Bad Friends - The British Are Coming w/ Dax Flame

Episode Date: July 1, 2024

Get MORE Bad Friends at our Patreon!! https://www.patreon.com/badfriends Thank you to our Sponsors: ZocDoc, Shopify & Acorns • ZocDoc: Find and book top rated doctors at https://www.zocdoc.com/badfr...iends • Shopify: Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at https://www.shopify.com/badfriends • Acorns: Start investing in your future today at https://www.acorns.com/badfriends YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com 0:00 Dax's Kung-Fu Master 5:30 Movie Critic 14:00 Hulk Transformation 15:40 The British are Coming 25:30 McKone's Crush 30:55 Dax Flame's Club 40:00 Midnight Snacks 46:30 Dax Flame's NEW Flame 1:05:15 Bobby Lee's Doppelganger 1:07:30 Demons More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Juicy Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jetskijohnson/?hl=en More Fancy SOS VHS: https://www.youtube.com/@SOSVHS Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fancyb.1 More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: 7EQUIS https://www.7equis.com/Podcast Producer: Andrés Rosende This episode contains paid promotion. #bobbylee #andrewsantino #badfriends #sponsored #ads Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:21 The app will suggest some on sale. To get started, just open the app. It's as easy as that. See the PC Optimum app for details. Hey, Bad Friends fans. I'm coming to see you in the fall. I'm doing my tour for my new hour. It's called the Freeze Peach Tour. Come see me. I'm going to be in Indianapolis, Charlotte, Iowa, Omaha, Kansas City, Cleveland, St. Louis, Grand Rapids, Detroit, Chicago, Durham, Atlanta, Charleston, Philly, New York, Phoenix, San Francisco, Boston, and Minneapolis. I'm all over the place.
Starting point is 00:00:55 Go to AndrewSantino.com for those tickets. AndrewSantino.com. You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? A white dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. You two are something. We're bad friends.
Starting point is 00:01:03 You two are bad friends. You two are bad friends. You two are bad friends. You two are And an Asian dude. Woo-hoo! You two are disgusting. Woo-hoo! Oh, you two are something. We're bad friends. Yee-hoo! Hey, man, real good to be here. Down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down,
Starting point is 00:01:16 down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down. That's me eating a dog. That was our barbecue. Yeah, that's our Fourth of July barbecue. That's a dog on the grill. I just ate eight of them. Well, happy 4th of July. Dude, I want to name a baby Bucky.
Starting point is 00:01:30 I want to name another baby Jiminy, like Jiminy Cricket, but Jiminy. We got it, yeah. Yeah, yeah, I want to name another baby, Lunk. Loke? Lunk. L-U-N-K?
Starting point is 00:01:43 Yeah, I do. All right. Yeah, Lunk. What else, manunk. L-U-N-K? Yeah, I do. All right. Yeah, Lunk. What else, man? What else can I do? And also I want my last name to be McPherson. Lunk McPherson. That's right, baby.
Starting point is 00:01:53 Bucky. What's up, man? Bucky, Jiminy. Jiminy? Jiminy, dude, like the cricket. And Lunk McPherson. Lunk McPherson, man. Is that your new name? No, I can be Lunk right now, bro.
Starting point is 00:02:03 You're Mr. McPherson. What's your name right now? A Lunk is an is an awkward heavy or stupid person. You are that's right That's right. I'm Lunk sure yes, dude. I'm Lunk sure yes right now, man I'm looking it out right now dog. That would be your if you were a Greek philosopher, you'd be Lunk sure yes If you're a Greek mythological character speaking of mythological characters logical characters Dax Dax I never thought I would ever see you again flame is back I really never the last time I saw was oh, that's the last time I see that guy, right? Speaking of- Mythological characters. Mythological characters. Dax. Dax. I never thought I would ever see you again. Flame is back.
Starting point is 00:02:27 I really never, the last time I saw you I was like, oh, that's the last time I see that guy. Right. I'm happy to see you again. Yeah. What's my name again? Bobby. That's right.
Starting point is 00:02:36 My name? Andrew. Got it? Very good. What are you holding there, bud? A gun. What is that for? Oh, is that for me as a gift?
Starting point is 00:02:44 Yeah. Go ahead and throw it at me. Go ahead and throw it on the table there. Yeah. Oh my, that's not good news. Pretty dangerous. Yeah. That was pretty dangerous. Sorry. Have you ever handled a gun before, Dax?
Starting point is 00:02:54 Yes, my friend took me to a shooting range once. Oh. Go on. And I shot the guns and yeah. America? I feel like you've been to the ones where they have real human targets You know those ranges man hunger games yeah, yeah the hunger game range dude. Oh, yeah I mean if you were to shoot somebody not that you would please don't please don't ever But what kind of person you think you should?
Starting point is 00:03:21 Someone who deserves it. I would never do it, but if it was. Yeah, well, like what would I have to do to deserve it? Yeah. Let's not go there. Okay, that's fine. Well, I mean, you know, self-defense, if you came at him with a gun, he'd probably want to shoot you.
Starting point is 00:03:36 You think so? Yeah, or just try to knock it out of your hands or something. You would knock it out of my hands, my gun. I would try to do that before anything else. I have a guess, and I could be wrong, but I feel like you might have done, when you were young, karate or taekwondo.
Starting point is 00:03:52 Really briefly. Wait, wait. I knew it in my phone. No, well, let's guess which one, because not both. You went to a school that had both? A karate taekwondo, kind of like, it's like a Taco Bell fucking pizza. Taco Bell pizza, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Karate taekwondo kind of like it's like a Taco Bell fucking pizza
Starting point is 00:04:10 Yeah, yeah karate taekwondo and sometimes you did soon Only on Sundays they do jujitsu on Sundays. What was your master's name? What? They're your master the the sensei Yeah, I don't remember. I think I was like four or five. Okay, can you describe him? I don't remember him. I just remember asking to use the bathroom at one point and being scared to do that. Oh, you took one class.
Starting point is 00:04:37 I did too. One class. Was your instructor Asian? I think so. I hope so. Ooh. Isn't that kind of, shouldn't that be a rule? No, what rule?
Starting point is 00:04:50 You have to be Asian to be a karate instructor or a taekwondo instructor. Yeah, but I've had jambalaya made by, you know what I mean, an Asian person. Not as good. The jambalaya was pretty good. It's just not as good. Just in your mind, the problem with me was I went to the bathroom and I peeked in the
Starting point is 00:05:08 kitchen and there was a Chinese guy back there. In occasion restaurant? In occasion restaurant and all the servers were black. So I made the mistake, but if I hadn't looked, I would have been like, oh, that's the best jambalaya I've ever had. Here's the deal. Occasion restaurant, black or white Southern people, I'm in. If a Chinese guy is making my jambalaya, I'm out.
Starting point is 00:05:29 Why? What if we- I'm not there to eat jambaraya. Oh, yeah, yeah. There is a little bit of jambaraya. Yeah, yeah, I get what you're saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want jambalaya.
Starting point is 00:05:39 I want soul food, deep. You know what? Maybe it is possible, but how about this? I like my Mexican food by Mexicans. Sure I like my jambalaya by Cajun people and I like my karate instructors to be Asian. Okay, how about this? If the karate instructor was Indian would that be a problem? Hilarious Anyway, um, so you don't remember if he's Asian. I don't remember for sure. Yeah, I can't my glasses off for a second No, I'm gonna look at your eyes real quick You you didn't sleep well last night, huh? If he's Asian. I don't remember for sure, yeah. Can I take my glasses off for a second? No.
Starting point is 00:06:05 I'm gonna look at your eyes real quick. You didn't sleep well last night, huh? I think I went to bed a little late. What were you doing? Hold on. Oh, can we guess? Yeah, let's guess. Yeah, give me three, you go three.
Starting point is 00:06:18 We only get one. Okay, one. So greedy. I know. Give me three. I'm gonna guess you were editing something. No. Okay. You were scrolling something no, okay, you were scrolling I know what were you doing? I watched Ricky's to Nikki
Starting point is 00:06:33 You've watched the movie I did yeah, and then I watched your sweet dreams today Wow you watch those because why? So that I would have more knowledge of so that I would have more knowledge of it. I have never seen Sweet Dreams. Neither have I. They were good. Yeah. Do you like the movies? Yes.
Starting point is 00:06:51 Okay, interesting. What are your problems with it? And I'm okay. Let's be open. No pressure. Because I would be critical of your movies as well. In fact, when we get home tonight, we'll watch 20, what is it?
Starting point is 00:07:03 The movie he was in? I've already seen all the movies He's been in it 21. They're all pretty good. They are yeah, they're better than stuff that we've done. I think okay He's done a lot of big movies Thank you. Yeah, I think I think y'all's movies are better. Nope. No, you're wrong about that But but give us our criticisms of our films. I like this. I like this a lot So what of what to what level? I like this. I like this a lot.
Starting point is 00:07:21 So what, of what, to what level? Rip us to shreds. Rip us, be complete. How about this? You and I are best friends and also brothers. What? What? What the fuck?
Starting point is 00:07:33 I know, I know, in this scenario. Okay, but- Yeah, and you're caught out on this. Wow. Yeah, yeah, and just for like two minutes, you're gonna be not that. Bring me back. In two minutes, I will.
Starting point is 00:07:42 Okay. So for right now, vroom, vroom. Whoa. No, you're not at mime. What's going on? Me not that bring me back in two minutes. I will okay so for right now You're not at mime what's going on? What no that's up? I use the wrong power think oh yeah, yeah, sorry I have different powers when you do that. I'm gonna transfer him into your I know we have the same relationship So be very critical, and I'm an open book no judgment here, okay? Open book no judgment here. Okay, please go ahead if you need help we can help That's fucking good. That's fucking it really that zombie movie. You're gonna. Do is gonna be just as good you think I don't think so Named after Vegas is famous
Starting point is 00:08:18 Why is why is your movie everyone trying to talk me out of not doing it? I've never had I have agents call me. I don't even talk to it see I like Consider reconsider yeah, and I'm like yeah, but he's my friend. He's our friend. We've never heard of him. We don't like the script. We don't like anything about it. So go fuck yourself, okay? Go ahead, Dax.
