Bad Friends - Family Feud

Episode Date: April 22, 2024

Get MORE Bad Friends at our Patreon!! https://www.patreon.com/badfriends Tour Tickets: https://badfriendspod.com Thank you to our Sponsors: BLUECHEW & SeatGeek • SeatGeek. Use code BADFRIENDS for 20% at +https://www.ticketsonsale.com/ 0:00 Bobby's Black Magic Voodoo 2:24 Smelly Nubs & Lap Dances 10:50 King Of Condom, Carlos Gets Lucky 20:10 Bad Friends Tour Ending 26:55 Family Feud is On 56:43 Is Nic Cage The Best Actor Ever? 1:03:12 World's Oldest Man More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Juicy Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jetskijohnson/?hl=en More Fancy SOS VHS: https://www.youtube.com/@SOSVHS Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fancyb.1 More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: 7EQUIS https://www.7equis.net/ Podcast Producer: Andrés Rosende This episode contains paid promotion. #bobbylee #andrewsantino #badfriends #sponsored #ads Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This NBA season make every three-pointer alley-oop and buzzer beater even more exciting with FanDuel. Download the app today to see why we're North America's number one sportsbook. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gamling.com call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. You believe, you seriously believe in voodoo dolls? I believe in New Orleans black magic. And that's not being racial. Yeah, it sounds like it is. That's what it's called. Black magic and that's not being racial. Yeah, it sounds like it is all black magic. I'm not being racial

Okay, let's see He doesn't notice there's nothing there. Oh you gotta find it this went right in your vagina Did it work yeah, Okay, I'll stop. You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? A white dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. You two are something.

We're bad friends. This is such a nice gift that we got from a fan. Where was this in, Niagara or was it in? It was in Niagara. And then they go, then they said, we didn't have enough time to do yours to you. And I saw your heartbreak a little bit. No, you know, I don't care about that stuff. I thought that was very nice that they gave you something.

I don't need to have reciprocation for gifts. When you get something, I don't need to get anything. I don't mind. Mostly because I don't get any, but it's also because- Oh, you get some. Pretty rarely, but I think you get gifts because you ask for them often. I don't ask for gifts.

That's fucking ridiculous, dude. You definitely fucking do. I deserve them. That's he? But that's different than asking. Why do you think you deserve gifts from fans? Well, I'm a conduit of... You're having a stroke?

No, I just... I'm really kind of going, why do I need them? Yeah. I think it's a good, you know, it's one of my love languages. Your love languages is gift receiving. Yeah. One of my love languages is gifts receiving. Usually it's given.

Mine's touch and gift receiving. Mine is- And blow jobs. That's my love language. Myrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I love language. Well, that's kind of like, this is like genders now. If there's gonna be 50 genders, then there can be 50. Right. Words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, that's you. Quality time and physical touch. I guess pee in my face is physical touch.

Yeah. So it doesn't bother that. Well, are they touching you though? Yeah. I guess. A part of insides, something inside is touching my body, so I guess that is physical touch. Yeah, it's physical touch.

Yeah, yeah. Could you ever do like a Shiza video, you know, in Germany where they poop on each other? Could you ever do that? Like a poop video? With you. You would? With you, Carlos and Macon.

Well, let me tell you why I'm out on Carlos. Cause Carlos' experience from this past weekend. He's a bad little naughty boy. We'll talk, get that in the- Huh? You're out? I'm out on you for a little while. Oh no.

I think you're a bad little boy. I think you're a gross little dirty scum nugget. You're jealous? I'm out on you for a little while. Oh no. I think you're a bad little boy. I think you're a gross little dirty scum nugget. You're jealous, dude. I'm not jealous, dude. I wouldn't have done what you did. What you did was bottom of the barrel scum bucket nugget nugget. That is, yeah, yeah.

It was terrible. You know what that is when you get like a six piece nugget from McDonald's and there's always one that you're like, oh my God. That's you dude. I can't eat that. Yeah.

What did they do to it? Yeah. What did you do? What did I do? I did nothing. Right. No, you didn't go into McDonald's. You were outside.

Wait, wait, wait. First of all, I don't know what you're implying, but I'm trying to be positive today because it is tax week. Oh, okay. So I'm trying to be mindful and very positive. So clearly say you're slam. And you look ridiculous today. Yeah, yeah.

But we won't even address it. Go ahead, what were you saying? Well, I just heard that you had not such a great time at McDonald's. Yeah, I opened up my nugget box and there was no nuggets. And who told you this information? Oh, there's only one rat in this room. Look, Carlos.

We're just having a lot. All right. So this is what happened. Oh, my God. You were you spread lies, spread rumors. We'll have to address it. When you came down from the elevator at like 2 30 in the morning and I'm walking up the elevator, you were you were so happy to see me.

Why do you get you? You know, you've got some like Trump Trumpisms on your expressions where you go, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I learned from the past. I know. You know what I mean? Yeah. Coach is king. You have Bidenism.

Sleepy. Yeah. So, so I was coming down, you were coming up and the reason why I smiled at you was as if, like if you remember that, you know, in Game of Thrones or medieval times where they jousting with the horse? Yeah. Right. I was obviously the one that lost. Right. So I'm in the fucking armor.

Well, you're off your horse. I'm off the horse. You didn't get on the horse. You barely got on the horse. Right. And I'm like, there's blood and you have your little pole thing. You're looking down on me. That's what, I would smile if you were jousting. I was like, you got me this time, sir. Yeah, good game. Good game, right? So that's what that smile was about, right?

So what happened was, Give it up, baby. We both met somebody that night. What time was it? Niagara Falls. Niagara Falls, this was, this was just about midnight is the departure from the show. So I brought a girl up, I don't know what it was.

Gone. I was sulking in the green room. Well, you were? I just, the show didn't go as well as I wanted. One of the worst shows we've ever done. I don't know, it was just like something wasn't clicking. Was it me? I feel like it was me. It was certainly not done. I don't know, it was just like something wasn't clicking. Was it me? I feel like it was me.

It was certainly not you. Every joke I said ate it. That's not true. That's actually not true. We can all be genuine about it. There was a guy with one leg. The one legged guy. He took his leg off.

That was awesome. And in my mind it was, I got a joke. Right? So he takes his leg off. And this is like 5,000 people. Yeah, there's a lot of people. Right, so he takes his leg off and he's kind of hopping around on people. Yeah, there's a lot of people. Right, so he takes his leg off, and he's kinda hopping around on stage,

and I go, I'm gonna save this joke. Yeah, I heard you store it. I heard it go in your head. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a penny bin. Yeah, yeah. Ka-ting! And then, finally there was like a little gap

where I go, I do it. My instincts are usually right. They're almost always right. So I look at him and I go, you have a beautiful nub. And silence. It was almost as if there was no one there. Right?

And when that happens, you smile, but your eyes show all. Yeah, yeah. So I did. It was. I laughed. No, you did. Yeah, I did. No was. I laughed. Yeah, I did. Do you have zingers?

No, no, no. Oh, you're a zing master, but we had to smell the guys. When you take for those. Oh, my God. It was the worst dude for our fans that have one leg or one limb missing. And the sleeve he took off the thing and he goes, it smells pretty bad. And we both said, like, I mean, who cares? It can't be that he's like, trust me, you don't want to. And we smelled it. I genuinely, I almost threw up in the booth.

The booth, the booth. In his boot, because it was unbelievable. Yeah, it's a little bit of BO. It's like BO, rotten Bidussi. Rotten Bidussi for sure. And you know what else it is? What? Like, like. Rotten pussy, too.. Rotten Badoosie for sure. And you know what else it is? What? Like, like.

Rotten pussy. Like an old dingleberry. Like a dingleberry that's been attached for a long time and it got rehydrated. Like a little bit of water splashed on it. Yeah, you know, in Korea, some of the bathrooms. By the way. Yeah.

Whatever you're gonna say, yes. Yes. In Korea, some of the bathrooms, right, are still a hole in the ground, right? Because when my grandparents lived. China, same thing. Yeah, yeah. So I remember I was a kid,

I don't know if I've ever talked about this, have I? When I was a kid, I go, how long has this been here? And my grandfather goes, thousand years. Thousand years of shit. Right, so basically there's a hole in the ground and you can look down and there's, it's like a well of shit.

Yeah. Right? And I thought, my great, great, great, great grandfather's shit is down there. That's awesome. Yeah. Shit well. Yeah, the bottom of that layer is what his fucking nudge fell through.

Smell this, smell that. Just that. We huffed it. Yeah. We passed it around. I meet a young lady. You met a young lady, which was a good high point after the show.

