Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 140: Reviews of Candle Stores

Episode Date: August 4, 2021

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Starting point is 00:00:23 Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Welcome to Beach to Sandy, Water to Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. Hello everybody, welcome to Beach to Sandy Water Too Wet, the podcast where we are reading bad reviews together. Who's we? Blood related. We are blood related. We're two blood related bozos reading shitty reviews from the internet.
Starting point is 00:01:25 Welcome. Welcome. Happy to have you here. This is episode 140. We're reading reviews of Candlestores, which was sent in by Grace. Thank you, Grace. I am glad to see Alexander again. It's been a while, Cindy.
Starting point is 00:01:39 It has been. I just got back yesterday from my lovely trip. I can't believe you finally did your lighthouse tour. I did. It's not over. I can't believe you finally did your lighthouse tour. I did. It's not over. I did see 11 lighthouses, which was wonderful. I still have many more I'd love to see. I now have a lighthouse passport.
Starting point is 00:01:52 Yeah. Different lighthouses have different stamps. I think you mean light homes. I do mean light. Well, it depends. It actually depends on the lighthouse. So, for example, the light ship. I saw a light ship in delaware
Starting point is 00:02:05 that i wouldn't necessarily consider a light home okay um but it still is classified as a lighthouse but then the one in st michael's maryland that i saw i would argue that's that's a light home i was inside of it and there are beds so it's a light home home is where the light is yeah is what we say in the lighthouse biz isn't that a motel ad home is where the light is it's like come in the light is on i don't know we left the light on for you we that's it i don't think that's it that's literally it i don't think it is yeah we'll leave the lights on for you or something motel six that seems like a little passive that's all i stayed in was motel sixes because of that it's it's a thing in the lighthouse community we only stay in motel six you also have a motel six passport that you get stamped
Starting point is 00:02:54 every different motel six yes um but no it was lovely um shouts out to uh d and shouts out yeah shouts out oh my god it's not shout out passersby passersby um shouts out i don't know if that's even correct but that's no i don't think so uh shouts out to d in new york for hosting me and bringing me to my very first one in montauk that was a that lighthouse was incredible it was a great start and then it was your first ever lighthouse i know it was okay just your first of the tour what i'm calling it is my first lighthouse with intention oh okay this is getting a little much because i had seen lighthouses before but it was like okay cool chill a lighthouse i happen to be on this beach that has a lighthouse you didn't have a stamp yeah yeah and i wasn't like oh i'm going
Starting point is 00:03:40 like the feeling of when you are like i'm going to the east end of long island just for this lighthouse and then you turn the corner and there it is rising before you the beacon on the sea i mean you know it's so weird about long island is how large it is and it did take us like three hours to drive across everybody and i know we get so much weird shit for being surprised by that i love like i love everybody that listens to the show except except you know who you are i'm just kidding we got so much shit for talking about long island and they're like we'll try driving through texas i'm like how many times have you and i driven through texas many many times 40 i've driven north south through texas east west throughwest through Texas. I've done it all. I'm not saying...
Starting point is 00:04:25 I just drove freaking from Baltimore to Delaware, or to D.C. then Delaware. It's not that we're saying, wow, what a long... Philadelphia, then Pittsburgh, then Cincinnati. I'm not saying, wow, what a long drive. We're saying, I didn't realize Long Island specifically... Exactly. Thank you. Despite its name.
Starting point is 00:04:41 Despite its name. Okay, yeah. We sound kind of dumb there. Despite how the whole universe already told me um i just want to say one last thing before we start the reviews which is yeah i'm not even done with my shout sorry go to your shots so d with montauk and new york and then marina and baltimore which uh was a great time especially because of that stout little guy that i saw oh the portly the portly the portly lighthouse that i saw it's a seven foot knoll i believe is the name uh it was quite cute and quite unique um and then someone recognized me
Starting point is 00:05:10 in a lululemon there which i was like you need to he had to call me because he said i needed to explain via words with my mouth why i was in a lululemon to begin with it was a whole thing but isabel and uh baltimore who works at lululemon and was like thank you for being so kind and helping me buy some lululemon pants but at that point i couldn't say no because i'm like oh well shit okay my sister came our sister came over yesterday and was like alexander owns lululemon pants i called them my lulus stop it see that's already um so that's gonna be a thing um so i'm sorry and yeah yeah. Well, I am a little bit frustrated. Tell me.
Starting point is 00:05:48 That you, without warning, sent me pictures of the home of Maximilian without any warning. Maximilian. The home of Maximilian. He lives in the lighthouse. He's stuck under the dock. We've talked about this. At the crab claw. And I feel like you really intentionally yep i did threw me for a loop
Starting point is 00:06:07 with a bunch of photos of the time which by the way somebody tweeted i think or i think they tweeted it and they were like i listened to christina a lot on like both podcasts and she's really never brought up on and that's why you're drinking like 200 some episodes that she spent time in maryland growing up on instagram yeah oh on instagram and like i that's the one, I just don't talk about it. And I was like, oh, that's. Imagine me being back there. It was so strange. I had to bring you into it too.
Starting point is 00:06:35 That feeling of like, oh my God. He starts sending me pictures of the outside of the house that we used to stay in. And I'm like, this is getting a little too much for me um in my psyche my fragile fragile psyche if i'm fragile you have to be fragile that's the law eat at the crab claw yes what did you eat there were reviews remember that said there's nothing to eat here for me no i had some fries okay and a beer okay so i mean i was happy i don't know what people are complaining about then um yeah so anyway that was from the crab crab houses was happy i don't know what people are complaining about then um yeah so anyway that was from the crab crab houses episode or i don't know crab restaurants doesn't matter
Starting point is 00:07:10 but it was a long time ago max million still lives in my psyche i promise and see that all this is relevant to the show because months ago i talked about wanting to do a lighthouse tour on the show so if you're like what does this have to do with the podcast it has everything related with the blood related um so yeah eventually i want to do more lighthouses though because i've got that passport now there are like 700 lighthouses in the u.s so i've hit 11 so you're getting there but i hit 11 in 11 days i'm so impressed okay okay anyway sorry at that rate you only need two more years and you'll be done. Okay, that's fine. Two years of lighthouses? Sign me up.
Starting point is 00:07:46 Oh my God. Okay, well, who wants to go first with candles? I'll go ahead. I've been talking a lot, so people want to hear more from me. I see. This is a review of Paddy Wax Candle Bar and Coffee in Philadelphia. Okay, Paddy Wax. I happened to be in Philadelphia when I found this.
Starting point is 00:08:04 I just searched candle store and this came up so okay here we go it's a one star review uh this is by robert i was so eager to go to the store because i had read about paddy wax coming to philadelphia in the fall and it looked like a really great concept fun friendly and a place i would enjoy shopping because i have a passion for candles so today february 18th 2020 which was my day off i decided to swing by on my way to doing some other shopping in that area on chestnut street but i have to say i was anything but impressed i walked in and saw a few other shoppers looking around and i also noticed a candle class going on in the back of the store. There was an Asian woman behind the counter who looked like she was doing something on a computer.
Starting point is 00:08:51 I decided to look around on my own at first, but was hoping that eventually she would greet me and just ask if I needed any help. Since it was my first time in the store, I had a couple questions, and I wanted to ask about certain products and the company, but she seemed totally preoccupied with what she was doing. One of the other customers looked at me as if to say, is anyone going to ask us if we want any help? I don't think that's what they... I could read it in his eyes.
Starting point is 00:09:18 Could you imagine, like, someone looks at you and you're like, yeah, I know exactly what they're saying to me right now. It's probably they're looking at you because they're like, should I call the authorities? They're staring at that poor woman so intently. Yeah, right. Instead of just going up and asking a question. And she eventually left the store.
Starting point is 00:09:35 I also noticed that during my time waiting for assistance, another customer walked into the store and started to talk to the Asian woman asking her. Why do you keep saying that? I know I hate it. So it's so terrible. It's so unnecessary. He started talking to the female pilot. It's like, why do you? Why must you?
Starting point is 00:09:54 Ridiculous. Why must you explain it? It's not relevant in the slightest. But it gives us some insight into this person's mind, which is not good. Here we go. Another customer walked into the person's mind, which is not good. Here we go. Another customer walked into the store and started talking to the Asian woman.
Starting point is 00:10:09 I can't. I'm sorry. I'm done reading that sentence. It's so bad. This guy would be so bad at writing a book. It just sounds like the worst. This is so bad. Most poorly written thing.
Starting point is 00:10:19 Okay. Sorry. Go ahead. Go on. Asking her questions about the store and how long it had been there. However, she answered her abruptly and without any warmth or interest. So the customer walked out of the store. Eventually, the woman behind the counter said hello to me and then continued to go about her business on the computer.
Starting point is 00:10:39 Finally, I walked up to her and said that I had been in the store for a while, yet it took her over six minutes to even acknowledge me. Sorry, six? You've been timing it. Of course. This person has been standing, peeking over, watching. And listening. Every single interaction this person has had with the customers. And yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:58 Until she felt uncomfortable enough to actually acknowledge you. Okay. Oh my God, Robert, come on. I told her that I was in the retail industry myself and that her customer service was totally uninviting and that I had every intention of writing a review about the service I received. I would think that a new business would be a bit more welcoming to its customers in the hope of building a strong and loyal customer base. However, the feeling I got when shopping the store was that they simply didn't care and
Starting point is 00:11:24 were preoccupied with other things. I will not be going back to Paddy Wax because my first experience, which is the most important, was so lackluster, cold, and unconscious. I suggest they start training their employees on what good customer service is, or they won't be in business long. Oh my goodness, that was a horrible LZM was a horrible oh i know that's why i brought it to the table that's just what sucks it's like you're just minding your business going through some inventory doing whatever you need to do and suddenly some man walks up and starts yelling that you are rude and they're gonna write a terrible review about you and you have no idea how to be a customer representative. I mean, geez, calm down. And to also kind of imply that
Starting point is 00:12:09 because this person is on a computer, they must be just doing other things. Wait, there's been a lot of reviews about people are just on a computer. And it's like being on a phone is one thing. But like at a store, being on a computer does not indicate like... What do you think they're doing?