Starting point is 00:08:32 I thought that I was confused why the softball tournament paid so much money to the winners. How much did it pay to the winners? $80,000. That is an insane amount of money. I didn't, that's how much they win for a softball tournament? Let me tell you something.
Starting point is 00:08:51 I was in a 16 inch, no glove Chicago style softball league when I first moved here. The winner got free chicken wings at the Thirsty Merchant. I don't even know what it used to be called. That's it, you got wings. Yeah. 80 grand? It's a, well the budget of the movie was $1 million and they're stretching it out.
Starting point is 00:09:12 There's a lot of people in the movie. I think they should have put some more money into that because visually it doesn't look like, the stakes are high enough is what you're saying. 80,000, you know how expensive? I didn't write it and I'm not the producer or whatever. It made for a good climax. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:09:25 No, he's saying that's an absurd thing for people to win in a song. I mean, look at that cast, dude. All right, so that's Johnny Knoxville, Theo Vaughn, you and whom? Shakewell. Shakewell? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:37 Interesting, that's his name? You don't know Shakewell? I don't know Shakewell. I'm gonna tell you this, it's so funny, I just figured you out just now. Oh, I just had an epiphany. He only likes hip hop artists if they're thinner. Zoom into Shakewell.
Starting point is 00:09:54 Don't make fun of Shakewell, he's a good funny guy. I'm sure he is. Well, if he's funny, he'll get it. Great rapper. I'm sure he is. Yeah, I like my rappers not diabetic. I'm sure. Shakewell. Shakey, we're just playing.
Starting point is 00:10:04 We're JPing. He's a rapper. He knows. He knows. Go ahead. So that's the only problem? Or give me another one. Do y'all have any suggestions? No, Dax, we want you to give it to us. I'm fine with, I'm fine with what you just said. Let's move on to performances. Maybe the performances problems. Yeah, no, he's already performances problems. Um, let me think Oh No, no, but there were a couple lines that
Starting point is 00:10:34 Felt like they could have been Less cheesy. Huh? But the movie was very I didn't give any compliments yet. Yeah, go ahead. Give me some compliments. No, no, no. Yeah. Yes Yes, yes. No, I think we only do disses Then the compliments later no compliments. Can I tell let me sit? I know what you're about to say. The movie was heartfelt Yeah, that's all I need to hear. We did to do really well. It's a heartfelt movie. I and I really liked it And thank you so much. No, let's go to sticky sticky Sticky sticky go ahead. Okay
Starting point is 00:11:03 Sticky Nicky, go ahead. Okay. Wait, compliments or? No, no, I don't want any compliments. Let's go Jess. Okay, so for Ricky Sticky, maybe, oh, maybe they forgave a little too quickly. We forgave Ricky. The wives forgave them pretty quickly.
Starting point is 00:11:24 At the end, yes. For a life long. I totally agree. But no compliments. Oh nice. That's the only criticism? No, but it's appalling. It wasn't as heartfelt as some other movies.
Starting point is 00:11:38 No, it was like a comedy. So you're saying Sweet Dreams is more heartfelt. Yeah. It connected your heart. Maybe. And it pulled on your strings a little bit better. Yeah. It connected your heart. Maybe. And it pulled on your strings a little bit better. Yeah. Oh yeah, ours was a comedy.
Starting point is 00:11:48 So it's ours. You're a fucking. Okey dokey. Whatever you say. All right, bud. Okay, bud. Who directed that, Sweet Dreams? My friend Lige.
Starting point is 00:11:58 Oh, Lige did it? Yeah. Who did mine? Was it a fucking like a, who was it? Was it a guy? Who was it? Yeah, it was a comedy legend, Peter Farrelly. Oh fuck, that guy did mine was it a fucking like a who was it was it a guy who was it was a comedy legend Peter Farrelly, oh fuck that guy did mine This guy is such an asshole sometimes he's bragging but he does it in a comedic way and we forgive them but it's also gross
Starting point is 00:12:20 Bang bang bang bang bang so much for that for that. Are you gonna shoot fireworks for 4th of July? Are you that guy? I don't buy them, but if my friends have them, I'll- It's like weed. Yeah, I'm not gonna buy it, but I'll smoke it if you got it. Okay. Yeah. Do you ever, you don't ever smoke weed?
Starting point is 00:12:35 No. Do you want to? No. Will you ever be down to take an edible with me? A small one, like a five milligram. It's a tiny little high. Maybe a tiny, tiny one. milligram. It's a tiny little high. Maybe a tiny, tiny one.
Starting point is 00:12:47 Yeah? What about a chocolate mushroom? We have a bag full of them here. No, not right now. Okay. We wouldn't do it now. It's 4th of July. Well-
Starting point is 00:12:57 You'll see- Our forefathers did it. Yeah, they did. I feel like it just, I don't want something something bad to happen like if it goes wrong for me I'll keep you safe. I promise but we were you me having a bad trip. Yeah, okay Yeah, okay. Have you had a bad trip before no no good. Yeah. Yeah good. You know Dax. Why don't you get into science? Why don't I get into science? Why didn't you get into science you look like a scientist? I'm not that good at That also God only gave me the look You look like a scientist. I'm not that good at that.
Starting point is 00:13:25 Oh, so God only gave you the look. Maybe. Yeah, what a bummer. But he is the gate of a scientist? What's the gate of a scientist? Gate, his stride, the way he walks. That's what I'm saying, the look, everything about him. The dress.
Starting point is 00:13:37 Thanks. I'm giving you that. I'm just adding on. I'm giving you that, right? Yeah, he's a scientific gate. He has the smell, smell. stand up for a second without just stand Let's watch how he stands tell me this isn't a fucking scientist. Oh my god now stay there for a second Put your jacket in the water down. I just like to see how how you science. Let's see, okay
Starting point is 00:13:57 Do this just do like you're holding something That's a bunsen. That's a beaker. That's no that's asen burner. Oh, it's a Bunsen burner. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, it's in your other hand. Yeah. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
Starting point is 00:14:11 whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Drink it! Don't! And then change! Oh. Change. Ha ha ha ha!
Starting point is 00:14:25 Ha ha ha ha! That's how he changes into the Hulk. You are a scientist. Just, yeah. I like you. You know, I like you so much. I like you so much so too. And I watch all your videos online.
Starting point is 00:14:39 And you've been making some really new good ones, by the way. Thank you. Andrew, but can I, before you do this, can I, because the Hulk thing. Hmm. I'm sorry. I've always wanted to learn how to act in a transformation.
Starting point is 00:14:52 Would you mind transforming for us? No, I mean, let's us try it. I've always wanted to do that. Well, I'd like someone to teach us, I bet. Yeah, can you teach us about a Hulk transformation? So I'd say just get into like a, you're supposed to be on the verge of like something's making you angry and you're trying to hold it back.
Starting point is 00:15:07 Oh, so let's go there. Let's do that now. Let's do that now. Let's do that now. Yeah. And then it slowly creeps up on you that you just can't hold it back. What else?
Starting point is 00:15:23 There's gotta be more. So you're trying really hard to hold it back? What else? There's gotta be more in there. So you're trying really hard to hold it back? Because if it comes out, it's the worst thing that could happen. You are gonna freak out. No! No! Don't do it! I bet my sister's bar mitzvah! So you're holding it in and then whenever you're at your breaking point, that's when you turn like super angry and just let loose. Let me think of something that really makes me angry.
Starting point is 00:15:46 Oh my God. Happy fourth. Happy fourth. Do you know what 4th of July stands for? You know what it means? No, Independence Day? What is that? Independence from whom?
Starting point is 00:15:58 Do you know? Britain. Why? Do you know why? Cause people came from Britain and then there was like a tea party or something. You got it? No taxation without? Fixations.
Starting point is 00:16:14 Right. No taxation without fixations. That's why smoking became a big hit. We had oral fixations. Yeah, all kinds of fixations, dude. No taxation without fixation, therefore, guns, alcohol, cigarettes, that's what that- Freedom. Freedom.
Starting point is 00:16:30 My friend, okay, also, can I say another thing? Yes. Just a little observation, you kinda look like Paul Revere right under me. You gonna take a midnight ride? Have you taken midnight rides before? Like in my car? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:44 Yeah. Have you ever yelled out the British are coming my car? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Have you ever yelled out, the British are coming? No. Next time you're driving around in the car, just open your window and yell out the British. It's gotta be the 101 though. Will you film that, send it to us, of you yelling the British are coming out your window?
Starting point is 00:16:55 Yeah, I can do that. Yeah, yeah. Love that. That'd be great. But say it like they are coming. Well, they are. I know they are, but don't go, British are coming, whatever. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:17:03 Like really, like they're coming They're coming from Britain show him with one of the flags You're waving out the window show him what it would be like to yell out the British are coming a being real being very real What's the flag do? Well, it's letting people know that you're you're with me Paul. Yeah Paul. Oh, yeah So I'm in the car like this Right. Yeah. Oh shit. Don't spill that's a window. Mm-hmm. I'm in the car like this, right? Yeah. Oh shit. Don't spill. That's a window?
Starting point is 00:17:26 Mm-hmm, I'll do the sound of the window. No, here's what it, somebody has to, I know what it is, I check a voicemail. That's how I learn about the information. Well, I just got a new voice for it, boop. You have one message. Oh! Oh!
Starting point is 00:17:41 Oh! Oh! What? That was really funny. I didn't know that, I we were gonna okay, what the fuck did you think? Yeah Traffic let me get into this for a while. Yeah, do your thing Fucking old people. Oh, that's Asian fuck my bad Okay. Oh, I have a I have a voicemail, holy shit.
