Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 16: Hardware Stores in Nashville, TN

Episode Date: March 13, 2019

If you ever want to blackmail us with fake audio pulled from various sound bites, boy do we have the episode for you! We provide you with amazing quotes such as "I'm going to flip my shit and burn down this place," and "I typed out the word 'sex' a lot today." And by we, we mean Christine. Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by abett, PSOVOD, and tyops. Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

FanDuel Casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling, winning, which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Enjoy the number one feeling, winning, in an exciting live dealer studio, exclusively on FanDuel Casino, where winning is undefeated. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem?

Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Welcome to Beach to Sandy, Water to Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. Hello. Hi. Hello! Hi! And welcome to Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet, the podcast where we read the worst reviews in the most dramatic fashion. I am Christine.

And I am Alex. Hello. Hello, hello. We are here to entertain your ears with horror. Horror, like... Horror of the humanities's horror oh that that kind of the worst kind yes um we have a couple little things to say you tell the first big one the first big one is we released a line of merchandise it's actually very exciting i um I tried a piece on recently. Allie bought, and by the piece, he means the piece his girlfriend purchased. She bought one immediately. She was the first customer.

Precious. Yeah, and then... Guess how many Blaze has bought. Ask me. How many has Blaze bought? Zero. Might as well be negative five stars. Divorce incoming.

Thank you. Okay, so she bought one, and I immediately took it, tried it on, and was like, hey, take a picture of me. Oh, that's right. So that picture's on Instagram. It is? I'm so out of it today. It will be when this episode's released. I tried winking at you and then I kind of did a blink thing. I thought you just had something in your eye.

No. Oh, okay. We're recording this the day before that post is going to go live. I got it. Yes. So yeah, don't worry. That's a great post that you did. You did a really funny and hilarious caption.

And it's so funny how nice it was about me in it too. That really nice thing you said about me in the caption was really heartwarming. So thank you. Okay, look out for that. Yeah. So oh, wait. Yeah. So tell them where to go to find that. Oh, that's a probably a good idea, huh? Well, you can go to our website, actually. And there's a link at the top for shop. Or if you like to type in your URLs, you can type in shop.spreadshirt.com slash beach to Sandy shop.spreadshirt.com slash beach to sandy shop.spreadshirt.com slash bc sandy i think i don't think that's right wrong i just checked and it is right oh it is okay for the first time

i got it right i recently made one for that groupie podcast i stock on the same website because i was copying you and uh i ours is very different structurally so i guess i just miss misunderstood uh so i have one little announcement yeah tell me it's a massive announcement oh it's an announcement of all announcements i against all odds met j dollar sign i did know this but i know nothing else and i'm so excited to hear about this it was before we really okay what happened was i was going to university of maryland for an unless we drink show like for the university is like a student show and we hadn't really we hadn't announced it at all, like on social media, because it was just for students.

And so in the episode of that show last week, we said, oh, by the way, we're leaving for Maryland tomorrow, yada, yada. And then I got an email on, we got an email on Beach2Sandy saying, oh, this is Jay Dollarsign. He always calls us siblings, chief. Which I really enjoy.

And he's like, oh, I just saw that Christine was going to UMD. I actually happened to be a, uh, molecular biologist at UMD and a PhD candidate. And I was like, Oh fuck. What?

And incidentally, we had just, by the way, I've been arguing, like debating what we thought his, I remember I said, what do you think he does for a living? He must be a writer,

right? I said he must be. Yeah. And so anyway, uh i said he must be yeah and so anyway uh essentially he messaged me and was like oh i just have some suggestions for uh like restaurants and stuff in the area if you're around and then i was like a big crazy and i said hey you and your wife should come out for beers and so we met up for beers and then I got a text while we were on the way from Eva, our assistant, saying... Not my assistant. No, not yet.

Delete that. I didn't mean that. I meant, no, we don't have an assistant yet. Not that, no, Eva's not your assistant yet. That's not what I meant. I'm so sorry. Delete that, please. So you got a text on your way. Right. So I get a text on my way from eva saying uh sorry i don't know how to say this but my family just told my parents who are in town just

told me that we're going to the same bar as you oh my god we can sit at a different table if you want and i was like no no let's all sit together and so we all sat together and uh jay dollar sign and his wife kim were just the most lovely people i've ever met are you showing me a picture i do have a picture for you oh my god also have something else for you shit i'm nervous okay i'm airdropping you a a picture of jay dollar sign and me enjoying a nice beverage in which i look crazy and he looks uncomfortable so i'm sorry about that i mean he's sitting next to a large Komodo dragon. I'd be uncomfortable too.

