Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 15: Record Stores in Indianapolis, IN

Episode Date: March 6, 2019

RudeJuggalo, WeedLMFAO, alxdude9, and imalwayzcrazy444. Which ones are our old AIM accounts and which are new? You have to listen to find out! This week we travel to Indianapolis to visit some of our best friends, including Air Bud, the Indiana Sniffer, Sonic the Hedgehog, and SpongeBob. We're still trying to connect the dots... Grab your accordions, your Faygo, and please keep your septum piercings in your septum! Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD, jgreer, and tyops. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Welcome to Beach to Sandy, Water to Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. Hello and welcome to Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet, the podcast where we read the worst reviews in the most dramatic fashion. I am Christine. And I am Alex. That was loud.

What, me? Yes. Sorry. I am currently propped in many situational ways on this couch. I'll post a picture for our patrons to see. I thought it would be really smooth and casual if I brought the mic onto a couch with my wine, my laptop, and the mouse.

Spoiler alert, it's not. It's not working well, so if you hear banging, I'm sorry. Alexander for editing purposes, I guess. Yeah. Also for your ears. For your ears purposes, I guess. Yeah. Also for your ears. For your ears. So, hi.

Hi. What's the dealio today? Well, we are on the big one. See how casual? That was really smooth. Sorry I just interrupted you. I'm also apparently ruder when I'm on this couch. We're on the big one five.

That's episode 15. That means we can get our learner's permit. Halfway through the week we can. 15 and a half. Okay, great. Right? At least in Ohio. I'll see you on Saturday.

Okay. Cool. The big one five, I gave you a theme, and that was record stores in Indianapolis, Indiana. That's right, yes. And I gave you a challenge, which was to find a review of a product in which the reviewer promotes their own product, which I've heard from you and Allie was an extremely difficult task. It was awful. And I am sorry for that. I bothered Allie so much about this because I was struggling so much. I did end up figuring it out. She helped me like think about what to search. Um, but I found a couple things. Oops. That's okay. It was a challenge. Well, I guess that's the point. I'm kind of

scared what you're going to come back at me with. It's a fun one. Oh, great. I love the sound of that. Yeah, you should. Okay. I'm going to go into my reviews. Okay. Record stores in Indianapolis, Indiana. I'm ready. I have three one-star reviews for you. Oh, damn. And they are all from Karma Records. Oh, no. Okay. This first one is from someone whose name I won't try to pronounce.

Okay. It is a one-star review. Tonight, I went to Karma in hopes of purchasing a septum ring. It does sound like a crystal shop in LA if you're thinking about it. I went to Karma tonight to buy a septum ring. Sounds like the most silver-like.

I immediately prepared it. I'm going to use it without finishing it. It doesn't even matter what happens next. Okay, sorry, go on. I know this is my fault for the most part, but I was disappointed by the lack of communication and effort to try to resolve the issue. I quickly found one I liked and had it put on hold while I looked around.

I thought they were going to say, had it put on my nose. I was like, no. Excuse me, can you please help me put this on? Gross. Well once I got to my car I quickly tried it on only to realize the metal was made offset. You couldn't even really tell looking at it on its own. It was a flaw you would really only notice once it was on. When I went back in to try to explain asked if it was final sale they said yes and would not do anything since i had tried it on which i understand but i work in retail i know the store would have taken maybe a four dollar loss by replacing it they never even

asked to look at look at the ring and i ended up tossing it in their trash why would anyone want to look at the ring it was just in your nose like it in their trash. Why would anyone want to look at the ring? It was just in your nose. Like you literally just said, oh, I put this septum ring on. You stuck it into my nostrils. Here it is. Why don't you take a look? It's only $4. Also, you have to look really, really closely because you can't tell from afar.

Put it real close up. Lean in a little. And then she just snaps it on him. Stick it in your nose. He's like, ah, see? See what I mean? Anyway. Anyway.

I never expected my money back. Simply a replacement of the same or lesser value. I will not be returning for any more jewelry or anything else for that matter. Bad customer service. I know. Wait, what? So why would you be buying? Is this a record store?

Yes. That apparently sells septum piercings. Or septum, like. Septum ring. Yeah. Yeah, that's not. They don't do the piercings. Who knows?