Starting point is 00:18:06 I have an aggro drive, beep. You have one new voice message from your mom. Bobby mom. To accept press one. Oh, fuck one. Bob, I'm in prison. I go away for a long time. Love you. What is she doing in prison? How do I know the prisoners are coming from that? What is she doing in prison? How do I know the British are coming from that?
Starting point is 00:18:43 That's the key indicator. That's, she's, that is the code. That's her code word. That would make that connection between British people are coming and that. So it's like, you have to be more specific. No, Dax, let's do the math. Oh my God. Bob's mom goes to prison.
Starting point is 00:19:00 Let's investigate. Why do you think she's there? A British person. A British person did it. You believe that, Dax? Of course. You truly believe that, Dax? One other conclusion.
Starting point is 00:19:09 Look at me right now, dude. Look at me right now, dude. If your mom called you and says, I'm in prison, that's what you would connected the British are coming? Yeah. Look at me, Dax. Dax. Dax, be real.
Starting point is 00:19:21 Not for comedy, be real. Look at me right now. You think so You know what I love about you you can't lie You haven't heard a second message. Yeah, there's another Yeah, I think there's a bunch. Yeah, there's a bunch of messages. All right, so you have it another Well, I gotta go after that mess Iar. My mom's in prison again. Hello No, I'm not Is that the first time I've wasted my way hasn't happened yet, let me press the button must be malfunctioning malfunctioning
Starting point is 00:20:00 Yeah, hold on get to the button. No, that's my head. You know, it's my other guy in there All right, my mom's in prison what the fuck again I got another message beep Hello You're in trouble I'm going to take I'm going to tax you unfairly going to take I'm going to tax you unfairly I'll be at your house when you get there holy fuck that again not again dude you're right that was good by the way, I wish an English accent would have been nice. It was, it was kind of.
Starting point is 00:20:47 Yeah, English, it would have like brought me back a little more grounded into the situation. I was trying to, I don't throw it off the top of my head. You don't know? Okay. I'll do it for you, you can drive and I'll do it. I don't want to do the, you be the British now, I want to see how well you do it. Here, get a flag. I'm the British person?
Starting point is 00:21:01 No, you're you and you're in the car again. And you hear a voice man. But do the driving, you know what I mean? Let's get into the scene. Get into it. Right, you have a voice mail, whatnot. So yeah, that's how you drive. Yeah, good, good.
Starting point is 00:21:13 Yeah. What is that, a Volkswagen? What is that, a Bug? What are you driving? Oh, a Subaru. A Subaru? Outback or Impressor? Cross track.
Starting point is 00:21:24 Cross track, nice. Yeah, but why is the steering wheel on the side? There's a little off center. A super-oo. Outback or impressive? Cross track. Cross track, nice. Yeah, but why is the steering wheel like on the side? There's a little off center. It's off center, all right, all right. Okay. Okay, good. Oh. Let him do it.
Starting point is 00:21:35 Let him act and get into it. But do the driving and do whatnot and whatever you do, yeah. No, how about this? I'm gonna raise my hand and that's when you do it. I'm the director. Wait, what do I do? I'm gonna go like this and then the voicemail.
Starting point is 00:21:49 Oh, okay. All right, so just, cause I'm the director, I wanna see a little bit of this world here. Okay. Okay. And I'm just holding this? You can do whatever you want. Yeah, whatever, yeah. This is your scene.
Starting point is 00:21:57 But when you do yell out the window, you need that in your hand. So maybe it's on the side. Okay. Oh, you wanna hold it, okay. Oh, oh. No, he can. He can. You listening to to hold that? Okay. Oh, oh. No, he can. He can.
Starting point is 00:22:07 You listening to music or anything? Oh. Nice. Yeah, yeah. Do you like kind of jam out? What is love, love, love, baby don't hurt me. Don't hurt me. No more.
Starting point is 00:22:20 Change the channel. What is love? Oh, stop. Just a, oh. Oh, oh, oh. Yeah, baby. Oh, you're connected to your ox. Your ox is still unplug your ox. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:35 Whatever was on your phone. You have one voicemail to accept. Press one. Dude. Listen up,, Dex. It's me, Beans on Toast. I'm coming for you. I'm coming for everything. I'm here too. I'm here too. We're coming to get you. We're coming to get you.
Starting point is 00:22:55 Me and my disabled Korean friend are coming to get you. What do you think about that, Beans on Toast? Boop. Woo. Theop. Woo. The British are coming. ZocDoc. Okay, I just moved. I know you did. And honestly, I hate finding new doctors.
Starting point is 00:23:18 It's impossible. I don't know what to turn. Well, can I suggest something to you? Please. ZocDoc. What is ZocDoc? You don't know what it is? No. ZocDoc is a free ZocDoc? You don't know what it is? No.
Starting point is 00:23:25 ZocDoc is a free app and a website where you can search and compare highly rated in-network doctors near you and instantly book appointments with them online. Okay, but these guys, are they reviewed? Do they have real patient reviews? They do, there's all these reviews, and like I had a skin condition, and I really did.
Starting point is 00:23:40 And I- You have a skin condition? Have you seen me? I did. I know. I know. I'm not trying. I have a walking condition. Well then go to ZocDoc because I, and I got a dermatologist and it got it all cleared up.
Starting point is 00:23:49 Well ZocDoc is it. I gotta go. The typical wait time I've heard to see a doctor booked on ZocDoc is between 24 to 72 hours. That's it. You can even score same day appointments. Pretty impressive. I, I, I gotta use it. I guess I gotta do it.
Starting point is 00:24:01 You can also filter specifically for the ones who take your insurance, are located near you, or treat basically any condition you're searching for. That's right, we've used ZocDoc and you should too. It's actually fantastic, all jokes aside, it is so wonderful and so simple. Go to zocdoc.com slash bad friends and download the ZocDoc app for free,
Starting point is 00:24:17 then find and book a top rated doctor today. That's ZocDoc, Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash bad friends. ZocDoc.com slash bad friends. This episode is sponsored by Acorns. Hey, investing can feel intimidating. I know it. Okay. I didn't invest for years.
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Starting point is 00:25:04 helped me grow my tiny little portfolio into something that can carry me into the future. Head to acorns.com slash bad friends or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future today. Hey, Don Klein endorsement compensation provides incentive to positively promote Acorns investing involves risk Acorns advertisers LLC and SEC registered investment advertiser view important disclosures at acorns.com slash bad friends.
Starting point is 00:25:28 Shopify. Let me tell you something Andrew. You know what do we do? We have a business. We have an e-commerce business. We sell merchandise. Yes, we sell t-shirts and mugs. Everything that you and I do, right, is we have the high we have that we were with the
Starting point is 00:25:43 best. We do with the best. Right. So Shopify is the global commerce platform that helps you sell at every stage of your business. That's the best part from whether you're starting a small business out of your garage or your mom's house, the basement for all the way to getting a storage space or then maybe hitting a million orders. That's incredible and good luck to you because Shopify helped us grow. They'll be there for you like they were for us. They turn browsers into buyers with the internet's best converting checkout up to 36% better compared to other leading commerce platforms. That's good.
Starting point is 00:26:16 It's very good. Shopify powers 10% of all e-commerce in the US and Shopify is the global force behind all birds, Rothy's Brooklyn, and millions of other entrepreneurs of every size across 175 countries. Hey man, if you're selling stuff on the intro net, you must be using Shopify. How do they do it? So good, so convenient. Plus, by the way, Shopify's extensive help resources are there to support your success
Starting point is 00:26:37 every step of the way because businesses that grow, grow with Shopify. How do they do it, bud? Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com slash bad friends, all lowercase. Go to Shopify.com slash bad friends, lowercase. Now to grow your business no matter what stage you're in. Shopify.com slash bad friends. Yeah, that's good. You have your own choice.
Starting point is 00:26:56 No, you're doing it. You made a choice. That's good. That's good. No one could hear you. Fine. Doesn't matter. He's supposed to warn the people.
Starting point is 00:27:04 It's the sentiment that counts. Because I felt that they were coming. How loud do you think Paul Revere was yelling? He probably was just pretty loud, dude. I bet he was just going British. British are on their way. Oh, because he's got to tell it. He's got to tell a million people. Oh, that's right.
Starting point is 00:27:15 That's right. He's gonna lose his voice the first turn in fucking. Imagine, dude, imagine if he just had Twitter. Yeah. We'd have to leave the house. Just tweet it out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Isn't that really funny to think when he rode through,
Starting point is 00:27:25 he rode through the North end and Charlestown, and by some point he did lose his voice. Wouldn't that be so funny? That'd be insane. He's a sign languages. The British. He sounds like RFK. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:36 The British are coming. I'm in, we're in his clothes right now and I am so uncomfortable. You did watch his gum itchy. No, there's no chance he watched this. He said, you know, he said to me. I said this it smells like you Oh, it smells I go this collar smells He goes that's cuz it leans up against my window that has sun hitting it oh
Starting point is 00:27:52 Wow wow wow I bet you you're one of those assholes that you doesn't use fucking detergent What's the point of washing if I'm not gonna use detergent? Yeah, but you know you you your energy right now July did it's not yeah, yeah, it of July, Ed. It's not Fourth of July. It's Fifth of July. It's Fifth of July. It's about a war. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One of July's a war.
Starting point is 00:28:10 Okay, well you're trying to go to war with Bobby? I thought we were on the same team. You're right. All right, so regroup, all right? What I'm saying is that, what I meant to say is, you don't use, you know how sometimes you smell Mexicans? They smell delicious. They smell so clean. You go to East Mex, you smell Mexicans. They smell delicious. They smell so clean.
Starting point is 00:28:26 You go to East LA, it smells so good. Yeah, I- They're always doing laundry. When I hug Frankie Quinones, I hug a little extra cause he's just so clean. Yeah, they do always smell. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like bounce sheets.
