Bad Friends - We Rented Out Six Flags

Episode Date: March 28, 2022

New Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com Thank you to our Sponsors: http://shipstation.com code: BADFRIENDS  & https://betterhelp.com/badfriends & ttps://upstart.com/badfriends &  http://buffy.co code: BADFRIENDS YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriends 0:00 Rudy Conquers Magic Mountain  4:46 Bobby Wins a Tiger 16:22 What Fans Are Saying About Bobby 24:05 White Rubbish 27:11 Renting Out Six Flags  30:40 Bobby Lee, The Dictator 37:43 Rudy's Date Thinks Bobby Works in Finance 48:32 The Reason Bobby's Car Smells Like Poop 56:51 Fancy's Music Playlist  1:00:53 White People's Gestures & More Behind The Scenes Footage from Magic Mountain More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: Andres Rosende & Pete Forthun This podcast episode was sponsored by Candy Crush Sponsorships: on for this episode Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? White dude and Asian dude. You two are disgusting. You two are something. We're bad friends. Anchor. If you haven't heard about anchor.

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How about that? You can make money with no minimum listenership. It's everything you need to make a podcast all in one place. Where do we have to go, Bob? Download the free Anchor app or go to anchor.fm to get started. Look at this. I have to fucking hold it. Look at, we paid, what do we pay, 90 grand for this thing?

Yes. Look at it, dude. Look at this. Watch. Great. I know. What the fuck? This is what, do we pay these guys a bunch of money and I was like, hey man.

It's not their fucking fault, man. Yes it is. Ultima is the worst in terms of products. It's like ghetto stuff. Can I tell you, this is great. Oh, great. This is great. It was Carlos's revenge.

Yeah, did Carlos do this? Carlos's revenge. No, I mean, look at this thing. That looks great. Watch, watch. This will fall. Like the mics, it'll just start to go like this. Dude, if your attitude right now is like this.

No, I'm in a good mood. What a day we had. I won a big tiger today. I'm so excited at Six Flags. And all it took was for me to ride five roller coasters back to back to back to back to back. Well, I like to talk about you. And they gave me a tiger right there next to Rudy Jules. And I'd like to name it because it's my tiger.

And I want to name it Noodles. Noodles the Bengal Tiger. All right. I'm really into truthisms. Oh, trithems? Trithems. And for me, I have proof. We have right proof, right, that I won that tiger.

I'll tell you what happened. We're at Magic Mountain today. We'll talk about it. But you know how they have those games that you can play? Is that what they call them? Carnival games. Let's see it right here. Carney games.

Carney games. Let's take a look. Take this out. You have to throw a beanbag. This is me. First try. I've never done this before, right? This was unreal.

Unreal. Look at this shit. Look at this shit right here. Oh, LA Dodgers. Here I come. Look at how excited I am. You have no idea what you just did. No, because I think I have to do it again.

Look at me. I'm like a child. You hug me. Pause it. Here's the thing. Yeah. Bob had no idea. Bob thought you have to hit it.

You must have to hit it twice. Right. Did you think that, Rudy? Or do you think if you hit it down once, you get a prize? Hit once, you get a prize. Okay, because Bobby was not impressed. He thought, this must be a fluke. No, because I've never won anything, ever.

What do you mean you won my heart? In terms of carnival games. Well, I've been to Del Mar Fair. There's so many different carnivals. I'm a carnival guy. You're a carny, as they say. Yeah, I'm a carny without the math. And sometimes with the math.

Yeah, sometimes with the math. And then. Yeah, and I never won anything. And also, the cameras are on, and I'm with Mr. Man, the man-man. Rudy. No. Oh. Because during the rides, you're like, my dick's too big for these rides.

We'll get into later. Time out. We'll get into later. We'll get into later that your dick is too big for these rides. Some of them, yeah. All the black dudes I saw, they were fine. Both of them came off the ride like this. Oh, man.

It sure hurt. Yeah. So it was incredible what you did. And I was like, what? But the guy was stunned. Yeah. He looked right at me and was like, I have to go to the warehouse now and get the fucking thing. There's an old guy named Michael.

There he is right there. Let's show a scale of him. So Michael, we said he couldn't believe it. Oh. He didn't get it down. Sad. Sad. Yeah.

But Michael, Michael, this dude, he was so confused that Wang came up and did something. Who's Wang? You. You know in his, no, no. Who's Wang, man? I'm speaking as Michael. Oh, all right, right. Old man, white guy, Michael was like, look at him.

He's like, hey, Wong, you ain't going to do nothing over here, Wong. No, check this out. Our connection. He was a prospector. Okay. And back in the day, right? He worked with Chinese people for the railroads. That's right.

Right. So that's, we have that connection going. So he's like, I'll build you. I'll build you some railroads. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You got dynamite detail.

Go ahead. Dynamite. Did you like him, Rudy? Look at how entertained Rudy is right there in the background. Let's pinch and zoom that. Just out. Just out of it. Yeah.

Let me get me the fuck out of here. But time out. Let's, let's get away from this. Let me say, first of all, congrats. That was amazing. That's a tiger. I don't know. Noodles it is.

No. No. Noodles it is. Dumpling. Does it have to be Asian? Well, you're Asian. And it's a, it's a Bengal tiger. Because I'm Korean.

Bebimbop. Bebimbop. Bebimbop. Bebimbop. So that's Bebimbop. All right. Bebimbop. You've had that before, haven't you?

Yeah. It's like rice in a bowl with, oh, so good. So I wanted to, I want to tell people how magical today was. Now let's cut to a couple of years ago, three years ago, right? Jules and her family. Look at that. Fancy? What?

What? Fancy? You don't know her mom. You don't? Yeah. Her mom is, you can fart on her face and it's fine. And she likes it. And I've done it before.

And she likes it. Okay. So we take these, you know, to Disneyland, right? And they're too scared to go on Space Mountain. Oh my God. It's not even a real. It's not even a ride. Does it go upside down?

Pete would know. No. No. It goes straight. And sometimes it goes a little bit. Yeah. A little bit. It's like walking down a hill, going up a hill.

Yeah. You could do that hiking. It's barely hiking. Right. And then we went to a California dream. And is that what it's called? California adventures. California adventures.

All right. Fucking. You're an American citizen. I'm going to let you talk to me that way. Okay. California adventures. Yeah. So, um, they refuse to go on the Guardians of Galaxy ride.

It's too scary for them. Is it? I don't like to draw. So I was really scared. Boy, oh boy, did you get drops today, kiddo. So then two days ago, I just decided, you know, because there was a poo scandal. So at our house, there was a piece of poo in the living room. I looked at Jules and I said, clean it.

She goes, you clean it. And we did a stalemate and it was there for days. And whose poo was it? Mine. That's why she didn't want to clean it. It was my poo. No, it was one of my dog's poos. I think stubbo.