This isn't a Klairs. Who knows? Oh, that would be a fun. Does Klairs do septum piercings too? No. Usually they only do ear lobes. Some places do cartilage. Oh, fancy. But they use a gun for the cartilage yeah which isn't safe oh really i only know this because i googled it fascinating

when i got my cartilage pierced oh at karma at karma big mistake um wow but yeah i it's i just read a story also of someone who went into a toy store and had like was four dollars short and was like oh like can i still have it and they were like no so it's like this it just bothers me that she's like oh it's just four dollars i work in retail but if you're working retail you understand the person who works there at this probably small local record shop like the employee can't just like take the fucking hit on themselves yeah they probably have to pay that four dollars and that's half of their fucking hourly wage exactly what the hell are they gonna do about that oh anyway they're gonna and they're like bad customer service no they didn't accept something back that you put in your nose i also don't really understand the

opening of i know this is probably my fault. Well, that's the thing. You read it and you're like, okay, this is going to be reasonable, but it's one star because they wouldn't accept your septum piercing that was in your nose. This is a really good one. I liked it very much. Thank you. We can analyze it. Thank you, person. Dig really deep. Thank you. Dig really deep into your nose.

I don't know. A-N-G-A-E-N-A-H? Angina. Angina? Angina? I don't know. I don't know. But thank you.

Vagina? Thank you nonetheless. Thank you nonetheless. Here's another one-star review. This is by Destiny. Okay, thanks Destiny. Wouldn't sell to me because I said the word weed. L-M-F-A-O.

End of review. Wait, that's it? That's it. What? What? Yeah. Oh, shit. Yeah, careful what you say around them.

I really want more information. And this was three months ago, so not even like year 2000. I don't know. I actually don't know. Maybe it's... I actually don't know what the weed laws are in Indiana, but I imagine not pretty good. Yeah. Despite the word. Despite the crystal shops and septum piercings, apparently.

Yeah. Not really. I do like Indianapolis, though. All right. Here's the third one. Uh-huh. From Cameron. Okay, Cameron.

Overpriced. Rude. Juggalo. Employees. End of review. Oh my god. They add a couple good short and sweet ones. Do you think they're actually...

Juggalos? Yeah. I don't know. I could get down with this. Stories. You want to head there? This would be a fun little adventure. We go there, film something for YouTube with the Juggalos.

I'm telling you, fly down quite a rabbit hole. Grab some Faygo and let's go. Let's fucking go, man. Yeah. Cool. That was fun. That was fun. You worked at a record label.

In Indianapolis. That kind of was my inspiration. I looked it up. Joyful Noise Recordings. There weren't many reviews. They're great people. Well, there were two not one-star reviews, but they weren't very interesting. Yeah, I did look them up, too.

You did? I really wanted to find them. Because they did have this really cool little room that was their record store. I don't know what it looks like now. I think they actually moved locations. But they had a little cute room, and room that was their record store i don't know what it looks like now i think they actually moved locations but they had a little cute room and it was their little record store that's how i got paid actually i got paid in records take one home a week that seems illegal i drove two hours it was like an internship i got paid in septum piercing so suck it uh yeah but go check them out they're cool kishi bashi kishi bashi okay is that my turn now it is your turn now okay so i have a weird situation for you

i'm intrigued yeah it's it's a lot ready i don't i don't think i can be you haven't really given me much we go all let's just say we go all over the place okay okay i've done that to you so it's about time that you return the favor this is a one-star review from james uh of a place called disc replay movies music and games which now i'm like they have a little bit of everything. Yeah, they do sell records, though. I checked. I didn't, but just pretend I did. Music's in the title. I'll accept it.

Thank you. It is in Indianapolis, right? It is. Not in, like, India? I checked. Okay. I didn't, but... No, I'm just kidding.

I did. Okay. Ready? No. This is the review that i never wanted to write especially because this has been my favorite dvd store for years sadly i can't shop here anymore because the air fresheners are way too strong no there's four a's in that way too strong okay we've got a new thing to complain about all capital letters.

Not the bookshelves this time, or whatever it was. The cabinets. Not the cabinets. The cabinets. The air fresheners. What moron picked these cabinets? Do these air fresheners squirt him or something? They smell like dead bodies? Yeah.

Wait, are you telling me they don't use Corpse Biguchi? Smell. Corpse's Biguchi. Is it Corpse Biguchi or Cor gucci corpses be i'm pretty sure in our episode description for last week i put corpse be gucci okay let's just go with that okay my sinuses aren't even that bad oh good no james thank you i'm happy for you my wife's are much worse and she can't last more than one minute in the store.

