because I've learned if I don't do that, I get emotionally dark, deep down. Like I've taken this whole week of doing standup off. Now that we're back, I feel great.
Starting point is 01:00:01 You seem great. I get to walk to coffee in the morning with the dog. I get an extra couple hours at home, it just feels nice to be able to exercise, do the pod, take a break mentally, go to a nice dinner. I mean that for our fans too. You gotta do things for you sometimes that are- Yeah, I called you the other day,
Starting point is 01:00:16 you were taking a walk with your wife. Yeah, just nice, just get the fuck out of your- Nice. Because sometimes if all you're doing is working, like our fans too, some people are just working, working, working, working, working. If you don't take any time for you, I'm telling you, it's so bad for your brain.
Starting point is 01:00:29 Were you just kidding the other day when you go, I wasn't gonna do Family Feud or no? I mean, I think it was yesterday, you go, you know what, bud, I'm not gonna do it. Yeah, I wanted to see your reaction. Why, because if I gave you an out, you would've gotten an out? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:43 No, no, no, if you weren't excited for me to be there, I wouldn't have felt- Guy, guy, guy, I'm doing it for us. Okay. I'm doing it for our family. But here's the thing. I called you to check you to see, I wonder if he really wants me to do it.
Starting point is 01:01:01 And I said, because it's the Lee family, and I'm not a Lee. I love a Lee. I love a Lee. There is a Lee that I love. You're a close to me, like you are like a family member. You're like, you feel like a family member. You're a brother to me. Well then, what were you talking about?
Starting point is 01:01:16 It was an ego thing. You know what I mean? I just wanted you to. These are like third cousins. Cousins? Yeah, third, yeah, like I don't know them. McCone is like a guy, McCone to me, in my family network world, is like an Amazon guy.
Starting point is 01:01:30 You know the guy that drops off, it's like it changes every week, I don't even know who he really is. You're like on ancestry.com, like you're related to McCone. I'm like- How? I would just kind of read it and just kind of move on. I would ask them to change it. I go, can you take that off?
Starting point is 01:01:45 Yeah. And fancy to me, family wise, is like somebody that married into my family, but like we put up with him. Like he comes to the family dinners. Hey, do you want to play a popular game we do in Spain? And we're like, fuck, you're gonna make us do like the dice game thing or something.
Starting point is 01:01:58 Yeah. Your girlfriend's sister's new boyfriend is who you are. Oh my God. Yeah. Hey, I'm Charlie. Yeah, oh, Charlie, that's you. Yeah. Charlie, you're not funny.
Starting point is 01:02:09 Can I show you pictures on my phone of stuff that I like? No, get the fuck out of here, Charlie. And who's Carlos? Oh, Carlos is, I know what, dude, you're Cato Kaelan. Doesn't Carlos have a Cato Kaelan vibe? Dude, he is 100, you're 100% Cato Cailin. You're Cato Cailin, dude. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:29 Randomly lives in a guest house somewhere. Yeah, you just live in somebody else's guest house. Right. By the way, Cato, great, great head of lettuce. Look at that guy's hair. Yeah. Speaking of which, what were we thinking putting fancy in a bald cap? We have a bald guy.
Starting point is 01:02:43 What were we doing? We bought a bald cap? I mean, this is just mismanagement all the way around. Delegation is just bad here. Kato's got a great head of lettuce. He used to come around and do standup, right? Yeah, he used to see him at the comedy store a lot. He used to, you know what he used to do a lot?
Starting point is 01:02:57 I'd see him at Jay Davis' shows. Yeah. What was the name of that show on Melrose? He had that big room on Melrose. A parlor. Parlor. Yeah, the parlor. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:07 He used to come around there. That room used to shake, man. That was a fun room. There were some fun rooms, some of those rooms back in the day. Yeah, beautiful people. Alternative rooms. You never did Dublin's, right?
Starting point is 01:03:15 No, I think it was before my time. Because Dublin's was probably like in early aughts, like 03 to 04, 05, right? Yeah, the greatest night. I didn't get out to it. It was the greatest night of comedy. You guys don't know about that either Let's see this video. What is this?
Starting point is 01:03:34 Guinness World Records for this is their oldest man. Oh the oldest Brit. No, it's the world's oldest man. All right 11 years 222 days old. You are the oldest man. You either live long or you live short. And you can't do much about it. I am 111 years old. It's like his tongue doesn't work anymore.
Starting point is 01:03:58 I can remember my first day at school. Pause it. So here's why I think we wanted to play this video. Steve on Saturday will be also hard to understand. So we're trying to see if you could say, if you heard everything he said, it's gonna be easy. Steve's sometimes tough to understand. Yeah. Sometimes Steve, he runs through the questions real fast.
