Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 144: Reviews of Cracker Barrels
Episode Date: September 1, 2021You've been asking for it, and it's here! Get your Warning: Contains Sexy Stuff merch here: https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Support us on Patreon at patreon.com/beach...toosandy! Listen to Alex's newest podcast, Human Seeking Human: https://linktr.ee/humanseekingpod Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think.
need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast,
but I'd give it zero stars if I could. hello and welcome to episode 144 of beach to sandy water to wet a podcast where the siblings
sheifer read shitty reviews hi uh it's cracker barrels it's cracker barrels our theme is reviews
of cracker barrels brought to you by me um yeah brought to you Barrels brought to you by me.
Yeah, brought to you by you, brought to everyone by you,
but also brought to us by many people because when I searched for Cracker Barrel in our inbox,
probably seven people have suggested it in the past three years.
Just let me take the credit.
Yeah, I wrote from Zanny's brain on my document.
That's so sweet.
In case you're wondering.
Whose brain came up with my challenge?
Oh, did you forget?
No, I think they would love to hear you say their name.
Got it.
Okay, well, it was Mary, whose pronouns are she, her, and miss, never ma'am.
And Mary says, find positive reviews mentioning a long, meaningful chat with a retail worker.
Yep.
How charming.
It was charming.
It was the first time
okay maybe not the first but one of the few times where i did a challenge and looked up reviews and
they were like enjoyable and kind and it just felt good one time you did that and that was not the
challenge because it was true for finding reviews of places where they said someone else would have
liked this but i didn't but instead you found places where people said i love this and so would my mom yeah yeah i uh definitely sometimes ignore
when people ask for specifically negative reviews that was the challenge so you did it i did the
challenge oh we have new merch we do have new merch before i forget before we forget how could
you forget this one people have been asking for something with this wonderful
phrase on it for you guys a long long time i'm so honored to tell you that our new piece of merch
says warning contains sexy stuff and it's a little pouch for whatever your trinkets you
might want to put in it what other whatever sexy things you
want in there right it's only for sexy stuff yeah yeah you're only allowed to put sexy stuff in
there right exactly like i have similar pouches that i put like my i collect like little pins
in it or patches and i won for makeup all very sexy well i i have all my l LMFAO albums in mind. The album?
Oh, you mean like the CDs?
The LMFAO CDs.
I was going to make a joke about those little things that used to be keychains.
Hit clips or something?
Is that what they were called?
I was like, I'm never going to remember the name of it.
I keep my hit clips on my belt loop, actually.
LMFAO hit clips.
Wow. my hit clips on my belt loop actually um wow so anyway i'm very proud of it because uh i i forced
that phrase so aggressively into our show and um i helped design it too so i'm proud of that i was
gonna bring that up because uh yeah if you don't if you don't support that merch you don't support
her directly you don't support me paying for photoshop which i finally found a
reason for why i pay for photoshop um pretty happy about it and if uh you are one of those people who
you have maybe a computer that contains all your pornography or something and want to make sure
people know that uh there's also going to be a decal, a sticker. Oh, there is? Are you serious? Yeah.
I didn't know that.
Well, I hope I'm not wrong here.
I forgot.
But yes, there's a pouch that says,
contains sexy stuff,
and then that same design will also be sold in sticker form.
So yeah.
Put it on your belt loop next to your LMFAO head clips
so everyone knows what's on there.
Yep.
There you go.
Amazing.
You can put it anywhere.
So check that out while supplies last.
It even says warning in big letters letters so don't worry about it um by the way it's at bit.ly slash beach to sandy merch
yes oh and it's a pre-sale because yes that's important some issues we didn't announce it last
time and people were worried that their item got lost in the mail or something or that we swindled
them which um i wouldn't put it past us but we didn't oh i would put excuse me whoa whoa whoa
just kidding um no but it's a pre-sale so it'll i don't know sometimes it takes a little yeah we
don't know it might say on there when it ships yeah um the website will tell you most likely
if not uh reach out to them because we're not in charge of distribution or anything
uh yeah so don't get swindled by anybody uh yeah hope you enjoy it thank you all
for your support uh we're really excited about this one because so many people have been asking
for it i might even make them send me one and i usually pay for our merch but this one i feel
like i deserve my own well we did that for a while and then we were talking to our merch guy um
lucas and good old lucas was like you know you can just ask for this stuff right we said okay
that's not our personalities but we'll try it and then we did and guess what we got our stuff we did
that's true i forgot that they did mail us some stuff um so i'll ask for my own pouch my own sexy
pouch that you also designed so yes i'd like to i'd like i hope that you would get one um anyway uh speaking of sexy
stuff applies last until commonsense media sues us oh yeah taking their their verbiage it would
be a little weird if they have a like a specific copyright on that phrase um we should copyright
it and then sue commonsense media be like stop putting that on your website anyway uh yeah so speaking of sexy stuff um i want to talk about me oh um one more thing
last episode i said we're talking about something fall a tree being felled or something and i yelled
lumber yeah people not many but a few people they weren't upset but they were confused and or amused by that
but without being sure why i said it that seems like a them problem it is it is um but i still
want to educate the masses i think we mentioned this is in another episode that is an inside joke
within our family i didn't say anything i assume we've talked about it so many times.
Yeah.
I think someone was like,
yeah,
and she didn't even say anything.
I'm like,
well,
yeah,
cause we'd say that all the time,
not on the show,
but just in,
in life.
Uh,
when one time the three of us,
as in,
um,
Christina,
our mother and myself were walking and I fell flat on my face.
Where did you fall flat on?
I think it was me.
It was me.
Yeah.
Um, and my mom thinking she's very funny and but still not understanding all of American English lingo yelled out lumber instead of timber.
Thinking that's what people yell.
And then, of course, that meant that you started laughing while i was flat on my face on the
ground face down in a parking garage and he was crying i mean he was in pain and my mom just
screamed lumber um and so it's become kind of a thing when somebody like falls or something
something falls we all lumber instead of timber and then uh so someone posted in the beach shoot
sandy patreon only group on facebook which which is popping, by the way.
And I'm so happy about it.
It's just so much fun in there.
That's the only Facebook group I'm still a part of.
So Aretha said that it said, they said, when you yelled lumber instead of timber on today's
episode made me giggle.
So I said, not sure if we mentioned it in a prior episode, but that's what our mom yelled
once I fell flat on my face in a parking garage.
And then mom responded.
No.
Y'all, mom, our mom is once i fell flat on my face in a parking garage and then mom responded no y'all mom our mom is in this group so pay us and you can hang out with our mom in a facebook group um
i don't think so she get in there i probably i you are too friendly i am too friendly um
then she responded and said that was in las vegas you dropped like a tree i am still laughing it's true she's never stopped and then steph nicely responded with we are too
lumber alissa actually texted me two weeks ago and said i still sometimes
and it she hadn't heard the episode so i guess it's just making the rounds that makes me so happy
that's i didn't realize you even said that i didn't even realize anybody noticed um yeah no i know i didn't
really remember it either and then people commented on it i said i thought have we not talked about
that anyway there's a backstory uh there you go uh time for cracker barrels speaking of sexy stuff
we're gonna talk about cracker barrel now Yeah, I'll go first, I guess.
Here's my first one.
One star review by Balthazar.
Rude.
Our caterer was Abigail.
Had a terrible disposition.
Dropped the spoon on my foot without apology or excuse.
Food was decent.
Service deplorable.