I saw your goddamn email where you said, Christine's going to tell me about it. Said she's going to tell me about it on the podcast. No spoilers about what it was like meeting that large Komodo dragon. And the whole time I was there, I was like, yeah, you called me an iguana. And his wife was like, no. Oh, Christina. Why do you keep saying that? I don't know.

So anyway, it was very lovely. And I just, it was very cool. And it was just so cool to meet someone who we had talked to, like, vaguely and didn't really know that much about. And meet him. And he was awesome. And Kim was awesome. And anyway, I just was, like, very, my heart was very happy. And I was very jealous.

I know. I really was. I know. I felt bad because it was such weird timing. But I also wanted to thank him for being patient with me because I know I was kind of like crazed because University of Maryland is a dry campus and they did not give me any booze. So I feel like I was a little like over the top, like I was a little much and a little excited and i think i maybe came off a little strong so i apologize we'll see in his next reveal i just want to say thank you for meeting with me and uh being being kind and being yourself and thank you and you and kim are lovely people and i look forward to meeting you

both and i want to add real quick that we were sort of right when i said that he was a writer because he and his wife kim have which they just casually mentioned because eva was talking about her podcast paranormal cativity and kim says casually oh yeah we run a cat comic strip and i said no what she says yeah i draw the drawings and uh oh by the way j dollar sign he's like oh by the way it's j money and i was like no it isn't no no Thank God you were there to tell him. Thank God someone fucking told him. And then J money, J$ said that he writes the captions. And so that's on Instagram at Studio Cat Comics.

And guess what? This was the weirdest thing. That's so cool. So they mentioned the Cat Comics, right? The account. Yeah. And then Eva goes, wait, that's so cool so they mentioned the cat comics right the account yeah and then eva goes wait that's so familiar and then opens her phone on her her instagram and goes i follow that

no way yeah we were all at the table together that's hilarious she already followed it anyway that's so funny okay good follow that follow that it's about their cats so thank you j dollar sign j money whatever and kim money for that jk money for that i like that for meeting with me and being patient and kind yeah and i look forward to meeting you when you inevitably find your way to me god he's getting a fucking phd in molecular biology i mean damn anyway so that's that i thought that was quite a fortuitous encounter. That is. Oh, that's so nice. Yeah. Anyway, I know that was a lot, but I feel like we're ready to get into it. Are we? Do we have anything else?

I think that's it. Sweet. Okay, cool. So this week, our theme was hardware stores in Nashville, Tennessee. Correct. And I gave you the challenge of finding a review of a McDonald's that mentions sex. Yeah, and I hate you for that. I really do. That was the plan. That was the idea. You succeeded.

So I guess I start. Go for it. Let's see. Where to begin? Maybe with your first review? Oh, all right. So this is a review of The Home Depot in South Nashville by Dean.

Okay. Thank you, Dean. It is a four-star review. However... Oh, that seemed interesting. Yeah, that's weird. Here's the twist. Tell me.

Well, Dean will tell you, actually. Okay, please. Good store. Very knowledgeable staff. Patrick in Kitchens is great. And so is Tom the plumber. Okay. Warning. This place sounds perfect so far. What could possibly go wrong? Do not eat the hot dogs from the hot dog vendor. I got really sick the last time I did. Then I decided to give them one more try.

Figuring that it must have just been a bad batch. Or whatever. I mentioned it to the proprietor and he told me that he'd rather not even sell me anything. Total asshole. Wait, wait, wait. The hot dog proprietor. No, I think it's the hot dog proprietor no i think it's the hardware store he's like oh your hot dogs made me sick the hot dog you sold me made me sick and then i think the guy said i'd rather not sell you anything which i don't think that's actually wait the home depot

is selling hot dogs outside you know how they sell outside no hot home depot selling hot dogs? Outside. You know how they sell outside? No. Home Depot sells hot dogs? Yes. What? This is blowing my mind. To me, I'm like, this is... No wonder I'm the only person in this house who puts together furniture. At Home Depot, if you go, at least here in LA, if you go, they sell hot dogs outside. Like a...