Starting point is 00:28:40 Because they use a lot of detergent, I believe. Good detergent. I feel like you good ones. You know which one? You can't even get in the market. Fabuloso. Fabuloso, though. I get, those are more long sleeves. I don't really wear a lot of detergent, I believe. Good detergent. I feel like, good ones. You know what you want. How many can even get in the market? Fabuloso. Fabuloso, though. I get, those are more long sleeves.
Starting point is 00:28:48 I don't really wear a lot of long sleeves because I don't live in the Midwest anymore. Your attitude is fucking insane. Are you trying to do this because the intern's here? Yes. Yeah, you have a crush on the intern? You have no chance with her. Why are you showing off to the new intern?
Starting point is 00:29:00 And can I bring the, can I, intern come out for a sec? Fuck, what's your name again? Delaney. Hi, Delaney, where are you from you from Delaney Los Angeles. Oh you live here awesome Let her step on a boot let her step on an apple box look at how much taller she is in these two guys I know nice try Carlos a nice try Carlos. No don't hunch over stay on the apple box Delaney Delaney Does McCone have a chance with you ever? What are you do? What's that? Oh no? I said the wrong. We're not doing that Oh, I'm sorry. That's not that. Okay, what were you gonna ask? You!
Starting point is 00:29:25 Oh yeah, that's right. Sit back down, thank you. Wait. Delaney, get back up for a second. Get back up, yeah, yeah, yeah, sorry. Get back up. Let's start again. Let's try it again.
Starting point is 00:29:34 Yeah, let's try it again. You do it then. Yeah. Okay, go. McCone, who you just met, right? Just today, right? First time? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:42 So here's his thing. Whenever there's a woman in his presence, he tries to show off. You know, like he'll belittle us. He thinks that's funny. Get out of the shot. Get out of the shot. Get out of the shot.
Starting point is 00:29:55 And he'll do this thing where he's like, he's like tries to be alpha and all that stuff. Let me ask you a question, okay? Do you know, are you familiar with the podcast? Yeah. Okay, so you know, are you familiar with the podcast? Yeah. Okay. So you know, the power dynamics, right? Do you believe that Andrew and I are McCone's bosses? Sure. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:12 And do you think that we have the power position in this scenario? Yeah. Right. Now listen to the way McCone talks to us. Does that sound like a man who is not in the power position? No. Really? Yeah. Exactly. Interesting. It sounds like a man who is not in the power position? No, really. Yeah, exactly interesting. It sounds like a man who what thinks he is Say it the boss the boss. He's the boss. Yeah, and I want your opinion. How do you feel about that? I
Starting point is 00:30:39 Mean he has the confidence Does it make you does it make you like McCona or hate McCone when he does that kind of stuff He has the confidence, so that's good. Okay. I don't know. Does it make you like McCone or hate McCone when he does that kind of stuff? Probably lean towards hate. Yeah. Yeah, fuck, I mean. Yeah, and give her a full time.
Starting point is 00:30:54 We'll get her job here, okay? Yeah, you're just an intern right now? Yeah. Full time. Delay, amazing. Full time, and I like that. And you know what, honestly, how tall are you? 5'11"? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:04 5'11"? I can replace McCone because we need someone tall and the back taller than them you know what, honestly, how tall are you? 5'11"? Yeah. 5'11"? I can replace McCone because we need someone tall in the back taller than them too. Yeah, exactly. Perfect. If you don't mind, if this is cool, will you just stand right behind the box with the guys there for the rest of it?
Starting point is 00:31:14 I don't have to look at him for a little while. Yeah. Thank you so much. Yeah, stand there, look in that area. Yeah, no, that's great, right? That's where he usually is. That's fine, yeah, that's where he usually is. The darks around there.
Starting point is 00:31:21 Yeah, it looks clear, yeah, yeah. Thank you for letting me. And if you have anything to like dive in, like a comment. If you want to throw in, yeah, throw in your two cents. You can lean in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, just lean in real quick, don't have to get back on the box, just lean in.
Starting point is 00:31:33 Just fast, we do like a lot of fast stuff like this, like hot dogs or hamburgers, go, fast. Hamburgers. Pizza, pizza or- Calzones. Pizza or calzones. Pizza. Why, why?
Starting point is 00:31:44 No, no, no, fast, fast, fast. Okay, okay. Israel, Palestine, fast. Yeah, yeah, okay. Do I have to? No, you have to. Give her a job, this is great. Yeah, give her a job.
Starting point is 00:31:54 The way you pause, I loved it. Way to go, Delaney. Anyway, Delaney, thank you. Way to go. Thank you, Delaney. I called her Panini when I first met her. That's what I thought her name was, Panini. Well, it is-
Starting point is 00:32:03 It sounded- Only white people go there, I think. I'll do it fast. Ask me what my name is. I'm her. What's your name? I didn't That's what she said. Well, that's what sounded like to me. It sounded like and so what did you get out of that? I Don't it I don't not yeah, I don't not I got all right. Well, can I call you donut? Okay, I'll call you panini All right Anyway, wait a minute. Get back back. Wait, whose hat is this? That's new. Brand new. It's so itchy, my head.
Starting point is 00:32:29 Oh man. What would you call your strip club if you owned it? If you owned a strip club. Dax's strip club. Okay. What? Dax's strip club. Oh. Hey man, what you gonna do tonight, man?
Starting point is 00:32:41 Oh, I don't know, man. Probably go over to Dax's. You can go to Dax's strip, I mean, they don't have a cover, that's great. No, they don't know, man. Probably go over to Dax's. You can go to Dax's? I mean, they don't have a cover, that's great. No, they don't have a cover. There's no girls there. I know, man. So it's just a bar, man.
Starting point is 00:32:51 Well, but he just stands there and looks at you. I know. I kinda like him. Yeah, yeah. He doesn't sleep much. He hasn't slept in days. That's under his eyes, yeah. Yeah, poor guy.
Starting point is 00:32:58 Poor guy. Let's go to Dax's, man. Yeah, we gotta go. We'll go see that guy. What would your strip club be called if you had one? Coconut banana. Oh, your two favorite flavors. Yeah, two coconuts, one banana.
Starting point is 00:33:11 Right. Oh, man, two. Two coconuts, one banana, what do you think? It's for bisexuals. No, but not in one person. I mean, just the coconuts would, the tits and the, anyway, I try to do a plan. That's what he just said.
Starting point is 00:33:24 No, but he's saying that it's on one body. It can be. Yeah, you can, why can't it be? Oh, you took it there. I know, exactly. I thought there would be like a section with men and a section with women, and if you like both, you can go to both.
Starting point is 00:33:36 Ooh, ooh, ooh, this is a great idea. A strip club where- I just, you just blew my mind, what? Kind of like a smoking section, a non-smoking session restaurants used to have. Yeah, yeah. You can have a dude side and a chick side. So then you could bring your wife or girlfriend,
Starting point is 00:33:48 bring your boyfriend or husband, and go all scene a little bit. Split off, do your thing, meet back up. Do you have anything that you're planning to do for the 4th of July? Do you do something to celebrate? My friends just had fireworks on the roof last year. On the roof?
Starting point is 00:34:04 Fun? Yeah. Yeah. There was one that went wrong and just like, like didn't shoot up and just like exploded right by us. Wow. Could have lost a... Ear.
Starting point is 00:34:16 Yeah, an ear, yeah. Yeah, ear drum. Ear drum, yeah. You know there's a famous football player who lost a finger doing that years ago. Whoa. Jason Pierre Paul, JPP. Jason, yeah, Pierre Paul, I said it right.
Starting point is 00:34:27 Is it true that if you hold a piece of stick of dynamite and you close your fist and you light it, your hand will disappear? Yeah, look. Okay. Look, he lost a finger during, he set off a firework. He lost fingers.
Starting point is 00:34:39 But did he grip it? I think it went off in his hand earlier. So he was probably lit up on the 4th of July, drunk as shit. He still played football afterwards. It still was great. Those were his fingers? Mm-hmm, look at that. There's his mitt.
Starting point is 00:34:51 Oh my God. What's your favorite? Do you watch any sports? What's your favorite sport? Basketball. Oh, who's your team? The Lakers. Yeah, Los Angeles or Minneapolis?
Starting point is 00:35:01 Los Angeles. Okay, great. Do you know that they're from Minneapolis? No. Cool. Yeah. Soccer? I don't know anything about it,
Starting point is 00:35:15 but my friend's like the Utah team. Yeah, that's the MLS. And Messi I know about. You know about Messi. What do you know about him? That he's great. What country is he from? Argentina, right?
Starting point is 00:35:29 Wow, that's very good. Say it right, say it the right way though. Argentina? No, you can say it, say how you're supposed to say Argentina. Argentina. Argentina. Come on Dax, I know you know how to do it.
Starting point is 00:35:39 Come on Dax, come on, you're an actor dude, come on. Argentina. Well let him get into it. Wait, can you do it so I know how? No, he does not know how to do it. He knows how to do it up there. Look at the guy in the hat. Oh, you do it.
Starting point is 00:35:51 Argentina. There it is. Argentina. Argentina. Say it with confidence. Yeah, yeah. Argentina. So Messi's from where? Argentina.
Starting point is 00:36:01 Oh, great. Very good. Very nice. And what soccer club was he playing for for most of his career? Argentina. Oh great. Very good. Very nice. And what soccer club was he playing for most of his career? Argentina. No. No. What?
Starting point is 00:36:13 Barcelona. Barcelona. Oh. No, you're doing an Italian guy. I know, that's, I know. You're going Barcelona. Barcelona. Anyway, great.
Starting point is 00:36:24 So you're pretty much bored all the time. There's not much to do. Like you don't, you know what I mean? You don't do much. I feel like he reads, he entertains. I don't think he reads even either. Do you read? I don't read anymore.