Starting point is 01:04:19 Yeah. So this, did you understand everything he said? No. Yeah, right, I know. But I was more interested in like, I guess when you get old, parts of your body die first. Your tongue, his tongue's been gone for quite a while. Yeah, so, yeah, that died probably 12 years ago.
Starting point is 01:04:35 12, he's 111. That died when he was like 85. 85, yeah. Would you ever want to live to be 111 years old? But he seems cognitive. More so than Joe Biden. And clear. I mean, seriously. More so than Joe Biden. And clear. I mean, seriously.
Starting point is 01:04:46 So he can still probably use an Oculus. You think he jerks off with the Apple Pro? But imagine what he's seen. I like, okay, 111, what year was he born? 100 years would be 1924, right? Minus 11. Oh. Thanks, Andrew. You got it. Thank you. I mean I mean that's embarrassing I don't have my abacus
Starting point is 01:05:08 Do you even want to be a hundred and eleven? What so he was born in 1910? so in 19 well What it's two thousand and twenty four nine hundred years was 1924 minus eleven was twenty four minus eleven So 19 to that he was born in 1914. Do 1913. 1913. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:30 He was born in 1913, right? Before cars, right? Wikipedia 1913. Planes, when did planes happen? Before planes. No, no, no. Yes, this is before- Commercial flights.
Starting point is 01:05:44 Commercial flights, yes, of course. In 1913, go and zoom in. This is the first Balkan War. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. Hold on, hold on, slow down. New York City's Grand Central Terminal was just rebuilt as the world's largest railroad station. The 16th Amendment to the United States Constitution was ratified, authorizing the federal government to impose and collect income taxes. Fuck me! What a shit year. That's when they decided to start stealing our money again?
Starting point is 01:06:10 Wait, so he's in high school during the Depression probably. 1929 to 1939. No, yeah, maybe just about. No, he's in middle school. Middle school. Yeah. Yeah, he can't eat lollipops. Zoom into this.
Starting point is 01:06:21 He is born, go down, let's see what else is going on during then. Hold on. Woman's suffrage procession takes place in DC. Oh, these chicks are looking to vote. Woodrow Wilson was president when this guy. Insane. The Mexican Revolution Pancho Villa. Oh my God. Wow. Folklore. Terrible year. Yeah. Scoot down. This is the year- Zorro was probably around still. Still. I think Godzilla was still around. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:48 You know what the single was? What? Patty cake. Patty cake, patty cake. I don't know the word- Baker's man. Yeah, yeah. Bake me a cake as fast as you can.
Starting point is 01:06:58 What else? By the way, a little demanding for a child, don't you think? Bake me a cake as fast as you can? Yeah. Wait, let's do the rest. Patty cake, patty cake, Baker's man. Bake me a cake as fast as you can. Yeah. Wait, let's do the rest. Patty cake, patty cake, baker's man. Bake me a cake as fast as you can. What?
Starting point is 01:07:09 Roll it, toss it, put it up my ass? Throw me in the oven and bake me fast? Is that what it is? Oh, there's actually lyrics. Patty cake, patty cake, baker's man. Bake me a cake as fast as you can. Pat it and prick it and mark it with a B. Put in the oven for baby and me.
Starting point is 01:07:24 For baby and me, for baby and me. For baby and me, for baby and me. It's cum. Is that what it is? Yeah, this is the song about cum. Pat-a-cake is about sex, isn't it? Yes. Wow.
Starting point is 01:07:34 What's the B on there? For fancy B? So this guy lived through before, he saw it all. Well, I don't know if he did. I mean, who knows if he was paying attention. England in 1913. Uh-oh. Well, I don't know if he did. I mean, who knows if he was paying attention. England in 1913. Uh-oh. Dude, look at it.
Starting point is 01:07:49 Back then, we barely had beans on touch. That's them in the water with full clothes on. That's like a... By the way, that's like a... There was no bathing suits back then. That's like a Los Angeles beach today. Yeah. Wow, look at that.
Starting point is 01:08:01 Incredible. I saw it the good times. You ever go see... Mexicans at the beach in LA, they're that. Incredible. I saw the good times. You ever go see, if I, Mexicans at the beach in LA, they're in full clothes. Mexicans will wear sneakers into the water. They will. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:08:12 What? Look, just look at that. Yeah, it looks like another world. It's incredible. What a life. 1913. Yeah. There's little British kids there,
Starting point is 01:08:21 there's poop in the streets. Yeah. What would you say as a great-great-grandson to him? I'd be like, just, you can go. You gotta go already. Peppo, you gotta go. Yeah, because I can, so I can get the money. I can.
Starting point is 01:08:32 Can you, does he, that's the thing, if you live that long, there's no way you have money anymore. He doesn't have fucking money. No one. He retired, what, 60 years before that. Nobody plans, no one's retirement plan includes 111. Yeah. You're done.