Starting point is 00:12:23 Watching Netflix? Playing Minecraft. Sweeper? Sweeper. Minecraft, Minesweeper. a store being on a computer does not indicate like what do you think they're doing watching netflix mine mine what's it sweeper sweeper mine sweeper i mean i'm sure plenty of people play minecraft at work spider solitaire which i never totally figured out but played a lot as a kid uh mine sweeper yeah yeah i lord i don't know um yeah it's just awful i don't know people suck believe it or not we're back sorry we have recorded an episode in a couple weeks weeks now i'm just like stating the obvious all over we're back we're back to the shittiness um okay well i have a review this was sent in by carissa a lot of people sent in candle reviews thank you i didn't even get to like a third of them i didn't read a single one i apologize if i don't get to yours but thank you for your help i feel bad but i took a few um this
Starting point is 00:13:09 one's from carissa uh this is of warm glow candles um off i-70 in the county that carissa carissa lives in uh the building is shaped like a candle and it's pet friendly they also have peacocks on the property so really unique excuse me i don't know that's what carissa tells me is that relevant to candle making i just like the candle place is shaped like a candle like that's cool no no no i mean i'm thinking about the peacocks yeah i recognize that it being shaped like a candle is relevant to candles, but what about the peacock? Okay, this is a two-star review, and there's a response from owner. This is by Janine.
Starting point is 00:13:56 Overpriced tourist trap. A cute stop off to stretch your legs on a trip, though. Great atmosphere. All the candles look the same. No interesting designs or molds, but several were over $200. Seems crazy to me. The furniture there was in the thousands. Here's a response from owner. We are sorry
Starting point is 00:14:13 you feel that way. We have candles that start at $1.20 to $37.50 in price and we do not offer any candle for $200. That would be crazy. End of response. Oh, my God. Okay.
Starting point is 00:14:27 I was like, I was nodding my head. Okay. Yeah. That is a lot to spend on a candle. Did they just read the price tag wrong or something? I don't know. Or are they just being purposefully. How do you read a price?
Starting point is 00:14:36 I mean, I guess if it was $20, but like the person literally said the highest candle they have is $37.50. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And they said several were over 200 dollars uh it seems crazy to me and their owner's like yes it also seems crazy to us which is why it doesn't happen oh my gosh anyway i yeah yeah i like that the owner was like yeah yeah that
Starting point is 00:14:59 would be ridiculous which is why we don't do that we don't only the peacocks are 200 maybe that's what the price tag she read she thought it was a candle i don't like that peacock on fire okay my next one is a review of uh glassy baby have you heard of this place no so it's a cherry charity oriented glass shop crafting colored vote vot holders and drinking glasses in the on-site studio. Cool. It's located in Seattle, Washington. I think they might have different locations, but I think it's from Seattle. And a big part of their selling point is that uh so the creator had uh lung cancer and so a lot
Starting point is 00:15:47 so a lot of their sales they donate to charities uh specifically for cancer okay um yes so anyway and these candles are expensive not too i think they're like 5555 or something per candle. So a lot of money, but handmade and like a big part of it is, hey, a portion of this will go to cancer. I don't know how much. It'll go to cancer. Sure. Yeah. We're funding cancer.
Starting point is 00:16:15 No, we're funding cancer research. Okay. So anyway, I don't know too much about it, but that's what I know. That's what you need to know. Here's a review by Katie. One star. Worst customer experience I've ever had ever. I received a gift from this place.
Starting point is 00:16:30 A blue glassy baby called Peace for Christmas. It has brought me nothing but anxiety. Sorry. That's like that time that person wrote an essential oil review being like, I bought like world peace essential oil and it only brought me like anxiety and turmoil and depression. I was like, I don't think that's the oils fault.
Starting point is 00:16:52 Sorry, go on. Well, it depends on what side of, if you're selling the oils, I can see why. If you're eating the oils or whatever, putting them on your feet. The lime oils in your guacamole. Wait, do people do that? Yes. Fucking disgusting. I'm in on the like
Starting point is 00:17:05 anti-mlm like the subreddit and like facebook groups and people will post like oh it makes me ill it's perfect for recipes and they'll put like their lime eat that oils in their like that makes me ill actually really ill it makes them ill too yeah it makes a lot of us yeah don't don't put essential oils in your please don't unless you really know what you're doing just don't i not that i know what i'm doing but i don't know if you know what you're i don't know i love how you're everything deserves a caveat if you're like oh i do this for a certain reason fine whatever but like don't just whatever okay you know i would love to know those reasons eating essential oils um okay here we go okay ahead. I've wanted a glassy baby because the company donates to cancer
Starting point is 00:17:48 non-profits and I was diagnosed with cancer when I was 18. When I lit the candle on this thing for the first time, I removed a gummy sticker on the bottom and put it in my discard Xmas wrapping paper pile because I figured it would get hot and I didn't want the sticker to make a mess. I decided the blue color made me feel
Starting point is 00:18:04 blue, so I put the whole thing in the original packaging and went back to exchange it. No big deal, I figured, because they charge a hefty price for these things and I assumed the customer service would reflect the price tag. Nope. They explained that because I had removed the gummy sticker from the bottom, I was
Starting point is 00:18:20 shit out of luck and they couldn't tell which glassy baby it was from their line. It was Peace, I explained, and showed it to the staff right next to mine on the shelf, in identical colors. shit out of luck and they couldn't tell which glassy baby it was from their line it was peace i explained and showed it to the staff right next to mine on the shelf in identical colors but we're not sure it's the same blue they said um literally it's the only shade of that blue that was there it's not not aquamarine not sky blue not cookie monster blue anyway see for yourself in the attached photo my only recourse was to call some number and deal with another customer service arm of the company.
Starting point is 00:18:49 I guess that's not what the people at the store do. I don't have time for this, so I just left the whole darn thing there on the counter, all $60 of it. I don't want it in my house because it brings up bad feelings instead of the positive ones they've cleverly marketed. Don't waste your money.
Starting point is 00:19:03 If you want to support cancer treatment, there are worthy charities like American Cancer Society, Fred Hutch, and Seattle Children's that deserve our money so much more. Or support another local business that knows how to treat customers. End of review. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:19:16 So, this person receives a candle as a gift. Is that what it said? Yes, they received it as a Christmas gift. They did not pay money for this candle. They took the tags off. tags off yes they took the sticker which i don't know what the sticker looks like they didn't show but off the bottom right went to bring it back and said hi i want to exchange this and they said no like for a different type of candle and they said like not even the same type like nothing was wrong with it it just made them feel blue because it was the color blue i'm sorry can you imagine like for reason for. It just made them feel blue because it was the color blue. It made me feel blue.
Starting point is 00:19:45 I'm sorry. Can you imagine like the reason for your exchange? It made me feel blue. I mean, okay. To be fair, I just, so when I was in Baltimore, I literally tripped, fell in the street. My Nalgene fell out of my backpack pocket. You had to go find it, didn't you? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:01 And I forgot and I didn't realize it fell out. And I fell and I wiped out. It was hilarious. But people stopped because it was so funny and they actually wanted to see if i was okay because it looked pretty bad i was fine i went back to the hotel realized i had a had a couple drinks i was day drinking leave me alone went back to the hotel realized my water bottle was missing went back to where the scene of the crime and halfway down the block was my water bottle and it had gotten hit by a car had skid marks on it was shattered basically oh no and i sent and with with nalgene's you get like
Starting point is 00:20:33 it's a lifetime warranty you did not on their website i put in he got hit by a car i literally said i fell in the street my water bottle fell on my backpack then got hit by a car here's a picture and today like a day later because i sent that in yesterday a day later they were like oh look for a shipping label or shipping uh notification within 48 hours what what are they doing they're getting me a new one what it's it's lifetime warranty yeah but i know the moment i sent it off i was like well it's not really their fault it got hit by car. It's not like it just kind of... Like cracked on its own accord.
Starting point is 00:21:06 Yeah. So I'm going to be a Nalgene customer for life after this. That's crazy. And I'm giving them a little free ad here because... I feel like... Wow. That's really... Go buy Nalgenes.
Starting point is 00:21:15 I mean, talk about... Wow. Talk about... I don't deserve the free one. Solid customer service. Yeah. Anyway, that... So...
Starting point is 00:21:23 But that was a shattered product, least i don't know i'm i don't know what i'm trying to do your guilt here i'm i feel very guilty about it i really do the moment i sent it i'm like am i a karen like i wasn't like demanding i was just like oh let me submit this form and see if it works and sure enough they said yeah we're sending you a new one well that was very nice of them um i don't know what i'm supposed to do with this information um i think this was relevant to these candles being returned i see and something but yeah i mean to be fair yours got hit by a car she took the sticker off same difference like if she came in was like i just tripped in the street outside it shattered like
Starting point is 00:22:02 i under like well i don't know what to do and they were like this candle got hit by a car where's this where's the sticker like you're but in this case it was literally they received it as a gift they didn't even pay for it they took the sticker off themselves and then it was made them feel blue and that's their what i'm what i'm thinking like there's nothing wrong with the candle okay like no and i feel like you're blaming the candle for your emotions which you know don't get me wrong like certain songs like make me upset because they make me sad or whatever but like but you're not gonna go to itunes and say give me a refund because this song makes me sad the song makes me blue um and so i don't think that um i don't think that that's a fair thing to put on this poor candle that's just trying to poor bring you peace and like and this person didn't even donate money to charity like like
Starting point is 00:22:52 yeah they didn't even pay for it did not like this person saying like go donate to charity it's like yeah definitely do why don't you do that then that would be then go do your blueness will go away if you go to seattle children's and give them it just seems so fucking i don't think you're supposed to have candles in the hospital though so oh true essential oils um anyway uh don't need to essential oils companies instead oh my god donate to young living young living please don't okay your turn this is from misty it says hi fellow scarred for life by strove of pita sheafers misty thank you she her pronouns this is a one-star view um and it is written by bailey stop by the store tonight that was supposed to close at 7 p.m. but was closed at 6.36 p.m.
Starting point is 00:23:48 when I arrived. Not really a big deal that they were closed 24 minutes prior to what the sign said. And then the narrator cuts in and says, it was a big deal. Yeah, because I'm like, okay. Not a big deal.
