Bad Friends - The White Cheeks

Episode Date: July 20, 2020

Bobby eats a cat eye booger. Andrew discovers the Japanese king of the hill. Rudy cleans her knife. A few International Friends return. Thank you to our Sponsors: http://buyraycon.com/badfriends & h...ttps://betterhelp.com/badfriends & http://bluechew.com/ code: bad friends Subscribe to our YouTube: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com/ More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com/ More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Produced by George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Anchor if you haven't heard about anchor. It's the easiest way to make a podcast Let me explain. Oh, please. It's free. Awesome. That's cool These are there are creation tools that allow you to record and edit your podcast right from your phone or your computer You do it from your phone like on the go. Oh my god That's cool the bus or the subway you can do it. That's cool Anchor will distribute your podcast for you so it can be heard on Spotify Apple podcast and many many many many many more. You can make money from your podcast too No minimum listenership. How about that? You can make money with no minimum listenership It's everything you need to make a podcast all in one place. Where do we have to go Bob?
Starting point is 00:00:40 Download the free anchor app or go to anchor.fm to get started. You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? Why do you think I'm an Asian dude? You two are disgusting. Well, you two are something. We're bad friends. Welcome to bad friends. Listen, um, I've been thinking about the Lord so much as of late. Tell me. Hi, Jesus here. Me and my dad are just chilling here at the Heaven Super Disco waiting for Bobby. I can already see his gangrene-ridden foot between the pearly gates. As for Andrew, I'm sorry. No ginger's allowed. Then's the rules. Yes, Rudy, lay down those knives. Jesus out.
Starting point is 00:01:35 Well, the Jesus, the Jesus, I call it the Jesus, by the way. You call it the Jesus. Yeah, because there's only one. There is only one. There can be only one. There can only be one. He's like the Neo of the sky. You know how Neo was, you know, the one in the matrix? Yep. Jesus is the one in the sky. And there's no one else that can beat him. That's right. His power is outlast and outpower all the other powerful ones. You better believe it, baby. Like Zeus. He can destroy Zeus. He can destroy, um, what else is another, um, Medusa? Yeah, Medusa. Is it Medusa one? Is Medusa a Greek god? Yes. Sure. Why not? Yeah. Because all I know is from Clash of the Titans. Oh, yeah. He can destroy the Kraken. What about, what's some other Greek gods? Um, Pyrenees. He's a good one. Pyrenees. Pegasus. Pegasus? Is Pegasus a god? Yes. Yeah, he's a horsey, huh? He's a horse god. Anyway, Jesus is the best. And, um, I believe, you know, I had a spiritual awakening this week.
Starting point is 00:02:42 And I've been reading the Bible and, um, the Bible. I know what a son is saying. And, um, you know, I believe that he died for his sins, that he's the manifestation of the real god. Yeah. He's not just the son. The holy ghost and Jesus and, um, god are one. They're one thing. They're all one thing. Right. But Jesus is the flesh form of the god. The ghost, holy ghost is the ghost form. Yeah. Yeah. He's like a transformer god. I think I can do everything. You know, he's like, you know, how transformers can turn into a car and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. But they're the same one, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah. So, you know, that's what God does. Jesus does. Jesus. But Jesus is God? Jesus is God. So, but God, but God is the, is God, is God separate from Jesus? Or they're the same thing? They're the same exact thing. I just told you they're the same, but different form. They're the different form of the same thing. How do they have two different names? Because, um, that's true, huh? Mm-hmm. I never thought of it that way. Yeah. Because, um, the landing mammals of our planet, which is humans. Us? And via also, um, elephants. Oh, elephants, huh? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And, um, the sea pups. Oh, sea pups. Yes, sea pups are mammals.
Starting point is 00:03:59 Oh, oh. Sea pup. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That, um, so, you know, the land creatures, they need things to be, um, defined. Uh-huh. That's why. And so, they just need, okay. In, in, in the sky world, which is heaven, in the sky world, they don't have those, you know, they don't put people in boxes, and they don't have divisions and words for different things. heaven there's no gender no sex no no no it's gonna be what's up you like if I came if I ran into Pamela Anderson mm-hmm in heaven you sure she's going up there I'm pretty sure okay and her tits are whoa her tits will definitely be there yeah yeah I said what's up you what's up you and she'll be like yeah I'm just you know lifeguarding lifeguarding that's what she does in heaven I'm sure is there pool up there maybe all right there's everything up there by the way oh really
Starting point is 00:04:55 have you yeah because it's like you know it's like the matrix let's go back to the matrix it's like you can manifest in heaven when you're an angel and stuff any kind of world that you want I believe I get I think that's I believe that to be true yeah whatever you want it to be it's there some would say heaven is right here on earth it's not this is hell this is hell sure Los Angeles is hell no this planet have you ever been to Montana oh it's beautiful pretty beautiful yeah that might be heaven yeah that's heaven maybe but let's go back to um my Christianity maybe sure why not when was the last time you went to
Starting point is 00:05:30 church Sunday oh really yeah what's Korean Christian church like hello welcome thank you yes right now I talked to you about Jesus Christ I wrote and if it said warden slave lure behind the pulpit how hard how hard would I laugh no if you put a career on robot right there's a shirt that says R.O.R.D A.N. right yeah S.A.B. right OR or say board yeah yeah word and but anyway so I believe in the you know the the Christian rules as well like I believe in they'll show not abort they'll show not kill abort another topic we probably can't talk about the amount of topics that we're not allowed to talk about it's in that's
Starting point is 00:06:25 why we started this new rules we started the podcast this way because you know we want to because of last week's episode well because the talked about some unsavory at topic oh somebody sent me something look at this so I showed you that call it show story show the Italian game where they just murder each other yeah I loved I forgot to watch that this do you remember do you know what this is what bow tie oh tow she this Japanese game no what is it oh my okay first of all let's stop stop yeah I love it already because there are storm troopers in it yes there's full-blown storm troopers and for some reason they
Starting point is 00:07:06 have those guys that direct airplanes out there right next to them that are just standing waiting to direct traffic these people pay good money to see people do bow tow tow tow she tow she it literally looks like because there's a lot of Asians in it too wait there are yeah those right there it looks like there's 20 storm troopers in about 120 Yoda's this is a cool fucking Star Wars movie so let me oh how about this let's just have you guess what's gonna happen this what next oh that's good that's good okay so all right so you're seeing one half of the quote-unquote field right you're seeing the mirroring this is the
Starting point is 00:07:44 same amount of men in the same amount of okay well there's helmets going on so I have to assume that they're gonna use their head in some way that's correct and those helmets seem like there's it's a gigantic white kind of ball yep on their head and this is it's like you know that looks like is jack lanterns made out of just white foam yep right so they're covering every dimension of their face so I can only assume that the guy into the right right in the red yeah red right there is completely fucked because he's got nothing on well no I think he has one but I feel like they're all gonna headbutt him okay at the same time
