Bad Friends - Taste Our Rainbow

Starting point is 00:00:00 Fanduil Casino's exclusive Live Dealer Studio has your chance at the number one feeling, winning, which beats even the 27th best feeling saying, I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Enjoy the number one feeling, winning in an exciting Live Dealer Studio, exclusively on Fanduil Casino, where winning is undefeated. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario, gambling problem, go 18665531-2600

Starting point is 00:00:25 or visit connexontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Oh! Sacra! Sacramento? Hey, man. We're on tour and we've got a couple days left. Sacramento, California.

Starting point is 00:00:37 Sacramento, Long Beach. Long Beach? Windsor, Ontario. No, Windsor, Ontario. Canada? Then where else in Canada? Niagara. Niagara Falls, Ontario. No, Windsor, Ontario. Oh. Canada. Then where else in Canada? Niagara. Niagara Falls, Ontario.

Starting point is 00:00:48 Tucson. And then Tucson, Arizona. And where do we finish the tour on? Vegas. 420 in Vegas. I can't wait for that one. BadFriendsPod.com is where you're going to get those tickets.

Starting point is 00:00:56 BadFriendsPod.com. We also have BadFriends. Merch.com. Merch.com. And also, exclusive content. Makoni. Boni Makoni is up there putting a bunch of stuff up from the tour.

Starting point is 00:01:05 You also have bonus content available on the Patreon. Go to patreon.com. So congratulations to everyone involved. Congratulations. See you. Go to badfriendspot.com. Thank you. You two are bad friends.

Starting point is 00:01:15 Who are these two idiots? Woo. White dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. Woo. You two are something. We're bad friends. Before we begin, I want to say this, okay?

Starting point is 00:01:28 Okay. Me and Andrew had many discussions about this. Right? And we just thought, when your name came up to do it... Homerun. Not homerun. We laughed for four hours straight. Just the thought of you makes us laugh.

Starting point is 00:01:43 So I just wrote this song for you. Oh, yeah. La la la, Craig a goop. I like your eyebrows. One is thicker than the other one. Which is weird. No. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:02:00 Really? No. Okay. Rosie cheeks. He's got Rosie cheeks. I got Rosacea. Pearly hair. What? No. OK. Rosie cheeks. He's got Rosie cheeks. I got Rosacea. Pearly hair. What? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:02:07 No, just let us finish this off. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you have Rosacea? What's Rosacea? I get red. I guess I ate something spicy once, and between that and this dress up horribly funny, I just turned red for like three months straight.

Starting point is 00:02:22 Yeah, yeah. Your whole body just your face. Just my face. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I ate something spicy straight. Yeah, yeah. Your whole body just your face. Just my face. I ate something spicy once. Yeah. Impossible. That's impossible. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:02:30 So you ate salsa one time? Well, it was like Mexican salsa from like a. Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey. Carnieria, carnia side, carnieria. We have Mexicans here. Whoa, two. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:02:42 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do you want to introduce him and tell fans he is? Let me do a little history. We have Mexicans here. Whoa, two. Do you want to introduce him and tell fans he is? Oh, yeah. So let me do a little history. Yeah, do a little bit of a history. I don't know how he got my number.

Starting point is 00:02:53 I don't know how that...stop. I know. Stop. Amazing. God, your cheeks, dude, I just want to grab them. I want to grab them aggressively, right? And I just want to go...pfft...on your face. I really do.

Starting point is 00:03:04 So anyway, um Go ahead. So, um, dude, did you steal those from Santa? those cheeks Dude, those are so Rosie. He stole them from Santa. Holy shit. Have you seen the photos of Santa? Say ho ho ho real fat. Ho ho ho. Well, that's not sad. I will tip over if you make me laugh. I realize I'm not done. I'm not done with the intro. Thank you so much for doing this, by the way. I love you so much. But my point is is this, I don't know how you got my number, but you know, three years ago you started calling me to do your shows. He does a show called horribly funny. It's a wonderful show. It's a wonderful show. It's probably the best. Bring a room, is that?

Starting point is 00:03:39 It's not a bring a room. No, promoted show. Outside booker. So in LA, right? We have about four or five guys that are outside promoters and they have their What they use the same people. Let's be honest. Yeah, they do. Yeah, that's you and me. Yeah Yeah, and then you always get our senior, but that's it. He gets our senior all the time Right and then who hasn't aged He like he looks the same as he did when we do it. He really does. It's a little creepy how young he looks. He looks young.

Starting point is 00:04:09 Anyway, he's the best promoter, but every time we're backstage, and I look at you, you're always in a puddle of sweat. Yeah. You're just a bundle of nerves, and you don't know how to relax. Yeah, yeah. And I ask you questions back there.

Starting point is 00:04:23 You make him so nervous. I know. What, do you make him nervous? No. Who makes you questions back there. You make him so nervous. I know. What do you make him nervous? No. Who makes you more nervous? Me or Andrew? Bobby. There's no one that makes me more nervous than you back there. Andrew, like, shows up 15 minutes early. He, you know, he's peaceful and just does this.

Starting point is 00:04:39 Wait, wait, wait. You're great. He's peaceful? Like, it's like he's meditating. Oh, so he is like namaste. Yeah. Right, and I'm chaos. And I had to wrestle Orney Adams, like, you know,

Starting point is 00:04:50 so that he doesn't go on stage because he didn't want him watching you. Wait, wait a minute. Orney Adams didn't want to watch Bobby? No, Bobby didn't want Orney Adams to watch him. Oh, right, yeah, yeah. You don't want him? Why?

Starting point is 00:05:02 He's judgy. Oh. And I don't like judgy. Oh Oh, you don't want him to see your material then say so. No, I just don't want him to be there I love him as a human. Oh, right. I just don't want him to watch No watch to you. Does he want to watch you? What does he care about watching? He likes to watch me? Hmm, I say no, but anyway But so I'm so out of all the comics you hire. I'm the one that's necessary at the moment

Starting point is 00:05:24 Is it because I'm the only one that really ask you questions about life Well that too, but honestly you also make me the most happy like whenever I text and you actually respond I get the zoomies Like a dog. Yeah, I don't know what to do with myself like you run around Yeah, wow like the part in black swan where I just hold my phone against my chest and drop to my knees. You know. It seems, is that the right movie? It seems sexual.

Starting point is 00:05:49 No, no, no. No, no, no. You're not sexually attracted. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Wait, what do you mean no, no, no? Too many, not at all. No, okay. Like he's not attractive at all?

Starting point is 00:05:59 No, he's very attractive. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm not your type. No, it's not that. It's just I'm very Grateful and lucky to be working with you. You're worth every text, you know I text you so many times to get a response and and I just I hear that Andre I'm worth every text. Yeah every non-response when you finally do respond. Yeah. Oh

Starting point is 00:06:22 I was getting a little personal. We have different experiences with that. I'm going to put that on your tombstone. What? Worth every text. Not me. I am really worth every text. Yeah. Yeah, you know that.

Starting point is 00:06:32 I don't know. Yeah, you do. Yeah, you do, though. I don't know. Yeah. Don't act shy and cold. I'm prompt. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:06:38 I'm on time. I'm always nice. I always say, hey, thank you. And then I leave immediately after my set. I get out of the green room. I don't take any air. You take a lot of air. May I?

Starting point is 00:06:48 That sounds like the show. I'm late. I'm late. Never, never. And then what the fuck? Well, it's, it's. I'm always early is what he's saying. I know, but am I?

Starting point is 00:06:56 You're always early too. But like, it's getting you there. It's getting you there. That's getting me there. What do you mean? The response has been canceled. How many times has he canceled? On me, Believe it or not

Starting point is 00:07:07 Wow, you think it's hero Who's canceled more him or me? There no yes, no it was an accident, but it was but stop. Yes, but he has I've never canceled He just said it was an accident. No, no, he said it was like a miscommunication of booking one doesn't matter No, I've never canceled. No, he hasn't canceled I've never but he had been booked and he didn't be he wasn't there. No, that's not true I knew early and and I I Did it yeah, you did it out. Yeah. Yeah, say your name properly It's Greg a gop a gop. I call you a goop. We call you the goop over the goop. Oh, no way Well, your new name for the show. We call you the goop over here. No way. Well, your

Starting point is 00:07:45 new name for the show is the goop, the goop dog. I think it's the goop dog. Well, you're a goop. You're a goop. I love dogs. You have zoobies like a dog. I love dogs. One day I will be able to take care of one, but for now I'm just taking care of me, which is hard. What do you mean? What do you mean? It takes a lot to take care of me. Right. He has fucking a thousand animals. He can take care of me. He has fucking a thousand animals. He can take care of animals, you're fine. You can. My For You page is all puppies and Bobby Lee.

Starting point is 00:08:11 What? Is that on your dating profile as well? Do you say that to people? My FYP is Bobby Lee and puppies. They're the things that make, I think not just me, but lots of people very happy. I agree. Look, both these things are wonderful.

