Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 150: Reviews of Halloween Movies
Episode Date: October 13, 2021Christine is one step closer to her final form: White Mist. Get your Warning: Contains Sexy Stuff merch here: https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Support us on Patreon at... patreon.com/beachtoosandy! Listen to Alex's newest podcast, Human Seeking Human: https://linktr.ee/humanseekingpod Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Welcome to Beach to Sandy, Water to Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast,
but I'd give it zero stars if I could.
Hello and welcome.
This is Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet.
Sinner, stop talking, there's a ghost in my house.
You didn't hear that?
No, that scream that you just, I mean that someone, an apparition did?
No, I screamed because I heard a scary noise.
That was me talking.
Oh, that explains everything.
God damn it.
Our improv skills have gone down the toilet since we left LA.
Were they ever good?
They were never out of the toilet.
That's fair.
Welcome, Sandy.
You did improv in an old cellular store.
I did improv?
That's right.
In a strip mall.
How fun was that?
Granted, it was a pretty cool place and a lot of great improv people were there.
I'm not actually, it was my favorite place to go.
It was like, Em saw me do improv there.
The clubhouse?
Yeah!
Is that what it was?
It was next to the Rite Aid in an abandoned Verizon store.
Yeah, it was some sort of cellular wireless store.
Oh my god, how funny! I remember Lisa and Em saw me there once.
I was so nervous.
Welcome to our show where we are not in a cellular store, but we are somewhere a little
nicer.
Scarier.
Your home.
My home.
And this week, Zannie, what is our theme?
Our theme is Halloween movies.
How did this go for you?
It went okay.
How did it go for you? Well, guess where I just lived?
I know. I figured. I just purposefully didn't go there
because I knew you'd be there. I figured I would ruin that for you because I went to every single movie.
I purposefully did not go on Common Sense Media
because in my head I knew that's where you would be. I do appreciate that.
You would be making your rounds. I couldn't sleep last night as is my new pregnancy uh you know tradition so at like
three in the morning i was just researching like barney halloween and all this stuff i was in bed
laughing so hard poor boys was sleeping and i was like this is my job is so weird i was like our
johnny halloween i went a very different route i went like more
scary scary ones i went some mostly mostly barney halloween direction so we're gonna bring a mixture
to the table um i have a little one to start with oh fantastic it's probably the worst of the bunch
that we'll get today it's the kind we don't like but i wanted to include a little little little taste let's do this is a review of the
movie saw oh oh have you seen saw uh no do i look like i've seen saw by the way everybody uh
in terms of spoilers and whatnot i was on imdb the entire time and i purposefully didn't pick
any reviews that quote unquote contain spoilers according to imdb so you can mark your review as containing
spoilers and then it's hidden i did not select any of those however there might still be some
spoilers in here i don't know i do want to say if you are hoping that i don't spoil mickey mouse
clubhouse mickey's monster musical i can't promise that for you i wasn't as generous and kind as
i just kind of read whatever i wanted so if you're seeking no that for you. I wasn't as generous and kind as Alex Lehner. I just kind of read whatever I wanted.
So if you're seeking no spoilers for, you know, some fun Halloween baby movies, well,
sorry in advance.
And also, I haven't seen most of the movies I brought to the table anyway.
I haven't seen Saw, have you?
I have seen Saw.
That's just something I can't do.
I see Saw all the time.
Is that an existing joke or did you just make that up um no in the office i thought i think ryan asked oh dwight dwight says most most and
i see saw all the time that's right of course i've seen of course i've seesawed because he
says have you seen saw and he's like of course i've seen saw in what world would that
ever come up naturally and yet it just did well that was beautiful thank you thank you like i
wasn't thinking that would happen bravo bravo thank you to uh the office writers for making
me funnier than i am i have not seen the film anyway i have i have seen the almost the entire
franchise really you know why because some friends and i, D, O, P, Chris and I, I think.
The four of us?
Very recently, we just watched a bunch of them.
I'm not going to do that.
Nobody asked me to, but I'm not going to do it.
Yeah.
They were doing it without me, and then I snuck my way in.
I can't even watch.
I'm just such a big baby.
Maybe that was final.
There was a weird scary movie
like Time recently.
I watched Exorcism of Emily Rose,
The Ring,
and what's that other one?
Paranormal Activity.
There are so many scary movies.
I've never recovered
from those three.
Those are the three scary movies
I've seen.
Okay.
Never recovered.
Hereditary is the one
that I still haven't recovered from,
but it also made me
appreciate scary movies more
So now I want to watch more of them
And I have been watching more of them
What was that one I watched with you and Em and you fell asleep?
Oh my god I was scared shitless
I slept through the whole thing
Yeah I screamed and you two were sleeping
I took sleeping medication
I was so mad
Anyway this is a one star out of ten
So these are out of ten
One star review of 10 so these are out of 10 uh one star review of
saw left confused confusing title i thought this was about a lumberjack boy was i wrong
end of review i thought i thought it was gonna be like some horrible racist thing when you said
it's one of the ones we hate no we'd rather have we'd rather
have racism in the world than no that's not what i meant i meant just like the kind that how do
people find you just roll your eyes and think my god you're such you know what and you leave a one
star review and for what you know what is sad is there was one i almost picked and i realized it
was fake and he was of hotel transylvania 3 and i was like why are you wasted like it's one
thing to go on imdb and write salt but like you're on common sense media with a fake account rating
hotel transylvania 3 yeah what a weird thing to be doing with your time yeah um so you know what
and i will say just some facts about this actually yeah so this was a review from 2019
many of the reviews i read were like time appropriate for the movie coming out.
So there are movies from like 1999 that had reviews from 1999.
No.
The early days.
And IMDB used to, based on a review that I read, used to have a 10 line minimum.
Oh, so you had to write a review.
So you had to really give a review review.
So that was unfortunate for me because so many of
them were actually of quality they were they might have been one started a little dramatic
because they're paying for the internet their dialects they're paying every second counts
they have only so much time to get this review out um but yeah so a lot of these reviews were
really early so this really goofy one was from 2019, even though the movie came out in 2004.
If only people back then knew what a waste.
Their review would be covered up by this nonsense someday, decades later.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, I have a review here.
This is a kid's review of Barney Halloween Party.
It only has one review, and it's by a child.
Did you think about how I would feel about spoilers?
You didn't tell me to watch these ahead of time.
I'm a little upset.
I know how you feel about spoilers
and I'm about to ruin your day.
Actually, Alexander's already ruined our day
because he walked up to my side porch
and dropped both of our Dunkin' Donuts on the ground.
We did not get two singular donuts that I dropped.
Our Dunkin' like order.
Our Dunkin' order.
You said our Dunkin' Donuts on the ground.
They rolled down the hill. No no he dropped both of our beverages and i heard like a oh crap and i was
like that that's not good um and we had to hose down the porch so you know what oxen this is your
this is my revenge i might have also broken your hose to be determined maybe xander also broke the
hose but that's to be determined we can blame the construction folks next door who are also borrowing our hose.