And Indian, which I have to only say because... Brunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-brunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dunga-dung Is that racist? I don't think it is. Yeah, a little met this young woman. She was very nice and very- I had never- Pretty. Hooked up with an Indian woman. I'm shocked. You've never even had like a makeout session with an Indian girl? Never. So you, but you've hooked up with almost every other color of the rainbow. Yeah. No, not black. You've never had a black girl. Oh, yeah. I have. One. Bob. One. Full or half? Full, half.

100%. Yeah. Not- The kind that Robert De Niro would like. You never had India. Never. Never. I think it was the one I've had Persian. I've been hooked up with Persian. Yeah, I've heard it with Mexico.

What's up, bro? I've had South American. Ooh, what? Brazil? No, but he's Argentine. Argentina. Yeah, that's that Argentina. But I hear and so no Central Americans, by the way. No, but is he Argentine or something? Argentina? Yeah. That's that, Argentina.

Argentina. But I hear. And so- No Central Americans, by the way. But he was, she was more like messy. Oh. So she kind of looked like Andres. No, messy like her vagina was like very dirty.

Oh, was her sloppy? Yeah. It was very dirty. But- But I can say, but I'm a scum! Yeah. So, so, you know, and then she just,

she gets naked. We make out a little bit, she gets naked. She goes, I don't want to do this. I was just, I go, I thought, you know, obviously. Sure. I'm fine. She's like, I could just, just kind of give you a lapgancy kind of thing.

Oh, okay. Well, since we're here. Yeah. You know, might as well. Wylston Niagara Falls. Yeah, like in McDonald's, I get the nuggets. You gotta. Right, so it's like.

But do you ever really get the nuggets? I don't. That's the point. Right. Were you fully clothed? I was fully clothed. Very weird. Very weird, right?

Why didn't you get naked? She's naked, you're clothed? She didn't want me to. She said- Because as she got naked, I was like doing this and she goes, no, I'm not feel comfortable about this. She's butt naked? So I'm standing there like,

and she's going, yeah, I'll give you a lap dance. I was just going, okay. It's so weird for some one party to get naked, the other one to be like, I don't want you to get naked. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So she does a lap dance very good. Sure. Then she gets clothed and she goes, bye. And then I don't want you to take it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So she does a lap dance, very good. Sure. Then she gets clothed and she goes, bye.

And then I walk her down. That's nice though. Yeah, but then he comes up with just relief. Like the Joker. Like, right, right, right. This dirty nut scum. Nugget, nugget, nugget. Right, nugget, right.

Went to a strip club. Well, speaking of lap dances, yeah, he went to a strip club. Right. Went to a private room. Well, speaking of lap dances, yeah, he went to a strip club. Right, went to a private room. Sober. Yeah, fine. And tell the story then, Nugget. This girl.

Friend. My girlfriend. Just a bud. Yeah, she messaged me and she was like, oh, you're going to be in Canada. I'll be close to Niagara Falls. I'll make it a work trip. I'll go there.

Nice. In parentheses, I'm a stripper. Right. And I went, oh, cool. Her'll make it a work trip. I'll go there. Nice. In parentheses, I'm a stripper. Right. Oh, cool. Her job's everywhere, I guess. Exactly. Yeah. And so she can't get off work during the show. If she would you have said, Oh, cool. She was funny. She was a nuclear engineer. Of course. So I got I'm at the set. I'm a nuclear engineer. I'm a nuclear engineer. What are you talking, you're... I'm the girl. Oh, okay.

Just go on. No, no, no, stop. That's the weirdest improv. Yeah, what are you doing? Yeah, what is this, a David Lynch improv, right? I'm a nuclear engineer. It just never ends, it goes back and forth. It's like repetition in-

So am I. In meisler technique. There's an exercise in meisler technique, it's an acting style, where you repeat the word. Yeah. Until you hit emotions so you say it different. That's funny because you've literally done this a million times to Andrew,

where you've been the wrong character in the improv scene. Dude, Nuggy, you're begging for trouble. Dude, it's tough tonight. Buddy. It's a tough day. What are you begging for? Are you looking for a fucking? Well, it's a tough day. I don't think I? Are you looking for a fucking? It's a tough day

I don't think I did anything wrong in Niagara Falls. You did something right? I didn't say you did anything wrong. We're We're celebrating in your victory Okay, he dude you just jousted he's just he's still picking up some of his armor. Yeah, be nice You're right. Yeah, you don't parade around after the joust and show off. Yeah, you're right now you help him up off the ground Which I did. All right, continue. So you go out of your door is what I'm saying. I'm emotional. Yeah, go ahead. I like that you said she couldn't get off work Like it's a fucking corporate gig like she has to go ask for PTO to not dance Can't you just say I'm not gonna dance tonight?

Well, she got there like around four and I think the law is you have to dance for five hours the law There's dancer laws, dude. What do you mean? She had to get a permit to dance there? It's Canada Well, yeah for business, but she could also just not dance Yeah, but she wanted to like being good standings at the club. Got it guys that work there seems scary Really? Yeah at a strip club. They seemed like shady fellows a lot of Drake's around Yeah, so I asked her if there's a private room we can go to at the strip club She goes, of course, there's a VIP room the champagne room Exactly, and those usually cost a couple hundred bucks, right?

At least. No, it was $50 for 30 minutes. It's Canada. Yeah, Canada. Jesus, Niagara Falls. But it's not really a private room. There's a curtain. And on the sides, you can still see.

So we go there. I spent $100. We're in there the whole time. So this was a transaction. I didn't give it to her. I gave it to some Asian lady who's like. There's always an Asian lady roaming around collecting cash. Why not?

I know it's great, I don't even know what she does. She was like the pimp of the VIP area. God bless. Yeah, we went in there, we had some laughs and hung out. You guys, so what did you just chuckle about meme culture on the internet, or what did you guys have a laugh about? She had run into some people that night that were at our show, she was talking about that. Let's get back to...

Brass tacks. Just talking, huh? We did other things. Explain. Please explain. We had sex. Interesting. Bad boy.

Very bad. Say the other thing. What? sex. Oh, interesting. Bad boy. Very bad. Say the other thing. What? Oh, that she wants to get married now? No. What? What the fuck are you talking about?

She wants to get married? Yeah. Oh yeah, you texted me. It was so bad good, huh? I'm not gonna say the other thing. I could tell right now that you're- Oh wait, the other thing. Yeah. Yeah, tell us the other thing

Oh my god the thing I said at breakfast. Yeah, which is what? No, well we're adding information that we don't even need right now, dude. You mean I murdered somebody three years ago I mean yeah, I don't want to know that Yeah, you talking about the blood all over the front seat of my car That's from high school man. Yeah No, dude. Yeah, dude. What are you, what? What's the other thing? I can't remember the other thing now.

Yeah, you do. You didn't wear a condom. Oh, that's so normal, of course. I wouldn't remember that. Okay. Wow. Okay. Incredible. Bobby's acting like he's like the king of condoms. I am the king of condoms.

He is, they call him king of condom when he comes into the, he walks in and goes, King of Condom, King of Condom. And the people at 7-Eleven are like, here he is, King of Condom. He gets them by the thousand pack. I think Bobby's- No, I just use gum. Oh, you do?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, none of them fits. Bubblicious? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think Bobby's making reference to the fact that you were with a dancer who I think you told us reference to the fact that you were with a dancer who I think you told us also Plays the game monopoly Kind of yeah kind of the monopoly of life. No, she plays the game of life. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, you should be careful I'll tell you what she does. She plays hungry hungry hippos, but the little balls are dicks All right, all right, all right wait you woke, oppen. Blunga lunga, lunga, lunga, blunga, blunga, blunga.

All right, all right, all right. Wait, you woke up on the wrong side of the bed today? No, I woke up in a good side. So did I. Yeah, I woke up. I danced in the shower this morning. Yeah, I was singing today when I woke up. But these guys, huh?

Right, I was singing and then, because you know, I'm getting my house done. It's almost done. No, the bedroom's gonna take two more weeks. Oh my God. I know. What is she doing in there? But the living room, she put the furniture in. Right.

And I walked in my living room, had nothing. It was also, it was like an open house. Like you were like, yeah, it was pretty bare. Nothing. Yeah. Nothing. Yeah. Right. And to see a rug and curtains and all that stuff. It just, I was, I walked into my living room last night. I sat there for the first time and just kind of like watched stuff, you know what I mean? But I was in a good mood. My cats were like, I woke up like, da na na da na da na, right? Just, da na na da na da.

And my cats were like, da na na na na na. It was like, we were in, and then fuck faces, man. Bringing me down today, dude. Scum nuggets over there. Why, what did I do? What did he do, guys? You didn't do anything. I'm a good employer.