Starting point is 00:36:35 Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not bored, but my life is probably boring to other people, but I like it. Well, everyone's life is boring to somebody else. He's, his life would bore the shit out of me I was so bored yesterday. What'd you do at night? Yeah, I just kind of walked around like, you know playing side music Cuz I got one of those Bluetooth speakers a new one pretty loud and I was listening and I was like god I'm so miserable right now. Why I'm just alone
Starting point is 00:37:01 You just kind of get you tap into like loneliness and I'm just kind of wandering around and I'm just alone. You just kind of get, you tap into like loneliness and I'm just kind of wandering around and I'm going, God, this is miserable, you know? What could you do to change that? Nothing, I just have to let it pass. My point is, do you get that way? No, I like to be alone. But you never get depressed then? Sometimes, but not really.
Starting point is 00:37:21 Have you ever been depressed? Maybe in high school, I? Maybe in high school. I didn't like high school. Yeah. High school kind of sucks. That's the last time you were fucking depressed? It's pretty good, pretty healthy. Good relationship with himself.
Starting point is 00:37:33 I mean, is it spirituality, baby? Why do you keep looking over there? It's not going to help you. Oh, Panini's over there. You keep looking at Panini. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You pray? What's going on here bud, maybe just I like to just go for
Starting point is 00:37:49 walks and listen to music and same and Then if something sad happens, I definitely feel depressed. Mmm Then what would have given a dog or a cat or anything? No, no, no animal But if I feel like you like lizards or something Dog or a cat or anything? No, no. No animal. I feel like you like lizards or something. They're fine.
Starting point is 00:38:07 Right, like, look at this, you know what I mean? Chameleon I got. Or spider. I do like lizards, yeah. Yeah, yeah. If I had one and it died, I would be depressed. There we go. I mean, that makes sense, yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:21 I think that makes perfect sense. You loved him. True. Yeah, yeah. I think that makes perfect sense. You loved them. True. Yeah, yeah, but you've never had one, so how do you even know? Well, I mean, I know shit tastes bad, but I've never tasted it.
Starting point is 00:38:32 That is true. But like, you have a dog, I love your dog. What's her name? Cubby, the Cubs. The Cub, I've been on plans with the Cubs. She likes you. Yeah. She feels comfortable with you. Dude, I like you. Yeah. She feels comfortable with you.
Starting point is 00:38:45 Dude, I like you, dude. She feels comfortable with you and here's why. Why? She knows that you're an animal guy. She really doesn't like people that aren't animal guys or gals. Right. You know when someone lies to you and say they like dogs
Starting point is 00:38:57 and then they come into your fucking house and they fake pet your dog and you're like, you don't have to do that. It's okay if you don't like dogs. Yeah. And they go like this. Doggy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. to do that. It's okay if you don't like dogs. Yeah. And they go like this. Doggy, good doggy. Good, yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:09 And you're like, it's okay. A month ago I had a girl at my house, she goes, ugh, cats, and I went, leave. Get out. That quick. Get out. Already it's like a red flag. It's like, what are you talking about?
Starting point is 00:39:21 And another one made a snide comment like, as she entered my, you know, that my downstairs area, as she enters, she goes, cats smells like cats. I go, yeah, it's a good smell. There's cats here. Yeah, yeah, it's a good smell. What you gonna do about it? And she goes, nothing.
Starting point is 00:39:36 Why are you so weird? I go, nothing, either. You know what I mean? Don't say shit like that. Whatever, you know what I mean? Like I'm so defensive. Well, yeah, it's yours. Yeah, and it's-
Starting point is 00:39:44 You love them. Yeah, so I know how you are with your dog. Yeah. Like it's an extension of you. It is. Why are you laughing? Is this one of the girls that runs off your car quickly? I can't hear a word he's saying. I didn't understand the joke, so it's like-
Starting point is 00:40:02 What did he say? I know it's gonna make me mad. Yeah. But I'm kinda glad I didn't the joke. So it's like. What did he say? I know it's gonna make me mad. Yeah. But I'm kind of glad I didn't hear it. So slow it down. What did he say? McCone, what did he say? What did he say, McCone?
Starting point is 00:40:12 Is there one of the girls that run from your car quickly? Oh, is it one of the girls that ran from your car quickly? That you tried to kiss. I get it. Oh, he's taking shots. When are you going to Spain? Don't come back. Listen, I'll it. Oh, he's taking shots. When are you going to Spain? Don't come back. Listen, I'll be honest, dude.
Starting point is 00:40:28 You wanna do real talk? Hit him hard. No, no. No, hit him hard. Let's do real talk. Hit him hard, baby. I wanna do real talk. Because I love you, man.
Starting point is 00:40:35 I wanna do real talk. All right. It's been a pleasure, dude. Right? Am I not right? Yeah, I know. This is how you do when you fire somebody you've made that before. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:40:47 Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's been a pleasure. You know, and it's really, what a memory is what we built together. We did. We did, right? We did. Yeah, but what I wanna say is you're on your last leg.
Starting point is 00:40:58 That's it. Okay. I had to tell her a couple of days ago, like I can't hang out, because I know I'm in the friend zone. And it really hurt me. The FZ. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:11 And so I don't know why you're crying so hard. That you left. Yeah, what is that? What is wrong with you, dude? He hasn't slept in days. The baby's keeping him up. Is that what you're justifying for him? Gotta be, I mean, what else is it?
Starting point is 00:41:25 But guy, the guy did. No, it's not like that. It's not. Okay. Dax, what's your favorite midnight snack? Look, you're up late, Dax gets out of bed and goes, I'm snacky, what are you going to get? Maybe order something from like an app.
Starting point is 00:41:40 Okay, and what would you order? Where would you go? Maybe just get some French fries or something. Just fries. Just fries. Yeah. From would you order? Where would you go? Maybe just get some french fries or something. Just fries? Just fries. Yeah. From where, you think? Fred 62, because I live near it.
Starting point is 00:41:52 Oh, Fred 62 is great. Oh, it's the most feeling you live. Yeah. May I say that? I love Fred 62. Yeah. Still open late? Yeah, yeah, 24 seven.
Starting point is 00:41:59 Still 24 seven. Yeah. Great breakfast sandwich at three in the morning, if you want one. Phenomenal. I'll tell you what I had the other night, at two in the morning. It's, I don't know,. I'll tell you what I had the other night, at two in the morning. It's, I don't know, it's not a,
Starting point is 00:42:07 I don't know what brand it is, but it's, they're like, they look like fries, they're chips, but they're fiery. And on the cover of it, there's a cheetah. Cheetos? That's not Cheetos. Flamin' Hot Cheetos? No, no, there's another Cheetah. Takis?
Starting point is 00:42:21 Yeah. It's that. Oh, Chesters. Chesters. It's, but the same thing. I know, but anyway. I like how you go, not Cheetos. It's that. Oh, Chester's. Chester's. But the same thing. I know, but anyway. Like how you go not Cheetos. It's the same fucking thing.
Starting point is 00:42:29 It's not, that's not a Cheeto. That's Chester. Chesters are made by Cheetos. Are they really? You think they fucking have a mutual split over a iconic figure? I think they're two different tigers, no? Chester is his name.
Starting point is 00:42:42 Chester Cheetah is the fictional character by Frito-Lay's Chester. Oh, I don't know. I don't know. I ate a whole bag of those. You're part of the Tigers, no? Chester is his name. Chester Cheetah is the fictional character by Frito-Lay's Cheetah's Grandfather. Oh my God! I ate a whole bag of those fiery fries. Delicious. Very delicious. Yeah. But then the next morning, I'm a little embarrassed.
Starting point is 00:42:56 You paid for it, didn't you? I paid for it on this way. This tooth right here, right? In the back of it was just the mush of it caked into my tooth. Did you didn't brush? I didn't brush. I brushed, then I went to bed. I'm hungry.
Starting point is 00:43:13 I know there's a bag in my drawer. I ate it, went back to sleep. And in the morning I had this gigantic mushed up, you know what I mean, caked onto my tooth. Right? And I had to, I couldn't do it with a toothbrush because it's gross to do it with a toothbrush. So I had to do it with a leaf, it was really bad. Then you had breakfast.
Starting point is 00:43:31 Yeah. And it came back out, you put it right back in. I think I did it, I did it back in. You gotta. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you brush multiple times a day? Twice a day. Morning and night and that's it?
Starting point is 00:43:39 Yeah. You ever do a midday brush? No. Little clean up? No. Clean up crew. No floss? No floss. I should. Yeah,. Floss, floss? No.
Starting point is 00:43:45 No floss? I should. Yeah, it looks good. It's fine. Dude, you're like a clean, upstanding citizen, I just realized. Thank you. You brush your teeth, right?
Starting point is 00:43:56 You pay your bills. And all your expenses are paid for, right? Like, I mean, expenses like your car. Did you buy it? Yes. Right. It's paid for, right? Like, I mean, expenses like your car, did you buy it? Yes. Right, it's paid for? Insurance. Yes.
Starting point is 00:44:09 Everything on time. Yes. Yeah. Do you pray? No. Okay, that's a little, you know. What's your credit score? I've never looked it up.
Starting point is 00:44:17 Probably exceptional. It's gotta be so good, I bet you it's like 800. And I think the last time you told me you don't masturbate that much. I didn't say that Show me normal show me show me your hands. Oh, yeah. What's a normal amount to you? What is it to you? What is it to you is a good question? Yeah. Yeah, but he's answering with another question. Okay To me a normal amount would be every other day.
Starting point is 00:44:49 Unless you have a partner. Unless. Right. Yeah, maybe like that. Is that what you do? Yeah. No. Nope.
Starting point is 00:45:00 I'll tell you why. You don't believe it? Yeah, back up for a second with the thing. Don't lie to me, pal. Okay, I asked tell you why. You don't believe it? Yeah, back up for a second with the thing. Don't lie to me, pal. Okay, I asked you a question. You could have said every other day, but you didn't. You were gonna see, because you don't know what the normal amount is,
Starting point is 00:45:13 because you do it all the time, feverishly. Yeah, you do. Feverishly, yeah, aggressively. And that's not my, that's you, right? I don't have an opinion about that. No judgment here. It sounds like you're judging me. I'm not judging you.