Starting point is 00:08:24 it's a good guess yeah Rudy do you want to take a guess over what happens next keep in mind you're not seeing one element of this but there's another team over there and they're doing something that we don't really put your mic please say what you say what you want to say what get closer to the mic please there it is please no get your mouth closer to the mic I'm tired of that's the attitude I don't know I think they're gonna march they're gonna march they're gonna march they're gonna march to the other team they're gonna and then I think they're just gonna wrestle they're gonna wrestle they're gonna march to
Starting point is 00:09:02 the other team not run march a march is a specific yeah yeah yeah yeah what are you thinking about I don't know yeah that sounds like you've seen too much of that like Hitler footage where they so this is what you're missing what I'd left out of this on purpose is there is a man on a pole all teams have a man on a pole oh have you seen this before no a man is on a pole on both teams the goal is to take that man off it's basically capture the flag but it's a man and you have to your team has to take him down by any means necessary go ahead so they start out with a bow they always bow they always about what sport it is bow and
Starting point is 00:09:41 chant yeah now they're ready to rock and roll amazing look at that man on a pole amazing look at this they have to charge him and they can kick they can punch they can do anything to get on top there to take him off the pole amazing look at how hard they kick each other when they get up there look at the guys just kicking him in the face and look at the little man on the top of the pole holding on as tight as he can they charge and they jump on each other and the reason they have helmets is because they get kicked in the face kicked in the head as far as they can oh my god now watch now that they've climbed up there
Starting point is 00:10:27 there's definitely somebody on the bottom that's dead somebody that guy is skillful the right yeah look at his skill level so essentially once they get to this man on the pole if they can take him down and climb it themselves you can punch you can punch you can punch you can punch you can oh wow you can choke him out you can choke him out you can kiss him look at that look at that kicking kick kick kick yeah kick get away get away go out get off get off oh my god and they almost have them there's there's many men that die underneath that pile oh look at that and then someone else got on from the other
Starting point is 00:11:05 team oh if somebody goes up I see somebody tries to reply no so if your team can rip down that man and then you're one of your teammates gets to touch the the white pole at the top that's a alright here's a score I want to do something mm-hmm let's say you invented this game I did and you're from Japan I wanted to show it off to your Japan yeah I'm Japan and I want to see how you explain your body how you invented this game what the rules are oh you're like the International Japanese Sport Council no just tell me and I come in yeah so yeah so I you know hey shimizitsu hi so we today I you know I
Starting point is 00:11:41 called you earlier yes last week about the about you know we don't have a lot of sports here in Japan we have a sumo I have one for you yeah we have ninja you know but I uh I called you to see if you have a good idea but really many men charge other men oh wait wait wait fast as they can one man on pole another man on pole they rip down man on pole other man climb pole oh jerk pole at top hardest yeah wow okay let's do it let me wow somebody came up with that yeah somebody said let's jerk him off a pole yeah let's hit him as hard as we can off the pole bow how do you say that bow how she bow how she how she but you
Starting point is 00:12:33 realize though I'm sure there's so many sports that's been invented they just didn't make it to like the major leagues well they didn't enough people were like I don't want to play that yeah or I don't want to watch it this is I know but it's like could you watch a lot of it it's because there's no rule like skill do you think there's skill involved in this yeah strategy because the guy on the pole there's a probably one guy that everyone says let's say you know I created my team yeah yeah toko yeah you're the poor he's like no no why because I saw you remember that one time right when we were eight yeah you
Starting point is 00:13:17 were on top of that tree like a fucking koala yeah right we should get off the you're gonna come down for four days yeah right so that's really not that much of a skill is to hang no I think that takes a lot that's balance that's coordination don't you think all right balance the coronation but it's like you don't just you can only you can do it your own way yeah you don't have to get you don't have to jump and kick and try to hurt people right and then the other people skill level is to charge and climb climb yeah climb is really a skill though is it straight that's that strategy strategy these guys just have
Starting point is 00:13:56 good strategy whoever knows how to topple over their best friend the best like how do you become a pro in this game I think this well this is what like five seven-year-old boys do every day they just you like what are they king of the hill remember king of the hill or that's all you do is try to hurt each other to get to the top of something yeah when you play when you play with your brother as a little kid didn't you guys try to get like hurt each other all the time and like see who could best each other at climbing something or getting on top of something yeah you did stuff like that didn't you yeah you know what I would do
Starting point is 00:14:24 like would you ever push your brother down the stairs would you guys ever have do you have stairs in your house push my brother down the stairs yeah man I've done all kinds of stuff I used to keep sleep I put bang gay on his dick why yeah why it hurts so burns huh dude I've never I've never had oh my god you what you have to do bro yeah it is a right for every man every man listening right now right listen up this is if you're a man you will do this right now as we speak what you'll get been gay okay you'll go to your bathroom and you'll take a glob of it stick it all over your dick inside the hole of your dick no Bob
Starting point is 00:15:02 no inside the hole that's gonna that would hurt the hole okay but on the outside sure of the head yeah you know down your sacks right and just stand there you mean without going inside a shower for about 30 minutes 30 minutes yeah and it burns you'll be able to do it guys send in a video if you're gonna do that you're not gonna be able to do it it's a group but imagine my brother now he's sleeping he's in eighth grade what's a fully so mean it's not that's so right of passage Ben gay on your brother's penis maybe you just wanted to feel your brother would if it turns out I didn't have been gay he's like what are
Starting point is 00:15:41 you doing like I'm rubbing back and he's like your hand is dry I know good night yeah happy for the April Fool's April Fool's it's June yeah if anybody's gonna do that please send us a video cuz I do want to see that yeah I used to do fucking my dude all kinds of things on my brother dude I used you know what I know what I did what the last one I did is I dropped a bunch of acid when I was in eighth grade eighth grade you did a bunch of acid yeah I took like probably four tabs Jesus I thought you did acid in high school no junior high yeah yeah I took it was in eighth grade and I remember going into my brother's room
Starting point is 00:16:21 huh and just scratching his face why I don't know you were that messed up yeah yeah I started scratching his face was it bleeding stop scratching my face you're holding me how old was he and I'd be like yeah you're a fucking creature of the night my friend how old was your brother I see eighth grade probably he's my age right fifth grade yeah wait how old is he how was your brother my brother is 45 years old no he's not yeah he is why he looks so young I know he's almost yeah he's almost he's 46 like when I see your younger brother I think he's so much younger than you because he just has a baby face yeah my brother's only
Starting point is 00:17:06 three years younger than me that's crazy crazy cuz he's just got this like innocent face also I think he's he has an innocent demeanor he's such a sweet guy you know I mean like my brother Jules ever met my brother he's a sweetheart what's my brother's name she looked at me like I was gonna tell her no tell me I'm wrong yeah my brother is you know but my brother has always looked like that like a like I just like when he was when he was 21 he probably couldn't buy booze cuz they were like you're not you're a kid yeah but also my brother just is I think the way he acts in life too and I'm the same way I guess is we're