Well, can I just say something? Yeah. You were mad at me. For what? The next morning. You were acting nice and proud of me today, but the next morning when I saw you, you were pretty upset with me for getting laid.

No, he wasn't upset at the fact that you got laid. Thank you, Andrew. That's an insane comment. Pure insanity. You know better. Maybe selfish, you're right. No, he's not upset that you got laid. Thank you, Andrew. That's an insane comment. Pure insanity. You know better. Maybe selfish, you're right. No, he's not upset that you got laid. Thank you, Andrew.

At all. He got upset because he didn't get laid. No, I don't need to get laid. It was still a good experience. It's almost like you guys before the show talked about fucking with him. It feels like all of you guys had like a meeting about how to fuck with him.

Doesn't it feel that way? It does feel, I being fucked with I feel like being fucked like even with the kid Yeah, his tone earlier was oh dude. Not right attitude Magood over there. That was I mean, maybe is it something that I can change? I don't think you did anything. I know but I'm just I'm just from the for my employees What is something that I can do to change? Well, this is an opportunity to make a comment. This is HR. So let's hear it. You do owe me $100.

Holy shit. Holy shit. I swear to fucking God. When he said that, my eyes started vibrating. I think it's rage. Dude, it's like, it's fucking rage. Okay, so you'll get that. No, I don't want it.

No. Oh, you're gonna get it. Oh, you're gonna get it, buddy. You want it? You got it. You'll get it. You got it. Yes, Carlos.

I'll give you interest. Oh, wow. What's interest worth nowadays? What's interest worth? I'm not gonna give him monetary interest. I'm gonna you interest. Oh wow, what's interest worth nowadays? What's interest? I'm not gonna give him monetary interest. I'm gonna give him something else. Something better. Something better.

Yeah, something that. Thank you. Yeah. Oh no, you're not gonna like it. You know what's funny? Yesterday I got you and Andrew a present for the end of the tour. So while you're preparing for this,

remember that I have a present coming. Do we get it at the end of the tour? We get it right present coming. Do we get it at the end of the tour? We get it right now. No, you get it at the end of the tour, but I had to throw it in there. Is this because you've ordered it and it hasn't come yet, or you actually haven't gotten anything, but you're thinking about it right now?

No, I ordered it and it hasn't come yet. I don't think you ordered it. No, I swear to God, I did everything last night. And let me ask you a real question. Did we pay for it? No. Let me ask you another question. Okay.

Let me ask you another question. We did, didn't we? No, of course not. Did we pay for it? No, I promise, no. Oh, come on. I'm gonna see a charge on the comedy card. I literally promised you another question. Okay. Let me ask you another question. We did, didn't we? No, of course not. I promise, no. Oh, come on. I'm gonna see a charge on the comedy card. I literally promise you I'd be for it. Okay.

It would have been nice if you would have held that detail and then just gave it to us. It would have been such a big surprise. I know, but I had to throw it in there. Right now you did? Yeah, that's when I get fiery for the end of the tour. Exactly. He's trying to swim his way upstream now.

He's so far down. He's trying to get back. And it's not gonna work, but it's okay. Let's start off on a better now. He's so far down. He's trying to get back and it's not going to work, but it's OK. Let's start off on a better note. We had a great morning. You and I were singing this morning. I was singing. I was playing with the dog.

What song were you singing? Roddy Rich is my favorite. Get hyped. Rapper right now. I fucking love Roddy Rich. Everything he makes. I'm always like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, it gets me in my feels, dude.

What is I don't know. His voice is perfect. His rhythms are always beats are so good. They're so good. Ugh. I don't know, man. I fuck with Roddy Rich. Hard Roddy.

Get at me. Come say what's up to bad friends. Roddy Rich on this show. Amazing. I'm right right right. Anyway, I know you don't like be amazing. Come, come, come, Roddy, Roddy. Anyway. I know, you don't like black music. I love it. Exactly.

I'm gonna get Roddy Ricch. All music is black music, actually. So you do like black music. You don't like hip hop. Yeah, it all stems from blues, some jazz. It all stems from tribal music, as we're really gonna go way back. Let's go way back.

Let's go way, way back. If you go way back, it's from noise. If you go way, way back. You know what I mean? When we were organisms? Well, no. Yeah's go way, way back. You know what I mean? When we were organisms? Well, no. Yeah, yeah. Amoebas.

Is that an amoeba? Can you imagine even black little amoebas like... Yeah, yeah, yeah. They could beatbox when they were like little microorganisms. Amoeba. Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me. Anyway, let's go. So I'm happy for you.

Let's move on. You know what I mean? That was a great, but you know, it's very, very good. Very, very, very, very good. So what I want to say is, you know, it's the end of the tour. We have a couple more left. We have Tucson and Vegas and that's it. Maybe we'll go back in 2026.

We're gonna take some time off. 25, we'll take some time off for the rest of the year. I mean, in the United States that is. We're going to Australia at the end of the year. Tickets will be coming on sale soon. People keep asking us, Australia, we're coming down. And we're going to Dubai, which is a one-off, one show. So, it's a little sad,

but I think we're gonna see each other every week here on the pond. Yeah, dude. We'll see each other at the club. Nothing's gonna change. And we'll hang out. Yeah, nothing's gonna change. Everything's gonna be good. No, are you feeling a little anxious about it

or you do sound like you're a little sad? I do think it was a little weird because when I said to you the tour is almost over, you did kind of react where I think you might, it's a little bit of a melancholy thing for you. Well, you know, the truth be told, it is sad. Because when I go on the road alone, it's just not as fun.

It's totally different. Yeah, I'm by myself, I have some openers. There's more pressure, I think, because of the fact that it's my thing. And it's just fun to, when you're on stage, especially in the standup portions, I know that they're getting a good show. Same.

So it's like- And then we go out together, and then the best part is they're getting a good show. Same. So it's like- And then we go out together, and then the best part is we go eat a great meal. Yeah, so it's been really fun. It saved my life actually last year. You think so? Oh yeah, those early dates really saved my life, man. I was in a bad state, so I just kind of look at it all.

Life, there's a lot of curve balls right now. There's a lot of things happening. And it's like, I had said, I think earlier on that I go, I think 2024 is the best year I've ever had. But now certain things are happening that there's some roadblocks and some trials and tribulations. But I'm still finding joy in it

because I know everything passes. Nothing is forever. Everything passes. This too shall pass. Yeah. Don't you think? I totally, I believe in that whole lot of it. When I see that video of me as a kid, you know, on my Instagram where I was, you know,

I mean doing standup and I'm watching, you know, at the restaurant working. I, when I look at that guy, I go, oh, that guy was riddled with all these problems and issues and with people and circumstances and scenarios, and none of those things should have been an issue because I don't even know what they were. Yeah, but how nice.

But we worried so hard, when you're young, you worry so hard about the things that are going on, like I'm never gonna have this and that, and then none of that came true. And so it's like right now I'm trying to go in five years, I'm gonna look back at now and go, oh, why did I worry about that? Yeah, so I'm not, I don't wanna worry about it now

because as you get older, you know, the end's coming, man. And soon, Do you see his laugh? Yeah, yeah. That's crazy, dude. And what is it? The end is near and right that soon. Judgment cometh and right that soon.

You know, Andreas, when I die and I look down, because I will be looking down at my services and my funeral and stuff. Oh. I think he means because you're in the casket. I know, I think he means I'm in hell. I think he means in the casket. No, no.

That's what I think. You know what's interesting is you will be looking up in the casket. No, no. That's what I think. You know what's interesting is you will be looking up from the casket at the people surrounding you crying. Regardless of where I'm at. And I think about me, I'll be cremated, but I'll be so be a lump of dust, but I'll want them to save my eyes.

So I just want the lump of cremation with two little eyeballs. Dude, that's so good. Is that funny? Maybe your lips too. Yeah, yeah. But it's like- Yeah, eyes, lips, and it's on a, oh my God.

It's me doing the Bobby Mom face? Yeah. You know what? Can you do it in a bag? Yeah, what? A clear bag with your eyes, your lips, and I'm gonna put a hook on it, and for every Christmas, it's gonna be an ornament.

Blue tube. You guys, I'm out, I'm single, I like to go out, and I wanna get, you know, I'm older. You wanna get a little bit of something something. And I'm telling you, blue chew helps my situation out. I chew on that stuff, and all of a sudden, bing bing bing, magic dog. Is that what it sounds like when you get a boner? Bing bing bing.

