Bad Friends - The Cookout & Dave Chappelle's Stage Stormer

Episode Date: May 9, 2022

Thank you to our Sponsors: http://shipstation.com code:  http://hellotushy.com/badfriends & https://betterhelp.com/badfriends &  https://upstart.com/badfriends YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriends 0:00 Welcome to the Cookout  4:02 Did Doc Storm Dave Chappell's Stage? 16:27 Andrew's Top Picks to Join Him on a Space Trip  22:17 Potato Salad Challenge 31:13 Rudy Eats Monitor Lizards 40:14 Faith in Humanity Restored 44:56 Bobby's Favorite Sad Story  48:41 The Only Thing that Makes Rudy Cry  59:23 The Joe Biden of China 1:05:37 It's the Government's Fault More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: Andres Rosende & Pete Forthun This podcast episode was sponsored by Candy Crush Sponsorships: on for this episode Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You two are bad friends! Who are these two idiots? White dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. Who are you two or something? We're bad friends! Anchor! If you haven't heard about anchor...

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That's today. Oh my God. No, is that today? Yes, Rudy, did you bring something to the cookout? You fucking called me. Yeah, because you're doing the show. Did you bring anything for the cookout? You told me to bring something for the cookout.

You were supposed to bring something for the cookout. Wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. No, no, don't point at the guys. What are those guys? What are they doing though? They're ashamed that you didn't bring something to the cookout.

Yeah, but why didn't they remind me to bring... Andreas, why didn't you remind me to bring something to the cookout? Because we recorded three days ago. Yeah, I knew you wouldn't. You knew that I wouldn't? Yeah, we knew you wouldn't do shit. You knew that I wouldn't do it? What a fucking piece of shit you are.

No, no, no. You, don't pass the buck to him. Yeah? You're a scumbag. You didn't bring shit to the cookout. All right, Juliana. And we did. I thought Andreas would text you.

Yeah, yeah. Did he text you? Yeah. Yeah, I can drop it. And you didn't remind me? Yeah. Okay, bring me my potato salad. So, hey...

Bobby, remind me yesterday. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Oh my God. Fuck you. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Fuck you and fuck you. You didn't bring shit. I brought my fucking potato salad.

You piece of shit. Now, where's your beers that you're going to bring? Did the fucking... First of all, they're in the fridge right now. Would you like a beer, Bobby? The beer that we're already in here you're supposed to bring fresh beer, dude. Oh, you want fresh beer? Yeah, dude Just where's the kimchi? It's right there, but what the fuck you told me to bring potato salad No, I told you to come put on the fucking show it and bring tomorrow

But you also told me yesterday to bring the potato salad. That's why I brought that he brought the potato salad No, I never thought I said you told me that yesterday. That's the only reason why I didn't even know I had to bring anything Because you told me that when you said do the show see now here's what we're gonna have to do Okay, here's what we're gonna have to do. Why are you talking to me in that? No, no, but why did you talk to me in that town because you be bullshit, you know First of all, I called you yesterday to do the show tomorrow night, right? You're like, ah, nah, nah I don't do the store. That was crazy No, I wasn't why because you already know we have this discussion on how I feel about the store

It's not a store-sponsored thing if you're part of the bad friends family But we're doing a bad friend's show at the comedy store and that's what I invited you to once I realized that I said, okay, right? Yeah, yeah, all right. I think he did you drink today? Welcome to the cookout welcome to the cookout Rudy. Do you want to explain what you brought? What is this? I brought us sponge cake that is very famous in the Philippines. It's called mamon. Mom one Mamon or we call it torta sometimes. Oh, no tortoise Mexico. Yeah, that's not yours. You can't just have that Wait, so is this it? Yeah, this is ube and senam and Ube and samada. Yeah, is this good. Does it need to be heated up? No. Yeah, is that cheese on top?

Yeah, they have cheese too down there. All right, so so oh, it's really soft Yeah, so do we all have to try this? Yeah, I've already had a couple so I'm past now What's inside of this as I get grossed out? What is that purple stuff that's in there? It's just cream purple cream Okay, wait a minute you want to try one of these ube and Sonan bus All right, and this is all the whole bag is filled with this right? Yeah, it's just one thing Do you guys want to try one? I don't get here Pete. Let's see if we can do this without knocking anything over Yeah, good catch Pete. Thank you

All right, so let me try one Let's try a little bit of ube and sonnabah because we want to try everybody's everything that we brought to the To the cook out here. What do you need? Luffy whoa good So what what is the he has hostility toward me this is good. It's good right? You know why he's how you know he's hostile why he just got out of jail. He's stormed the stage at Dave Chappelle I Was that you dr. No look like you I was like

Dude they beat the shit out of that good. Did you see the pictures of this guy? No, bring up the photo of this guy. Look at the guy that stormed it this fucking guy You know what happened after it was over. They gave him a couple more You know, yeah, they gave him a couple more. I don't know exactly what have I just know that he was assaulted He storms the stage and that's him the clearest one is like the fifth one down. Do you see it? Yeah, I got it right here. Oh, you do. Yeah. Oh my god, okay And why do you know why did he do it? Why did he do it? Well? I don't know motive yet, but apparently somebody said he had Oh, you don't

A Bobby Lee show assault. Nothing will happen. Yeah. Yeah attack Bobby because at his show it'll just give you a hug Yeah, yeah, but this guy got caught up in the matrix What's that called in black culture when that happens to this guy doc? Beat down getting beat down you get beat the fuck down Yeah, well, here's here's the deal So he tackles Dave and apparently he's got like a knife and or something that looks like a gun or a knife I can't I don't know the details and Dave got out of the way Good timing on Dave dodged. He is just your technique of dodging elephants. Yeah, look at that's what it is

It was a knife that looked like a gun You think he'll PTSD from it Dave. Yeah, no Oh, no, cuz he fuck they seem traumatic though. It looks like he won. Do you know what I mean? I know, but still he did win. Yeah, I mean, I understand that it just feels like Dave is like I Know maybe this is his security will get tighter No one will be able to access the stage period now. Yeah, how I just I just don't understand how because I've like been to like a Cure concert and like how do I get up there to attack me? I Wouldn't but I'm just saying how would you even be able to do it?