This is bullshit, this next line. I've spent thousands upon thousands of dollars at this location. On DVDs? What the hell is he buying? Air Bud in its original casing. They had a first edition Air Bud? Are you kidding me? Still in the wrapping

complete with bonus footage no director's cut airbuds cut with commentary okay i spent thousands upon thousands of dollars at this location but i can't buy anything if I can't breathe. God damn it, James. It is my hope that this review might finally get the attention of the new owner that took over last year, who I am now told has refused to do anything about this air freshener issue, so that I might be able to once again shop here. I really want to support this business, but seriously,

you have to do something about these awful air fresheners either turn them down or get rid of them i want my favorite dvd store back okay that last line is kind of sad i want my dvd store back this whole thing is kind of sad yeah but it does beg the question what happened when ownership changed? Did the last owner die in the back room? Oh, Corpse P. Gucci. Corpse P. Gucci. I know what happened. Tell me. I bet you they fucking worked for one of those, for that scentsy MLM wax melting company.

You think it's Big Air Freshener? Big Air Freshener. They're behind all of this? Yeah. You mean, what was it called big air squirt big air squirt um wow that's something i wonder if like maybe he got married and his wife started going to and his wife has bad sinuses and she complained so she does have famously bad sinuses. You know what? We call her the Indiana Sniffer for that reason. Uh-huh.

Yep. Let's move on, maybe? Please. Okay, the next review is by Brendan, and it is a one-star review of a place called The Exchange. It's just a bad place. That's it. Sonic is my favorite SpongeBob character. End of review. What? Okay, I don't get it. Do is my favorite SpongeBob character. End of review.

What? Okay, I don't get it. Do you get it? No. Okay, because I asked Allie and Blaze and they were like, I don't know what the fuck that means. I'm sitting here trying to figure that out. Sonic is my favorite SpongeBob character? It's just a bad place.

That's it. Sonic is my favorite SpongeBob character. Is that code? I looked it up too. googled it it's not a thing unless it's on the dark web whoa anyway so that was weird that was a weird that okay that is a weird one i'm glad you included that because we need to solve this mystery yeah if anyone can illuminate this issue for us because famously sonic the hedgehog is not in spongebob correct that is my assessment having worked at nickelodeon i feel i am an expert on that particular topic and having played um sonic the hedgehog for sega genesis i would say that I'm also an expert in Sonic.

So there really are no two more equipped people to understand this. No, exactly. Anyway. And so the fact that we're puzzled, that's a sign of a huge major conspiracy. That's something that you used to say in your sleep when you were sleep talking. Like, go eat a fat broccoli. Yeah, that's his line that he said one time in his sleep my cat new my catchphrase sonic is my favorite spongebob character all right now this is just something that happened here

i'm telling you this is a wild trip i found this upon my on my journey okay and i thought half price books is not a record store. However, they sell records. They sell a lot of records. Yeah, and like... I have purchased records from there, and I have actually... I might have sold some there, too. I love half-price books.

I really do. So they sell books, they sell records, they sell CDs, all sorts of stuff. I know it doesn't totally count as, like, a record store. I miss half-price books. Me, too. Yeah, but they have a cute, like a big selection, bigger than some small record stores, so I accept it. Okay, good. Thank you. This is a review from Bob. One star. Wait, Bob of the sponge variety? Maybe he has some clues for us.

He seems to be quite a character. Oh my god, I I get it. Oh, my God. Let's listen in. Holy shit. He was selling a supersonic record. No, I'm just kidding. Okay. That's a band, right? Yeah. Did I make that up?

It sounds like it would be a band. Maybe I'm thinking Supermassive Black Hole by Muse. Okay. Cool. It's just a very indie band, you guys would know. Yeah, duh. Okay. Cool. It's just a very indie band, you guys would know. Yeah, duh. Okay, so Bob says one star. I wanted to see how honest

these guys were, so I brought in a pristine new book valued at $2,000. Okay. What kind of pristine new book is worth $2,000? Like the original bible but it's not very pristine bible still in plastic wrap just like airbud but maybe it was the the novelization of airbud

director's cut god damn it okay what so tell us what happened. The new book valued at $2,000. Clerk looks it up, gets big eyes. I was lurking around the corner watching. And then calls her manager. Then they offer me $50. When I called them out, they admitted, although embarrassed, that they knew what the book was worth. So, you just admitted that you were trying to rip me off.

Never, ever go there. End of review. What the fuck? Who? Okay, okay. I wanted to see if they were honest. It's literally called half-priced books. Why would they buy a $2,000 book?

Who? Why would this? Bob, who? What? I don't even understand. Do you think their location there, that specific location has the budget to buy a $2,000? They were probably like, shit, like what's the maximum we can buy a book for? Oh, $50.