Keep driving manager was nice, nasty, and unhelpful as well. That was all like one. manager was nice nasty and unhelpful as well
that was all like one nice nasty they're trying to say keep driving
period or comma manager was nice nasty i think they meant um what did they mean what do you
what could they possibly mean by that nice nice nasty and unhelpful um
i possibly mean by that nice nice nasty and unhelpful um maybe not not not wait i don't know actually it doesn't mean anything it's so weird when i first read it i thought i had you
were gonna explain it i had an explanation of how they could have said this they also spelled
cater q-a-i-t-r i'm sorry that says quater no there's no u though q it's like q a i t r oh my god like
yeah like cutter cut none of that how did you even figure out that said caterer
it's cute it's it's they meant waiter oh that's why i said caterer i thought it was caterer no no no i don't think they had
have caterers at cracker barrel um but i love how they use the word disposition
and yet they can't spell they spell waiter with a q and without an e um
yeah and the complaint is to drop the spoon on their foot lumber
it's a spoon i don't know should have i don't i feel like maybe they were
reacted like dad did dad does when something falls where he's like oh he screams and now
does that to me sometimes just to like get like really frazzle my nerves and like put me on edge
and it really works um so i don't know yeah i imagine it was like a fucking yeah a cracker
barrel spoon like how much damage could that possibly do i'm picturing them wearing those like i don't know either
sketch your shape ups or something like like big clunky shoe that's very padded padded and i'm
still freaking out about it safety shoe some sort of safety shoe and get a spoon dropped on i don't
know even if you weren't wearing shoes, come on.
Well, actually, maybe they weren't.
They sit on their foot.
So, yeah.
Ew, don't take your shoes off at the table.
That's a you problem once again.
No, I mean like flip flops.
I don't think someone's sitting there untying their shoes.
Ew.
I hope they didn't pick that up and use it.
But what else do I mean?
What else would be happening?
I guess. I mean, that else would be happening, I guess?
I mean, that... See, the thing is, this seems like a person who would complain if that is what happened.
So, yeah, I assume that didn't happen.
Yeah, we would have heard about it.
If the main complaint is a spoon fell on my foot.
And then I had to eat my corn pudding with it.
Yeah.
Wow.
Is that it? For that one, yeah. Oh, and that was in sharonville ohio by oh okay i felt like there was more because i think it just kept
going like a train wreck well because they just put it all the rest in one sentence they said
that was like the big thing and then they just put the rest in one sentence they said food was
decent service deplorable keep driving manager was nice nasty and unhelpful as well was all one sentence okay god keep driving um i feel like that part they had already gotten in
the car and were doing voice to text and just yelled the rest of it maybe but yeah i but i
cater cater is good i really thought you meant caterer and i was like that's an odd thing
um okay here i have an email from kristin aka crickson
of the hog pen i don't know if that's how you say it kristin i say kristin kristin uh pronouns she
her who designed our karma back to you pin by the way speaking of merch are you serious
literally wrote a p i'm sure that was mentioned that she mentioned that on my stream but it
i because i see i saw k saw Kristen last week when I streamed
and that, that connection was not in my head.
Yeah.
I, I was glad she put it in the PS cause I don't think I would have made that connection
either.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
Cause I've talked to her on Facebook before message and not email.
So this is a one-star view of a Cracker Barrel in Dayton.
So we're doing Ohio first here.
This is a one-star view by Petra.
Dayton, so we're doing Ohio first here. This is a one-star review by Petra.
If you're looking for a quality restaurant with a calm atmosphere that doesn't waste your time,
do not head on over to Cracker Barrel. My mother and I made the mistake of going down that path,
and as soon as we got in, we realized just how busy it was, as today is Easter. We shrugged this off as we didn't think we would have to wait that long as any responsible restaurant would not be understaffed.
Yet we were mistaken yet again to assume Cracker Barrel was responsible.
Yeah, I mean, that's again, like I know that you're taking full responsibility for it.
Then actually do it.
Yeah, but they don't seem to actually.
Cracker Barrel was responsible to not understaff on Easter.
I don't know.
Seems like a big ask for a Cracker Barrel, but whatever.
The hostess escorted us to our table with a happy Easter.
Now for many people...
Oh, no.
Do you have a guess as to why this was not appropriate?
Are they not Christian?
Ding, ding, ding.
Catholic?
I don't do all Christians celebrate.
It doesn't matter.
You'll find out.
Oh, dear God.
Now, for many people,
this would be answered with a thank you, you too,
but my family is Jewish.
I'm a patient person.
That's a good start.
And throughout the whole day
of having to say way too many times,
thank you, but I'm Jewish,
it would be nice if someone greeted us with,
if you celebrate it, happy Easter.
Now, I want to be clear.
Yes, I agree i i'm on the
trend of happy holidays i i'm with you but it's dayton ohio and it's cracker barrel and it's
cracker barrel and it's easter i don't know i feel like again expectations were set very high
for this experience and i feel like she was doomed absolutely no absolutely um at moment they that
she took the wrong path the wrong path made me think of you know it's like robert frost i think
there are two paths that diverge and one leads to a cracker barrel yeah went down the wrong one for
sure where does the other one go? Synagogue?
I'm trying to think of like another more appropriate place on Easter that she would have enjoyed her time.
Probably literally anywhere else.
Yeah, probably anywhere.
That isn't Cracker Barrel.
Anywhere besides the Golden Corral or Cracker Barrel.
Because I imagine if you go to a Denny's, the Denny's people aren't going to say Happy
Easter because they don't care.
Yeah, because it's not like there's no like caterers
and it's not like super fancy like a cracker barrel yeah but with cracker barrel it feels
i don't know it feels like again this was bound to be a disappointing event so we got that but
to the real problem at hand we waited 40 minutes for our food i I timed it myself, as I always do, in case I need proof of the restaurant's negligence.
Okay, this person has officially lost me in any argument.
Cross the line.
They literally timed every single...
That must be...
Tick tock.
Could you imagine going to every restaurant you go to and on your mind is,
I am going to catch these people out
i need to prove their negligence before it's even my god also negligence is probably not the right
word here just saying but um also that means that they say like they either screenshot because
she says i need proof i need to keep proof of their their negligence so
like she's either screenshotting it or writing it in a notes app like just showing the the the
the server and say hey look and look look at this timer look it's been 40 minutes to do
yeah exactly i don't know did you say 40 minutes this isn't logical did you say 40 minutes yeah i said 40 minutes oh good we waited 40 minutes for oh you already had told me that you think i just know
i'm so dumb okay you're like oh the big reveal here it comes no well because then she has a
big reveal which is 40 minutes and 37 seconds we waited until our food came wait no 40 minutes we
waited until we had to ask for the manager to go harass the kitchen staff to get our food came. Wait, no. 40 minutes we waited until we had to ask for the manager
to go harass the kitchen staff
to get our food.
This is outrageous.
40 minutes for a sandwich
and standard dinner platter?
Unheard of.
Our meal was on the house,
but this was the absolute least
that the manager could have done
and no way compensated for our wait.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
In no way were they compensated other than a free
meal well she's saying the free meal in no way compensated for our weight which but it literally
does that's literally the point the word means yeah that's literally compensation for your weight
that is literally literally what it means it reminds me of that time when we talked about
so bad mints and uh that person was like i need restitution for my, with a capital R for my mint order.
This person talking about compensation and talking about negligence.
I mean, my goodness.
This isn't.
I'm just wondering.
Next thing you're going to say like malpractice.
Malpractice.
I mean, and that's the thing is like, I'm fully on board.
Like, yeah, I would be annoyed too if everyone was saying happy Easter.
I get that.
I'm on board with that. But then it just goes off the rails and I'm like, wait, Like, yeah, I would be annoyed, too, if everyone was saying Happy Easter. I get that. I'm on board with that.
But then it just goes off the rails.
And I'm like, wait, you lost me very quickly when you said this is the real problem.
And then it suddenly went out the window.
None of this seems like a real problem.
Like they went into Cracker Barrel looking for problems.