Starting point is 00:23:59 So what was the problem here? Not really a big deal that they were closed 24 minutes prior to what the sign said. The problem I had is that the lady that walked toward the door completely ignored the presences of me standing there. While I'm asking, are they closed or if the door was just locked because of COVID and only letting a certain amount of people in at a time. Not only on top of that, the manager maybe walks toward the door and does the same exact thing while I'm screaming through the door by this time because it's rude to ignore customers like that when you shouldn't even be closed this is unacceptable end of review yeah yeah it was a problem but i'm weirdly the manager had to come
Starting point is 00:24:36 like close the blinds because the poor employee's like this lady's screaming through the door oh my god i'm picturing though the manager going over to like unlock and go and then like taking their hand back like like tricking this lady into thinking that they're actually going to open it for um yeah no uh the fact that you were quick to scream at these employees i think they made a very good call screaming is a little much um for just being closed is a little much um in my opinion uh this reminds me of the time when we read i don't know i'm having so many flashbacks but like we read liquor store reviews in like louisville or something and this guy said he was he's like man they're always
Starting point is 00:25:15 closed when i show up and we were like had this like theory that they just turn off the open sign every time i saw him approaching oh my god um so i feel like that's what's happening here like i approached started screaming through the door and like suddenly they were all closed and locked and nobody would talk to me um francisca and i when we were in dover delaware uh we got in pretty late and we needed food and like everything normal was closed so we see a place it says speedway cafe it's like close at 3 a.m and i was like great they have like the whole vegan menu and everything i was like this is so cool walking distance from our hotel and we walk over there it's like pitch black it's dark i'm like wow okay they're not open we end up going the next day and it's like a like
Starting point is 00:25:58 a diner that closes at like 2 p.m according to their door i'm like i don't know why i thought they'd actually be open at like until 3 a.m why did you think because google said that so i like i should have been like this must be a mistake because there was also nothing else like there was nothing else in that area it was like very i mean there was a panera hotels and like a couple of places but like i don't know anyway so yeah i but my first instinct wasn't they're gonna hear about this online well your first instinct should have been i'm to start screaming and see what happens. Yeah, that would have gone really well for me. I almost did because I was very hungry.
Starting point is 00:26:33 Like I started, almost started screaming, but more into like into the night rather than into the empty Speedway Cafe. It was quite good though. The next one we went for breakfast the next day. But yeah, just go go just go tomorrow what is it bethany uh bailey go tomorrow bailey don't go tomorrow they don't want you okay stop screaming okay yeah don't don't do that um i'm stalling a little bit because i did a thing what uh i stopped reading candle stores and i started reading uh candle apps um what an accident what a strange i don't know how it happened i type in candle stores in google and all of a sudden my app store opens and it searches for virtual candles you were trying to play minesweeper and then minecraft it's i
Starting point is 00:27:26 understand it happens thank you thank you for being so understanding anyway the rest of mine are of candle apps what is a candle app first of all but i mean i'll find out you know what you will find out i'm going to not really talk too much about it it's a but it is exactly what it sounds like it is literally an app where you open it and it's a virtual candle. She's lighting a candle right now. What candle is that? I don't have time for this virtual candle business. I'm lighting something called...
Starting point is 00:27:55 She's not good at this. It's taking her forever. Ow! Sorry, it's really hot. Breaking news! Fire is hot! Ow! Put it down! I'm trying! Oh oh my god that was a here's the thing i'm gonna write them up
Starting point is 00:28:12 no i'm just kidding um the problem is it's almost empty so it's harder to light because there's barely any left and the glass gets really hot because of you know fire yeah there's a fire in the glass and then the glass gets hot i'm sorry science it's called luna by goodness candles hand poured in arizona it's a very bougie candle that i somehow own i don't know where it came from i mean there's another one right here that one smells really nice smell that one soy and cotton it does smell quite nice right sea salt surf wood cream jasmine it's lovely my my motto wood cream and jasmine it's vegan i love it yeah they're all vegan because you know broken top candle company bend oregon okay anyway we're just doing all sorts of ads for things today. Spooning Cafe, Nalgene.
Starting point is 00:29:05 Listen, be careful because they get hot. Okay. I just want to warn you. Let me endorse another business. The virtual candle list. IHandy Inc. who makes a virtual candle HD. What's it called? ICandy?
Starting point is 00:29:18 IHandy. Oh, IHandy. Inc. IZandy. IZandy. Swear on my app store. So it's used for all sorts of things here's here's a good example or here's a good review i don't know actually know what this review says one star review great great not a good app this app does not do what it says for example real candles flicker
Starting point is 00:29:41 and dim down randomly this just has a steady flame that looks good while you are staring at it, but the light that comes from it is mainly white. My advice is, if you want candle light, buy a candle and don't download this app. End of review. Thank you so much for that insight. No one has thought to do that.
Starting point is 00:30:00 I've never thought of it before in my life. No, no, no. My first instinct when I want a candle is to buy a candle app. To download? No, no, no. My first instinct when I want a candle is to buy a candle app. To download? No, no, no. You have to pay for it? Not anymore, but a lot of people in these reviews said they paid a dollar for this. That really hurts me physically.
Starting point is 00:30:15 And it still had ads, so. But like, what are you doing with it? Like, I mean, I understand if you need an app for- You'll find out. You'll find out. Oh, there's more information. Christina, we're going to have lots of reviews. Because that person just taught me what a candle does in real life so i'm i feel like i'm one step closer do you want me to read two more here from this like right now i don't but like
Starting point is 00:30:34 do it first before you get yeah okay so this is a little more inside a negative review though two stars not romantic i was looking for a romantic candle this is more of a dinner candle end of review and i know my candles apparently you know you should type download is talking tomcat talking tom talking angela that's romantic speaking of romance what if you had one ipad that had talking angela and one that had a dinner candle. I am. How romantic. I would bet a million dollars that that has happened. Christina. Yes.
Starting point is 00:31:10 Well, people for at least for this one said this was perfect for my iPad. Like it was a thing to get this on your iPad. I guess that makes some more sense. At least it's big enough to put it on your iPad. So, yeah. Well, here's another,
Starting point is 00:31:22 this is a five star review. This is where. Oh, okay. You excited? Yeah. Um, here's another. This is a five-star review. This is where. Oh, okay. You excited? Yeah. Here we go. Five stars.
Starting point is 00:31:30 Best sex ever. Okay. Wow. What a great app. Kill me. Definitely provided a romantic experience, if you know what I mean. End of review. If you know what I mean.
Starting point is 00:31:41 They kind of laid it out for us. I hate when people tell you exactly what they mean and then two minutes later go if you know what i mean i'm being really subtle here yeah that's in our that's terrible yeah wow if i go over for a date and i see someone with downloading an app to put a candle on the table i'm like this person is willing to spend 99 cents i mean to make our dinner romance a little flickery christina sorry they can't afford your like 50 candles or whatever those are as if oh i know not everybody can i'm just a romantic you know at least and christina these people are not getting burned i know literally freaking out it's so hot it's like hey at least these people don't have that they're taking care
Starting point is 00:32:22 of themselves be nice i know i'm sorry um okay this is from andy who's she her slash they them pronouns who says hey friends i've accidentally found a review from fox oh the fox that fox the infamous yelp elite from buffalo new york y'all were introduced to like two years ago i looked up reviews of the yankee candle at mall of america which is my local mall and found this horrifying review which happens to be by fox anyways here you go it's graphic i'm so sorry what the heck fox what are you doing to this candle i'm sorry alexander this is i mean i'm not because you just are doing it to me too over here but i'm reading okay yeah man so when when andy um screenshotted this fox elite i just had an update on fox's status same black and white profile picture suave as ever suave or suave i say suave now i'm okay why is suave in your head enrico suave i don't know oh okay fox looks looking really slick.
Starting point is 00:33:26 And in his black and white pro pic and Elite 2021, he did it. Not that we expected anything less. Currently has, let's see, 15,620 reviews, 47,051 photos, and 4,433 friends. Fox is killing the Yelp game. Honest to God. It's a four-star review from 2018, but the stats I read are current. Okay, I was gonna say, wow. Man, it must have been.
Starting point is 00:33:56 No, no. Fox was already a 2021 elite. Exactly, like three years early. Three years early. If anyone deserves it, to be fair. So this is Yankee Candle Review, Mall of America by Fox. Four stars. early three years if anyone deserves it to be fair so this is yankee candle review mall of america by fox four stars i just came back from needing to yank the candle which i did in the bathroom get fox you dog you dog you fox i just came back from needing to yank the candle which i did in the bathroom ew sometimes i just get horny what can i say what is this i have okay i know we've had some weird
Starting point is 00:34:31 fox reviews but is this this is another level no going through something i don't know sometimes the smell the fumes get to you in one of these stores you know i wonder if fox reads like old reviews i was like wow what the hell was thinking? Like how we listen to old episodes. Literally what I was about to say. I would say probably because I feel like anyone in such a creative endeavor like us and like Fox, you know, they learn and they grow. I mean, maybe not us, but, you know, some people do. Sounds like Fox is doing a lot of his growing in the bathroom. Stop it. See, you know what I mean? You're is doing a lot of his groan in the bathroom stop it
Starting point is 00:35:05 see you know you're not any better than him sorry he's masturbating if you know what i'm if you know what i mean oh my god can you imagine you walk in and someone has a the lights off in the bathroom but they have a downloaded app on their phone and it's a candle the only time that's acceptable is if it's fox i'll give you permission and it's totally unsurprising um i just came back from needing to yank the candle i don't know why i'm reading in sometimes i just get horny what can i say just me no nobody located at the spectacular and enormous mall of america is this yankee candle store which has higher ratings and more enthusiastic reviews than almost any other yankee candlele store we've been to.
Starting point is 00:35:45 It kind of reminds me of the other ones, but it does have definitely good service that shines more than a lot of other stores. The Mall of America is full of interesting stores and nice service, and this one was no different. And of course, Barbie bought a candle because she has done almost every time we've ever been in a Yankee Candle store, lol. I guess that's his girlfriend? Yeah, I don't know i think she used to have a different name or maybe it's a different girlfriend i'm not a big fan of the stores and the headache that the stores give me because of the strong sense but she likes them i don't know why strong scents give me headaches it doesn't make sense and a birdie foxes has a
Starting point is 00:36:21 way with words it's also a picture of the lossusitan or however you say it like the french yeah yeah so i don't know why that's the photo that's included i don't know and not actually a yankee candle but you know that's besides i think fox just uploads as many photos as possible of everything just to get those thousands yeah it's tough when you reviewed a hundred probably reviewed a hundred businesses that day so sometimes a couple uh they get mixed up pics will get mixed up you're completely right yeah um yeah you know classic fox though i know this is just classic fox you can never go wrong with the classic fox review i mean you can go extremely wrong but that's okay but it always feels so right it's too late my next one is of candle hd which believe it or not is an app that you download we're still in apps. I was like, that's funny.