Starting point is 00:17:47 very childish yeah but you're I don't know how anything really works same no you do you have some responsibility I meant I don't know how anything works for you yeah you'll call me and go you'll call me and go yeah I'm just working on the porch yeah or something like that I'll be working on some yeah like the ceiling for the roof you know I'm doing a little thing like what's going on why what do you think you'd know how to fix around your house Jules honestly do do do I know how to how about this could you replace a screen on a window do you think I could Jules I think you could but it would take like three days you
Starting point is 00:18:30 think we take three days yeah okay what are this the pipe is leaking onto the sink what's your first move let's let's just do the honest response yes wow the fucking pipes leaking yeah I wonder why so that's what those are the thoughts of my head and then and then I was just to look at it just kind of analyze aware it's leaking and just go okay and I'll probably take if duct tape you duct tape whatever section oh yeah you wouldn't call someone for help no it duct tape it that's the help what it would probably work no I don't it depends on the leak but probably not okay but if that doesn't work then I would go to Kalila and
Starting point is 00:19:17 go and be honest and go listen the leak it's leaking I duct tape the sink and I got worse it got worse and she'll yell at me yeah profusely yeah like you're fucking moron you're an idiot you know that kind of stuff she says that she says you're an idiot does she call you an idiot she'll call me idiot but she says things that are she'll say things like um you're a child you don't know nothing yeah and what do you say back I know yeah yeah and then I'll just go down and play war zone just go downstairs and play your video games now right guys um I don't use other earbuds no the only earbuds I use Bobby Lee
Starting point is 00:20:01 uses is fucking Raycon because of the best in the market yeah and also secondly right they're half the price of your standard other ear but I don't understand how anyone else uses other ones Raycon's the best they're the best they fit snug in your ear and they're not a rip-off and we're not gonna say the other people's names but they oversell you on bad products that aren't worth the money and Raycon is phenomenal they look good they're slick looking they fit it in your ears better than all the other ones and they have six hours you can play these for six hours wireless hours it's their newest model the
Starting point is 00:20:36 everyday e25 earbud it's the best one they put out and genuinely it's backed by Snoop Dogg so you don't trust Snoop they're double cheese Snoop Dogg but Cardi B Melissa Ethridge Brandy JJ Smith JR Smith the basketball player he loves it too pick up a pair genuinely see what the hype is about they fit snug in your ear they're comfortable and they're not as expensive as those other brands but the sound is way better now's the time to get the latest and greatest from Raycon 15% off your order at buyraycon.com slash bad friend buyraycon.com slash bad friends buyraycon.com slash bad friends buyraycon.com slash bad friends are 15% off
Starting point is 00:21:17 better help what did you use the other day my friend I use better help actually I use better help as well yeah no I really like it if you are looking to find some more happiness in your life and find out what's going on and talk to someone about some of your troubles and your struggles or things are good listen you all there's nothing better product to use service to use in this pandemic than better help because you know when when life cuts off and you don't can't go to work and it gets disrupted it in some way your feelings come in you know and you need to release that shit right sometimes it's easy to do it with
Starting point is 00:21:54 somebody outside of your house yes you need someone who's not in your life right now you can log in from anywhere on your computer and get help from licensed professionals any time of the day you can start communicating within two days they have all sorts of people you can match up with you can you can find out who works with you the best and they're committed to making sure that they give you good service it's also like a lot more affordable yeah other traditional offline counseling and financial aid is available better help wants you to start living a happier life today guys yeah go to their website and
Starting point is 00:22:24 check it out I promise you it is worth it at least to even try it out one time if you're skeptical you should try it go to betterhelp.com slash bad friends that's H-E-L-P betterhelp.com millions of people are doing it special offer our listeners get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com slash bad friends yeah you're back the other day I was telling Jules in the car and I don't know why but this started a fight I was watching last night you know alone season 3 with with Kalilah no the new season of yeah the new episode that came out for season 7 and I had my mouth open because when I watch it like this I have my mouth open
Starting point is 00:23:05 because it's incredible smoke so much no I smoke so much I think just my mouth just opens trying to get oxygen in my body yeah yeah yeah and then she took her finger in my mouth and I felt like there was something in my mouth and I go what was in my mouth and she giggled and I go what are you giggling about see I put bojo's eye booger in your mouth so bojo is my youngest cat oh my god I know I know and she I know and he gets these right Jules he gets these thick-ass eye booger no I'm gonna throw another they turn black Jules right back me up they turn black so she puts bojo's eye booger in my mouth and you know
Starting point is 00:23:49 what you know when you have a cat's eye booger in your mouth you there's some there's a sensation that goes over your body and I can have another sensation which is rage right so what I did was I dug in my my nose because I have so much because I smoke and I sleep with my mouth open I have a booger fest deep in the canals you're the booger king I am aren't I not mm-hmm and I dug in a what you're a tricolor where it's dark yellow and clear or something oh red oh that's that's yeah yeah yeah that's bad I call the tricolor mm-hmm yellow is clear there's dark portions black almost almost black yeah and streaks of red
Starting point is 00:24:36 because of blood yeah and it's uh it also it's one of those ones with a heart tip do you know what I'm saying yeah it's not slimy but it's basically you pull out the heart tip of it it's soft and there's no there's like yellow and red entrails it's great so I said so the heart tip is between my fingernail here oh man and the entrails of the fucking booker is coming down like this fans are loving this one what did you do why why what did you do I should stop talking about it I just imagine some guy people people to people people tell us like I always watch you guys are meeting breakfast in the morning Monday mornings
Starting point is 00:25:22 just fucking stay just having some eggs and toast I don't care what did you do with it I try to stick in her mouth no she put a fucking cat's eye burger in my mouth no no no I know I know yeah yeah yeah duality of it then what's the what's the proper retaliation you hit her as hard as you can yeah I didn't know I and she and so she grabs my hand she's to block you yeah and it's almost in her mouth right and I almost get in her lip but then she looks at me she goes if you that goes into my mouth yeah we're done yeah I know those ultimatums where it's like I'm not playing around yeah we're done so I stuck it right mm-hmm so I have
Starting point is 00:26:04 this glass on the side of my end table the table I have a glass right for my water mm-hmm and I stuck it at the tip of oh my god it's still there now but it's your glass yeah it's my booger it was already inside my body I know so get it out get it away go no no if I stick it back inside my body who cares belongs what's no yeah boogers are gross to me why I don't know I don't know why I just say yucky I don't like that stuff you never eaten it you eat your boogers do you really eat your boogers I have when was the last time you ate a booger when was the last time you ate a booger you know it's when was the last