Starting point is 00:08:24 Stop kissing his ass, it's enough. I had. I look both these things are wonderful stop kissing his ass It's enough. I had enough okay, so how about this then okay? Okay? What are you? I'm ethnicity one Lebanese and no, okay my mom What was your mom's I've always wanted I never know I don't know okay? I don't know either but like yeah, you do know yeah, I do know okay, so why'd you say that? Okay, my mother is Lebanon, it was born in Lebanon. My father was born in Syria. Oh, so you're just, okay. Live in Lebanon.

Starting point is 00:08:55 I'm Armenian, so I'm just as lost as you are. Wait, you're Armenian, your mother's, so Syrian and Lebanese, that's what you are. You're Syrian and Lebanese. Yeah. Can I ask a question, serious question what you are. You're Syrian and Lebanese. Yeah. Can I ask a question? Stirris question. I feel like if you were raised in that area

Starting point is 00:09:09 and you were still there, that you maybe wouldn't have survived. No. No, I'm too bougie for that. No, I just think something would. We thought that would have happened. Yeah. I feel like they would have got you. They would have.

Starting point is 00:09:20 You would open up a paper bag on the side of the road. Something would happen. Something would have happened. Boom. Boom. I didn't say that. Yeah. No. Yeah, that yeah, no honestly. Yeah, I'm glad I'm not there I love Bob. I feel like you like a kebab. I'm a vegetarian. I just sleep a sleeper agent Are you a sleeper agent to do when you do zingers you gotta? Yeah, gotta come clean you gotta come clean yeah, you can't stumble on a good step

Starting point is 00:09:43 But they just have to say are you a sleeper agent or give it to Carlos? Yeah, yeah, right it down and they give it to him Anyway, wait a minute. You're a vegetarian. Yeah, are you single single vegetarian? No, could I just say that? I don't know. Yes. Are you a single vegetarian? I stopped eating meat because of Miley Cyrus. All right. I wanna say something more. Did she say, hold on, did she tell you not to eat meat anymore? Well, I was really high at a Miley Cyrus concert twice, and she just said, we need to stop eating our friends.

Starting point is 00:10:13 And I'm like, When? Once in New York City at Terminal 5, and then at the Woltern Theater in LA. And then I just replaced. I replaced all the meat for cheese, and then I'm like, gained 60 pounds. Goop dog! I went from not eating bread to just eating bread.

Starting point is 00:10:31 Yeah. And yeah, I'm... You went from meat to cheese and you gained 60 pounds. Yeah. In what span of time? Probably two years. Oh, that's not that bad. Okay.

Starting point is 00:10:40 Yeah, that's... And then I just keep going. So how long have you been vegetarian? Since 2015. Right, so could I just ask you something And I don't want to be mean You know I don't want I don't want to do it to ask Ask you must eat a lot of this. No, I don't need any vegetables. I love chips. I love Chippy. Oh, I see that's what you're vegetarian Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night

Starting point is 00:11:05 because I thought I heard a bag of Doritos. Like, I love this. Oh, with that vegetarian. You're more of a carbitarian. Yeah. Yeah, literally. I buy the vegetables. You're a carbitarian.

Starting point is 00:11:17 Dude, that's so good. That's the best leg you've ever done. You're a carbitarian. And that's OK, because you're not eating meat. And I agree with this, by the way. I understand this, because meat can affect people very negatively it gives people cancer Yeah, I eat meat, but I'm trying to cut down on bad boy meat like hamburgers bad boy meat Right red meat bad boy meat. I'm gonna eat fish and chicken. I thought you can see fish and chips

Starting point is 00:11:40 I'm not even you can have my chips. I'll just fish either I Can't touch it. I can't cook it, but I'm open to it more because you can't pet fish, but like cows are so dumb you know You could you could pet a fish if you caught it if you caught a fish you can pet it you don't want to I don't want to pet a fish. What about people that have pet a fish as pets I actually don't like when they there are places where you could pet starfish, that's gross. That's gross. Pretty gross, yeah.

Starting point is 00:12:08 Okay, so I need to, hold on, before we move forward, what is your meal day consist of? Cause then if you don't eat vegetables and you don't want no meat, no veggies, where's protein coming from? It can't be from Doritos. Cheese. I literally-

Starting point is 00:12:22 Cheese that only has a limited amount of protein in it. I literally, if I could have chips for every meal They have every flavor in chips. What was breakfast today today? I was gonna die since like yesterday So like today I've had a bagel and I don't usually eat bagels, but it has cinnamon and raisins in it So it's sweet. So I like give me give me one day of meals yesterday like breakfast lunch dinner I like eggs. So you had eggs in the morning. And I always Uber Eats or Door Dash. I don't cook this.

Starting point is 00:12:48 Right here, right here. Yeah, I do the same. Every meal. I'm the same. And I don't even feel bad anymore. Like I don't even look. And you know what? I think it's more cost effective.

Starting point is 00:12:56 It is. It really is because like I order groceries whenever like, you know, once a month and I literally just throw them right away. I have lots of vegetables in my fridge that I'm gonna be throwing away in a week. But I won't even open it. Wait, wait, wait.

Starting point is 00:13:09 So in the morning you have eggs, just eggs. Yeah. And then what happens at lunch? It's doordash time. Or chips. Oh, doordash time. Yeah, it's... You know, there's lots of pizzas.

Starting point is 00:13:21 There's Mexican food is easy to switch. There's just, you know. What's your favorite dinner to have? Yeah. It used to be barbecue, but I do like barbecue sauce. Like you could put barbecue sauce on salad and still, you know, get the- So you're putting barbecue sauce on romaine lettuce?

Starting point is 00:13:38 Yeah. Oh yeah, there's fake, there's beyond chicken. No, chicken impossible, that sounds like a TV show. Chicken beyond chicken. No chicken impossible. That sounds like a chicken show So do do you know what you've ever had for dinner? Do you know what you've ever had? What have you had for dinner last night? What was dinner last night? Oh I like you know, it's not what you like. What did you have? Do you know what you did? Honestly, I've been like freaking out about today for...

Starting point is 00:14:05 Oh, it's been a while. Yeah, okay. Yeah, like I just... Well, let me say this. Let me cut you off. Yeah. First of all, we love you to death. I think you're such a... No. You're a stand-up guy. You're so fun and you're very nice

Starting point is 00:14:16 and you put together great shows and you're great to work with. You're responsive. You're smart. You're sweet. You're cool. You're the best outside promoter I've ever worked with. No. Outside of that, you're just a great guy. Great guy. And I'm saying this, I'm being genuine. We love you. We love you.

Starting point is 00:14:28 We love you. Don't be nervous. We just want to have fun with you. But we adore you. You're such a wonderful human being. Your energy is, you know, if someone says like, you have an aura around you, you have all the colors. Whoa.

Starting point is 00:14:39 You're the entire fucking rainbow. There's some color missing. Huh? There's some colors missing. Which ones? I mean, he's not aggressive. With the color. Well, he's not, no black. There's no black, but there? There's some colors missing. Which ones? I mean, he's not aggressive. Well, he's not, no black, there's no black, but there's no black on the rainbow.

Starting point is 00:14:49 Oh, right, right, that's true. Yeah, there's no black. You're a fucking rainbow. Oh, there's rainbow colors, you have all of them. You have all the rainbow. Thank you. Yeah, can you feel that in your soul because you're a good human being?

Starting point is 00:14:58 That's way too kind and way too overwhelming. I made it worse, somehow. No, no, no. I thought I was gonna make it easier. Thank you. made it worse. No, no, no. I thought I was gonna make it easier. Thank you. No, no, no, no. No, you know, one of my favorite things to do ever is have an edible and then I like to turn off the lights and then I like to eat sour Skittles in the dark with my eyes

Starting point is 00:15:17 closed. And sometimes I suck too hard. But like I have tasted the rainbow and it's pretty awesome. Like, but then you have to know when to stop because if not, you'll get cold sores in your mouth. But that's like my favorite thing to do. And anything could be playing in the background. Taste the rainbow tonight, but it has to be sour.

Starting point is 00:15:39 You get high, you eat Skittles, you get cold sores. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, if you don't stopres Yeah, you don't stop like you don't stop So you have to this is you tasting the rain. Yeah. Yeah. It's amazing What do you mean don't stop? Oh just a regular bag of Skittles is not that many skittles I know but like first I started with the regular Skittles which come in the mini bags And then I started eating the whole sour Skittles and then one day. I'm just like it's still early Let's do a second bag of Skittles and then I woke up the next morning and I couldn't move my mouth

Starting point is 00:16:09 It was too sore So like I couldn't even have water No one to stop Taste the rainbow. Let's do the new fray. Hey new fray for Skittles taste the rainbow No, when to stop no one in moderation in moderation Everything in moderation. Yeah, so um, do you do that nightly? Oh? That no I had to stop because honestly like my mouth was gonna fall apart. Yeah. Yeah, so now special special treats So can I how old are you? Oh?

Starting point is 00:16:40 I'm gonna stick with 27 because honestly people I've that's what I've been saying since I was 27. Yeah Yeah, and how how many years have you been saying it? No, 10 I'm 27. You're 27. Yeah, so you really don't want to tell us your real age Wait, why why? Oh, I'm 40 Bob's 52 52. I could get away with just more if I was younger. What do you mean get away with? What do you look at me get away with? Have you committed crimes? No.