Starting point is 00:37:05 That sounds like an app, too. Yeah. Candle HD, you download it, and it's a candle. Great. I mean, it's not a candle, to be clear. It's not. You don't get a real candle. This one, 35 ratings, 2.4 stars.
Starting point is 00:37:19 Oh, no. Who is the 35th person who's like, I'll give it a shot? I think maybe my experience will be better. Well, here's part of the reason why it doesn't have maybe the best reviews. Okay. This is a one-star review. I can't believe the ad for a hardening pill continuously during the burning of the candle. And I'm not even a man.
Starting point is 00:37:40 I will be removing. End of review. That's pretty bad. That is pretty bad. No. But hey hey like considering what other people are using i guess it's romantic it's weirdly uh fitting can you imagine though if you're sitting there having a romantic like third date with somebody and then like the app just keeps flashing like by acra i feel like it could kill the mood probably i was on the subway in new york and there are all these like what is it roman the erectile dysfunction ads or whatever oh yeah the website and i was like what is that and i like didn't know what it was did you google it no and then i saw ed and i was
Starting point is 00:38:14 like oh because all the ads were like weirdly like not they weren't suggestive enough to make me think so anyway i don't know why i'm going i don't know like were you having a romantic date on the subway is that what you're trying to get out here i know okay i'm just trying to relate what you're saying to uh a candle hardening ads i'm thinking about hardening stop after fox's review stop stop stop yanking his candle stop it i'm done i'm done are you done with that is that all for now okay i'm going back to my reviews this is what i get for all my cruise ship nonsense like and your freaking truck nonsense too last week don't forget about my i didn't because i had to freaking upload that episode was like oh my god i forgot about this whole forum bullshit that we went through. The fucking like kidnap. Do you remember this, Kristen?
Starting point is 00:39:06 Not really. Oh, yeah. The whole thing about like kidnapping people. This is what happens when we record them so long ago. Yeah, we recorded that so long ago. And now it was like three weeks ago. It was three weeks ago. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:39:18 That's a really. Yeah. Wasn't that weird? So it's really fun when you tweeted us and we're like, what? Wait, what? What was our episode about? Yeah. Oh, when people tweet us out of us and we're like what we what what was our episode about yeah oh when people tweet us out of context and we're like what did we say and why could we possibly have said kidnapping in new orleans um okay this is a review it was sent in by whitley
Starting point is 00:39:40 she her pronouns and it's a it's a one-star review by, I'm sorry, a two-star review by Tammy of a Bath and Body Works in Goodlettsville, Tennessee. Local guide, by the way. Asked for assistance, was told, I've never heard of that one. Let me look. Then she disappeared and I never saw her again.
Starting point is 00:40:00 And Whitley's emails says, some say Tammy is still in the store waiting for assistance what it sounded like what it sounded like was they said they asked for assistance and the person and and the person was like i don't know if we have a candle called assistance but i'm gonna go check that's just i i don't assume that's not what actually happened imagine i've never heard of that one yeah you're right they literally said the way they put it made it sound like that's what happened um and they're still looking for assistance in the back in the storeroom i've never found it oh my god looking for assistance oh my god what a smell
Starting point is 00:40:40 that would be though yikes talk about making me blue what a smell folks would be, though. Yikes. Talk about making me blue. What a smell, folks. Let me tell you about that smell. Shut up. I have two more reviews. Great. Both of the same candle app. This one is called Candle-Ultra Real Blowout. And then the description says,
Starting point is 00:41:00 Multiple candles for everyone. Okay, so we got a dinner candle we got a flickering romantic they also have like music oh like within the app and stuff i did not download it one time renee and francisca and i downloaded a strobe light app i don't remember why i don't know for one of your weird dances probably for one of our home videos but i don't really remember why yeah probably something like that here's a five-star review you light up my life thank you for this terrific candle app i love all the new updates that you added i wish all app developers were as responsive as the developers of this terrific candle app the candles in this app are not only beautiful and realistic the app is now also extremely user-friendly ironically the creators of a candle app are so talented that no one can
Starting point is 00:41:54 hold a candle to them stop see what i did there and a review see what i mean you know what i mean and it's funny in the developer response uh it says hey thanks for reporting update is on the way which makes me think that originally they had a review saying hey this was an issue and then the updated it the developer responded fixed it responded and they were like oh great let me update my review which is nice freaking ideal scenario like instead of updating their view they said actually, actually, let me hit on this person. The first couple lines were so, what did they say?
Starting point is 00:42:31 It was something like really flirtatious, I feel like, unless I just totally misunderstood. What? I don't know. I'm trying to read this and pick the sentence that you're thinking of. There was something that sounded really flirtatious. Tell me. Just from memory, what sentence was so flirtatious in your head? Everybody should be more like you.
Starting point is 00:42:57 I don't know. I wish all app developers were as responsive. I think it was right before that. I love all the new updates that you added. It just sounds so personable. I think the way i said it maybe i just maybe my my intonation was just very sensual i mean it tends to be very sensual normally but when i'm reading somebody came up to to be like i don't know it just seems very um purse too personable for an app developer comment whatever yeah app developers don't deserve that no they don't deserve love i'm sorry i know that's
Starting point is 00:43:26 why they keep making these candle apps because they're just seeking some romance but they don't deserve it jesus okay anyway what do you have okay i have um this is from gabby okay and gabby cracks me up because uh for a lot of reasons but gabby wrote hello to the she for sibs and the tiny future local guide growing in christine which is horrible and then said first off i love y'all actually i just connected with someone on bumble bff because of and that's why we drink and she listens to this too hey girl i promise i'm not a weirdo i just see i just want gabby to find find a bff hey girl i promise i'm not ao. I just never meet people who like the same podcast as me. Now I want you two to be best friends now.
Starting point is 00:44:08 If you're like, oh my gosh, Gabby on Bumble BFF. I know who this is. Come on, go on a friend date. I tried Bumble BFF. It didn't work. I saw this whole thing of someone who went on multiple hangouts with this Bumble BFF for like days. Yeah. And then like they met again and met their, the person's friends and the person introduced them as their,
Starting point is 00:44:31 uh, partner. Um, again, they were kind of like weird about it in Koi. It turns out they were not actually on Bumble BFF. Shut up. So the whole time,
Starting point is 00:44:38 like every time they hung out was like a date to the other person. Well, that's one way to, and they're still friends. So it worked out but oh my god what where did you read that i have no idea oh my god okay that's that's like really social anxiety inducing um anyway gabby says when i heard you say candle stores i knew i had to send you something because i used to work at bath and body works candle day is an actual
Starting point is 00:45:02 nightmare what's candle day i don't know i guess it's probably like a discount on candles or something oh boy sign me up oh it sounds like black friday in the candle world i don't really know um although i guess they have black friday too at bath and body works which also must be a nightmare so let's see is a, there were a bunch. I just picked one. This is a two-star review by Ursula. Busy, rushed store, no room to move. Register workers had the friendly attitude of a thumb. Like the thumbs from Spy Kids.
Starting point is 00:45:42 Oh, you did talk about thumbs recently. You did talk about those. I just think that's such an odd expression. Yeah you're as friendly as a thumb like that's very much sounds like a some sort of european it does translated like some sort of weird european phrase that i don't know what language and then they come to the u.s and try to use it in english and everyone's like that's not a thing but we at least know what you mean today mom i was on the phone with mom and she was like you know she's such a bicycle rider.
Starting point is 00:46:06 And I was like, what? And she's like, you know, when someone rides a bicycle, I was like, well, I know when someone rides a bicycle. What do you mean? And she's like, because you push on the pedals. And I was like, this is thinking no sense. And then she goes, which was my favorite thing. Oh, you've never heard that before?
Starting point is 00:46:19 I'm like, no, I haven't heard that before. But it turns out it means that somebody who's in a workplace and is pushing down the people at the bottom and sucking up to the people up top but I was like okay I feel like there are easier ways to say that than a bicycle rider to move forward you like have to use your feet on the pedals so that you're like well that's not how she's doing the pedals are doing the work but you're just stepping on them kind of thing I know she would hear this and go that's exactly what I said but like it's fully not what she described it. The pedals are doing the work, but you're just stepping on them kind of thing. I know she would hear this and go, that's exactly what I said. But like, it's fully not what she said.
Starting point is 00:46:47 But it does make more sense when you describe it. It makes sense to me. But that's just how I did just spend like a week traveling in the car with her. You did get Stockholm Syndrome from spending an entire week. Exactly. I didn't love her as my mother until this past week when I was forced to pee. You didn't love her, you said? No.
Starting point is 00:47:03 Yeah. Oh, until this week. Yeah. Oh, good. Don't worry, though. We're good, though. Yeah. Stockholm Syndrome. That's great. Congrats. until this past week when i was what you didn't love her you said no yeah oh until this week yeah oh good don't worry we're good yeah that's great that's what i'm just following up on your joke so um that reminds me though of a video it's like this is a talk show i don't know what show it was and they were doing a cooking segment and there was an italian chef i think it was italian were doing a cooking segment and there was an italian chef i think it was italian and the woman one of the the woman who's one of the hosts made a comment on his food saying oh if it had this ingredient it would be a whatever like i don't know some type of pasta and he goes and if my
Starting point is 00:47:39 grandmother had wheels she'd be a bicycle and they were like losing their shit and he was like upset that they were like laughing at that because he likes towards cracking up so much and to him it was like such a normal phrase of like so clearly i'm not like the only one here confused by these bicycle idioms yeah but that one i and it actually though when you think about it it's like yeah you if you put this in this it'll be this it's like something dad would say completely irrelevant like who cares like that's not the point here and yeah i loved it oh my god i watched that video quite often right after he said um everyone in there everyone and his grandmother and then he would immediately
Starting point is 00:48:21 say something about it's like oh he always says go in peace but go and i sometimes think about that and i'm like i don't it doesn't totally make sense i i think he's just i don't know he's just saying like i want you got like i'm gonna be polite about it but i want you to leave my house but the point is you have to leave yeah which which like i get it's like really funny every time he tells it to new people i get a little like uncomfortable because i'm like they're're not going to get it. And they always laugh. Yeah, they always laugh because I don't think they understand what he's saying.