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Chew it and do it. And we've got a special deal for our listeners. Try BlueChu free when you use our promo code Bad Friends at checkout. Just pay $5 shipping. That's BlueChu.com promo code B-A-D-F-R-I-E-N-D-S to receive your first month free. Visit BlueChu.com for more details and important safety information. We thank BlueChu for sponsoring the podcast. Anyway, so it's sad, the end of the thing, but you know, there's always a beginning. There's always a new one. One door closes, another one opens.

Like look at this, special moment for us. This episode will have already come out, but in a few days, we're gonna be playing Family Feud. Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, blunga, dun, ga, dun, ga, dun, ga, blunga, dun. No, no, no. Don't do that at Family Feud. I promise I won't.

Because I will do that on national TV. Okay. So- We're playing Family Feud. So what happened was I was, I was hanging out with Rachel Bielson and Olivia. Rachel Bielson? And Olivia.

And they- From the OC? And they asked me, Rachel goes, do you want to do Family Feud on my family? And I go, I'd be honored. And then two days later I get a call that Family Feud wants my family. Right, so I'm like, I said yes immediately.

Now I can't sleep at night because I want to be a fool. No. I don't know anything. We're gonna do great. It's, I know it without pressure, but imagine standing there with Steve Harvey, my opponent, with the buzzer, right? And I just don't know how quick I'm gonna be.

I've never done it before. I don't know if I'm gonna know the fucking answer. There's all these things, so I think that we need to practice today. Oh, let's do a little practice round. Do we have practice round? Yeah. Okay, ready? All right. Here we go. Nate. Okay. Wait, wait, wait. Sorry, Steve. Wait a second. We have the Lee family and the Santino family here.

Okay. Steve? Yeah. Sounds like Steve. Okay. So name a TV show that you both have guests on. Bobby. The League. Okay, Andrew. Wait, then it's just my turn? To see who it goes. Oh, Curb Your Enthusiasm.

All right, Andrew. Yeah? You got, no, what the fuck? Name a TV show that you both have starred on. Oh, same question, same category. Oh. We both have starred on. That's what it's saying.

We have? Five? Not at the same time. I know, but we have? Yeah. Whoa. Whoa. Thank God.

Yeah, thank God this isn't in the thing. Whoa, this is hard. All right, how many seconds does he get? 10? It's yours, your turn. I'm gonna, he just, Yeah, that was you. Go. Oh, this is hard. All right, how many seconds does he get? 10? It's yours, your turn. Yeah, that was you. Go. Oh, it's my turn?

Oh, it's, er. You don't know either. I don't know. So it's back to me? Yeah. We both start in, you never did The Office, right? Fuck.

Yes, I got, yeah, I done. You didn't do The Office, right? No. No. Okay, go. All right, what's that show with Esther and Benji Alfaro? Oh, you can't ask. That's illegal, you can't ask.

Three, two. One together. Together one. Eh. Yeah. Alone Together. Alone Together. I got it. Do you wanna see the answers?

Yes. So we're out? I got it. Yeah, I mean, you're 40 points. You have 40 points. Okay, I got 40. Let's see. Oh my God, this game. We're gonna get fucking trampled. We're fucked, we're fucked. No,. Yeah, I mean you're 40 points you have 40 okay. I got let's see Oh my god this game. We're gonna get fucking trampled. We're fucked. No. It's not gonna be about I thought you're gonna do I thought you're gonna do questions that they would ask on family few we both did family guy. Oh, we did family guy

Yeah, what else? That's the one that was the one I How do we not know that I don't know we don't even know us we're gonna be don't know our yeah I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, Bobby? No, it's him. Thank you. Fucking Steve. Jollibee. OK, Bobby? Fuck, that's that low? Baloot. OK, Bobby. That's what I was going to say, but I thought that's not real.

She actually likes Jollibee the most. I know, I know, I know. All right. I know. Let your mustache kind of drip off. I think it's funny if it's halfway up. Sue, who's next? You, you're up, because you got it higher than me. Pog Pog.

Nope. Okay. It's gotta be something funny at this point. It's gotta be like, poop? No, I got it. What? Taco Bell. We're all wrong.

All right, so what is it? So rotten fish, yeah. I said poop and a bat. Yeah, fuck this. Who made these answers? She did, Rudy did. They were submitted. Are we giving the points to anyone on this round?

I got it. Balloon. Bobby got 35. I got 35. I got 15. Yeah. Name five Taylor Swift. Oh, fuck you, dude, I got 35 I got 15 yeah Cute little girl

I actually don't know any of the names of the song. I don't know. I don't know. I think... I can tell you impossible... I can tell you impossible... Dude, I mean this is crazy. I don't know any of the names of the songs. I've heard them before. Change, change? Is that one? Oh yeah, change, change. How about... I'm sorry, I put something that younger people like.

Well, dude, fuck... Let's move on, dude. How about how about I'm sorry I put something that you know younger people like well dude fuck Let's move on. You're one. No we can't let's move on Okay, let's just give him the cards. Just give him the cards. We'll play the real game. We're gonna play the real game Let's do it, but we're not doing points now anymore. Yeah, I'm way ahead you you won the round of like no Knowing bad friends, but now this goes to general. Good, this is what we need. This is what you need. This is how we prepare.

Yeah. Yeah. All right, here we go. Let's see this. This is the real life questions. Let's do it. All right. Name something you might find in an ambulance. Andrew.

An EMT. Stethoscope. What? So it's me again? Yep. A fucking person? Yeah, on a fucking stretcher? Stretcher.

Okay. A paramedic. I said that, I said EMT. I already said that. That's an EMT, yeah? EMT is a paramedic. Oh, that was a machine. So wait, so I win that, so I get, what do I do now?

You, I mean, I guess that- Now I get to guess my second guess. Yes, nine points you have. Oh my God. And one more answer. Okay, so name something inside, read the question, cause I'm the next guest. Name something you might find in an ambulance.

Heart monitors, those fucking jumper cables. No. A driver. monitors those fucking jumper cables no a driver so it is oxygen where the fuck is this from yes Harvey's this is Harvey's in Bangladesh yeah it's a family get you family few Bangladesh family feud man this is all right does not sound like one next one, next one. Oxygen is everywhere. I know. What kind of shitty game is this?

I know. Name a professional who blows a whistle. Referee. Andrew. Number 2 answer. Want to try Bobby? Yeah, lifeguard? Number two answer. Yeah. Wanna try Bobby? Yeah, lifeguard. Number three answer.

So it's still me. Okay. And I get those points. Okay. That's how the game works, you know that right? On the show. Yeah, yeah, yeah, fine. A dog trainer.

That's a great fucking guess. Yep. Good answer, that's where you go, good answer, good answer. Good answer, good answer. All right, you're up. That was funny, that was great. You just have to play the game. Yeah. Good answer, that's where you go. Good answer, good answer. Good answer, good answer. All right, you're up. That was funny, that was great. You just have to play the game. Yeah.

Too much pressure. Oh, I know. Victim. Great, great answer. That's not out there. They use whistles though. Yeah, I know. Okay.

Yeah. If I said that on Family Feud, would that get in trouble? I don't think we should say Just a wild guess all right Can't even say it on the an art show an assault victim that sounds better. Okay, someone being assaulted. Yeah, that's not on it No, it's still wrong Okay Perfect. Read the question one more time, please name a professional who blows a whistle The head question one more time please name a professional who blows a whistle the head the head drag queen at the yeah on the floats no I know a high school coach I a coach doesn't have

a fucking what you're saying during practice yeah Yeah. Yeah, that's for all right It's on there dude. It's bad. Okay, so the first answer is a police or a traffic cop. That's good Police don't ever have whistles never heard of that before maybe in New York Cops don't have whistles maybe a traffic cop. Yeah, but did they even exist anymore? Yeah anyway move on That's it. That's it. Okay, so we just got some we did. Okay. Okay. Let's really focus Let's go. Let's go. No matter how hard it tries name an animal a snake could never swallow a bear Elephant You gotta keep going yeah giraffe

Lion Yeah, sorry. That was too much. You got to keep going. Yeah, giraffe. Lion. Hippopotamus. Number five answer. A alligator. A horse. Number two answer. So we got them all. I got one and two.

Yeah, well you guys have four. We are missing one. We're missing one. So you're up again. I got one and two. Yeah, well you guys have four. We are missing one. Oh, we're missing one. Oh, so you're up again. Oh shit. A dog? No, they can eat a dog. They can eat a dog.

A chihuahua maybe. Of course. Yeah, your dog, your cats too could get fucking. A cow was the fifth answer. All right, so we got two of them. We got four. We got four. Together we got four out of five.