And that's a pretty easy place to find problems, especially when you're looking for them.
pretty easy place to find problems especially when you're looking for them it's like you went into a golden corral to find rats in in the fondue right exactly you know it's pretty easy to find
it's gonna be there um so our meal was on the house but this was the absolute least that the
manager could have done and no way compensated for our wait. After the manager left, our waitress
tried to make excuses, saying things like, oh, it's a holiday and it's been busy all day. I'm
sorry. Is it my fault today is a holiday? Does it look like I care if today the restaurant might
have to tend to a couple more people? No. With that, our waitress left off to another table that
had not been asked for their drink orders for 15 minutes. my god she's timing other people's orders hold on
how many timers does this person have on their phone okay sorry uh not been asked for the drink
15 minutes these are the saddening conditions that cracker barrel has become and it is my
hopes that you will never have to experience these acerbating circumstances like my mother and i did today end of review um so this person is
aware of what cracker barrel is before this day like it chose to go on easter sunday i think going
on a sunday any other sunday would also be be a pretty busy time similar and also but so that
would have more people but also not just
a couple more people a couple makes it seem maybe yeah maybe two more people maybe a party
maybe even four people maximum but i assume on easter sunday cracker barrel is hopping i think
we've actually read reviews i think that was actually thanksgiving i assume it's probably a similar vibe of like family outings you don't want to celebrate at home yeah um and yeah they go easy you know
it's easier to go somewhere where they promise you some sort of easter meal for a fixed price
etc um wow 40 minutes and 37 seconds yeah you that was i did not like that yeah there was a lot happening there
sorry wow no it's i guess what we're here for sorry petra
well my next one is of that same sharonville uh cracker barrel i'm gonna use first names here
that i see because it's somewhat relevant this review is by Laney
one star
we went to Cracker Barrel at 2 o'clock
p.m. there was a
45 minutes wait
we waited for 20
minutes on the porch
in the 20 minutes
we watched 8 couples
leaves
we also left and went across to bob evan where the other couples
went all i can say cracker barrel management you need to get things fixed bob evans was great i
thought you went to bob evan come on i'm confused well no actually it turns out they went to bob evans with two n's um okay
they're all over the place all right much like their punctuation and well i figured that the
way they hit the enter enter quickly this is the cracker barrel in sharonville ohio martin and
norma end of reveal do you know that that means that on their iphone or whatever phone they have that it
automatically capitalizes the word shared will which i'm like how does that happen but yeah i
don't want to know i don't either so where they they were enter enter enter a lot of enters a lot
of periods so it was there was a 45 mins period and then wait period they they just add random periods and then there'd be just random
like we watched eight couples and then an enter and then capital l leaves leaves i really thought
it took me about three of those pauses for me to realize oh he's doing that intent i was like
oh you thought i was just really struggling having a trouble trouble reading yeah i really thought you were struggling i was like in some ways i was
wasn't that bad where those pauses were just me not being able to read the word
leaves i love the uh i love the migration of couples to bob evan across the street
that's where all the other couples went terrifying they also what i kind of
loved about it is the wide variety they don't use commas but oh they did use commas for sharonville
comma oh but they'll do a space space period spirit period space oh fun instead of just a
period where a period would go and then they'll say like all i can say space hyphen space and then when they said we watched eight couples enter leaves right after
leaves was a hyphen sure for no reason yeah yeah yeah they hyphen is not close to period like
anywhere on your phone on your keyboard i don't know how this person thinks punctuation works but
oh my god anyway that's good stuff also like the porch of a cracker barrel has rocking chairs
okay yeah right like it's not that bad it's not like they sent you out into an alley like you
have an enjoyable time there yeah there's licorice inside like there is yeah the country store i mean
that's that alone just for the country store 20 minutes that's not enough time
buy yourself a peg game do you know what peg on the front porch so okay i was thinking like what
about people who don't know what cracker barrel is or have never yeah should we have said something
about i don't know because it's it's kind of hard for me to believe that but like also the thing is
we have talked about it a lot on this show um but i'm
happy to try to explain it can you yeah so cracker barrel uh full name cracker barrel old country
store oh my god is a restaurant slash store uh that's meant for that's known for their uh home
style southern comfort food it's like a chain yeah yeah it's a it's a really big chain
um it's actually from tennessee originally okay and they have a porch where they have these
rocking chairs that they sell i believe right i think and then inside there's a whole store
that sells knickknacks and like fun stuff weird little games and candies elvis like memorabilia just like
random shit some of their food products um yeah they're also known for this game it's a triangle
with holes in it and they have golf tees it's the peg game the peg game you're supposed to skip
you're supposed to end up with one peg left we had it at our dad's house growing up we played it a lot um it sounds like we played
hoop and stick i'm like we played a peg game um and like knock off cd-roms from china that
were bootlegs yeah that was that was our childhood right yeah it's fun um one time at a cracker
barrel mom bought me it was the best gift ever she bought me this stuffed dog where you could cut its hair like give it a haircut
and then it would grow back oh how was there i assume okay i assume there's a limit limited
amount of hair that would eventually grow back thing is i didn't really get that okay here's
the thing it didn't just the first day you just kept cutting like wow unlimited hair and then it
just ran out i didn't it doesn't grow back but that's kind of
how they present it basically it has another coat that you can put on it had a purple and a pink
coat oh okay so you cut the pink one like give it a haircut and then you could even a like a coat
like a jacket i see well and then you take this purple one and velcro it on and then you can give
it another haircut okay i don't know it was really cool when i was little um no
no you thought it was it was cool to be i remember sitting in the living room and just
not wanting to cut it because i was like well i'm not stupid well but i realized pretty quickly like
this doesn't actually grow back so i don't think i ever even played with it i think i just had too
much anxiety and just stared at it got it that makes sense sounds about sounds about right it's cool in theory though um okay so i that's if you don't know what a even played with it. I think I just had too much anxiety and just stared at it. Got it. That makes sense. Sounds about right.
It's cool in theory, though.
Okay.
So that's if you don't know what a Cracker Barrel is.
Now you have somewhat.
Now you have less of an idea.
Yeah.
That did not help at all.
Didn't help.
This is an email from Megan, whose pronouns are she-fur.
I want to see if you caught that.
She-fur.
Oh, yeah.
No, I heard.
She slash fur.
She slash fur.
she for oh yeah no i heard she slash for um one star review of a cracker barrel in morrisville north carolina by john this place doesn't have it together i had dirty plates
with hard cheese when i didn't order anything with cheese i expressed my frustration and they
took me to the what the brig i'm what's the cracker barrel equivalent of the bridge
i express it's worse actually i expressed my frustration and they took me to the back to
show me how they clean dishes parentheses not a fan i advise eating with paperware if you're
going to take that chance and End of review. Okay.
They did what?
They took me back to show me. When was this review written?
Well, first of all, 2015.
Okay, that's a little better.
I'm like, wow, did they really just bring-
Back in my day, we could go back into the kitchen and watch them clean the dishes, kids.
Oh, no.
It's like how people talk about pre-9-11 airports.
Oh, you're right.
It's going to be the case for that.
You don't even remember a time before we all had to- We used walk be able to walk each other to the gate and then go home now you can't even
go through with a with a freaking bottle of bubbles stop it we just read airport reviews
you couldn't come up with anything better than that no thank you though also like he complained
because his hard cheese plate came out whatever that
means plate with hard cheese when he didn't order cheese which is altogether gross um
and they're like come with us sir which by the way don't come with them like
if someone says come with me come with me and you'll see how we clean the dishes here at cracker barrel not a fan not a fan also like
wow he really was prepared to to deliver on whether or not he was a fan of how they clean
the dishes which clearly they didn't prove it i don't even know what to think about this
except um next time he's bringing paperware to the Cracker Barrel.
I was going to comment on that.
So the suggestion is bring your own paper plates to Cracker Barrel.
What are you going to do?
Take their plate and slide it off onto yours or give them the plate ahead of time and say, please put my food on this paper plate. And then you'll be like, no, no, no.
I know Marvin in the back.
We've talked about this.
Just ask him.
He knows who I am.
I've seen marvin clean plates
i'm john with the hard cheese plate john with the hard cheese oh no
so my next review is of a cracker barrel in california maryland which i stumbled upon
because i tried to do cracker barrels in california and it came up with actually no we can't do that for you uh anyway uh this is
actually could have summed everything up uh what a cracker barrel is for those who don't understand
it perfect uh this is a review by boris one star something in drink and pancakes tasted fried
end of review no that was a one star yeah come on what
do you think the whole thing is the whole building is just come with me i'll show you the back how we
fry things everything including your drink including your i honestly i think this person
might need to see a doctor if they're drinking something and it tastes fried and they're eating
things and it all tastes fried and you're not getting something fried.