Okay, well, it's really low, but we can, I guess, offer it. Like, fuck. People are so dumb. Bob, that wasn't very nice of you. I really want to know what that book was though i brought i wanted to see if they were honest like what a weird okay this is bored just bored one day bob needs a hobby maybe you should try reading that pristine book instead of trying to sell it to half price books thank you you're welcome this is a review of okay you know that store called fye for your entertainment yeah that's always absolutely i do they're always at the mall and we used to make our mom take us in there and now it's just kind of sad. And they have like cutouts of like Justin Bieber. Yeah, good times.

So this is a review of FYE by Michael. It's a four star review. Kind of a redemption. Because I will tell you, the FYE stores have like 1.5 stars all around. Oh yeah, I imagine. This is what Michael had to say. It's a redemption for FYE. Which I don't know if redemptions work that way that they're like pulled from different.

It doesn't matter okay michael says i love this place for lunch their yellow curry is amazing what i don't know i love this place for lunch their yellow curry is amazing i typically like green curry but be advised the green curry here comes in extra hot. My dinner was so hot, I could not eat it. Be careful what you order. End of review. What the hell?

I'm telling you. Is it like a four-year eating? Maybe. Maybe? I was so confused. Okay, how do you make that kind of mistake? I don't know. Unless there's a place called FYE Indian.

I don't understand. I mean, maybe it called FYE Indian. I don't understand. I mean, maybe it was in the mall, and so they were like... Okay, maybe. Is this on Yelp? Yeah, no. Google. Oh, okay. So maybe it was like Google Maps clicked on the wrong thing.

Oh, maybe. I don't know how that works. But that is impressive. I just was very amazed. If that was an honest mistake, that is impressive. Because I was looking for top... I was doing the opposite, and everything on FYE was like a one-star review. So I was like, oh, mistake, that is impressive. Because I was looking for top, I was looking for, I was doing the opposite and everything on FYE was like a one-star review.

So I was like, oh, look, a good one. And then it was like, their curry is really spicy. I was just very confused. Okay. Final one. I have one more. Sorry. This is a lot.

I know. This is a redemption that I needed, that I accidentally stumbled upon. It is perhaps the greatest thing that I've discovered on my journey of reading reviews. Grace my ears, I need it right now. This is a five-star review of Arthur's Music Store by Susan. I'm 68 years old. When I was 12, I took accordion lessons at this music store.

Oh. The young man who taught me was called Joey Wetzel, Oh. Wonderful memories. Eight spaces. Glad to see it's still there. Eight spaces. Oh, I was called Susan Bills back then. This was probably around 1961. End of review. That is so cute. I about died.

I just saw accordion lessons and my heart melted. That is so nice. Isn't that the sweetest thing? Yeah. So how many... What if she still plays accordion that was 56 years ago gosh that's everyone should check that place out it's been around so long and it's not just the most that is really i love that she's kind of retired and she's just sitting on on yelp or on google

maps and just kind of like oh i've lived here like in probably in india in her whole life just like five stars i want to do that one day. My dad likes my accordion teacher. Five stars. I want to give Mr. Lim, who gave me violin lessons, I want to give him a review. I want to give him negative five stars. Maybe when I'm 60, it'll be up to five at that point. If you have dementia, maybe.

Sorry, he was so mean. Okay, but he was strict, but... He was pretty mean. He's a good guy. Sure. Five stars. Could you imagine if he listened to this? No. Like, if he listened to my podcast?

No, he would never. Okay. Anyway. Anyway. That's that. I just thought that was the best... The best... That was perfect.

That was perfect. I kind of wish we just ended the episode now. Okay, bye. Because now I have to go into my bullshit go into your bullshit i'm ready i'm so sorry i know this is such your challenge was awful i'm so sorry it's okay it was okay but oh god let's just say it was awful okay is this the hardest one you've done yet absolutely okay It was awful. Okay.

Is this the hardest one you've done yet? Absolutely. Okay. Absolutely. And that's why... Okay, well, this one... I'm going to start it off with this one woman who... Took accordion lessons when she was 12. Well, she doesn't explicitly say that or the product that she's selling.