To be fair, you did that.
And then I said, oh, no, that was probably me.
You were like, actually, I just hurled it at the concrete.
I threw it at that point.
And that point hit the wall.
And now that handle is missing.
And now the water is spraying ungodly amounts all over.
Okay.
This is a review of Barney halloween party um i think
baby this is a spoiler so i apologize i'll plug my ears i won't listen you're not gonna listen
okay this is written by teen 15 years old who says this movie is appropriate for ages 18 plus
oh my god i was about to say okay this teen is gonna rip on this baby movie. No. That's not what I expected.
The title of the review is sexy.
Christina.
I'm so sorry.
Oh, no.
You're living for this theme.
I am.
It's terrible.
The review goes as follows.
This is crazy what Barney thinks is acceptable.
Viewer discretion is advised.
Wait, it's like Barney, the executive producer.
Barney, how'd you let this through who signed off on this the big purple man himself this title contains sexy stuff okay
that's all that's it that's the review that's hilarious i had to start with a with a sexy
barney halloween party i didn't christina we should always start with a sexy barney halloween party i didn't christina we should always start with the sexy barney halloween party i didn't know what else to do i just i i found this review i was like this is so stupid
and i was like i'm just gonna start with it much like you were like probably this is so stupid i'm
gonna start with it yeah that's exactly what i thought it's a similar sentiment does barney
barney doesn't wear pants right barney doesn't wear anything question mark oh does he wear not
where is he not winnie the pooing i don't think he's winning, does he not wear... Is he not Winnie the Pooh-ing?
I don't think he's Winnie the Pooh-ing.
Yeah, he's not, is he?
I think he's naked.
He's complete...
No wonder.
No wonder.
No wonder that strong, long tail.
He got his costume from the sexy adult section at Party City.
Oh, nice.
You know.
I've got to pick me up one of those.
Uh-huh.
Okay, my next one.
This is of Hocus Pocus.
Oh.
One out of ten.
This is reviews from July 2002.
Pants.
How can anyone watch this film and remain awake?
I'd rather swim with the great white.
It makes Ed the Duck look like a masterpiece.
Condemn this film to its grave.
End of review. Okay. That was and a review okay spooky review a lot
happening here pants i don't know i've never seen hocus pocus so i just included that in case that
was something that made fans of the movie i've seen it once way too late in my life um i still
don't remember any pants reference that's the name of
the title of the review so it's is pants p-a-n-t-s maybe that's a thing that i just don't remember
maybe this person like like while panting oh god oh it's like a cool cruiser lingo yeah yeah
how can anyone watch this film and remain awake like that so they're swimming with the great
white as they write it.
True.
I would rather...
Okay, there's a lot, but...
Yeah, that was a weird turn.
And then Ed the Duck.
This review is very dated.
It's a really shitty movie.
Is it like a YouTube video?
Or is it like an actual film?
No, it's a film.
I'm pretty sure.
Isn't it...
Hold on.
Isn't it, I say?
Isn't it? As you don't know it, I say? Isn't it?
Because you don't know what's going on?
No fucking idea.
Oh, I don't know who.
Oh, I'm thinking Howard the Duck.
Who's Ed the Duck?
I don't know, Alexander.
That's why I'm so confused.
I've never seen Howard the Duck, and it shows.
Ed the Duck.
Ed the Duck.
I typed in Ed the Duck.
Oh, Ed the Duck with two Ds is a puppet duck which appeared on the cbbc interst what is that word interstitial
yeah interstitial wow program the boom cupboard whoa okay um it's a canadian thing ah that
explains it so i don't know if that's what they're they spelled it wrong because ed they
spelled ed with one d but ed actually ed the duck has two d's so they'd rather is that what they were they spelled it wrong because ed they spelled ed with one d but ed
actually ed the duck has two d's so they'd rather is that what they said they'd rather watch ed the
duck they said it makes ed the duck look like a masterpiece the thing is ed the duck is just a
character the duck is already a masterpiece so it's very confusing yeah i mean it sounds like
a witch hunt at the end there condemn this movie it's a witch hunt it sounds a little bit like they're in on it yeah ed the duck does in fact wear pants by the way oh that is a very good
based on what i'm seeing here astute assessment um thank you for checking i'm glad that we're
learning what of all these cartoons wears which of these cartoon characters wear clothing it's
really important um okay so i have something for you now.
It's called Mickey Mouse Clubhouse Mickey's Monster Musical.
And this is a three-star review by Teen, 15 years old.
The title is, Minnie is a player.
You don't have to tell me, kid.
Count Mikula keeps hitting on Minnie in front of Mickey and Minnie is into it.
Count Mikula, what a Chad, though.
Oh, yeah.
How can you resist?
Mickey either interrupts or sits there awkwardly.
Minnie is either a player.
What a beta.
What a little beta male.
He's third wheeling it.
Sad Mickey.
Such a cucked beta male.
He doesn't have a title.
He's no count.
What does he expect?
Sorry.
Mickey either interrupts or sits there awkwardly.
Minnie is either a player or she is fine with being treated as an object, being fought over and stuff.
Personally, I believe you can't steal a girl
she either doesn't want you or she wants you less than him however if neither of these are the case
she's being treated like an object note mickey is obviously uncomfortable in this while mini is not
end of review i'm so confused i selected the following this review read my mind oh i love it uh i'm sorry for what i became during that yeah you became
something less than pleasant it was you became a reddit user that i wanted to block um anyway
that is i don't know i didn't know how else to respond but go deep into it i um
minnie's being used as an object by count micula but she's into it which i sort of
feels like okay then let her be into it i don't know if she was like resisting it that's one thing
and if if she's uncomfortable okay then stop but it seems like she's kind of like
i don't know i'm into this either three person situation. She likes to flirt. She likes to flirt.
She likes to flirt.
Who doesn't?
And Mickey keeps interrupting.
Yeah.
Mickey.
Yeah.
Come on, Mickey.
Maybe just flirt with her, too.
No, maybe.
Are they together?
So wait.
Hold on.
Are Mickey and Minnie actually together?
I think so.
Aren't they married?
I don't know.
But like in this.
Oh, I don't know.
They're normal in a relationship.
I don't know.
And I also don't know that this child
is fully reading this situation like in the way that it was intended i'm not sure um mickey keeps
interrupting or sitting there awkwardly i say mickey go out and like do your own thing and
show her what she's missing hell yeah mickey yeah um she's either a player or she's fine with being
treated as an object so hot Mickey Summer. Nothing good.
Go crazy, my boy.
Nothing good coming from this.
She either doesn't want you or she wants you less than him.
Whatever that means.
Yeah, I love how they just cut into like, there's no such thing as stealing a girl, which, yeah, okay.
P.S. or no, Mickey is uncomfortable and Minnie is not.
