Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 187: Reviews of Camera Stores

Episode Date: June 29, 2022

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Starting point is 00:00:23 Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Welcome to Beach to Sandy Water to Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. hello welcome to beach to sandy water to wet the podcast where we read the worst reviews in the most dramatic fashion i'm x teen i'm sandy and today we're reading reviews of camera stores. Correct. But first. But first. You always want to dive right in. I always forget my lines.
Starting point is 00:01:30 60 seconds ago I told you. Something about the pin. Oh yeah. So we have a pin. A bi-monthly. Is that right? Bi-monthly pin. It is bi-monthly.
Starting point is 00:01:40 It is coming out as this comes out. Beginning of July. And it's a limited. Nope, not as this comes out. Next- Cool, next week. Next week. Beginning of July. And this one is called Bitch Too Sandy, Eau de Parfum.
Starting point is 00:01:58 And it's a perfume bottle of our signature scent. Bitch Too Sandy. Bitch Too Sandy. I'm so excited about it. I'm so excited about it. I'm so stupid about it. Maybe I'll finally remember to actually order one. I know, right? I keep forgetting to order the pins.
Starting point is 00:02:13 So go to, where do you go? Bit.ly slash Beach Too Sandy merch. That's right. Also, patrons, $5 patrons can vote on our theme. We talked about that last week. I put the poll up already. I accidentally said it's's for episode 188 which is wrong because we're doing uh cars uh car beds not car beds uh specialty beds you know what i okay what's it children's children's beds that's what they're called uh like beds that are cars um so i meant for 189 our poll is out um that's coming out july 13th um and you're there
Starting point is 00:02:48 are three options reviews of morbius reviews of dispensaries and reviews of chipotle okay which one's winning reviews of chipotle by like a lot really i just threw that one in i actually just voted i didn't mean to do that for morbius yeah i kind of did mean to do that. For Morbius? Yeah. I kind of did mean to do that, though. There aren't that many votes. I mean, like, it's, even though it's, so, reviews of Chipotle is at 49%. So, and Morbius is at 27. Dispensary is at 25. That doesn't even come out to 100, I believe.
Starting point is 00:03:20 So, I don't know how they're doing this. What? Comes out to 101%. Oh, my God. There's collusion. So, I don't know what Patreon's doing.. What? It comes out to 101%. Oh my god, there's collusion. So I don't know what Patreon's doing. I swear I'm not hacking anything or cheating. I just saw you vote for Morbius. Ten times. So I'll leave that up for another week, an extra week.
Starting point is 00:03:35 Cool. Because I messed up. Can't wait to vote. Y'all can still join and vote for whichever one of those three you want. Oh, and the most liked liked comment or the most liked comment suggesting a theme will be used in the next poll someone write cruises please thank you don't do that you know what's winning right now though what uh reviews of performers like clowns birthday party princesses, etc.
Starting point is 00:04:05 That's fun. This is going to be a great thing, I think, these polls. I love it. Yeah. So anyway, go vote for your favorite comment. Vote for your favorite theme. Patreon.com slash Beeshoes Handy. Okay.
Starting point is 00:04:16 Camera stores? Yes. From Erin? Please. Great. Wait, can I give you one more update? Yeah. This is actually a review.
Starting point is 00:04:24 If you must. This is a review. This is what you review. If you must. This is a review. This is what you're here for, people, I promise. I just have to get it because I don't have the right thing open. Remember that review that you brought to the table in our reality TV show episode where someone was responding to another reviewer. Yes. But you couldn't find that other reviewers review i believe it was about jessica simpson yes show and how and and how someone's gay for thinking that she's
Starting point is 00:04:53 gorgeous or is uh there's certain wording someone found the review it's so someone was saying, complaining towards Charissa was writing a review saying that Yolanda was... Gay. Right? I'm so confused. Now that I'm reading this, I'm like, okay, so I think you brought Charissa's review. Here's a review by Y yolanda aimed towards sharissa calling sharissa gay oh i think that's what happened i don't even remember do you yeah that sounds right and then and then sharissa was like no you're gay and it was like okay yes that's what it was
Starting point is 00:05:38 such a worthwhile argument you're having so here's the review by yolanda it's a five-star review okay uh this is of uh newlyweds uh a dvd on amazon sharissa it's titled sharissa is gay of course sharissa you're just jealous that jessica is drop dead gorgeous and you're butt ugly and overweight also you're just jealous if you can't get a boyfriend or get a husband as a tenth as good looking as Nick. So if I were you, I'd just shut up before me and my friend Piper bit you up so bad that would wish you'd never said those things and you'd wish you never was born. I feel bad because it doesn't even say never was born. I just, it says never were born, like correct grammar, and I'm the one messing it up. You'd wish say never was born i just it says never were born like correct grammar and i i'm the one messing it up you'd wish you never were born okay that's still not correct but i can't i can't do this it's not even over coming coming to vh1 this fall sharissa is gay
Starting point is 00:06:41 the new hit reality show where sharissa finds love and the sequel yolanda is gay oh my god is gay too hey what if why can't we all be gay and then the following the trilogy sharissa and yolanda finding love together yeah because now they're in love oh okay finding love together as in like loving each other in love now okay I thought it was gonna be like the new bachelorette being two bachelorettes Charissa and Yolanda are gay together I love it to each other here's here's here's the rest of what Yolanda has to say about Charissa you're the dumbest person on the planet not Nick or Jessica they're some of the smartest ones actually quit talking about yourself and quit confusing them with you.
Starting point is 00:07:27 End of review. That's like a more wordy version of your glue. I'm rubber, you're glue. Yep, exactly. No, you're the idiot. Whatever you say bounces off me and hits Nick Lachey. So stop it. Wow. He's a national treasure. So stop it. Wow.
Starting point is 00:07:45 He's a national treasure. So thank you, Lexi, for that lovely update. That's the funniest thing I've ever heard. Yeah, that was episode 184. I can't believe that the response was so good that I read it just as is, and it had such a good... I didn't even realize how good the original review was.
Starting point is 00:08:02 Right? My friend Piper and I are going to beat you up. But it's bit you up. Oh, sure, sure, sure. B-I-T. Oh, God. With their teeth. Oh, God.
Starting point is 00:08:13 Oh, Zany, that was good. Okay. Thank you for that little amuse-bouche. Yes. And now some more amuse for you. I'm going to read the review aaron sent in with this theme oh okay so the theme again is camera stores uh from aaron and aaron included a review this is a review of mike's camera in boulder colorado one star This is by Winona. I've shopped at Mike's before in the past, and other than their
Starting point is 00:08:48 inflated prices, I've been happy. However, today I paid them a visit and had the pleasure of being waited on by Steven. He was condescending, arrogant, and impatient with me. In addition, when I asked a question, he gave me a little I told you so attitude and quickly cleared that up once he realized I shot him a look. The interaction reminded me of the last time I was in Aspen, and the waitress was rude
Starting point is 00:09:16 to me and talked down to me, talked about how important she was when I asked the price of a menu item. I'm not better than anyone else, and I don't like it when others treat me as less than. The whole sales floor was full of employees standing around and staring at me. Now, granted, I was wearing climbing pants and a winter t-shirt and not dressed up, but it was very uncomfortable just being inside the place. I'm definitely not going back to Mike's
Starting point is 00:09:41 for my future photo needs. If you can afford their prices, you can afford to find another place as well. End of review. Oh, no. This person sounds like my worst nightmare. I was wearing my brand new Patagonia that I bought in downtown Aspen. I loved it. I loved it. What is...