Starting point is 00:48:50 You guys, if somebody said to you, go in peace, but go, would you get it? I'm curious. I feel like we should do a poll. Okay. I don't know how we'll figure this poll out, but we're just going to get tweets. People are like, this makes no sense or this makes lots of sense and then we're just gonna have no conclusion so okay that's that's about how this seems about right i have one more i'm done basically this is a five-star review of that same candle app
Starting point is 00:49:16 uh candle hyphen ultra real blowout oh i remember this is five stars came in clutch just like the ad said. I went to my friend's B-Day party. He made some dank hamburgers and then brought out a cheesecake, the B-Day cake. He went to the bathroom. We were sad that we didn't have a candle. And then I was like, dude, I bet there's a candle app. I typed in birthday candle app and this was the first thing that popped up.
Starting point is 00:49:43 I opened the app and put it in the cake. B-Day boy. Wait a second. You put it in the cake. B-Day boy. Wait a second. You put it in the cake? No. I don't. You ruined a perfectly nice cheesecake with all your germ, your germy phone. Yeah, I, that's.
Starting point is 00:49:54 It's tragic. B-Day boy came out, sang happy B-Day, blew on it and it worked. The only weird thing is how the ad full candle blow out. Okay. But I can't hate because it worked the only weird thing is how the ad full candle blowout okay but i can't hate because it worked i might delete the app but it definitely came in clutch happy b-day peach end of review peach is like please stop please leave my house go in peace but go go in peace but go you keep putting things in my cake when i go to the bathroom that is pretty gross yeah it's pretty gross like it's already gross as we've all learned through covid to blow on candles like this was
Starting point is 00:50:28 also a year ago so oh yikes so it was not a good time super duper poor peach was like i bought that at costco yesterday um i just yeah it's like we've already kind of learned like blowing on candles on a cake is like already iffy but then to stick your germy ass phone in it and then blow on it that's a little much although i do get it that is kind of fun to download a little birthday candle app yeah and there were other reviews of like during covid they were like we actually instead of having candles on our cake like that's very like we had a small get together with our family and like i downloaded this app and had them blow onto the phone and it was like that's very sweet i like that it was like a way to have the the birthday candle experience without the actual uh candles and spittle on yeah yeah and like you know maybe we should tell tim because
Starting point is 00:51:16 our stepdad is like really not about fire like candles and stuff i mean maybe it's because that's i don't know how to light them yeah i don't blame them i'm looking at you like well you're looking at me like no that's only for you you're the only one who's not allowed to use candles we've played with so many open flames in the past week when we were hanging out just because you were getting it all out of his system it was great tim would hate that joke we'd say like hey what do we want to do and we're in pittsburgh and i was like what should we do and tim was like well i've got this matchbook to just head down to the river and like throw light matches and throw them in the water?
Starting point is 00:51:47 And I was like, I've got this cool app. And he's like, I'll do you one better. And he pulls out a matchbook. He pulled out of like, he's got a real candle. Like 10 candles
Starting point is 00:51:55 and they're all connected still with the, he just like lit them and then tossed them into the Ohio. Oh, like nunchucks. Yeah, that's fun. Anyway,
Starting point is 00:52:03 so stupid. Okay. You have anything else for us yeah i do okay so this is a two-part thing that i discovered that i didn't discover i can't take credit but um i don't know if you came upon this during your research but the first thing i have here there's two very important links that kind of um sent down, you know, a rabbit hole. This first one was sent in by Misty. And I think I may have said something else was sent in by Misty. That wasn't, maybe I did.
Starting point is 00:52:34 Maybe I didn't. Oh yeah, I did. So Misty, if you didn't send that in, I apologize. And to whoever did send it in, I also apologize.
Starting point is 00:52:44 I'm a mess. But so the strovelepita misty sent this in and she's probably really confused that i gave her yeah that was a long time ago that was like it was i mean to me it feels like a lifetime ago to you all it's probably like what 30 minutes i am so sorry about that i don't know how that. And I'm so sorry if I maybe that was Carissa who sent it in. But let's see. So that so anyway, Misty sent this and said, hope you find as much joy in this as I did when it first came out. So this is the first kind of miniature rabbit hole I went down. And this is from BuzzFeed News. It's called moms are angry that their Yankee candle orders areders Are Delayed Big Time. And so I guess in 2019, December of 2019, there was this huge kerfuffle, this huge to-do,
Starting point is 00:53:35 because Yankee candle orders were being delayed. Were they too busy yanking their candles? They're called yanking the candle. Oh, sorry. And second of all, probably. So this is an article on BuzzFeed written by amber jameson and i just love it so much i'm just gonna read a couple snippets and some comments that they grabbed from facebook from moms candle moms yankee candle the favorite holiday candle brand of moms everywhere has infuriated hundreds of customers who bought up big and black friday sales but have
Starting point is 00:54:03 not received their brightly colored candles in jars as christmas approaches angry customers are posting on the company's facebook and twitter accounts complaining that they have received no response after inquiring about orders placed over 10 days ago that have not yet shipped so his first comments from megan it's a facebook comment bought candles on cyber monday and never received them apparently they'll be here next They didn't add, if you know what I mean. And then somebody reacted with a crying face reaction on Facebook. Lynn says, I've spent way too much time on hold, have emailed with no response yet, no information from any avenue. Disappointed? I was disappointed last week. Now I'm mad. Respond to your customers. That has nine reactions and five responses. And then Karen literally wrote, I've emailed, called, and waited on hold for hours. Where
Starting point is 00:54:59 is my order? Terrible company. I am so disappointed. so apparently people were waiting more than two hours for someone to answer the customer service line and when buzzfeed news rang the line a recorded message said our hold times are exceeding an hour and the queue is too long and then hung up oh my god so um it's just pretty wild uh a lot of big to do it is and a lot of moms were apparently tweeting saying i will never be ordering another yankee candle again which i somehow doubt um and then somebody took a photo of her phone to prove that she was on the phone for over two hours um a lot of people start and then people started getting upset on behalf of their mothers so maya tweeted my mom's been on hold for two plus hours
Starting point is 00:55:43 trying to buy candles the yankee candle can y'all do something please i want my mom's been on hold for two plus hours trying to buy candles. The Yankee Candle. Can y'all do something? Please? I want my mom back. Oh my God. It's been two hours. Not like two years. Jesus.
Starting point is 00:55:53 Yankee Candle's not holding your mother hostage. I don't want my mom back. I don't want Yankee Candle. Can you imagine you're in therapy and you're like, I actually lost my mother. Stop. Oh my God. To the the yankee candle customer service it's like no that's a great idea though actually yes i did see they probably nobody i'm still on hold no one's taking with the attorney's office then linda tweeted y'all my mom has been on hold with you for almost two hours are you capable of handling your customers or and then missouri mom cindy who is like totally over it okay i just want you to know right now
Starting point is 00:56:29 she's totally over it she placed an order for eight holiday candles on december 6th and said it's kind of a running joke in my family that i always have so many yankee candles but 10 days later her order of christmas cookie red apple wreath christmas eve and home for the holiday candles still hadn't been sent. She has shelves set aside in her rural home closet specifically for the 12 to 15 Yankee candles she has at any given time and ranks them according to season. Quote, I love the fall and winter ones. They are my absolute favorite, said Cindy, 61. It gets to be September and I start getting their pumpkin and apple and then I slide right into Christmas and this year I'm going to be without christmas this is like the next uh lifetime movie but when you think about it if you burn a candle like all
Starting point is 00:57:12 day every day you're going through a lot of candles and it is kind of a big deal for you if you don't have your candles i know but it's also not good for you i mean i know that nobody cares no you're not supposed to light a candle for more than four hours. Really? Yeah. I mean, okay. At least that's what all my instructions say. Maybe they just mean me again. Maybe it's another Tim situation. I feel like it's in their best interest to have you burn as much as possible. So the fact that they're telling you to not burn it.
Starting point is 00:57:35 Yes, exactly. I don't think Yankee Candle is going to say stop burning them so much. Wow. I didn't know that. I'm pretty sure it's not necessarily great for you to be burning a candle at all hours of the day. But Em told me that I should stop saying that because they're going to do it anyway. So I was like, fine. So let's see.
Starting point is 00:57:54 This is what Cindy wrote. I am a very loyal longtime customer. I've purchased so many candles in the past, my husband was not pleased. With that said, I placed an order December 6th, so I would have my faves for xmas so far no candles no response hashtag pissed and she said what i really want from them is an explanation tell me what is going on she said she added i am a huge christmas person my kids are adults and they come home from christmas and expect to see those familiar scents and that's what's so disappointing i bet the kids are like mom we want to see you mom not the candles but then again their mom has also been lost to yankee yes it's out that lot years ago it's an epidemic this has been this is this is not a new thing
Starting point is 00:58:37 though for cindy her rural closet or buzzfeed that sounds so condescending. Her rural home closet. Her rural home closet. Oh my God. And then last thing, Tammy, a 42-year-old mother from Columbus, Georgia, told BuzzFeed she has been hankering for the sweet scent of a magical frosted forest candle. She likes it because it's Christmassy, but it doesn't slap you in the face when you walk in. It smells like Christmas trees, but not too Christmas tree-y, she clarified. Okay. This is absolutely bizarre that
Starting point is 00:59:05 there's an entire article on this i'm not saying that it wasn't necessary i won't go so far as to say that however absolutely i still find it quite bizarre she tweeted at the company on monday i really want my candle dad gummit she told told BuzzFeed News. The candle is something she lights on Christmas morning with her daughter at home before they head to her husband's family. Wait, don't leave the house. Wait, she lights it Christmas morning with her daughter at home before they head to her husband's family to build a gingerbread house. It's not going to be so magical this Christmas, she said.
Starting point is 00:59:42 Get another candle. I'm sorry. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Yes, it will but like it won't okay and then the narrator steps in and goes but it wouldn't be magical for tammy she said she added it's a candle it's not dire at all okay like clearly it's dire clearly it's dire um so anyway this is all just like lovely and i love that buzzfeed uh put in all these like
Starting point is 01:00:05 a mom from green bay ordered four candles steamed vanilla milk christmas cookie all is bright and holiday lights her two beloved daughters aged 12 and 15 live in ohio she wanted to send them the candles as a present um and then obviously they didn't arrive on time so she had to send the package care package without the candles without the candles. Without the candles. Oh, no. That's pretty sad. Wait, who wrote this article? A genius.