Yeah, I think we got that
pretty quickly um also this was written this year so i'm sort of like wow you so this child
probably still has the same mindset yeah i don't think it was a bad no no i've seen worse from
teenagers exactly on this website like if they had acted like i acted when hearing about this now that would be
a problem we don't need you to be involved we don't need more of that no we don't okay uh my
next one hmm which one to just to choose i'm going to choose orphan oh god have you seen orphan do i
look like i've seen orphan it's a fairly recent one i told you the three movies i've seen i forgot
them already so i'm gonna keep asking This is a one star out of ten.
This movie ruined Christianity.
The movie was really great.
I would have given it the rating of seven, but I hate the scene when it messed up with religion.
Some of its scenes were really harmful, like throwing Bible on floor and many more.
like throwing bible on floor and many more i am a muslim but i also respect bible even more than christians because it is also my holy book and i am amazed to see that my christian fans didn't
even mentioned it and i smell something fishy here i don't know no no i don't you know why
there is no way if this was a christian they never say, I'm a Muslim. No, and they would, yes.
But they would also say that a Muslim respects the Bible more than they do.
Oh, true, true, true, true, true.
They would never say.
Yeah, you're completely right.
Wow, what a strange angle.
This is like standing up for Christianity, but for what?
In the movie Orphan, too.
It's not even like The Nun or something that's like specifically about
christianity i mean i've obviously never seen it i yeah i don't know the other reviews were like
why should i care what happens to this rich family or something like that i i have not seen the movie
so i don't even don't tell me how inaccurate that is but don't tell me how how they pulled
themselves up by their bootstraps so that this orphan worked hard
for what they have i don't uh whoa that's i feel like that's the the reviewer on common sense media
that grew up and never changed the way that they like look at like their strange angle they take
or they still are a child or that um the bible being thrown on the floor in a horror movie being the
like egregious thing i don't know that's the other thing i'm like that's what you took away
like i feel like so many horrifying like non-christian quote-unquote things happen in
horror movies like you know stabbing people in the eye and sawing people's limbs off but like
the bible's the one that's the most horrific.
I don't know.
I mean, I... If that's triggering for you, I guess.
I'm so sorry.
Yeah.
Do you?
With who you want to...
Do you with?
That's exactly right, Odd Center.
Thank you for that.
You're welcome.
Well, I actually went to another adult movie now.
I went to Halloween, the movie.
No, I have not seen it.
Is that Michael Myers or something?
Yes, it is.
I have also not seen any of those movies.
I think I have one from that series.
I feel like that's something I should watch because it's like actually a classic film, you know?
Yeah.
I read a lot of, is that the one with Jamie Lee Curtis?
What's the one? I believe so so yeah i i don't know she plays laurie i think i read so many reviews of
the later of that one the later movies and oh my god people those that fandom y'all it's wild
it's wild oh well do you have any clue how many people put this title contains good role models
too many just a lot why oh no because of lori oh like people were so into the characters
like it's a different angle than most horror movies like it's like people are really into
the characters and the story even once described the plot to me and that sounds like it was
something boring it wasn't i was like please tell me the plot okay and i was like this is actually a really fascinating plot i still
haven't seen it the worst things i've read were the the ones the reviews where jamie lee curtis
was not in them but then when she was back in them they were like oh she was probably they were like
so defensive of her they're like this movie is garbage but like for her contract she probably
had to be in this and i feel so bad for her and i was like well she probably got paid pretty good
i mean she's also in those yogurt commercials like yeah yeah yeah and arp stuff yeah whatever
yeah um okay i have a one-star view by an adult these are from the parents section
and this adult's username is drew, with a three for the E.
And Drew believes that this movie is suited for ages 18 plus.
And the title is Seriously People?
So here we go.
I'm just going to quote a few of the other reviews first.
There is toplessness, but nothing that a kid over the age of 10 hasn't seen.
Halloween is very frightening at times, and it does contain some drug use and sexual content, but nothing a mature seven-year-old
can't handle. Classic horror, my first R-rated horror movie, saw it when I was six. Okay for two
and up. I would continue, but what's the point? Okay, so this is not the Texas Chainsaw Massacre
or Saw. Does that mean you want your your young impressionable children being exposed to this? There are so many studies that show that violence in movies, particularly
sadistic violence like the violence portrayed in horror films like this one, has an awful effect
on young children. So what if they can handle it? I could probably handle having my legs chopped off,
but does that mean I would go do it? And just because your kids have probably seen a woman's breasts before they
turn 10.
And I certainly hadn't seen many breasts when I was 10.
Doesn't mean I'm not surprised.
I say,
as if that's a cool thing to do.
I don't know.
I'm serious.
Like loser,
loser,
nine year old.
He's like busy getting his legs chopped off for fun or whatever.
As if that's that's it's
equivalent yeah yeah the only reason you'd want to go see a horror movie is to i don't know i
don't get it doesn't mean that you should willingly expose them to more breasts i'll
stop now before i get really upset thank god i love when people write like you have no idea
how angry i'm becoming you don't want to see me mad.
I guess I should have known when I was reading reviews
by people who enjoy these kinds of movies
that they would have different views about films.
Just out of curiosity,
how old do you think your kids should be
before they see the Saw movies?
12?
This title contains violence and scariness
and sexy stuff.
They promised they'd shut up
and then they did.
Be like,
I'm going to get real. I'm going to stop before I'm mad. Stop before I get mad. Just kidding. It's too'd shut up and then they did. Be like, I'm going to get real
I'm going to stop
before I get mad.
Just kidding.
It's too late.
I can't stop myself.
And they didn't really
get that mad.
Eight people said
this review read my mind.
Oh.
So,
yikes.
So,
end of review on that.
Um.
Just because you want
to get your legs cut off.
So,
what I'm learning from this is there are boobs in
this movie yeah there's breasts in this movie okay sign me up jamie lee curtis but again why
is that the thing that people get hung up on it's like i don't know well of course kids have seen
boobs they're fucking children that's how they eat when they're babies like what do you mean why is
that the thing that's so traumatizing and then you're like well yeah everyone gets
stabbed to death and a bunch of teenagers are murdered
but there's a boob
in there and I'm gonna go
get my legs chopped off I don't get it
which by the way you said I can handle getting my legs
chopped off I'm like can you
can I I don't think I could love to see you
try buddy yeah yeah
so
yikes
yeah so yikes um yeah so anyway
okay my next one this is of uh coralline i've never seen coralline okay i haven't seen any
of these fucking movies i'm sorry everybody i read the book when I was little. It scared. I remember. It's a Roald Dahl.
Roald Dahl.
Roald Dahl.
I don't think so.
Who wrote Coraline?
Let me look it up.
It's not.
It's Neil Gaiman.
Oh, Neil Gaiman?
Gaiman.
Gaiman?
Is it Gaiman?
Gaiman?
I don't know.
This is embarrassing.
The book.