She does say that she's selling it, but she doesn't give a link or anything is what I mean. Okay, yes. I understand. I mean, I think that very much counts. Okay, good that she's selling it, but she doesn't like give a link or anything. Okay. Yes, I understand. I mean, I think that very much counts. Okay, good. I found a lot of those actually on Amazon. Yeah,

absolutely. People were like, Oh, I bought this because I sell this. All MLMs. That makes so much sense. Multi-level marketing companies. If you're wondering what that means,

listen to the dream podcast PS, if anyone's listening and wants to learn more about, I'll check that out. I actually haven't listened to that. It's quite interesting. Okay. Okay. Anyway, dream podcast ps if anyone's listening and wants to learn more about i'll check that out i actually haven't listened to that quite interesting okay okay anyway here is a review i have two reviews from the same woman of two different products to start so these are both by jaina and the first one is for a batch of a hundred hot pink mailers wait what so i just spit everywhere what does that mean like mailers like you would put like envelopes yes oh but they're like padded i think and rectangular

sorry is there like a u.s postal service mlm that i don't know no no no just listen okay i'm sorry the product itself is not okay but she's reviewing okay oh i see she's mailing thing okay never mind i bought these fun colored mailers to ship my lula row leggings to my customers for first class mail sorry they are similar to one of the llr style guide colors so it was a fun match the quality is there and the price was right for a poly mailer durable yet lightweight all you can ask for in a mailer it's five stars by the way oh okay i thought they were going to be more negative like this is oh no that's the thing is whenever they what i found is like what that's what i look for at first like my product's better than this right my essential oils are better than this essential i i did essential oils i did uh

lula rowe i did did like the fitness supplements. I did. Yeah. I even did like the insurance ones. I mean, I went all over the place. Oh, I'm sorry. But that's a good point. I didn't really think about it that way.

People supplementing what they're selling with a different product. Exactly. Okay. That makes sense. Open my eyes in a way. Okay. So how did you find that? Hot pink mint. Like how on earth did you find that hot pink mint?

Like how on earth did you find that? Should I give away my like searching techniques? Can you tell, can you tell it? And if we think it's too much to reveal, we won't post it, but I just really want to know. So when I search for a review, what I'll do is in Google. Oh, you've taught me this. I do site colon and then do the site. So in this case, amazon.com.

And then I'll do quotations.com and then i will do quotations and do quotations i sell lula row oh my god so i'll find reviews of products that say quote i sell my dumb ass goes and clicks on every toothpaste that amazon sells which is like 1800 yep and searches the reviews but the thing is that's what made this so hard was i did that for so many sites i did that target it's too. I did that at Target, Walmart, Costco. I did multiple versions of that, everything, and this is all I could find. It's too vague of a challenge, yeah. It was awful.

But anyway, so that's how I found these. And I found this woman through that, and she reviewed laundry bags. Here's her laundry bag review. Okay. Also five stars. The laundry bags here's her laundry bag review okay also five stars the laundry bags are fabulous i bought them to hand out to my lula row customers as thank yous and reminders to hang dry their leggings good quality at a stellar price i'll be buying more as soon as i run out of this stash no honey end of review well that's the thing you'd normally see MLM people and you're like, oh, no, like they're falling for this.

I clicked on her profile. Okay. What's her name again? And she is killing it. Jaina. Wow. Oh, those were both from Jaina, right? Okay.

She is killing it. Oh, my God. Because she's an Instagram influencer and an Amazon influencer. Do you know about that? For real? She has a little checkmark by her name. That's why I clicked on her specifically. There are a lot of people who said this, like on mannequins and stuff.

They would review, like, I use this for my LuLaRoe stuff. Oh, shit. But she was an influencer. I clicked on her, and she has, like, an Amazon store. And because, and, like, just products from other companies. What? But she gets a cut. She gets money for putting them in her store.

So if people buy them through her store. Right. She gets like a. She gets. Interest. And that's the thing that I've seen on like YouTubers will have that where they'll say like, oh, like there's a link in my bio for, or I'm sorry, there's a link in our description for.

Like affiliate links. Yeah. Affiliate links. Like the gear I use to film this. Right. And they'll earn money off of it. Sure. subscription for affiliate links, like the gear I use to film this. Right. And they'll earn money off of it. Sure. Well, that's what she does.

But she also has a blog, like an online blog that's really popular, over 100,000 likes on Facebook. And her Instagram is really popular. Her Instagram, like every other post is an ad for a product. Really? Yeah. So wait, so is her thing just LuLaRoe or is it like? No, that's the thing.

Oh, I see. She's all over the place, killing it on social media and selling this stuff. Yeah. All right, Jaina. Get it, I guess. Yeah, I know. Yeah. I was like, gotta respect that.