Starting point is 00:10:01 How... Like, they didn't even give enough details about that waitress to justify bringing it up. At all. Like, not even, like, I don't get the connection that they made. There's so little detail that it just, it doesn't, that's, I say this all the time. But if you're gonna make accusations and throw shit around, you gotta back it up with some details. Otherwise, I'm not gonna believe you, really. Full truth or nothing but the truth yeah when it comes to these reviews it's like when you're telling me that a waitress talked about how important she was when i asked for the price
Starting point is 00:10:36 of a menu item what does that even mean what if for once we're wrong and like he literally said how much is the market price on lobster at this Aspen restaurant that apparently I can afford, even though I can't afford this camera store's prices? And she was like, do you know who I am? I'm the lobster queen. I'm Aspen's, I'm this season's Aspen, I'm last season's Aspen. If something like that happened, I would assume they'd include all those fucking details because that's wild and crazy. And I tell everybody that I met the lobster queen. I can only hope.
Starting point is 00:11:12 Yeah. But the fact they didn't provide those details makes me think that they're just kind of exaggerating. Well, they're probably most likely exaggerating no matter what. Well, yeah, because he even said, I told you so attitude. And I'm like well yeah because he even said i told you so attitude and i'm like so he didn't say i told you so he just said he just gave the general vibe of i told you so which is like that seems really subjective and it seems like this so and then it says that steven here quickly cleared that up once he realized they shot him a look. So in my mind, what that means is Stephen said something, got a look, and then was like, oh, they took it this way,
Starting point is 00:11:50 the way I didn't want it, and cleared it up. Yeah, yeah, or just like clarified what they were saying. Yeah, what they meant and what they were saying. Anyway, thank you, Aaron. Thank you, Aaron. This review comes from an email from Tristan, he, him, and this is of a moon photo. That's the name of it. Moon photo in Seattle, Aaron. This review comes from an email from Tristan, he, him. And this is of a moon photo. That's the name of it.
Starting point is 00:12:07 Moon photo in Seattle, Washington. It's a one-star view by Ryan. I develop my own film. And when I don't, I send it out to a lab in Butte to have it developed and proofed. Then I can make prints from the negs, et cetera. The problem with moon is the snootiness about black and white film. I was given some BW400CN and I had brought in the negatives. Let me interject here that I'm a heavy guy with marginal hearing that makes me talk a
Starting point is 00:12:34 little too loud, especially after riding my motorcycle, as I did that day. I came in and was my friendly self, but the lady behind the counter, a middle-aged thin woman, greeted me with a look of disgust that nearly withered me i am a little slow to respond to insults so i continued by explaining that i usually sent my film and negs out to montana to have them proofed and i was looking for a place locally that would do these for me the first words out of her mouth were a challenge to name the city in montana where i send my negs. A challenge? Like, wait, you think that she doesn't believe you,
Starting point is 00:13:08 so she's challenging you? Just wait. I said that I thought it was Butte, and she asked me if I was sure. I asked why knowing where I sent my film was important. She responded by telling me that she was from Montana, and it was her experience that most people can't name more than a couple cities.
Starting point is 00:13:34 Okay, okay, wait. Butte Butte okay that's not fair I got that one today um Bozeman Missoula Bozeman hey that's two that's a couple sorry I don't think you passed this lady's test by the way he gives her a name later he By the way, he gives her a name later. He gives her a name? He gives her a name. It's no Lobster Queen, but it's up there. Oh, I'm excited. Queen of Montana. That's in her.
Starting point is 00:13:52 I think that's it. I wouldn't be so... I mean, I can tell. I can't find it, but... Oh, First Lady of Montana. First Lady of Montana. That's better. Okay.
Starting point is 00:14:02 She responded by telling me that she was from Montana, and it was her experience that most people can't name more than a couple of cities. In a tone that implied that I was one of those people that had not properly prioritized memorizing Montana cities. I let that slide as well and asked if she could create proofs from the negs that I had with me. This apparently was too much. Not only had I failed to somehow not discuss her and recite Montana cities from memory, I was using crappy film. I explained that it was some film that was obtained cheaply and I was just testing out some tolerances. I said that I had heard that it was a really flexible film and I wanted to see, and I got no further. She interrupted me with, I know what it is. What followed was a litany of reasons why I shouldn't use that film and why she was not going
Starting point is 00:14:44 to be able to get any quality out of the negs. This whole last exchange was loud enough that people who had long since stopped looking at me for being loud returned their heads in our direction to get the visual as well as the audio of my scolding. I was stunned and left the negs and asked when they would be done. I was dismissed with sometime next week and a receipt. I left and went and recovered from the shell shock over a beer. I then called the shop and spoke to the owner he said fine your film will be ready when you get here and he hung up i went in and asked for my negs and a girl handed them to me as i took them the first lady of montana as i now think of her said i'm sorry it didn't work out i said nothing and left all All in all, a negative experience.
Starting point is 00:15:25 No pun intended. I think they mean a neg experience. I shoot a lot of black and white and I was looking for a place to handle my developing needs. It will not be moon photo. But I bet there is a good lab in Billings or Missoula or Great Falls or Bozeman or Helena or Kalispell or Whitefish or Flathead or...
Starting point is 00:15:44 That's hilarious. hilarious okay i love this i found it very charming um at the end there and there was a part that uh tristan crossed out because uh it got just in the weeds a little bit about the details so i guess the point being he went to have a beer while he was there he changed his mind about the whole thing thought it through called and said like never mind don't develop my photos that's i figured something like that i mean that's something where as someone who has dabbled in film photography i am very scared of people like that who... Like, it's intimidating when people are very... I don't know anything about film, even though I've used a film camera for years now for fun. And you know far more than I do.
Starting point is 00:16:33 And yet... Yeah. Yeah. I'm afraid of them asking me basic questions, let alone cities in Montana, while I'm also trying to figure out my camera shit. I just love, like, in Butte, are you sure? Like, why does it matter? Are you sure?
Starting point is 00:16:48 It's so, like, could you imagine going, and I mean, granted, Ohio probably is more, you know, definitely has a higher population and stuff, but, like, I couldn't imagine being annoyed that someone doesn't know about Cincinnati. In a completely different state? Like, who cares? I'd be a little bit more surprised
Starting point is 00:17:03 if someone didn't know about Cincinnati than, like, Butte. But, like, I don't know. Who cares? Exactly. I get my film developed in Akron, Ohio. Are you sure? Like, I'd be so excited. I'm like, I'd say, I'm from Ohio.
Starting point is 00:17:17 I'd love that for you. I don't know. People are just have strange reactions to things. Oh, man. My next one. This is from riley she her this is an aiden camera located somewhere in toronto this i feel like is the like this is perfect because i feel like this person is the opposite of the person that works at the camera store you gave. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:17:46 Physically and I guess somewhat other than that. They've never even heard of Montana. Exactly. Okay. One star. The only old man with fat tummy who's very rude and totally out of dated. He's not so ready to share his knowledge but would rather to look at how much you have left at your wallet end of review oh no you're
Starting point is 00:18:11 right those are polar opposites this person's not just shoehorning knowledge and trying to be smarter than you and also physically is a opposite Opposite. According to these descriptions. Not a tall, thin first lady of Montana. First lady of Montana, exactly. He's the king of... Canada. Canada. That's pretty cool.