Starting point is 00:26:53 let me let me go back though for a second just give me a second I want to answer I will give you an answer I want to give you a fucking answer all right but I'm gonna tell you something yeah there are things in people's lives private lives right what you do in secret right and you're in your privacy booger eating is not a thing that people do in their private lives it is it private lives is like I have too many drinks at night there are things people do that I don't know it's around you look around first I don't eat I've never eaten a booger where I haven't done this first where I looked around and what does
Starting point is 00:27:26 that mean you probably shouldn't do it maybe right but I want anyone to see me it's like when you if it's like if someone says the n-word and they go and say right because they know they're not supposed to is that what it that's the only reason you would look around but not mine was just based on embarrassment yeah you're right yeah you don't write your absolute try to justify when was last time you did it I don't know I don't I don't because I don't eat a booger and go hmm so what happens was a good one it happens enough that you don't remember what happens enough that you don't remember it happens often enough
Starting point is 00:27:57 that you don't remember oh in my lifetime you're asking me it must happen regularly that you don't remember yeah I don't remember so it maybe a couple of days ago no I would have remembered a couple days ago but maybe a week or two in the month within the month within the month have you ever eaten a booger rude no no never but have you ever pulled out a booger and rolled it for a while yeah I've rolled it for a while so what does the booger taste like to you I don't know I've never tasted it what do I think it tastes like yeah mucus with the flavor though what's the flavor yeah
Starting point is 00:28:35 Funyuns no okay Funyuns are very salty that's exactly what they are like onion chips salty you've eaten a booger before man no man I roll as you you've eaten a fucking booger before what I got in my life so what I got I have not ridiculous I would know I the look of it is gross to me I've tried everything off my body I mean I wouldn't even eat like mushrooms until I was you know 30 sperm never never you've never tasted your own sperm noop no I'm either yeah either you wonder what you've tasted your own sperm and other peoples yep don't be like that is that not true don't say it like that tell me is it true have I tasted other
Starting point is 00:29:17 peoples come yeah yes okay bad friends would like to apologize for the preceding segment please watch the following clip to heal any trauma this may have cost I've never no never never have only things I've tasted in body stuff blood yeah obviously obviously like my own blood yeah who never tasted if you tasted poo no no way man smelled it though oh yeah when you wiped you smell you smell you do don't you know you don't what do you know I can't do you stand up to wipe or you sit down to wipe I stand I'm on my way I have things to do you stand wipe
Starting point is 00:30:07 go I have things to do I'm on the go mm-hmm yeah yeah so it's safe to say you're probably not all the way clean like what you don't ever finish all the way you wipe and go you don't even think about it if maybe it's because I have a tushy at home my tushy episode is brought to you by tushy dot tushy dot com dot com do you want oh what okay I just want I just want to defend myself real quick move on to the next you go ahead we don't know what are you doing right now I'm setting up something for you because I want you to defend yourself for eating your own boogers okay what's wrong Jules you're ashamed of me no
Starting point is 00:30:46 that's what that look is right there yeah that was yeah you know what she was just doing now this is what she did why did you do that I look over and she's doing this no in that face she's just like should I move out like who am I living with like she's literally do you not do you do you do you are you second tired to live in with Uncle Tito no are you be honest I'm not does that stuff bother you the booger stuff everywhere no because I don't see it also okay you don't see it I do walk around the house in my underwear does that bother you no there's no way it doesn't but he puts like nails everywhere including what what
Starting point is 00:31:30 on my bed what what do you mean nails on your bed like he eats his nails and then he the remaining part he puts it on my bed why do you do that dude do you really do that listen you fucking wait wait you chew your nails and then you put the and you put them on her bed I'll do listen you little one what the fuck do you really do that no I listen calm down everybody no no I'm just I'm listening everyone just regroup yourself okay okay I have in the past with my nail clippings on my feet uh-huh and my fingernails yeah given it given her some put some on her nightstand or on her bed what does that mean I do it's a
Starting point is 00:32:19 gift dude I'm Bobby Lee dude oh that's a gift that she should feel so lucky I'm Bobby fucking Lee you know what dude what dude yeah I'm gonna defend myself the booger that I eat yeah it's not just regular booger baby what is it Bobby Lee Bobby Lee Boogers next level are you looking for next level boogers Bobby Lee Boogers all right and it's a gift no you're welcome you're welcome Jules you know what I agree with I agree with Bob how about that we've got some friends some international friends that we haven't talked to in a long time bad friends around the world hey there's our boys my sweet boys I'm gonna
Starting point is 00:33:08 call you guys white cheeks white she white cheek white here we go white cheeks hey guys the white cheek brother hey the white kids what's up yeah we miss you were you guys from again I'm to them that's right I remember what time is it there um 1 22 right now I think yeah yeah in the morning yeah yeah are you guys are you guys in quarantine or snow or is the Netherlands I think they're done yeah it's kind of quarantine yeah it's like we can do a lot of things but we have to keep like one and a half meters that's like that's no 60 would be two meters oh really a meter three feet why did they get extra inches no they
Starting point is 00:33:51 don't have extra inches we have less bolly they've less they've less they've less yeah I mean less inches we're greater than yeah yeah we're better than we're better we're better than you know that we get more distance yeah yeah yeah yeah so wait a minute so so Amsterdam and the Netherlands is is you guys are almost all done right um yeah I think is everything open um yeah everything's open yeah like so you guys are not sitting a meter and a half apart from each other you're right next to each other so why don't you turn and give each other a kiss to prove us that the Netherlands are done if COVID is really done why don't
Starting point is 00:34:24 you give each other a kiss yeah go ahead on the lips on the lips there you go on the lips do it do it we don't believe it we don't believe you we we oh okay okay we give him a kiss on the cheek so I can prove that is over is COVID over yeah yeah you guys solve the problem now do you guys have a mask mandate I mean do you guys walk around in public with masks on yeah but nobody like in shops you don't have to so nobody does it in the shops but in public transit yeah you have to yeah right but but you know but okay so but when you go like how about do you guys go to a gym is there a G you guys don't they don't do you guys go
Starting point is 00:35:06 to a gym yeah when you go do you have to wear a mask um no I don't think so no just need to make an appointment and no mask no mask did you guys get tested no I didn't know no did anybody you know get it yeah my dad got it oh is he okay yeah he's okay it was like pretty false he didn't have it again he didn't have it and was he did he get really sick or no I'm like one or two days he was really sick and after that it was like better like did he do anything weird while he was sick did he act differently no no nothing it was just like sick and he had a fever and but he was were you worried yeah of course yeah yeah but he's like
Starting point is 00:35:56 it's I didn't think it was like that bad he because it was only two days two days that's not but he's like he would walk around with your boner and we thought that was the COVID but that's just my dad weird guys just is that a good accent does that sound good it was dead on my dad would walk with a boner and he would and we thought COVID was the boner reason but he was just a dead guy goofy guy my dad yeah is that a good accent let's hear Bobby's I cannot even try it would tell me what to say tell him a phrase to say and then he'll say it back to you I'm going to the supermarket I'm going to the supermarket what do you