What? Legally? Yes. They're like vendors. But, okay, but... Kind of like a what legally yes they're like vendors but but okay but kind of like a costco oh so they but they are affiliated with home depot i don't think so oh so that's very different okay that's a vendor it's like costco in that it's a hot dog outside but i think it's some costco sell them inside that is valid however in la they're outside and i think the same with home depot i don't know i've bought hot outside and i think the same with home depot

i don't know i've bought hot dogs but it's not like a home depot brand hot no i believe it's a separate vendor as far as i know so the proprietor actually you know what now that you mention it probably was a proprietor of the hot dog stand that's what i was thinking yes you're probably right but it is on the property like they are outside theor of the hot dog stand. That's what I was thinking. I was confused. Yes, you're probably right. But it is on the property. Like, they are outside the door of the Home Depot, to clarify for you. Yes, okay. He told me he'd rather not even sell me anything. Total asshole.

Unfortunately, the hot dog stand doesn't have a Yelp site yet. If they did, they would get less than one star from me. Well, technically they already have. I know. Because they haven't gotten any. Because they got zero. Oh my lordy. And the poor Home Depot has to deal with it.

Anyway. But hey, I actually respect that guy for giving Home Depot a four at least. Oh wait, that's true. He did give it a four. Yeah. He just gave the one off for the hot dogs. Oh no. I just love that he talked about tom the plumber before so specific patrick and plumbing or something patrick and kitchens

and tom the yeah that's okay oh i love it all right so i kind of thought i would be exploring a lot of uh hardware stores but instead i ended up just exploring home depot in nashville oh like this the exact the same home depot same exact location yeah i didn't do any big chain yeah i stuck to the smaller ones i saw that and i went the opposite direction so cynthia says one star weirdly enough cynthia is from san francisco so i don't really understand how this happened, that happens a lot where I look at these people and I'm like, how the hell do they review all these different places in all these different cities? Yeah, for the number of spaces.

Like one in each city. Like where the hell are you actually from? Right. And for the number of capital letters and spaces in this review, I think maybe they didn't really know what they were doing. So Cynthia says, This was a horrible experience. The delivery people were awful. they refused to set my washing

machine on my old pedestal but they said they'd take the washer away they had me sign the work order then they jumped in the truck and took off leaving the old washer in the middle of my kitchen prior to this they had knocked my dryer hose loose walked around my kitchen eating food. I hope it was her food. I hope it was her food. It was her dry seaweed snacks. Excuse me, are you making fun of me now? I correct, I am. And stomping through water and detergent.

It's like if you give a mouse a cookie they're just stomping around her kitchen i put water and detergent all over the floor and they stomped all through it if you give a delivery person a puddle i don't know never mind oh you were making all sorts of noises over there i'm sorry that was awful oh dear okay so right they stomped around they ate all of her seaweed snacks. Okay. Then I called Home Depot and they threatened to charge me a restocking fee if I sent the appliance back. Quote, Michelle, unquote, kept asking me, what do you want for compensations? I don't know, Michelle.

Michelle, you are the supervisor. Jeez. I am working to reverse the charge with my bank. This was a horrible experience and I want to deal with people, not these people. They did not inform me properly so I can prepare for my delivery and then trying to charge me if i get my charge reversed let's see how that goes everyone oh i hope we do get to see i'm waiting for an update yeah maybe that maybe they'll write in tell us how it went i know that wasn't they'll probably write to like um our podcast but in like like Dubai or like the wrong city since they don't really know how to follow.

Maybe they moved out. Maybe they were like, they were so bad that they just left the washer and just moved to San Francisco. Entirely possible. No, not really. No? Maybe. Okay. Next one is another of Home Depot.