Starting point is 00:45:28 Okay. I know it sounds like it and I am but I'm not. All right, so Guy, can I call you Guy for a sec? Pocahontas? No, no, fuck it. I don't like liars. Pocahontas? Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:40 Chachi, can I call you Chachi? Sure. All right. Lunk. Lunk, give me the real amount, come on baby. Maybe less than every other day, maybe a few times a week. Nice.
Starting point is 00:45:55 Oh, you're doing it the opposite way. You thought it was more. Whoa, yeah, and you? Every full moon. Oh, because I hear the howling and I? Every full moon. Oh, because I hear the howling and I don't like it. You have to howl when you come. Do I have to? It's instinctual.
Starting point is 00:46:11 I know, do it again, that howl. Ooh! I know. It's not my fault. The full moon gets up there and I get, I get horne. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. When I see the moon. Whenever the mood strikes me.
Starting point is 00:46:24 Yeah, I bark, I don't moon. Yeah, what whenever the mood strikes me? Yeah, I bark I don't howl What noise do you make? No noise when you complete that's the creepiest ones, right? Sorry. This is what you do. This is what that says And I think it goes like this completed Completed wow, that's really good. Is that close? Do you ever say something to yourself when you're done? Do you go, good Dex.
Starting point is 00:46:53 I know, but I could try it. Let's try it. Tonight, will you try it? Maybe. When you're done tonight, I want you to go, very good Dex. Do you like somebody right now? I can tell. You like somebody right now.
Starting point is 00:47:04 A little crushy wash? I can tell you like somebody right now No, crushy wash. I do have a crush But she doesn't live here. How far? New York, it's but we only hung out a couple times. It's fine. Oh, oh, this is this is romantic love in New York I love New York New York City New York City big Apple big apple. You know why they call it that? Hotels they used to leave an apple on your pillow when they had New York City. The Big Apple. The Big Apple. You know why they call it that? No. Yeah, yeah. In hotels, they used to leave an apple on your pillow when they used to make the bed. That's right, and chocolates, or probably not.
Starting point is 00:47:30 Do you know that? No, why? They were called the Big Chocolate Bed. Yeah. They used to leave an apple on your pillow after you stayed at a hotel when they turned over the hotels. Why did they do that? Well, the apple industry had like a stronghold
Starting point is 00:47:42 on the government and New York was kind of feeding it. Red Delicious. Yeah, upstate New York was kind of feeding. Red delicious. Yeah, upstate New York was kind of, they had an overflow. You know how we use corn syrup and everything because corn over grew? Same thing happened in the Northern New York state, upstate and they just were like, we have to get rid of a lot of these apples.
Starting point is 00:47:57 So they forced the hand and this is a lie, but. I know it is, it's a lie, but it was so good. It's a long lie. It's a long lie. Did you believe any of it? Well, just until you started explaining it. Yeah It's a lie, but it was so good. It's a long lie. It's a long lie. Did you believe any of it? Well, just until you started explaining it. Yeah, thanks. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:09 That's a fun exercise, you know what I mean? Of like kind of just trying to be a, have knowledge about a thing. Yeah. Like beef jerky. You and I do this on the show every single day. But with you, I want to ask about this real love situation. Right?
Starting point is 00:48:23 I'm so interested. I'm so interested. And when I honestly, we're not teasing you. No. We want to help you. We want to ask about this real love situation right now this question I'm so interested and when I honestly we're not teasing you we want to help you we want to help you your dog You're a guy. Okay, so without saying any names. Why don't I want to I don't want you to make you feel uncomfortable Right. How did you meet her a friend of a friend and then she offered to help me with editing thing? Hmm a video that you did? Mm-hmm. She offered. Mm-hmm. That's important.
Starting point is 00:48:47 It's very important. Is she a fan, you think? No, but the friend was. That's okay. So the friend loves your shit. I don't know how much they like it, yeah. But that's okay. But you know they like it a little. Yeah. Yeah,. But you know that you like it a little.
Starting point is 00:49:05 Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Well, that's like us. We don't know what the degree is. We don't ask, what percentage do you like me? I mean, that's insane. But my point is, all we know is he likes you. And she probably, if she offered to help you edit, she finds you cute.
Starting point is 00:49:18 Yeah, big time. Maybe, yeah, I don't know. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Was she tall, short? What are we talking? Brown hair, blonde hair? Shorter than me. Shorter than you? Shorter than you. Yeah. Was she tall short? What are we talking? I think hair blonde hair shorter than me shorter than you. Yeah, what color hair? Brown what color eyes? Brown. Yeah, what size feet? I don't know. Okay, you gotta know. Okay, that's an extremely important
Starting point is 00:49:36 No, is she more um, and I don't even know how to say is she more Is she really feminine or is she? Is she more, is she really feminine or is she, eh? Uh. You know? You know? Maybe the, maybe more feminine. Feminine, okay, okay. Soft.
Starting point is 00:49:52 Soft. Yeah. Small, petite. Does she know, does she know you have a crush? Maybe. Maybe. Because we got an email from. This girl emailed us.
Starting point is 00:50:02 What'd she say? Alexi. Can we Google this girl? I mean, go to our Instagram. Instagram, yeah. Is that email from this girl email this what you say lexi this let's can we google this girl I mean go to go to her Instagram. Yeah, so this girl asked so let's see if we have another option for you, bud Okay, all right Wow. She's good-looking Dex. She's very pretty. She said are you single? She's a hot Latina How the fuck does he get her? I can't get it. I got on a date with her. What are you talking about? You're on a million dates with a million are you talking about? She's pretty. You're on a million dates with a million pretty girls.
Starting point is 00:50:26 Oh, that's true. Go ahead. Yeah, I'm sorry. That was wrong of me. No. She really likes you, dude. Look at how cute she is. Would this be something you'd be interested in dating this girl?
Starting point is 00:50:34 She reached out to us. Do you want us to connect you? She's very pretty. Sure. Yeah. Is she your type just based on that profile? I want to let you know she has no legs. This is all torso.
Starting point is 00:50:44 Yeah. She has no torso. She has no legs. Is that profile? I wanna let you know she has no legs, this is all torso. Yeah. She has no torso, she has no legs. Is that okay? Yeah. Okay. But just be facially, is that something that's down your line? Okay, good.
Starting point is 00:50:55 You want us to set up a date with her or no? What would that date be? Well, we'll pay for a dinner date, movie, an outing. We'll ship you off to Catalina Island if you'd like. You tell us what you want to do with this. What is your date? Like, your dream date, what is it? You have a car, right? What did you say? You have a Subaru? What do you have?
Starting point is 00:51:14 A Subaru. A Subaru, yeah. Yeah, a Subaru, right? You pick her up, right? Beep, beep. Right? Beep, beep. She comes out. The British are coming! Yeah, yeah. Right? Do you, she comes out. The British are coming! Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:25 Right? Do you open her door for her or no? Yeah, yeah. You open the door. Well actually, it's kind of hard to know what to do. I did go on a hinge date where I picked someone up and I didn't know if I should get out and open the door. And then when she got in,
Starting point is 00:51:43 I tried to give her a side hug kind of thing. Too soon, too soon. No, no, he's allowed to do that. It's too fucking soon to do it. No, no, no, stop, stop, what the fuck? You don't know her, you open the door, and you tried to do a side hug? It did feel awkward. Carlos.
Starting point is 00:51:58 It's too much, right? If you were standing up, I get it. No, I don't. Get Panini on the mic. Panini, get up here. Panini, come here. Because Panini, how old are you? 21. Okay. Are you dating right now?
Starting point is 00:52:09 Not like- Are you in a relationship? No. Nice, okay. You're not in a relationship. Okay, so if you're on a date and a guy did this with Dax, if he did give you a little cute side hug. A side hug.
Starting point is 00:52:18 Are you mad about it? You upset? No, but I feel like you should have gone out of the car, maybe. Okay. Okay, that would have been better because it did feel weird. Wait, wait, you weren't out of the car? No, I I feel like you should have gone out of the car maybe. OK. OK. That would have been better because it did feel weird. Wait, wait. You weren't out of the car? No, I wasn't out of the car.
Starting point is 00:52:29 Were you open? Oh, you leaned over and opened it that way? I can't remember if I opened it. I feel like he leaned across and opened it. Yeah, you leaned to go, whoa, whoa, whoa. Open it right then she came in. You do what you come on in. Side hug, right? To be honest, whenever she sat there, then it's like nice to me.
Starting point is 00:52:44 Oh, my God. That's not a move that I would do anyway I guess I'm great. All right. Anyway, so how else does the day go? So I'm the girl where we going Would you like to grab some food? Yeah, okay. Let's get some food But where are we going? Oh What what do you like? Well, you didn't make reservations? Oh. What the fuck?
Starting point is 00:53:09 Yeah, I made some reservations. Okay, where? At a awesome place, sushi place. Oh, I love sushi, what's it called? Sugarfish. Oh, I like sugarfish, that's good. What are you looking at me for? I'm doing it wrong. I'm not fucking here You guys are on the yeah, you're judgy. No, I'm the neighbor. I'm just looking at all your little All right, so okay sugar fish we go to sugar fish and then like we're sitting down is
Starting point is 00:53:38 So, um, what do you like to order here? I like to just get whatever the chef recommends. Hey, welcome to Sugar Fing. Let me take your fucking order, eh? What's up, man? You want something to drink first to start, or you? Just water, please. Oh, yeah?
Starting point is 00:53:54 Water, ice, or no ice? Ice is fine. You're out of luck. We don't have any, bro. What about you? Do you guys have any high-end sake? All we have right now to drink is Sprite, horchata, water Is this sugar fish?
Starting point is 00:54:10 What? Are we at sugar fish? No! This is pink taco! What the fuck? Why are we at a pink taco, Dax? What the fuck? You thought this was sugar fish? Yeah, I got...I was closer No man, this is a...