I mean use the Hollywood Bowl you've been you can walk right up to the stage. Yeah, I see I think I think what you can do is We're giving tips on how to do this What is this that you brought Pete? Is this a burrito? This is a sausage and pepper sauce each e-pepperoo It's a Italian cookout. Oh my god. This guy brought an entire sausage and pep He probably made it home to dude. Let me tell you something about salsa pep. Oh, it's nice and sticky Whoa, Bobby, you've never had sausage and peppers. Have you never you don't know nothing about it is a pet fair Italian or a sausage sus and pep. This is so good. Pete. Where'd you get this from? Italian market. It's called Mario's do me a huge favor. I'm not kidding. Take a bite of this

You're gonna fucking lose your mind. I had a meatballs sandwich, but you gotta you gotta How good is that? Come on tea hey tea this guy's over here talking shit You're gonna let him talk to you like that. You never watch the Sopranos. Did you? Yeah And the last thing we need to have you eat at the cookout is the potato salad and the kimchi and that you got to try all of it Who brought the potato salad was it Rudy on the way over here, where do we go? Ralph's yeah, who brought whose idea was it though to do Bobby's to pick it up and buy it. Yeah, don't do that

Don't do that because you know he didn't bring it. Can I have one of those I did bring it I? Wouldn't it what an unbelievable waste of food? I hope we don't air in a country where they're struggling to get food What you do you mean what I hope none of our fans are in countries where they can't Well, I looked it up and Ethiopia's Are we good? Oh huge. We're huge in Ethiopia. It's good to know we got fans. Yeah. Yeah No, yeah, so listen. Here's the bottom line Bob mm-hmm. You brought your salad. Yeah, and he brought his yeah, but the problem was

We wanted it homemade because you said black people in potato salad We make the best and we care about which one where it comes from. This is just vans. Yeah, I get it But why do you I wanted you to bring your potato salad? I don't have a fucking kitchen in my studio. If I would have one Wait a minute, wait, wait, how's that my problem? Let me can ask you some questions, okay, and I'm not assaulting you and I'm not Good basics. Yeah, let's go. Do you have a bathroom? Yes, okay with a shower on everything So you make wine in the toilet shower, but not a bathtub

You don't have a bathroom, but you have a shower. No. Yeah. Yeah, but you don't know I don't have a bathtub, but you don't you don't take baths. Do you dog? No shower But if you had a bathtub you would take a bath. No, you don't like that Oh, I love that when you wash yourself down and all that nut juice and all that sitting in there It's like a fucking What are you talking about, I don't know how much It must be just a faucet of fucking nudges Listen, okay

Black nut you what you do is this I don't plug in the fucking thing at first What I do is I let the faucet run in the bath. I stick my asshole to it And I take pine tar soap. That's what I use, right? And I stick the bar inside the asshole in it and I wash it out Yeah, then my nut juice I squirt out some of the little fucking You know, I don't have as much as you do I have like three little squirts. Yeah, not just not just not just right and I wash out my dick, right? And then I plug it up. So all the nut juice and shit juice is all

In the drain, baby. All in the drain. Yeah, and then I put hot water in and it's an absence salt Right, and I take a little bath. Yeah, and it's relaxing. You ever bath bomb. Yeah, sometimes I'll go do it like lush Don't you love the wash? Oh, I love it. The rainbow ones where it makes all the colors bubble up on me Yeah, like it's like did Ellen turn John Farton here? I thought you said Ellen at first. Yeah, that would also work. So the joke would have been better if I would have said it right Did Ellen John Farton? Yeah, I fucked up the joke. That's Elton John and Ellen together. Yeah, Ellen John Ellen John Farton here now. Do you take baths Rudy? No, I don't like it Why because you because it was like a was it an evil thing back in the Philippines? No, I just can't

rest Don't you rest in the bath? What? What? Don't you rest? That's what white people do. Yeah, we just hang out. Yeah, I can't do that What do you mean whites do it? He does it too. Yeah You think it's only a white thing. That's what I see in TVs. What were the showers like in the Philippines? Did they time you there's no shower? You just have a tub a bucket. Yeah, and then you just do that Relaxed is that relaxing? Yeah Yeah, it's relaxing. Yeah, but you got to get through it before the water gets cold. Yeah, there's no hot water

Boil it. No, no, there's all cold. Yeah, is the water where's the water from the river? We have a tank a well No tank, so it's a water tank. Yeah, they put they put the river water In the water tank, right? It's clean. It's clean. Where's the water from the water? I'm not making fun of you. I don't know. But I see like trucks and they just put water in Yeah, it's the same truck that uses the porta-potties Yeah, so you got to get immune system man. Oh, yeah, cuz you know cuz you know when you take a cold shower Here we go, this is black

Like three times Start so when you take cold showers what happens is your body gets cold Breaking on and then you fucking blood gets the fucking, you know, can I have a theory though? I know well I know like cold baths are really good for you have to work out so I go to that when I go to this Korean spa I'll go to the it may heighten your immune system Yeah smoking may kill you You may be six feet tall

I have a theory that going to the hot sauna and then going into the coal plunge and going bathroom back and forth Will elevate my life extend. Well, they do say do like doing that is good It tricks your body so it is good for you like you've ever done cryotherapy. No, what's that? Oh, give me can we go? Yeah, I'll do cryo is amazing. I mean you basically are in like a freezing tank. You're standing up in like a it uses Look at that. There's cryo right there Look at that negative two hundred forty three Wow, does it build Luke warm and then it builds or is this cold up front? No, it's freezing fucking cold Fucking outer space is minus two seventy five. That's fucking shit

Yeah, well, you got to wear gloves and stuff and you got to protect yourself Otherwise, you'll get frostbite and die and you can only be there for I don't even know it's a it's really quick Did you know in 2029 2028 or 2029 there's gonna be space resorts Don't get him's now you're getting him started on NASA shit. Yeah. Yeah, so there's gonna be space resorts And I might book a weekend there. How much is it? I don't know how much it's gonna be but That's what I heard space resort. You can go to space. Yeah, there's a resort in a hotel in seven years. Yeah Fuck the flight alone world's first space hotel will open in 2027. Yeah, do you want to go in on a vacation home? Let's 55 yeah, I'm so down. We have time share. Can I go? No, no

Why not? You're so skinny you float away. Yeah fucking abyss I Want to see space. Nah, look at the sky. Yeah, look at that space. You're in space right now. Yeah Space tourism is no longer stuff of the science fiction or just around the corner aside from private missions This says It's gonna have 2027. Wow. So where is it Mars got to be Mars? No, it's just it's just probably Floating just floating. Yeah, it's just no like I'm not that far from earth. Take me to a planet or fuck off. I want to go to another planet

Can we start with just floating in space and then we could have other planets? I don't want to I'm gonna go right to the thing Yeah, I wanted to go right to the best ride when we went to fucking Six Flags What did we do? Do we start off with some bullshit or do we do the fucking x2? Why am I fuck why would I don't want to go toy around it? Just take me to the fucking planet I gave her a scenario there where we're driving and I go if there was a planet, right? That had the same, you know atmospheric conditions that earth did, right? But we didn't do nothing about it Would you just move there forever? And she said yes, I would I immediately