Same Home Depot. This is a one star. Oh, I'm sorry. This is a five star review hear me out what is going on over there that's okay i find people have written us and said more five star reviews like more so hey what do you mean like people have asked us to read more five star oh well it's a five star by accident i think like they don't know how the rating we've had the reverse it's a five star by accident i think like they don't know how the rating we've had the reverse that's true so so this is a five star review by capital j capital j lowercase j so j j j got it j j j says if i have to go here for a another bundle of shingles i'm gonna flip my shit and burn down the place end of review oh my you know what i know that i know what happened here

it was a court order that they had to change it to five stars because they got in trouble for threatening to burn it down threat of violence judge was like okay well you can go free just change that to a five-star review they said you have to write a five-star review so they just said sure i will anyway i will say that there was a response from the home depot no for that one yeah comment from the home depot of the home depot is what it says the title is okay that's the title of their comment from no it says comment from and then it says the home depot of the home depot business manager hi jj space j they also put the capital in the wrong they put capital j lowercase capital oh man they fucked this all up fucked this all up. They fucked it all up. Watch out. JJJ is going to burn your house down. Hi, JJJ.

Thank you for advising us about your experience. We'd like to look into this further. Please send details, including all of your contact information, to TeamSocial at HomeDepot.com at your soonest convenience. Oh, my God. They were taking this threat seriously and they wanted the details of their information. I honestly think so. Oh, man. That's so scary.

Wait, did you see if that place was closed down due to a fire? No, I didn't see any arson activity. But this was also November of 2018. Oh, God. So please don't go to the, well, I don't want to say that. They do have a bad hot dog vendor, though. I mean, there's a lot of things going on at this point. Please send us all of your, we're so sorry to hear about you.

Please send us all of your contact information immediately. I like that. Okay. All of your contact information immediately. I like that. Okay. Now, I didn't feel like it was fair to review a bunch of Home Depots and not review a competitor. Lowe's.

Correct. Lay it on me. O-M-G. Okay. I guess I should tell you. This is from Tom. Okay. This is a one-star review. This is the Lowe's on Nolensville.

Pike. O-M-G. okay this is a one-star review this is the lows on nolensville pike o m g this is the worst managed retail operation i have ever seen in my 12 cities of living oh it's like 12 years of life that's what i thought i got really excited but 12 cities of living. Wow. Which is, you know, how you say. Poetic. Very poetic. The general manager, if one even exists, should be fired immediately. One person serving customers for every 12 standing around with their finger up their nose. I could make a list of 25 ways to double the business in this place on Nolensville and Old Hickory intersection.

But it's too long to list here and besides i don't do free consulting work and a review what a dick what an asshole i don't like that hire him for your consulting work like what's were there any details of what happened wrong yeah people had their fingers up their nose. Germ hazard. But it's also on fire, so there's a bigger problem to worry about. Oh, no, that was the Home Depot. Oh, yeah. So there's an epidemic.

I hope they don't have a hot dog vendor at this Lowe's that's sticking their finger up their nose. You're correct. That would be a flu epidemic there, then a fucking fire at the Home Depot. Gosh. This is a very upsetting turn of events that is on all fronts anyway so those are my hardware store ones i know they were all big box stores or big chains whatever what's the difference they sell boxes big boxes they do big box that's what i meant everybody before you correct me well i have a review for you do you from buds hardware and key shop what buds hardware and key shop oh i thought you said in keyshaw no like this was supposed to be nashville

and key shop gotta go yeah and this is a one-star review from t west we'll never shop here again i've spent a lot of money, on several occasions, in this store. Terry, the owner, has been nice on some occasions, but today he was very rude and disrespectful. It's just a wheel on a basket. I've brought four baskets there. There was no reason for yelling at me or telling me I was a liar. End of review. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

What? A wheel on a basket? Exactly. That's why I brought this to everyone's attention. I need to know what the hell's happening here. What does that mean? I googled it thinking it was some sort of like turn of phrase. It's just a wheel on a basket.

I've brought four baskets here. Oh my God. What's happening? I don't know. I need to get to the bottom of this, though. The bottom of the basket? What did he say? He called me a liar?

There was no reason for yelling at me or telling me I was a liar. Wow. So apparently they were yelled at after bringing in four baskets with wheels on them with wheels on them but i was also considering if they said i like meant to say i've bought four baskets there oh instead of i don't know why would you be called a liar if you exactly bought a basket is this like one of those mops mop buckets that have wheels on i don't know what's going on oh a bucket oh maybe i was oh basket oh huh see i don't know it is it says basket that's very unsettling yeah well i think once we figure out the secret to the sonic and spongebob riddle right this one will also make

itself there are a lot of life's quandaries we've encountered. That's what we're about here. And not answered on this show. That's what we're about. So that was another one for everyone to just kind of ponder over. Marinate. Chew on that. Now I have one of Inglewood True Value.