At least she's killing it all over the place. If your hustle's working, good for you. Yeah. One person out of the thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands... There's actually... Would I say millions is what i say millions should i say millions of mlmers yeah millions right i would say probably well yeah i guess if you count like amway and everything exactly well yeah probably worldwide i don't know i mean

i don't know but i do know there is a percentage of people who profit and it is less than 10 oh i would say let's oh who profit okay but make a like a living wage it's oh oh I would say it's... Oh, who profit. Okay, but make like a living wage. It's even smaller. I think it's about one. Honestly, I've heard it's like closer to 1%. But it's hard to tell because none of these companies will release that information. So it's like an estimate. It's sad.

Anyway, sorry. Go on. So there was that. So that was Jaina. So she was one of those people that she was kind of pushing her products, but in a subtle way. And succeeding. I mean, it seems to be working. It seems seems like she's succeeding whatever the fuck she's doing um i'm she i would drink the kool-aid if that lady came at me with some ugly leggings i'd probably buy into it exactly so now then i

found one for 100 jewelry pouches you'd buy 100 at a time okay this is a five-star review from dylan perfect for rodent and fields samples uh it's actually rodan oh is it rodan like the like the sculptor rodent um i believe it is rodan and fields i didn't know that until i listened to the dream podcast whatever rodan i think so i said rodent like rodent i said it like rodent i think it's like the douchiest way you could say it. Rodan and Fields. Rodan. Okay, sorry. And Fields samples.

And I just want to point out that in this and the next use of Fields, Fields is spelled wrong. Wait, E-I? Mm-hmm. Or is there a Z at the end? Or both. No, it's E-I. My wife and I sell Rodan and Fields skincare. And these are the perfect size for the samples we give out. Oh, it's EI. My wife and I sell Rodin and Fields skincare, and these are the perfect size for the samples we give out.

Oh, dear. We also use the Beauty Calm 3G slash 3ML high-quality clear plastic cosmetic container jars with white lids. It's a cry for help, the 3ML. They rock as well. The bags are strong and they tie easy. They are just sheer enough to give a nice look to whatever you put in them end of review what the fuck oh wait that's not the

end of the review okay okay go on this is the best part so i i wanted to end it quick because i wanted to just say that like the fact that it's spelled wrong makes me think that his wife was like hey write a review for this oh yeah probably you know why because this is what his ps says ps if you interested in rodan and fields go to oh my god and you know what it shows though oh my god what bracket open bracket dot dot dot close bracket amazon removed the link thank god they had included a link for their rodan and Fields thing. See, that's that bullshit I was thinking. And that third time, Fields was spelled wrong again. Wowza. Yeah, so they included the link and it got...

And that's the thing. Well, I know that it's Amazon policy where you cannot use links that are not the product you're reviewing. I mean, it makes sense. Yeah, it does make sense. Thank goodness they have that. But that's why it was so hard for me. I was actually about to say it's probably really hard. I looked everywhere.

That's why I tried sites like Walmart, Target. Because I thought maybe they weren't as strict. But I still couldn't find any there. Shit. And I did like Sephora even, like their reviews. Which are interesting. They include like a lot of pictures. Sephora, like people of their face.

Like, oh, this is what my face looks like when I use this makeup. Which makes sense. I just thought that was kind of interesting. Damn. So, yeah. But I want to want to know they tried to use their link i actually thought you were going to say the website and i was like we have to bleep that out yeah oh no that and that's another one i found someone else who did a lula row thing and ended with their like lula row tag it was like lula row christy something and i was like god like they just they found a way to put it in there so someone could search for it and like on facebook or something christy yeah christy kisses xoxo

i don't know that's stupid wait is that your supplier that's mine too oh god no that's my store remember when when i was in seventh grade i made people call me chrissy kiwi oh yeah not one person did it my aim aim account was uh rett or alex dude 90 i think i made alex dude nine well you're i was like what would be cool and you being two years older we're like i know what's cool me chrissy kiwi knows what's cool alex dude nine alex spelled A-L-X. That's even better. It's better than mine. It was I'm always crazy 444. That is pretty bad.

Pretty bad. But always without a Z in it. That's even worse. You guys, I'm so embarrassed. Buy my leggings. Add us on AIM because we're on it all the time. I actually say I am. Stop saying AIM.

But I'm watching Pen15 right now and they use, they say aim. They do. I haven't gotten to that part yet. Oh, and then Allie says aim. M says AIM. So I'm not the only one. Because Eva said aim. I don't know who that is.

I don't know who those people are, but yeah. They're my. Your groupie. My idols. Yeah. I stalk them on the internet. I don't really know them, but they're my best friends. Anyway.

Wow. This is devolving. I'm sorry AIM A-I-M I mean shit They're in my head A-I-M Good job we got through all that

That was the last one I'm sweating This show makes me sweat a lot To be fair I sweat all the time I'm going to give you a break quick because I'm going to read where people can find us. Oh, fantastic. Then I'm going to read a listener review.