Starting point is 00:17:10 So what do you think you're getting away with? You're a young looking guy. You look healthy. You have nice skin, good hair. Let me see your teeth, smile. Has Skittles taken care of you? Have you lost a few? No.

Starting point is 00:17:21 Let me see. Are you looking at me? I don't smile with teeth. Let me just show me. No. Show me your this no why why my dentist this is like me trying to get my child to brush that night yeah no I can't this guy used to do stand up how long did you stand up for many year actually like I was freaking out so much today my brother sent me a video of me doing stand-up I feel like that part of me's died, but I I I but I felt I thought I would hate it watching it But I liked it a lot. Yeah, I thought you're so funny

Starting point is 00:17:53 It was the work ethic that kind of I carried on into horribly funny Yeah, but your work ethic as a producer is incredible if you just did that as a how long do you do comedy years? You do comedy I started started in 2000 and I think 16 probably. Okay, and then you went for how long? A couple years? Yeah, and then I probably, I started horribly funny in 2017 at the Lyric Hyperion, which, and then I did the Lodge Room,

Starting point is 00:18:24 and then when I finally got horribly funny into the comedy store full time, that's when I had to stop comedy, because I burnt myself out. How many years is that, two? No, probably, probably math. 2016, 2017, 2018, which of these years did it start? One more.

Starting point is 00:18:42 2019. Maybe one more. 2020, right before the pandemic. Yeah, probably that. So you did about four years of stand years of give or take. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, probably yeah three to four years Okay, or is your family here in Los Angeles? Oh, no, they're literally all dead But except my brother Mike Mike That was out of pocket stop it stop it

Starting point is 00:19:09 Obviously That's how I get to eat skittles in door. I'm literally like you know Mom and dad are gone dad died last November this How oh you guys aren't gonna like it Oh, I guess it was a mixture between heart complications and COVID and In something else I think was like another thing that that was mixed into that was a vegetarian water and is no No, no, no, I'm gonna die soon, too. That's why like every no no no no I'm gonna die soon too that's why like every

Starting point is 00:19:47 whole day that I freak out too much though like you gotta say that that's so that's why I brought you on to the show okay because we want to help you navigate we want you to relax and just have a different outlook and just approach things a little differently you're not gonna die under a law. Have you been to the doctor recently? I could never actually. I've gotten away with not going to the doctor. You've never been... I don't know if you're getting away with it. No. Well, here's the thing. When we were young, the doctor, the family doctor said that our mother was sick because we were fat.

Starting point is 00:20:19 Oh my god. That's so fucked. Was this a doctor here in the States? It was an Armenian doctor, which is equivalent to a dog doctor. He's dead too, man. He's dead too. He's dead, yeah. She's dead. All right, so hold on.

Starting point is 00:20:31 Back it up. Your father passed away, and we're very sorry about that. We're close. Bobby's dad is dead as well. My dad died. Were you guys close? You know, we could have been closer. Okay.

Starting point is 00:20:41 But yeah, basically my upbringing was super weird. Family moved from, not weird, it's not weird. They moved from Lebanon and they just, we lived in like, there was four apartments in a house. So like my whole family kind of lived there, like 13 people. And slowly they, you know, started dying. So like, it almost looks like we did it on purpose or something.

Starting point is 00:21:06 It's like nine of them are dead or 10 of them. Like it's just me and my brothers and a cousin left. But like also before one of the horribly funny's one of my aunts died in my arms. And then I had to go like literally the same night to, and like it was Theo Vaughn was on that night and Natasha Leggero and Moshe Kastur. No, no, no, no, I was, I was.

Starting point is 00:21:24 That's insane. Yeah. No, no, no, no, I was just, I was just. That's insane! Yeah, no, no, no, no. It's crazy! I'm like lifting her head up, it's going back down. Oh, so she died, literally died in your arms. How old was this woman? God knows how old anyone is. Probably 27.

Starting point is 00:21:34 Probably 27, yeah. Yeah. Hey, bad friends, looking for a super offer for Super Bowl 58, DraftKings Sportsbook has you covered. New customers can bet on the big game and turn $5 into $200 instantly in bonus bets. I put a couple of shekels on the big game myself. I'm not going to tell you who I bet on.

Starting point is 00:21:53 It's none of your business. Bet in private and bet responsibly. Download the Draft King Sportsbook app now and use the code BADFRIENDS. New customers can bet $5 to get $200 instantly in bonus bets only on Draft King Sportsbook and official sports betting partner of Super Bowl 58 with code BADFRIENDS. The crown is yours. You got a gambling problem?

Starting point is 00:22:10 Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit www.1800gambler.net. In New York, call 8778-HOPENY or text HOPENY 467369. In Connecticut, help was available for problem gambling call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org. Please play responsibly on behalf of Boothill Casino and Resort in Kansas. 21 plus age varies by jurisdiction. Void in Ontario, bonus bets expire 168 hours after issuance. See dkng.com slash football for eligibility and deposit restrictions terms and responsible gaming resources. Robinhood!

Starting point is 00:22:50 Did you know that even if you have a 401k for retirement, you can still have an IRA? I didn't know that, but Robinhood has the only IRA that gives you a 3% boost on every dollar you contribute when you subscribe to Robinhood Gold. But get this, now through April 30th, Robinhood is even boosting every single dollar you transfer in from other retirement accounts with a 3% match.

Starting point is 00:23:11 That's right, no cap on the 3% match. Robinhood Gold gets you the most for your retirement thanks to their IRA with a 3% match. This offer is good through April 30th. Get started at robinhood.com slash boost. Subscription fees apply. And now for some legal info, claim as of Q1 2024 validated by Radius Global Market Research, investing involves risk including loss. Limitations apply to IRAs in 401Ks. 3% match requires Robinhood Gold for one year

Starting point is 00:23:37 from the date of the first 3% match, must keep Robinhood IRA for five years, 3% matching on transfers as subject to specific terms and conditions Robin at IRA available to US customers in good standing Wait a minute Greg so so hold on Do you at her house? We all live okay, so you all cause you I think I'm dying. Yeah, really Yeah, it was my brother calling. I think she's done. Let's play it out ring ring. Hello Sweetie yeah, she aunt Hello, I'm dying. Okay. I'll be right there. Right. She caught there I'm leading. Oh down. She used to live up there now. Oh, yeah

Starting point is 00:24:21 Does it kind of does because it could All right, all right. But, yeah. After it happened. Forget it anyway. And then you walked into her place? No, luckily, she wasn't feeling well. So my brother said, oh, hey, I'm gonna go for one minute.

Starting point is 00:24:36 Can you keep an eye out on her until I get back? We're gonna take her to the hospital. And of course, with my luck, you know, I'm like, you know, talking to her, making her laugh, and then like, her head just falls down. And then I'm like, wake up or I'm gonna call 911 and then I keep like bringing up her head and it keeps falling her down. What?

Starting point is 00:24:56 And then wake up or I'm gonna call 911. So, wait a minute. So is it the building? Is it as asbestos in it? Is So, is it the building? Does it has asbestos in it? Is everyone dying because of the building? Black mold. Is the building dangerous? I don't know, but maybe you're haunted.

Starting point is 00:25:12 You still live there. I live there. Now. I live there alone. We gotta get you out. No, I like it. No. You're out too much.

Starting point is 00:25:20 You live in a four floor department by yourself? No, no, I had to, they wouldn't let me live in the house by myself. So I moved to one of the apartments and, you know. Who's they? My brother. Okay. So how many brothers do you have?

Starting point is 00:25:33 Two. And so your mother passed away how long ago? Oh, she had MS. So fuck. Yeah, I don't remember. So your mother passed away a long time ago. Your father's just died. Probably 10 years, yeah.

Starting point is 00:25:43 And are your brothers in you close? Yeah, yeah. Okay, so they're the ones that get you through. Yeah, but did they think that you're the Next next no, I mean do they are they what I'm saying is are your brothers worried about you all like yeah But they also know that like you know, I they're not gonna be able to get me to like go on walks Sometimes they trick me like like they trick me into going to the park the other day How they trick you? Skittles? Coffee, but I can't have coffee either. I have to do decap and you know why because of this because you know had to yeah I you know I didn't want to because I didn't want to freak people out backstage with being nervous

Starting point is 00:26:22 Oh wait a minute, but coffee makes you nervous. Yeah, everything makes me nervous. Well, how can we get you not nervous? Yeah, I guess I I don't know This is an invasive question, but I feel like we love you and we're getting closer Do you can you come a little bit more if you come? I'm on lexapro. You can't come. No I've already asked some questions like that And I and I mean because I think maybe coming. I think you're asexual. I'm just not interested in putting myself out there. But you like pussy.