Okay. From Michael. It's a two-star review. Mm-hmm. Most people grow fall vegetables. They always run out of kale seeds. They have all other seeds, like turnip, green seeds, which aren't beneficial. I'm sorry.

They don't run out of kale seeds. This is all one sentence. What's happening? Okay. That's why people buy kale seeds, because it's health beneficial. Should make them think, hmm. I don't know what's happening? Okay. That's why people buy kale seeds, because it's health beneficial. Should make them think, hmm. I don't know what's happening. I should have waited for that laugh.

That has three exclamation points. Hmm. We need to order more. When I asked about another shipment, they said that they're not getting any more in... I can't do this. You're doing great. Believe it or not, I've read this before. I just can't do it out loud. We need to order more. When I asked about another shipment, they said they're not getting any more in. That's when gardeners and farmers start planting fall vegetables. Is

now September and October perfect weather? How can I support a local hardware store when they aren't trying to make an effort of what I need you wonder why people go online and order elsewhere this makes the third year in a row and please just a suggestion if something sells out like kale seeds put them in a bigger container instead of coffee cans thanks like they broke it up with punctuation when they did three exclamation points after right i remember you said the exclamation points and was that the only punctuation yes in the entire entire review oh no it was just those three and the kale seeds so so the person wanted kale seeds at the point this is another riddle oh is it yes it's another life quandary

yes got it um but i think they did want kale seeds because they're beneficial but they are very i mean obviously they're very beneficial but they sell out because everyone wants them so they're saying like why don't you put them in a bigger container which i assume would make it look like there are more or less i don't know but i mean they're in a coffee canister that's the only thing i got garnered from that information well maybe our listeners can give us a little more info there about the beauty of kale seeds thank god you run the fucking email okay my last one is from r and e nails supplies And I just want to point out that when you find this place, there's an image.

It shows their storefront, and it says R&E Nails and Staples. Oh! So that's what they specialize in, nails and staples. I really, when you said it was a review from R&E Nails, I thought you meant like a nail salon was reviewing well just a hardware store oh you just cracked the riddle to this one look at me go if only i understood the beauty of kale seeds this is a one-star review from melissa i was looking for a uv curing lamp for nails which i googled people are so stupid oh my god yeah well and this listing came up so i called directly from the google search and a very rude woman said no you have the wrong number and hung up i called

back and asked that's your okay yeah anyone can when they try to type in a nails thing they think oh nails supplies i can get my my UV curing lamp here. Sure. But then your real mistake was calling back when they explicitly said the wrong number. And this is the world of iPhone where you just hit, you don't have to retype the number. It's not like you thought, oh, maybe I put a nine instead of a six. This was a month ago, so. Oh, fuck.

Okay. I called back and asked, was it R& and e nails and i could hear when she answered she was mad i called back and she was even worse saying no i told you it's the wrong number i then tried explaining that her business came up in the google search but she wasn't gonna hear it and hung up again i don't care what business she has or what she sells i'll never go or recommend them to anyone thank you she doesn't want you to like literally get the hint she told you i love it like i love how they say i don't care what business she has when it's like she's obviously calling back in order to like say well is this your business tell me is this your business google told ask cheeves i asked cheeves and he told me i just i don't i

don't really understand why if you're googling amazon has two days shipping dude that's another thing this is a month ago beauty go to fucking sephora like i don't understand i was thinking like would they possibly even get a deal at a place that's like this like that sells nailing why would you typically know typically people deal at a place that's like this? Like, that sells nailing? Why would you bother? Typically, no. Typically, people go to the smaller stores to, like, support local business. And, you know, if your big issue is like, oh, I want to get it right now and for a certain price. No.