That's insane. What else do I have to live for down here? Your wife? Get a new fucking wife in space space pussy You don't know Andrew Andrew. Yeah. Yeah, great to meet you. I've been waiting for you. I have 75 vaginas You can fuck all of them. Imagine. Yeah, imagine. You don't know what they got though. No, there's there's gotta be a couple of damaged ones Two of them bite your dick off It's like Russian roulette Real nice though. Yeah, but you got to find them. Yeah. Yeah the Kepler data Calculated the Milky Way could harbor as many as six billion earth-like planets

Well another estimated the number of potentially habitable planets in our galaxy about 300 million You're telling me you wouldn't take the opportunity to go live on another planet No, you would survive. Okay, you're not gonna die right away Yeah, you could because we don't know what the kind of viruses are on the planet No, no, no, but you just did say it was the same atmosphere as here so we can breathe just find out Oxygen and water and water, but we don't know what viruses. There's probably new viruses. They're very good. What he's right You never know what to fucking agree with me. Thank you so much. Now. Do you regret though now? He's on your side Let me tell you something. Yeah, I don't give a fuck what viruses exist up there or creatures

We don't know what kind of creatures live there You'll be embedded in history forever for being one of the first people to go try it I would rather be that but let me ask you this then fucking die just doing this podcast But you have to bring six people and what six would you bring you why I? Could use you as a shield I just feel like I would be the experimental guy. Yeah, okay. No, Bob. Come on. Yeah, just go down. Yeah, and I go in the cave And I'm dead. Well, we can't go in there. Yeah, I would bring I would bring griff air griffin Why oh, I know why well food sampling

He would eat anything taste that Then you have to bring a sacrificial lamb, you know what that is, right? Yeah, you know if the if the creatures are like You know, we need one of you and then we'll let you go free. Who do I bring? See that's what's disgusting. Yeah, she loves it. Yeah, she thinks it's gonna be some kind of alien orgy That's why she wants to go. Yeah Would you bring doc? For science. We need the science guy No, no, no, I'll bring I would bring you but you I you'd have to shut the fuck up about

Despair because I would he'd be sitting there whole all day. Yeah, you know, I was reading this I was reading the Pentagon report. Yeah, these little rocks I know Ron and on and like you'd be exhausted and another thing he would be doing is he drift away, right? And he tried to pick up like berries. Mm-hmm And then you'd like like build like some like wood apparatus. What are you doing? I'll make a wine Cuz we wouldn't allow the wine, but you would Okay, let me ask you this What if it was survivor style though, you dropped off at that planet you still would do it and

and If dinosaurs dinosaurs We can buy dinosaur. Yeah But if dinosaurs were still roaming that particular planet, I love this you still do it. No, that's but you've added too many You've added too many shaky elements. Oh, you're what you're saying is is that we get captured and we get dropped off there at some sort of experiment All right, so what you're saying is it if we can't choose who we get dropped off with then do we You can still oh Whatever makes you car the alien comes down goes

We're gonna capture you but you get to choose the five that you get captured with or no I thought I think they would just randomly. They're very diplomatic like that. Yeah, okay Let me say this if dinosaurs were on any of these places I would never go You're done You're absolutely fucking if it weren't for the asteroid that killed those fucking things We wouldn't exist the only reason I think that happened universally is to save human race or you know Whatever we came from to eventually get us to be this point because dinosaurs We're gonna roam this thing

We're created by the devil to make us think there were dinosaurs. Okay. Can you believe that? Because the earth has only been around for like three or five thousand five thousand years So just just a little bit longer than we've been here. Yeah. Yeah seems weird. Yeah Don't we have proof that there's fucking 10,000 year old it's all it's fake. Yeah. Yeah trick us huh to not to believe in the Bible Well, yeah, I got it. I like this devil To not believe in the Bible Hello to see you guys Honestly, I've always had a dirty butthole since I've known you yes, since you've known me

But no but since you've known me because in our old studio and this studio we have the tushy We got that to us. My butthole is clean as a whistle, buddy I could eat off of it. You guys honestly It's like a game changer for your life the time for spring cleaning is upon us do more than just dust your cabinets and organize your closets Yeah, spleen spleen sprain clean your butthole with hello tushy bidets after wiping with dry scratchy Toilet paper all went too long our bums could use a serious refresh Put your clean cleanest booty forward and start washing that with the hello tushy. Let me tell you something love the tushy because

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Join them and take care of your business the cleaner way. We want all of our listeners to have clean Bums visit hello to she comm slash bad friends to get 10% off plus free shipping right now Tag us and at hello to see on social media so we can celebrate your clean, but with you That's hello to she comm slash bad friends for 10% off better help Hey life can be very overwhelming many tell me that again burnt out You know and bummed without even knowing it and you can be hello without motivation You can feel helpless or trapped attachment fatigue and so much more and these are all signs that you may need to get a little bit of I have a solution you got one because I've been using better help and it's it's you know all the

The the the sadness and the trauma and all that it's been relieved. I feel free as a little a fly baby a little fly baby Yeah, yeah, we associate burnout with work, but that's not the only cause Any of our roles in life can lead us to feel burned out and better help online therapy wants to remind you to prioritize Prioritize yourself talking with someone can help you figure out that what's causing stress in your life. Yeah, so look Bob and I both talked about this We use it. I do love it. I do think that perhaps Online therapy might be right for you. You don't have to go to a weird office. You can stay at home Which Bob loves mm-hmm. It's customized online therapy from better help that offers video and phone even live chat sessions Your therapist you don't have to turn on your camera if you don't want to and it's much more affordable than in-person therapy

And you can be matched with a therapist in under 48 hours, but you Jules How can they get the deal Jules bad friends listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash bad friends That's better H-e-l-p.com slash bad friends zombie apocalypse though, right? I would definitely bring you know Why is that because you're small load of the ground your load of the ground you can get us stuff Yeah, go to the fucking galsons man, Bobby. You only inch taller than me, but go ahead. Yeah, but that inches a dead giveaway They see him that yellow beanie. They're gonna see for my eye. Yeah, I always wear my beanie You and at night we can just you know let you go

And you can just scramble on the earth down to wherever you need to go grab stuff and then come right back I imagine a dog is a zombie. We just let him in let him in. It's not scary at all He's just he's gonna do it. He's just drunk Yeah, yeah, yeah drunk zombie. Yeah, come on back. I'll tell you just taking a nap. I'll still have my Do a dog zombie impression do the combo. All right? Yeah, look I want to say this before we continue on with the fun this What is this called again my moon my moon shit? This stuff's fucking good. Yeah, shout out to my moon Okay, you like the Italian sub. Mm-hmm pretty good. Do you don't want to break into the potato salad? Do you what about my own? So I'm gonna try my some of mine