Starting point is 00:54:25 Alright, well I guess I'll get a horchata. Yeah, horchata for you. Alright, for the lady for you. Water, right? Okay, great, be right back. Anyway, wow, it's weird that you would say we're going to sugar fish and now we're at pink taco. Sorry.
Starting point is 00:54:39 Hey, there's your horchata, there's your water. Yeah, yeah, that was fast. Yeah, they're right behind me. Oh, okay. What would you Yeah, yeah. That was fast. Yeah, they're right behind me. Oh, okay. What would you like to order? Just shrimp tacos. Okay, how many? Three.
Starting point is 00:54:51 You want them blackened? Sure. Yeah, you have to say yes. Yes, yeah. So I'm- Any modifications? No, thank you. You like them as is?
Starting point is 00:54:59 Yes. Okay. Do you know everything that comes on it? No. Fuck you then. Alright, what about you? I love this guy. I'm vegan, so...
Starting point is 00:55:10 Hurry up China, we gotta go. Are you vegan? Yeah, I'm vegan, so what are my vegan options? You could either fuck off or... Okay, yeah, just fuck off is all it says here. Yeah, yeah, I'll get three fuck-offs. Okay, three fuck-offs. Any modifications? Well, does it come with guacamole?
Starting point is 00:55:30 Yeah, it's extra. Yeah, alright. Okay, do you want a blackened? Yeah, I don't know what blackened fuck-off sounds like. It's... Fuck off! Okay, yeah. That's what that shit is!
Starting point is 00:55:46 Oh, that's what a blackened... That's what a black and... That's what a black and... That's a black and fuck off. That is so funny, dude. Okay, I'll be right back. Yeah, that was very, dude, that was, you're on fire today, dude. I'm just humming. Got your humming too, it's so good today.
Starting point is 00:55:56 So you took this girl, finish the date, so the date's over, you left the restaurant. Okay? Yeah, yeah, all right, we're back. Fancy fucking losing his mind. Anyway, um... I need you to get a grip on this guy. See, that pink taco was okay, I yeah, all right, we're back. Fancy fucking losing his mind. Anyway- I mean, you get a grip on this guy. So that pink taco was okay.
Starting point is 00:56:08 I mean, the fuck, I've had better fuck offs. You know what I mean? And I should have gotten blackened. I really, I barely ate it, but what are we doing now? What are you in the mood for? Oh, wow. Well, we can go watch a movie, I guess. Okay.
Starting point is 00:56:26 Where, what have you watched? Oh wow. Well we can go watch a movie I guess. Okay. All right. Where? What have you watched? Oh Furiosa. You wanna go see Furiosa? Have you seen it already? I've seen it. Yeah I saw it too. Okay.
Starting point is 00:56:35 I wanna go to the house. What? I wanna go to the house. Maybe, you know, but there's probably some new streamers or something that's come out. You wanna come to my house? Yeah. Really? Yeah?
Starting point is 00:56:51 Really? Yeah, okay. Come on. We walk in the door. All right anyway. I have like nine roommates. Okay All right, this is my roommate Tito you met you recognize them from the restaurant Fuck off anyway, right? He knew, I mean, it was a joke. Yeah, yeah. So Tito, say hi to him. Yeah, good to see you. What's up? Hello.
Starting point is 00:57:14 Yeah, yeah. 15%, huh? Piece of shit. Now you treat people in the industry, bro? Sorry. Yeah. Cheap. Okay. Oh, anyway, okay. Pretty cheap.
Starting point is 00:57:25 Hey Tito. Yeah, that's okay though. No, no, Tito, shut the fuck up, alright? Okay, okay, I'll fuck. Alright, he hasn't been in a movie in like 15 years. Oh yeah. You're an actor, bro? I was and now I do more TikToks.
Starting point is 00:57:33 Oh yeah, I fucking love TikToks. Anyway, Tito. Alright. Can we just, cause we're gonna- Yeah, peace out, later bro. Yeah, peace out. Yeah. And where's Raul and your brothers?
Starting point is 00:57:41 Yeah, Raul, you wanna go get him? Yeah, go get Raul, be right back. I'm gonna go get him. I'm gonna go get him. I'm gonna go get him. I'm gonna go get. Can we just, because we're gonna- Peace out, later bro. Yeah, peace out. Yeah, and where's Raul and your brothers? Yeah, I'll roll you, I'm gonna go get him. Yeah, go get Raul, It's got that weird horn.
Starting point is 00:58:06 Hey, I'm Raul! Yeah, hey Raul! Yeah. Anyway, I just wanna let you know, Dax, like I've always been in open relationships. I fuck all these guys. Yeah, we fuck her. All of us.
Starting point is 00:58:17 We run a train. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You wanna be the caboose? Yeah, yeah. No, thanks. I mean, the train's taking off in about 45 minutes. Right, if you look at the schedule, we have a schedule. Yeah, right. No, thanks. I mean, the trains take it off in about 45 minutes, right? If you look at the schedule, we have a schedule. Yeah, right on the wall.
Starting point is 00:58:29 Right on the wall. Look at the wall. And it flips like a European train station. It flips, tell you the stops. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So anyway, let him be the front this time. You're always the front. Why don't you be the caboose, okay, Raul?
Starting point is 00:58:41 All right, I let him. All right, right. Little white guy. Yeah, yeah. But do you want to watch something first Sure, okay, uh what would you want to watch? Some kind of movie on you like sci-fi Yeah, you do Let's watch something sci-fi. Okay. Oh, I know
Starting point is 00:59:03 Hobbit return to the Netherlands is out okay? You know they leave the Middle Earth and they go to the Netherlands is out. Okay. They leave the Middle Earth and they go to the Netherlands. You know what I mean? And it's like, you know, the adventure continues. I haven't seen the other Hobbits. Oh really? We should start with the first one, the destination of whatever smog.
Starting point is 00:59:24 All right, so you want to watch it? Yes. And he was the destination of whatever, Smog. All right, so you wanna watch it? Yes. And it was the star of it, the guy from the office, the English office. Oh, yeah. Yeah, what's his name? Freeman. Yeah, Martin Freeman.
Starting point is 00:59:34 Yeah, whatever. Should we watch it? Yeah. So what are we gonna watch it on? Oh, do you have- Raul, Raul. I like the way this guy looks at me, bro. I know, he has a creepy look, right?
Starting point is 00:59:49 If you want me to leave the TV room, just say so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's fine. You want me to stay? Can you watch? Actually, do you wanna, because you've seen all the, do you wanna watch Return to the Netherlands?
Starting point is 01:00:01 I guess, for the third time. All right, let's watch the Netherlands one All right, and so we're just gonna sit on the couch and then oh, okay the TV it works. Yeah, of course Okay, so turn it on Raul. All right. So anyway I'm gonna take off. I gotta go I gotta go in case you guys want to hook up wrong move Why'd you put on the sector minutes my favorite movie I? Gotta go in case you guys want to hook up Are you gonna hook up with my girl? Yeah? Well? No the trades taking off Are you gonna hook up with the trade singing up right go get Tito go get Tito Sam get out get all the boys
Starting point is 01:00:40 Oh the boys yeah, yeah, you ready. You're ready dude. Here's your conductor's hat Ready all right. Oh, I'm the front right Get all the boys. All the boys? Yeah, yeah. You ready? You ready, dude? Here's your conductor's hat. Ready? All right, well I'm the front, right? So I'm bending over, all right? And we're going to Fresno. That's where you're born, right? Choo-choo. Very good.
Starting point is 01:00:59 What a date. So you landed. It seemed like that worked. That worked. Yeah. What do you think, Panini, is that a kind of date that you'd want to go on? Is that something that's not what it usually goes like? Maybe that's hinge stuff then.
Starting point is 01:01:14 To each his own. To each their own. To each his own, yeah. How many dating apps are you on? Tinder and Hinge. Nice. Why not, what's the other one? What's the big one?
Starting point is 01:01:24 Raya. Raya, are you on that? I'm a Raya. No, no. Why not? I applied once other one? What's the big one? Raya. Raya, are you on that? I'm all Raya. No, no. Why not? I applied once and they just didn't let me. No, here's what we do. He can recommend you, right?
Starting point is 01:01:32 Carlos, you're on it? Yeah, I got him. I'm on it. Makona, you on it yet? No, he hasn't gotten in. Yeah, because I denied his. Yeah. Wait a minute, you applied and didn't get in?
Starting point is 01:01:42 No, I got a request from him and I denied it. I have like six applications. Dude, that's so fucking funny. I got in like what? How long did it take me? Probably a couple days. Couple days, yeah. Days?
Starting point is 01:01:55 Even that? No. You're famous. Isn't that what that whole bullshit is about? Two days. He's been at it for six months. Still not there. No, over like two years.
Starting point is 01:02:03 Two years is not enough. We're gonna fire you guys. They'll never let you in. You're not gonna get in. I check it for six months, still not there. No, over like two years. Two years is not enough. We're afraid of you guys. They'll never let you in. You're not gonna get in. I check it every couple of months. Panini, are you on there? No. Oh.
Starting point is 01:02:11 Would you wanna be on those apps? No, not really. No, okay, that's not for you. You like it naturally, you're meeting a guy on the beach. So you're not on any of the apps? No. Wow. Wow, wow, wow. That's it, for 21, am I crazy, doesn't that? Yeah, but she has her own style. No, I, wow. I think it's okay. For 21, am I crazy?
Starting point is 01:02:25 Doesn't that- Yeah, but she has her own style. No, I know, but everyone's on the apps in your age range. McCone's 25 now. Yeah. I mean, I don't really use the apps that much. So no one that young does. So maybe it's the people in their 30s who use them more.
Starting point is 01:02:40 People are holding on to it. They can't detect their own boss. And in their 50s. 30s and up, I meant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But wait, so the people in their 20s now, you guys is not, no one's using them. I mean, everyone just kind of knows
Starting point is 01:02:51 that it's all kind of like, a lot of it's just bad activity, a lot of it's algorithms designed against you. It's not great. So their business is dropping. Tinder saw its paid users fall by nearly 10% last year. That's fucking huge. Huge. Wow. Huge.