It doesn't make any sense. It doesn't. Is the point of my story. Someone else, they had three one-star reviews. Oh. Those were the only reviews they had three one-star reviews one that was those were the only reviews they had really one was just a blank one and then the other one was uh saying that it it was actually a hardware store and should be labeled as such even though when i i found it googling hardware

stores how many people do you think just wandering they thought it was a beauty well that's looking for a storefront literally says nails and staples like what what would staples i can just imagine being like oh do you have acrylic nails and then they hand you like a fucking pile of those like little mounting plastic mounting things i just i don't understand you walk in there and you're like don't you feel stupid like if i walked into a place and i was like oh a nail shop and i walked in and there were nails everywhere i'd be like oh shit that was silly of me or if i call someone and they're like you have the wrong number then i'd be like oh shoot i'm sorry i'll look at amazon yeah i'll i'll do what i should have done before i called you oh fuck dude oh but yeah. Oh, but yeah, that's it.

That's all I've got. A UV curing lamp. All right. That was ridiculous. That was a one, sorry. Yeah. Well, I guess it's, is it time for the challenge? I think it is.

Oh, boy. Okay. Let's see what you found. Let's see what I found, man. All right. So this was uh interesting really easy you want to know the truth yeah it was pretty easy okay i mean i i did this not because i thought it would be hard you fucked me up as far as my browser history that's what i

wanted yeah you did do that um did i think to go incognito nah so that's good for me that was smart yeah i typed out the word sex a lot today and i explored the broad spectrum of possible sex related topics sounds like my tuesday gross everything from sexual harassment cases and like legal stuff oh yeah all the way from that to like born have best sex at mcdonald's videos you have to see her face right now i wish you could she's like struggling to say any of this i wanted to say as quickly and cleanly and make the rip off the band-aid that's a thing okay specifically mcdonald's specifically make sexy mcdonald's videos on pornhub okay only the best though and then also in the middle was just like just everything weird miscellaneous i let's just get into it please so this is the first thing that happened i typed in

i thought i'd start small and i went on to yelp and i typed in and i was already doing uh hardware stores in nashville so i just typed in mcdonald's and i didn't really think to change nashville and the first thing that click came up i was like it was like describe apparently now yelp like describes like a chain at the top before all the have you seen that before all the like locations are listed it'll say like mcdonald's is a whatever company so some of the big like home depot and lowes had those too did a uv nail salon have that not that i saw we sell uv curing lamps only come to our location one star uh so mcdonald's so i had this big description and i was like i'll just click on We sell UV curing lamps only. Come to our location. One star.

So McDonald's. So I had this big description and I was like, I'll just click on number one. The first one underneath it. Right. And I had like 35 reviews and I just went down and I typed in the like search bar the word sex. And something came up and I went, what are the fucking odds? That easy? That easy. And then i realized i clicked on something

i'm nervous well let me read it okay i'm gonna read it okay after two months of salad for lunch eating a burger with sweet potato fries a skeeter bar think corn flakes mixed with peanut butter and topped with dark chocolate and fruit tea seemed simply decadent comfort food never tasted or felt so good i must be getting old it all sounds almost as good as sex the line was long as usual and well worth the trouble if you don't like lines then come early or late to avoid the lunch rush so i'm sitting there going that's not a mcdonald's what the fuck what are these foods and then i asked blaze who was currently making we we were making dinner, but I was actually just sitting reading Yelp reviews.

And I was like, what is it? I was like, McDonald's doesn't sell sweet potato fries, right? And he's like, where is this? And I was like, Nashville. And he's like, I mean, that's one of their testing markets, I guess. And I was like, maybe they just were trying it. And then I was like, but what's a Skeeter bar? And they don't sell fruit tea. Like is none of this is real then i realized that under the fucking mcdonald's

they had like burger places even though they had a big like mcdonald's page i clicked on some other fucking thing called franklin burger company but you happen to find one that mentioned sex that is pretty bizarre right and it had 35 reviews i was like what are the odds this is so easy and then you're like well i don't know how to place so then i went about it a different way this is a first by the way a first this is a first this is a first from Glassdoor.com. Oh. Of an employee. This is great. This is good. Which, if you don't know, is a website on which you can read reviews of employers and the work atmosphere.

And basically, employees rate and review their own employers anonymously. So you can see what average salaries and what the working atmosphere is like, etc. I've done that. Yeah, yeah, me too. And I feel like it's a pretty common thing, but I've never thought about it as like... Let's just say McDonald's had 22,000 reviews. Yeah, I bet. Are they searchable? I believe so, yes.