First of all, I don't think they sell anything that's not fried.
Yeah.
That's problem number one.
Kind of impressive.
They must also know Marvin in the back and said, Marvin, give me a non-fried thing, please.
I brought my own plate.
Give me something.
Give me a Coca-Cola, not fried.
Yeah, that's actually pretty spot on.
We should have just read that as the description of the Cracker Barrel.
Wowza.
Oh, I forgot to also mention Megan sent this note.
It says, also, for some reason, I've been thinking about Nurse Kelly and her partner,
James, lately.
What happened to the jars of themes and challenges they gave you?
Did you finish them all?
Did they get
hidden away during christine's move and haven't been unpacked yet i'm literally looking around
have they just not been unpacked i think i think i had them do you because i don't have them i was
gonna say they're either at the end that's why you're doing apartment in la are they i have them
because we kept them in my apartment before you yeah when you move put them in my apartment okay
oh that's right and then and then
she added have you evolved past the need for them no absolutely not and uh then put the face which
is eight and a squiggle and a slash a dash slash excuse me an eight a squiggle that one yeah yeah
where it was it was a eight and a tilde and a tilde and a slanted face
and also by the way a lot of people speaking of tildes gave me a lot of shit for pronouncing
pena or pena wrong but it didn't it didn't have a tilde on it okay i'm sorry i read it the way
that the reviewer wrote it yeah and also look okay here's they got a lot of shit for that i don't
know why because yeah if you see that you know it's pronounced Pena. You're not, you know how to pronounce things.
I mean, I am.
But also, guess what?
We're from the Midwest where we call Versailles, we say Versailles.
Like, literally, I mean, that's a good point.
It's hard to, because then I get in trouble if I say, like, Des Plaines.
I say, like, Des Plaines, like Des Moines.
And then people are like, how could you say it so wrong?
And it's the same with, like, Boise and Boise.
People are like, I mean, it's like. Or like Lima and and lima ohio yeah just saying and then and then you never know i think it was you
said both so you covered your bases and people still gave you shit yeah i got in trouble for
that sorry i'm not sorry focus on the horse penis why are you focusing on the veins don't think
about the veins everybody megan also said i there was no vein above that n
okay megan also said i need answers i can't get nurse kelly's suggestion jars out of my head so
okay classic megan classic dragging stuff up that we didn't want to address but now we have to we
should see if we can region block this episode so that megan can't hear this one region
block it to megan specifically for megan's location um and yeah so then megan will be a
walking region block for beach to sandy so we'll always be able to um track her location um megan
if you're hearing this it didn't work and that way that way uh nurse kelly and james can always be on her mind oh perfect we'll
never get it out of her head we have i have the best intentions with that plan uh so i have this
email from ashley she her who wants us to know she loves cracker barrel and says something about
the biscuits sawmill gravy and tiny bottles of syrup so i think overall we're getting a picture
building a picture of cracker barrel or just google it and you'll see the giant weird
barrel looking store brown wood thing it looks like something from the frontierville of walt
disneyland or whatever that place is called it um it's like a wild west type vibe yeah yeah saloon
kind of yeah yeah country um and it's somewhere people go on like road trips a lot of times.
It's kind of like off highways.
You see big signs.
Okay.
So now I have a review of the Cracker Barrel in Chester, Virginia by Haley.
It's a one star review.
Came to the same Cracker Barrel last week specifically for breakfast and catfish.
Ew.
So grossed out.
It's like how at IHOP they sell tilapia on the 65 plus the senior.
Oh my God.
Yikes.
At like 3.30 PM.
Came to the same Cracker Barrel last week specifically for breakfast and catfish.
They didn't have any at 11 AM. Excuse was the truck didn't show up. Okay, if I went to Cracker Barrel. Where is this
located? Chester, Virginia. If I went to Cracker Barrel and said I want catfish and they said the
truck didn't show up, I would be like so, I feel like my reality would come crashing down and I'd
be like, oh, a truck full of catfish that's now late.
I don't want to eat that catfish.
Yeah.
And then you'd think, huh, I'm glad I didn't get here a couple hours later.
Wow.
When this late truck.
For the tilapia dinner.
Would have shown up.
And then Haley says, today set and waited for a table around noon for the breakfast and catfish.
No excuse. They just don the breakfast and catfish. No excuse.
They just don't have any catfish.
Can't understand why they will not take catfish off the menu.
Hash brown casserole isn't what it used to be.
It was dry without any cheese.
Signed, G Ma Pam.
G Ma Pan?
Pam.
Oh, Pam.
Okay.
I was like, wow.
I will say one thing.
What's that? I do agree with Gma Pam when she says that,
in the sense that I also don't understand
why Cracker Barrel doesn't take catfish off the menu.
That's a good point.
I think that should be done.
So yes, I agree.
Also, I love that Gma Pam took Haley's account,
her granddaughter's, I assume.
Oh yeah, that's right.
I forgot it was a completely different thing. And also we have a grandma pam just to be clear it's i just think grandma
pam has such a nice ring to it i didn't change it um but are we sure it wasn't pam gma it could
have been gma pam just wants some catfish man oh my god get it for her and then of course there's a response from owner that's like please send us your email your username and the owner responses were all the same
and generic and just email us and these people all got their little free meals i bet the little
shits little shitheads yeah all of them some of them deserved it uh but we don't read those and then they were like here's your free catfish dinner it's only three weeks late enjoy it deliver to your house next
time um my next review is of the cracker barrel in camarillo california this one's the review by
dragon's den okay which is like the UK version of Shark Tank.
Oh, really?
Or maybe Shark Tank
is the US version
of Dragon's Den.
Oh, I didn't know that.
I don't know.
I'm pretty sure.
So I don't know why
that's their username here,
but one star review.
Mark Cuban posted this?
Who's the British version
of Mark Cuban?
Richard Branson?
I don't know.
I guess so, actually.
Okay.
Both of them would probably be insulted by that
statement.
And if you get insulted on their behalf, then
why are you listening
to this podcast? Okay. Here's a
one-star review by Dragon's Den,
Camarillo, California.
Understaffed. Given Bill
before we were finished and told that she
had a big group of people
in and she needed to help them the staff need to relax and do their job without complaining
they are in customer service and if this is the job they choose then do the job without complaining
end of review have people not moved past this argument yet seriously no people just aren't nice
they're in customer service first of all they're
like not really i mean i mean it's uh that's um yeah i have a big group of people that i need to
take care of excuse me yeah it's like i don't i don't know it's just so how can you not have any
empathy for this person to say oh wow yeah you do okay like that must be a lot that church group does not deserve catfish i'm over here it's not even easter sunday it's not even 11 a.m yet okay stop
ordering catfish everybody so gross oh no
dragon's den wow um i bet they have a lot to say by the way when they watch that show
oh god don't let me see that i can't watch that show it really
stresses me out shark tank i mean it's on all the time and i feel like i can't watch it because
i get frazzled like i don't know i watched it recently and um while we were like uh with
francisca in a hotel room which is i feel like the only place i watch shark tank is in a hotel
room where i watched it last week and uh yeah it feels like an ad for all these products now it doesn't be it doesn't feel very
i don't know just feels like some big weird ad for these products it's always fun to see what
the product is and then i'm like okay can we go to the next part i don't know i like the product
part more the late the lately though the ones haven't been... They've been decent products.
I want to see, like in American Idol,
how they'd have the terrible singers.
Don't talk about William Chung like that.
Is that his name?
William Hung.
You don't even know William Hung's name.
William Hung made a career out of that.
I know.
Good for him.
And he's on Cameo now.
Oh, yeah, I did see that.