So doc says that there's is there a ranking system to potato salad? Yeah, really where depends on yo I want you to try both of these and tell me which one is better. What do we do this you guys put two on a plate Oh, yeah, mix it about yeah, and see which one's better and see which one he says go over there be I you know so this one's doc this one's mine. That's so good. This is so fun This is like a Pepsi challenge. Yeah, that's fine. Yeah, when they're like this one's way better. I'm a coke fan They're like man. It was Pepsi. Yeah, I never believed that I thought it was oh It was always the other one anyway, or they put Pepsi in both and I was like this is a fucking scam another thing I asked

This is Juliana was in the car right over I said What drugs have you tried she goes I haven't tried any drugs except from weed. Yeah, and then I go um If Harry Styles was shooting heroin. Oh, come on. Would you shoot heroin with them? And she said yes Are you serious you would do that, but that's never gonna happen who the fuck knows this show is getting pop Yeah, I don't know do you would really do that if it's with Harry, then yeah You would do anything would you murder another human being if Harry Stills says I'd fuck you. Yeah. Wow. Wow Well, what if you said okay? How about would you would you murder another human being?

He said he would just give you a hug hug I'm trying to find out your boundaries Kiss okay, you get a kiss, but no tongue just a little a quick peck you got a murder a human being You're someone specific you have to murder Kalilah. No, I can't would you have sex? Well, if he said I'll have sex with you if you murder Kalilah This is good I have to oh my you have to kill Kalilah. I think I will understand. Yeah, she but I fucking wouldn't And I would kill you. What would it take if you said you had to kill Tito Bobby?

What would you need in exchange for that just a hug just a hug? That was funny and that was the right answer, but that was wrong. Hey, dude, this is a comedy show Yeah, I like all right. She's right. All right. So doc wait, do you so you know which one's which okay? Okay, so you know so doc give it to doc and let's have a little taste test And let's see which one he thinks is better, but I also like the food network you got to tell me why you know You when you watch whenever they're like this is better and data. Give me real reasoning to why you think this is better Which one did you try first number one? Okay, put the mic a little bit closer to you so we can hear so what okay? So number one now now give some descriptions about it nice sweet smooth taste to it

Okay Is that number two now number two? Number two is beautiful. It's good. Oh, yeah That's all like that came this feel like it came fresh out of the daily section Mine came out of the container so my ship is in a product about three four days Yeah, which one which one is better number two which one was number two Pete Docs that was the one So so what what's the proof of all this you don't know shit? I

Yours was frozen three times Unfrozen put back on a shelf This is why I call bullshit what I still know number. I still know cuz I picked number two No, no, no, you even said it wasn't yours. You literally went out of say mine. This is my yeah, cuz I didn't even taste it What it was a brand new box No, I know but you you pick the one that wasn't yo that was yours thinking it wasn't gonna be when you just Exactly, but what I'm trying to tell you is You ever had the the black bombs do the three-card Molly on you same thing. All right, so

Sometimes sometimes in you know and in very heavy touristy areas Yeah, there'll be a guy who has three cards three card Molly, you know three bent in half and he'll do this I'll show up and go which one's the you know and you have to pick and then it's a trick There's a it's a simple way of hiding a card that should be yours that isn't yours It's a it's a but FYI this kimchi. Yeah. Oh I've had this We have don't we have this in a hole. It's not even open. Yeah. Yeah, this is from Whole Foods Yeah, I've had this shit before. Yeah, it's terrible. Look at this. It says from Japan. Yeah. Yeah, that's why it's not good

Yeah This is also Well, okay, so these last week we talked about the ingredients. Yeah, you can't are these some of these ingredients not not not good for kimchi then Cabbage obviously yellow onion green onion red chili pepper flakes Salt fresh peeled garlic fresh ginger organic sugar fish sauce ginger. I don't think is a thing. Is it not a thing for kimchi? Why am I asking you? You're not fucking crazy Fresh ginger me organic sugar fish salt salted shrimp salted shrimp. Yeah, have you had a kimchi before? No No, no, no, there is no shrimp in this. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I want to try some

That's what I was gonna ask you. Yeah, if you had shrimp would you die? Yeah, probably because my throat is swell and shit like that Let's find out Is there shrimp in there? No, no, honestly most kimchi doesn't have shrimp in it. I think they're saying Like a salted shrimp flavoring you can look at yourself. No, I can't. So here's how I'm explaining One time I have to say all the ingredients alive live live on bad friends. Yeah Swell up and then you your eyes would roll back and the throat closes whatever happens. Yeah. Yeah, well, let's see

So also shellfish Not all of them. Well, yeah I don't know every single one. So I've had lobster. No, can't do lobster can't do shrimp can't do clams Okay, muscle crap Can't do muscles. Uh-huh. You could just say see I can eat certain fish though. Oh certain fit what are the fish you can't have like salmon. Can you have? Yeah, tuna? Yeah, okay. Well, what are the ones you can't know? What orange ruffy? It's a kind of fish But the idea that you know like how often are you seeing orange fucking off of it?

I don't know what to tell you. Where did you try orange ruffy? It might have been a restaurant That's what orange ruffy. It's actually quite good snapper. Can you eat catfish? Yeah, okay? Look at what it looks like. Yeah, that's not kind of like me. It looks like one of my ancestors I'm a fewer fish. That would be that's where I came from for sure. I'll angry have any No, is it is it legal like shark fin soup over the whole foods shark. Yes, you could buy shark at Whole Foods Yeah, what once in a while shark fin? I thought it was illegal No, have you tried monitors lizard? Oh, here we go. I know we're going to the jungle

Wait continue go ahead. Yeah, so let me ask you something. All right. Did you just say have you ever tried? Monitor lizard. Yeah, okay. What is that? It's like a really big lizard that there's it's a lot in the Philippines And they just make it their pets monitor lizard. Yeah, they make it their pets But then you said have you tried it so do they eat their pets? Yeah, look at the fucking size of that thing Look at that fucking thing you eat that fucking That's like a Komodo dragon What does it taste like let me guess yeah, yeah, they all taste like chicken. Yeah, it's good So so how do you cook it? You just grill it?