Starting point is 00:36:37 that's like a robot it's like a Jim Carrey robot do you guys think we sound like robots okay so we say I'm going to the supermarket okay I'm going to the supermarket I'm going to the supermarket now give us a more advanced phrase give me a more advanced phrase like why are you leaving mom dad yeah do you guys have girlfriends no not yet not yet good good stay that way be free I forget how they were they're 17 and 16 right no 17 18 the brothers no they're not brothers are best friends are you and me best friends the one on
Starting point is 00:37:56 the left is the Asian guy and the one on the right looks like me this is you and I'm here who's by the way is that a Harvard shirt are you wearing a Harvard shirt yeah I'm wearing are you good did you get into Harvard no I wish I know but you're probably smart enough you you seem like really smart boys you guys could get into a good school like that don't you think yes I know I don't think Harvard because it costs a lot of money yeah it's expensive next year we find you guys in LA would you ever come to Los Angeles yeah sure yeah I've been to Los Angeles once how much how much would it be for us to fly these guys out have
Starting point is 00:38:36 lunch with these guys when the panties over we should get you guys let's have a lunch with these two we really have that will be awesome but here's the deal we're gonna fly you here but you have to stop five or six times so we're gonna fly you you'll stop once in Iceland then once in New York then you're gonna go for about 50 miles 50 miles on a donkey in Mexico and then we're gonna fly you Wisconsin where you got a shovel snow in the winter then we'll get you here eventually let me ask you guys another question what other podcasts do you listen to I like like all the comedian Joe roll done right now a lot of two
Starting point is 00:39:13 bears one K don't know what that is I don't know the one with no no no they haven't mentioned anyone that I've heard of any other ones that you like I like tiger belly oh yeah ginger that's it how do you feel about jewels yeah do you guys like Rudy like Rudy yeah comedy yeah no no just as a person yeah it's a person yeah of course yeah they both love rude yeah and you guys are the same age no we are I tried it last time but it didn't work so she didn't like him she didn't like him yeah nope no she he said he was he said they they flirted a little bit but here's the thing right because I think when Rudy joined the
Starting point is 00:40:01 show it made the show better it yes it did that friends became way better with Rudy the boys can't see you because they're facing this way that's so nice yeah thank you to the boys thank you that was such a parent that was like go thank them right now this week girl also also Andreas and right yeah so what does that mean you hate George is that what it is well yeah he's your least favorite well I've never heard him on the podcast doing something well no yeah yeah we try to put him in the corner yeah we try to put him on the corner yeah so you
Starting point is 00:40:50 love Andre's we're gonna what would you how about this Bobby and I go back and forth over what segment Andre should do what do you what would you like to see Andres do what would be your favorite thing to watch him do other than read the news or jokes what do you what would you like to see him do maybe a sketch some kind of sketch okay that's really funny we're gonna make Andreas do a sketch that we write we should be in the sketch as well though I just think it would be what if we're gonna push Rudy do you have some lines as well that's true so if we did a sketch like you guys e-mailed me a sketch that you want me
Starting point is 00:41:23 to read I know I have it right here you guys told me you guys wrote a scratch they did they e-mailed it to me it's right here in front of me oh it says we'd like to see Andres do blackface that's that's what you guys said we want to oblige yeah so Andres who can hear us right now he's listening he's gonna have to do a sketch in blackface and that's that's what the fans want don't you think that's what our fans and our friends want yes so we want that we'll have him do that we'll have him do that what's been going on for the rest of the summer you guys you have any plans or or as COVID just made it so you can't
Starting point is 00:41:59 really do much I like I've enjoyed myself but it's it kind of sucks you can't travel we're all affected by this guys we're all really bummed about this is a bizarre it's still we live in right now it stinks and we just have to take it day by day and you know what nothing is forever and it's gonna change and we will get back to our normal life we'll be back to square one we will be you guys want to ask anything before we let the jet set you guys want to say anything say yeah you want to promote yeah we we had a question yeah you oh yeah so there was this episode on Tiger Belly where you guys talked about a special podcast
Starting point is 00:42:42 episode that you two recorded with each other and it never got released right remember yeah do you guys have anything anything of context about that you can tell us well okay anything about all right I'm gonna just say this okay all right we released this that podcast yeah him and our careers would be over we say cancelled forever it's far worse than anything that you've ever heard yeah and we just say a lot of bad stuff because we were we were jumping on each other yeah and we were angry at each other like we always are but then we said let's just do one let's just keep going but we're never gonna no one's ever gonna hear it
Starting point is 00:43:26 let's just say whatever we want to say and we did so we say things that are so evil and so bad they're very bad very bad you'll never hear it you'll never hear a one day how about this one day one day when I die one day when Bobby's dying and I'm lying dying next to him we will release it we'll release it but we'll we'll sell it for charity money and all the money will go to our favorite charity and it'll release right as we're dead so that it'll take care of it by that time it won't be that big of a deal the world will change have changed so much listen boys I'll never forget you again and I love you visit us again I
Starting point is 00:44:02 love you guys so much okay thank you guys to be on the show the cheeks we love you the white you ladies and gentlemen the white cheeks bye guys they are the best we love those fucking dudes man these boys are very European they're they're cute boys they're cute boys you don't like them she likes Anna she needs therapy I like Anna yeah she needs therapy Wow you really do you don't like real people only Harry Styles yeah I get that he's cute he's a cutie patootie yeah I really like him it's funny because you know we know I'm on that game show and Ben Winston yeah Ben's Ben's a good looking guy but Ben also
Starting point is 00:44:44 discovered Harry Styles did he yeah because he used to be the producer of X Factor what's it what's is it like American Idol that's the same factor was before American Idol it was right and it in one direction was discovered on X Factor so it was an so Harry Styles auditioned I didn't know that yeah he was on the show wow and and Simon Cowell brought one direction together right yeah right he was he like produced them or whatever no he produced X Factor with Ben Winston uh-huh and then they discovered so Ben Winston and Harry Styles are almost best friends so can we hang out well I'm you know if they do
Starting point is 00:45:21 another second season I think I'll be comfortable enough if you know if the one that when the pandemic is over I think that there will be a chance where I can call somebody and go can we get backstage passes or something yeah that meet and greet yeah so that Jules can meet him how nice is that how nice is that what do you have to say what if he's rude though would you be it will disappoint you here I'll here I'm Harry Styles and you just you guys just came backstage ready yeah hey what's up yeah big fan big fan oh yeah thanks yeah no doubt this is my niece