Starting point is 00:26:50 Yeah, I just don't like. I don't like that, you know, I just don't want to be hurt. You don't want to be hurt. You are a rock star. No, I'm not. Yes. I'm comedian. I'm I think like people ask like, you know, I have options as a promoter half my job is to keep my pants on the other half is to you know

Starting point is 00:27:12 Book book great shows with I don't think that's the first half First half would be book a good show. Yeah, okay, book a good show Keep your pants on and we're ready to go. But like, I'm, you know, I'm out of shape. I don't take care of myself. I don't like compromise. It's a self-esteem issue. Oh, that to start with. But also like when you do the math,

Starting point is 00:27:32 I'm really at the moment, I'm really happy alone. Like I'm really happy. Like if there, I'm like, at night, I sleep considering a dog and I'm just like, I just don't want anything breathing in the house, which sounds bad, but like, I just don't want responsibility. I don't want sounds bad, but like I just don't want responsibility I don't want liability. You know, I don't like sharing things. It's not gonna work with me

Starting point is 00:27:50 I think I've made myself too comfortable. Okay, but as a 27 year old man. Oh Now it's it's cuz we know it's a lie. Yeah Do you ever masturbate? Uh I Think you need to come I think you need to come and I mean this I don't you're backed up I don't need to go out with you don't need to have you can be being singles there's nothing wrong with living single dude yeah there's not there's no one judging that but I'm saying like for your mental and and physical health of your brain and body you do need to come you I think you need to come a little bit once in a while you have like a doctor oh no wait because it burns no you come to the

Starting point is 00:28:33 burn you don't enjoy it you don't like it okay honestly and that's you know what I take it all back yeah you I want you to do whatever makes you comfortable okay I do think your jitteriness may be relieved by a little bit of tension relief yeah I really don't know okay let's move on then I feel like no no makes you comfortable. I do think your jitteriness may be relieved by a little bit of tension relief. Yeah, I Really don't know. Okay. Let's move on then. I feel like no, no We we don't want to make you feel uncomfortable at all I'm just curious. I want you to be more relaxed in life because I know when I walk in the back room there You're gonna have an aneurysm. I feel like they're so nervous that and I'm like you got to chill everything's well And you've done such a good job. So it's like, I went to Pauly's Christmas party.

Starting point is 00:29:05 Yeah. I go up, I look through the window just to see who's there. And I see Harlan, some bunch of people. And I see this guy sitting on the couch. Yeah. Like he's like with his both hands like this. And I stared at him for like three minutes.

Starting point is 00:29:18 He wasn't talking to anybody. You've just seen them with his rosy cheeks, right? And then when I came into the party, you didn't move from that position at all. You were there for hours. Hmm. Yeah Well, I was talking to Harlan and and some of the other comics before. Oh, okay Yeah, I was there early. I was there early because I had to leave early. Oh, that's right. Yeah What are your hobbies? I go to a lot of Festivals lots of concerts music music. Yeah, okay What do you like? What kind of music do you like?

Starting point is 00:29:45 I love Miley Cyrus. I love the Killers. I love Imagine Dragons. Everything people don't like. Imagine Dragons. What do you mean? Who doesn't like Miley Cyrus? Who doesn't like the Killers?

Starting point is 00:29:54 I love- Samtown is one of my favorite mountains of all time. So Miley Cyrus, the Killers, Imagine Dragons, who else? Nelly Portado. Love, I'm like a bird. Yeah. I love pop and rock music. You know, I Love. I'm like a bird. Yeah. I love pop and rock music.

Starting point is 00:30:07 You know? I'm like a bird. I only fly away. I don't have a singing voice. I don't know where my home is. Go Liz, home is. I don't know where my home is. What kind of bird would you be if you were a bird, bud?

Starting point is 00:30:17 I was scared of birds, actually. My brother had a bird who was too friendly and he would... What do you mean too friendly? I remember breaking my box spring in half because the bird would chase me and this is like probably when I was 24 Just a couple years ago. Yeah, like and then I just threw like a comforter at the bird. It's just like But I didn't get it What kind of bird was it? A street bird.

Starting point is 00:30:47 A street bird. Like a finchy kind of small. The brown one. The little one. The brown one. Little tiny one. Yeah, like the one you would see on the street. Right, right.

Starting point is 00:30:56 So that little tiny guy was chasing you around the fucking apartment, huh? And you broke a spring ball. Yeah. And you threw a comforter. Yeah, I was more 20 than 20. Yeah. Wait a minute. How did your bro- you mean a pigeon?

Starting point is 00:31:07 Is that what you were-? No, no, it was like one of those cute birds. But it's just like, do what birds do. Don't- Right. Why did your- how did your brother have it in the home? Did he get it from outside and brought it in? It won't.

Starting point is 00:31:16 Look, look, look, look at some of these birds. Like that? Kind of like that. Yeah, yeah. But like more, more brown. More brown. Like that blue. Does that image make you scared when you look at that?

Starting point is 00:31:27 Does that look like that looks dangerous? It's great when it's there, but if it was here, it's too close. Too close. Oh, it's too close. All right, put away the birds. The birds in the studio. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:31:41 What was the last time you went to a zoo? Last time I went to a zoo is probably because anthropology class made me and a baboon started Jerking off in front of me and I don't want to go back Wait stop. It was traumatic. Yeah, I wrote that in the anthropology paper too that the baboon started jerking off easily amused baboon I mean easily aroused baboon. Was he staring at you when he was doing it? It was anger in his eyes. I'm just like, I'm writing this paper

Starting point is 00:32:09 as quick as you're jerking, you know? I gotta get out of here. So you haven't been there since high school? No, I was in community college for eight and a half years. I liked it a lot. I loved it. You didn't want to transfer? No, so why? It's so eight, for what community call it Glendale community call it GCC, baby

Starting point is 00:32:30 Yeah, wow home of the fighting dragons What did you study at GCC? Mass communications, but journalism and photography is what I was you know journalism and photography and mask into mass communication Umbrella and eight years of this And did you finish I I couldn't finish just kidding. I finished you finish. Yeah, okay I well when you get when you finish I don't I you get to wear a red dress and and a tassel You get to have tassel you haven't used the degree you got a degree, right?

Starting point is 00:32:59 I wasn't gonna go back to school. It was more of you know people. I think you did a lot of school I wouldn't have yeah after eight years you could be a doctor I'm practically a doctor of what do you think you're a doctor of you have a doctorate in what ticketmaster I think like I like you know I look at seating charts way too much of your of what for sure yeah wow we got to get my job at live nation or something we could just following the blue dots that's like no one I'm just Yeah, I love Steam Charts. We gotta get him a job at Live Nation or something. We could just follow the blue dots. That's like-

Starting point is 00:33:27 No, what I'm just saying, don't you think you wanna move on from doing local comedy shows and move your way up? I think you'd be a great promoter in a bigger scale. But I guess, honestly, I love the comedy store. Like, I don't wanna- It's always gonna be there. Yeah. What's your dream, Greg?

Starting point is 00:33:43 Honestly, it just keeps changing like with everyone that dies, you know? But, I don't know. My dream, I guess it's, I don't tip over today. Yeah, you won't. Stavros survived and I'm gonna survive. Yeah. Tell me what you think a dream of yours might be

Starting point is 00:34:00 or like what is a goal in life that you'd like to achieve? It was getting back to the comedy store. Well, you're there, baby. You're there now. So that's it, you're doing it. There's in life that you'd like to achieve? It was getting back to the comedy store. Well, you're there, baby. You're there now. So that's it, you're doing it. There's nothing else that you feel like you kind of want a little bit in life? Oh, like before it was doing comedy and going on the road,

Starting point is 00:34:15 I got to open for Paulie a few times, which was really fun, but then I just stopped and- You know what we gotta have this guy? He's gotta open for us. You gotta do one of our shows. Yeah, you gotta do one of our shows. You're coming to open for us. In Long Beach. I think in Long Beach.

Starting point is 00:34:28 You're gonna come down to Long Beach and open for us. They don't have tickets anymore. What do you mean, we're sold out? Yeah, you have single seats. No, you're performing. You're performing. You don't mean the backstage. You're on stage.

Starting point is 00:34:37 You're not gonna be in the audience. No. Yes. Yeah. No. Yes. Why not? You'll have to. We would love it. We would love it. No. Yes. Why not? You'll have to.

Starting point is 00:34:46 We would love it. We would love it. How about for us? How about this? Honestly, anything for you, Bobby, I wouldn't. I bought a poll. He's asked for me to do the podcast before. And I said, no, I can't. Yeah, but you're but but here's the deal. You're going to come with us to Long Beach. Oh, hey, be backstage, side stage.

Starting point is 00:35:02 You'll be with Carlos and fancy and the crew. If you decide at some point, you'd be fun to go say hi. He's not going to do it. We have to make him do it. No, you don't get to force him to do anything. If it's not too soon, oh, I wouldn't need time. Why? Because I'm more of like a Britney Spears type performer

Starting point is 00:35:22 where it's like robotic. So you want, do you want, we can get pyro and all sorts of shit for you? Do you want a snake up there knives? Let's get you a knife February 24th You're gonna be doing Long Beach with us. You're gonna at least come and hang out. It's a month away It's a month away a month away. Yeah. Yeah, well, how about this will get you transportation down there? We'll take care of you. I was gonna come anyway, and you have your own show Horrible funny when you just put yourself up there for five minutes. Yeah, why not? Oh Honestly, like I would die though, but you wouldn't I'm gonna promise you what I promise you well

Starting point is 00:35:50 He could give it his family On deck like you know it just like you know it's always worried about or they're gonna be who's gonna be on deck What if someone can't those last minute? All right, okay, but no, but I would honestly it would be an honor I want to get some scoop on so you you're promoter, right? And I'm sure there are comics that you book, right? That are nicer than others. The Goop Scoop. I want the Goop Scoop. We want the Goop Scoop, baby. Right. And we have the title card up there.