Quick shout out to William Hung hung's cameo by access i
don't know anyway um but yeah i feel like this episode is sponsored by william hung's cameo
account and we're talking about the how shark tank has changed in my mind which is not interesting
to anybody it's not especially me um go watch dragon's den with richard branson
um this is an email from wyatt uh he's he him pronouns thank you it's a one-star review by
gemma and this is of a cracker barrel no location i don't think in the void or something
i just didn't i don't have it one star you guys may want to lawyer up not a threat just a friendly
suggestion what dot dot dot by the way dot dot i will say i have a feeling that cracker barrel
has a pretty good legal team yeah they are a very massive chain and they do not franchise their
locations so they are all oh they don't no they don't so they're all company can you imagine if
you franchise them and then every owner got to pick like what was in the store there's just too
much chaos true that's a lot of control to to have to manage but i did see a lot of complaints of the
when i read the camarillo
ones in california a lot of people say oh they're just trying to be all southern and it doesn't work
because they don't know what they're doing with the food and everything like this is this is it's
like a they have the same structure at every single location yeah i i don't think it really
matters where it is that much which i think is the charm of it for people. It's like you can just walk in and be like, oh, I'm at a Cracker Barrel.
So why are people complaining that California, it's not Southern?
I don't know.
One time I went to a McDonald's in a random town and I always kind of picture McDonald's all looking sort of the same.
This one had pictures of the owner or manager or whoever golfing all over the walls just different and like
medals and like the decor was all him golfing that's so weird and i was like nobody's keeping
an eye on this this particular location are they remember that time we went to that mcdonald's in
i think it was a mcdonald's in nashville and there was live music? No, but that sounds like Nashville.
We went into a McDonald's or another fast food restaurant on the way to, I think, was that CrimeCon?
It must have been.
It must have been CrimeCon.
And we stopped and there was someone setting up to perform.
Oh, yes.
I do actually remember that.
With their acoustic guitar.
Were we with them?
Probably.
Wow.
Wow.
What a wild time. so cracker barrel can't
take that risk no they can't um no that's yeah i couldn't imagine live music at a cracker barrel
their lawyers are busy enough dealing with people like jemma who are apparently gonna sue scary well
it's not a threat though it's not a threat though it's just a friendly suggestion dot dot dot i mean jesus uh jemma also it looks like has six reviews so i wish i had checked that
this is the same one copy and pasted everywhere else you may want to lawyer up she's deciding
who to sue um okay so there's oh no you have more it's my turn turn now. Sorry, my bad. I have one. This was sent in by Lindsay. Thank you, Lindsay.
I don't know the location, but this is a review by Pamela.
One star.
My server touched her nose at my table.
I then didn't want my drink because it had lemon, and I did not know if they use thongs
or not.
End of review.
Thongs. Yeah, they if they use thongs or not. End of review. Thongs.
Yeah, they meant thongs.
Thongs.
I quickly became a Hooters review.
Could you imagine if they said to the server, hey, do you use thongs?
Yeah, because that's the scenario here is they either wrote the word thong without even
blinking or their phone auto-corrected a thong, which means like, what do you got on the brain here?
Do you have thongs?
Oh my God.
Not good.
I really hope that conversation happens somewhere.
Just in the world.
I assume it does.
That sounds like something that...
Well, it also means flip-flops.
Oh, come on.
Do people actually use that?
Like in the US at least?
One time somebody dropped a spoon on my thong and I screamed.
You dropped a spoon on my thong and didn't even apologize.
That was at a cracker bar.
And the manager came over and was like, please don't sue us.
And I said, wink, just a friendly suggestion.
And he said, my name is Gemma.
And I said, where's my catfish?
I don't like the catfish. Oh that's good stuff i wonder if they have
thongs here i don't want to eat this lemon in case you have thongs or you don't have a thong
in case you use a thong or don't use a thong don't use a thong okay uh i have another one
here from wyatt uh this is by now i'm gonna keep the name of the reviewer because it's Wise Stan,
Stan Wise. And Wyatt wrote- Well, that's not a name, so it's okay.
Exactly. Wyatt wrote, I think he is a little too wise for me because despite the rich detail of
this review, I still have no clue what he's saying. I would like to brag that I figured it
out and it took me a minute and I did and I- You hear that, Wyatt?
I laughed. And I did. You hear that, Wyatt? I laughed.
She gets it.
At least I got one line that was very confusing.
And then I immediately figured out what it was trying to say.
Okay, here's a two-star review.
Not good, not terrible, just below average at above average price.
Food was barely warm, not hot.
Biscuits subpar, gravy barely warm and gelatinous.
When ordering, asked waitress for extra butter, instead got no butter, asked waitress again for butter when she brought food, only to never see a waitress again until she brought the check.
Bottom was coffee and tea, only no one ever comes back to the table again.
Biggest ripoff of all, $3.19 for a half pint container of milk that fills the large glass
they give you almost halfway my advice bring
your kids to a smaller more service-oriented place another thing i didn't understand you're
told of the special old-timers breakfast by waitress and matradi i asked what the special
was waitress said nothing we're told to just talk about it pancakes were tough and almost
uneatable end of review were they saying maitre d at a
cracker barrel that's why when you said caterer i was like oh my god wow spelled m-a-t-r-a-d-i
and i was like what's a matrati for like a solid 30 seconds i went matrati by matrati and then i
went oh my god they're saying maitre d there's no reason to use that
word here though could you imagine maitre d could you imagine them using that's another thing that's
probably worse than using thong in a cracker barrel even the word maitre d you're kicked out
that's actually one of the words on the blacklist yeah there has to be a gray area like a small
sliver in in the in the pie chart of people who use the word maitre d at a
place like cry her well but like have zero concept of how to spell it or what yeah and are like
they'll get it matrati there's just must be a strange like thin tiny wow someone who's ordering
a pint of milk at a cracker barrel and then using the the word. That was weird too. That was all capital. Their pint of milk didn't fill up my glass.
What?
What the fuck?
The biggest rip off of all.
Oh my God.
Anyway, so that's that.
So I don't know if that was what Wyatt was confused about, Matradi or not.
Well, I'm on Wyatt's side here.
There's a lot.
I think the whole thing is confusing regardless of.
That's a big question mark.
How Matradi was spelled.
Well, the Matradi was talking about old timers breakfast.
And I'm like
are you sure that's what happened because i can't fathom any of this actually occurring oh my god especially when the waitress is like i don't know about that yeah we don't have that which means
like maybe you talk to somebody who is not affiliated with someone with a french accent
must be a matrati oh anyway um speaking of being confused about reviews um
here's one from natalie she her who sent in a review of a cracker barrel uh this is in let me
zoom out here oh this is close to cincinnati how did i not realize this This is in like Harrison, Ohio. Okay. Close to the Indiana border.
Okay.
This is a review by Steve.
Five stars.
It's a redemption, I guess.
Food is consistent.
Far enough south, I did see the devil playing checkers on a barrel top for some guy's soul.
End of review.
Five stars.
Five stars. That is what i wanted now you know some places like in camarillo or camarillo whatever you called it don't get the southern thing right but this location in harrison
ohio they know about the south and where do you live where you think that ohio is south at all
well they just did a good replica of what the south really is they had a devil
a devil playing checkers on a barrel top yeah for some guy's soul and i made the mistake happens in
the south do you want to hear the mistake that i made yes well no it's well their sayings are very
devil oriented like in the south yes sun, instead of a sun shower,
it's that the devil is beating his wife.
They also have that at some cracker.
Jesus Christ.
Jesus Christ.
Sorry, I didn't make it up.
So yeah, and it's, but I Googled this
and I made the mistake of Googling it.