We're so cultured.
Okay, listen.
I read it as a child you're right i
totally i don't know why what movie am i thinking of that oh i'm thinking uh i know they're different
and i know the differences but no um didn't roll draw doll right um the witches matilda oh yes
that's what i why i said that that's what you're thinking of no i know what coralline is i
know the difference tim burton was the director i believe of coralline sure okay but here's the
thing i read that book when i was little and it scared me so badly that i found a crawl space in
her house at wolper and i put the book in there and then i never took it out jesus so someone's
gonna find that someday or not and it'll just be there forever.
But it scared me because she had to sew buttons.
Her new parents sewed buttons on her eyes.
Like, what the fuck?
It was terrifying. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, I hear it's creepy.
Well, you would agree with these reviewers that I found.
So here's one.
This is a one star out of 10 of Coraline.
Definitely not a movie for kids.
This is the most deeply disturbing movie I have ever seen.
And I have often put on The Shining or The X-Files to go to sleep at night.
Oh, boy.
I wanted to turn it off, but my 14-year-old nephew objected,
fearing that it would definitely give us nightmares
if we didn't see how it was resolved.
End of review.
Wait, that's genius.
Yeah, right.
I'm sorry, Auntie.
I can't.
You can't turn it off or I'll never sleep again.
Wow, what a threat.
And I'm telling mom all about this.
I'm telling mom that you gave me nightmares.
I mean, I guess it makes sense to finish the movie because it probably ends on a happy note.
I mean, I guess it makes sense to finish the movie because it probably ends on a happy note.
I have no idea because I haven't seen it and I didn't read any reviews with spoilers.
You didn't even read them?
No, of course not. I mean, I guess if you're not going to use them, why read them?
But I would see the movie.
It really, the book really scared me, but I feel like books can sometimes be scarier than the movie anyway.
So I guess I'd watch it.
You know what I say.
I think real life is the scariest of all.
You know what I say.
I could probably handle getting my legs chopped off.
So for what it's worth.
I've seen at least one pair of boobies before I turn 10.
Losers.
No way.
No way.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
Update.
We got new beverages. And just talked for like 30 minutes yeah and then almost forgot to actually record we did not we would never had no idea where we
were we just lost track of life and time and everything but we're back. So I have another review here of Halloween.
And we're talking about boobs again.
I'm sorry.
Don't be sorry.
I could talk about boobs all day.
I've been seeing them since I was nine years old.
If you talk about that one more time. That is like the last thing you said an hour ago when we stopped recording.
And now you're starting the next recording.
It sounds seamless to everyone else.
It doesn't sound seamless because you're just repeating the same thing that you said apparently 30 seconds ago but yes uh so this is a review by
kid 12 years old i can't wait to hear what this 12 year old kid has to say about boobs well this
12 year old kid with no username believes that this movie is appropriate for ages 18 plus
and it's a three-star review
i would not argue with that without knowing that same like i wouldn't watch it i'm scared
to watch it now i'm 30 so the title is inappropriate first kill
the rest were great the first one just that one needs to go
the first kill michael did is when his sister was bare-breasted end of review
what he killed his own bare-breasted sister this title contains sexy stuff so so basically the
first kill was inappropriate not because it was a kill because because her boob was out or was it
because it was his sister's boobs it's's true. Which is also bad. Both.
Egregious, Michael.
How dare you?
It's also spelled my chill, but that's beside the point.
But yeah, I just love that this movie would have been great.
It's just the slight nudity really just ruined it.
Ruined that stabbing for me.
The stabbing would have been so much more appropriate. So much appropriate if she just had a little a little cover-up on yikes it's so sad it's letting
this kid watch this movie anyway i don't understand i can't get over that they're all so hung up on
seeing a boob that like the stabbing part is just not relevant it like blows my mind whatever i yeah
no i don't i don't absolutely my mind i really i hope we can
contain sexy stuff but not violence like why would you select sexy stuff but not violence
as someone who played really violent video games growing up like totally when i was that age if i
saw some boob no i mean i did i just saw a lot of them but every time i saw all those lots of boobs
um it would still be like oh my god i guess
it's true like it just it's a big deal more shocking yeah which is which it shouldn't be
no it's absolutely disturbing and it shouldn't be that way we should show boobs to everybody
all the time everyone should be looking at boobs from age nine onward like i was desensitized to
violence and not to boobs which is really not not okay. That's the exact issue.
It should be the opposite.
We shouldn't put so much value.
Okay.
There's so much stress on nudity.
It's just so silly.
So much negative value.
That's what I mean.
Making it such a big deal.
Right.
Nudity.
Whatever.
But violence, we should probably be like, yeah.
Maybe don't stab people, whether they have their boobs out or not you know yeah it's just my my
hot take that was pretty controversial i know but it's as hot as boobies in halloween yeah um
very inappropriate no man if i do say so myself i've got another one of coralline this is two stars out of
ten not for children this movie is way too intense and horror-like for any child it's exactly like an
adult horror only animated i have no idea how this film managed to be allowed to be classed as a
children's movie it's end to end
chilling with spirits ghosts and demons jumping out every few minutes not to mention the gothic
witch demon the dark spiritual vibe going on throughout will only frighten the life out of
your kids it's way too dark to be a kid's movie i'm shocked it's borderline abuse letting your
kids watch this horror if you're gonna let
them watch this you might as well follow on with the exorcist then maybe nightmare on elm street
maybe this is one of those indoctrination movies designed to fuck up kids heads like mk ultra or
something haha or maybe i should just put on my tinfoil hat top hat emoji end of review whoa it got weird why did
you just not stop not you the the reviewer like just tone it down halfway through i mean it it
seemed like a pretty normal review from like a parent but like okay but it got weird maybe this
is mk ultra haha maybe the government is okay wait wait wait wait wait what
it's like first of all i feel like coralline isn't the same as the x or c i'm sorry i also
don't think it's the same as mk ultra and i but well that's where we differ maybe another story
that's where we differ that's where we differ've put my tinfoil top hat on real quick
um yeah it's not the same i'm sorry i an animated film alone is already less scary than a fucking
exorcist movie yeah i don't know it's a stupid argument um does this person have children did
they say um they say my kids or anything like that actually no because they said they were complaining about it's not for any child i just wonder i wonder if they're just they just hated it and so now
they turn it into children shouldn't watch it because i'm so scared they said it's borderline
abuse to let your children watch it so i don't think they would tell on themselves that way
and say my child watched yeah so they must not have a child that watched this they must have watched it and been like wow if my parents showed me this i'd be calling 241
kids i don't know there are movies that i remember watching at a young age that really kind of messed
me up a little bit but they weren't the tradition i don't know i mean you know which one got me good
which one uh a perfect storm oh yeah that one fucked me up
too that was really all of those movies where people like died that's really vague but like
the perfect storm scared the shit out of me yeah we also watched it during a literal storm real
unlike the horror a lot of the horror movies like coralline at least you know it's scary and spooky
but you can at least kind of um yeah you can yeah well in a perfect storm
we watched on vhs considered a cartoon in maryland wow what's what's is it considered
it might be like because it's it's stop motion stop motion yeah the clay it's animated it's
animated yeah animated yeah yeah um but perfect sorry i used to work at nickelodeon did you
that must be cool what a cool job yeah yeah
i bet everyone thinks you're so cool no uh we watched perfect storm in maryland on vhs during
a really intense thunderstorm and our house was on the water and i remember we were taking sailing
lessons and i was like this is not good for me and my exactly how i remember it scared the hell
out this is the first time where you set a memory where i'm like yeah that's actually 100 not like not exaggerated you're not missing something it's wow christine
didn't exaggerate for the first time in her life i'm just incredible no i feel i feel good that we
just have that same terrible moment well especially of maryland we barely have the same memories of
maryland they're usually it's me and max billion you'll have something like that didn't happen christina that's often what i say that's usually and then the other movie is a million dollar baby
also not like a scare i mean it's just one of those scenes that really got you yeah and then
you're like how the fuck did our dad think it was a good idea to bring us to the movies to watch this
yeah well what year did that come out we were probably just really sensitive it was a good idea to bring us to the movies to watch this. Yeah. Well, what year did that come out? We were probably just really sensitive.