Starting point is 00:36:16 You have to name names. Let me ask you. Let me ask you a question. Are there comics kinder than others? Absolutely. OK. Are there comics that you book, right, that you don't really like that much? That's not necessarily true, because that's the problem. I only book comics I like.

Starting point is 00:36:36 Oh, that's great. Oh, that's good. Yeah, because you always book Arsenio, and you love him. Yeah. He's great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He kills.

Starting point is 00:36:43 He kills. Is there someone that you don't really like that's not that nice to you that you book and you can say it and we'll blue we're gonna Blank it out. You're not gonna. Yeah, we I say we are we look at me look at me right now Look at me right now. We would never I'm dead serious. We would never we'll be bet we'll do something We're never gonna fuck you we would never do that. We guess did you on our show you're on our show? Yeah Yeah, we would never I've never seen Jezel Neck on your shows. He has done. OK, well then, he's done it.

Starting point is 00:37:07 I think he, Jezel Neck is one of my favorite comics. And actually, he was supposed to do the show that you did January 8th. And he asked to do it. And I said, we already finished the book. I've never seen Nikki Glaser on your shows. Nikki Glaser has done the show. OK, all right, guys.

Starting point is 00:37:21 Nikki Glaser. We need to sign a petition to get Nikki Glaser back to the West Coast. No, she loves St. Louis, man. No. Okay, well. Yeah, I love Nikki Glaser. Has Eliza done your shows?

Starting point is 00:37:31 Yeah, Eliza's been regular. Nikki could move back to the West Coast. You've got a little bit of room in that place of yours, I think, right? Yeah, we could house. Yeah. You could house. House comic. So who hasn't done your show?

Starting point is 00:37:43 And it won't be a believe it that you don't like that much. There's got to gotta be some cover your mouth when you do it. We'll bleep it. We believe it I promise we I swear no, you know what what comic I don't like yeah That hasn't done your show and that has done it or hasn't done it that you know that you're like yeah, you're not gonna bleep it I swear why would we fuck you look at me? That's my producer We were not gonna fuck you I promise you would never tough to yeah, we won't fuck you. Look at me. That's my producer. Okay, right the producer. We were not gonna fuck you. I promise you would never Stuff too. Yeah, we won't fuck you. Oh, yeah, cover your mouth if you say it. I'm not a big friend Yeah, okay, he's not gonna do it anyway. No That's the only one

Starting point is 00:38:16 Have you heard? No, he won't risk. I had him when we were in the belly room, but he's not responding, you know as far as you know You have a number. No All right, say who's been the meanest you who's been the rudest or the most disrespectful or just kind of not responding, you know, as far as, you know... You have a number. No. All right, say who's been the meanest to you, who's been the rudest or the most disrespectful, or just kind of not nice to you. I guess you're gonna bleep. Yes. Yeah, we promise.

Starting point is 00:38:32 Well, I guess... ...has different... It was hard to work with him. Yeah, yeah. That's a bummer. And that's... But it's also not a surprise. No. But if he's on a little later, then, you know,

Starting point is 00:38:44 and even if it's natural causes. And, and he's probably a type of guy that doesn't say hi to you and talk to you. Yeah, it was, it was hard because like the first time, like the first time I, and the only like time I really messed up was when I was working my, a job before I had before this was a marketing operations project specialist. Too many words. Yeah. It was used to be marketing, production a marketing operations project specialist too many words

Starting point is 00:39:05 Yeah, it was used to be marketing production traffic. It was so many words. What was this for a Healthcare company. So what were you doing for them? Traffic production project coordinator? What are you doing? We know the title? What were you when you showed up and you clocked it. What the fuck did you do? I get breakfast. That's fucking it. The cafe downstairs. All right, you got breakfast for people. And how long did you do?

Starting point is 00:39:33 No, no, no, no, for me. And then I go back up. And then I worked on this project management tool system. You did programming. I wouldn't say that, because I can't do that. So what did you do? It was like programming for dummies. You literally, instead of building something crazy, you just click and drag and then all of a sudden the app has that tool. Okay, cool. Yeah, okay. You were building

Starting point is 00:39:56 something on the internet. Morgan Morgan! Hey, hey, hey, it's 2024 and let's talk about something important. If you get injured by a person, place or thing, you deserve to get paid. And also we don't want that to happen, but if it does, I'm telling you right now, you got to use Morgan and Morgan. I'll tell you why. Morgan and Morgan is America's largest injury law firm. They have over 100 offices nationwide and more than a thousand lawyers. Just check this out.

Starting point is 00:40:21 I know you've seen Morgan and Morgan either on a billboard or a commercial or here with us on Bad Friends. They are legit with over $20 billion recovered for over $500,000 clients. Morgan & Morgan has a proven track record fighting to get you full and fair compensation. I've been in an accident recently I've talked about. I also got one in college and I didn't know what to do or where to turn. I wish I knew about Morgan & Morgan. It's very simple.

Starting point is 00:40:42 All you have to do is get on the interweb, click forthepeople.com slash badfriends, and you're going to get some help from Morgan and Morgan to get you fair compensation. If you're ever injured, guys, you can check out Morgan and Morgan. Their fee is free unless they win. For more information, go to forthepeople.com slash badfriends or dial poundlaw, pound529 from your cell phone. That's for the people. F-O-R, the people.com slash badfriends

Starting point is 00:41:05 or poundlaw, pound five, two, nine, from your cell phone is a paid advertisement. What would be your dream job now? If I said, what is your dream job, Greg? Are you doing it? Is it booking or not? I love doing this. Honestly, I stopped dreaming, but maybe I have to start again.

Starting point is 00:41:22 You don't have to dream, but I'm saying, what would be a job that you go, you know what would be really fun to do I would enjoy blank a festival booker like I love that's what I need to get him to do live nation Coach Ellen needs help like you know you be great at that Coach Ellen needs help why you think the lineups are not good Oh my god, they're bad. I'm looking for any excuse to go You know eat two beddibles and roll around in the desert. But like it's right not happening Okay, let me let me I'll throw some names out and you

Starting point is 00:41:49 There's if you would book it see if you would book it. I'll bet this Lana Del Rey great The last album was great. This is a this is a she's headlining first night. You into it No, because have you seen her perform? Is she a bad performer? He's a bad performer He knows how about peace about a piece of Paloma pluma, you know Is she a bad performer? He's a bad performer. Oh. And he knows. How about Peso Paluma? Pluma. You know, he looks like more friendly and more dangerous than Bad Bunny at the same time. Okay, how about Lil Uzi Vert?

Starting point is 00:42:13 You like Lil Uzi? I don't know that one. Yeah. Okay, let's say Andrew and I were like, we're managers and we manage a bunch of bands and we're calling you and you're booking Coachella. Uh-huh. All right. You get Night 2, Greg. Who you got for us? Hey. Uh-huh, right you get night to Greg

Starting point is 00:42:25 Yeah, you got for us. Hey, so no we're pitching him. Oh, hey goop. We're manager. Oh, sorry about that. Hey goop. It's us Hey, goop. It's Santino and Bob. What's happening? Hi, WME or UTA? No, we're just Santino League Santino League manager. Oh, Santino. Hello. Hi Yeah, hey goop. So we got some bands for you If we're booking night to your good night to took can we throw you some bands? Yeah? I say yes or no. So we got limp limp the limster limp biscuit. Oh I you can't do it like that because because there are clients Right, so you got to come up with some excuse

Starting point is 00:43:03 We're happy to be smart about I would contact Carlos. He's booking Sunday and he's doing lots of throwbacks Okay, cool. Okay. So our stuff knows good. By the way good deflection. Very good. We can't take it on Saturday Okay, so goop. We've got a couple of throwback stuff, but I guess we'll give that to Carlos So you only want new age stuff right now, right? Oh no Adele. Oh Adele Yes, welcome. You like how you got Adele. Oh, Adele. Yes, welcome. You like her? Oh, you want Adele?

Starting point is 00:43:28 Oh, yeah. She headline? Oh, she could have the whole thing. Yeah, she'll. OK, good. We don't manager. We don't anymore. She dropped.

Starting point is 00:43:36 We were just testing. OK. Yeah, we don't manager. We have Selena Gomez. She's like to perform. What do you think? OK. You're not into this?

Starting point is 00:43:43 Headliner or probably second or what? Second. Oh, second. Yeah. Second and the night or second to last? No, a second to last and second in the lineup. Okay, good. That's two different things. But I totally don't know what I'm trying to say. Second to last in the night. So, let's put her, we got Selena Gomez. She's gonna come sing. Yeah, yeah, wonderful. Um, we've got Neil Diamond, yeah, I don't know Neil Diamond He already has a America Anna John the bonnet down the dun dun a coming to America

Starting point is 00:44:19 Don't you know no your parents and then sing that when they came Sweet Caroline You know no no your parents and then sing that when they came I think Lee song that's Leah Michelle and she's welcome. She's welcome. All right, so no, Daniel. No, even Sunday Yeah, Carlos is Carlos is a fuck job. Give me your give me your ideal line up at a festival. Yeah one night. Just give me one night Don't look at that. Don't look at that get that on horse for acts for acts five Opener go This is like so hard like I would have to get back to you it now. No, you do it now Miley's definitely there or some Miley one. We don't know yet. Oh the arrangement by Miley. I hope a killer order Miley's definitely there. Or some Miley won. We don't know yet the arrangement, but Miley.