Could it be stubbo? Probably stubbo. And I picked it up eventually. It was hard as a rock. It was stunk like a motherfucker. How many days had passed before the poo got picked up? Probably three days. Yeah.

And I thought, I'm going to punish her. So I go, we're going to Magic Mountain. And when I said that, it was almost as if I said to her, pick up this machine gun. You're going to Ukraine. And it was that her face, she was in terror. I couldn't sleep last night. Yeah. I slept like at 4 a.m.

Wait, why? Because you were so excited. You're scared. And so we made an agreement. We said, you have to go at least three rides, right? Not only did Jules go on three rides, she went on four rides. Four rides. We all went only on four rides and we got the fuck out of there. Did we do four or five?

We did X2, Tatsu, Viper. Riddler. Riddler. That's it, right? That's it. Four rides. We did four fucking rides. Because we had the FastPass, we did four rides in like, what, three hours?

Yeah, three hours. It was amazing. Unbelievable timing. Not only did you do that, you did it like a brave, a pro, an absolute profession. And I am so proud of you. I really am. Let's give it up for Rudy Jules. Let me ask you something, Jules.

Would you go back again? Yeah, I'd go back again. You had fun. Yeah, I had fun after the first one. Okay, the first one, to be fair, Bobby and I did put her on the, what is it, scariest, most intense ride. You go upside down and backwards, and it swings, so it rotates over itself. Yeah.

It's called X2. X2. X2. Sponsored by Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew's X2. Yeah, and you did that. Are you a Jew? Jump on X2.

Yeah. And then I thought the scary was Tatsu, yeah? Tatsu. This is Tatsu. Like the ramen. Yeah. And this is one of my favorite parts. Look at her little legs.

Look at her little legs are shaking. Look at her little rib- Oh, panic. Oh, panic. They hang you up like a piece of clothing. Yeah, yeah, look at that. They put you away like a shirt in a closet, and look at that, dude. Look at that.

Here we go. Off you go. Unnatural. Honestly? Yeah. That was the ride. Bobby said this when we got off. You'll agree, I bet.

It was the one where if an accident did happen, did happen, it would happen on that ride. Like it felt like the thing that was holding you in was just your shoulders. Well, you're facing planet Earth. Yeah. You're facing planet Earth. Beautiful. Planet Earth is beautiful. Right?

But not when you're way above it. I mean, you know I love that stuff because I'm a weirdo. I know. But so when you think if this just detaches, your life is over. Imagine if this just clack, clack, clack, clack. Just a little two- Two-clack, clack, clack. Two-clack, clack.

Two-clack, clack. You're dead. Yeah, especially this skinny one. My sister said to me, my sister and her best friend came with us. And my sister turned to me and she said, this is not going to come undone, right? Right? She got real nervous and I said, no, I promise you it won't. But then there was a moment in my mind that I thought, that's going to be so shitty if

she dies and I promised her, it wouldn't, if I said I promise you, I love you, you're my sister, and then it does and she dies, will that, do I tell my parents? Would I say something? I'm going to tell your parents. Like he promised her. He promised that she wasn't going to die and she died. Oh, you have a really bad son. Bad son.

If she would have died, I would have to face her family. But you said this and we talked about this at the park. Imagine, the Rudy Bad Friends funeral would be so fun, we throw a party. Are you going to go to the Philippines? We would have it here. I'm not going to that. We're not going to the Philippines. But I...

Why, why, why? What, what? I was born in the Philippines. Yeah. But you live here now. This is the real life. This is real. That's your pre-life.

You know, that's before you started to get to live. Yeah. You're not living there. I want my ashes to be thrown on the ocean. No, a lake. We have an ocean right here. We have a lake. In the Philippines.

No. Let me tell you something. We throw it hard enough in the Pacific Ocean. It'll get to the Philippines eventually. Or a river, right, that will eventually get into the ocean. I got it. What? We'll spread some of your ashes here in California for us.

We'll put the rest in a little bottle or something and put it on a boat to the Philippines. It'll get there. They'll get to do whatever they want with it, but we won't be a part of it. So you'll get there. I'll also probably relapse. I'll relapse and do a Keith Richards. I'll mix your ashes with some cocaine. And snort it.

And snort it. What? Okay. So that you're inside me. And that's not weird. Is that weird? No. I feel like that's not...

I'll brush my teeth with you. I'll mix you into some toothpaste. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll shine up my rooted teeth. Oh, I know what I'll do. You know what I'll do? I'll play pool and I'll use your ashes as a little cue. As the chalk.

A chalk. Right? What else will we do? I'll mix some nastics and I'll use it as the powder. I'll use it as a powder and swing. Uneven bars. Yeah. What else?

You know what I'll do? I'll work at Portillo's, the bakery, and I'll mix in your ashes with the flour. The dough. Dough. And we'll have a delicious, disgusting, disgusting pie. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Are you happy?

Are you happy? I'm fine with that. Okay, good. What would you do with my ashes? Well, we wouldn't burn you. Oh, you keep me alive. We would keep you in fully intact. Yeah.

And I would sit you in that chair. Yeah. I would sit you in the chair, just like that. And I would stuff you like a fucking stuffed animal. Yeah. Just so I could look at you. And I would still podcast with you. I would just have your body there and I'd podcast with you.

Right. But underneath the table, you would have Ken Jong. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Mouth on everything. Yeah. Well, any of the Koreans I know. They wouldn't know the difference.

Just fuck my body. Just use any other Korean to say it to me. Oh, we're going to fuck your body. Oh, good, good. Because there was a doctor, not a doctor. Yeah, there was a doctor back in the 1900s. And he had a patient who was a young girl and she died from some sort of like flu or Spanish flu or something like that.

Right. And he... Spanish flu. Yeah. And he quit being a doctor and they never found her corpse. Oh, no. Yeah. And then like 30 years down the road, the sister found out where he was living and they went

upstairs and there was her sister still and he had like... What? What do you want? What reaction do you want from me? 40, not 40. Go on. I think you'd be horny. Go on. Yeah.

But he did some things. You know what I mean? Don't do that. I don't want that to happen. No, it's gross. I would never do that to you. Yeah. And I'll take good care of your body when you're gone.

Can you? I'll take better care of your body when you're gone than you do while you're alive. Oh, really? Yeah. Think about it. Yeah. Although I want to say something. What?

I want to say something. And I've said it to you multiple times. This is a fact and you'll agree. I'll test. I've said, Bob, you're looking healthier. You're looking better than ever. Didn't I say at the comedy store and you thought I was talking shit in the main room? And you were like, shut up.

And I was being serious. And what happened today? At the park, I posted on Instagram a picture of me and you and the Green Lantern. And every single comment. Yeah, I read them. Bobby looks amazing. Bobby, you look so good. It was drug weight.

And only about four of these were girls, but still. But can I say this? Girls have been looking at me again. Are you getting looked at? Yeah. Before they were like, it was almost as if, no, no, it's not like that. No, it was more like, you know, you know, we have a visitor from a different planet. So we have to, you know what I mean?