Starting point is 01:08:49 You're done. Your money's run, his money probably ran out by the time he was like 88 or 90. And then he was like, no. Yeah, at 85 he was like, should I work again? You gotta get another job? Yeah. That always breaks my heart.
Starting point is 01:09:01 When I see like an old person working somewhere, I'm like, when they're really old, I'm always like, what is going on? Yeah, well, oh. Like that breaks my fucking heart. It breaks my heart when I see like an old person working somewhere. I'm like when they're really old I'm always like what is going on? Like that breaks my fucking heart it breaks my heart like whenever I see I donated a bunch of stuff to goodwill And that's probably volunteer work, but the woman out back was so old and she was like you want any help And I was like no you can't carry all this shit What is that? senior citizens who are employed
Starting point is 01:09:26 Wow, California has the most. Who's surprised? How many? Four million? Yeah, you know why? This place is a fucking rip off. You have to work. This place sucks. Let's get the fuck out of here. Would you, would you, would we move the show? Could we move the show if we wanted to move somewhere?
Starting point is 01:09:42 Yeah, where? Atlanta? Europe. where? Atlanta. Europe. Both bad answers. Nowhere. Vegas? You want to go to Nevada? Save money on taxes?
Starting point is 01:09:51 Because if you go to Vegas... Fuck California, man. ...then people will get... There's people out there. We can get Carrot Top, all kinds of people. That's one. Right? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:09:59 Who else? Regan? Two. We can get Regan. We can get Nicolas Cage. Three. The magician. Shin Lim. we can get Nicolas Cage. Three. The magician, friend of yours. Shin Lim.
Starting point is 01:10:07 Piff? Oh, Shin Lim. Yeah, yeah. He lives here, doesn't he? No, Penn and Teller. They don't live there, they live- Paulie. Paulie lives here now. Yeah, Penn and Teller live there.
Starting point is 01:10:15 We're all wrong. It doesn't matter. We can also fly people in if they're- Britney. Right? Yeah. It's Vegas, we can fly people in. It's cheap from LA.
Starting point is 01:10:24 Okay. And number two, they're just so, let's do it. Let's go, We can fly people in. It's cheap from LA. Okay. And number two, they're just so, let's do it. Let's go. Let's get out of here. All right. Okay. You guys are all willing to move? Are we invited?
Starting point is 01:10:33 You work for the company, yes. Well, you signed a blood contract. Yeah. Well, hopefully we do well on Family Feud. And I hope you guys watch. We'll let you know when it comes out. And thank you for being a bad friend. Being a bad friend
Starting point is 01:10:52 We get a transition for the for the family feud game at one point because we go back and forth two times We go one like now. Are you cutting this episode? I Just don't know I don't know Sometimes you don't know Don Sometimes you don't know. Don't even laugh, dude. I just can't. It's astounding. As if he's Steven Spielberg. Get out of here, dude. Dude. Beat it, beat it, dude.
Starting point is 01:11:17 Dude. You, you, you... You haven't done shit. The nerve of you is insane. It's pure insanity, dude. Stay back there. Stay back there, dude. Next thing you know, he's gonna give us line readings.
Starting point is 01:11:30 How about this? How about this? Ready? Bob? Well, that was fun. Let's try it with the other cards. Is that the transition that you want? That's great.
Starting point is 01:11:40 Give me another shot. Give me a shot. You do one. Well, that was interesting because thank you so much, cone for doing the one that's bad friends related cool But maybe we should go to the ones that are like traditionally the cars that you got at a gift store or whatever That's a great idea under the good idea, right? Take it away guys. Let's do it. You better fucking use that. Yeah Go go fuck him up. Go fuck him up. I'm dead serious go Bobby go fuck him up. I'm not gonna I'm not gonna you know why a man no no here's here's the deal you are a little cocksucker
Starting point is 01:12:15 Here's the deal that was you know I'll be honest with you It's the role Don't defend it. Don't, don't, why, why? Why do you have to even defend his comment? God, that was so good though. It was pretty good. It was, I'll tell you why.
Starting point is 01:12:33 He knows. He knows. It'll forever burn the spirits. Yeah, it's gonna hit you. Like he knows it. Yeah, and he doesn't care. He's like, this is gonna completely separate us. 100%.
Starting point is 01:12:43 Right, there's no way going back. As if it wasn't bad before. Yeah, I have to say this joke though. Say it. Right, so he says it, right, knowing that it's, he could get fired. Oh yeah. It's forever done, and yet he had the balls to say it,
Starting point is 01:12:57 and I appreciate you as a fucking warrior. Woo, yeah, woo, yeah, woo, yeah.

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