Oh, great. Which will make you sweat even more. Great. And then we'll reveal the challenge and theme for next round. Fantastic. Next week. You can find us on Instagram and Twitter at Beach2Sandy, on Facebook at Beach2SandyWater2Wet. Our email is Beach2Sandy at gmail.com.

Our website is beach2sandy.com. Our YouTube channel is youtube.com slash c slash beach2sandywater2wet. And you can support us on Patreon at patreon.com slash beach2sandy. All right. All right. Now, do I have a treat for you? Okay. All right. All right. Now, do I have a treat for you? Okay. All right.

So, seven weeks ago. Seven weeks ago. Okay. We had a review. Okay. On iTunes, the Apple podcast. And it was someone who said, quote, The process of wrecking is so taxing on my very being that I must hibernate for seven weeks.

Wrecking? Oh, like recommending? Mm-hmm. A pupation of sorts. Oh, God, this guy. So I can once again emerge as a beautiful recommending butterfly. Is this the guy who called me an iguana or something? The prophecy has been fulfilled.

Stop it. It has been seven weeks. He is risen? J dollar sign has risen. Is risen. Is fulfilled. Stop it. It has been seven weeks. He is risen? J. Dollar Sign has risen. Is risen. Is risen. Thank you. I haven't read my Bible in a while.

I went to Catholic school. You did? Me too. That's weird. What a coincidence. And for everyone who's once again going to tell me it's J. Money, I know it's supposed to. But I want to have an influence on J dollar signs life by changing it to J dollar sign.

Wait, I literally didn't know that. Who's been telling you that? When I first read it, people like said, Oh, by the way, I think it's J to J money.

And I think J dollar sign also said that it was J money indirectly, not to correct me. Anyone who listens to my other groupie podcast would know that the second you tell me something is I'm doing something wrong, I will do it so much harder the way that I want it to be done. So Jade Dollar Sign is truly only what we're going to call this person. Thank you. Okay. Well, the prophecy is fulfilled. Okay.

The pupation is over. The pupation is complete. The pupation is complete. The cocoon has splintered? I don't know. Ooh, that sounds poetic. So foul. Okay, and it's a good one. Okay.

Oh, hello. I didn't see you there. Oh my god, that's my line! Oh my god, that's my line! Yeah, quoting the YouTube video. Check it out. Yes, it is true. Seven weeks have passed and I can feel the collective energy from the universe begging for more date j dollar sign knowledge

to recap my wreck is absolute my wrecks are always evocative raw fierce and vulnerable in an animalistic way much like a mother sheep nursing her ewe. The way in which I bare my soul to all is a transcendental experience. I once recommended Warren Buffett to bail on the stock market before the 2008 crash. I wrecked overalls to my wife eight freaking weeks before they came back in fashion. I once wrecked to myself that I drink more water every day. And here I stand, fashionable and hydrated. What the fuck?

This is only the beginning. Sorry, please hold. Did this person, J$, hit edit review and then put this in there? Oh yeah, this is an edit of their previous review. Sorry. Oh, is the original still in there? Oh yes. Oh my goodness.

I'm ignoring that. That's at the bottom. their previous review. Sorry. Oh, is the original still in there? Oh, yes. Oh, my goodness. I'm ignoring that. Like, that's at the bottom. I got it. Okay. I am also working on some very subversive recommendations of Dwayne the Rock Johnson and Kittens. But today is not about a wreck. Today is about a review.

Uh-oh. Yes. Yes, sheeple. You have heard that correct. I am officially reviewing, not wrecking, BTSWTW. Uh-oh, this makes me nervous. When I emerged from my pupation, I consumed seven episodes of BTSWTW in 35 minutes. It is possible to do if you are a master reviewer.

Without further ado, my revie. Ahem. This podcast is quite literally a masterclass in audio delight. Week after week, the siblings Schieffer delve into the world of negative reviews and immerse themselves in a cornucopia of civilization's own self-obsession. A pupa, if you will. Yes. A cocoon.

Now in lesser hands, one may become lost. Not these podcasters. Week after week, they rise from the ashes like sibling phoenix and bring joy to where there was once grief. Bravo, sheifers, bravo. Now allow me to introduce you to the siblings in question. Alex.

Alex may flaunt a devil-may-care attitude and embrace his bad boy persona, but don't fall for him, for his words and tone betray him. As he reads his own reviews and reacts to Christine's reviews, baby. Yeah, I am. As if saying, yes, we are having a laugh at these people. But still, they are people.