Be nice to it. We're scared. We're a little nervous. But now it's like, I penetrate that. Are you getting fucked? You getting those? They wouldn't penetrate me. Yeah, they would.

Yeah, they would. Yeah, you'd be a little pegged. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe their clits can go in my butthole. That's kind of cool. Yeah. New world. It's a new world.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There was a lot of Mexicans there, huh? Yeah, we're in fucking Valencia, bro. I know. I love them, though. I fucking love Mexicans. I love Mexicans. Mexicans are the best.

But there's also a lot of, what's a nice way to say white trash? What is a nice way to say white trash? What do you call white people that are white trash? Do you know what that is? No, I don't know what to call them. White trash are like Filipinos for the Asian community. Stop. I just kidding you.

No, white trash. Well, one guy, remember, he goes, Bobby Lee and he, you know, when you pound somebody, it's just a handshake. He hit you as hard as I've ever seen. Right, but he thought it was like Thor and Hulk are punching each other in that fist. It was terrible. So look at this for white trash. No, there's really nothing at Hillbilly.

Ooh, lay woman, peasant, urinated, oh, untrained eye. I don't know. Look, white trash is an interesting thing. It's a mean thing to say, but you know who you are. No, no, no. Well, describe to me what a white trash person is. If I have a mullet. Let me tell you what makes white trash.

And by the way, I like white trash people. I'm not shitting on them. I'm saying they're present. When you have a poorly drawn tattoo, that's a pretty big giveaway. Like a really poorly where it's like it was done by a buddy in a garage with a big pen and the motor from a fucking like an RC car or something. Yeah. Yeah.

That's like a white trash tattoo. Yeah. And that tattoo is probably of that person. It's the girl that has it. Yeah. It's not her daughter. Yeah. So bad tattoo.

Teeth bad? Teeth really bad. Right. Really bad. Now in terms of what they... Clothing? Clothing, yeah, for sure. Clothing is always a really, really long basketball shorts.

It's always basketball shorts that go down to their shoes, basically. They look like pants, but they just didn't make it. They'll go to the mall and go to like... They don't go to the mall. Journeys and get their shoes. They don't go to the mall. Oh, they don't. They go to wherever they got it.

I mean... Okay. Yeah. Right. Yeah. And now in terms of education, does that have anything to do with it? What is that? Education.

What is that? They don't have any. They don't have any. Yeah. No, no, no. So they have no interest of like, you know, I'm going to read... Read? No, I'm just saying, I'm going to read The Invisible Man because I want to know about,

you know, the black... They'll read Invisible Book because they... Yeah. Yeah. So here's the deal. White trash are solid, good, dope people. Yeah. The fabric of America.

The fabric of America. I'm just saying, you know them when you see them. Yeah, who else is going to work at the Jiffy Lube? Who else is going to get you that big plush doll when you knock over a few blocks with a... Right. You can't... You're not going to do that. Right.

I mean, Pete might actually be the guy that does something like that. Yeah. Don't you think Pete in an alternative life would have been a guy that worked at Six Flags? I'll tell you why not because this is the first time when I was... Because he picked us up, so I had to listen to these two talk in the front. She was asleep on the way back. We were tired. We were exhausted.

And I literally... Pete just kind of piqued my interest because he was talking about like, Sergio Leone films and like, you know what I mean? And he was always recommending me good movies and why movies are great. And then he was like, I went to film school, which I did not know. Did you? They... That's how they...

All these guys met, right? Didn't you guys all meet... Didn't you meet in film school? Did you meet George in film school? No, I met George previous job like ten years ago. Oh, maker. A maker. A maker, yeah.

But maker was a collection of guys that all went to similar film schools into the same kind of network of people, right? Would you go to film school, Pete? I went to UC Santa Barbara, but they went to... Fancy and George went to... Yeah, they went to the real one. You went to a bullshit ass one up in Fantasy Town, Santa Barbara. What directors came from UC Santa Barbara? I couldn't name you one.

Polanski, I think. Did Roman Polanski? Fancy, did anybody super famous come out of your school? Catherine Bigelow. Catherine Bigelow? Yes, who else? James Magnol. Wow.

Wow. That's actually... Like, are you making this up? And you know this to be true. I know this to be true. And who else is from there? Andres Rosende. Of course.

Who will unequivocally become one of the best directors of our generation. I put my fucking name on it right now. I hope so. Ship station! Oh, my God. I love online shopping, buddy. You do. And we have an online shopping business here at Bad Friends.

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That's incredible. Tell them how they can get a good discount on ship station. We'll use our offer code, Bad Friends, and get a 60-day free trial. That's two months, right? That is? One, two, three. Yeah, you're right. Free.

No hassle, stress-free shipping. Just go to shipstation.com. Shipstation.com. Click on the microphone at the top of the page and type in Bad Friends. Ship station makes ship happen. Better help. Better help. Oh, I use this thing.

I love it so much. I love better help. It's wonderful. Look, relationships take work. A lot of us are going to drop anything. Go out of our way to help someone we care about. But how do you treat yourself? Do you care about yourself, Bob?

Because self-care is important. I love myself. Do you know why I love myself? I hated myself. But during the pandemic, I accessed better help. And it changed my life, dude. Therapy did change your life. And that's why we're advocates for it on this show.

We're big mental health advocates for taking care of you. You take care of yourself. We hit the gym. You attend for a haircut. You're trying to eat healthy. Go to Magic Mountain. You're not with your friends. But you need to take care of your head up here.

Better help is online therapy that offers video, phone, and even live chat sessions with your therapist. You don't have to leave the comfort of your own home. It is more affordable, Andrew, than in-person therapy. And you can be matched with a therapist in under 48 hours. How many days is that? I think that's two. Two days.

I'm not good with time. Yeah. Give it a try and see why over 2 million people have used better help online therapy. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp and Bad Friends. Listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com. Bad Friends. That's B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P.com-slash. Bad Friends.

I'm white rubbish, which is fancy trash. Because you said something at Magic Mountain that kind of triggered me. It triggered me. What did I say? You go, keep up, guys! And we're like only like 50 feet behind you. I wanted to go. I wanted to get out.

I know, but it's just like, and I turned to someone and I go, this fool wants kids. Imagine. That's how I did it. And you know what? My kids would be in front of me. They'd walk in front of me. Like good kids. Yeah, but just miserable.

Well, you're slogging along behind with your fucking jeans on your leather shirt. And you're making someone else carry your prize because you were so lazy you couldn't do it. No, I carried it for like 10 feet. 10 minutes. What the fuck? It took us six minutes to leave. And then your sister, who I love by the way, is the opposite of you. And she's here at the studio.

Give her a round of applause. Boo! Your sister's here. And she's great. They came with us. They came with us quite a day. She volunteered to carry my prize. Yeah, everybody enables your fucking behavior.