It was like two years ago.
I feel like we weren't that little.
It came out in 2004.
So I was 11.
I was 11. You watched it in theaters.
I watched it in theaters.
You were too little. I'm sorry.
Why did our father think that was a good idea?
I was shocked. I was crying
so much.
Holy 11.
I like these people who are like, I'm eight and I love watching Saw.
And I'm like, I can't even watch.
I don't understand the youth.
The youths are just really tougher than me.
Yeah, that fucked me up real good.
It's a great movie, I think.
I mean, I haven't seen it since i was 11 but no that's not true i
think i re-watched it but it took me a long time i certainly did not re-watch it but i remember the
exact scene where we all went okay this is not good um all right i have a review of casper the
friendly ghost oh wait thank goodness that's the other one that fucked me up not the like
1990 whatever version to like 1940 something short animation where like he's like all these ghosts are like smoking and hanging out and drinking.
And he's like, no, no, I'm telling you.
And he's like, I'm going to go make a friend.
And then he makes a friend.
Yeah.
I don't remember.
You don't.
Can I tell you?
Spoiler alert.
Sure.
He makes a friend with a little fox in the fox.
Yeah.
The animal. Okay. Oh, I don't remember the fox getting shot. And he cries and he cries and he cries. sure he makes a friend with a little fox and the fox yeah the
animal okay oh i don't remember the fox getting shot and he cries and he cries and he cries at
his grave i know but it was like so upsetting that he like held the fox as it died yeah yeah
that one really fucked me up i'm sorry dumbo you know yikes what yeah i found a gif of the
of casper holding the dead fox and he's like sobbing yes
that is really disturbing i remember it so vividly it's horrible the articles this vintage casper
cartoon will destroy your soul well it did thank you for for letting me know it did when i was like
five or whatever yeah okay yikes anyway sorry this is not of that this is of the one from like 1999 or
whatever which i never saw is that the one it's also animated but like or is it no no it's not
it he's animated live action but then they have okay yeah yeah so this is by teen 14 years old
now this is kind of a dramatic review the title is through rose tinted glasses
14 year old okay what could that possibly mean in the context of a casper movie review well
this is a three-star view and this 14 year old believes the movie should be for ages eight plus
okay okay
and the title actually i forgot an article it says through the rose tinted glasses dot dot dot
and here's the review while i remember this movie fondly when i was younger i've come to discover
more and more of the flaws as time goes by my rose tinted nostalgia glasses have almost shattered here. While the movie is pretty dull,
kids will probably enjoy it.
The score is just stunning
and one wordless dance sequence
almost was able to pull me in.
What?
I guess they
dance together. Was it that sexy or something?
She and the ghost.
Wendy and the ghost.
People tell me I expect too much from kids flicks
maybe i do but this movie is probably best for the tweens and it won't be for everybody else
end of review wow you're right people people always tell me i expect too much from kids flick
who tells you that what are you talking about i have
no idea who are you talking to that tells you that this has like the weirdest freaking cast though
this is a casper 1995 yep that's the one okay first of all bill pullman who i had seen a lot
in things like independent stay and whatever but um i've been watching him in the center have you
seen the center he plays like the main detective in the center and so it's so funny seeing yeah i think she's in season one i've
only seen it's like it's like each season is a new case but it's the same detective
okay um so anyway uh bill polman's in it uh christina ricci um and then i'm looking like
eric idol from like monty Python is in it.
I don't know who these people are.
I know Christina Ricci.
You would recognize Eric Idle.
Ben Stein is in it.
I mean, he just shows up in random movies all the time.
And like Mr. Rogers is in it.
And Brad Garrett is the voice of Falso, Fatso or something.
Falso.
Alexander, one wordless dance sequence almost so weird is there wait is there even a wendy is her name not wendy i thought it was
i'm looking i don't see a wendy i see christina ricci played cat oh maybe that was kathy moriarty
played kerrigan i don't know who these people are. What's in her? Tell me. Talk to me.
Maybe once you watch it, you'll remember the scene where Ben Stein is in a wordless dance
sequence.
Please tell me it's not Ben Stein.
Mr. Rogers or something.
Mr. Rogers?
I said that.
He's in this.
Wait, what?
Yeah.
So is Brad Garrett.
That's what I said.
I wasn't listening.
He plays Falso, remember?
Falso, that's right. How could I forget? Okay. garrett that's what i said he plays falso remember so that's right how can i forget okay um anyway that's all your turn nobody cares no one cares we're reading an imdb article
this next one is scream four of scream four this is a one star out of ten screaming to leave oh
good one just watched scream four after reading all these awesome reviews on imdb
i am a huge movie fan i own over 400 dvds and 100 blu-rays how are you feeling now in 2021
that you own 400 dvds how are those treating you oh my god um although i do want the director's cut of... Mickey Mouse Clubhouse?
Yes.
No, no, no.
Barney's sexy Halloween.
Oh, that's only on the underground.
Like, you need a bootleg copy of that.
No.
Hereditary.
Not hereditary, but the Swedish one.
The Swedish hereditary.