Starting point is 00:45:56 Jules she's a really big fan hey what's up Jules um what's up hi I really like you and can I get a hug uh security luchu luchu brings you the first chewable with the same FDA approved active ingredients as Viagra and Cialis I'm gonna tell you this right now I have tried this product myself and it works 100% you can take them any time day or night I gotta tell you Bob and I joked about it we actually tried it and we would just text each other pictures of how strong we were yeah our basement region you can take it on a fuller empty stomach it benefits you guys if you
Starting point is 00:46:37 want to go more than once or you want to keep it going strong as you get older luchu is the way luchu is prescribed online by licensed physicians so you don't have to go to the doctor's office or wait in line at the pharmacy and it ships right to your door in a discreet package yeah they're made here in the us of a and luchu prepares to ship direct it's cheaper than a pharmacy you don't got to worry about being awkward and we're gonna do a bad friends challenge if you and your friend are gonna take luchu you and your body go ahead and take pictures of you guys taking the luchu together and and then
Starting point is 00:47:10 tell us how it worked let us know with you and your friends how it worked me and Bob did it and it was worth it we got a special deal for our listeners go to bluetchoo.com and get your first shipment for free when you use our special promo code bad friends that's right pay five dollars for shipping again that's blue bluechu.com promo code is bad friends it's a better cheaper faster choice we thank them for sponsoring the bad friends podcast remember when you support our sponsors you help make this possible please be sure to use our promo code bad friends at bluetchoo.com
Starting point is 00:47:41 guess where he's from you don't remember I do not kind of vaguely know he's Irish yeah wait let me give you a second he's from New Zealand yep where are you from I'm from the Sweden pretty close New Zealand Sweden what's the difference we know New Zealand Sweden is you have Ireland yeah New Zealand not even right yeah no so Ireland yeah New Zealand yeah underneath yeah yeah Sweden right over here oh it's not yeah not even close oh fuck my bad that's almost yeah that's bad that's very far that was probably the worst guess I could have that's fine it's fine what's up bud what's up dude yeah I'm good I'm good
Starting point is 00:48:28 can't complain how about you guys we're good you look more Jack than normal last time we commented how Jack this dude was have you been working out more not really actually I've been just sneezing around but thank you no wait you say sneezing around yeah yeah you did the fucking turn to the sky yeah because he knows do the hair thing do the hair thing they did the hair thing there you go yeah hey so are you guys in quarantine still or I don't know what's going on over there well I'm not in Sweden right now because I'm in Japan I live in Japan yeah so I'm not sure yeah which is closer to to Australia and New Zealand
Starting point is 00:49:22 there you go so you very good in Japan they're very stringent right in terms of the rules no I think Japan is pretty lax compared to other countries are you wearing a mask outside yeah yeah I do I do because it's like everyone does it so if you don't have masks people will look at you like hey you're trying to kill people right I'm not trying to kill people yeah I just have my mask look his fucking room too looks very Japanese yeah it does look very Japanese can we see around oh wow that place is cool fuck yeah I have nightmares about this place there's a little boy up there yeah yeah yeah wait exactly can we see can
Starting point is 00:50:14 we see out the window is there a window right there yeah yeah what time is it there in the morning oh look at that view what a beautiful view nice look at the temple you can see the temple from your view yeah yeah hey now that the window is open yell out there yell out everybody watch bad friends everybody watch Oscar how do you are you do you have any fluency level of Japanese or no do you not speak it at all yeah I speak I can I can survive for sure you can oh wow and let me ask you something you're there as an easy an animator is that why he's
Starting point is 00:50:55 an artist he's anime he is anime are you an artist out there what do you do for work out there again well I am anime but also I teach English and I go to a Japanese language school oh but his but his ultimate goal remember you know my result of the goal yeah what do anime is to be an anime animator animator animator and do you are you attracted to Asian women I love Asian women I love all women but Asian women are pretty legit yeah what a good phrase the very good pretty legit pretty legit you should just be a fucking superhero you're you have all of the markings of a superhero you have great phrasing your accents good
Starting point is 00:51:38 yeah you got a night look at that fucking jawline you could cut me with that thing yeah I don't know why you don't get into have you ever tried to be an actor you could be the next action hero star yeah sure can I try something with you give me a scene yeah let's do it yeah help me help me I'm never gonna let this broad go what are you gonna do about it tough guy is she Asian yeah you could see she's Asian look at her face stop don't break the scene I'll kill it right now back up back up and get me the money or I'll kill the girl I will save you I will help you you did it really good I we could get you in
Starting point is 00:52:34 something I feel like we could get him in something oh so if we write our sketch we should include we got to include Oscar in it right well we we are gonna do a movie one day Andrew and I should and we will have you in the movie maybe yeah yeah thank you very much I will absolutely you be a villain though for sure yeah a hundred yeah yeah because we said that before he looked like Vigo Mortensen yeah look at that forehead Vigo yeah V you have a beautiful forehead yeah you do it's big thank you what's been going on on your schedule tell us what the life is like right now in Japan in the summer of COVID well not much
Starting point is 00:53:10 been going on in my life I'm studying I'm doing my work just trying to do the best I can every single day bars are still open but not as lively as it used to be do you get depressed oh yeah I've been depressed all my life I have a bond with you because I too have been depressed all my life what are you depressed about do you think well I think the lack of color in that room is a dead giveaway yeah we should throw something up on those walls Oscar can we get you some can we send you something to throw up on that wall if me and Bobby send a picture of us will you put it on your wall I will I would very
Starting point is 00:53:51 much appreciate it we're taking a picture hey we're taking a photo we're gonna give it to him of us and we'll sign it say thinking thinking about you Oscar yeah okay we don't want anything to happen do we love you we love you we gotta get you so we want you to smile cuz you got you you're you're you're a great dude we love you see that smile there it is that's right that's what I was hoping for no oski Oscar thank you buddy yeah what are some things we can improve on in our podcast yeah tell us improve on that's a good question I think you're doing it very well thank you you had like you have this dynamic
Starting point is 00:54:29 like Bobby is of course Bobby and Andrew you don't you don't fall into Bobby's games you have your own opinions and you play with each other and you sometimes you go very hard at each other with your own opinions yeah and it just keeps keeps going but that's enjoyment for me so I like it I love it Oscar you know my honest truth I was I woke up there today and I was like do I love or hate Andrew there really is that there really is that question sometimes I fucking hate you right yeah but I think at the end of the day if you died it would really devastate me so that's how I know I love you thanks oh that's a good
Starting point is 00:55:15 part I I don't I don't have any more love in my heart to give to you than I already have done so at this point I am I'm I feel like I'm your stepdad I love you and I know I love you but it's hard for me to show it because I want to fucking kill you most of the time that's how I feel about you okay thank you and we're good that's how I feel about him and Oscar yeah you're the glue that binds us I know the movie the movie is you and I yeah our gay couple of course right and we adopted him you I mean from Sweden but he was like 17 and we live in Japan we live in Japan yeah as to you I mean yeah stubborn gay lovers