Starting point is 00:18:34 He just wants... That is pretty cool. Classic king of Canada just wants what's in your wallet. Oh, yeah. That's funny. This is an email from Taylor, and this is of Dodd Camera. I mean, speaking of towns, this is in ohio never heard of it don't know how to say it s-o-l-o-n solon the fuck is that i don't know solon i go to the dodd in uh kenwood there's a dot up well that's not this one oh
Starting point is 00:19:02 apparently dot also is uh the Department of Developmental Disabilities. Oh. Ah, interesting. This is One Star Review by Indie. Useless. I visited the store today and asked if they carried a pen or pencil designed for writing on the back of a photograph. A male employee looked where he thought the item might be, then checked in the computer and finally asked another employee if Dodd Camera carried said item. Answer, no. Then came the useless part. The fellow suggested that I, quote, try Office Max a few
Starting point is 00:19:36 doors down or look in Hobby Lobby, the craft store just down the street. Seriously? An office supply store? A craft store? These people are idiots. Neither of the two suggested locations carry the product. I know, because I had already visited those specific stores. How dare they suggest I go to my first place
Starting point is 00:20:00 that I thought to go to. I'm glad you had that thought, because I was like, am I missing something? They're like, these two morons think it's a hobby lobby but i just checked i am also a moron what were they looking for a pen to write on the back of a photograph yeah like an archival ink pen i guess is a thing what i think it's like it doesn't oh archival pen for photographs yeah i don't know how i know that word. Maybe it's in this review somewhere. But I feel like I've heard of that term. Oh, I've never heard of that before.
Starting point is 00:20:29 Like being a thing. Well, you should certainly not check out a craft store or an office supply store or a Dodd camera because apparently they don't have it. Apparently. You could try the Department of Developmental Disorders. Yeah, they might have something. They might have it. Just go to Blick, Dick Blick.
Starting point is 00:20:47 What the fuck is Dick Blick? Oh, I don't want, don't click that. Oh, my God. Don't click that. No, they have, wow. The pen world is fascinating and terrifying. See, it's another hobby that I'm intimidated by. We're already overwhelmed by cameras, let alone the pens to write on.
Starting point is 00:21:05 It's true. Anytime I start a new hobby, which is a lot, I get very intimidated by all the people who know so much about it. The only place I felt safe is the craft world because I feel like people are just... I don't know what it is. Maybe they're just less...
Starting point is 00:21:21 I don't know. But any sort of sport or hobby like cameras or anything like that just intimidates me sports and general sports and cameras what's the other what's another one i don't know horseback riding no when are you dealing with that certainly never absolutely not that's when the actual horse is intimidating me not the people what about like uh bourbon lovers oh sure yeah blaze is in that whole world right now i don't even pretend like i know what's going on it's true like wine bourbon any of that and i feel like you being a woman in the bourbon thing would not go well it certainly wouldn't go well
Starting point is 00:22:01 i don't think and i honestly being a woman in many hobbies and interests would not go well. Which is starting to make sense why crafting is the only one I feel comfortable and safe. I'm like, it's so weird how when it comes to the cricket machine, I don't feel like anyone's really cruel or demeaning. I'm sorry. I mean, but weirdly, yeah. Not weirdly. I mean, it's very, like, probably very clear why that this is a thing. It's terrible.
Starting point is 00:22:27 But, like, yeah, that's just. Oh, wow. Here we are, getting to the bottom of society's large issues. I'm safe in the crafting world, you know. In sports and cameras, women avoid. Be careful. Okay. Okay, my next one. No, there's way more on there's more no i'm so sorry i'm so sorry sorry can you remind me of what's happening in this review
Starting point is 00:22:57 thank you then came the useless part the fella suggested that i try office max if you doors down or look in hobby Lobby, the craft store just down the street. Seriously? An office supply store? A craft store? These people are idiots. Neither of the two suggested locations carry the product. I know because I had already visited those specific stores and their websites. Nope. The item I'm looking for is photograph specific and archival in nature. It would be helpful if the employees were properly trained in the nuances of photography-related accessories and special tools. Rather than just blather a bunch of stupid comments, how about employees knowing that this is an archival product that may need to be purchased online?
Starting point is 00:23:46 And then be able to suggest three or four archival companies a short printed list where customers might check. Heaven forbid these dopes strengthen their hold in a niche photography market. This is why people shop online. The local help is the local help. Yikes. The local help is uninformed and unwilling to go the extra three inches. Is that a phrase? I don't think that's a phrase. That's a phrase from her own personal experience.
Starting point is 00:24:08 I've never heard it said that way. Okay, me neither. I think she's just exaggerating on... They won't go three inches, let alone a mile. Let alone the extra mile. Yeah, yeah. In the end, I purchased my item online with a three-week wait. Thanks for nothing, Dodd Camera.
Starting point is 00:24:24 End of review jesus really unnecessarily upset but okay and like the expectations are always so wild from these people yeah who like leave them alone and very specific so first of all niche photography is like somewhat niche but like not even that niche yeah because these camera stores are not just film photography they are general photography including lighting including video they develop prints they also do have accessories um but i feel like archival because like archival photography implies that it's like older photographs no am i like misunderstanding this is this for like that's what it sounds like for like uh organ maybe for organizing or storing your
Starting point is 00:25:11 photos okay but it just seems like such a that seems like a niche within yeah and i think that they're saying it is and they should know all about it but no they're saying photography is a niche but i feel like they're talking about a niche within a niche yeah yeah yeah and um also their complaint was that like the employees didn't know why don't you just google it if you like i don't know i just do you think they asked at hobby lobby too you should have probably check that local hobby lobby reviews yeah that's true they told me to go to Dodd Camera, morons. Those morons didn't know I already went to Dodd Camera. It's just they go back and forth.
Starting point is 00:25:48 They keep listening. Oh, so sad. Oh, so sad indeed. Next one here. This is from Esther Sheher, who has a review of Henry's in Toronto. Okay. This is a one-star review. If Nicolas Cage was a store,
Starting point is 00:26:08 Henry's would be it. Bad service, bad attitude, higher prices than you can get online. No thanks. End of review. Oh, wait. I was waiting for that
Starting point is 00:26:19 to make some sort of sense whatsoever. And not only did it not make sense from the beginning, it just got less sensical as it went like lost sense as it went i like i can sort of understand why a lay person might feel like they understand nicholas cage's attitude from a distance but like his his service being the first thing i don't know what kind of service and what was the last page is meant to be offering you. Oh, the best one.
Starting point is 00:26:46 Higher prices and you can get online. Yeah, what is that supposed to mean? I don't know. I don't know how it relates to Nicolas Cage at all. Oh. A photography store that's equivalent to Nicolas Cage. I feel like that'd be pretty interesting. I feel, i thought there was
Starting point is 00:27:05 going to be treasure inside it i'll be honest i thought it was going to be like this is a maze like some sort of weird national treasure reference i know what you're going for a national treasure yeah also famously has very random shit that he bought including really old like fossils fossils and stuff he's a i know eccentric character grave oh do you know yeah i do i don't oh really i know it's a big pyramid in a cemetery in new orleans that is like a traditional it's like st louis cemetery i forget which one um and he bought this plot and he had this big pyramid built like the bass pro shop pyramid i have no idea what that is what what is that it's a bass pro shop that's shaped like a pyramid um yeah it's sort of like that yeah and then on it it has um a saying inscribed in latin and when you google it it's a quote from National Treasure.
Starting point is 00:28:07 No way. I'm dead serious. That's so cool. And then he went, he bought a haunted house, the Lawlery Mansion. Oh, he owns that? Yeah, he bought it. And then he immediately went completely bankrupt. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:20 And into debt. And guess what? What? In Louisiana, the government can't take your final resting place, so he still has his pyramid. Oh, good. Thank goodness. So he basically lost everything but that fucking pyramid. Do you think he was living in there for a bit?
Starting point is 00:28:35 I don't think so. I think he was living in the Bass Pro Shops. Fair. But anyway, just to illustrate the point that when this person said, oh, this is the equivalent to a Nicolas Cage, I was thinking, whoa, what could be positively happening at this Toronto photography store? So many, is it? That's a problem is everything else was so like a boring, normal review. If they hadn't included that Nicolas Cage bit, they wouldn't be on this show. But maybe that's what their goal was eventually.