The one where they went to Midsummer yeah called midsummer thank you
why do you want that on dvd well i want to see the director's cut i haven't seen the long version
we almost went to that yeah i know i had tickets and didn't use them because of so i don't know
something came up don't remember um but was gonna go to that and i didn't see it so that's another
movie i saw the way to yeah you did see that i saw get out too and uh the other one the other one this is us or whatever yeah that one was good no this is us
this is is it just us it's us yeah with the scissors the scissor one uh that was scary
i watched on the play it was spooky one anyway but they only sell it on dvd right now i don't
think you can get it digitally anywhere well i don't even have a dvd player exactly and i don't have i i want i kind of want a playstation 5 just so i can have play blu-rays
i own a copy of uh blade runner the sequel the one that came out more recently obviously that's
what a sequel is um on blu-ray but i've never been able to watch well um that's too bad maybe i'm sorry for this man or person who from 2011 who
had all these 500 dvds this review is from 2011 by the way here we go i'm a huge movie fan and
was ready for a good west craven remake this movie was terrible the only part besides the
last 10 minutes that was even remotely jumpy was when a guy
turns around and bumps his head on a plant.
That's something I do on a daily basis.
Oh, God.
That's pretty.
It is traumatic.
Pretty jumpy.
Yeah.
It was so boring.
I wanted to leave after 30 minutes, but there was no way I could leave because movies are
like 10 bucks now.
The acting wasn't
that impressive constantly throughout the whole movie i was saying you are slur to the actors
yeah to the actors because they seem to lack common sense if you read this please i'm telling
you wait till it comes on tnn or something three years from now and watch it the fuck is t i have no idea
i don't think that's the thing there's t or classic movies tcm tnt maybe tnn is just this
underground theater theater news network this guy's cooler than i am or wait till it comes to
dvd for all the movie people that collect the series i would rather walk around with
crap in my pants all day than watch this movie again if you read this and still go see the movie
i told you so end of review wow i really do feel like people it tells it says a lot about a person
what they would rather do or what they say they would rather do swim with a great way
rather walk around with crap in your pants what Why was that the thing that went into your mind?
I guess.
Because they've done it.
So they know.
Like that was a bad day.
They can put that on their little chart.
They have a ranking.
Yeah, that's fair.
Wow.
Wow.
Screaming to leave.
Clever.
But not referenced again.
I thought that was going to be a callback.
But lo and behold even this fourth 12 year old or what a 14 year old brought back rose colored
true nostalgia glasses yeah okay let's see what i have for you i'm like really upset now about
casper and that fox i can't stop thinking about it. Look at that kitty over there. I'm upset now. Does that make you feel better?
All right.
You brought it up. I know I did because...
I know I did.
Just leave it at that.
End of sentence.
This is a review of The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad.
That, Christina, that was on some of these Halloween must-watch movies movies like lists sorry on imdb i'm like what
the fuck is that and i skipped it i didn't read the reviews i think i've seen it it's like the
headless horseman and mr toad the crossover of the century are you shitting me is it really like
that mr toad there's no way i think so like frog and toad Toad? There's no way. I think so. Like Frog and Toad?
Or is that a different thing?
No, that's a different thing.
Oh, I'm thinking Frog and Toad.
What's Mr. Toad?
That would be good.
Mr. Toad was like a different cartoon.
Oh my God, I'm having a contraction.
You just sent me into a fucking...
Oh my God.
Mr. Toad is like a separate thing here.
Legit.
Mr. Toad's wild ride.
He like...
He doesn't kind of...
That doesn't help me at all.
He kind of looks like Frog and Toad, but it's not Frog and Toad.
What?
That's not Frog and Toad?
I don't think so.
No.
Toad, I think from Frog and Toad is a little bit taller.
He's taller.
He's taller.
But they wear the same amount of corduroy, it looks like.
Well, he is a toad.
I think that's kind of.
Oh, my God. Look at this. It's just a toad thing. It's a toad i think that's kind of oh my god look at this one that's just
a toad thing it's a toad thing wait what how is this a thing that i just don't know oh my god
uggs in her so you know esquire yeah of course where i used to work sort of but the magazine
yes they have an article called unlikely style icons mr toad which I love. Yeah, okay, I see it now.
Disney's Mr. Toad is like a specific.
Oh, I see.
I'm looking at it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw that.
That's the one that got me.
Interesting.
And so there's an adventures of Ichabod Crane and Mr. Toad that kind of Disney crossover,
essentially, which, by the way, most people said was not a Halloween movie.
Oh, my God.
Matt Lucas in the 2006 Wind in the Willows film. essentially which by the way most people said was not a halloween movie oh my god matt lucas
in the 2006 wind in the willows film yeah that wind in the willows is the is the one that he's
in that's matt lucas played mr toad and i know matt lucas you know him not personally um yeah he
he uh wasn't he on great british baking show yeah he's one of the co-hosts like the i don't know if
he's like one of the we are not movie people i don't know why this entire voice inomio and juliet
obviously i don't know why this entire episode has turned into like us discussing movies i think
he was known especially for his like performance in les mis on stage like Really? Yeah. He's also in Bridesmaids as the brother.
Yes.
Of Rebel Wilson, I think.
Anyway,
let's talk about The Adventures of Ichabod
and Mr. King. I can't wait. I would love to.
It was also on a list on Common Sense Media
of scary but not too scary
movies for kids.
A lot of people said this is not a Halloween movie.
But in a gatekeeping way right or what or it is like what do you mean are they saying like oh like this
doesn't deserve to be called a halloween movie it's not halloweeny enough i think it was more
just like why does everyone say this is a halloween movie i rented it and it didn't like add to my
halloween what's like die hard being a christmas movie yeah yeah yeah yeah it's like an argument like that yeah except for lower stakes i think that yeah much lower stakes
no offense to this no offense mr toad and your beautiful gingham style okay so a 15 year old
teen said this is a 10 and up movie and rated it four stars watched it when i was five my parents scared
me after it by sending me outside then when i came back inside when it was dark they got an
orange pumpkin head and scared me now every halloween i have been scared stiff and i am 15
i started to get over it at age 10 but still
it depends on the type of parent you are if you're the whole type of boo during saw you probably
don't want to show your kids this title contains violence and scariness i do not understand the
type what this child thinks different types of parents are well if you're the boo type during saw yeah he said his
parents set him outside after watching the movie and then put a big pumpkin head on and like
sounds like our old neighbors which the ones i'm not saying their name like the
because i didn't want to bring their family yeah oh it sounds like exactly what michael would do
oh yes like something they would do i was like did they wear pumpkin heads what are you talking about no no like a jump scare type thing yeah i just
didn't want to like bring names into it but i guess i don't know carl the one who actually did
break oh yeah well yeah that is carl but as far as i did carl have offspring no good he he used us
as that because he wouldn't exactly yeah scratch on our windows but michael had offspring and
probably did that stuff did things like this i see yeah so basically um i love that
they sent the child outside and then didn't let him back in until it was dark yep that sounds
a big i'm not already i feel like it's happened in our childhood when we'd go over there it's
really familiar isn't it yeah um so i love that also he started to get over at age 10, but he's 15 and it's still troubling him, which is like, oh, God, either your parents are really sadistic or like they did not know what they were doing to you.
No, it's been five years.
And Mr. Toad, the Halloween movie of Mr. Toad is still so traumatic for you.