That's the problem. I didn't go, can you help me? I was just struggling with it. I understand. That's what it is. You put this onto the video, you go, make it obvious that it's heavy. By the way, it's not heavy. Pick it up, Rudy, with one hand.

Go ahead, pick it up with one hand. There you go. Not heavy. She's fucking jacked, by the way. What do you mean? Strong. Look at her arm. Dude, flex your fucking muscle.

I'm not. It's like a toothpick. So let's say this. Not only did Rudy kill it on the challenges of going on three, she wanted to go on more. If we stayed longer, you would have gone on Goliath. You said you would have gone on it. No. No, not Superman.

I wasn't going to make you go on Superman, although I'm fucking pissed you didn't go on that with me. So that's the one I don't think I'd ever want to go on. Why? It's so funny. Because I don't like going all the way up. No, it doesn't do that. It goes to the top and it clicks.

No, it doesn't. It goes up and then gravity pulls it right back down. So you don't slowly go up and then get dropped? Well, you go super fast and then it goes until it can't go anymore. Yeah. And then you drop back down. And then how many times does it do it? Twice.

I think it's only two times. At once. Is it only one time? Yeah. Even better. You know what? I promise you the next time I'm there. We go together again.

I'll do it again. Tomorrow morning. Can we go? No. But she wants to go back, right? Would you go back? Yeah, but not this week. Maybe next year.

All right. Next week. Let's go later this week. Next year. The only reason Rudy could go is because she was on spring break. While other kids are out doing bumps, partying at Lake Havasu. You know what I mean? Motor boat and tits, doing backflips off of rocks.

You were with your uncles. What do you call those guys to them? You know, acquaintances. What do you call them? Well, she calls them. You call us Tito's. And what are they? They can be Kuyas.

Kuyas? Is that ants? No, they're brothers and sisters. Like older brother. Oh, okay. See, we were uncles. Yeah. And I don't like being called Tito.

So I said, call me Mr. Lee from now on because she won't do it. No, we're Tito's. You want to be a Tito? I love it. I think it's such an interim of endearment that she's given us. But check it. I know what we can do, though. One time I went to Magic Mountain and David chose friend.

Had bought it out. Ugh. Right? I would do that. How much does that cost? I don't know. But I would love to do one with a bunch of comedy comedians. That, honestly?

Yeah. Well, you probably have to do it at night, right? You have to do like- It was at night. Yes, that makes sense. And all the rides were open. What does it cost to rent out Six Flags Magic Mountain? I would 100% do that.

Yeah, but it seems like it's a hundred grand. No way. Yeah. Really? The employees getting all the machines to be working. I think so, man. Every ride was open. A hundred grand an hour.

A hundred grand for an hour. Yeah. So if- Holy shit. We do three hours. 300 grand. Do you want to start a GoFundMe to see if we could do it? This is what we do. We do a GoFundMe, right?

And then- And we do a Bad Friends party. And then, okay, check this out. Yeah. We do a GoFundMe. Yeah. And anyone that contributes more than $100 is obviously invited. Really?

Yeah. $250. $500. $500. $500. If you donate- Okay, you heard it here. If you donate $1,000. Yeah.

Per person. $300,000. Pay for the whole thing. Let me tell you something. Yeah, yeah. If we have a rich Saudi, like Prince that watches the show, wherever you are, I know you're out there, please do this for us. And we'll do anything for you.

And I mean anything. Yeah. We'll do a show. We'll do anything. If a Saudi prince said, I'll give you the money, but you have to come and be my fuckslave. Yeah. Would you do it? I would say-

What was that accent? Your mom can fucking fuck me with her clit. That Saudi clit fucking? Yeah. What if this Saudi prince bumped into you somewhere and was like, come back to Saudi with me and be my princess. I give you $100 million. He seems cute.

There you go. That's all it takes. Right. But then- Once they heard the number. You're not allowed to drive. Women can't drive in Saudi Arabia. Can they still not drive?

No. I think they just were allowed to a couple years ago. Oh, they did? They just got changed. You can only drive like a scooter or something. But if you like stutter or misstep anything verbally, they're allowed to stone you into death in the streets. Yeah.

If you make one mistake, they can kill you. Like if you chew gum and just throw the- But I thought I was going to be a princess. Yeah, but even princesses have to pay. Yeah. You know what I mean? Can I sleep all day? Oh, yeah.

Yeah. That's a good thing. Yeah. She would probably- I guess that's kind of what they like. He would probably forget about her. Yeah. I have other girls.

Yeah. I have other girls. You're not my only princess. And then he might like walk into a room 10 years later and go, oh, you're still here. Oh, good. Still here. Yeah. Yeah.

And she's just sleeping. Yeah. Did you know that Kim Jong-il's dad? Okay. Sick. Kim Jong-sik. So not Kim Jong-il. Sick.

Yeah. Kim Jong-sik. He was watching some Korean movie. Right? And he goes, I want her. I want her. So he just captured her and his favorite director. And they're just- because he wanted to start his own film business.

Because you know the Oons and the Hills and they all love film, right? Yeah. And she just had to do his movies out there for, like, years. That's all it takes, huh? He just captured her. She was just, like, you know, at her quite big pond. Is she free? Is she free now?

She's free. Now, this isn't the early 70s or whatever. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it was a while back, but it's just unbelievable, these people. With that, see, I could see you doing that if you were a dictator. Oh, I would do all kinds of shit, too. You would be a bad boy.

Oh, yeah. I would have, like, Julia Child and Tom Hardy and I'd just be, like, just fuck. Just watch a movie. Yeah, yeah. And I would, like, just- I'd just have mayonnaise and just put it on my body while they're doing it. You know what I mean? And I would just slip, like, you know, I have a slip with mayonnaise.

Like a slip and slide. A slip and slide. Yeah. A mayo slip and slide. Hey. Hey. Just go right back. Yeah.

My mansion would be made out of Vicodin. Oh, so you just pick a wall off? Or just lick it. Just in the morning. Back hurt. You okay? What else would I do? I would have, like, I would have, like, X2.

X2 inside the house. In the house. The rollercoaster inside the house. Yeah, and I would never use it. What would be in your water fountain? What liquid would be in your water fountain? Blood. Blood?

What would be in your water fountain? Your fancy palace? I want, can it be Nutella? Oh, Nutella water fountain. Very cool. Nutella. Not practical, but I like it. Yeah.

You're gonna have to clean those lines constantly. But that's not your fucking problem. Yeah. You're a princess. Yeah. What else would you like in your castle that this Saudi prince is gonna give you? Harry Styles. Where?

Just, he has to be there at all times? Yeah. Yeah. He needs to perform. Every day? Every day. What time, what time does Harry need to perform? I wake up at 12, so maybe at 2 p.m.

Because I have to get ready. You want to get ready? So if you were a princess, okay, you capture Harry Styles, right? And now you know that you capture, he can't leave. He's really bummed to be there, by the way, because he wants to go on tour. Yeah. You know what I mean? I can pay him.