It came up with all these church ministries
and these weird church YouTube videos. This checkers thing? videos yeah i googled devil playing checkers okay and all these quotes saying
the devil is playing checkers while you're playing chess elks inner i can't with that
that's not anything yeah who made that up that's like it's not like it's in the bible that checkers
was in the fucking bible oh i don't know they were playing the pegboard game they're doing some porch begging um as one
does at a cracker barrel that's what it's called christina it's not though that's the sport it's
not with the devil no for your soul which like just take it just take my soul i don't want it porch pegging some guy for his soul um stop sorry
sorry thank you okay i don't know to get into that guy's soul
the devil did some porch pegging to get into that guy's soul um anyway um but yeah so when i have a baby we're
gonna have to stop this we're not though we're not gonna do it it's gonna be bad christina the
baby won't be able to understand what we say for a long time not until we're so entrenched and
can't it's too late truly if the baby's first words are porch pegging i would be very impressed
you got this is gonna say matt damon at age one and a half so it's possible yeah that was a weird thing yes it was you worked
really hard on it though so i gotta give you credit thank you and then like when she was older
i asked her if she knew who matt damon was she said i have no idea and i was like wow that's
that's gonna come out in therapy one day. I just have this trigger every time I see, what's he in?
Good Will Hunting?
Yes.
In lots of things.
Jason Bourne.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
This is a redemption as well.
And this is an email from George.
And it's actually a Between You and Us email from March 2020.
George is ahead of the times.
And this is a review of A Cracker Barrel in Nashville.
Maybe the one with the band.
I don't know.
But it's a...
No.
Oh, I was talking about a McDonald's we went to.
Oh, duh.
Okay, yeah, true.
But I'm sure everywhere in Nashville...
But I wouldn't be surprised if all places, Nashville, Cracker Barrel...
If there's one at a McDonald's...
...having live music.
...possible.
Yeah.
This is a five-star review.
This was written by Janine.
Five stars.
I love browsing through the little store while waiting for a table or sitting in the rocking chairs and playing checkers.
What the devil is that?
In the rocking chairs and playing checkers.
The food is always excellent.
Cracker Barrel is my friend's favorite restaurant.
She always had great taste in restaurants.
Died in her sleep.
The buttermilk pancakes are amazing.
A great place to eat breakfast or lunch with the family and oh
are you okay oh no i sit and i play checkers by myself because my friend died in her sleep
her friend lost to the devil oh that's right her soul she's still alive but her soul
she lost that a long time ago.
Oh my God, going from she died in her sleep to talking about buttermilk pancakes.
The buttermilk pancakes are amazing.
That's gotta be a first.
And this seems to be a real, like a real, I feel like I can usually look and be like,
oh, this is just like phony, whatever.
But like, this seems to be a real person's page.
I don't know.
If not, they're good at their craft.
Yeah, they are. Because they really just buried that in there. Yeah not they're well good at their craft yeah they are because they
really just buried that in there yeah they're very good at their craft i would have scanned
this and not even noticed so i'm glad george found it thank you thank you yeah exactly sometimes i
sometimes yeah i scan them and don't see anything interesting but i would probably miss that it's
just that one line died in her sleep and then the rest is like completely normal um
so wow yikes yikes what a what a grand finale thank you george for that okay
is it time for your challenge it is time for my challenge my challenge was to find positive
reviews mentioning a long meaningful
meaningful chat with a retail worker okay um this was pretty easy the one thing that i want didn't
want to do though is bring reviews to the table that said oh we had a talk about at a mechanics
for example saying oh we had a long talk about my car's problems right i wanted
it to be very just not off topic not necessarily about the service service um so yeah it's just
just nice five-star reviews there's really nothing that like how calming okay crazy so it'll be kind
of chill this one is of a place in singapore called lagna L-A-G-N-A-A.
This is by Sherry, five stars.
My initial visit was one I will cherish for a lifetime.
I am not certain what I enjoyed more,
the meaningful conversation with the chef
or the authentic and flavorful food.
I loved it so much.
I returned again the next night.
Oh, and the frozen...
The chef was like, oh God, no, not again.
Oh, and the frozen mango margarita pairs well with every dish, winky face.
End of review.
Oh, no, not the margarita lady is back to talk to me about life.
Well, which reminds me of that time
i don't know if we talked about that on the show when i went to when elsie and i went to that sushi
restaurant in uh indian wells and saw anna ivanovich and elsie and i were so anna ivanovich
is a tennis player she was playing that week um at the tournament
in Indian Wells and she sat next to us at the bar and Elsie kept offering her sake and she like
kept turning it down because and Elsie was like you were so beautiful you were so beautiful
and then like I was underneath like googling who she was because he wasn't underneath the table
physically like his phone was underneath just to clarify like i know it sounds yeah i was googling who she was and then found out and then she left and i was like oh elsie
that's who this was and then she ran outside stopped her car and was like are you on a bitch
and she's like yeah and then we liked our time so much we went the next day guess who also went
the next day on a vonavich so i got my photo with her um she was very nice and then oh and like um
elsie was like oh do like um Elsie was like
oh do you remember us she was like yeah the soggy lady soggy lady yeah so um I'm putting a moratorium
on that story this is the fourth time in probably eight days I've heard that story why does that
keep coming up I have no idea I don't either it's just a wonderful story it is I mean I can't believe
but the people are learning so much today. Lumber.
All your faux pas.
My faux pas.
I didn't do anything wrong there.
Hello.
You chased down Anna Ivanovich's car. I didn't chase anyone.
I was like, Elsie, stop.
I'm glad she did, though.
It's a beautiful photo of us.
Well, it's her fault for coming back, knowing the risk.
Okay.
She knew.
Anna Ivanovich knew.
She was so friendly and kind.
So was Elsie, too. She was friendly. She was a little eager. She was friendly, yeah. No one's doubting that. Yeah. Okay. Anyway knew. She was so friendly and kind. So was Elsie, too.
She was friendly.
She was a little eager.
Yeah, no one's doubting that.
Okay, anyway, anyway.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Here's a review.
This is by Emma of Firebird Burritos in London, England.
Stopped here for a quick bite on a whim.
Food was pretty good, but I'm mostly impressed with the service we had
a long talk with the employee katla who is so charming and endearing you don't meet people as
kind as her every day we'll definitely be back just for her end of review oh yeah but there is
a fine line i'm noticing as an employee where you like mary said like you do kind of have to find a
line of like oh give them a good
experience whatever and then like okay but don't show me videos on your phone of yes your dead wife
or whatever it may be i'm not gonna go out with you the reasoning from that email of giving this
challenge was because uh she had said that it's nice it would be nice to know that these
conversations actually do mean something for these people it's not just like time suck and you know especially if they don't buy anything yeah yeah so i mean i guess it means
repeat repeat business for your so your employer can get more money exactly um but hopefully you
get more tips you know depending on what you're doing but um and hopefully you get a little warm
heart about making someone's day feel a little brighter.
Exactly, exactly.
Here's one of Sugar Nail Bar in New Westminster, British Columbia, Canada.
This is by Rachel, four stars.
Little bit pricey, but well worth it for its standards of hygiene, professionalism, and skill.
I walked in one hour before close for an acrylic set with gel top and tom heartily welcomed me tom sat me down spoke of his vision for the salon and what he brings to
the competitive nail salon market in new west which for those who live here know there are tons
and quite subpar is this an episode of dragon's den that's what it sounds like it really does
his future for the business only speaks english in the salon
so clients feel comfortable and engaged a new hygiene kit for every client file and buffer
rather than the same tools used on 20 other people before you gross we exhausted ourselves
with meaningful conversation rather than gossip and then i realized it was an hour past close oh shit but i still left
feeling refreshed and giddy over my comfortable and flawless nails tom was so accommodating and
his passion kind of contagious you get what you pay for and i'm willing to pay a little more for
superior quality work end of review wow tom is killing killing the nail game i hope that at
least in 2015 oh yeah well i hope you got a good tip out of that
though um me too it might this place i think is closed though oh shit yeah it's permanently closed
anyway sorry for that bummer okay hope you're doing well tom uh people guess what uh people
did email in oh good which was a pleasant surprise. Probably because I shamed them. I shamed everyone.
Okay.
This next, this one is from Rachel, who uses she, her pronouns.
It says she, her slash embarrassed to somehow be a Google local guy.