That's good. All right. You know what, I'll just say this is helping me.. No it is. Yeah, because now I go maybe I can't answer some Yeah, yeah, all right. Name something made of feathers A headdress A hat well that that that would work that would have A coat I guess so. What is it? Feather duster.

Yeah, that's it. Yeah. Number two answer. I got one. Bird. He's not made of feather? I couldn't agree with that more. He's definitely made of feathers.

That's where it comes from. That's a great answer, Bobby. Oh, that's Steve Harvey. That was Steve Harvey. Very good, very good. So bad, dude. Yeah. Made of feathers?

A rug? I got it. Pillow. Ding ding ding, number one. Yeah made of feathers. Um a rug I Got it pillow Yeah, do they cover do they? blanket You know, I'm very happy you're on my team you and I are gonna do it we do do well we're gonna do well Here we go. Another name that kids use for father Daddy We're gonna do well. We're gonna do well. Here we go. Another name that kids use for father Daddy or dad and one. Yeah dad daddy dad and dad Papa

Pa Good totally different Neither were Steve Harvey ever you said Paul. He said yeah's totally different. No. You're the worst Steve Harvey ever. You said Paw, he said, yeah, Pops. Two different words. Not even spelled close. I said Pop. No, you said Paw.

No, I said Paw. You said Paw. I saw it, we can rewind the tape. No, I'm on your team. I said Paw. I know what you said, you said Paw. I watched you do it. You went Paw.

There was no P at the end. All right, you're right. I know I'm right. You're right, you're right, you're right. I cheat a lot. I'm a cheater. Well, this game is on TV. They're gonna know. Well, I'm gonna do that in front of you. You have to. Yeah, yeah. You're right, you're right, you're right. I cheat a lot. I'm a cheater. Well this game is on TV. They're gonna know.

Well I'm gonna do that in front of Steve. You have to. Yeah, yeah. And I'll defend you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He said it. That's what he said. Then you say, you know what you say after that?

Steve, he's straight from Korea. Yeah, what do you want? We just got him. P's are hard for them. Yeah, pa pa pa pa. All right, let's hear it. What's the next one? Okay, name something that ends with the word code.

Security. Yes. Number four answer. Pass. Pass code isn't on there? Yeah. Jesus. Go ahead, you're up. Guy code.

These are all legitimately good answers. Yeah, they're all great answers. This is the problem with the show sometimes, you'll have good answers and it won't be on there Bro code I know that's not I know I hate code Code in code and code what is it area code fuck? Oh fuck zip code Jesus Christ Morse code Jesus Oh my god. We lost barcode. Let me tell you something. We lost we're gonna get cooked Just as long as the code things out there. Yeah, yeah Oh my god, we lost! Bar code. Let me tell you something. We lost, we lost. We're gonna get cooked on Saturday.

Just as long as the code thing's not there. Yeah. Yeah, forget the code. Man, I hope they don't. Because when they said it, I'm like, why? Yeah, of course. It's hard. How do you train your mind to know these things?

Well, we have to try it again. Let's go, let's get that action. Let's train our minds to get there. We gotta get there. Kids can't wait for Christmas. Wait, say it again? Kids can't wait for Christmas. You do know Steve will be hard to understand as well.

Yeah, yeah, kids can't wait for Christmas. You do know Steve will be hard to understand as well. Yeah, yeah, kids can't wait for Christmas. He's doing this because Steve is hard to understand. And I mean that. I watch the show every night. You know this, right? Every night I watch the show. I watch this, then America says.

Kids can't- I can't understand some of what he says. Sometimes he just- Wait, so kids, what's it is? Kids can't- Can wait for Christmas. What kind of- Oh, that's not it?

No, you have to- Now you have to guess. Presents. Presents. What kind of dolls wait for? What? it? No, you have to... No, you have to... No, you have to... No, you have to guess. Presents. What kind of dolls wait for? What? It's my turn.

You already guessed. Oh, yeah. What can't adults wait for? Yeah. Saturday. The weekend. I got it. What?

I got it. The weekend's not on. I got it, I got it, I got it. Friday. No, it's obviously not a day. If I, yeah, no. People wait when they're worried I just said you said weekend. Yeah the weekend people can't wait for the weekend. Okay, something similar, but bigger. Oh, yeah

People can't wait for summer adults can't wait for the summer I mean I read your mind and say yes vacation he knew that you were gonna say what? Vacation you got it. Okay, vacation. What else can wait? What can adults not wait for? Adults can't wait for what? I know, I got it.

The kids to move out of the house. Yeah. No? How is that not on there? That sex cruise they've been wanting to take. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. No. No, go ahead, ding, ding, ding, ding. No. No, go ahead Bob.

So number one is paycheck, and then school to start, which you guys can- That's kind of what he said. He's kind of. Bobby said when they get out of the fucking house. And bedtime, which is also kind of the same. And the day after Christmas. God, I hate these questions.

I hope these are not- Oh my God, we're fucked. But if they are, how great- One more, one more, let's go. Come on. Okay, name something people buy by the roll toilet paper paper towels

quarters Roll of quarters leave family bread Yeah, by the roll roll of bread I'm gonna do that. You're dude. You know I'm gonna fight for you honestly dude. Yeah, what you roll, roll of bread. I'm gonna do that on the show. Dude. You know I'm gonna fight for you. Honestly, dude? Yeah. What you just did there, dude, forever makes us

compadres for life, dude. My best friend. Dude, you're a liar like me. Hey Steve, for the roll, roll of bread. Tell me it's not a roll of bread. You've never do a Jewish deli? It's a roll of bread, bud. Yeah.

Swiss roll, Swiss miss rolls. What do you buy in rolls? Carpet. Carpet? No. Film? Rugs. Oh, film. What do you buy in rolls? Carpet. Carpet? No. Film? Rugs. Oh, film.

That's three. A five? Yep, yep. That was the number three answer. How about, wow. Wow. Should we cancel? Yeah.

We should cancel. So tape and stamps. No, okay, tape, yes, but stamps can fuck off. Stamps can fuck with nothing. That's not right, Steve. I've never bought, who buys stamps? I don't buy stamps. Right. I haven't ma can fuck off. That's not right, Steve. Who buys stamps? I don't buy stamps. I haven't mailed anything ever.

All right, let's go. Next, the last one of that, and then we'll do the vector. By the way, you buy, hold on, you buy stamps in sheets now. They are sheets of stamps. Yeah. So fuck off. Go to the next one, guys, I heard the question.

Here we go. Give me another one. Name a pizza topping that some people think is yucky. Go ahead. Pineapple. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Number three. Number three answer.

Olives, black olives. My turn? Anchovies. Number one answer. Okay, two. Two. Oh, it's my turn? Yeah. Green pepper.

It's delicious. Fuck, bacon? I got it. Jalapeno. I know, I like all these by the way. Me too. I know what it is. How about-

I think I know what it is. How about... Okay, go ahead. Me? Yeah. Mushroom. Yes, two points. Two points. So now we have mushroom, anchck, tick, tock, tick. Okay, go ahead. Me? Yeah. Mushroom. Yes, two points. Two points.

So now we have mushroom, anchovy, and pineapple. And then the other two are ham and sardines. I've never seen a sardine on a pizza! Because people find it yucky. In New Hampshire, where? Do one more because I'm mad. Yeah, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad. Let's do one more.

Come on, one more. I'm mad too. We have to. Tell me something people think needs saving money People need people need saving Yes Soul saving people but that's the same thing. So he I get that that's gonna be on no that we said people I don't think they're gonna go at soul's soul. Yeah, but because it's so-

My turn. It's worded so bad. Animals. Yes. Okay, we have three. One more. That's only out of four? Yep.

I know. What? Go ahead. Oh, it's my turn anyway. Environment. The world. Yeah, the world. Yes.

Okay, we would- Okay, okay, okay. Here's the other problem. What's the problem? We have three other people with us besides you and me. Oh no. Yeah, we're gonna have to sneak them answers. No, I think Esther knows.

I don't know. I really, I don't- You gonna call her now? I have to call her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cause let's see, let's- I'm gonna call Jean. I'm gonna call Jean.

Hold on, let me call- Let me give you a couple of questions and you ask them and see if- No, the ones that we've already done. Hi. Hi, how are you? Good. Hey, listen, I have you on Bad Friends. It's not bad. I just want to... We're playing Family Feud. We're prepping. Bobby and I are prepping for this weekend.

Oh, okay. Well, are you available to do it Saturday? Because you're... You're on the team. Yeah, I know. Okay, because you're healthy enough Hey honestly, and we're happy for you, but don't bring the fucking bad. Don't bring the fucking baby. Okay, don't ever see that Don't even say that say it's say it plopped out or yeah fell out. Okay. Have you been training? Have you been training?