Starting point is 00:29:03 Maybe they need to learn a little bit about Nicolasolas cage there's that new movie out yeah we're not sponsored by it though so so we're not going to tell you about it at all because i and i also forget the name something about things about how being talented yeah unnecessarily talented i don't think that's right i don don't think that's right at all. The like weight. Okay. The unbearable weight of massive talent. I was close.
Starting point is 00:29:31 What did you say? No, you weren't. Unnecessarily talented. That sounds so negative. So does the unbearable weight of massive talent. Okay. Anyway, this is not sponsored by the unbearable weight of massive talent it is however sponsored by unnecessarily talented i already forgot what i called it
Starting point is 00:29:53 okay this is of a camera shop slash lab called dale laboratories in hollywood florida this is a three-star view by carissa great quality prints however the customer service there is next to nothing it is so sad that such rude people work at such a great printing place when i asked if there's anything else I can do to get my prints on time, Susan, an employee, says to me, I can draw a picture for you. That's hilarious. Susan's been there before.
Starting point is 00:30:38 Susan knows what's up. Don't lecture me on life about how I should have had them ordered sooner. How about you treat your customers with respect and maybe you'll get some back. End of review. Why does it have to go that way first? You can be disrespectful up until, I don't know. I can draw a picture for you. That's hilarious.
Starting point is 00:30:59 Maybe not the nicest thing to say. It's not very nice. So funny. But it's very funny. It's a very dad joke for Susan to make, you know. It feels very fed up with customers who are, who, like, everyone wants it to be done as quickly as possible, of course. Right. So, like, why, what makes any of us special, you know, to get that?
Starting point is 00:31:19 That's what Susan gets, you know. She gets that. Yeah. Susan gets me. Okay. I have another one from esther this is of downtown camera i believe also in toronto god is this your third one in toronto it sure is uh one star who does toronto think they are fancy camera people oh such snobs. Here we go.
Starting point is 00:31:46 This is a one-star review by Caitlin. Normally, my experiences at Downtown Camera had been positive. I do some printing there, purchase some gear, etc. That in mind, I went to drop off a resume for some extra cash.
Starting point is 00:32:02 At first, everything was well, but the gentleman I gave my resume started to edit it in front of me. Not spelling or grammar, just how he would have done my resume. Not only was it rude and incredibly unprofessional, it was embarrassing to be done in front of other customers. You lost an otherwise loyal customer.
Starting point is 00:32:22 I'll gladly take my business elsewhere. And guess wait potential employee yeah wait what they started editing who are these listen here's the thing no wonder we're intimidated by camera people they don't they don't give a fuck that's what i was saying when i when i saw this theme from erin i was like, this could be weird. Like, I don't know what the reviewers are. You're right that it's weird. The employees are like next level. I mean, first of all, like there's.
Starting point is 00:32:51 So fed up with shit. First lady of Montana is just like, yeah, bet. Name some fucking cities in Montana. And he's like, well, I'm not okay. And then there's like fucking, I'll draw your picture. Draw your picture, Carissa. It's so stupid. And now there's a so
Starting point is 00:33:06 it wasn't even spelling and grammar it was just like i would put this uh section up here this is embarrassing that's so sad i would be i would be beside myself mortified if someone did that to me beside myself can you imagine then the next day they get a call like we'd love to have you in for an interview it's like um what if this leads to some uh great opportunities now that now that sam whatever camera is off the list now that the resume is better maybe the resume yeah i think it improved for sure yeah i think it improved for sure okay so this is of alexander uh-oh this is my last one okay oh wait no it's not i actually put one after it to make sure it wasn't oh thank god okay i have two more so it's perfect okay so this is called this is of sammy's camera in la which you've heard in there yeah um was your experience good it It wasn't terrible.
Starting point is 00:34:06 Okay. But another place where I was intimidated, so I spent as little time as possible. Yeah, so it's just a California chain. There's a few locations in California. This is a one-star review by Moe. This was under not recommended reviews. Can't imagine why. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:34:29 And also, I will add, I don't think this person's first language is English. And so I'm going to try to read it as much as what they're intending to say. But there are certain things that I'm just going to leave as is. I come into the Sammy's store every week or two weeks. I always buy in each of my visits. In 30 years, I bought more than... Okay, now this is the first hiccup I have. It says dollar sign 1-0-0-0.
Starting point is 00:34:58 So like 1,000 comma 0-0-0. So now we could be talking one million dollars yeah we could be talking one thousand dollars ten thousand we could be talking any sort of combination of these there are a lot of combinations here because when you said comma i was like okay other countries use the comma instead of the decimal but then when there were three zeros but they don't put three zeros at the end right no so so i'm a little confused i assume it's a thousand if it's a million dollars i i have a lot of questions for this guy okay maybe maybe that was like the loophole that got this put into oh maybe all it took was that extra zero and he says it again in the next sentence the same way.
Starting point is 00:35:45 Oh, weird. Like, written the same way, so it wasn't an accident, I don't think. Is there a place that maybe does put three zeros for something? Maybe. I don't know how that would make any sense. Like, genuinely maybe, but I have no clue. But I can't imagine it's a thousand. For 30 years worth of buying cameras, lenses, ink, and photo paper, it has to be more than a thousand.
Starting point is 00:36:04 Even if you're not exaggerating, and I'm certain this person probably is. Should I say thousands? Thousands. I like that. In 30 years, I have bought thousands of dollars in cameras, lenses, ink, and photo paper. I'm writing the truth. You are welcome to check it out in your system.
Starting point is 00:36:22 Okay, maybe it is a million. Maybe it is 1,000 and 0, 0, 0. 1,000, 0, 0. Christina, what is happening? I don't know, but it gave me a headache. It's giving me one too. I am writing the truth, which is always when you know they're writing the truth. You are welcome to check it out in your system.
Starting point is 00:36:41 And I can buy another thousands of dollars for the next 10 years or less if their employees were not mean to me. I go to the GM Ray and complain about it. The third floor manager, Fernando. Fernando does a terrible job. Fernando steps away while I was talking to him. Yells at me for taking a bag of flyers. I explained to him that it is more than 20 years that I pick up flyers for my students. After a few minutes, he apologized. Three months after, he stepped away again while I'm talking to him. This means missing education and disrespectful attitude. I don't want to come to a place where I'm cursed and disrespected. Last week, October 30th, 2017, I complained with Ray about the manager Fernando's attitude
Starting point is 00:37:21 because he stepped away while I was talking to him. It is 20 years that I come in the store. I always buy in each of my visits to Sammy's. Unfortunately, Walter doesn't work anymore and the others I know too. I'm nice to Ray. I want to build a relationship with him. I asked him if he can give me better prices on the cameras and he says that some prices are locked. I say that I need better prices for the used ones. He says, used ones, don't worry, come to me. I will give you the prices. Monday, November 6, 2017. I wait for him more than five hours,
Starting point is 00:37:52 but he didn't show up. Today, November 7, 2017. I greet him. I shake his hand and he always tilts my hand down. I take it as an offense. He tries to put me down. I sincerely smile at him. And he is mad at me.