Starting point is 01:00:30 Oh, you know, I want to give Amber Jamison a shout out. Because first of all, I think this is weirdly fascinating. Genius journalism. And I hope you had a blast writing this. And this is the last of it. It sounds like you did. I had a blast reading it. So this is the last of it it's i had a blast reading it um so this is the last bit uh after hearing nothing back from her multiple attempts to contact yankee candle she began to worry she'd
Starting point is 01:00:53 gotten scammed it's the time of the year for scams she said made me start thinking was i on the official yankee candle link so then people started thinking they were being like fished or scammed somehow. Someone was yanking their candle. See, that works. I feel like the way that What's-His-Face used it. That one I was proud of. That was pretty good. That was really funny.
Starting point is 01:01:14 I wouldn't have been able to come up with that if it weren't for Fox, though. That was really pretty clever. So anyway, I guess Yankee Candle was like, we know how stressful things are. We're so sorry you're upset um everything will arrive by christmas and we'll make it right i figured it out though what this is all a ploy okay these people are gonna be so stressed out they're gonna need more yankee candles they can't function yeah they need to de-stress with the sense they need to get one of those peace candles yo you know wow that might
Starting point is 01:01:45 make you blue don't get me started on how blue that makes you uh anyway so i know that that was already a lot but now i have something even more dramatic god and this was sent in by both sean uh who uses he him and she for pronouns and uh who's from the hog pen i suppose is what you say you suppose i don't know i i feel like i feel weird saying that because i don't actually know them so i'm like oh did okay so he didn't say i suppose yours i'm saying i suppose and then suzanne also sent this in and um they described it as sort of a a pretty but they didn't describe it as dark i'm describing it as dark as a pretty, they didn't describe it as dark. I'm describing it as dark, as a pretty dark black hole. And of course I saw that and thought, oh good, conspiracy, black hole, here I come.
Starting point is 01:02:31 I believe I saw this on Discord from Sean. I didn't click it though. Sean's already spoiling it. For the record. Excellent. Well, here it is. apparently apparently the candle industry is suffering from a loss of smell due to covid or it was at least and now this sounds like a conspiracy but apparently it's actually true okay this is interesting because i did not click it so i saw like a little thing that
Starting point is 01:03:02 sean had said but okay let's see so it's so the washington post uh released an article what negative candle reviews might say about the coronavirus this is by christopher ingram these reporters these days are getting some really wild stories and i love it um i mean just think you could be writing like when you think oh a global pandemic and then you're like yeah okay you going to write the article about how this affects candle sales. A Yankee candle. Yeah, I feel like that. Which I'm not saying isn't interesting.
Starting point is 01:03:31 I'm actually quite interested to hear where we're going with this. I feel like that's a really cool angle to take. And maybe one of the more enjoyable. Yeah, I feel like it's refreshing. Yeah, it's refreshing. I think that's the good part. To the rest of the news coverage.
Starting point is 01:03:44 So I guess there's this person named Terry Nelson, who's a science illustrator and cartoonist, who wanted to find out if the virus is robbing people of their sense of smell and if that's being reflected in online reviews of fragrant products. So she looked up the stinkiest holiday thing I could think of scented candles and then tweeted. There are angry ladies all over yankee candle site reporting that none of the candles they just got had any smell at all i wonder if they're feeling a little hot and nothing has much taste for the last couple days too and so that was the tweet and it got
Starting point is 01:04:14 like some attention right and so it got thousands of retweets um went a little viral but then this research assistant with harvard kate petrova saw logical next step yeah harvard picks us the internet you know this happens and decided to actually take that hypothesis and test it oh sorry it's kate petrova with the harvard study of adult development at bryn mar okay sorry i feel like i gave the wrong college credit there i don't really know i don't know which one deserves it. Let's just say Kate gets the credit. Kate gets some credit because she decided to test the hypothesis by scraping roughly 20,000 reviews of the most popular scented and unscented candles on Amazon.
Starting point is 01:04:55 It is rare, at least in my line of work, to stumble upon an anecdotal observation that can be examined using such vast amounts of easily accessible data, said Petrova, who stressed that this was a personal project with no relation to her research work. The results were surprisingly clear. Before 2020, reviews of the top scented candles hovered between four and four and a half stars year after year. Since January, however, those grades have fallen roughly one full star. A whole star. That's a big deal. 20,000 reviews have fallen like a whole star that's a big deal 20 000 reviews have fallen like a whole star yeah um so while by the way the control group here unscented candles did not show the same pattern they stayed
Starting point is 01:05:32 steady oh that's makes a bigger deal so there's a graph um and it shows unscented candle reviews are like pretty straight line like pretty steady and scented candles in starting like early 2020 just like dipped really well um and so petrova analyzed the reviews to see if they contain terms like no scent no smell and can't smell she found that the proportion of scented candle reviews containing these terms nearly tripled from january to november from roughly two percent to six percent i mean when you think of how many people got covid yeah i mean yeah yeah this is this is this this makes sense there's like terrifying it's bananas weird and scary but like this is a weird look into this it's really weird um so wow people i like this by the way on november 19th a user assigned one star to a recent purchase of Christmas cookie scented candles.
Starting point is 01:06:28 There is no scent at all, the Amazon posting said. Parentheses, Amazon founder Jeff Bezos owns the Washington Post. I guess they have to say that. Humble brag, I don't know. Humble brag. Okay, washed poe, I get it. I literally had to bring my nose to the rim of the jar to notice any scent another reviewer wrote this is one of the weakest yankee candle scents i've ever had the displeasure
Starting point is 01:06:51 of purchasing um so anyway that's kind of the fun like little rabbit hole um and she oh here we go while i am pleased so petrova wrote while i'm pleased that so many people are getting excited about the power and potential of data i also want to remind everyone that what i posted on twitter was just a fun exercise at data visualization not a peer-reviewed study yeah yeah so don't calm down everybody everybody leave kate alone alone don't tell kate how flawed her research is i'm just kidding um but like it's just bananas no that's so fascinating i mean regardless of it being peer review it is fascinating and it's and then there was one actual um in the one susan the link susan said there was one actual like example of a review
Starting point is 01:07:36 that like proved this okay where somebody d lynn 10 posted one star of a candle waste of money i purchased three of these what a waste there's virtually no scent to these at all if i wasn't confined to my home because of covet i would return these for sure so there we go um maybe take that logical leap i know it's like i don't think that maybe it's not the candle's fault that you can't smell anything um it's the candle's fault i'm blue it's the candle's fault i can't smell wow okay it's the candles fault i'm blue it's the candles fault i can't smell okay maybe the candles have just always been at fault for like everything they're the scapegoat all along yeah um and i just have one redemption before you get to your challenge sorry this was sent in by courtney and who says oh no it wasn't what is going on what is happening with you i
Starting point is 01:08:20 don't know these poor people i'm like losing my mind this is from courtney this is from carissa and this is from sean this is so good everyone they they've they teamed up this is what happens um when oh here courtney what did you send you send something okay fun fact courtney sent in the one about screaming through the door not Misty so I've at least solved that problem okay so at the very least um at the very least I figured that out okay I'm proud of you are you happy now no okay I only I don't care about my happiness I care about Courtney I feel so bad sorry Courtney Courtney gets credit for that one misty you don't misty shut up misty sit down not everything's about you okay this is from amanda who says hi she for comrades my bff
Starting point is 01:09:13 brannon sells some cool candles on etsy her grandma wrote this five star review okay cute okay i'm loving this and said hoping it's not what she actually meant oh dear don't no don't tell me this grandma's yanking candles too god damn it five stars by donna wonderful candle to pleasure yourself stop that's brandon's grandma donna i hope that is what she yeah no this is just this is all about i mean donna was a big part of the sexual liberation movement so it would make a lot of sense that um poor leave poor brandon alone okay wonderful candles to pleasure yourself wonderful handmade gifts to show you love can you imagine being like grandma can you write a review for my etsy shop just to like help me get some get started?
Starting point is 01:10:09 And then Etsy's like, we've removed this really inappropriate review from your page. So anyway, that's pretty much that. Although the shop Black Little Cat, I believe, by Brannon, looks like it has some great reviews. I mean, if you're interested in pleasuring yourself, everybody. Who knows? We know the person who can help you do that. They're handmade and they come uniquely hand gift wrapped.
Starting point is 01:10:31 So end of that. So anyway, thank you, everybody, for your sorry and thank you. Thank you and sorry. Thank you and sorry. This candle thing, this is Grace's fault. So if you have any complaints, please direct them towards Grace. Directly to Grace. But i found that very pleasurable i pleasured myself reading that's enough that's enough i've had about enough of this um anyway let's move on yes time for my challenge which was from nicole they them nicole wanted me to find an amazon review where the person is addressing jeff bezos as if he personally reads them it's a washington post
Starting point is 01:11:16 apparently does that so it's fine it's probably not that hard um i did see a thing about washington post and it was a side by side of the opinion pieces before and after Jeff Bezos. No, I mean, I'm not surprised, but like it is a fascinating. It was just for examples. I don't know how any. So it might just be very pick and choose kind of thing. But it was specifically about taxing billionaires. Oh, come on.
Starting point is 01:11:42 After. Are you being serious? That was an opinion. I feel like that's such a conflict of interest after jeff bezos owned uh the opinion pieces were about how taxing billionaires is not the solution to anything okay uh so and then it was accidentally geotagged from outer space and people were like how did this happen yeah but i don't read the washington post so for all i know there are regardless fuck jeff bezos let's
Starting point is 01:12:06 move on okay um that's your opinion piece alexander's gonna get owned by jeff bezos soon and then he's gonna have to change he's gonna get bought out but no honestly jeff bezos reached out and asked if he could buy out alexander for me and i was like yes you can have him but he's paying me for it yeah so it's all good yeah um hopefully it trickles down to me we'll see which is why i love jeff bezos anyway here's a jeff bezos challenge there was something awkward that happened i found this wonderful review i was very proud of it and then later i go and check the emails and the rich because i realized oh you said nicole who sent in the challenge had also included a review nicole sent in the same sander so nicole this is full credit to you i will take some credit to say that i found this myself as well but i'm proud of you for finding this because
Starting point is 01:12:56 it's the best review ever okay uh this is of monster safari uh which is a movie and let me read the description get your pith helmet because it's safari time first we will go on a hunt for bigfoot and then make contact with sex crazed alien visitors from another galaxy monster safari is a cheesy late night romp that explores the depths of what we know about our world and beyond ever heard the term it's so bad it's good yeah it's uh okay well you'll you'll hear more about it great so this is a one-star review on amazon titled amazon this was a cinemax after dark soft core porn title why is it edited and here's the review dear mr bezos while your stock has soared some of your customer service and content has left me puzzled.