Starting point is 00:45:05 No particular order. Miley. Yeah. And the Killers are a great festival act, so. Killers. Killers. Shit. You know, shit.

Starting point is 00:45:19 I have to. Who's on your Spotify playlist right now? Who's on your most listened? No. Oh, Kesha. Kesha's a good time. Okay Kesha, three, okay good. When you say good time though. What does that mean? What does that mean?

Starting point is 00:45:35 Just, you know, have a few drinks and you know. So you'd like to have a few drinks and you like to have a little bit of Eddie's. Do you do other ingestibles? No, because once I have an addictive personality, obviously, yeah, and so I have to give you- Have you done acid? No.

Starting point is 00:45:52 Molly? No. No Molly. I would like, I would love to, but I know that would be last. Weed. Have you ever smoked? Oh yeah, you do weed. Yeah, yeah, but I suck at it.

Starting point is 00:46:02 I suck at it, yeah. Any nosebears? Oh, no. Oh. I thought I had something in my nose. No, I, you do. Yeah. Yeah. But I suck at it. Hey, suck at it. Yeah. Any nosebears? Oh. No. I thought I had something in my nose. No, I'm just cocaine. You have cocaine? Never done cocaine. No. Yeah. I'm open to it. But I know that you're hoping to do it.

Starting point is 00:46:14 But I wouldn't. Your heart would explode. Yeah. I won't make it. I'm gonna talk to her. All right. So how about this? This that's your ultimate kind of lineup would be Miley, Killers. What did we say? Kesha.

Starting point is 00:46:29 Kesha. That's pretty good. It's a good lineup. You think you could facilitate a festival if you could reach these people's managers? You could get something together? Like you could be the new Firefest. I love Firefest. Did you go to Firefest?

Starting point is 00:46:41 I have an actual wristband from Firefest, an artist band. So you you went to firefest you got fed the bologna sandwiches and all that stuff No I was a fan afterwards So I bought all the merches a merchandise that like we're in crates in the ocean and like I bought a artist wristband and do We do the I was early follow we come up with a completing the goop of fast. I think we should do goop We don't do a fucking island. Where do we do it on? Huh, we don't do it on an island like a tall or a Peninsula we'll do Google we don't do a fucking island. Where do we do it on? Yeah, huh? We don't do it on an island No, no, no like a toll or a peninsula. We'll do it in a peninsula

Starting point is 00:47:10 Hotel is nice what we're not gonna do it at the hotel. Yeah, what hotel the peninsula? Yeah A mountain top they do the one on a mountain top. We should Connie already did that All right, so where do the Goop Fest? Where does Goop Fest take place? Antarctica that right so we're gonna do the Goopfest where does Goopfest take place Antarctica Frito lays factory. Okay at the Chippies at the Chippy factory. Okay good So we'll get we'll get a hold of Frito like guys reach out to Frito lay see if we can do the Goopfest at presented by Frito Lay follow up with Andreas with Carlos Carlos Carlos gonna be doing that. We're gonna be at the Frito lay factory Where is what town is that in it's in Perry Plant, Georgia. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:47:45 So if you live anywhere near there, just know Goopfest has come to you in the next couple of years at the Frito-Lay Perry Plant factory. Now let's get images of what this is gonna look like because we just wanna map it out a little bit of the physical plant. No, no, just go to images baby boy.

Starting point is 00:47:57 Yeah, let's go to images baby boy. Let's see what they look like. Let's see what they're, so this is- Oh, beautiful. That's where Goopfest is gonna be taking place. It seems so hot. That's no good,fest is gonna be taking place. Yeah, yeah, it seems so hot. That's no different. Oh yeah, Georgia is hot.

Starting point is 00:48:08 Look at that. Yeah, but we'll do it in the winter. We'll do it in the fall. Oh, we can't do it in Georgia because they allow guns. We can't- Whoa, wait, stop. Yeah, that's they stop- No, wait, wait, wait, wait, stop.

Starting point is 00:48:18 What's up with guns? They allow them in Georgia and festivals. I know, but you don't like them. Oh, it's so scary. Guns. You press the button and you kind of get... You've never held one. Trick or...

Starting point is 00:48:29 I used one of those things that cut wood ones and I like shook to... Hold on, hold on. Cut wood gun? No, I guess two different things. Anything with power scares me. Like a power tool, you're right. Yeah, I used a table slicer.

Starting point is 00:48:43 Oh man. A table saw. Yeah, I think my home, my teacher was like, let's get him away from this. He's going to cry. So you don't like things that cause harm? I don't like things that cause harm, but also, orber. Things that like shake.

Starting point is 00:48:55 Things that shake. Yeah. Or vibrate. Yeah. What does that mean? What do you? I mean, it was just, you know. You don't like any sort of vibration or shaking?

Starting point is 00:49:04 Yeah, I, yeah. It just. You don't have tools at home. No, I have a brother He's a tool. Oh, no, he has to yes to all got it. Yeah Wow, so at night when you go to sleep, what time are you going to bed? I go to bed at like eight and then I wake up at like 11 And then I eat melatonin gummies and then I go to sleep for another hour and then I wake up again. You have sleep apnea. I Is that when you like make weird noises? Yeah sure It's when you can't really breathe in your sleep. No, I'm good at that like but I'm not good at like staying asleep But it's potentially serious though sleep apnea. What do you think we could get you a machine?

Starting point is 00:49:43 Can the bad friends buy you a machine maybe get you through the night? I want to get you through the night We need one of those. No, that's the Batman movie one. That's not pain No, that's no you do know that if you don't get any good sleep at all It has it has neurodegenerative properties You could start losing your mind if you don't get any sleep I get too excited to sleep sometimes, but we got to get you to sleep dude. Yeah sleeping three hours a night That's fucking terrible. That's all you sleep is three hours?

Starting point is 00:50:07 Some days it's better. Like, just like there's so many dogs on TikTok that need watching. Yeah, I agree with that. Yeah, we need to take you to Tulum over the summer. Yeah. We need to go on a beach. No, I did that.

Starting point is 00:50:18 No, you haven't. Not with us. I did. I spent 10 nights in Cancun and it felt like I died and I was in purgatory. I know, but my point is not with us. Cancun's not fucking Tulum. I need entertainment, but I guess you're there.

Starting point is 00:50:30 No, we're the entertainer. So when you go on vacation, you went solo? I always go solo. It's not all the way. Have you ever been on vacation with family or friends or anybody? Well, last, I don't like, yes, yes. My idea of a vacation is I book like you know

Starting point is 00:50:48 nine to twelve nights in New York City and then I see like 16 to 18 shows all your mother those Do you know a show a night sometimes for solo? Yeah, you've seen Wicked 24 times and I stopped counting Wow, yeah, Book of Mormon I love Book of Mormon. How many times you see that I've seen it You know over ten times But also the best part about Book of Mormon is watching the audience watch Book of Mormon God dude, I I never seen it. Have you it's fucking incredible. First of all, Book of Mormon. Yes, it's amazing

Starting point is 00:51:20 Yeah, second second to this. I saw Lion King. You're the most interesting motherfucker. I've ever met in my entire No, dude, I've 24 times a wicked you can keep going. Yeah, but you don't understand why that's why that I mean you must You're in love with it. No, it's you probably sing with it. Do you sing along? I'm an emotional person and like sometimes you could hear the emotion in these women's voices and they all have different riffs Yeah, so I follow the riffs. I see. You love performance. You truly love performance.

Starting point is 00:51:49 Yeah. That's why you're saying about musicians that you don't like is because they put on a bad show. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you don't you don't have any patience if they kind of mail it in quote unquote. You're like a tight show. I love a tight set list. Yes. Yeah, a set list is like so important.

Starting point is 00:52:05 Right. So what have you seen the most on Broadway? Wicked? Uh, pro, I see a lot, a lot. Like some of my, oh, I was really into the one that was out about the Filipino dictator, Here Lies Love. How many times you see that? That one, I flew back Thanksgiving weekend because it was closing.

Starting point is 00:52:25 So before I buried my father, I had to go bury the show because and say goodbye to that as well. That's right. But the whole venue is like a little nightclub. You know, you take your candies and then, you know, you know, and you have, they don't let you have drinks because you could spill. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:52:41 But like the whole place is like a dance floor and like different VIP sections and the show happens all over. It's about Emilda Marcos. Yeah, we know. It was so awesome. It's one of those shows where you're sitting there and there are actors all around you. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:52:57 Wow. Yeah, it's interactive. Interactive. Well, the Lion King I did. Well, yeah, there's a giraffe that walks. Yeah, there's a giraffe that walks. I did that. Like a wedding. You scared the shit out of me, yeah, there's a giraffe that walks down the aisle. Yeah, there's a giraffe that walks down the aisle. Like a wedding.