Starting point is 00:56:03 we three guys and and and our son and our son yeah and our beautiful son Oscar our son Oscar and we're in Japan and you are of course an engineer of some kind ventriloquist and a ventriloquist yes and I am a a street vendor I sell food in Japan what's your favorite street vendor food in Japan is vendor food what do you get on this huh so I like seafood they're very nice fresh seafood okay and the market I'm gonna see I'm a mark I do I work in the fish market or maybe you have a low-grade sushi stand right it's the old fish it's old fish I have all the old it's called old fish yeah my markets called old fish yeah it's all
Starting point is 00:56:47 that you what you do is you get your fish from all the other sushi restaurants that are that they throw their fish out yeah that they got when when the guys like when hero is like no good I just take it with me and I go do you ever see that doc do we ever talk about that that your old dreams of sushi have you ever seen that documentary your old dreams of sushi no I haven't seen you should go visit him you should go they're in the bottom of what one of the train stations I forget which one it took it you need a four month reservation to get there yeah but look at how cool he is Oscar you know who went there Andrew
Starting point is 00:57:21 Schultz yeah I know I know he told me that he hated it yeah he said it wasn't that good but it should nothing nothing is gonna live up to the hype you know what what did you do in Japan when you first got there that you thought was gonna be great but it turned out to be not worth the hype did you do anything like that when you moved there what if you got the rice rice is good rice is good everything's been good in Japan so far yeah I mean you know people when they talk about when AI gets sentient and like what happens like ultimate intelligence get emotions yeah yeah Japan it'll be Japan yeah Japan's the best
Starting point is 00:58:00 yeah yeah I think when the singularity happens and machine has consciousness yeah I think Japan will be the first country that will be taken over by machine but but see taking over sounds negative I bet you they'll be immersed with machinery working as one gonna be a war in our cotton we will have a war I think in America we'll have a machine war I think over there in Japan they'll have figured it out if the machines will all be connected it'll be man versus machine there's no division they're not they're not like we're Japanese robots we're cool yeah there are other Japanese robots what I'm just saying is that they're
Starting point is 00:58:38 connected they're gonna be connected through the internet they're gonna think the same that's not true and you go to Japan does a dog speak English or Japanese oh yeah Japanese Japanese Japanese dog Japanese dog yeah the dark but bark different yeah Oscar we love you to death and I want you to keep being happy and smiling because we like you more like this if you ever get bummed out you let us know I do not harm yourself ever and you have a girlfriend now or no no not right now I'm just I'm dating a girl who can you tell us can you tell us anything or what yeah everything she's Filipino she's from
Starting point is 00:59:35 she lives in Japan but she's from the Philippines originally right on she's very great and she's very nice she's very great he said what does she do what does she do Oscar oh she's also teacher okay you met at work oh yeah and what are you guys are doing for fun are you guys going on dates can you go out on dates as there is restaurants all open there or no yeah we have a lot of places open rest we've got restaurants in coffee mostly we just like talking you know what's incredible to me is that my our friend here lives in Japan he's from Sweden and he's still for some reason listens to bad friends what do you mean
Starting point is 01:00:17 he like I know but it's just such a weird idea to me you mean it's just like hard to think it's real yeah I mean it's it feels good to me that he likes us yeah but it's just almost unfathomable in my mind I can tell you pretty weird start fathoming it because Oscar is our lifelong friend really nice makes me feel warm-hearted thank you yeah me absolutely me too and I appreciate you guys and Bobby I've been listening to you since like Opie and Anthony oh wow and all and all you've been doing it like all your other success you have right now it like it makes me generally feel very good and I'm so happy for you
Starting point is 01:00:58 that nice it really feels like a like a friend we it is kind of cool to see him do ascend in his career and you know what the most remarkable thing is honestly more than anything and I mean this he deserves almost none of it and it is it is cool to watch he's crying he's crying ask do you see he's crying alright sign off and say goodbye do you want to say anything else you hey enough do you want to say anything else or do you want to ask a question ask you have anything else before we sign off I get emotional fuck you why no I'm too nervous to think of anything I love you buddy we love you Oscar you're the best
Starting point is 01:01:39 buddy look at Bobby shown his boobs for you show your boobs there for us there you go bye buddy bye buddy he's I really did get emotional that was not a fucking lie you did but you fucking you faked you faked it so you might have got emotional after the fact but you faked it at the beginning you faked it at the beginning you faked it at the beginning she knows did he fake it at the beginning I don't know see look I know but you can do that at any point in time because you're holding in so many emotions you can make yourself cry over anything I want I think I want the sweetest guy to date Rudy Rudy the
Starting point is 01:02:17 Swedish guy he's like our age oh he is yes yes he's early 20s maybe I'm wrong maybe he's not but I was early 20s you said you he was cute yeah but I didn't say you would date oh yeah all right he looks he looks he looks more much for sure all right how old does he look to you 25 I would say 28 35 all right no but let's hey let's make it happen why don't what you it's funny because you know I I feel like I'm Rudy's dad American dad I'm sure no there is a feeling of that no I don't disagree yeah and I cut for some reason want her I don't want her to like go to school and come back and go I have a I have a new
Starting point is 01:03:06 boyfriend and it's some fucking dirt bag yeah but I want to be able to see I mean I want to be able to go yeah or no first of all she's out in a year she's gonna go to school somewhere and she's not gonna bring home a boyfriend to you she's never gonna tell you are you are you gonna tell him if it's like serious yeah you you think she's gonna get serious with a boy soon no she's focused on school and life and think she cares about anime and Harry style ding dong the gun the country is gone let's go ding dong the country is gone that that that that that that that that we're
Starting point is 01:03:44 locked down can't go out can't go out to eat with friends because people won't wear masks so we have to stay at home ding dong countries gone rip your cheeks off with my fucking fingers rip my cheeks off yeah rip my cheeks off with your dirty little fingernails I wish you would wash them more than you could rip my cheeks yeah I like you really really do irritate me though you irritate me get me so angry and rageful and it's like I've known you hold on is that music oh are you cleaning a knife yeah what is that for what what what what I just brought it at home you brought that knife yeah here I asked at the
Starting point is 01:04:34 Kaleila if like I can play with it and like maybe decorate it here and she said yeah wait wait whose knife is that I've never seen that night before in my life no I bought it at home and then I brought it here you bought it in the mail and you brought it here yeah on Amazon you brought that and and what is that knife for um I thought that I could play with it but then I thought also that I could like decorate my table oh you want to decorate your table with a fucking that's her station on hunting knife that's your station you're allowed to do whatever you want to your station yeah this is really weird because I did
Starting point is 01:05:16 not see dude I heard a sing sing and I'm thinking use it no no I'm serious I sing sing and I'm thinking oh something someone's got music on in their headphones no but if she's cleaning the knife yeah it's kind of rusty what you know this was you brought this you saw her bring this in I swear to God on my mother's life that I did not see her bring that into the car no I did you remember when we got out I grabbed my hand at the back is there a sleeve that it goes in is there like a leather pouch yeah yeah I think you cleaned it enough stick it back in the pouch can I see it yeah yeah holy shit this has the