But you found something. But I did, but I just happened to come up on Google. I didn't search Glassdoor. Got it. Just for future reference. Pretty good idea. So there's this one employee. It's obviously anonymous, so I don't know this person's name.

But they wrote a one-star review of their time working at McDonald's, which seems to be current. wrote a one-star review of their time working at McDonald's, which seems to be current. It lists all the little attributes. It says, I have worked at McDonald's full-time more than eight years. Pros. Managers don't give a shit. I guess it's a pro, depending on how you look at it.

Cons. Customers are so annoying. Advice to management. Keep up the good work Other notes Got caught having sex in the freezer What? I don't know Oh my god

Okay, if that happens to you You should not have the ability to give a one-star review if you're the one who did that but management didn't give a shit and they kept obviously they're still working there i love how they're like keep up the good work like as if they don't do anything but keep it up you're right it literally says pros managers don't give a shit advice to managers and keep up the good work cuts to having sex in the free what that was that's that's pretty great now i kind of went on a little little roll here and i'm sorry for it but i do have two more blame on me okay so this is a

review from melissa it's a five-star review of a mcdonald's in boston i call this adventure mcdonald's it is my favorite mcdonald's well it comes as close to making me like a mcdonald's as is possible this mcdonald's has a security guard and from the looks of it he has a very busy day here this is no sit back and check your fb on your phone kind of security job he is constantly on his feet escorting people out of the building or trying to get people out of the bathroom he has actually had to make people stop having sex in the bathroom he's pretty reasonable reasonable about it but if you can't wrap it up in about five minutes you're really being unfair to all the other customers who are waiting to have sex in the bathroom

i'd like to think that isn't a thing but I saw at least two other couples try to walk into that bathroom together during that visit. What? Today I watched as the... Sorry, this just goes really haywire. Today I watched as the employees had to... Oh, no. I shouldn't be laughing. I'm nervous.

Today I watched as the employees had to try and determine if someone was dead. And then call 911. The weird thing is that no one looked vaguely alarmed. It's just another day at Adventure McDonald's. I hope they provide PTSD counseling to their employees. End of review. Wow. I just was like, ha ha, sex of other, ha ha.

That's what I was looking for. Anyway, today someone died in a mcdonald's i was like wait that's what i was looking for terrible okay uh and then i have one more this one is questionable this is from jane two stars nice remodel at the first menu stop this voice from heaven tells you to move to the next menu the second second menu, the girl goes, yay, stoopy, what you be wantin'? I don't know why it says that. Never say that sentence again, please. It's spelled like that. I believe you.

I'm just saying I hated it. They really specifically wrote out the pronunciation. I order an ice cream sundae, quote unquote. The difference between that and an ice cream cone is a pump and a half of caramel. Then my boyfriend and I had sex in the drive-thru. What? How? Then I got pregnant.

And then I had a kid in the drive-thru. Then we got married. And our kid went to kindergarten and we still had not been served our ice cream sundae. We actually had a parent-teacher meeting in the drive-thru when i got there the guy gave me a mess a sundae with a lid messily placed on top the stuff hopped over my pants it became a race to save my seats from the mess i don't know how 25 of the country has the time and patience to visit a mcdonald's every day and a review oh my god that did not go where i expected i like that reading mcdonald's reviews is the most upsetting pastime i've learned i have a feeling we're going to be visiting more of those eventually

mcdonald's absolutely oh for review for youtube and oh maybe oh i thought you meant for youtube i mean all of these all of the above. So like just yeah. Fast food restaurant reviews are a wild time. Yeah. Cool. So that's all I have for for my challenge. That was a job well done. Thank you for making me extremely uncomfortable.

I know. My NSA guy is really annoyed right now because he has to stay overtime at work today. And I'm sorry. He does have a wife and three children wow yeah all from the drive-thru you've learned a thing or two yes um all right well before we announce the theme and you just burp nope before we announce the theme and challenge for next week i'm gonna tell you where you can find us. Great.

This list is getting too long now with the merch. Come and find us. Come and find us. Our address is... Our address? Yeah, you're making this weird come and find us thing. I was about to yell at you. You can find us on Instagram and Twitter at Beach2Sandy,

Facebook at Beach2SandyWater2Wet. Our website is Beach2Sandy.com. Our email is Beach2Sandy, Facebook at Beach2SandyWater2Wet, our website is Beach2Sandy.com, our email is Beach2Sandy at gmail.com, support us on Patreon at patreon.com slash Beach2Sandy, our YouTube channel is youtube.com slash c slash Beach2SandyWater2Wet, and buy our merch at shop.spreadshirt.com slash beach2sandy. Cool. Yeah, do that.