Starting point is 01:03:06 Wow. Wow. This will continue to fall. You guys are finally gonna do what we did, which is go talk to people all the time and get rejected to your fucking face, which is actually fucking rad. Getting rejected is such a healthy part of growing. Even when, it's so funny, when I get rejected,
Starting point is 01:03:22 and I do often, you know? And I'm being real. Not true, it's bullshit. No, I do. I mean, have I had great dates? I'm dating somebody right now I really like. Yeah. And that's not a rejection. She really likes me, I like her and whatnot, right?
Starting point is 01:03:35 Yeah, you've never been rejected. I know, but you mean that other girl that you were trying to tease me. Cobra. The cobra, right? She did, but then the other day she basically said, it's the age. It cobra, right? But then the other day she basically said, it's the age. It's the age?
Starting point is 01:03:48 Yeah, she goes, you know, I'm 27 or whatever and you're 52 and when I'm this age, you're going to be this age. And she's like, I just, I don't think I can do it. We're all just looking for love. I know. And that's what I told her too. And you said, I don't care how, and she's just said still the age. Yeah, the age.
Starting point is 01:04:01 I go, okay, that's fine. I completely understand. And good luck. She doesn't have any, you know, she doesn't have... What is it? Foresight. But you know... I'm an old man, dude.
Starting point is 01:04:16 But the good news is, you die, she gets your shit. Pre-nup, dude. No, no, no. Oh, okay. You're not going to get married if you live with someone in California for a certain amount. That's not true.. No, no, no. Oh, okay. You're not gonna get married. If you live with someone in California for a certain amount of time. That's not true. Yeah, 100% it is.
Starting point is 01:04:29 It's not. It's not a thing. It absolutely is. Look it up, California, what's it called? Common. Common law. There's no common law in California. Yeah, because he would have gone through it.
Starting point is 01:04:37 I would have gone through it with Kaila. Yeah. No statue that confers the right to marry couples, there are statues that wear a couple, but they are in fact not. But there's gotta be something. There is. I feel like I've heard horror stories. Yeah, in other states, yes, not here.
Starting point is 01:04:50 Yeah, it doesn't. You know why? Because everybody here is a fucking child. Nobody grows up. That's it. Right, we live in Peter Pan land. Yeah. But it's, but also what I don't get is they look at,
Starting point is 01:05:02 like right now, me and this girl are having a great time, we get along and this and that, right? But immediately she lives, not in the moment, she lives 20 years down the line. You know, what if this happens, you know what I mean? So you'll die at the same time then? Yeah. That kinda makes sense.
Starting point is 01:05:18 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that's perfect. Right, but they don't think that way, so it's like, you know, I, you know, I, um, I live in the moment. I don't think about like, oh, if this happens, this happens, that's insane. The way that the thing. Well, cause it's all going to go away when you at least expect it. Well, they say what in the next two years we don't fix the, um, the environmental problem.
Starting point is 01:05:37 It's irreversible. Blah, blah, blah. Yeah. Yeah. Heard it before. Show me a couple of videos for fun. That's me. Tell me this isn't you. What was I? Does that mean hungry? Tell me this isn't you. Oh, dude, he's my friend, dude. Yeah. I love him, dude.
Starting point is 01:05:53 That's your jacket, your backpack and your hat. I know. I was like, that's Bobby Lee. I know. What's that actor's name? Benedict. Benedict Cumberbatch. That's what he looks like, Benedict Cumberbatch.
Starting point is 01:06:06 Yeah, he just texted me like, in LA we're gonna have dinner when he comes. He's a great guy, dude. Well, make sure he doesn't wear that jacket. That'll be a bummer if you're wearing the same jacket. But when he did see me, he did see me, I was wearing all that stuff. He saw me perform once and he goes,
Starting point is 01:06:17 oh, good look, bro. You think he's just copying? He might be. I'm not kidding when I say this. Yeah, yeah. That is 100% you. But can I say this? Now that I see it on another person.
Starting point is 01:06:26 You see how ridiculous you are? No, no, no. I see how cool I am. Oh. Am I right, Dax? You know him? Just from this clip. You've never seen him in movies?
Starting point is 01:06:39 That guy? Yeah, he was in Dr. Strange. No, I haven't seen that. Do the same? Yeah, yeah. See? Yeah. he was in Doctor Strange. No, I haven't seen that. Do the same? Yeah, yeah. See? Yeah. Now do you remember?
Starting point is 01:06:49 Now you remember? No? Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's a great guy. It looked so much like you, it fucking- I love it. It was like alternate. If I'm like similar to that, good.
Starting point is 01:07:00 You're- Give me another thing. Not similar, you look exactly like- Okay. Here's a new move you can do on girls since you keep getting co-bred, you can do the lice. Ooh, the lice move. What is it? He's pretending to look for lice.
Starting point is 01:07:11 Oh, very smart. Look at that guy. That's smart. Who is that guy? That's a guy that got a mail order bride off the internet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's smart. That's pretty smart.
Starting point is 01:07:23 He looks, pretend to look for lice. Yeah, yeah. Does it have to for lice. Yeah, yeah. Does it have to be lice? What is it? What are you looking for in somebody's hair? Well, I just saw the omen. What's in the omen? 666 on the skull.
Starting point is 01:07:34 Whoa, do you have to shave their head to see? No, you go, are you the Antichrist? And then you kind of look, right? Oh, you give him a kiss? That's just like this. The Antichrist symbol is on the head. Right. Right, so instead of l lies, there's other ways.
Starting point is 01:07:46 Give me another one. Is that a wig or no? You're balding. Oh yeah, let me see your hairline. Yeah. That's 666 on the skull. Zoom in, zoom in. Yeah, that.
Starting point is 01:07:58 Right on the crown. Yeah. I don't believe in any of that stuff, but I don't wanna be near. You don't believe that Damien, do you believe in Damien? Who's's that he's the devil's son? No, I don't know. I don't believe in that person. Okay. Yeah, it's not a person It's a fucking he's saying he doesn't believe in you don't believe in demons or angels or any of that. No
Starting point is 01:08:17 So when you see Constantine you're like, I don't know who constant in the movie anyway Wait, what you've met you don't believe do you do you adamantly not believe in in in Dev's a movie, anyway. Wait, what, you don't believe, do you adamantly not believe in devils? Oh no, no, I just don't ever see ghosts or think about it. But you believe they exist, like, hey man, I'm living with a demon right now, baby. I guess I would believe you if you really, like. That's a bad example
Starting point is 01:08:49 Well if he doesn't believe it like this you've never had that kind of image in the middle of the night Yeah, no, I have had sleep paralysis Where like I feel like I'm have like a shadowy thing holding me down whoa? Slenderman no just a shadowy thing are you sure it could be slender man could be Who knows who could be McCone get him come over here and get him a water. What does he eat? Water? Just a water, yeah, or something. Yeah. He has another water in his hand?
Starting point is 01:09:13 Oh, you do? Yeah. Oh, he's got it there. He's got the- Oh, cool. Get you another one. Thank you. Your legs are just putrid. I'm sorry, you're a great guy from the waist up.
Starting point is 01:09:23 Your legs kind of look like your thighs because they're so hairless. They kind of look like. It's Rosie O'Donnell's leg. It's like my aunt's legs, like one of my aunts. Doesn't it look like one of your aunt's legs? Yeah. That's like my aunt's leg.
Starting point is 01:09:35 You know what would be work? You have snow hair on your legs. You should tattoo. Look at how he stands. I know, look at his stance. I like how he stands. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You saw that on TikTok.
Starting point is 01:09:43 All right, get out of dance a shot. The stand like that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, You saw that on TikTok. All right, get out of there. Dominate a little bit. The stand like that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Get out of here, get out of here. You're freaking me out, man. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:09:52 He's such a weird guy. He's a weird guy. You love him, though. I don't know. Yeah, you do. I do. He's like your son. He is, but if he can be replaced,
Starting point is 01:09:59 Panini seems chill. She seems like she could be around. Yeah, yeah. Right? Panini, do you want to come back? Yeah, I'd love to. All right. Hi Panin.
Starting point is 01:10:07 All right, I guess we'll bring her back. Do you think Panini should stick around on the show? Yeah. Do you wanna come back on the show? I would come back whenever y'all would like. So we, our fans. Love you. Love you.
Starting point is 01:10:18 Oh, cool. I mean, I love you. We had really good numbers with you. Cool. What? I think we have a good camaraderie. Rapport. And rapport. Y'all are fun to talk to. Cool. What? I think we have a good camaraderie. Rapport. A rapport.
Starting point is 01:10:27 Y'all are fun to talk to. Yeah. Do you think there's a bond? Yeah. Yeah. Will you do me a favor the next time you come? Yeah. Have you ever shaved your face?
Starting point is 01:10:35 Yes. I usually just shave it like once a month. I wanna see you shaved. Okay. I'm so interested to see what your face looks like shaved. I've only seen you with a beard. Can you wear something else? Yeah. What do you want him to wear? He just wears the same old,'ve only seen you with a beard. Can you wear something else? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:10:45 What do you want him to wear? He just wears the same old, like maybe jazz it up a little bit. No, he looks great. Like a full button up? Yeah, full button up maybe. It would be funny to get him. A tie? For us to outfit you in like a...
Starting point is 01:10:58 Fubu. Yeah, Fubu. Yeah. I was gonna say hip hop clothing. Yeah. Or just like maybe some Ed Hardy, just try to bring it back, you know? But back to 2002? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:11:09 Okay, we could do something like that. European jeans, you know, with the little embroidery? Like zippers on the side. Yeah, yeah, what about that? It's not my style, but I could give it a try. Yeah. If you like, once. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:11:20 Do you wanna say anything in the camera to the girl in New York real fast, in case she watches this? Hi. Thank you for being a bad friend. Woo, yeah, woo, yeah.

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