Yeah, grill it or just fry it. That's what my uncle did. Well, let me ask you some others monitor food You feed it, but then you eat it I guess if you do you get it as a pet until you run out of food and then you have to eat it? Is that kind of how it works? I guess who could afford it as a pet? Obviously someone that has a lot of money. No, like anyone they just but then when do they decide if they're going to eat it or not? When they're hungry. Yeah. Yeah, okay. What is this a bandung bay walk? That's that's what it looks like when you eat it. That's monitor lizard. Wow. Wow. Wow. Let me tell you something zoom in on that. Yeah Yeah, that's good. That does not look good. That's the opposite of good. It looks good. Yeah, it does

I can't even see I can't even I can't there's not an american dish or any dish. I've ever seen that go Oh, it looks like that. That's right. Yeah, that looks like something Out of this world you have to try it You know what that looks like if I clean out my my the compost thing under my sink if stuff gets good That's what it looks like. Yeah It looks right right after that choppy thing in my sink when it gets clogged up. That's exactly what's underneath Do you want me to bring that next time? Yeah, or you know, you know, you know, you go in the dryer and then you have that thing And then all that

Yeah, I mean like are those poo seeds? I mean what what's in there? That is that is not and they left some skin on so you eat some of the skin crispy. Yeah. Oh, it's crispy Yucky yucky yucky buddy. Yeah, I would fry it to the point where it was just like you could just only taste the charcoal Exactly. So if I was on the show alone then and that's only day eight That's a what really what if we run alone and we're you and I were in the tundra and we haven't eaten they did and we saw a monitor Well, I would eat it way before that if I'm on a day four I did a day one if I could get it And alone that show that show how about this I proposed it on this show before

And I've said it again and I'm gonna say it again. Yeah, I want fancy to reach out to naked and afraid Yeah, and I want to do it with you. I would look will you do naked and afraid with me? We got we got to bring him. I think there's only two people that are a lot But okay, we'll get a three man. We gotta do a three man Will you please reach out to naked and afraid to see if we can do us three on naked and afraid number one I want to see him scared and naked I'm not trying to be on fucking naked and afraid. Why what here's gonna ask you would y'all eat bugs? Yeah, yeah, don't go from naked and afraid to bugs. Stop jumping around. Yeah. Yeah. Let's talk about naked and afraid

Why wouldn't you want to be naked and afraid with us? I want to ask you this is a weird scenario. I don't know what it's on television You know famous. You'll be go get the fuck. He blew out the dick I don't care if you don't a dick or not. It's just weird to just be out there naked with you two goddamn Our ancestors did this. Yeah, what's so weird about it? I think our ancestors like Okay, how about this what our ancestors what what do you mean? Fucking more like a leaf dress, you know, I'm saying you get something to cover up your penis cover it up. Oh, okay With you, it's not a lot. I don't know. I guess it's my problem. I thought it was like rubbing cocks and a little pebble

I can't hear you when you're talking Go ahead. We got a doc. All right. I just say like I just thought we'd be like rubbing cocks and eating monitors You think that if we were on naked and afraid we'd be rubbing cock to be fire. What the fuck you're talking about? I got my own bow drill It's insane insane. Oh, it's just you and I then. Yes. Okay. Okay. You and I will you propose that fancy? Will you please reach out to them and also? Yeah, I have I have a festival that I want us to go to Show him the festival that I found today a four day sex island party. Okay A sex island party in las vegas

Oh, what is it? You can have a hundred. It's like a hundred prostitutes per guy Okay, first of all, number one. Do we get um passes from our girlfriends and wives? Well, we have to ask them. It's for the show Oh, it's for show. This is for the show. That's for show. This is for the show, right? I think I think it's have you doc. Have you ever done that? No, no, I've never went to a brothel But have you had a brothel? Trap house. Yeah, a trap house. Yeah. Okay. Do you know what a trap house is? No trap house is like the drug house. It's like a Yeah, you so you've had sex at the trap house. I got blow jobs here Oh, you told us about that from from people that were on crack. There you go

Yeah, that's worse, but that's fun, but you didn't pay them You gave them crack. I guess you paid them in a way. Yeah. Yeah. They come they come new normally They come to you anywhere. Yeah, they're there and you're like, you know, listen You're like, look you got a mouth. I got some crack Yeah, let's go on there to get a bit and then when you're a kid like, you know, I mean you ready to get them blow jobs I would be so bad at selling crack Oh, you would be why could you do it all? I would just give it away. I'd feel so bad when people like come on, man I just like here dude. Get out of here. This is you're scaring me

I was downtown with my friend Kalisto many many years ago and a crack at it And I I gave him 40 bucks and then I remember my friend Kalisto grabbed me and he goes your piece of shit. I go why he goes All he's gonna fucking do is buy crack with that. Why'd you do that? And I go because I didn't have any crack on me. Yeah What did you want me to do? Yeah, imagine if he asked for some change And I gave him crack instead. You know how happy you would be. That's exactly doesn't have to go to you know, I mean I was you know, there's no middleman right at that point. Hey, man. You got some crack. You're like, I do

Yeah, because they don't want they don't want your money because they need to get one crack because your money is another step Yeah, now I need to go get the crack. Yeah, there is that idea that like if you give homeless people money They'll get liquor or some do something bad with it. So what? Yeah, but for me, it's like I just want them to be happy I give them money all the time me too. I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck Life's too short to me think about what they're gonna do with the money because they might buy crack But they also might buy Jonas brothers tickets. So they're not concert. Yeah, you never know or they might go to aspen Or they might go to Dave Chappelle at the Bowl and attack Imagine a guy's like I'm just saving just enough money to run on stage to buy a Dave Chappelle ticket

So I can run on stage. Are y'all serious y'all give to to every homeless person? Not everyone but every once in a while if I have some spare cash I might do it if I if I have a little bit of money in my pocket You know what you know when I do it the most when I leave the store If I'm leaving the club and I'm going through Hollywood and there's somebody begging Yeah, I'm gonna give it to him because why you say it like you don't you don't fucking believe in that shit No, no, no, it's not that I just don't I thought you might meant like you run to the ATM come back and bring him a little crisp. No, that's insane

No, we don't do that. I'm not gonna go to the I'm not gonna go out of my way. And if he dies in the meantime Although there was one incident when I was at the comedy store And it was there during the day to pick up a check and I remember I'm gonna name his name but um, he Very funny comic But he would relapse and he would always do crack Right, and so he was there during the day just hanging out in the parking lot, right? And he came up to me and he was and he had scat he had a fucking

Lesion on his face like somebody had busted open and a blood clot on his face was fucking crazy And he had no shoes and he's a really funny guy. I was there that day too. You were there. You remember that? Oh, yeah, you know who was don't say the name. Yeah, I know exactly you do remember. So I'm not making this. Oh, yeah Yeah, yeah, and I go, um, I'll get you a hotel room instead Okay, because he asked for cash And I didn't want him to die from doing drugs, right? So I've twice that's happened in my life My other friend Louie the same thing happened. Okay Louie and he um, he had relapsed and I go

I'll get you a nice hotel for like three days, but I'm not gonna buy you I'll give you money Because I don't want them to die. But I think the problem is Then you just gave them a place to do crack That's true, that is true. I didn't think it through. I'm not getting you crack, but I'm gonna get you a roof over your head to do Crack, yeah That's tuition. What do you do though? No, dude, you didn't do you look what do you do? You're you're you're you're damned if you do you're damned if you don't so you just have to do it