Starting point is 00:38:06 Because he says that he got in trouble last time because he gave me a better price. While I'm talking to him, he keeps blaming me that he is in trouble. And he steps away from me exactly like Fernando. I told him that. Now I saw where it comes from. Anyway, Jesus is nice to me, so I decided to buy anyway jesus goes in the back to get the cameras and when he comes out he says you know what ray doesn't want to sell them to me this is unfair my students are waiting and ray didn't want to sell to me what a bummer okay this this little
Starting point is 00:38:38 section i put big question marks because i don't know what he's trying to say i already don't know basically what's happening this part i already don't know basically what's happening this part i definitely don't so let me know if you get it for ray's fault i can't accomplish to my students who wants to keep around a person who makes you less who wants to keep around a person who makes you in a possible way to not accomplish to people who trust in you stop just in my brain the rest i like i got the gist this one with i think the word accomplish is where i'm like struggling i think they're kind of just saying like a bad apple spoils the bunch yeah like why would you keep this person around if he's costing you business right okay and i'm
Starting point is 00:39:18 gonna i gotta say it sounds like this person does bring a lot of business to the like talking about having students like i assume like there's a lot of business to the, like, talking about having students. Like, I assume, like, there's a lot of business that comes into Sammy's. Granted, Sammy's is a pretty big chain, I think, but I can't imagine. But especially if he's getting flyers to give to his students, you know? Yeah. Okay, so it's sort of creepy that you just, like, honed in directly on Moe's. Christina, I get Moe.
Starting point is 00:39:44 Are you ready for the next one? I feel like Moe and I could chat about this. Are you ready? Yes. Ray is a rutting apple. Oh, no way! Oh my god! And it's spelled R-U-T-T-E-N. Ray is a rutting apple.
Starting point is 00:40:00 Shame. I work to build a relationship with him and he steps away from me and he puts prohibition on me to buy the cameras. I look at Sammy's business and ask, how long can this last? I give less than two years before they start to shoot their stores down. If I was an employee in this inconsistent environment, I would start to look for a better opportunity. Conclusion. The GM is not looking to motivate employees and build relationships with clients. He is looking to make himself bigger, unfortunately, without succeeding. Ray Nielsen is only a loser, uneducated, disrespectful person who needs to stay
Starting point is 00:40:30 away from clients and public relationships. I call loser a person who takes my trust and steps on it. He asks me to talk to him when I need a better price in the cameras. And when I talk to him, he gets mad at me, blame me for something wrong that I didn't do and steps away from me. Sammy is using his business to discharge the hate his wife and or family put in him. That's why his employees put their hate on me. Shame on you. I will be happy to circulate my money in an environment
Starting point is 00:40:57 where there are employees that give me consideration and show me some respect. Shame at Sammy, Sammy's camera, and Sammy's camera management. You hit me when I open my heart on you. Oh. I know, it gets really sad. You hit me when I open my heart on you
Starting point is 00:41:14 and my friendship, Sammy loser. Do not try to answer my review by saying that you dropped the balls. I already heard it from your Culver City manager, Ben, a few months ago. He also adds that the bad attitude doesn't come from Sammy's. It is a pathetic lie. The fish stink from the head. I complain in Sammy's corporate office on Bellston Street. One person says that Sammy already left for the day. Another
Starting point is 00:41:34 person says that he is in a meeting upstairs and he sends David to talk to me. Sammy is made of pure lies. Sammy is not the correct name. You forgot to add an H. Sammy is not the correct name. You forgot to add an H. Shammy? Oh, Christina, okay. This has gone off the fucking rails. There's more.
Starting point is 00:41:52 No. You forgot to add an H. Shammy is the correct name. Today, Wednesday, November 8th, 2017, 10.15 a.m. Shammy called me. I asked him if he has five minutes for me, and he says yes. I explained him all the story. i'm kindly and cordial and after three minutes he says that he has a conference call and he can't talk to me and he just cut me off shame at you never regret anything in my life today i
Starting point is 00:42:14 regret giving you business for 30 years some of your employees act exactly like you shammy loser the good ones need to look for better opportunities they are wasted at shammy camera end of review this is a person scorned like yeah yes this this is like someone who wow this is a full 180 of how they probably felt about sammy's camera i know it makes me sad it does make me sad because like clearly they really cared about this business and this seems so personal this whole thing yes holy shit i'm very sad and the stepping away thing i wonder if that was intentional that maybe they walked away while he was talking yeah i don't know but anyway it just it was i only i only kept it because the ending just went so off the rails with shammy and all that certainly did also anytime that there was
Starting point is 00:43:03 like a like a when i open my heart on you then discharge the hate his wife and or family all of that was always in capitals with quotes around it as if he were quoting someone um which i think he was quoting himself i'm not sure anyway yikes um oh shammy but if they're looking for testimonial they could take this quote sammy's is made of pure lies end quote they could use that if they wanted see like then i started to not realize if he was talking about the business or the person me neither so i'm like is he talking about the person being made of lies because his wife because the owner is sammy so i and he literally has responded to reviews on here so like he's very much still involved in the business and everything so i don't know if i'm with you i don't know if shami is the man now or the company
Starting point is 00:43:51 oh my god oh gosh anyway my next review is of dodds dodd camera in uh here in cincinnati cool place i go to and by go to i mean once a year when I actually have film ready and I'm not being lazy. Okay. Two stars. Walked in, looked around, waited for anyone to at least greet me. The salesperson walks around me and says, excuse me, sir. Huh? No. Hello. Welcome. We'll be right with you. Just that you're in my way tone. Walked out. I'm so done with these local camera shops.
Starting point is 00:44:34 In this economy, you'd think they'd care a little more about every person that walks through their door. Why waste my time and gas just to be ignored? We'll never go back buying everything online from now on. End of review. At Amazon, where they really care about me as a customer. And for being so, like, annoyed and stuff, they still have two stars. I don't know what it would have taken to take one star. I mean, the fact that they even called you sir.
Starting point is 00:45:00 Like, I feel like that alone is, like, relatively polite, right? Like, excuse me, sir. Yeah. It's not like, get out of my way you know i'm like supposedly had a get you're in my way tone sure sure sure sure sure so they must have been like excuse me sir yeah that's exactly how it would go that sounds like what what happened um also i mean we've talked about this many times i don't really like when people talk to me oh whenever i go into dodd camera i hope no one approaches me because if they have questions i won't even know how to answer them myself let alone and also let alone know what questions to ask them right i don't know what
Starting point is 00:45:42 the fuck i'm doing if i need help yes i feel like then i will go over and be like hi yeah i have a question usually when i'm there i just walk around and wait for inspiration to strike so i can spend money on something i don't need does it ever happen no oh cool no just like i want that person just screams like i need more attention like why don't they care about me in this economy? In this economy, they still don't care about me? This was nine years ago. Oh, yikes. Good luck.
Starting point is 00:46:12 All right, this is a review of Woodland Hills Camera in Woodland Hills, California. Nice. This is a one star by Steven. My wife and I went there to educate ourselves about a type of camera. We are novice when it comes to cameras. Steven. Oh, is it now well he's from calabasas ever heard of it um yes for those of you who don't know this reminded me of the aspen guy basically yes like oh it reminded me of this time in aspen it's like no one asked but um calabasas is a wealthy suburb of Los Angeles where the Kardashians live. A lot of celebrities live there in like newer build mansions.
Starting point is 00:47:31 And so, you know, like if you're telling people out of nowhere, unprompted that you live in Calabasas, there's probably a reason for it. Yeah. And to say I'm telling I live nearby in calabasas and i will tell everyone there like all the wealthy all the kardashians who want to go buy new camera equipment not to go to woodland hills camera oh my god um so anyway and so i imagine steven knows a tennis snob when he a camera snob when he sees one since he's has so much experience with tennis snobs probably being a snob himself right sure yeah my final one is a redemption cool this is from sarah she her who actually sent this in july of 2021 oh wait i have one more should i read that before oh sure i forgot i had this one at the end it's a negative okay okay go for it so this is a
Starting point is 00:48:24 two can wait sorry sarah this is a two-star review by johnny and this is also of woodland hills camera i don't write reviews it takes a great deal of frustration when i do write up a review however this is unsavory i shoot on film i also work for the biggest celebrity photographers and magazines in town. I have the most highest-end digital equipment and lighting that this store could not even know how to use, let alone sell. If there is a guy that knows digital photography and business of making beauty for huge clients, it's me. Their in-house stock is tailored to the casual shooter, which business-wise makes sense since there are more soccer moms than Leibovitzes, so that makes sense. I don't knock them for that.