He has enough money, man. He's got so much money. He's got so much money. Is that poor? Then why is he sad? That is such a bad thing. That's a point of view. That's an interesting thing.

You know what? She's right. Why is he sad? Harry, why are you sad? Money doesn't make you happy. Yeah. Look at Bob. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm so sad. I'm going to cry right now. So he doesn't want to be there, right? So he's in a separate room, and then one night you're just like, what are you going to do to make love to him? Does he have to have sex with you every day? Yeah, but he can also have sex with other people.

I want a mold of Harry's dick. I think we can make that happen. We can make that happen now. You don't have to be a princess. Just in case he escapes. See if we can buy a mold of Harry Styles penis online and get this. By the way, you don't even know what he has in that. He could have a fucking horrific penis.

You know nothing about Harry Styles penis. They said, the fan said that he has a seven inch penis. Who? What fan knows this? Crazy obsessed fans. How would they know? They've never seen his dick. Yeah.

Oh, there's his penis. See, that's long. It's long, but it's skinny mini. It's so long. But I don't like the color, but it's fine. You don't like it because it's white. Yeah. What other penis would you like Harry Styles to have?

He's a white guy. Maybe a little bit brown. Do a matte black, like, you know what I mean? Wrap on it like a car. Yeah. Do a matte black. Do a matte black. Like a small brown.

Matt Brown. Matt Brown. Get his cock tinted. There's a tint guy that did windows. They'll do 10% tints. I'm sure on his dick for 150 bucks. Or just take him to the Philippines and just get, you know, all you guys are brown, right? Just go to a new beach.

Eventually get there. Go to a new beach and make him tan his penis. Is that really his penis? I don't see that. Is this a bit? Yeah. No, see, that's a bit. This is a bit.

Who's that guy? That's not him. That's not Harry Styles. See, none of these are him. Yeah. This is all fake. That's a really good penis though. That?

That's not that nice of a penis. It's a sitcom penis. By the way, when we peed today in the urinals, Bobby went to the little one that was low to the ground. Yeah. And it was so cute. It was like such a sweet little moment because I said, you were making fun of me. There we are.

Right there. Look at us. Look at me and my little prince. Look at how cute that is. And that's a perfect kite for your little penis. I don't look human, huh? I need to do why. I look like a big orange leprechaun in my little fucking Asian troll that I brought along.

Yeah. We are cartoon people. We're not real. I'm from the never ending story, like, you know, some sort of creature. It ended, trust me. It ended a couple of years ago. What? Your story.

I have a question. Please. In Six Fags, people likes to take pictures of Tito Bobby even though they don't know him. Why? They don't know who we are. And then they just know that he's a comic that's famous, but they don't remember his name.

That happens a lot. That's... Yeah. Like, these guys don't know. They know, but they don't know. Yeah. But the worst is they go, like, one guy will know, and then he'll go, why are you doing this?

And he's a famous comedian, and then they'll get in, but then it feels weird. But it's always like really young guys, young guys, because they've seen us maybe on something like on Instagram or TikTok or a clip on YouTube or even a TV show. And they just don't remember where, but they want to... They know you're famous. They're not real fans, necessarily. They're not... Well, they're fans, but they're not, like, going to go buy a ticket to see you live.

Right. But they like you. But I could... But if I go, what have I done? They wouldn't be able to tell you. No, you're right. Do you not like that when someone comes up and does that? Does it bother you?

No, it's just weird, because they keep asking, what's your Tito Bobby's name, but they want to take a picture of it. And it is weird. And normally, honestly, normally, if they don't know who I am and they go, who are you? I know you're somebody and they want a photo. I usually don't do it. I never do that. But I've been doing it lately, because I'm just trying to be nice to people.

No, but if they don't know who I am, they usually don't ask for a photo of the... But they know who I am, but they don't know who I am. They usually don't get to the photo part. Like we were in Boston. My sister was with us, and some guy is crossing the street, and he goes, hey, what are you in? Yeah, I hate that. Oh, my God.

I hate that. Same thing. Hey, what are you in? I was just in your mother. Mike? He knows who you are immediately. No, I just don't think you're allowed to do... You don't...

You're not... And I've had fans come and say this to me before. People are like, oh, I know you don't like when... I've never said I don't like when fans don't want to come up to me. I've never said that. All I've said is, don't be mean or rude. And I would love to take a photo. I just don't like when someone comes up and is like...

When somebody grabs you... Oh, I get grabbed a lot. I don't like it. Yeah, I don't like it either. Don't grab me. That's so fucking weird. I get grabbed a lot. People pick me up.

You know what the coolest one is? Yeah. When somebody comes up to you and just goes, hey, man, I love your stuff. I love it. And then they disappear into the night. I love that. I think it's so cool. I think it's cool.

But I love taking pictures. I just think, just don't be mean. Just don't be like... I don't like when someone gets drunk, drunk or tough, because then they think you owe them something. Mmm. Take a photo and you're like, hold on one second. You're having a conversation.

This story happens all the time. Yeah, I hate it. And they're like, come on, man, you're like, dude, I'm talking to somebody that's so fucking rude. Especially there because it's kind of like our home, in a sense. It is our home. And we see friends and family, you know, that's what it feels like. And some people can be intrusive.

Yeah, just be cool about it. Have you been, have you had fans come up to you at Six Flags? No. They were yelling at us at the right. But she doesn't, like, for instance, she's been on some dates with some guys from college and whatnot, right? Excuse me? And, yeah.

Excuse. She knows how weird I am. I don't like that. And I, so, so, her last date, he shows up in this green, bluish car, right? Yeah. Yeah. Was it a nice car? It was, it's like an old one.

For a 19 year old kid, it's nice, right? And I was on the balcony and I was just watching him and she's getting ready and just staring at him and he looks up and he goes, he just looks at me and I go, and he goes like this. But he had no idea, you know what I mean? But what I'm wondering is, when they ask you what you do, you never say bad friends. You never say, nobody knows that she's on a podcast. That's not true. I bet you some of those guys do know that you're on bad friends.

But they ask me and I just say, my uncle does some kind of finance and they say, oh, okay. Yeah. Well, I'm a financial! Imagine pulling up to their house, everyone at home, and seeing this guy on the balcony and being like, that guy does finance? Holy fuck. Yeah, there's no way. Yeah.

What bank is hiring you? Yeah. He has a human trafficking business. Yeah. There's someone in that guy's basement. Or he's a comedian. Either one. Or same.

Yeah. Or you have both. I have both, yeah. No, there's finance. You got to make up a new job for Tito Bobby. Make what? Artists. You say artists.

No, I'll just, I'll be your, so hey. So what did you do for fun? Do you have any hobbies? I like to free dive. Oh, you free dive? That's cool. Um, that really weird looking guy, that's your uncle? Yeah, he's my uncle.