Okay. So I actually have a listener review from Apple Podcasts. Oh, fantastic. Also, just so you guys know, before we do that real quick, we are coming out with our second... Oh, it already came out. What? Oh. LOL.

Just kidding. When you're listening to this, it's a couple days after the release of episode two of Between You and Us. Between You and Us. Between You and Us. That was released on Monday. Yeah, my bad. Sorry.

And in it, we read reviews from you. And if you want to be a part of that, send us an email at beach2sandy at gmail.com. And in the subject, please include between you and us. So we know to put those in a separate folder. Yes. Thanks, guys. Thank you. Here's a review from Alyssa.

Five-star review. Titled, No Need for a Fee Fund Here. Hello, all. I've come all the way from the Spotify app to specifically let you know that this podcast really freaking butters my toast. Wait, is this on an Apple podcast? Yes. Oh, this is so nice. Yeah, they went to Apple just to leave this for us.

I know. I really appreciate it. Thank you. And that's really saying. Yeah, they went to Apple just to leave this for us. I know. I really appreciate it. Thank you. And that's really saying something, as I am gluten-free. Although this is a free radio show, I would pay millions to listen to it each week. And I would never, ever consider asking for a fee fund. Although... Then we have a Patreon.

Oh. Although, if I could make one suggestion, it would be more reviews on squirrel bridges love alissa precious yeah thank you thank you for coming from spotify to do that for us yeah it's really nice of you thank you alissa so if anyone could uh if anyone else like would like to hop on over to apple podcast leave us a five-star review you might be featured on our show it's very helpful to us too it really is Also, if I could spend the rest of this fucking show doing Squirrel Bridge reviews, I'd be very happy. Yeah. Well, keep an eye out on our YouTube channel because something special is coming.

Oh, my God. I forgot about that. We filmed a little something special. Fucking A. Yeah, you'll see. You will see. It's not out yet. I haven't even started editing but it will come so subscribe

to that all right so i'm gonna give you your theme for next week oh fuck okay well hey be nice you know why why this was decided on by our patrons wait oh shit i gave them a few options uh in a poll on patreon and they decided on this one okay so so this is why you told me not to go on Patreon today. Yes. Cool. That's fun. So yeah, you get to be part of polls, I guess, too, if you're on Patreon. That's part of it.

And it was actually a pretty tight race, and they did comment, like people were commenting and giving their reasoning for which ones, but this is the one they decided on. Okay. They decided that your theme is hospitals in Boston, Massachusetts. Oh, shit. Do you know how much time I've spent? Yes, I do.

Okay. You know what's weird? Tell me. So you told me to avoid Patreon, but I forgot that the emails go to our account. So the first thing I do, I'm at my remicade infusion this morning for my Crohn's at Keck the uh USC's hospital and i'm sitting there

with my IV in and i like my phone buzzes and i look at it and it's like i think Christine might be interested in hospitals and i was like what the fuck is this so weird and i just was like i'm not supposed to see that but i was literally inside a hospital that's funny so it worked out well i did think of that today i was like kind of chuckled to myself when you told me that you're getting remicade i'm like i know i know her oh fuck okay so great well i mean i'm i know those a couple of those hospitals inside and out. All right, great. And then your challenge, is that next? That is next.

Okay. So now I did that thing where I came up with a couple again. Okay. And then I didn't poll anyone. So maybe I should do that next time. Next time. Okay. My challenge is to find a review of an airport by someone who accidentally ended up in the wrong city oh my gosh is that too hard i will see i'm gonna try it i can change it too if it's too hard

i already have an airport in mind okay so okay i like it makes me nervous i don't know if that's too hard but you know what i'm gonna do my best okay okay and if if it's it's if it's a struggle i'm gonna go to our patrons and ask them to help oh true i guess we could do that now we can fucking use you guys for your for your labor thank you okay well look out for that and thanks everyone for listening oh thanks guys we'll talk to you soon talk to you soon bye