And then hope that they make something that it works for them. Yeah Yeah, I had one of those moments the other day I cried at like a fucking youtube video because it was this I think he had autism and he was like kind of finicky in a in a guitar store and uh What she doesn't have autism at all. I'm just but I mean he was very nervous and he just acted very like Uncomfortable and he was trying to buy a guitar and it was 200 dollars. Okay, and the guy said There's nothing funny about this by the way. It was just sweet. I got but here's what

Here's the challenge. Hold on. Hold on. The challenge is I want you to find the funny. I know I'm gonna You know, I'm looking for that as I say it Here's the challenge. No, but as he the guy says He says, okay, how much is his 200 dollars with the guitar in the case he goes You don't know how long I've been looking for this. I mean, he was dude He was like he needed it so bad And the guy says well, how much you have he said I just got paid So is there a way for me to put some on a card and some on a thing and he says, yeah, yeah

Yeah So that's him do you get 150 on this and then he says he has 50 or something on that and the guys I go with taxes It's like 220 or something. So he's short 20 dollars. And he goes, oh And he keeps looking at his wallet. He's doing that thing. It's like almost like cartoonish He keeps looking at his wallet like something might fall out And then a woman goes How much more do you need? And he goes I'm putting it on layaway. They're gonna put it on they'll hold it for me for six weeks until I can

Muster up 20 more dollars and she goes I'll just pay for it And it and it made me cry Because I was like this is faith in humanity restored now the other part that they didn't show Was that he had to fuck the shit out of this old pig for giving him 20 dollars There's the funny No, but he got but it was sweet. It was so sweet. Honestly, I'm being serious. No, that was really, you know It was just it just made me go off. Why didn't you you have money? Why didn't you jump in? It was a video. Oh my god. I've had um debt problems in my life

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Check your rate in minutes for loans between $1,000 to $50,000 without impacting your credit score That's huge and you can even receive funds as fast as one business day after accepting your loan So don't wait check your rate today at upstart.com slash bad friends That's upstart.com slash bad friends to check your rate today Don't forget to use our url to let them know we sent you loan amounts will be determined based on your credit income And certain other information provided in your loan application go to upstart.com slash bad friends Of course, of course, I would what do you mean you wouldn't give them $20? You would not $200 guitar nothing for like 75 bucks or something like that. I gotta hear man

There's people starving in Africa going up. I'm going with that guy. Oh, are you helping people starving in Africa? That's right. How much money have you sent to Africa doc? I haven't seen the goddamn doc. Well, they shut the fuck up I'm not giving the dude $20 for $400 what are you talking about? Well, whatever the case is I'm not giving for a guitar. That's that's a luxury Okay, you know what? I hope that guy writes a song about how much he doesn't like you Speaking of the saddest thing I've seen on youtube can I tell you the saddest video I've seen on youtube? I don't want to see the whole thing. Let's not play it. But it's this cambodian tv show. I'm already crying Cambodia does it for me

And it's a reunion show when people were ripped apart by the cameo rouge and the war Okay, and so they reunite people right and um a woman gets reunited with her sister Right, and they hadn't seen each other since they were kids Right, which makes you cry immediately, right? But then there's a third surprise and I don't want to ruin it for people don't ruin it Yeah, yeah, but there's a third surprise and once you see the third surprise

Bro, that's it. If you don't cry turn. Yeah, turn on the water works. Yeah. Yeah, it's really good It's really what's the name of the show so people can look it up. Um, uh, gook family It's cambodian show where sisters get yeah, you just put cambodian reunited and that's the first video We can actually fast forward it to the end. Yeah, that's it Can we just fast forward it to the end and to get to the surprise? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah Okay, I'll just give it away. Fuck it. All right I'll just give it away. Fuck it right. Yeah, just yeah roll it in the background. Yeah. Yeah, so the two sisters get reunited and Then the lady goes

Well, here's a family photo and they're the both sisters like wait a second That is us as kids, but we haven't seen this photo in 40 years So where'd you get the photo? They found the mom shot up. Yeah, that's the photo right there. Yeah, that's the photo right there. They found the Hey, man, you can't hit me with surprise You gotta fucking slow that shit. All right. Yeah, you already they already did the read that's the reunion So go back. No, no, no, leave it do the reveal do the reveal first go back go back go back Yeah, that because so now she's going they haven't revealed it yet. Don't be scared act normal. Yeah. Yeah, that's the mom

Right. So, uh, wow. Yeah She's scared and why did the kids get lost? Is it they gave up the kids for no they got split during the war? There's bombs going on people running. God. They turn it up now a little bit turn it up It's a rough language. It's so unattractive. I was just doing the same thing There's no way to be romantic with that opposite of french It's like so hard to Oh She kind of doesn't believe it's her. She's like, who who is this? Yeah, it could be anybody. I mean

She's like you look chinese. Yeah, it could have been sandro in a way It doesn't matter. So no watch. Here's the third nothing to compare to this will just you wait. Well, yeah push pause It would have been a great though. You have right before they're in braves Or just a heart implodes as she does. I mean, how that would have been she's like Mung duck duck duck is hit him hard man. That's it man. Water up Oh god bless doc. Oh man. That's from special shit. How do you feel about that Rudy? Um It was sweet doesn't give a shit

Remember I tried to show you this video a couple years ago. You didn't even watch it. Yeah, she doesn't like it What you don't like to feel, huh? I like to feel sometimes. What do you like to feel? Harry Styles Harry no, what do you feel? Yeah, this isn't it. You know, this doesn't get yet. I think this comes with age I think you can't appreciate this stuff to your. Yeah, yeah Then once you get older you've never seen you've never felt loss No, yeah, yeah And when you feel lost and and that and I think when that happens you'll start those feelings were I don't know

Maybe no, you're right. I don't know when you go through some sort of trauma or loss There's something that happens when you see stuff like that. It makes you get Emotional because you know what it felt like. You know what the that all those emotions you don't have any fucking emotions No, yeah, we gotta buy we gotta get you some emotion I don't know She's a special one. Well, the worst part is like if she did like, you know If she killed Kalilah for to bone Harry Styles like she'd be even happier about death So it'd be it'd be working in reverse. Yeah, it's like she's never gonna get back to a good place. Yeah, you're gone forever, huh?