Starting point is 00:53:05 You scared the shit out of me, dude. There's a company called Sleep No More. Do you know Sleep No More? Yeah. Have you seen a Sleep No More? I've been there. Which one have you seen? Which one?

Starting point is 00:53:15 I've seen, I love the McKittrick Hotel. They put on, I'll see anything the McKittrick Hotel does. Do you know what this is? No. Sleep No More is incredible. It's a theater company that basically puts on live interactive plays. Eyes wide shut. You are a part, no, no, they're not all the same. It's a theater company that basically puts on live interactive plays. Eyes wide shut.

Starting point is 00:53:26 You are a part, no, no, they're not all the same. There's a bunch of different stories. Look at the mask. You wear the mask as a viewer. And you literally walk around from room to room while the play goes on in front of you. We went to London, we went to see one called The Drowned Man. Did you ever see Drowned Man?

Starting point is 00:53:37 I didn't see The Drowned Man. Oh my fucking god. Dude, you literally moved through a factory. In London it was in Shortich, I think it was. New York has it permanently. New York has it permanently now. Why? It's in New York, sleep no more as a...

Starting point is 00:53:48 All that, yeah, yeah. And you go floor to floor, Bob. Yeah. And you pick up the play in pieces where it's happening. Like this, people are viewing the play while it's taking place. They could move, they could leave the scene whenever they want, go to another scene. You don't have to stay in one spot. Wow.

Starting point is 00:54:02 It's incredible. But how do you follow along? You can follow one actor, You can follow a group. If I want to see the whole movie, what happens? You stay for an hour or two and you get a loop. You start to loop. But you might get the end of the fucking show in the beginning. Every time you go, you'll see something different.

Starting point is 00:54:14 Pretty rarely, because there is no beginning and end, quote, unquote. It's a big loop, so you don't really know what part of the loop you're in. The story is continually growing and changing, so you could hypothetically start in the middle, and the second middle could be the end to you. It's closing, they keep extending it, but it's closing now March 31st. I'm gonna see it the last Thursday of March. I highly recommend it.

Starting point is 00:54:35 In LA, you mean? No, in New York. I'm planning my next New York trip. It's one of the greatest things I think I've ever seen live. Yeah, I'm gonna watch it then. In my life. And also- Can we go together or?

Starting point is 00:54:43 Yeah. I would love to go with you. They separate people, though. And and you have you they do if you yeah if you open an elevator door They let the one walk out then they close the elevator door So if you if you and I go like I went with my wife if they separated us on purpose They don't wait they usually want you to be alone and you can get touched and kissed and hugged and pulled into room Did you get touched? Yeah, I've gone like a lot of times and like, you know, sometimes they just drag you and then sometimes they just like do some weird stuff.

Starting point is 00:55:08 You know? I've been kissed. Yeah? I got kissed. On your mask? Well, she moved my mask and she like kissed my cheek and then kissed right by my lip. She must have known you were.

Starting point is 00:55:16 Did you get hurt? No. Huh? A little hard. Did you get a little hard? Did I get a little hard, Greg? As long as it doesn't last more than 24 hours, it's good. Have you had a boner for 24 hours one time?

Starting point is 00:55:29 No, but if I do, I know what to do. What do you do? I think then I have to go to the... Wake up or I'm gonna call 911. Yeah. Or go to sleep or I'm gonna call 911. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right.

Starting point is 00:55:39 Go to sleep or I'm calling 911. Yeah. Wow. So you've had a house full of unfortunate death and you're you're you're now Making your way into the world as a single man Who's owning his own business? So you've succeeded tremendously because the show is extremely successful. You get awesome comics. It's always sold out So you've achieved a lot and you amongst heartbreak pays

Starting point is 00:56:01 The most he pays good money for the yes. He's fair the most. He pays good money for the, yes, he's fair. You pay the most. He's fair. He's fair and true and just. But you get a nice chunk, huh? Yeah. That's, I have to pay for Adele. Adele needs a lot of money. So how much money do you think you spend a month on shows?

Starting point is 00:56:18 Is it all your checks? I'm smart with my money, but the things, after every horribly funny, I go and I don't come back until the next horribly funny. Usually. Where would you go? To New York? Like, see my next thing?

Starting point is 00:56:30 I was just in Las Vegas for New Years and I saw Post Malone, Christina Aguilera, Demi Lovato and- Bunch of bangers. Kelly Clarkson. In one show? No, four different shows. Sometimes, you just have to like leave and go to the next one a little oh, I see but after this horribly funny

Starting point is 00:56:48 I'm going to Las Vegas again. I'm not a big fan of his but like, you know at this point I'll see anything with that within reason, but I'm gonna see Bruno Mars Adele There has to be other people sure is in Vegas. Have you seen us sure? I haven't seen Usher. You have no, no, you don't. Bruno Mars is a great entertainer. Yeah, he is a great entertainer. But yeah, just. So every dime you make goes to live entertainment. It goes right back into entertainment.

Starting point is 00:57:15 And I love festivals. I love VIP experiences at festivals. Like treat me well in a parking lot. You know, that's what, you know. I don't even understand what that means. It's like all these festivals are like basically in a parking lot, you know, that's what, you know. I don't even understand what that means. It's like all these festivals are like basically in a parking lot and they like charge thousands of dollars. Dude, imagine him in Woodstock when it went wrong. I would be calling my mom.

Starting point is 00:57:35 I know. There's no water. No water. Right, right? No water. You're trapped. You people get trampled to death. I actually had friends call and ask if I was at Fire Festival like because. Really? Yeah. But no, I wasn't like the lineup wasn't good. I actually had friends call and ask if I was at Fire Festival, like because, yeah. Really?

Starting point is 00:57:45 But no, I wasn't. Like the lineup wasn't good, or I would have been. Okay, here you go. You're at Firefest. Okay. You're trapped. No. It is kind of a deserted island at this point.

Starting point is 00:57:56 What is your final meal gonna be? If they say, Greg, we're gonna have to, we can't get you out of here. We're gonna give you your final meal. What's your final meal? I thought about it. Like even if I knew I was gonna die, I wouldn't go back to eating meat

Starting point is 00:58:07 just because of being kind. That's your moral, that's your moral. But it's like also it's not religious, so it's not weird, but like Miley Cyrus has kind of been, is kind of like a religion. She's the fucking best. So tell me what your final meal would be. Probably all the chips.

Starting point is 00:58:24 What do we talk. What flavors? Like what's your, what's your favorite? I love barbecue. I love all the Doritos families really. Are we talking spicy nacho? Spicy nacho, yeah. And then the half the fun is afterwards when you're getting it off your fingers

Starting point is 00:58:39 and then you fall asleep. So when you lick your fingers is your favorite. So your last meal would just be chips. Do you think the Mexican ones where this is limon limon You know what of those what are they called? Takis, I don't know yeah Most of them are stale like you know, I like them. They're hard to find I don't go grocery shopping outside Like I don't do anything. Yeah, I just get everything delivered

Starting point is 00:59:00 But like they rarely have them and they finally have them and it was stale And then I got them once in Las Vegas and it was stale there, too Where do you stay in Las Vegas? I like to stay somewhere different every night And like wait a minute wait a minute if you're there for how many days three four days last time I was supposed to be there for seven nights, but one of the nights I decided to book a two-floor suite And then I forgot how much money are you making? And then I kind of fell down a spiral staircase, but it was glamorous.

Starting point is 00:59:30 Like, you know, and then I was just sitting down and going looking up and like, it's funny to have a two floor suite and not be able to go upstairs. Sure, wow. So you change hotels every night? Yeah. Why would you do that to yourself?

Starting point is 00:59:42 Because I'm a very a person who I Guess what's that word? It's nomadic restless restless. I guess close. No, it's it's like when Nostalgic and I have different memories in different places And you know, it's a good way to like, you know experience different things And it's also a way to get yourself back into a different place you were in a different time in your life. Nostalgic. Yeah, we have. How many? How many horribly funny is due to a month? Two. Only two a month. Only two shows. Two shows. There were some months where they were trying to get me to double up. You don't double up. And I did some some months worked. And

Starting point is 01:00:23 sometimes it doesn't. But like a 10 30 p.m. show on a Monday, right? I'm trying to do the math, you know Okay, I charge more than other promoters. I know I'm just seeing how much you make so I get yeah, so that's yeah That's a lot. Yeah, yeah, but but yeah, it goes it goes back to the community. Just yeah entertainment entertainment That's great live entertainment. Yeah, what part of the city do you live in? Los Belles. Sorry? Los Belles? Los Files.

Starting point is 01:00:49 Oh, Los Files, Los Belles. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I really didn't know what you're saying. Oh, Los Belles. Yeah. Not Belles. No, that's no. Say Los Files.

Starting point is 01:00:58 Los. Los Files. Los Feliz. Los Feliz. Los Feliz. I went to Los Feliz Elementary School, but it's always been Los Feliz. Wait, you're fromiz elementary school, but it's always been lost wait. You're from there I I that's I was bullied there. You were bullied there. Yeah, who bullied you there?