Starting point is 00:49:08 I knock... You literally are. I knock them for trying to make an 88% profit on my film processing. They outsource all the film processing to Darkroom and Northridge. Processing and scan usually charges $16 a roll for a $1.20 film, which comes out to $48 for three rolls. But if you have Woodland Hills Camera Deer film, which they outsource to the same spot, your bill for that is going to be $82. If I didn't know the cost of Darkroom and I didn't know that's where they took it, I'd be blinded by ignorance and would have forked it over.
Starting point is 00:49:39 But only because I called them on it did they retract, and in the end I paid $48 for the film and processing. Now, if they are willing to overcharge that much to turn over a profit, what else are they? Are they trying to do to add charges and make extra profits? I believe being truthful in the small things, like that you're the biggest celebrity client. I believe being truthful in the small things is indicative in the big things. And with film in the sunset of its life being a small, small percentage of any camera shop's overall business, what are they doing with the bigger ticket items?
Starting point is 00:50:17 They just lost a customer that regularly shoots even his big clients on film. And most of my friends who know me ask me advice since I work in that world. And I'm going to recommend that they go elsewhere for products and supplies. End of review okay I'm not gonna say that I know anything about how camera stores work I'm not even at like soccer mom level but I feel like this is like saying oh the movie theater they charge this much for concessions like this much up for concessions what else are they overcharging us for you know like everything yeah like the bigger stuff i mean that no that's just where they make the money right it's the same with like i don't know gas station you go to buy um like the gas prices they're not making much money off of the gas itself they're making money
Starting point is 00:51:02 off of like what's inside their store slim so like if you're like oh my god why are mike and ike so much more expensive at the gas station i can get them for uh three for two dollars at cvs or something i don't know this is ridiculous like imagine what they're overcharging for other stuff it's like no they just they have money that they need money to pay for things right well and i imagine the process of sending it out outsourcing it somewhere cost them time and money and transportation so it's like yeah they're outsourcing it somewhere probably because they can't do it there yeah and and why if it's it's probably for convenience too like if if you're going to woodland hills to do it
Starting point is 00:51:42 then maybe there's a reason yeah then. Then go to Northridge yourself. You might as well go to Northridge and do it. If there are more soccer moms, then I can't get over this. Oh, that was so, so annoying. That was so annoying. I work for the biggest celebrity photographers and magazines in town. OK, whatever that means. What does this person do, though?
Starting point is 00:52:01 Literally no idea. Maybe they're just the assistant because they did say I work for this photographer they're not saying that they are one of the best photographers they did say um most of my friends who know me ask my advice i don't know weird um they're no soccer mom we know that god forbid okay my last one before the challenge is from Sarah. And Sarah sent it before this was even a theme. So thank you, Sarah. Nice. It's from like a year ago.
Starting point is 00:52:32 This is a review of Phototech. I'm not even sure where it is, but it's a five-star review. Great place. And Germans don't always give five- ratings thumbs up emoji end of review stop oh my god it's true yeah these germans do but yeah i assume most germans don't sarah said not the best submission but made me laugh and think of you also honored five-star german submission thank you. Wow. Just some goofy little thing to end it on. What a palate cleanser.
Starting point is 00:53:09 We needed that. We needed that. Hey, if a German can give five stars to a camera store, so can you people. If only our parents would give us five stars. So true. Someday, maybe. That was great. that was great alright my challenge
Starting point is 00:53:28 comes from Samantha and it was to find reviews where the color of the product affects the review good or bad bonus points if the color is irrelevant to the product's performance I forgot which was not always the case with my thing okay but some
Starting point is 00:53:44 of them definitely color is irrelevant but some color is like the whole point so great here we go uh first i'm gonna start out with a classic email from monica monica who is a member of the hog pen who we met at uh our live show and her sweet baby dwarf hamster, Bo, who passed recently. No. So rest in peace, Bo. I miss Bo so much and I'm dedicating this all to Bo. So there is a bath that she bought for Bo on Amazon and you don't get to choose the color. bow uh on amazon and you don't get to choose the color so it's two different colors and people were upset when they only got one and not the other of course they were so here is a
Starting point is 00:54:35 three-star review this is of the katie small animal ceramic critter bath ideal for dwarf hamsters and gerbils color may vary and there are two pictures one is yellow and one is like a purplish here's a three-star review i think it was very cute but unfortunately i had to return it because i was hoping to get the purple one but i ended up getting the yellow. I really hope there would be an option where you can choose a color so you don't have to keep purchasing in hopes to get the color you want, which shouldn't have to happen to anybody. End of review. Wait, so they're just going to keep returning it? That's what they said. And hoping that it comes back the right color?
Starting point is 00:55:19 You buy 10, return like 9 or 10? Actually, that might be a smarter idea. Just buy a bunch. Buy a bunch and then like the odds are one of them will be the right color is that how odds work no probably not probably not uh here's another one three stars cute but i thought i would get a pink one got an ugly yellow sand comes out when the hamster rolls around inside. End of review. Okay, I'm starting to think maybe they only have yellow left
Starting point is 00:55:50 and they're advertising it as the purple one to be like, oh, who knows what color you'll get. Yep, here's one more two star. So if you do buy 10, you might get 10 yellow ones. Yeah, you might. This one's titled, didn't want yellow frowny face. Oh no. Two stars.
Starting point is 00:56:04 Was hoping for any color besides yellow since it says random but i have a feeling it just is yellow so beware you'll get yellow that's a review that's where my mind is going guess what christina what someone wanted yellow monica no that would be hilarious um monica included a photo of bow in his critter bath and it's a purple one look how okay that's a baby very cute i mean i'll be honest i would have wanted the purple one as right it's a good color uh wow so monica got the purple one yeah good for her next i've got honestly if she wants to she could probably sell that to someone one of these reviewers true a little markup pretty penny pretty penny
Starting point is 00:56:49 my next one is from natalie uh-huh who says hey bebop parentheses bad boy of podcasting no and then brackets insert sax solo here hashtag sexy stuff with a saxophone emoji and musical notes why do you do this people and it's funny listen to this i posted this to the patreon facebook group back in march and just deleted the post since it's applicable to your challenge oh i thought they meant they they posted bebop saxophone whatever the fuck i was like i don't find i think relevant is the wrong word here but um also who do you think of when you hear bebop barney isn't there a character in barney baby bop okay and bj yep it's uh it's all she her by the way uh i checked and neither you nor Xteen reacted to it. And given how many reviews you guys probably read on a daily basis, I'm fairly confident it will be new to the both of you.
Starting point is 00:57:51 Peace out, Bussin Beansprout. Jesus, what is she doing? Natalie. She's just putting it all in one fell swoop. So here's a review. This is of the Lilacs, spelled L-I-Li-l-a-x reminds me of like laxatives yeah it does sound like laxative just wait till what it is lilacs baby boys basic long sleeve v-neck classic knit cardigan sweater oh so it's like for a baby boy a cardigan okay baby boy sure here we go this is a one-star review titled not for boys
Starting point is 00:58:29 oh okay is this on amazon uh yeah this is on amazon i'm okay with the color it's not deep navy blue but it's okay but really this is not a boy's sweater it has a girl look and also the tag is pink and the edge around the neck looks like girl style i don't recommend this product and the fabric is too cheap end of review literally the tag is pink and that's like oh my god it's not it's it's the part that you were they included a picture of the tag um oh you mean like the tag you cut off? Yes. Not like the tag in the back?