Yes.
Local guy.
That's a new pronoun.
Okay.
So here we go. Here's a review of Gyukaku Japanese Barbecue in Cerritos, California.
This is by
Ashley. Five stars.
I think that's a chain. Oh, really? I'm pretty sure there's one
in LA. Sure. Yeah.
Where we used to live.
Here's a five star review of this Japanese barbecue
place.
Stephanie, thank you for taking
the time to talk to me as I was alone
and for the restaurant being busy.
You still took time to chat.
Thank you.
And also for the recommendation for the sauce.
You made eating alone a better experience.
Thank you.
End of review.
Wow.
Yeah, like three thank yous in there.
No, four.
No, yeah.
Three thank yous.
Also, I love in the middle, it says, thanks for recommending that sauce too.
Also the sauce.
We can't forget about the sauce. That sauce the sauce fantastic you made eating alone so much nicer wow that's so sweet
that is very sweet that is so sweet okay a different rachel also sent in um reviews uh
rachel she her this is a review of Serieslussen comic strip.
S-E-R-I-E-S-L-U-S-S-E-N.
This is in Stockholm, Sweden.
Serieslussen comic strip.
It's like a comic book store.
Oh, okay.
This is a five-star review by Fran.
Toys, comics, games, and the Swedish equivalent of the comic book store guy from The Simpsons.
Okay, that's not fair, because he seemed well-adjusted and quite nice.
And I ended up in a long conversation with him on one of my favorite topics, what New York City was like before I was born.
What?
It was so weird how we ended up on my favorite very specific topic
about a different town in a different country isn't that so weird related to my birthday it's
like oh yeah we started this swedish guy and i started talking about how new york was before
i was born i only brought it up twice and we ended up talking about it how strange oh my god
it fascinates me to imagine my parents driving
into work every day in a
taxi driver world.
But I digress. You should prepare for
digressions before coming in here, because there
are endless nooks into which the wares
of this shop are tucked,
and you are going to want to spend some time.
If I'd had more room
in my luggage, I would have brought my nephew
this perfect wooden train set from Germany
so leave time and space
end of review
I thought that was pretty cute
I love that they're like
he's comic book guy I mean he's not cause that's rude
yeah yeah they like realized
they realized yeah that's probably not a nice comparison
to make
the whole time she was talking about New York she's like
wow this guy really reminds me of simpsons character oh and then i have one more from rachel this is a
caribou restaurant caribou k-a-r-i-b-u um it's a restaurant in scarborough ontario canada this is a
review by urs. Five stars.
This place is so wonderful. The couple
who run this shop have such personality
and we got into a long conversation
with them in Swahili about their
journey from Tanzania to Canada long
ago. They made some off-menu
items fresh for us to eat based
off what we wanted since we were craving
Tanzanian home food.
Unfortunately, we don't live nearby and can't revisit anytime soon,
but we definitely will when we are in the area in the future.
Check this place out and support your local small family-run businesses.
End of review.
Wow!
Yelper's report this location has closed.
I was going to ask and then I thought, no.
Sorry for the bummer.
Sorry for the bummer.
I just really i
feel like you get bonus points for finding not only a conversation but a conversation swahili
a different language it's pretty good i didn't find that rachel found oh rachel um so thank you
to the rachels for your help i appreciate you beautiful stuff um but we're not done because
i have more of my own i'm i have got you know, I'll leave that one for last.
Here's one of the Starbucks.
This is in the Arena District in Columbus, Ohio.
This is a review by Paul for Stars.
I love the tea they serve here.
It's really good stuff.
I had a long talk with the barista about Battlestar Galactica, since there is a character of the same name in that.
She seemed mad I even brought it up.
Maybe there should be a Battlestar Galactica day.
End of review.
Wait.
It was great.
We had a long conversation, which she hated.
Yeah.
Yeah.
At least say, hey, Paul still gave four stars.
So I included it because technically it was a positive review.
Yeah.
And I love how the conclusion is that there should be a battle star galactica day i don't know if that means that
starbucks locations in the u.s in the world in the universe just for this this particular starbucks
location yeah maybe based on just based on this one barista barista's name who gets this comment
probably a lot i mean i wonder because yeah battle staractica. I haven't watched it in a long time, but I'm wondering if it was a name that's something
like kind of very unique, like unique, or if it's just a very generic name.
And this person was like, oh, like the Battlestar Galactica character.
Like, I don't know what that is.
What are you talking about?
She's seen Mad.
Anyway, it was great.
She's seen Mad.
That was so funny.
Okay, so here's one.
This is a five-star review of Comfy, K-H-O-M-F-A-I, colon Thai dining experience.
This is in Maycomb Township, Michigan.
This is a review by Marie.
This is five stars.
Okay, I'm one of those people who are guilty of only leaving a review on a
restaurant if i've had a bad experience been there done that but this experience however was so great
that i'm stepping out of my comfort zone in hopes of telling others what an awesome dining experience
we had here the only negative thing that happened the entire time was out of the Com-Fi waitstaff's responsibility.
As my husband, myself, and our two-year-old son were seated at our table,
the older couple at the table beside us looked at our son and rolled their eyes
and very loudly remarked about how inappropriate it was for us to bring a child into the dining establishment.
Oh, but how wrong they were!
That was the only bump in the road from then on out.
My husband and I ordered the Thai iced tea and happily slurped them both down in a matter of minutes.
Oops.
Oops, wink.
Okay, thanks.
We ordered a round of spring rolls, which were also quickly demolished.
As we waited for our food, pad thai for my hubby, pineapple fried rice for me, and mac and cheese for the kiddo,
we had the sweetest and most meaningful chat with who we assumed to be the owner.
She was so quick to make us feel welcome and explain the backstory of the restaurant.
What if she's just some random lady?
We assumed she was the owner, but she did kind of just wander in off the street.
And she made up an entire backstory for the restaurant it made sense but
actually i have a theory on who it is after this next sentence she even went so far as to help us
out with jotting down the address of a mexican restaurant we might like to try we are new to
this area from oklahoma and we miss mexican food like this place this is part of her guerrilla marketing she just goes into a random restaurant
pretends to be the owner of a sister restaurant of ours um also i would like to comment on how
they say we are new to this area from oklahoma and we miss mexican food does oklahoma have more
mexican food than michigan i mean i guess it's for regionally yeah maybe but it doesn't feel like it's like a a bed
of mexico maybe i'm wrong texas maybe i don't know much about oklahoma or michigan but that
seemed like we're about to find out like if they said texas or even california i'd be like yeah
or maybe new mexico or maybe mexico but they said oklahoma so i don't know it just seems very maybe maybe just more maybe in relation to
michigan it's just more yeah authentic i don't know i don't know when our food arrived we couldn't
have been more delighted everything was right with the world and we ate to our hearts content
not only was the food amazing but every single member of the wait staff was attentive and chatty
and sweet in fact my son
scored high fives from every waitress as he flirted his way through the meal ew right i don't like
that sentence at all i would be the weirdo couple next door rolling my eyes too i'd be like this is
a weird situation being new to the area we rely heavily on reading reviews of restaurants in the
hopes of finding our new spot this review is my attempt at doing that for someone else and to also highlight and thank
the family at comb 5 for doing what they do exceptionally well we will most certainly be
back to our new spot no i agree i think end of review no i agree i think it is very um nice and
that is the right attitude to have when leaving reviews that's the right attitude yeah yeah i'm
an expert by now i've read so fucking many okay i also the right attitude yeah yeah i'm an expert by now
i've read so fucking many okay i also like that she was like i'm really going out of my comfort
zone to help other people and we're like let's blast this across the internet oops sorry yeah
sorry hey it was a overall pretty good review some things in there i was like oh okay i liked it i
have one more okay this one is kind of similar and and goes against what i said
at the beginning because this long talk wasn't in regards to the service but i just really like
this situation that happened okay um and kind of remind me of that last one where i was like leaving
a review in the right way so this person for some background left a two-star review of rap shack
in philadelphia okay uh where they mentioned that they ordered a tofu tofu wrap and received
yeah wrap w-r-a-p they ordered a tofu wrap for delivery they received a chicken wrap
they called and the person on the phone was like no no i know that you order the chicken wrap
and um nancy here said, no, I order tofu.