Starting point is 01:13:45 More on that later. A simple thing for now, though, is the Prime Store. Why is it that older Cinemax After Dark softcore porn titles that were rated TVMA throughout the 2000s are now cut for an R rating and considered unrated? Gasp. I loved these hilarious corny romps. Just for the laughs, though. Just for the laughs. Just for, like, no reason other than the headlines,
Starting point is 01:14:08 the laughs, it was all a good time. Um, no, and you'll hear about that. Oh, great. Cheesy stories, hot girls, some pretty long and at times even well-stimulated sex scenes. Yikes. Cinemax doesn't have After Dark anymore, sadly. On your Cinemax channel it has
Starting point is 01:14:25 one show motel which is about as sexy as watching a goat give birth okay you have pleasure spa unedited sex school shorts unedited cinemax had so many great after dark movies and series why don't you have an after dark channel i'd pay 9.99 for that in a heartbeat. It is also false advertising to say that these movies are not unedited. Parts weren't just cut out, but new non-sexual parts were edited in. What? As a customer under this account since 2007, I have come to expect more. Please respond with answers and corrections. Thank you.
Starting point is 01:15:00 End of review. Please respond. And they signed their full name at the end. So it was like a letter to mr bezos wow please respond you think he responded um probably i of all things i would say that jeff bezos would respond specifically about monster safari that has uh 15 total reviews and uh he gets so many messages a day and this one he's like i gotta give in fellas i'm sorry i usually ignore them this one's too good our other like prime our actual prime video titles
Starting point is 01:15:31 no no no like but the soft core porn make us money from cinemax yes yes yes he's like you know what actually i'm realizing too i have similar values to this person and i also miss cinemax i also know poor jeff um that is the wildest thing i've ever heard okay then there was also so thank you nicole for that one uh then there was an email from nora she her who uh sent in a review of the fire tv stick 4k streaming device with alexa voice remote i'm not gonna lie like people really do think they are addressing jeff like yeah okay anyway it's just baffling this is was a long one i cut it because it was oh thank goodness they had also multiple edits about what now they're using roku or whatever because they hated it so it it's a one-star review okay so here we go fire sticks remote is the best i have ever used bar
Starting point is 01:16:22 none that said i am extremely frustrated by the interface. It's just too busy. It's like writing on paper with no lines. Poor delineation and too much work to scroll horizontally. Now, I don't mind Amazon tooting their own horn on the home screen like others do. I don't even mind the trailers in front of their originals. But what I do mind is the auto the auto preview trailers screaming at me in prime video without giving me the option to turn them off tacky useless data eaters and inefficient
Starting point is 01:16:51 a real turn off literally literally they mean like turn off the tv oh don't don't worry i know you're still have fox on the brain i'm sorry actually fox and donna i actually had virtual blast off candles on the brain, but whatever. Just blow on it and then turn off. Yikes. I stopped watching Netflix because of this. So I guess Prime Video and the Fire Stick are next on the list. As an adult, I am capable of choosing what trailers I want to watch.
Starting point is 01:17:19 And as a grandmother, I don't want my grandkids exposed to content in this way. And these trailers just don't play once per title. They play over and over and over every time you browse the channel. I'll tell you what, Mr. Bezos. I want to come into your home and yell in your face every time you look at me. Hey, look at me. I'm over here. I have something I want to tell you.
Starting point is 01:17:41 Something I want to show you. Look at my pretty pictures and listen to my playlist. How many times would you be willing to let me do that? So you and Netflix can, for some financially induced reasoning, regardless of repeated complaints reviews, continue to be obnoxious while Disney Plus allows users to turn that function off. Funny thing happened when somebody listened to consumers. Disney Plus is doing pretty well for itself.
Starting point is 01:18:04 Instead of forced bombardment of advertising, they concluded customers enjoying their interface would end up being more profitable. People do get tired of being harassed and they will move on regardless of how popular a service is. Nothing is too big to fail. The Titanic was labeled as unsinkable, too. As a longtime Amazon customers customers i hope you recognize the error and correct it and before you get on that unsinkable spaceship you're headed right oh wink wink wink wink they said you couldn't crash that thing um wow i mean i bet if you did offer that as a service to go into jeff bezos home and scream at him that a lot of people would pay for that money.
Starting point is 01:18:47 Like if Amazon Prime had that on offer. Yeah. Like a cyber special. I think he would become a trillionaire. Prime Day. Oh, yeah. If he did that. Let people in to scream in his face.
Starting point is 01:18:58 Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. I'm so pretty. You're like, watch me. Look at my photos. Look at my pretty pictures
Starting point is 01:19:05 listen to my playlist listen to my playlist oh my god um wowza i guess people get really annoyed about that i mean yeah clearly um but yeah i think it's also now i don't know when this review was written but i think now on net Netflix you can turn the autoplay off of those I believe I think I did so I think they
Starting point is 01:19:28 listened I don't know if Amazon Prime listened I don't really know but I did start watching Marvelous Mrs. Maisel you'd finally
Starting point is 01:19:36 it's so good it's so good because I hung out with Kirsten and like she's like she recommended it again I tell him
Starting point is 01:19:42 he's gonna watch all these shows and then like he has to wait for someone else to tell him yeah but you know it's fine it's not that i i had started it and just didn't and then kirsten i made a deal where i was gonna start watching that and then she was gonna start because she's like i don't know what to watch i was like you should watch the boys oh that's a good show i know i know and she was like see i listen to you and you tell me to watch things yeah because i have good recommendations so do i clearly well yeah no i do love marvelous mrs basil yes it's very good anyway what's the
Starting point is 01:20:09 other one i just told you to watch recently i don't fucking know you think i'm watching it probably not that's exactly right i want to prove to ever want to prove that yeah you don't even know what it is it was that bad so no it's because i just you immediately dismissed me and so i was like i felt that's not true hurt that's not what i do that's somewhere i don't remember i'll come No, it's because you immediately dismissed me. And so I was like, I felt hurt. That's not what I do. That's not fair. I don't remember. I'll come up with it.
Starting point is 01:20:29 I don't know. Yeah, let me know when you come up with it. I don't make recommendations lightly because... I do. Okay, well... But they're all good. Okay. Anyway, that was great. Do you have more?
Starting point is 01:20:40 I do. Oh, great. Here's one of the Maxted Underdoor Draft Stopper, 32 to 38 inches, gray adjustable, insulation soundproof door air draft blocker for noise, light, smell stopper. So this is something that you slide, has two thick ends, and you slide it on your door,
Starting point is 01:20:58 on the bottom of the door, and then it blocks things from going in and out. A draft or a lighter. A draft or a light or smell. Or Jeff Bezos coming in from under the door. Yikes. Terrifying. This is a five-star review. Dear Mr. Bezos,
Starting point is 01:21:13 my parents stink and this helped. Work allowed me to move from New York to Florida to escape the snow and live with my parents while we are working from home. I haven't been home since I was a teenager. Turned out my dad has this nasty habit of smoking in his room especially right before bed 11 p.m and smoke fills my room causing my nose to clog and difficulty breathing i always wondered why i had
Starting point is 01:21:35 sinus problems when i went off to college like wow i didn't notice this until i came back yeah wow that's that's a good point i guess you wouldn't if you grew up just kind of being used to it yeah totally i installed filters in the air vents but they're still seeping into my bedroom then my mom wakes up at 4 a.m and starts to fry food arg old people are odd this door stopper prevents me from running back to the northern blizzard prematurely no more smoke and frying smell in my room ah end of review wow so that is so so okay it's a positive one it is a positive i wasn't expecting any of those i know um i just remembered what show i was gonna recommend already recommended oh what is it mayor of east town yes you did recommend that i said no no that is on my list that is one i want to watch because it sounds like i'm just trying to prove to everybody that
Starting point is 01:22:24 i'm not just making like willy-nilly recommendations here. I'm very serious about my recommendations. You recommended Sharp Objects. I started that. I'm like three episodes into that. Yes, I did. Yeah, hey, I listen.
Starting point is 01:22:35 But very specifically to you because it fit what you were. That's true. I feel like I'm very particular about. Recommendations. Yes. Yeah. Here's a two-star review now. So we're back to being negative.
Starting point is 01:22:47 Of a show? I forget. Crooked and Narrow is the name of it. Okay. The daughter of a terminally... This is the description. The daughter of a terminally ill ex-cop pays him a jailhouse visit in Philadelphia, where she seeks his assistance in joining the local crime scene.
Starting point is 01:23:03 Now the corrupt cop who put her dad behind bars is hot on her trail, but that might be what she wanted all along. Okay. I don't even know what I just read. It doesn't matter. So this is relevant. For the record, this is not a Prime video, a Prime original or anything.
Starting point is 01:23:21 This is some outside studio. So you can just purchase it on Amazon. And you can watch it on Amazon. I see. Two stars. This is some outside studio and you can watch it on Amazon. I see. Two stars. This one crazy movie. I think they must have used the movie class 101 to get this mess within the allowed $10,000 budget.