Dave explained the show to me last night and he was very upset that I... Oh, God. Oh, God. Make it be quiet. Um, yeah, I definitely think Dave and I decided last night I should be last for whatever. Like, I should be the last one to go.

You're not. Gene Hong's last. Gene Hong's gonna be last. But Gene is smarter than everybody. That's why we need a good anchor. Yeah Gene Hong's gonna be last. But Gene is smarter than everybody. That's why we need a good anchor. Yeah, he's a good anchor. We want you, you're kinda like the coal car, right?

You know what I mean? You're, yeah, we get a little bit of coal from you. All right, hey, we need to prep you real fast. Okay, are you ready? Yeah. Yeah, you gotta get these, we asked 100 people, top five answers on the board. Name a pizza topping that some people think is yucky.

Asta. Oh my gosh. Asta, come on. OK. Pineapple. Bing. OK. What else?

Keep going. Oh. Pizza. I don't like sausage, but no, people like that. Your internal dialogue, don't say it out loud. Yeah, don't say it out loud on the show. When we do the show, you can't do that. Okay, and show these.

Bing! Okay, two answers, come on, baby. Three more. Onion? No. No. One more wrong answer, and then that's it. Oh. Don't lose us the game,. Don't lose us the game.

Please don't lose us the game. Canadian bacon. Ham, ham, ham. We'll take ham. That's it, that's it. That would be on it. Okay, that's three. And we didn't even guess that.

That's great. Because she thinks differently. Yeah. I think she's like a little person. She is. She's an L3. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Little people think differently.

Two more, Esther. Come on, baby. You got this. Oh, two more of that category? Oh, yeah, baby. She's not going to get it. Oh people think differently. Two more Esther. Come on, baby. You got this. Oh, two more of that category. Oh yeah, baby. She's not going to get on my. Oh my God. Pieces of toppings that people don't like. My mom's nodding to me that it's so easy. Yeah. Well then what does she say? Mom, what's a pizza topping people don't like? This is a family theater.. Mushroom. Yes. Okay, one more, one more, one more. She's never gonna, that last one is bullshit.

Can your mom- Carlos just texted me and Joey's, but I said that already, Carlos. Okay, think this, there's a- Carlos, what are you doing? Oh my God, what? Now Bobby's pissed off. I don't know, I'm scared, what did I do?

Can your mom come play? I'll be your phone, dude. She's gonna be in the audience. All right, I didn't see your text not to say it. I'm sorry. Alright, we love you. I can't wait to see you this weekend. Bring the baby. I'll carry it out on camera. It has to stay home for Dave to breastfeed.

Okay, love you guys. Bye. Which racist did Bobby's dad respect the least? Well, I mean, yeah. Go ahead. Vietnamese. You don't know my dad, then? Did Bobby's dad respect the list? Well, I mean, yeah, go ahead Vietnamese You don't know my dad that yeah, this is you absolutely a move we ask a hundred people they asked a hundred people Chinese Fuck you guys fuck you dude black people Okay, I knew where they were doing I know what you're doing okay African-American Japanese obviously oh, I know I know one

I know one then I know based on my jokes. Yeah snake So we just wrote your jokes We're just reading off one of your jokes. Yeah, I understand of joke ones like this all right go ahead cockroach Okay, I understand of joke ones like this. All right, go ahead. Cockroach. Oh, okay. I don't know, because this is fucking- Yeah, that's one. Get a real one that you did. Do you wanna know the other answers?

No, I don't even wanna know. It's gonna make me mad. Monkey. Monkey. White. White. Mexican. Go back to the deck, dude.

Go back to the deck, dude. Name a notable alumni from Poway High School. Bobby. Go School. Bobby? Go ahead. Bobby Lee. Charlie Hoffman. Ding ding ding ding ding. That's number four.

Wow. Darshan Yuppe Haida. Ding ding ding ding ding. That's number one. Tom DeLong. Ding ding ding ding ding. That's number two. Drew Walrus.

Ding ding ding ding ding ding. That's number one. Tom DeLong. Ding ding ding ding ding ding. That's number two. Drew Walrus. That's number one. Tom DeLong. Ding ding ding ding ding ding. That's number two. Drew Walrus. That's number three.

Tyler Nevin. That's number five. Anisha Nicole. That's number six. Andrew Webb. Yes. This is according to their official website. Wow. Yeah, wow.

I can't believe I won. Wow, wow. And by the way, love Tyler Nevin stuff. He's great. Do you even know who that is? No, I don't know who that is. Tyler Nevin is a baseball player. Alicia, Anisha Nicole is an R&B and hip hop singer.

Did they really go there? Yeah. The hell went there. Yeah, Charlie Hoffman, by the way, I know very well, PGA Tour professional. Drew Walrus is a linebacker for the St. Louis Rams, Tom DeLong Blink 182, and Darshan- Is Tom on this now? Yeah.

No, he made it to the- I mean, this is just Wikipedia. Oh, but he didn't make it to the actual, none of these other guys are on the alum. This is on the Wikipedia page. Oh, okay. I'm on it too, no? And Darshan- Okay, thank youhan Upadhyaya is a League of Legends

professional player. Wow. Darshan Upadhyaya. Can we just do one more from the box and then we'll go, one more from the box and we'll just do something else. Yeah, that's fine. All right, ready?

What's the most important quality an employee could have? Andrew. Being punctual, being on time. Number one. Working hard. That's not a requirement. Okay. I got honest. Ding ding ding ding ding.

Number two. Okay. We got one and two. Friendly. Okay. Polite. Polite. Yeah, that's good.

That's a requirement. See, that's interesting. I would disagree, but I get it. Okay. Go ahead. Works well with others. Okay, polite. Yeah, that's good. That's a requirement. See, that's interesting. I would disagree, but I get it. Okay. Go ahead. Oh.

Works well with others? It's kind of polite, right? Yeah, you're right. That's the problem, though. But that's the problem, because it's so vague. It's so vague. Read the question again, because we have three. What's the most important quality an employee could have?

See, it's most important. I know one. What? Experience. Punctuality, politeness. Would you have hired any? No, no one in this office. None of these guys. Yeah, embody that.

Hey Steve, none of these guys would make it. Yeah. Read it one more time. Go, and then I'll get it. What's the most important quality an employee could have? Respect. Loyalty. Yeah, loyalty, respect.

And that's it. Dependability. Dependability. Dependability. Dependability. Dependability. Dependability. Dependability. Dependability. Dependability. Dependability. Dependability. and then I'll get it. What's the most important quality an employee could have? Respect.

Loyalty. Yeah, loyalty, respect. And that's it. Dependability. Dependability, wow. Okay, one more. We do need to do one more. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I need to feel it. Yeah, me too. Name an occupation Sylvester Stallone would be perfect for if he wasn't an actor. Boxer. Number two. What's number one? What are you police officer? Okay, the security guard. Yeah. Yeah, we'll take that. Yeah, what number is that? That's three

Okay, so Vicer Salon if he wasn't um It's my turn again. I got above you my number was above you right? I was Okay, yeah, cuz I was to write you right you're right um In the fucking military? Bouncer. Good, good, good, good, good. Yeah. What else, come on.

Oh shit. This is the problem, once you get it, you gotta come up with other ones. Yeah. Oh, that's the problem. That's the hard thing, because then you have to think while other people are guessing.

A wrestler. Good guess. Thank you. Football player? It says bodybuilder and fitness trainer. Those are the same... Steve, bodybuilder, fitness trainer are too close to each other. Every bodybuilder is probably a fitness trainer at one point in their life.

Could be, could be. But the board doesn't lie. It's like the sun is a star, the moon is a star. This is going to be tough. Yeah, we're going to get fucking cooked. No, but it's not that we're going to get cooked. It's just anyone sun is a star, the moon is a star. This is gonna be tough. Yeah, we're gonna get fucking cooked. No, but it's not that we're gonna get cooked, it's just anyone would get cooked. Yeah, who are we going up against, by the way?

I hope, like, it's like... We don't even know? You know what show? Love on the Spectrum. I would love to go get some. Really? They would destroy us. I think they would, yeah!

They would destroy us. Well, it's not math. Kids with autism would fucking murder us. What's 436 divided by 7? You know what I mean? Then they would, yeah! They would destroy us. Well, it's not math. Kids with autism would fucking murder us. What's 436 divided by 7? You know what I mean? Then they would do... 47. Yeah, they would kill us.

Anybody from Love on the Spectrum would murder us. You're right. Yeah, you're right. They have... Fuck. Okay, last one. With this one, we close the show. Name a musical instrument you really can't stand to listen to.