Jesus Christ, yeah, yeah, that doesn't do anything to you though that really watching that doesn't even It was nice. What do you mean? It's nice nice to look at. Yeah, I like the dresses like when they hug Oh, that was but you didn't cry What? Yeah, right her response is why why would I cry? Yeah What would make her cry about that? Yeah, what would make you cry do you think dogs? Oh So if two dogs

Right, and here's your mom dog Do dog Yeah Yeah, dog reunited. Yeah reunited just right dog reunited This is gonna get you this will get you. I don't think it will you ice-cold bitch Oh my god the dog Look at that with its owner Oh, they don't really know that woman that well

Oh a licky face Oh, you just start the red rocket comes out Look at that Rudy No, the saddest one Is army sold whenever it's soldiers when the dog There's one where a dog is literally crying at his master's grave site. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and you can he's going To Oh, yeah, it's helping and puffing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I remember that. It's husky, right? It's a husky. Yeah. Yeah

That that this if this doesn't get you Yeah, you're Holy fuck, this is is actually killing me Why would they put that one right after? Yeah, because when another dog is gone, they can't believe it Oh See oh, this is dying owner. Oh man. Hey man This is gonna turn into like a your mom's house No, no, no, no, I can't see this

Turn it off, man And worse Yeah The next one is a dog wearing a wetsuit diving in to save six other dogs. Jesus Christ. Whoever put that together Yeah, has no gay who has no gauge of how extremism works They're like, oh, there's a dog crying on it's um on the old owner's grave And then four dogs in the street that were bludgeoned by cars pawing at each other's face. It's just that was a little It's too much too much way too much. Yeah, let me ask you this. Okay. Is there a movie that you cried on?

Oh, I cried I cried a million movies all the time all the time. Okay. Give me I'll give you one scene That makes me cry every time the last second of the movie magnolia Uh, what's at the end there? So Jossi Riley is dating this girl this girl was molested by her dad in the movie, right the talk Like he was I remember the movie. Yeah talk to a host or whatever. Yeah, and he's You know going I want to be with you and we're gonna do all these things and it's just a fucking camera shot On the girl's face and she's look looking at him with tears in her eyes, right? And the last second she looks in the camera and she smiles

It's so fucking good. Oh It makes me it's like redemption. Oh, it's like feeling safe. I felt it when you said it Yeah, what makes you cry then doc. Do you have something in your mind? She gladiator when the motherfucking when she's like holding him and he's dying and then she's like go to him And they show his family and then his wife is like her hand go across the thistles right there that hand across the thistles That's it. I'm fucking tears. I'm in that motherfucker. Boom. I cry every time What did you just say fancy? It's the music the music. Yeah It's like god damn it. What were you Jules? What have you cried on?

Oh It's the dog movie hot air bud I do get it every time I see her but I start Hot chico What hot chico hot chico. Yeah C.h.i. It's an anime. Is it a fucking anime? No, it's not anime I've never heard of hot chico the movie in my entire fucking life. That's the movie What is this who's in the Richard fucking gear?

Richard gear. Does he jam the fucking dog in his asshole? Bring up the trailer That would make me cry too Do you even know what he's at what he's joking about? No, it's an urban legend. I don't think it's true But there was always this urban legend and I don't know what I came from Oh, where Richard gear stuck a gerbil in his asshole. What's a gerbil? It's like a little mouse a little hamster Why I don't know why what what is that urban? How did that even come about that urban legend? Of the er the er what the show that he went to the emergency room and they had to get it out of him

That's really that's where the rumor comes from. Oh, wow. Hey, who knows if it's true though. Is it true? How could you they're not gonna fucking they'll have that removed Highly questionable cultural history of Richard gear's ass gerbil The article doesn't help me not Yeah It's called gerbiling. Yeah, that's what it's called when you do when you put gerbils in your butthole Gerbiling gerbiling. Yeah, and you got to leave little pieces of food up there for it to find It's animal cruelty, right

For some people. No, but the animal dies, right? There's no animal that comes out alive. Really? Yeah, if it I mean if I stuck you in an elephant's asshole for how long For more than 15 seconds you'd be dead if I could get A little bit of air. I'd be okay. I mean some people say eating monitor lizards is bad You see what I'm saying. Yeah, it's fine. It's normal. You see and gerbiling might be normal in some cultures Some people might be have been gerbiling might have been the way that they found god I don't want to question someone's religious. Yeah, you know, but is it is this is explore a little bit

Um, is this sensation? I would think is to feel something die inside you. That's doc Well, fuck Maybe a little hamster or something just take that little take that little patter of the feet and anybody out there that likes to make art For the show like and by the way, I want to say at curio studios. We love this guy This dude makes such great art anybody that likes to make art for the show go ahead and make a gerbiling doc No We love gerbiling doc So go back real quick to this movie. I need to see oh that does curio art studios

That's our guy that that makes great art for us. We love this dude Go ahead and say it your way fancy because you know, Eddie Carrillo. Yeah enough You let him do that once and he because he's that good. Can I do it live on the show? I'm like I want to see the trailer for hachiko. Yeah trailer for hachiko. It's from the director of choco lot Did this fucking movie? Wow It's a based on a true story too. Is this it? Yeah This is just a story about a guy who fucking adopted a dog and it works out Yeah, but at the end something happens. The dog dies. No

The gear dies. Yeah, the dog waited for him at the train station But he didn't know because he didn't know he was dead He got dark keep going. Let's see. They're not gonna show anything about him dying. Yeah He's always waiting. Yeah. All right pause it Really responsible to let this dog just roam around town. Do you know what I mean? He can get hit with a car so easily Otherwise my dog waiting for me at the train station because he had to go six miles to get here Richard gear Yeah, that was fucking mean let him roam around this small and here's another thing just to talk about this

Remember the cambodian video I showed you earlier? What if they were in town? There'd be no hachiko Wait that same that same shot Dude that same shot of of him looking under that cloth where the dog supposed to be and it's just those three women Dude you're cracking me up right on it. You know why why Because I saw this video. It's on youtube where the dog goes and he's his owner dies And he just goes to the same spot and just wait. Oh, yeah

Yeah, that's gotta be with the thumb ball. Oh, we just watched it. That became real. Yeah, it is on youtube. We just Now what do you mean the real story? Yeah. Yeah. Well, where the fuck is the real one? That's gotta be better than this one That didn't get me Yeah, I just that didn't get me not like the cambodian woman story. Oh, no hot hot. There it is That's give me the fucking real one. You either real. Let me see a photo of this the faithful pup Oh, oh, oh and they oh first of all it was an asian guy. Yeah, it was a story. So I you're wrong No, no, no, I'm talking about there is a real live like united states thing to happen I know but it's not that movie. It's not based on that movie

But I felt it. Okay. It's fine. It's fine. So wait a minute. This whole film was based on an asian family and their dog And they fucking whitewashed this movie. They whitewashed it. Yeah another version of the fucking white devil It's like ghosts in the shell when they put fucking Scarlett Johansson Same fuck ghost in the shell, right? The ghost in the shell. You can name so many movies. They've done this goddamn samurai. She was white Yeah, you can name so many ghostbusters Ghostbusters. That was an asian film. They're all asians Ghostbusters. Yeah. Ghostbusters. Yeah. Yeah. It's something scary and you don't know why. Oh no, Srimer. Srimer. Everybody know. Ghostbusters. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Shit. Yeah, it was like