Every Halloween, he's scared stiff and he's 15.
And wow, he probably I mean, try living that life.
It's awful.
Sounds rough.
Sounds really rough.
But I would be a baby about this too.
Like I'd be like this kid.
Like I can see myself.
I mean, we're still over here whining.
I'm whining about like the Casper animated short.
Yeah, true, true.
We whine about a lot.
We do whine a lot.
And I'm not even 15, so.
Good to know. believe it or not
um i have one more okay only this is of the sixth sixth sense i love when you say that i hate it
this is a review from may of 2000 no spoilers you said 2000 even though we've spoiled this
on the show before yeah i was gonna say haven't we like
spoiled this before but i don't think this one has a spoiler we'll see the most overrated movie
ever the sixth sense the film must be talking about is the sense to sniff out a terrible movie
i have that sense it's hard to believe how big this crap fest has gotten how many people it has fooled baffles me
i can't believe anyone bought that ending and that there were a bunch of you fruits that actually
cried but i don't blame you you were hypnotized someday you may snap out of it end of review whoa
no spoilers but um and even yeah spoiling that movie wouldn't make this make any more sense wow
this person really has a high and mighty view of themselves oh clearly wow you sad little sheeple
you're getting hypnotized by the media i gotta say there was something about these sixth sense
reviews though because they were all like a lot of them were from late like 1999 because i think
that's when the movie came out or 2000 and all the one-star reviews were like like this is just hollywood bullshit
like i get i knew the the twist right at the beginning blah blah blah and they were just so
like how can people how can anyone think this is actually good and worthy of any award some shit
and it was like they were complaining it was so funny because it was at the time so they were
saying if this gets nominated for any awards, that'd be ridiculous.
And then there'd be one that said, I can't believe this got nominated for awards.
The timeline of events of these people's downfall.
I love how insulting and also just fucking rude of like, it's not your fault.
You're just too dumb to know that this is a terrible
movie it got nominated for six oscars by the way and yeah so people were saying this better not
get nominated for any oscars then it got nominated for six but it didn't win anything but um
the best maybe this wasn't the best but um someone was like saying that um michael cain should be in
like was probably insulted to be nominated alongside hayley joel osment as best actor in
a supporting role because he's like this kid can't act or whatever like michael cain must have been
so insulted sir michael cain ended up uh winning. Leave Sir Michael Caine out of this
and your rude comments
and your dial-up internet.
You rude 1999 people.
He won for
The Cider House Rules.
Oh, I never saw that.
Neither did I.
I like The Sixth Sense.
Sorry.
But the other movies
that year for...
This is just a supporting actor.
Jude Law.
You've seen him.
I've seen him all the time.
I know, it's creepy.
For The Talented Mr. Ripley. And for... Michael Clark Duncan for The Green Mile. He was in Sixth Sense too. And Tom Cruise actor jude law you've seen him i've seen him all the time i know it's creepy for the talented mr
ripley uh michael clark duncan for the green mile and tom cruise for magnolia stop it he was in
stop saying all of these people
voiced by jude law
all right well instead of just reading more nominees for 1999 oscars i'm gonna read the
next review this is the weirdest episode i feel like we're getting derailed every time we read All right. Well, instead of just reading more nominees for 1999 Oscars, I'm going to read the next
review.
This is the weirdest episode.
I feel like we're getting derailed every time we read a review, which we're not like movie
buffs.
I don't know why this is happening.
I think that's why it's getting derailed.
That might be precisely why.
I feel like movie buffs can stick to specific films, but we have to jump around because
we don't know anything.
We know nothing.
So we pick at the little things we know.'s a fair point and run with it and then try to tell each other
about them which is like not interesting to anybody else all right this is a review of a
movie called the little ghost as if i've never seen it well have you i'm a movie buff christina
i think you would have remembered it the little ghost it's weird i think it's jude law it's jude law and
tim allen i think barney's in it too sexy very sexy um so i am just gonna read because i don't
want to spoil it i mean i will spoil it don't get me wrong but i want this reviewer to spoil it
i'm gonna read one review and it kind of gave me a big question mark. And then the second review,
I'm going to read kind of answer some questions.
All right.
Yep.
So this review is written by an adult named Batman,
the realist.
Okay.
Okay.
I already,
if you call yourself a realist,
I'm and it is realist like IST,
not like the realist.
Oh yeah.
Oh,
I assume a realist,
which that's all right
it very much is especially when you're someone who writes reviews about like children's movies
yeah so this is a three-star view this adult believes that this is for ages four plus
title is great i had sound quality issues with voodoo where the sound was off from the acting
for people saying this is racist are reaching
name one ghost that's not the misty white color people like the ones who claim this is racism
need to just stay home and keep their racist opinions to themselves this movie was far from
racist go to every store in your area and look at their ghost they are white mist is this like a kkk
propaganda film first of all i love that they're like go to the store and look at their ghost yeah
what store are you going to room or like i guess they mean the ones hanging in the windows but it
sounds like they're saying like go to ace hardware and check their ghost in the basement it's white
mist and also i already love how they say i'm not racist you are yeah you stay home in your basement
you'd be racist go to every store in your area and look at their ghosts they are white mist it
has nothing to do with the color of people's skin it's the color of mist other than being a weird
knockoff of casper it was good not amazing but good great job on the movie i'm sorry we have
sensitive people who read into anything because they love to be upset all the time and offended for no reason this title contains positive messages
uh-huh um so i'm confused though as well yeah exactly so big question i was like oh is this
movie actually racist well you know that's not for me to say because i've not seen it but you are a
white person so i think you should of anyone should
be able to say what's racist right but i'm not a white mist and i think that's what it is not yet
anyway in a few decades i'm sorry i put you on the spot as to say you tell me if you think this
is racist okay well i have another review here that might answer some questions might not this
is so good white mist it's the color of mist what is happening
what why is this why did someone feel the need to argue that that's what i'm wondering so please
give me some context because parent of a four-year-old is the is the next user okay cj phillips
parent of a four-year-old uh rated this two stars ages four and up title is overtones about color are disconcerting and ruin
the movie so i'll give you some like clarity here i think okay i decided to let my four-year-old son
watch a kid-friendly halloween movie and settled on the little ghost which is currently streaming
on hulu i was disappointed when a significant part of the plot revolved around the friendly
white ghost being turned black by the sun and subsequently perceived negatively and called the black unknown by the
townspeople. I was uncomfortable and had to clarify to my son that the ghost was not bad just because
he was black. At the end of the film, the ghost became happy again when he woke up at night and
turned white, exclaiming gleefully over and over again. I'm white. I'm white.
While it seemed cute and innocuous at first glance,
I do not recommend this movie for young kids who are just learning about skin
color.
It was too much to explain to a little kid who just wanted to see a ghost
movie on Halloween.
Fair.
I,
I,
what I will say from based on that,
the word I love to use the most,
at least recently makes the movie a little sussy.