Starting point is 01:23:36 Is this what my Prime membership is starting to give me for my money? May have to consider going back to Netflix. Even the halfway decent movies with Prime are charged now. Come on, Jeff. Give up some of that top dollar scratch you are making and pass some of it on to us poor folks well i mean i think that's kind of kind of the bigger picture that everyone's trying to get a grasp on yeah true i i don't generally when i feel that way it's about jeff it's not because of the movie selection on prime come on throw me a bone here
Starting point is 01:24:07 i'm bored yeah give me give me something good to watch buddy you have so much money give me something give me something good to watch hbo level give me some good content shit it's like these billionaires aren't allowing us to watch what we want to watch you don't need to pay your taxes i just want to watch a good series oh my goodness oh lordy oh my god okay uh and then i have one more this is a four-star review um okay this is of ravenol j1c1125 transfer case fluid dtf1 full synthetic one liter this is um an outside also outside brand outside seller nothing not an amazon product um some sort of fluid for a car cool that's all i know about what the fuck this is did i say dtf yeah yeah i did it says it did i tell you what happened to me yesterday speaking is it relevant
Starting point is 01:25:01 to dtf because i don't want to know it's relevant oh mom told me yeah to fluid well that sounds bad not relevant to dtf well kind of it's relevant to fluid yeah i was at a valvoline getting an oil change and i had my window down so i could like discuss with them and pay pay you know with a card and the hose of the transmission fluid broke and it went it like i'm not kidding like doused me doused my car doused me um just oil like all over my body all over my car um and then they ended up giving me ten dollars off that's it yeah and it cost like 200 some bucks with like the transmission what the fuck that's really fucked up i know but i didn't know what to do because well first of all the one guy there started yelling about like my eyes
Starting point is 01:25:46 and I was like, okay, I'm really worried about him. And then he kept walking up to me going, why does this always happen to me? And I was like, dude, I don't know. This always happens? This is what he said. You should probably leave that company. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 01:25:57 Nobody was amused by this guy. He kept saying, why does this always happen to me? And everybody who worked there was like fully ignoring him. And I was like, it must always happen to him yeah um anyway that's all i had to say except i just i was i was annoyed they were like we're gonna give you ten dollars off and i was like seriously i have a coupon for that much that's like not that impressive that is nothing especially if it got in your car yeah but i was like i'm not gonna like be like give me more i don't know i just felt really weird so i just left then they hosed my car off quote unquote they were like you need to pull out
Starting point is 01:26:28 back and we'll like hose your car off but it's oil so i like they're like turn on the windshield wipers just smeared like all up my car and my francisco got in the car yesterday and was like why does your car look oh and she's like i can't see out of any of the windows i was like yeah oh my god anyway sorry i don't know i just heard of the windows i was like yeah oh my god anyway sorry i don't i just heard like fluids and i was like no no no i have different fluid stories but since you took so long i'll save everybody okay thank god my fluid stories thank god it'll be a patreon special speaking of which we had an episode release yes a bonus so that was on beaches it was we haven't recorded it yet we're about to
Starting point is 01:27:05 it's going to be on beaches it's going to be and it'll have already come out by hysterical oh my god we had the best time it was fun um so fair warning i'm reading this whole thing will i regret it maybe but feel free to skip ahead 30 seconds if you want because i don't know what any of these words are it's very car stuff um oh my god why couldn't you just block out some of it because i i don't know it feels weirdly relevant in my head that i read it all okay four stars october 4th 2019 i received one liter and installed 0.85 liters of ravenol atc synthetic transfer fluid tf0870 and drained and refilled my transfer case in a 2012 porsche cayenne s it helped a lot with the turning while backing up binding in the drive train and the
Starting point is 01:27:51 second gear deceleration coast or uneven deceleration problem yeah i know same that's exactly what happened yesterday it didn't eliminate it but it shifts and downshifts much better than it had been. Now we fast forward. So that was October 4th, 2019. February 13th, 2020. I received a reorder of exactly the same thing per the previous order, and it originally appeared that they had sent the wrong item. What I received is now labeled Ravenol ATC Full Synth Transfer Fluid DTF-1. There is an article number label on the back of the bottle. I do, yeah. I can tell. Don't we all? still calls for the TF-0870. You know this is becoming a giant pain in the ass.
Starting point is 01:28:46 I do, yeah. I can tell. Don't we all? Seems like half the time something I order from Amazon is not what it was, or is even not what it is supposed to be, and it's up to me to determine if it's wrong or right. Come on, Bezos. Stop fighting with Trump and get your head in the game.
Starting point is 01:29:04 This BS isn't cutting it. And I'm looking for new suppliers of what I need and use all the time because of stuff like this. Very frustrating. End of review. This is the thing. Like, you can be like Jeff Bezos. I'm going to stop buying games. He doesn't give a shit because he's just going to.
Starting point is 01:29:20 It's just. I'm sorry. It's not going to. Yeah. You don't matter to him. And also. You matter to me. What's even more wild about reading there are more reviews i didn't include but of various items what was so wild is it's of the most like inane yes inane inane things that weren't even amazon products like a pint of oil because Because Amazon, they have terrible practices where they
Starting point is 01:29:46 copy products and then sell it for cheaper and all that stuff. It wasn't even for those. It was for something where outside sellers who happen to also sell on Amazon, have their store on Amazon, are receiving reviews complaining about Jeff Bezos. The only one that seemed fully relevant, not relevant, that
Starting point is 01:30:01 none of them were relevant, but the one that seemed actually to be directed, I guess in the right direction is like, why is Amazon changing the scenes of my favorite films or whatever? Oh, the first one, the first one. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:30:14 You could have just said the porn one. Yeah. Whatever. The monster porn. I mean the fire stick at least like the fire stick. That one too. Yeah. But like,
Starting point is 01:30:23 it's not like Jeff Bezos is sitting there with the amazon fire team talking about the interface like they're yeah it's very defeating because like it's just not gonna do and i it it's not gonna do anything i wish it would but it's not gonna do anything and so it's just kind of a bummer because it just wastes everyone else's time yep um i mean hopefully they got some some venting out you know at least or something let's hope um let's hope that they feel better exactly so that's it though that's all i've got come on bezos get it together it was so funny get your head in the game addressed him in different ways like and mr bezos was my favorite mr bezos oh my god yeah and that was the softcore porn one
Starting point is 01:31:02 yes exactly in cinemax one so which i appreciated yes nicole thank you for this challenge i had lots of fun with it that was good it was depressing as it is it was lots of fun so thank you oh lord lord is right are you ready to announce our theme and challenge for the next not next week's episode but two weeks two weeks from now and then three weeks from now and i uh I figured out this time you give the first theme. I do. I understand. You actually get it now?
Starting point is 01:31:30 You know how I don't have a good spatial awareness? It also applies to things like this where I'm supposed to look at like a pattern and I just can't follow. But I think I finally get it. So you do the theme first and then I do the challenge. Okay. My theme for episode 142, releasing two weeks from this episode's release, is from Samantha. And Samantha specifically talked about
Starting point is 01:31:51 Chicago-based, but I'm going to make it more general. We're going to do reviews of public art. So, for example, That's so smart. The Bean in Chicago. When I was in... That's so smart. Where was uh harrisburg pennsylvania
Starting point is 01:32:08 we drove and i saw a statue of a man reading a newspaper i love that and it was very popular in the area and it has reviews i didn't read them yet but yeah it was jeff bezos reading the washington post probably it's actually him editing it he takes it every morning and takes a red pen and goes nope they say we should tax billionaires and he writes n apostrophe t and they have to change their opinion piece okay um this is the challenge for episode 142 from matt and the challenge is to find a negative review where someone mentions one of their parents is someone special and will make you pay. Sort of like, do you know who my dad is? Oh, so it's specifically parents.
Starting point is 01:32:49 And then Matt also said, particularly if they are a junior or a third. And then Matt said, P.S. I go by my middle name. I am a third and have never said my dad would make anyone pay. So Matt seems a little defensive. Yeah. Matt, I'm going to find your your yelp your trip advisor and your google profile and i will scour every review you've ever read so this is just an interesting angle of um of uh privilege of oh yeah do you know who my do you know who my papa is
Starting point is 01:33:20 um and so that sounds really fun thank you now i gave the theme for the one after that yes you do that was from aubrey um who included a review but i think i'm gonna steal it so don't take it okay um and this is from aubrey and it's minor league baseball parks love it yeah because we got the florence y'alls now in kentucky here i've never been to a minor league baseball game which is very sad i don't think i have either but blaze loves them dni this is relevant dni had tickets to go to the Yankees game. Yankees Stadium. You didn't go? No, it was,
Starting point is 01:33:48 the game was canceled because too many Yankees players had COVID. I didn't remember. It was the only game in MLB that day. I was waiting for you to post about it on Instagram and I was like, I guess you never post. Day of,
Starting point is 01:33:57 we found out that the game was postponed until, I still haven't gotten my refund. That sucks. I'm like working on that well the florence y'alls are the same thing yeah yeah it's gonna be the same experience um but anyway okay so that's a that's a great one i'm excited for that one uh now because remember minor league baseball that's where what's her name yeah yeah yeah yeah nancy was it nancy
Starting point is 01:34:19 it's not felt like a nancy sander or nancy and then it turns out it wasn't even that person yeah yeah half of you were like, yeah. And the other half were like, they're not saying anything. They're saying a lot of words that are nothing. No, there was that minor league baseball team that had a day dedicated to the person. Who wrote a three star. Who wrote a negative review. And they had a whole day and invited the person to come.
Starting point is 01:34:40 And then someone came and they did a whole thing. But it turns out it wasn't that person. Because she bailed. Because they bailed. Yeah, she bailed last minute so they took it like an employee and said pretend you're this person yeah it was a whole thing this sounds convoluted i'm sorry i'll find it for next week yeah what's my challenge the whole thing your challenge this is from rodney who enjoy very much appreciated uh specific segments that we had recently that you you brought to the table i knew it you know what this is huh nope you don't i just knew that it was going to be
Starting point is 01:35:10 something i did oh yeah yeah uh just taking credit oh okay you know where this is going no i don't know anything i'm just happy that it's a good positive compliment about me let's see how this goes i'm i'm i'm yeah you look nervous. I want it to work, but we'll see. Okay. Reviews where people spell pigeon wrong. What? You have got to be kidding me. And Rodney said the same thing.
Starting point is 01:35:31 Rodney said that those reviews, like the pig oin, were so funny that they want to see more pigeon misspellings. I know y'all are very helpful always but if you have any clue how to do this please help me out see if you can find anything the the subject of the email was pig oin um and then they said maybe it's just me but i was dying over the pronunciations of misspelled pigeon so if we can get more that would be great everyone please help out with this one if you can um i don't know how possible this is so what i will say is if you are struggling pigeon related adjacent reviews like possible reviews it'll be fun and funny but yeah i'm so excited any misspellings you can find okay i'm
Starting point is 01:36:17 amped um thank you very much yeah well thanks everyone for tuning into our newest episode after a hiatus that wasn't a hiatus for anybody but us. You could probably tell it was because I'm sure it was all over the place. But thank you for sitting through all our anecdotes and German idioms. And we appreciate you and come back next week for some pig wine. Yep. We'll talk to you then. Bye.

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