Starting point is 01:05:58 dried blood of soldiers on it look at that that's the dried blood of men yeah where did you buy this route Amazon yeah but like from a from looks like a guy um yeah do is it hey is it handmade I don't I don't know but it was like 25 dollars do you want to cut something that's all it was is $25 yeah let me see do you want to cut should I cut this as hard as I can no why can I hold on to it God I don't trust you with it so much give me the fucking knife say please please fuck no jag off you're giving you a fucking weapon I'm giving you a weapon really I don't have Amazon I can't get a knife and get a knife and bring
Starting point is 01:06:35 one yourself I will I want to bring other things as well okay give me the knife put your hand out real fast let let me do the knife game you know the knife game all right do it see what happens okay go ahead put it more in the middle I can't really all right ready oh man this is so fucking no because you'll stab me I want to do it because you would do it and then you'd go oh my god I was just kidding no yes you were yeah put your fucking hand down or I'm leaving that's not fair if you stab my fucking hand yeah I'm dead serious yeah I'm gonna fucking beat the shit out of you I do you don't think
Starting point is 01:07:22 that that's gonna be a yeah be a man slow oh no don't go faster oh fuck this shit Rudy Rudy why do you have that I thought I don't know get close to the mic it really Rudy get close to this is important you thought what I thought that I could decorate I know but but you get candles and you know and photographs that's what people use in America yeah but then everyone's like saying that I'm Rudy with a knife you are Rudy with a one dream but that doesn't make you who you are because you had a dream but it's also nice she does like nice like knives oh my god she's a spooky girl wait a minute can I just say
Starting point is 01:08:12 something at five in the morning I'll just go out to get a water yeah and she's just kind of with her hair over her face wandering around the house do you do that to freak him out or just no I usually just you just walk around yeah and I don't really leave the knife out if you do you want it on the wall yeah okay we'll do it after the show I'll put you can wander around the house she wonders around the house at five in the morning and just any you go hey jewel jewel Juliana and nothing you don't why don't you respond rude um sometimes I don't hear him do you not want to hear him or do you genuinely not hear him no I
Starting point is 01:08:49 don't I don't hear him and that's why he gets mad that I don't say good morning to the lobby yeah you get mad because maybe she doesn't hear you no she's going on she's probably spaced out she has those like I'm about to snap eyes yeah you know like when she tells me when she tells me and she has to learn how to do this better but take out the trash we asked last time and you said it really nice no but she doesn't like this Tito Bobby take out the trash take out the trash as if if I don't there are consequences and I don't know what those are which Filipino witchcraft they do that they have that yeah and she
Starting point is 01:09:32 likes to eat old food like leftovers yeah no but real old like it's been in there for a while like four week five week old fucking sandwiches and you don't get sick from that just one week not four weeks one week is not bad that's been it for weeks and weeks Rudy have you bought more than one knife on the internet so far yeah I have three more in the house do you know that do you seriously not know that she has three knives at the house are they that size um there's one that's bigger and then there's another one that's like just small we you created a monster dude the Rudy with a knife thing took off and
Starting point is 01:10:09 now she's got knives this is how it starts you know this is how those shows start she'll go like this too uncle Tito Tito Bobby look and she'll look and there'll be like someone will draw a photo of her with a knife mm-hmm but she'll look like almost as if this is who I am I mean do you love knives Tito Bobby look this is who I am she does like knives but what do you love about the knife what do you love about the ordering these knives that makes you feel good is it protection no I like this style but then it's also because of anime anime always they have a lot of knives and swords you know honestly this
Starting point is 01:10:48 anime thing because this is a god-honest truth every time I walk by her room and she leaves it cracked open she wants you to know and she just has her big jungle feet she has big feet by the way I know and she'll just be there and she's watching anime 24 hours a day just like just watching and every once well I'll look through and she'll look at me like this and she'll go back to the anime she is there's something wrong yeah but I think it's a good thing she's she's finding a new drugs yeah not on drugs she doesn't run around with loser dudes hang out with loser dudes but she is gonna get her license right yeah
Starting point is 01:11:28 are you yeah we're gonna get her driver's license can we film her getting her driver's test oh yeah that'd be great will you do that can we film you driving is that yeah we could put a GoPro on the car fucking cameras yeah we can do all that stuff yeah are you down yeah let's do jewels takes us for a drive yeah will you get in the car what can you and I get in the car with her never why do you have you driven before ever um in the Philippines never once here in the United States why don't you drive home you want to drive home no please yeah please please yeah it's so easy so easy put your foot on the gas
Starting point is 01:12:01 and let it go go go and as soon as something gets in the way hit it you can drive home you can drive home no let her drive seriously will you do it I think I was gonna get mad she won't even know yeah anti-calayla is the ruler of the house the house maker of the why that's why can't what if you didn't tell her but what if we get into an accident then then well but then but then we switch seats you switch seats right and the cop I'm the one that ran over the family the entire family there's seven people that you ran over yeah yeah all right well Rudy really really we're gonna talk about the night about the
Starting point is 01:12:41 knife thing I honestly I'm freaked out that I wasn't able to notice that she brought the fucking knife into the fucking car I'm beginning to think that knife was already here no no here I was I was here earlier and there was nothing on the floor you brought that in right now okay look at me right now yes no yes what did a Bobby okay Tito Bobby you promise me that you brought that knife into my Prius and brought it here to the studio yes and if I find out that you're lying I'm gonna put a booger in your mouth okay okay all right okay I'm a man of my word okay okay all right come here for this here's what I
Starting point is 01:13:25 want you to do take your headphones off and walk back here with your knife and get between us and let's sign off together okay because last time she didn't sign off yeah and I saw the video was only me yeah because we caught you not signing off so I want to see it with us right here because that's part of the we'll cut to just you we're a team yes you either come with us or your or your or yeah see there we go yeah go near go near Tito with that knife holy fucking shit dude she's gonna fucking kill you guys 100% okay so there we go now look right in the center camera one two three thank you for being a bad friend I
Starting point is 01:14:02 didn't hear you I didn't hear her either loud on your own on your own do it on your own ready yeah one two three thank you for being a bad friend good knife is so legit you're careless with your eyebrows don't trim them you let them go go crazy what would it be? Is he organizing his shop? He's just one with me. Oh he's just chopping into your video game guy. Andres here's Bobby tell him Bobby you tell him to go fuck himself you fucking son of a bitch I swear to fucking God dude all right I put you on the podcast map to your dad Andres Andres a log off you guys log off. No don't log off. I like your shirt.

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