Andrew. I know. Oh, drums. Drums. See, this is the problem. musical instrument you really can't stand to listen to? Andrew. I know. Oh, drums. Violin. Drums. See, this is the problem, hold on, this is the problem with these questions,

and this does this on the show sometimes. Can't stand to listen to. Drums are fucking great. This is my issue. The question should be phrased, name a musical instrument if your neighbor was playing in the middle of the night would make you mad. Yeah, move on to the next question. Just one more.

Am I right though? The question's phrased wrong. Next card, next card. One more card. Let's go, let's go. Next card. Name something you pour on top of food. Chocolate. I got it. Pour? Gravy. Gravy, that's good.

Salt? You pour. You don't pour salt. Sure you do. I got it. Dressing. Yeah. How the fuck is that not on there?

Because it's more specific than that. That's too generic. Italian dressing. You fucking... Ranch. Ketchup. Ding ding ding ding number two answer. Ranch.

Mustard. Mayonnaise. You guys ran out of options. Toetchup. Yes. Dining number two answer. Ranch. Mustard. Aang. Aang. Mayonnaise. Aang. You guys run out of uptakes. Toothpaste. Aang. Syrup. Cheese. Hot sauce.

By the way, you pour dressing, it's cheese? What kind of fat fuck, you're not pouring a lot of cheese? Cheese? Yeah. How often are you pouring cheese ever? Oh, everyone eats queso? Yeah, no. And they're not pouring it all over their steak.

Oh, is he gonna eat queso? It's bullshit. Let's move on. I don't know. Fuck, fuck, we'll lose. We'll lose. It's fine. It doesn't even matter.

You know what? We're gonna lose and that's fine. It has nothing to do with your brain. SeatGeek. I'm so excited to see Taylor. You want to go see Taylor Swift? Well, guess what? Today's episode is sponsored by SeatGeek.

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And you know we came through for you guys. Use our code BADFRIENDS for $20 off tickets at SeatGeek. That's $20 off your first purchase with promo code BADFRIENDS. Make sure you click the link in the description to download the app. Last night you told me, a couple days ago you said to watch Dream Scenario on HBO. And any Bad Friends fans, dude, you gotta watch this movie. It's incredible. It's incredible. But I was thinking about his career,

and I'm just so like- Look what he's done. I know. Lord of War. But what he did was, he disappeared from it, because he did a movie called, that Christian movie that it was the one the worst movies ever made

What was it called it was called? Yeah, it's a pilot. It's one of the worst movies ever made What is left alone left alone? He didn't move go left alone. It left alone God, I'm gonna show you left alone on the um he can look it up up there Yeah, what did he get on Rotten Tomatoes? What it just what a career is that he's incredible? But he had that let so he had that time. He wanted always to be a movie star, like an action hero, and he won an Oscar in order to become an action hero, which is kind of insane. Can't do that these days.

But there was a gap through a decade where he was doing small movies, independent movies. I think Mandy is what kind of turned people's heads like, hmm, interesting. Yeah. God, he must be doing like, at that back then, he must be doing three films a year. Even now. We're a Valley girl, oh my God. Look at the amount of work he's done, this guy.

How could you do that much? He loves it so much, he goes from set to set, yeah. No, I mean, I get it. If you have the opportunity, I understand it, but also, how overwhelming. Yeah. Where is life? That's what gets overwhelming. Yeah. Where is life? That's what gets scary to me.

Where is life? When you're so inundated with so much work. I think about that with my buddy, our pal. Oh, by the way, Moonstruck. What a good movie. Great movie, dude. Oh my God. Oh, it could happen to you.

It could happen to you was great. Adaptation was phenomenal. You can name so many of these movies. Raising Arizona is still my favorite. And by the way, don't get me started on, go down a little bit. Don't get me started on Ant Bully. I mean.

What is that? I don't know. Dude, this guy's been in so many movies. He's in so many movies that some of them sound like they made them up and put them in there to see if you'd notice. Yeah. Like, I don't know.

Creek or Lake or something. Yeah, Creek or Lake. Like, I don't know. Creeker Lake or something. Yeah, Creeker Lake. This goes out there to everybody. This is not just reference to the film industry. I'm talking about some of our fans out there, and I mean this, I'm gonna say this to you, because I had a conversation with a friend of ours, a friend of our family, I can't say who, they're private,

but they were saying how they're feeling like they might be burning out a little bit, just like overworking. And they're not a comedian, they just work in our industry. And I was like, oh, you really have to take time because it's dangerous when you let yourself be a part of something and you don't get to do you a little bit.

And she was like, ha ha, you know, trying my best but I'm dragging myself around, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, I'm actually being serious. I'm like being genuine because I've learned if I don't do that, I get emotionally dark, deep down. Like I've taken this whole week of doing standup off. Now that we're back, I feel great.

You seem great. I get to walk to coffee in the morning with the dog. I get an extra couple hours at home, it just feels nice to be able to exercise, do the pod, take a break mentally, go to a nice dinner. I mean that for our fans too. You gotta do things for you sometimes that are- Yeah, I called you the other day,

you were taking a walk with your wife. Yeah, just nice, just get the fuck out of your- Nice. Because sometimes if all you're doing is working, like our fans too, some people are just working, working, working, working, working. If you don't take any time for you, I'm telling you, it's so bad for your brain.

Were you just kidding the other day when you go, I wasn't gonna do Family Feud or no? I mean, I think it was yesterday, you go, you know what, bud, I'm not gonna do it. Yeah, I wanted to see your reaction. Why, because if I gave you an out, you would've gotten an out? Yeah.

No, no, no, if you weren't excited for me to be there, I wouldn't have felt- Guy, guy, guy, I'm doing it for us. Okay. I'm doing it for our family. But here's the thing. I called you to check you to see, I wonder if he really wants me to do it.

And I said, because it's the Lee family, and I'm not a Lee. I love a Lee. I love a Lee. There is a Lee that I love. You're a close to me, like you are like a family member. You're like, you feel like a family member. You're a brother to me. Well then, what were you talking about?

It was an ego thing. You know what I mean? I just wanted you to. These are like third cousins. Cousins? Yeah, third, yeah, like I don't know them. McCone is like a guy, McCone to me, in my family network world, is like an Amazon guy.

You know the guy that drops off, it's like it changes every week, I don't even know who he really is. You're like on ancestry.com, like you're related to McCone. I'm like- How? I would just kind of read it and just kind of move on. I would ask them to change it. I go, can you take that off?

Yeah. And fancy to me, family wise, is like somebody that married into my family, but like we put up with him. Like he comes to the family dinners. Hey, do you want to play a popular game we do in Spain? And we're like, fuck, you're gonna make us do like the dice game thing or something.

Yeah. Your girlfriend's sister's new boyfriend is who you are. Oh my God. Yeah. Hey, I'm Charlie. Yeah, oh, Charlie, that's you. Yeah. Charlie, you're not funny.

Can I show you pictures on my phone of stuff that I like? No, get the fuck out of here, Charlie. And who's Carlos? Oh, Carlos is, I know what, dude, you're Cato Kaelan. Doesn't Carlos have a Cato Kaelan vibe? Dude, he is 100, you're 100% Cato Cailin. You're Cato Cailin, dude. Yeah.

Randomly lives in a guest house somewhere. Yeah, you just live in somebody else's guest house. Right. By the way, Cato, great, great head of lettuce. Look at that guy's hair. Yeah. Speaking of which, what were we thinking putting fancy in a bald cap? We have a bald guy.

What were we doing? We bought a bald cap? I mean, this is just mismanagement all the way around. Delegation is just bad here. Kato's got a great head of lettuce. He used to come around and do standup, right? Yeah, he used to see him at the comedy store a lot. He used to, you know what he used to do a lot?

I'd see him at Jay Davis' shows. Yeah. What was the name of that show on Melrose? He had that big room on Melrose. A parlor. Parlor. Yeah, the parlor. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

He used to come around there. That room used to shake, man. That was a fun room. There were some fun rooms, some of those rooms back in the day. Yeah, beautiful people. Alternative rooms. You never did Dublin's, right?

No, I think it was before my time. Because Dublin's was probably like in early aughts, like 03 to 04, 05, right? Yeah, the greatest night. I didn't get out to it. It was the greatest night of comedy. You guys don't know about that either Let's see this video. What is this?

Guinness World Records for this is their oldest man. Oh the oldest Brit. No, it's the world's oldest man. All right 11 years 222 days old. You are the oldest man. You either live long or you live short. And you can't do much about it. I am 111 years old. It's like his tongue doesn't work anymore.