Yeah. What does he do? Um, he's a, he's an artist. He paints stuff. Cool. Cool. Valid. I believe every second of that.

Can I look, look at some of his stuff? No. Why? Just don't. Just don't. Weird. Okay. You got to sell this a little bit better.

Yeah. But why would they want to see though? Because what if they want to see art? What if they love art? If you say art, they're going to always ask, the next question is, well, does he have a website? Can I look at his shit? Of course.

Always. Because you have an Instagram. That's not a good one. You need me to give a picture of your art then. I don't. I'm not an artist. You're fucking lying. Sorry.

My point is, is this, give me another one. Hey, so, what does your uncle do? My uncle does, um, spearfishings. Whoa. And that, I believe there's no way to prove that. Yeah, there's no way to prove that. Where does he go spearfishing? In Hawaii.

Oh, sick. So he makes a living, he lives in this nice house and just makes a living off of just spearfishing fish? Yeah. He just goes there for like weekends. That's what he does for a living. Yeah. How does he make, how do you make money spearfishing?

Because he's not a commercial. Like, I could see if he had like a commercial fishing business, but spearfishing is one at a time. Yeah. So how is he making fucking money, killing one fish at a time? Is he? He gets five fish a day and he's making fucking money? Like, how is this working?

He has a group. There's like, tiny people. Oh, so they're like kind of like an army of spearfisher. Okay, so then it's a hundred fish a day, doesn't seem like you're making enough money. But they catch like really big fish. With a spear by hand? By hand. I see.

Like, how many pounds? He's really good. How many pounds? He's really good. Like, 150. 150 pounds fish. Oh, so your uncle's awkward, man. That's what you're saying.

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Yeah. I like it. I believe it. I believe it. Yeah. Interesting. It's a good trace. Yeah, that was good.

Spearfisher. But not a lucrative thing. Yeah. So let's try to find something lucrative that people would buy. It's okay. If you fail, it's fine. What does your uncle do? My uncle does.

With the right? We're already... Yeah. She's lying. You're lying. Because, you know what I mean, you're... You know what you could say? What?

Crypto. Crypto? Okay. Say he mined... But I don't know anything about crypto. Let's find out. Let's find out. Crypto.

Oh, sick. Oh, sick. That's cool. By the way, with the two dudes in the car for some reason. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We just wanted to know if you're cool the double day. Yeah, yeah. Cool?

Cool? Yeah, yeah. Okay. Yo, so I mean, how does... So he has his own crypto financing? What does he do? With crypto? Yeah.

He sells... He mines it. Mines it. Buy? Mines. Mines? Yeah. He mines it.

Oh, he mines it. So do you guys have a bunch of, like, those six servers, like, in your house? Yeah. Yeah. Can I see it? Can we see it? Yeah, if you want. What the fuck are you going to do when they get in there and they don't have it?

You don't have servers in the house? Okay, let's do it again. What is your uncle do? My uncle does crypto. Oh, wow. Did he just invent... I mean... Yeah, what is he?

He mines it. He mines crypto? Yeah. He mines it. So wait, do you guys have one of those, like, crypto farms here at that? No, it's in another place that... Oh, you can't tell us because it's... Yeah, I get it.

That's totally cool. Should we just go? Yeah, where are we going? Movies. And then we're going to bang afterwards? No. Good fucking answer. Good answer.

That's what I like to hear. And say no when a guy says, hey, are we going to hook up afterwards? What do you say? No, we're not. Say fuck no, bitch. And I've always told you. Say it to me. Say we're going to bang and say...

You think we're going to bang later? Fuck no. But you think we're going to bang later? Fuck no, bitch. Hell yeah. That's what I want to hear. Check that bitch. And I've always said to...

All right, it's just you never give it away. What? I've always said that to her. What do you mean? You got to sell it? No, no, no. Don't give it away. You got to sell it.

That's not what I'm saying. P.J. Bobby's saying and I agree. I'm sweating now. You don't get what I'm... I agree. You got to get money in exchange for sex. That's what we're saying. No, what I'm saying is that...

You're giving your... It's a prize possession. Don't give it away for free. Right. That's what we're saying. You got to sell it. Let them work for it. Right.

Make it a job. No, no, no. That's what... Not what I'm saying. I can't... I don't understand what you're saying. What I'm saying is that... Just stay a virgin.

Huh? Yeah. Stay a virgin. Too late. But don't they have born again for virgins? You can be born again Christian. You can't like reverse virgin. No, you've heard of born again virgins, right?

You can't reverse virginity. I know, but it's guys that says, I did fuck, but now I'm not doing it. So I'm born again. It's in your fucking head, I guess. Yeah. Born again virgin. See? A person who is having...

After having engaged in sexual intercourse, make some type of commitment to be sexually... Not to be sexually active again again, but... Yeah, but they're just... It's just a thought. It's not physical. They can't change the idea that once you've had sex, you've had sex. Right. But if...

That's right because... And you haven't... I know you're a virgin for people at home. Yeah, yeah. You would never... Like I said... Yeah. Good.

That way to sell that fucking wine. That was almost as... What my Tito does for a living. Yeah. Yeah. But do you understand what I'm saying to you is that I, you know, I love you, right? And I want... You know, I just don't want anyone to take advantage of you or anything like that.

Well, yeah, of course. That's why I taught her to say, when somebody says, are we gonna hook up, you say, fuck no, bitch. So also, she did something grown up today that was really grown up. So she broke my Prius. Right? I didn't break your Prius. Okay.

All right. Well, the Prius broke it down on your... In your watch. Because of you. Okay. And it was been in the shop, right? And it's gonna cost a couple of grand for the fixings, right? Sure.

It'll just come out of her. And I said, I couldn't... Because I have to... It's embarrassing. But I still, every time I have to do any purchase over 2000, I have to talk to my money guy. And I just bought a brand new car. So tomorrow, I was gonna go, let's just get the car tomorrow, and she goes, no, I'll take care of it.

So she take to care of the fucking... Did you really? That is really fucking... I am gonna put you back. But she took care of it. That's really grown up. But you're getting a new car. So is she getting the Prius?

Yeah. Yeah. Are you excited? Yeah. Are you gonna get a deep cleaned? I have to. They fix the hood? Huh?

They fix the hood? Yeah. Wow. I think you should get it. Has it been cleaned since... No. It's been cleaned before you. They can make it like super, super nice and clean.

We should steam clean the seats. And I don't know, bless it with sage. You should get all that negative bullshit out of there. All that old Asian driving. I can still smell poo in there. There's definitely smell poo. I can get a guy that can get the poo smell right out of there. Okay.

Yeah. Do you really smell poo in there and be honest? Yeah. I've only pooed in it one time. Once is enough. Oh, it is? When you shit in a car? Yeah, yeah.