Starting point is 00:59:07 Oh, no. The one you cut off. Oh, my God. They included it and it says lilacs style and it has like flowers and is like curvy and like cute, whatever. And it has pink on it. But that's part you take off. Okay. It's so ridiculous.
Starting point is 00:59:23 2022, people. This was in 2021, Christina.cember of 2021 sorry sorry we weren't quite to this advanced year that we found ourselves in society has progressed so much since december so much um that's that one so both of those the color irrelevant irrelevant like the the color of the tag being pink and then of course the color of that bath was uh irrelevant now we're going to go into one where it was relevant because this is one i found so i guess i didn't get bonus points for this one uh this is a one star review of of the Flower Beauty Miracle Matte Liquid Lip Color. Vividly bold and creaseless matte liquid lipstick. Comfortable all day, high-impact makeup color.
Starting point is 01:00:14 And I believe this color that is being reviewed is Almost Nude is the name of the color. One star. Titled Ugly and Terrible. Ugly and Terrible. Yeah terrible the ugliest color ever makes me look like a ghost with no lips it also instantly makes your lips peel i'm disappointed in celebrities who are advertising this product zero stars end of review today's episode sponsor today's episode sponsor is almost nude peeling lipstick what is this oh no why did they put a photo here's another one to prove it yeah well they proved it they look like a ghost with no lips it just wasn't their color what brand is this
Starting point is 01:01:02 flower beauty is the name of it. Okay, so it's... What celebrity is promoting this product, by the way? I just feel like this is one of those random Amazon products. Like, I've never... I'm doing, like, a really quick scroll to see if I can, like... A celebrity pops out in other reviews or something, but I don't see anything. I don't know. It's probably just, like, yeah...
Starting point is 01:01:22 What did you say? Did you say someone? Like, an Instagram influencer is what I was thinking. No, I said me. I said we're... Oh, it's probably just like yeah what did you say did you say someone like an Instagram influencer is what I was thinking no I said me I said we're oh it's probably you it's our sponsor yeah it will be yeah on the podcast I assume it's like some Instagram influencer we're not even getting paid we just got a free almost nude tube stick you know it's for my ghost costume your Halloween my lipless ghost costume also like I'm sorry i know i get it like if it's an ugly color but if you're buying a nude lipstick like that's just a risk you're gonna yeah you know what i mean the thing is like i not that i know i've i've i've never purchased
Starting point is 01:01:59 lipstick but aside from your halloween costume for. But, like, I assume it's one of those things where, like, what's on your lips is what you ordered. Like, you ordered this. Right, right, right. It's not like they're complaining that the color was different. Right. It was just that, oh, this looks bad on me, one star. Right, right. Like, that doesn't seem fair.
Starting point is 01:02:21 It doesn't quite seem fair. And I feel like I've seen it where people say, oh, if you have this complexion, this doesn't look good or whatever. I hear you look at your nipples. What? That's a thing. What? What's a thing? You look at the color of your nipples and that's a good lip color.
Starting point is 01:02:41 I saw that on the internet. Nipple lip color. I'm Googling it. That's a way for people to try and get pictures on the internet that's just a nipple lip color that's a way for people to try and get pictures on the internet to swatch it you know that's the new what the new that's what i saw on the local news send them to me there's a local news article teens now scamming others i'll swatch your nipple for you no i did i i actually have seen that that is a thing online is it accurate i don't know on local cbs news or like in real no like i don't know what real is but i just mean you know how they say like teens are now trying to eat laundry powder or whatever i think this one's a little different than that i watch a lot of local news
Starting point is 01:03:27 i think this one's a little bit different than that there's a business insider article christina okay well then so it's gotta be right now we're talking um but yeah no there was that onion article or that onion video the youtube video from years ago and it was like a local news station i think i made you watch this probably is why it came up in your head of these boy scouts these two kids or something and they're doing free breast exams it's like these two teen boys that might be where my mind why why yeah we do it in our basement like they're just like yeah just come on by and we'll do it for free and then news anchors like oh i really need one. And he's like, come on by. I'd love to.
Starting point is 01:04:05 Dear God. Yeah. Okay. Maybe that's what I was thinking. It's so funny. Anyway, it does feel like one of those things. But you know when the local news is like, the new teen scare. And they're trying to pull one over on their parents.
Starting point is 01:04:16 And it's like, that's made up. They're taking their nipples out at Ulta to check lip colors. They're flashing the Ulta employees. Okay, Alexander, that's an interesting fun fact you've shared with us that I kind of hope is not true. Please don't DM me if that worked for you. I don't need to know. We don't really need the details anyway. But I wish you luck, everybody.
Starting point is 01:04:41 Yeah. Here's... I spend too much time on the internet. Yeah, I could have told you that. I'm glad you're finally coming to your senses. Okay, so here's a... You should watch more local news like I do. That's where I get my entertainment.
Starting point is 01:04:54 I watched the local news yesterday because I was watching hockey, I think, the Stanley Cup. Congratulations, Avs fans. Yay. It ended and then they played like playing the local news but i was like busy so i didn't change it dangerous then i lasted like one minute and i couldn't watch it anymore it's rough it wasn't it was so rough i don't miss that okay anyway you don't miss what watching the local news we used to i feel like when we were younger yeah we did because because it was just where else would you get your news it was just on and like yeah and snow day stuff oh true i like that they'd be like there have been 18 shootings
Starting point is 01:05:29 the last two hours and roe v wade is overturned but fiona the hippo is getting a sibling and you're like yay yay all right here is a review of bowery hill storage end table in dark brown and antique white it is an end table on amazon yes classic and here's a three-star review titled not white yeah it's antique you nailed it christina this person did not i've done a lot of furniture shopping in my day the color is all wrong not white or antique white it's a very ugly color. Sort of a yellowish brown, but seems well made. I was just shocked when I first saw the color. I thought it was the ugliest color, but I'm used to looking at it and it doesn't seem so bad now.
Starting point is 01:06:18 End of review. What? Wait. It's like Stockholm Syndrome from this color. The color of this end table. I've been held ransom by this end table for several weeks now, and I feel like we're on the same page. I will say they included pictures. I compared the picture to the listings picture.
Starting point is 01:06:38 It is noticeably darker. It is noticeably darker. I feel like you can get away with a lot if you say antique yeah like you could probably just give them any color be like no no it's antique they have a picture of it next to like a distressed white stool and it's like it's that one on the left yeah yeah it does not look white yellow it's not even close to white so i'm kind of with them. Well, you're not with them anymore because they're kind of into it now. True, true. They've kind of been forced into liking it.
Starting point is 01:07:12 That's so sad. Like, you can return that. Yeah. Amazon will help you with that. It was like over $200, too. Jeez. So, I don't know. It was like $300.
Starting point is 01:07:21 $292. Oh, my God. At least right now. Maybe not when they bought it. I don't know but all right my next one is of asia horse acrylic argb led strip for pc with five volt three pin argb led and four pin header compatible with oro sync gigabyte rgb fusion msi mystic light sync parentheses 280 millimeters this is a light bar so it is a bar that you plug into your computer and it's like long and thin and it lights up in different
Starting point is 01:07:56 colors it can be rainbow it can be different colors what but it's so much more than that is it though did you not read the listing i unfortunately did oh my god um a headache unfortunately jason says one star not as pictured at all oh here we go this strip is not black it is a bluish greenish gray it does not match with white or black not what i expected from the pic which makes it look black. Where I plan to put these is too visible and everything is black and white. These look like crud, honestly. I wish it
Starting point is 01:08:32 was clear there were not black, but some weird color of gray, green, blue. I also don't get why this color would be used. It's super weird. Like the skin of a fish or something. End of review. What?