I can remember my first day at school. Pause it. So here's why I think we wanted to play this video. Steve on Saturday will be also hard to understand. So we're trying to see if you could say, if you heard everything he said, it's gonna be easy. Steve's sometimes tough to understand. Yeah. Sometimes Steve, he runs through the questions real fast.

Yeah. So this, did you understand everything he said? No. Yeah, right, I know. But I was more interested in like, I guess when you get old, parts of your body die first. Your tongue, his tongue's been gone for quite a while. Yeah, so, yeah, that died probably 12 years ago.

12, he's 111. That died when he was like 85. 85, yeah. Would you ever want to live to be 111 years old? But he seems cognitive. More so than Joe Biden. And clear. I mean, seriously. More so than Joe Biden. And clear. I mean, seriously.

So he can still probably use an Oculus. You think he jerks off with the Apple Pro? But imagine what he's seen. I like, okay, 111, what year was he born? 100 years would be 1924, right? Minus 11. Oh. Thanks, Andrew. You got it. Thank you. I mean I mean that's embarrassing I don't have my abacus

Do you even want to be a hundred and eleven? What so he was born in 1910? so in 19 well What it's two thousand and twenty four nine hundred years was 1924 minus eleven was twenty four minus eleven So 19 to that he was born in 1914. Do 1913. 1913. Yeah.

He was born in 1913, right? Before cars, right? Wikipedia 1913. Planes, when did planes happen? Before planes. No, no, no. Yes, this is before- Commercial flights.

Commercial flights, yes, of course. In 1913, go and zoom in. This is the first Balkan War. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. Hold on, hold on, slow down. New York City's Grand Central Terminal was just rebuilt as the world's largest railroad station. The 16th Amendment to the United States Constitution was ratified, authorizing the federal government to impose and collect income taxes. Fuck me! What a shit year. That's when they decided to start stealing our money again?

Wait, so he's in high school during the Depression probably. 1929 to 1939. No, yeah, maybe just about. No, he's in middle school. Middle school. Yeah. Yeah, he can't eat lollipops. Zoom into this.

He is born, go down, let's see what else is going on during then. Hold on. Woman's suffrage procession takes place in DC. Oh, these chicks are looking to vote. Woodrow Wilson was president when this guy. Insane. The Mexican Revolution Pancho Villa. Oh my God. Wow. Folklore. Terrible year. Yeah. Scoot down. This is the year- Zorro was probably around still. Still. I think Godzilla was still around. Yeah.

You know what the single was? What? Patty cake. Patty cake, patty cake. I don't know the word- Baker's man. Yeah, yeah. Bake me a cake as fast as you can.

What else? By the way, a little demanding for a child, don't you think? Bake me a cake as fast as you can? Yeah. Wait, let's do the rest. Patty cake, patty cake, Baker's man. Bake me a cake as fast as you can. Yeah. Wait, let's do the rest. Patty cake, patty cake, baker's man. Bake me a cake as fast as you can. What?

Roll it, toss it, put it up my ass? Throw me in the oven and bake me fast? Is that what it is? Oh, there's actually lyrics. Patty cake, patty cake, baker's man. Bake me a cake as fast as you can. Pat it and prick it and mark it with a B. Put in the oven for baby and me.

For baby and me, for baby and me. For baby and me, for baby and me. It's cum. Is that what it is? Yeah, this is the song about cum. Pat-a-cake is about sex, isn't it? Yes. Wow.

What's the B on there? For fancy B? So this guy lived through before, he saw it all. Well, I don't know if he did. I mean, who knows if he was paying attention. England in 1913. Uh-oh. Well, I don't know if he did. I mean, who knows if he was paying attention. England in 1913. Uh-oh. Dude, look at it.

Back then, we barely had beans on touch. That's them in the water with full clothes on. That's like a... By the way, that's like a... There was no bathing suits back then. That's like a Los Angeles beach today. Yeah. Wow, look at that.

Incredible. I saw it the good times. You ever go see... Mexicans at the beach in LA, they're that. Incredible. I saw the good times. You ever go see, if I, Mexicans at the beach in LA, they're in full clothes. Mexicans will wear sneakers into the water. They will. Yeah, yeah.

What? Look, just look at that. Yeah, it looks like another world. It's incredible. What a life. 1913. Yeah. There's little British kids there,

there's poop in the streets. Yeah. What would you say as a great-great-grandson to him? I'd be like, just, you can go. You gotta go already. Peppo, you gotta go. Yeah, because I can, so I can get the money. I can.

Can you, does he, that's the thing, if you live that long, there's no way you have money anymore. He doesn't have fucking money. No one. He retired, what, 60 years before that. Nobody plans, no one's retirement plan includes 111. Yeah. You're done.

You're done. Your money's run, his money probably ran out by the time he was like 88 or 90. And then he was like, no. Yeah, at 85 he was like, should I work again? You gotta get another job? Yeah. That always breaks my heart.

When I see like an old person working somewhere, I'm like, when they're really old, I'm always like, what is going on? Yeah, well, oh. Like that breaks my fucking heart. It breaks my heart when I see like an old person working somewhere. I'm like when they're really old I'm always like what is going on? Like that breaks my fucking heart it breaks my heart like whenever I see I donated a bunch of stuff to goodwill And that's probably volunteer work, but the woman out back was so old and she was like you want any help And I was like no you can't carry all this shit What is that? senior citizens who are employed

Wow, California has the most. Who's surprised? How many? Four million? Yeah, you know why? This place is a fucking rip off. You have to work. This place sucks. Let's get the fuck out of here. Would you, would you, would we move the show? Could we move the show if we wanted to move somewhere?

Yeah, where? Atlanta? Europe. where? Atlanta. Europe. Both bad answers. Nowhere. Vegas? You want to go to Nevada? Save money on taxes?

Because if you go to Vegas... Fuck California, man. ...then people will get... There's people out there. We can get Carrot Top, all kinds of people. That's one. Right? Yeah.

Who else? Regan? Two. We can get Regan. We can get Nicolas Cage. Three. The magician. Shin Lim. we can get Nicolas Cage. Three. The magician, friend of yours. Shin Lim.

Piff? Oh, Shin Lim. Yeah, yeah. He lives here, doesn't he? No, Penn and Teller. They don't live there, they live- Paulie. Paulie lives here now. Yeah, Penn and Teller live there.

We're all wrong. It doesn't matter. We can also fly people in if they're- Britney. Right? Yeah. It's Vegas, we can fly people in. It's cheap from LA.

Okay. And number two, they're just so, let's do it. Let's go, We can fly people in. It's cheap from LA. Okay. And number two, they're just so, let's do it. Let's go. Let's get out of here. All right. Okay. You guys are all willing to move? Are we invited?

You work for the company, yes. Well, you signed a blood contract. Yeah. Well, hopefully we do well on Family Feud. And I hope you guys watch. We'll let you know when it comes out. And thank you for being a bad friend. Being a bad friend

We get a transition for the for the family feud game at one point because we go back and forth two times We go one like now. Are you cutting this episode? I Just don't know I don't know Sometimes you don't know Don Sometimes you don't know. Don't even laugh, dude. I just can't. It's astounding. As if he's Steven Spielberg. Get out of here, dude. Dude. Beat it, beat it, dude.

Dude. You, you, you... You haven't done shit. The nerve of you is insane. It's pure insanity, dude. Stay back there. Stay back there, dude. Next thing you know, he's gonna give us line readings.

How about this? How about this? Ready? Bob? Well, that was fun. Let's try it with the other cards. Is that the transition that you want? That's great.

Give me another shot. Give me a shot. You do one. Well, that was interesting because thank you so much, cone for doing the one that's bad friends related cool But maybe we should go to the ones that are like traditionally the cars that you got at a gift store or whatever That's a great idea under the good idea, right? Take it away guys. Let's do it. You better fucking use that. Yeah Go go fuck him up. Go fuck him up. I'm dead serious go Bobby go fuck him up. I'm not gonna I'm not gonna you know why a man no no here's here's the deal you are a little cocksucker

Here's the deal that was you know I'll be honest with you It's the role Don't defend it. Don't, don't, why, why? Why do you have to even defend his comment? God, that was so good though. It was pretty good. It was, I'll tell you why.

He knows. He knows. It'll forever burn the spirits. Yeah, it's gonna hit you. Like he knows it. Yeah, and he doesn't care. He's like, this is gonna completely separate us. 100%.

Right, there's no way going back. As if it wasn't bad before. Yeah, I have to say this joke though. Say it. Right, so he says it, right, knowing that it's, he could get fired. Oh yeah. It's forever done, and yet he had the balls to say it,

and I appreciate you as a fucking warrior. Woo, yeah, woo, yeah, woo, yeah.