I've been a vegetarian my whole life.
I definitely wouldn't order chicken.
That would have been a weird thing to accidentally order, yeah.
And so the person on the phone said, okay,
like kind of gave in and then sent another one,
a tofu wrap for free.
Well, I mean, they still have to pay for the first one.
They replaced it, but it took two hours.
So they left a review saying how frustrated they were at the situation.
Okay.
Well, the owner responded and gave contact information.
Wow.
The two got in touch and then Nancy updated the review to a five-star review.
So this is a dream situation.
I know.
This is amazing.
I have goosebumps just
thinking about it don't say that it's like this is like my version of yelp fan fiction
you're making it weird is when people leave negative reviews and then update them to positive
reviews after a change everyone got along at the end um so here is a five-star review of rap shack
in philadelphia written by nancy i am writing an update because after i wrote a negative review
the owner reached out and contacted me directly we had a long talk on the phone where he asked
detailed questions about my experience and had me run through how everything had played out
he also mentioned that he had asked his staff about the mix-up too and got their side of things
before calling me he listened to everything that i had to say. He gave some explanations,
but didn't try to blow me off with excuses.
It was immediately apparent
that the owner of this restaurant
cares very deeply about the experience of his customers
and the reputation of his business.
He was reasonable, professional,
and really open to feedback.
I don't think that you could ask for more.
End of review.
Wow, that's nice.
I actually have goosebumps
because I'm a baby about this stuff
for some reason i just really like this it made me very very happy that's so rare we don't see
that it is it's it's it's refreshing yes my my body is so refreshed it's making goosebumps
ew stop saying weird shit about goosebumps um that was really that was a comfort to me thank you good like a good good old uh cracker barrel
catfish like ew like a senior breakfast gross of fish off a truck yikes big warm hug
okay now see you made it worse there we go fried coca-cola deep fried coca which sounds pretty good
if you could have deep fry the taste of Coca-Cola.
I think they do that.
How?
I don't know.
Maybe I made that up.
Oh, I'm like, what?
I thought they did.
What does that mean?
Deep fried Coca-Cola?
I feel like they've done that before.
Deep.
Who?
Who is they?
You know.
You know.
Oh, I don't.
I have an idea of it.
No, it's a real thing.
Fried Coke.
Fried Coke or deep fried soda is a frozen coca-cola flavored batter that is deep fried and then topped with coca-cola syrup
whipped cream cinnamon sugar and a cherry wow um that is yeah they look like little donut holes
but they're like soaked coca-cola deep fried that sounds delicious i know it does i think
i've seen it at a um at a county fair of all places that would make sense that sounds delicious i know it does i think there's a vegan way to do that at a um
at a county fair of all places that would make sense that's where i had like deep fried uh
oreos and twinkies exactly it's same kind of vibe i would think um anyway well great job sandy
thank you thank you to megan for sending that one in yes thank you so much that was and i like that
and i like that it was so positive and that's not megan it's mary mary sorry no i'm stop giving megan credit i just megan and i connected over
something earlier maybe i don't know megan did something it was the jars oh yeah that's right
we've already blocked her from this episode she can't even hear this now we have to block mary
alexander now we're just adding names to our geographic blocking list
oh man oh sorry megan and mary um actually sorry to the people who know them just please don't tell
them that they're geographically blocked but they are um but seriously mary thank you for that
challenge close to them or else you can't hear it either just saying if you're in their like circle
you're not gonna get the the episode. It's unfortunate.
Thank you, Mary, for that challenge.
I quite enjoyed that.
It was like you just said, Christina.
It was refreshing.
Refreshing.
Yeah. So I feel pretty good.
All right.
So we're going to share the theme and challenges for the next two episodes.
Our theme for 146, which comes out two weeks from this episode of release is reviews of beanie
babies because apparently they sell them everywhere like on walmart and everything
um that's so fun and yeah i walmart i bet target does uh there was ebay of course um so yeah you
can my party city i saw when i googled this okay um but yeah and
hopefully we'll find some reviews uh send some in if you find any fun ones um but yeah that's a thing
so i figured it could be uh oh that's gonna be interesting be interesting but um
we'll see i hope they're enough i'm sure i'm a little worried but uh if not we'll see. I hope they're enough. I'm sure we'll find stuff. I'm a little worried, but if not, we'll stall somehow.
We'll find stuff.
That was from me.
Maybe someone suggested that, but I just kind of came up with that just now.
It sounds like it's from your brain.
Because I was thinking stuffed animals, and I thought, ooh, maybe more specific.
Beanie babies is good.
Okay, great.
So the challenge for you for 146 is from Kristen, a.k.a. Kristen.
The Kristen. The Kristen, who designed our karma back to
you pin as a member of the hogpins in my stream more importantly designed our karma to you pin
back to you pin um said first i mentioned uh on zandy's stream last night but in case he got too
caught up in geoguessr so clearly kris and he tried to avoid this challenge and i'm just
forcing it back into the narrative reviews of classes where the reviewer thinks they're better
than the instructor i did not see that in the man there was everyone's giving suggestions i
missed that one though you uh so like a cooking class where they're like i've done the cooking
yeah no we did talk about that that's right that's right that's right that's so funny okay
good i'll be fun hopefully i really like that one i didn't write any of these down so i'm glad that you still
emailed in kristen i would be surprised if you wrote them down anywhere we have those jars just
laying around and we don't even use them true um and then the theme for 147 is from kat she her
and kat suggested whale watching in british columbia i'm just gonna say whale watching in
general yeah i love it yay yep whale watching any babies and whale watching in British Columbia. I'm just going to say whale watching in general. Yeah, I love it.
Yay.
Yep.
Whale watching.
Beanie babies and whale watching.
This is getting weird. This is getting weird, but I love it.
Reviews of whale watching.
There's a lot, by the way.
I googled whale watching in California and wow, there's thousands and thousands.
That's perfect.
Yeah.
I have a challenge here.
This is from Natalie.
And this is baby related.
Oh.
But I wanted something that would be fun, not like something terrible.
You know, people are like, oh, reviews of maternity wards.
And I'm like, no.
Oh, my God.
No, we've tried that.
We made the mistake of veterinarians.
It's so sad and awful.
We can't.
Yeah.
Anyway.
made the mistake of a veterinarian it's so sad and awful we can't yeah anyway so natalie wrote in gave some great suggestions um and uh finished off the email by saying hope christine is handling
the third trimester better than i am i'm not actually i just found out some fun fact this
is where i insert my fun fact the baby is literally sideways and is destroying my pain thresholds
um so yeah you know what uh i'm with you natalie we're not handling it
well together so yeah yeah don't worry well natalie says solidarity not necessarily in
response to that specifically but it's in this email before here's a challenge to make your
life harder what is it um no your challenge your challenge is uh reviews of baby products
that consumers used for their pets.
Oh, that's good.
Because it's adorable stuff, like a stroller or something.
Oh, wait, that's so good.
Yeah.
And so Natalie says, I've encountered some of these while building my own baby registry.
That's precious.
But I don't know if the adorableness will translate over a podcast since it has been the pictures that have sold it for me.
Well, we like to use pictures to our advantage on the show so we still despite it being a podcast talk about pictures all
the time we make the visual part of our show uh whether it works or not yeah so natalie thank you
for that uh natalie she her if i didn't mention that uh so yeah thank you for that. Yeah. Okay, perfect. Well, we will see you.
We're about to record 146.
Yep.
5, 145.
145, our airports episode.
Hope you enjoy that.
Hope we enjoy it.
I hope we enjoy it.
More important.
I don't really care if you guys enjoy it.
That's a lie.
We desperately rely on you to enjoy it.
So on that note, we'll see you next week.
Talk to you then.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.