But... Most people have never shit in a car. Okay, but can I say this? The majority of people have never shit in a car. So one poo is one poo too many, bud. Okay, bud. All right. Well, you don't have any plastic bags, right?

Get out. Am I a dog? Get out. No. I was on... Just listen to what I'm saying. Get out. You poop outside.

I was on the 101. Right? It was traffic. This is pre-pandemic. Well, even more time to get out. There's bumper to bumper. Right? Bumper to bumper.

I could... First of all, I don't have one of those shit attacks that's like, oh, well, I can hold it for 18.5 minutes. It's not me. It's a white guy, obviously. Right. Whatever. Yo, man, I can't hold this for 18.5 minutes.

Is that better? Spanish guy, go ahead. Okay, still on. Anyway, I'm one of those that's like, if I have to go, I have to go now. Right? Your body... Right now. Poop, poop, poop, poop.

Poop, poop, poop. In that situation, I looked around. I pulled over the side of the freeway. So you were pulled over and you still elected a shit inside the vehicle. Where do you do it? In the middle, on the side of the... You get out. You open the door.

You get out and you hide between the door and the car and you shit. I didn't do that because I don't want people to see my asshole and diarrhea coming out. So you'd rather have strangers you're never going to see again see you pooping in an emergency situation or... I'm a public figure. Or... I'm verified. Or...

Yeah. Poop in the vehicle that you own. That's yours. And then live with it. But that... All right, stop. Stranger sees Bobby Lee pooping or Bobby Lee driving home with poop inside of his own car. But let me defend myself.

You get my logic. It's the only one there is. There isn't. Because I'm going to say this. Okay? Do you think that I can afford something better than the car that I had? Of course. Right.

But I always have told my people... I'm not getting a new car until I shit in the water. No, that's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying get me a tarot of like, you know, a nice car but like cheap, right? The cheapest you can get. Prius. So that I can just bang it up and I can smoke in it and I can throw shit around burritos and whatnot.

Right? Yeah. What am I getting now? I'm getting a nice Audi A5. Yeah. Audi A5. Take a... Pull up a picture of what he's going to do and we're going to wrap it black.

I'm going to wrap it black. Right. Can I say this? Yeah. I do want to put a bad friend symbol on the car. Okay. I want to. I want to.

It's your car but I want it. There's an Audi A5. Bring up black Audi A5. So that's what I'm getting. All right. A four door black Audi A5. But also matte black. Let's see if we'll put matte black on top.

Right. So that's what I'm getting. Right. I'm getting this car. Look at that. That's Bobby Lee's new car. That's my new car. It looks like a Batman car.

It does look like a Batman car. That's why I like it. Right. It's got like a... See that's nicer than my car. Right. So I'm going to get that. Way nicer.

That's coming tomorrow or Friday. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. Bob, I cannot wait for you to get a new fancy car. But the reason why I'm getting that car is because I no longer want to behave the way I want. I don't know I shouldn't my car anymore. I don't want to put sunflower seeds all over the front.

And glue. You know I had a glue thing. I know. That's the most glue thing that I had. I remember. So if you look in the Prius there's glue and poo and all kinds of stuff. And I'm changing my behavior. Well.

So five years ago when you see my Audi it's going to look like shit. Yeah. There's going to be poop in it. It's going to be on fire. It's a yes. Well you don't... You do know that poop has... Poop.

Poop. That Audi has like an assist where if you're stuck on the side of the road and anything goes wrong you can call them and they'll come. Oh really? So let's say you did get shit on your seats. Yeah. Boom boom. You call Audi.

Yeah. And they get out there and they'll clean up the poop right there and get you back on your... Wow. Back on your feet. That's wonderful. That's what I need. It's good customer service.

I love it. So that's the car I'm going to get. And I'm very excited about it. But you said that you have a guy. I'm... I have the guy that's going to... Because it doesn't... Your car comes black.

You want a matte finish. So we're going to have to... Yeah. We're going to have to... We're going to have to take it to my guy to give you a matte finish. Yeah. I want a matte finish. How long does that take?

A week? No. He can get it done in a couple of days. Yeah. That's what I want. You're going to have to give him a photo and all that shit. Yeah. No.

Let me ask you this. Right? I was thinking about doing red rims. I don't know. A little too much? Are they black right now? I don't know. I haven't seen it yet.

You bought a car and never saw it? Well, I googled it. You didn't physically see it in person? You just said I'll take it? Whatever they had? I googled it. I looked at what you just did. Who got it for you?

Clinton? Yeah. So Clinton said, Bob, hey, I've got your 8,000 year old fucking business manager. Yeah. He's like, Bobby, I got you a new car. And you're like, great, what is it? And he's like, Audi A5. Okay.

I want to say something about Clinton. And you're like, Clinton, that's great. And he's like, it's a, it's a 1979 Audi A5. Okay. I want to say that. You're going to get it tomorrow and it's, the seats are pre-treated for poop. Let me say something. I like Clinton.

Very nice guy. Right. I'm just saying, there's a lot of R&B, huge stars that he does too. What the fuck does that have to do with anything? I'm just saying, you know how dark is like black magic? This is so funny. This is Bobby's roundabout way of saying, I have a black business manager because you want to brag that he's black.

No, I'm going to say that like, they just have a way of doing things. Who's they? Magical blacks. Black magics? Yeah. Black magics. So you think black people in general have a way about doing things? That's what?

No, not all black people. Black magics. Not everyone's a black magic. Magic chunks is a black magic. That's it's in this name. Name a black guy that isn't black magic then. Brian Moses. He is.

He is a magic little creature. He is? Yeah, he's a black magic. I didn't know that. I've never seen his powers. Okay. So show me another guy. As far as I'm concerned, every black guy has black magic.

Yeah. The guy from the green mile. Yeah. Yeah. He gets rid of his herpes or whatever. So what I'm saying is, I call him and I go, this is what I want and he goes, premium. And I go, what's the highest thing? I think it's platinum.

I go, that's what I want, two door, one, two door, four door. I go, four door, done. You'll be in your house in two days. So it's paid off cash. Yeah. But let me ask this. Yeah. That's black magic.

No. A white guy is like, wow, we're going to have to do Lisa and you know, but we don't have to look around what the best deal is. I don't want that. You know what I mean? I want to get. Ripped off. Yeah.

Fucking your 1,000 year old manager called out, he was like, we don't care about the price. And then we're like, sell this fucking idiot a car over 20 grand over sticker. Is it, is it expensive? It's not as expensive as your car. Your car. That's not true. Bring up the Nissan Cube and see how much.

Bring up the Nissan Cube and we'll show you how much I have. I just want to say, right? How much is a Nissan Cube? Because I, when I bought it, 2014 is when the last, that's when they discontinued it. And when I bought my cube, I think I paid. Oh, that's interesting. Let me see a picture of a cube. I think I look like your car.

