Bad Friends - Matt Rife Today on Patreon

Episode Date: August 23, 2024

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You're not the Dark Knight, you're not the Dark Knight. Wow, wow, wow! See what the fuck is going on, dude. He walks in here like he's Bruce Wayne, this guy. Ladies and gentlemen, it's Matt Rife. Sit down in the blue chair, my little prince. Is this tap? We have to refill the bottles. That is true.

We do refill those. Guy sells out arenas and we give him the wrong address. He was, wait right there, I'll pick you up. It's sweltering outside. What address did you give him the wrong address. He was, wait right there, I'll pick you up. It's sweltering outside. What address did you give him? Dude, and I had the funniest Uber driver on the way over. Put on your cans if you want them. If you don't want them, you don't have to.

I'll wear them, I'll wear them. Hair's melted anyways. No, no, no. Beautiful fro. Fancy, do you care to talk about your mistake already? Yeah. I know this was coming. Just a number off.

Just a number off of our work address? So copy and paste is the thing that most people use pretty frequently or share the contact location. We've been here for three years and you let our guests to straight five miles down the road. Pretty bad. They have Google maps in every country. Every country.

And by the way, five miles in Los Angeles, a different state. Oh yeah, but he said like 30 kilometers down the road or something. He doesn't see that. He doesn't know. Yeah. He doesn't know what's going on. Well, let's give it up for our beautiful, wonderful guest, Matt Reif.

Woo! Buddy. Buddy. Buddy. Thanks for having me. Buddy, buddy, buddy. You know, I remember when you were a youngster. I know, dude. You were soft and young, you know what I mean? I know, very malleable at the time.

Yeah. First of all, he's still young. I'm a young girl though. People are young, but they can also be younger at one point. Yeah, I feel like you were never young. I feel like you were always Bobby. Yeah. I don't know if you ever had a youthful phase.

Dude, I'm youthful now, dog. No. No, really? No, you look like you sell gremlins now. Yeah. Yeah. What? Dude, that's so good.

Mogwai. And I do. Yeah. And I do the mogwais. How old were you on Mad TV? 42. I was in my late 20s. For real?

Yeah, why? No, you started at 25, right? Isn't that what it was? 23 is what I started. 23. Stand up? No, no, no, on Matt TV, 25. I was 30. Really?

You looked so young on that show. Yeah, he did. He looked like a little baby. I didn't even have hair down there. What? Yeah, yeah, I got my first hair at 39. Good boy. Yeah.

And- Matt, how old are you now? I'm 28. You and I met, I want to say, tell me if I'm wrong, 10 years ago, is that how long I've known you? Yeah, I'd say so. I've been in LA for 11 years, so 10 sounds about right. I met you about nine to 10 years ago.

Bobby and I have known Matt for a long time. We've watched your ascension and couldn't be prouder and happier for a good person that got what he deserved. You're a good, great comic, good dude. And when, you know, sometimes, you know, when he was blowing up for the second there, I'd hear some girls go, well, he's just hot.

And I'd just be like, no, Dick, he's got a skillset. You can't get there without the skillset. Like, there's a lot of hot guys have come and gone in this business. And honestly, I've always thought you were ugly. And you don't do- Thank you. No, I do it like you, it does nothing for me, me, me. Really, never.

Yeah, I'm not even nervous right now, Dan. Who's like, who's your like male celebrity crush? I'm more Sandy Danto. Right here. Sandy Danto-y. I like Pudge, a little Pudge in there. Yeah, he a little pushy. Yeah, like character.

I like the black ones, you know what I mean? That's reasonable. You like the Ian Edwards? You like to think realistic. I was the polar opposite of Sandy Danto. I know, I was like, can I have a variety? Yeah, you can. There's a variety of men that I like.

I like that you like attainable though. That's really nice. I think that's, whoa, wait, wait, wait. I think that you're getting somewhere. I don't think you can get Ian.