And, and Slimer. S, Srimer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I put a green on you, green on you. The ghosts are all yellow. I am with a key master. Oh boy. Insane. I'm sick of white people fucking stealing asian films and we gotta put a stop to it. I'm tired of it. Disgusting. Well, I mean, I told you about, you know, because I have a joke about it on stage about They made a movie about Genghis Khan. Oh, yeah. And John Wayne played him. I know. I know that picture. John Wayne played Genghis Khan in a fucking movie. You know who Genghis Khan is, don't you? Yeah. Do you know who that is, Rudy? No. Look at that. John Wayne is Genghis Khan. He was the Joe Stalin of China. Look at that. Look at that. Did you say he was the Joe Biden of China? No, Joe Stalin of China. Oh, I was like, what the fuck?

He was a Joe Biden of Chinese. He was a Kamala Harris of China. Zoom in on how insane that is. This is insane. That's John Wayne. Yeah. As an asian guy. That's what they used to do. By the way, doesn't look asian even a little bit at all. Not at all. That just looks like a guy who likes motorcycles. Yeah. That's just a fucking guy. But imagine the calls that the asian actors that auditioned with that part got when they found out we got it. What? Look at the guy to his right, how they guzzied him up. That is crazy shit. That's a white guy, too. They're all white guys. They used to do that. Go to the IMDb page and I want to see the cast and let's see actually how many fucking asian members are on the cast. Yeah. What's that movie called? The Conqueror. It's called The Conqueror. Yeah, The Conqueror. That's right.

Okay. 1956? 1956, yeah. Okay. Scroll down. Scroll down. By the way, The Love Interest, also a white girl. Yeah. Stars. Here we go. Zoom in deep. John Wayne. Susan Hayward. Pedro. Pedro. So Latin dudes got it before. Agnes Moorhead. Thomas Gomez. Oh, as Wang Khan. He did a great job, though. John Hoyt. William Conrad. Ted DeCorsi. So, wait a minute. This, anything it's. Oh, there's a Lee Van Cleef. Could he be? Oh, yeah, yeah. At the bottom. Richard Lu. The captain of Wang's Guard. Oh, yeah, background. Yeah, yeah. That's the only asian we found on the primary cast. There's a billion Chinese and they can only find one. That's crazy. There's a billion of these fucking people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're like, we just don't know where to turn. I just don't think we can cast any asians in this. Yeah, it's insane. Wow, Richard Lu. Shout out to fucking Richard Lu. You know what? Yeah. This episode we're dedicating to Richard Lu.

Richard Lu. Shout out to Richard Lu, born in one of your favorite places in Hawaii, died the year of our lord, Andrew Santino's birth, 1983, here in Los Angeles. What else did Richard Lu do? I bet you have some more racist shit. Yeah. The man with the golden gun, steel helmet, the quiet American, purple heart. Let's see his names, though. This has always got to be. Go, yeah, scroll down his actor. Let's see the name of all. It's always got to be. What if he did a movie called Emperor Hirohito and Steve Martin played Emperor Hirohito and he's just a guardsman. Look at all of his names. Cam Chong, Chen Li, Dr. Lipu, Chiang Kai-shek, Hai Phat, Tanaka, YS Chen, Lin Chutai, Chen Shi, Leo. My favorite is when it's just like Mark. Yeah, yeah. Jimmy McAvon or something. Let me ask you something. That's what's bullshit about it is that, because he's born in Hawaii, so he's an American guy, right? Yeah, he's an American citizen. And imagine that's all he could get. Those are his things. Chiang Chiang. Yeah, Ping Pong. Ping Pong. And he's like, and that's once every five years, probably there's one part as a guardsman or some butler. Well, even he looked, no, right there. Hawaii 5-0, stop. Hawaii 5-0, 1968. Wong Tu. Yeah. Wong Tu. And you know those writers are doing that because they think that something's funny. You know what I mean? The writers are like, Wing-Wang or Wang Chung.

Or they just take pots and pans and just throw it against the wall. Hey, and I dream, look at this. In I Dream of Jeannie, he was just Wong. Just Wong. Hey, can I be Wong too? No, it's Wong. Well, here's the question. Do Korea remake American movies? No. They don't? No, Korean does a lot of original stuff. We do original stuff. Oh, okay. Well, you think that Korea is going to make, let me sit there. I have an idea. Go on with the wind. Let's do Malcolm X, bioplay, or Korean cast. By the way, I'm watching that in the theater. Yeah. And Malcolm X, Bobby Lee. You know what it should be? What's a Denzel movie? King Kong ain't got shit on me. Training Day. Training Day. Training Day. Korean style would be so funny. Yeah. But they would rewrite it, right? But they would never do a biopic. Right? I don't think they would. You know, because Seven Samurai, the movie Seven Samurai, America made it into Magnificent Seven, which is okay, because they set Samurai into Cowboy, and they same storyline, but they switched the character. That's one thing. That's cool. You could do that, I guess. But if you're casting, you know what I mean, a white dude to play an Asian guy, that's where I have the problem. It's just goofball shit. It's just a goofball. Yeah. Especially a historic figure. It's not like just a random dude. It's fucking Genghis. It's weird to play a big figure, and it's weird on all fronts.

But also, shout out one more time to our main guy. What was his name again here? Richard Lu. Please memorize it. Richard Lu, Richard Lu, Richard Lu. Shout out to Richard Lu. Rest in peace. Thank you for coming to the cookout, by the way, and I'm appreciative of you guys bringing food. What is this again? What is this again? This is potatoes and eggs. Potatoes and eggs? That doesn't sound good. I don't know right now. A pass? Wait, and what is this? This is homemade? Yes. Wait, who made it? I made it. You did? I gotta try it. Oh, it actually smells really good. You wanna try one of these? Potatoes and eggs? Really good. This is really good. It's warm for breakfast. Oh my god. Wait, what's this called? Tortilla. No, it's not a fucking tortilla. Don't do that. It's Spanish, not Mexican. Rude. That's rude. That is rude. Calling Mexicans lazy, because they don't do that with their tortilla. Wait, this is called tortilla. Yeah. Wow, this is good. It's really good. Thank you for being a bad friend.

Thank you for being a bad friend. It's at the government. It's at the fucking government. I never said that it was this color. I'm saying that this is happening to us. It's white people. It's white people. It's white people. The most uneducated guy on earth. The guy who knows literally nothing. Yeah, I know about critical race theory and everything. You know about critical race theory? You're so fucking dumb.