People with hopes and dreams. People with bills to pay. With children to love. And this is what the bad boy of podcasting brings to the table. Humanity. Oh my god, that's so sweet. I'm kind of true. Not that I bring humanity, but it's kind of true that I'm like the one that's like, oh, this is a person. But I think we're both that way. I just like to play devil's advocate. Well, here we go. If he calls me a mean person i'm gonna cry christine all i care about is j dollar sign now christine is a unique one oh yes on the

surface she is clearly much like a komodo dragon oh that's what it was not an iguana of course however i don't think that is her whole story while a komodo dragon is methodical and powerful constantly stalking and maneuvering they lack an intensity intensity that I believe is just beneath Christine's surface. Beneath the jovial attitude and laughter, one thing stands out most about Christine. This podcaster does not suffer fools. With each review she reads, there are two

conversations happening at once, and it serves as a thesis on the human condition. There is a conversation on the surface, the one in which we, the audience, have a chuckle or perhaps a giggle over some comical reviews then there is a subtext occurring underneath where alexander's tender timber begs for compassion christine subtly challenges that notion almost saying they don't deserve our compassion oh no i don't think christ i don't

think christine ever gets that far but with each episode she inches closer and closer to condemning these people. No! And it is this dual identity that each Schieffer adapts that makes this podcast, dare I say, sehr evocative. Oh my god. So is she a Komodo dragon? Partly. But I also sense an intensity more akin to a tiger. Well, I don't believe that is all there is to learn about her. For now, she is a Komodo dragon-tiger hybrid.

I give this podcast three Komodo dragons, two Labradoodles, and two dolphins. Trust me, this is high praise. End of review. I... Whew. Oh my.

That was a journey into our souls. Wow. That could have been into our souls. Wow. That could have been an episode all in itself. I need to go. I went to therapy yesterday, but I didn't have this with me yet. I need to go back. Mine was two days ago. See, I think we're both just very sensitive little babes.

I think that I just like to fight you on things. That's why I like to bring us down. Look at J.D j dollar sign bringing us together oh my god thank you j dollar sign thank you j dollar sign i think i feel like i really was rough with j dollar sign the first time well yes but then he emailed in and apologized i felt really bad and then you you were like let me handle this email and you specifically wrote him back so don't worry oh don't worry oh what a little guy no he's doing great what a gem yeah anyway thank you jay dollar sign yeah thank you jay dollar

sign and thank you mrs jay dollar sign for uh supporting such a great supporter of us is there who said mrs you mentioned his wife oh in the in this one oh sorry i just remember from the email i didn't remember from the review yeah thank you to you both thanks guys oh wow that was good okay yeah oh yeah i need to recover but it was weird and nice yeah you want to give us our uh theme for next week so this week's theme is hardware stores in Nashville. Have we done Nashville? We have not. Okay, phew.

I did a review in Nashville where that person, like the barbecue one. Vegan barbecue. Have we done Memphis? Is that what we did? No. Oh, that's where that was. Sorry. Oh.

Sorry, everyone. I'm mixing them up. But we have not done Nashville. No, we haven't done a Tennessee one. Oh, perfect. Okay. That's fantastic. Okay, hardware stores in Nashville, Tennessee.

Okay. I love that. Phew. Okay, that's going to, Tennessee. I love that. Phew. Okay, that's going to be good. I like that. I was going to do makeup stores in Salt Lake City because a lot of MLMs. Oh, yeah, that'd be good. That's going to remind me that we already did Salt Lake, but that would have been funny

just because a lot of MLMs are from Utah. Anyway, so hardware stores in Nashville. Okay. Cool. What's my challenge? Your challenge. I'm afraid. No, don't Nashville. Okay. Cool. What's my challenge? Your challenge. I'm afraid. No, don't be.

Okay. Is a review of a McDonald's that mentions sex. Oh, no. I'm putting you through something here. Yuck. What if I found a McDonald's in Essex? Nope. Nope.

Doesn't count. Damn it. Okay. McDonald's. Okay. Because I was talking to Allie about this and I was like, she knew how hard that last one was. So she was like, just do a gross one. Just do whatever. Like don't even, if you can't come up with a really hard one, just do one that's like just.

That makes me really uncomfortable? Yeah. So that's why I gave you this one. I'm ready for it. Thank you. Great. Oh, guys. Thank you so much for listening, everyone. What a time. What a sweaty time. Oh, it's been sweaty. It's been moist here.

It's been moist. Moist. Moist. Moist. See you guys next week. Bye. Bye.