Maybe you have the upgrade of views into the cube. Fuck it doesn't like $120,000 Mercedes. First of all, yeah, yeah, this, the windows are black on my cube. That's why it looks different. Fucking you. Yes. I do have a. Fucking lie.

I have a cube. And you have also different cars today. You had a different car. No, I have a Jeep. That's my wife's Jeep. Yeah. No, but I've seen you with other cars, right? Have you not?

I've seen you in a Ferrari. In a Ferrari. That's not my car. It's your car, dude. That's not my car. I don't own a fucking Ferrari. Yeah. I wish.

Let me tell everyone Andrew has a way because I listen. Thank you for listening to bad friends and thank you for supporting us, right? But you know, Andrew's have had a couple of good years, right? And he's had some nice things. Why can't you say that? Don't be embarrassed. Don't be embarrassed. But I got nice cars before this.

I always loved cars. That's what I spent my money on, was cars. And that's why I wanted the cube. I'm a cube dog. I'm a cube dog for life. Everybody knows I am a cube guy. Yeah. Yeah.

What the fuck does fancy listen to when he goes home? What do you think he listens to in his car? La, la, la, la, la, ba-ba. La, la, la, la, la, ba-ba, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, ba-ba, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, ba-ba, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, ba-ba, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. And then he also listens to... I have a dream too, Richie.

That's like every line in the movie. What? Tequila. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. What do you listen to, fans? As an American, I listen to really like good American music. As an American dude. This guy's really fucking calling our...

Oh my God. I hate it. You know what he said? We were talking about all the jokes while we were walking around Six Flags. And he literally goes, you can't do that to me. I'm an American. He's so cocky now, dude. It's nuts.

And we can revoke your fucking citizenship. Trust me. Pete can get... Pete, can you get this done? Yeah, I got you. Good. And he also says... He also said like he was in the car.

He was like, I'm still working on the movie. Is our movie... So... They have the movie. Yeah. So these fuckers are supposed to write us a movie. These guys went to film school. Well, him and Carlos.

We wanted to do a bad friend's fucking movie. Right? A script. Where is the script? It's coming. Coming. Where? Who's writing it?

Carlos and I. Okay. Even proper English, too. Carlos and I. Yeah. See, this guy, he's really catching up. And he's Rudy in it, right? It's about...

Is it... The Island movie? Is it Bottoms of Turtle Island? Is the making of Bottoms of Turtle Island. The making of the movie. Yeah. It's the making of the beginning. You put up new art, by the way.

Thank you for all the new great art. It's good to see this. I don't know if we can get a shot of George. Do you remember this when we shot him with the BB gun? That was like one of my favorite fucking bits that we ever did because we had all these fans' names and they were going to win something. What did they win? Like a shirt?

Or a... I don't know what it was. I had fancy shirts. And then Rudy's art behind her, by the way. That is such a cool photo. And look at me doing exactly what I do on this show. Carrying us. Carrying us.

Yeah. Yesterday, this is what my assistant had to deal with. So like, you know, I am prescribed a medication, right? I want to get into that. And I went to the ride aid. Viagra. You can say it. And they said...

They said, yeah, this is... All the pharmacies run out of this. It's going to be Thursday until you can get it, right? Jesus. So I had to call my assistant and go find me some in any pharmacy and she found it in Beverly Hills. I have a question for Bobby. Oh, shut the fuck up.

Yeah. What's the question? What is it? Well, if you have an assistant, why did you call us yesterday locked out of your house to open your house for you? Did you lock yourself out of the house? Don't you guys have a fucking... You don't have physical keys, do you?

Oh, he's got to think about it. I'm fucking... No, I'm furious. I'm fucking believable, bro. I'll let you guys take it then. Go ahead. You Spanish fuck. I'm in America now.

Let me see something, okay? My assistant doesn't have a key to my house. Why? You know who does? George. He's like your assistant. Right. So, George, for anything, like get me Red Bull, he'll come bring me Red Bull.

Yeah, I know. Right? Yeah, he's your bitch. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, he is. But wait a minute, your assistant should have your key. That's someone that's...

She just started two weeks ago. I haven't gotten around to that yet. All right. You know who can go make a copy of your key? Who? Your fucking assistant. All right. She'll do that this weekend.

But my point is that George has my fucking key, right? Yeah. And he sends his minions over. What's the big deal? Were you there? Were you the one that came over? Were they fucking... Can you Spanish fuck?

But I seriously want people to... We're going to do a GoFundMe to rent out Magic Mountain. I'm being real. Of all the problems in the world, do you think we need money to rent out fucking Six Flags? Guys, fuck donating to Children's Foundation's cancer. Fuck Ukraine. Can you please donate so we can rent out Six Flags? In fact, I'm on board.

Yeah. Fuck the world. No. It's already over. Can we rent out Six Flags, please, with your help? Rudy was... I love you, Rudy Jules. We love you.

You did such a great job today. You're so brave. You went on every fucking shitty ride that we made you go on and I gotta tell you, I was really proud. Anyway, thank you for being my friend. When white people do this, I'm just saying, no, no, no, no, I want to know... This to white people is this to Japanese people. That's what it is.

So when a white girl goes like this, that's what Japanese people go like... They both do... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Same thing. So what is... So this is like... What is this? Like a table?

I'm so sweet. Under water? I always imagine this is water. You're drowning? No, no, no, no, no, no. But like... No, this is like... It's like an old picture from like J.C.

Penning. Ah, is that what it is? What about when white girls do this? That's... Ooh, that's a big dick. Oh, is it? Oh, that's what it is. That's a big dick.

So they see Chris Spencer's dick. Oh, that's a big dick. What about an Asian dick? I see. I see. That's what it is. Yeah. I'm gonna take a look at his journal and look at my journal.

I'm gonna take a look at his... He's gonna go for this in person. You're taking your boys in there. You're taking this fucking part away. That's the instance of what he did. You just got citizenship. Now you're looking to get it ripped away, man. That one's skinny one, thick one, big one, yellow one, bright one, thick one.

All right, Bob, you're up first. No, you go first. All right. I'll go. You gotta work, man. All right, all right. I'll go. You gotta work.

All right, all right. Yeah, you gotta work, man. Look at how soft this is. That's why. You get that one. Will you get two shots? Yeah. I'm not even gonna hit any of them.

Try. If you hit it and you... If you hit anything... Yeah! Then you try again. Or you win like that. And he wins one. Whatever you want.

I'll take the... Oh my God! The orange one, the orange one. The orange one. Oh my God. I've been looking at it. I've been looking at it. I've been looking at it.

I've been looking at it. I've been looking at it. I've been looking at it. I've been looking at it. I've been looking at it. I've been looking at it. That's insane! First try.

First try. First try. I told him it's a blocky but he won. Awwww. I'm gonna almost add two in a row. All right. All right. I knew it.

You gotta go for the bottom. Bobby, I just... Bobby, I... Bobby I can't believe you did that. That's unreal. Where's my orange tiger dog? That's a colorful one.