Starting point is 01:01:12 Everywhere in Armenian school was the worst. Well, let me tell you something all these cocksuckers that bullied you all these fucking pieces of shit That thought they were better than you. Where are they and look at you now? Successful business owner has been the cutest kid imaginable. Actually, I'll show you, I'll send you a picture. There's a picture of me, like kind of dressed the same with a microphone, like kind of the same as I would do, like, you know, if you drank sin, just singing. But I'll send you a picture for fun.

Starting point is 01:01:39 So you're telling me you went to elementary school there, then where was high school? John Marshall High School? John Marshall, right on. Yeah, and I was not in the yearbook and I didn't go to prom because Avril Lavigne had concerts. Well, that's a good reason to skip. Both, oh, so you've always been like this.

Starting point is 01:01:54 Yeah, wow. What's the first show you've ever seen, Greg? So my first big show was Wengo Tango, but my first solo artist was Nelly Furtado at the Wiltern Theater. The Berlin, the Spotlight Court. Was it cosmic? It was the, there were bubbles too.

Starting point is 01:02:11 There was. Yeah. Yeah, there were bubbles. You love bubbles. I love, well, I love lights. I can tell. I love like lots of lights. Lights show, big lights.

Starting point is 01:02:20 I don't like EDM. You take bubble baths? No, I don't. It's hard to get this in and out of things. Oh you take showers on yeah, okay What do you mean? It's hard to get this in and out of things. It's a lot like you know like literally this chair deserves an award like Bubbles are supposed to be a lot of legs if you guys are I want to go you might be sitting on a bubble ball with you Would you go to a spa with me?

Starting point is 01:02:43 Korean spa Yes, why? You might be sitting in a bubble with you. Would you go to a spa with me? Korean spa. Yes. Why? I'm not going to look at your dick. I know. What? Wait, wait, wait.

Starting point is 01:02:54 No. I won't look at your dick. OK. OK. But can we go to We Spa? After a horribly funny. You and I will get in my car. We go to We Spa.

Starting point is 01:03:03 We go to the men. I'm not being real. With my t-shirt on. Like, no, no, no. You can keep your t-shirt on. You can to, we spa. We go to the, I'm not being real. I just went with my T-shirt on. Like, no, no, no. You can keep your T-shirt on. You can keep what I need. That ain't that, no. When we get-

Starting point is 01:03:10 Yes, he can. He can keep whatever he fucking wants. When we go, you gotta get naked, put your shit in the fucking locker, and then you can put it on. He doesn't want to get naked. Yeah, I was like, the bully, just kidding. You think I'm being-

Starting point is 01:03:19 No, not you, not you. Yeah. You can look at mine. Okay. I guarantee you yours is bigger than Bobby's. Hey. Well, let's- What, what, what, am I out of bounds?

Starting point is 01:03:30 We can do a comparison. It's something to consider. Consider, hey. Good job, consider. Let's say like that, we'll consider going to the spot. But I think then we go upstairs and we'll do the fucking clay room. Clay room?

Starting point is 01:03:44 Yeah, we lay in the clay Right, and we'll have we'll be fully clothed and we can reminisce Don't you want to reminisce with me? I like reminiscing Like somewhere else. Yeah. Yeah, we can do wherever you want. Okay. Where's your favorite restaurant to go to? Could we take you out for a nice dinner? I Need to take you guys out to a no, no, no, no, where would you like us to take you? We can go to hope have you been to hope I haven't been to hope but that's a street in downtown, right? Yeah I mean there's a restaurant right that it's called H. Oh

Starting point is 01:04:13 I hop Yeah, right there healthy organic positive eating right? Oh that sounds like it's a vegetarian place and I heard it's great Positive eating right? Oh, that sounds like it's a vegetarian place and I heard it's great Do you eat at vegetarian restaurants? No, I wouldn't eat at a vegan restaurant Which is crazy like even though like, you know, I don't have much options to begin with but um, you know Yeah, yeah, we'll get you out to somewhere Now seriously, I need to take you guys. No, but if you guys are down February 5th It's Eliza Margaret show Esther Rick Glassman can't have two Margaret shows on one show. Yeah It's too hard to Koreans. Oh

Starting point is 01:04:55 No, yeah one at a time. That's what they say Margaret dude Margaret the other night. She's the fucking best I love her and she had her dog, right and she goes hold this when I go on stage And so I'm literally you know me sitting there with the dog and it was trembling. It's the sweetest dog I know it doesn't know me. Yeah, but it also is a little scared It like yeah, yeah, it does lick and she did extra time I felt like so I was holding this dog and I didn't want any because other people walked up to me and went You want me to hold it? I go no, I can't it's a marvelous dog Marcus dog she asked me what time was it that's how I do I protect that dog with

Starting point is 01:05:28 my life when he's on I know me too do you hold it you know I at first yeah but if it's not ongoing anywhere I like you know I'm just like you know more like playing what's its name Lush Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lusha Lush, Luchia? Yeah, Luchia. Luchia. Yeah, that one. That's what Luchia. Yeah, I said it over here.

Starting point is 01:05:49 Oh, you did it? But then Luchia turned to me and kind of looked at my face and it went like, mom? Like she thought I was, and then I kissed her in the mouth. The dog. And then the dog thought I was Margaret. Well.

Starting point is 01:06:04 The same face. Same face. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so Greg, it's been more than a pleasure to have you on the show. Thank you. I mean it, you're. Would you do it again?

Starting point is 01:06:14 Yeah. We'd like to have you back more often. Would you do it again? I think the fans are gonna love you. You're such a lovable human being. But next time, you know, this was your introduction. Okay. Introduction. Introduction. The next time you won know, this was your introduction. Okay, introduction.

Starting point is 01:06:25 Introduction. The next time, you won't talk so much. We will just be a sidekick. Yes. But with Jesse. Yes. Jesse does. Right?

Starting point is 01:06:33 So you could just interject. We'll sometimes throw it to you. So it wouldn't be as much pressure. Okay. Right? They just feel like a lot of pressure? It was actually pretty awesome. It was awesome.

Starting point is 01:06:42 Yeah, yeah. But I was so nervous. But did we make you feel comfortable? Absolutely. Wonderful. I thought you did great. Yeah, I think, you know, the old me would have really, like, you know, been moving more.

Starting point is 01:06:54 Well, I'm glad we got you. So why don't you sign off to the fans there in your camera? Go ahead and tell them, tell them, tell them. Say what you need to say. Oh, no. This one right here. Thank you for being a bad friend. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:07:09 Yeah. That's great. Yeah. Thank you for being a bad friend. That's great. Do it again. Thank you for being a bad friend. Oh, I think I did too many A's.

Starting point is 01:07:18 That's fine. That's fine. Thank you for being a bad friend. Yeah. Woo. I think he killed his family. You think he killed his family? He said he doesn't like, I didn't want to ask him because I didn't want to have a heart attack, but he said that he doesn't like anyone breathing in his house.

Starting point is 01:07:36 He likes to be alone in a big place. Can you imagine he was holding his aunt and he was like, hey, auntie. Crazy. Yeah, it's crazy. Died in his arms. That's awful. And you know what, dude? That's awful. What are you laughing at that for, man? Carlos, you're a piece of shit, man. Carlos, are you still sober right now?

Starting point is 01:07:58 Yes, I am. How's it been going? 10 days. 10 days clean right now. Yeah, you look great. You look bright-eyed. Thank you. I appreciate that. You look bright. I'd thank you. Yeah, you look you look You look prepared to take on this trip that we're taking this week. Oh, yeah, you're gonna. Are you going? Yeah? I'm going. Okay. No, and I'm not drinking. I have no plans to drink but you are coming. Yeah, it's gonna be great You were super nice to my friends it or not which ones oh My the friends the crew that yeah, yeah

Starting point is 01:08:23 They were such big fans and they were so nervous to meet you. Oh, they, oh, the friends, the females. The crew that you had? Yeah. They were such big fans, and they were so nervous to meet you. Oh, they were so nice. Yeah, yeah. And then they were like, you were so kind. Well, my pleasure always. You're storming around the castle, the comedy store, looking like a king there. You had a harem of women. Just friends.

Starting point is 01:08:37 Yeah, but it was a harem of young women friends. Meanwhile, the rest of the people... Young, 30s, something, come on. Young ladies, I'm not saying it inappropriately. I'm saying they're young ladies. 30s. I'm making it weird. Yeah. Why did you make it weird? I'm not making it weird. I love that show. 30s. Not a one of them was 30. They were all 27. So why are you making it worse? By the way, when Greg kept saying 27, yeah, what are we talking?

Starting point is 01:09:05 My guess? 30 something? He could be 60, I don't know. I think he's in his late 30s. Mid 30s, I think. Mid 30s. I think 35, 34, 33. I didn't want to push it, right?

Starting point is 01:09:19 But it's like, when I told Andrew a couple of weeks ago that Greg Craig Greg or Greg it's Greg Greg g r a i g yeah, Greg Greg Greg in you told me his name was Craig I've been calling him Craig no, it's Greg Greg. Okay. Yeah, and you know, but he told Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!

Starting point is 01:09:50 Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!

Starting point is 01:09:58 Woo! Woo! Woo!

Bad Friends - Taste Our Rainbow

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.