Starting point is 01:08:45 Ew. I mean, talk about painting a picture for the audience, but. Yeah. He's not black, which is what it looks kind of looks like in the picture. But also now that I see his picture and like the original, it doesn't look black, actually. Is his room like all black and white is that what's happening the whole point i think he's making is his setup of his desk his computer his monitors etc all of it is either black or white like he's got this color scheme going which
Starting point is 01:09:18 i get as someone who sure you know whatever i had bought custom leds for my pc back in the day well you're but yours was fish skin yes theme themed this is before you're vegan obviously yeah that's why yeah fish skin theme yeah big big big into fish skin yeah just it's just good omega it's you know sure so this person's problem is that not that the colors that the light so the whole point of this is the led lights right and his problem is with the bar yeah the lights are on the material being fish skin sure and now that i'm looking like at all the ads all the pictures and stuff the bar is not black like it shows the bar that's yeah looks fish skin i'm trying to realize it looks like my walls almost now i'm a little it's paler okay i'm a little nervous that maybe i subconsciously no no still your aesthetic they're not green that your walls are green this is like
Starting point is 01:10:15 like blue green gray you do well with this though like if you just put this led light just stuck it on the wall i might maybe above squidward's head okay yeah hey hey what if i put it above dilbert to light up my display you should yeah you should i think he he needs it is there candy in there there's never candy in there why did you just grab it show it off oh there's no point in no point if there's no candy well i fill it with candy when i want to eat candy i always want to eat candy so i don't understand like that's why it's always gone but i'm not impressed empty yeah i empty. Yeah, I know. I'm sad about it.
Starting point is 01:11:08 Put some Mike and Ikes in there. Okay. I hear they're two for... Three for $2 at CBS. Three for $2 at CBS. CBS does have great deals like that sometimes, unlike the movie theater candy. That's true. Anyway, I have two more.
Starting point is 01:11:20 They're both five stars, I think. Yes. Redemptions. Redemptions. Okay. This next one is of the Texas Instruments TI-30X IIS Scientific Calculator Pretty Pink. It is a bright fucking pink. Oh, it's finally a calculator for girls.
Starting point is 01:11:37 Right. No wonder I'm so bad at math. Here is a five star review titled Completely completely theft proof this is oh wait that's funny oh yeah i like this already here we go i purchased this calculator because it is required for my chemistry courses in college i'm a return student and i remember how rampant theft was slash is on college campuses i also happen to be somewhat absent-minded and sometimes leave items like this calculator on the seat or table where I was last using it. Well, I didn't want to have to replace this ever,
Starting point is 01:12:12 and just writing my name on it didn't seem like it would be enough. College students rarely care about that sort of thing. So I decided to get the worst color possible. The color that no one actually wanted to be seen using. Thus, the purchase of the bubblegum pink calculator happened. I'm happy to say that it worked. I've accidentally left this thing in the classroom as well as in the library and the food court on campus multiple times, and it is always there when I return to collect it. This awful color has made this calculator totally theft-proof.
Starting point is 01:12:48 It's seriously everything I could ever have wanted from a calculator. Even my husband won't use it at home when there's no one else there but him. Oh my god. Absolutely pleased with my purchase and hopefully I will never have to purchase again. Oh, the calculating part works great. No issues there either.
Starting point is 01:13:00 End of review. It's so weird because the husband wears his lilacs cardigan at home but he just won't use that calculator it's like what is the where's the line um i love that idea i find it pretty ingenious to pick a wild color that nobody's gonna want to steal and that won't be super discreet yeah because i assume if you see someone using it. Okay, like a kid in middle school stole my watch. Like I left it down somewhere, but like he took it and then started wearing it.
Starting point is 01:13:33 Yep. It wasn't a good looking watch. It was a very specific watch. And I saw him wearing it. I'm like, that's my watch. And eventually he gave in and gave it back. He's like, actually, he's like, no, that's my watch. I think he was like, well, fine, you can have it. As if like actually he's like no that's my watch i think
Starting point is 01:13:45 he was like well fine you can have it as if like this is my gift i bequeath this on to you so i held a grudge for a while over that one i still i'm still mad at him i think about that at least twice a year you remember who it was yes of course i remember who it was just checking i mean i've recently followed up on this person me too things are getting wild um anyway that'll be an episode for a different show on a different podcast okay so um uh yeah pink calculator love it and now i've got one more i think it's really silly the husband doesn't use it i think that's so i find that to be kind of a red flag i hope it's pink flag i hope it's not even not for that husband's sake yikes um no i uh i hope it's an exaggeration or something or like a joke i do too um so here's my last one uh this is a fashion
Starting point is 01:14:37 idol boho twist crochet hair five packs 26 inches long bohemian river senegalese crochet hair with curly hair river twist braids curly ends natural black hair extension hair extensions oh my god sometimes there's so many words that i like don't know what it is you don't even i know oh i exactly know which is why you get like over inundated with information and you're like almost drowning in it. It is. It is overwhelming. So yeah, here is a review of these hair extensions. Five stars. The color they got was brown and gray. Use this hair for goddess locks and absolutely love it. Searching for same color to order again.
Starting point is 01:15:18 I receive many, many compliments on color. The only downside is hair is rather coarse slash itchy. Totally worth it, however. I was trying to describe why this color is so glorious and adored by many, and all I could describe it as, it's like being an arctic mermaid. End of review. Oh, I love it! It's a cute, and they included a cute selfie. Oh my god! It looks great! It's fun, so that's it. Wow! I was worried that it was going to get into like being ugly color or something. Included a cute selfie. Oh my god. It looks great. It's fun. So that's it. Wow.
Starting point is 01:15:49 I was worried that it was going to get into like being ugly color or something. Oh no. It's a five star. What was the complaint? That it was. It was just coarse and itchy. What do you mean? Was the.
Starting point is 01:15:58 Sorry. Never mind. Was it like. Was it like they were complaining. Or it was the wrong color or something? No. Oh okay. They love the color. I thought that was the challenge or it was the wrong color or something? No. Oh, okay. They love the color. I thought that was the challenge.
Starting point is 01:16:07 What was the challenge? The challenge was where it says, review where the color of the product affects the review, good or bad. Oh, okay. I thought it was like they complained about the color, so I was worried that they were going to pull a thing like the other person where they said, oh, this is the ugliest color on the planet, and I love it. Oh, no, no, no.
Starting point is 01:16:24 The calculator. It's supposed to be good or bad i see that's why i ended on that one because i wanted it to be good that's excellent you're sitting there like why isn't this bad give me the bad stuff no i wanted to make sure that i'm sorry i was like what's the complaint i'm sorry i'm only here for the complaints i'm sorry i'm just kidding there's not enough negativity in this room i know what you're saying. That was my last one. That was great. So thanks to y'all for helping with that one. Samantha, thanks for the challenge.
Starting point is 01:16:49 That was a very fun challenge, I gotta say. I'm into it. Next week is your challenge already set, whatever it is, I forget. And then we're doing children's beds. And then the week after that, it's whatever patrons decide for the theme. Okay. And we'll probably give a challenge next week maybe okay cool or just between us if we want to record earlier we'll
Starting point is 01:17:09 figure it out but okay you'll hear about it soon y'all you'll hear about it eventually when we hear about it you'll hear about it when we hear about it all righty thanks y'all bye you

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