Yeah.
Apparently it's a dubbed film.
So that could have had something to do with like not necessarily direct.
But literally what happens is the ghost like goes out in the sun and turns black while all the other ghosts are white.
And he keeps saying, I want to be white.
I want to be white.
Not a good line.
And then they're like, he's black. We need to hide him from everybody. We don't want to be white i want to be white not a good line and then they're like he's black
we need to hide him from everybody we don't want to be around him and then when he turns white again
he just creeps keeps screaming i'm white i'm white and everyone embraces him again like that's yeah
sorry it's just not a great no i that doesn't that doesn't yeah you don't i could see why that's not
something that you want to show children yeah it's like how awkward to explain to your kid, like, you know, don't run around screaming, I'm white.
Yeah.
Oh, boy.
Oh, boy.
So just that's fun.
It's also very creepy, this ghost.
Is it?
I haven't really looked.
Christina, you have not looked at what this ghost looks like?
Please.
The Little Ghost movie.
Oh, my. Yes, I have seen it. it sorry that's why i clicked on it initially it's frightening can you imagine that thing screaming
i want to be white like no wonder i'm pretty sure it was a german film which doesn't it was
originally a german's children's yeah german children's book yeah Yeah, this just like... Which German children's book famously did not age well.
Any of them.
None of them aged well.
That's exactly right.
This one is not quite as old as some of the others, but it looks like toothless.
Yes, it does.
Okay.
God, that's bad, though.
Yeah, it's bad.
I'm not...
It's just bad.
Any other kind of angle maybe would have been better
than that um so now i just have a couple redemptions okay redeem us please yeah here's
a movie called scared shrekless which i guess is a shrek film but also the is it like a shrek
sanctioned is it the dreamworks sanctioned film or like it's a dreamworks sanctioned film but it's
parodying a bunch of adult scary movies so it was kind of weird because kids don't get it because
it's parodying like yeah the exorcist and saw but it's like shrek characters what i know so it didn't
get good reviews i did not even know this existed me neither neither. What a bold choice. It was very weird.
I was reading the plot and I was like, wait, so the Pinocchio guy gets hanged apparently.
It's like really bizarre.
The Pinocchio guy named Pinocchio?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You've heard of him.
Yeah.
So this is a review by, this is a redemption though.
And this is by a kid, 10 years old.
Ages two plus is what he thinks of this film.
Five stars. Title is Looks Cool. this is by a kid 10 years old ages two plus is what he thinks of this film five stars title is
looks cool have not seen it but i want to see it so bad shrek is awesome he would make a very great
halloween special this is much like the barney thing like like um what did he say what does
barney think is appropriate nowadays shrek would make a great Halloween special I know
it but I never knew there would be some swearing in it so I hope my parents will let me watch it
I bet they will because I've watched many movies and TV shows with swearing in it and it would be
funny if donkey got waffles for Halloween instead of candy because he loves waffles so much but I
don't know if it actually is going to happen because I've never seen it and all the Shrek
movies are funny and have funny jokes in it.
And I bet they will have one about waffles.
I will watch it.
That's so cute.
Isn't it?
I really, really hope Donkey got waffles.
I don't think there are waffles in it, which makes me really upset.
Yeah.
I want to make a short film just to make this little kid happy.
This title contains language, educational value, value positive messages and positive role models
wow just hasn't even seen it but picked all the positive ones all the positives i know shrek and
i know the movie he would make he would make a great film uh and it would for sure include waffles
maybe not but maybe so um i now have a redemption of casper the friendly ghost uh this is a five
star review and it's by kids seven years old the title is my
brother watched it when he was four but my mom was okay about it it said bad words the baddest
one was the b word it also said c star star p the c word it's very good but sexy
these children think they say about me it's really bad it's very good but sexy they also
drunk a ghost eyeball popped which was kind of scary they also tried to use guns but kids will
never say those bad words they won't even remember them it's still a great movie end of review what
do you think the b word is to this kid it was bitch it was they said it twice in the movie
but they were joking because it was about a dog oh weird though it was still it didn't fit like
if crap is the c word i was like the b word must be but butthead yeah something no apparently there
was a dog and they were like the bitch is back and then it turns the camera angle turns as a dog
but it's like why would you even put that in a kid's movie whatever that seems off yeah it's like yeah it's a little sussy but
um you know to just completely steal your word also i love my word yes i love that they tried
to use guns they didn't use guns yeah so it's okay because they were only they were not successful
yeah and also kids will never say those bad words don't even worry about it they don't they won't remember they won't
remember they too drunk to remember yeah um so this title contains violence and scariness drinking
drugs and smoking language and sexy stuff um i think that was it i think that's my last one yes
it was nice that was good what a success this was perfect i'm i'm watching later i'm
watching uh a big word but midnight mass what's that came out i think today you're going to church
yeah yeah virtually church virtual church no i'm watching it's the newest it's uh haunting of hill
house honey blind manor and then wait it's out i think tonight yeah oh i'm so excited i have plans
to watch it with dnop so i hope it's out both of those yeah oh i'm so excited i have plans to watch it with dnop
so i hope it's out both of those and i was very proud of myself because i watched them by myself
or you watched the first one with me hill house hill house yeah and then i watched the other one
by myself that was scary i was alone very spooky nice yeah i love blind manor was fantastic i loved
it like a hill house was much spookier i think for me like it was
scarier it was more like manor was like also creepy and stuff but like beautiful it was like
just so good i thought it was really good um midnight mass we'll see for all the shit that
i'm saying i don't watch anything scary i do watch sometimes yeah but um yeah highly recommend if you
haven't seen those those are fun and uh also mickey mouse clubhouse if you haven't seen those. Those are fun. And also, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, if you're not feeling, like, super scary.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, it's crazy what Barney thinks is acceptable nowadays.
So, like, definitely proceed with caution.
Yeah, yeah.
Warning, warning, warning.
Contains sexy stuff.
So, thanks for listening.
Next week, we're doing costumes.
We are.
And I have a little bit of an announcement.
Oh, do you?
Because we just talked about this.
Our Patreon content has been a little bit of an announcement oh do you um because we just talked about this our patreon patreon content has been a little uh lackluster lackluster slash non-existent
slash gone um and we've been people have been wondering what's going on there um
yeah so to make it up to you or at least in our minds what will make it up to you we're
gonna find some good uh sheifer vault content from the vault exactly which means um embarrassing content from our own phone videos
yeah and photos that have not been released to the public uh that we will release to you so you
can just your eyes only get a weird taste of us including videos yeah there's some weird shit
that we've discovered that we don't know where else to put and we're like we don't want to release this publicly maybe we'll just share it with our
good friends yeah yeah so you all deserve it thank you for your support despite us not fully
delivering but hey you've been wonderful in the facebook group and the discord it's been lots of
fun so yeah um anyway enjoy all that Enjoy it as best you can. Anyway,
see you at costumes.