Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 229: Reviews of Weed

Episode Date: April 19, 2023

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Offer ends June 30th, 2024. New eligible clients only. Complete criteria by August 30th, 2024. Visit rbc.com slash student 100. Welcome to Beach to Sandy, Water to Wet. A podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. We're rolling. High on life. Hello, everyone. High on life.

We're rolling. High on life. Hello, everyone. High on life. I feel like it's going to seem like we're much higher than we are. We're not. Because we're nervous about this. I'm very nervous. So we're going to act goofy and silly.

I'm very nervous. Which is the exact type of vibe you want to go into when you take an edible. Yeah, good point. Maybe I should have meditated before this uh i don't know if we needed that no just fall asleep that energy before a podcast episode is not great um so we're doing our 420 episode today it's called 420 and then i put um and then i typed out cool and hit the sunglasses i'm prepared literally an email i got says 420 reviews

sunglasses i knew it see like that's right here in my group they get it it's the vibe uh i i am not um i mean dad are you there i don't want you to listen to this anymore what's that um blank are you there book that's not a book like blank are you there book? Isn't there a book like blank are you there? Are you my mommy? Is it like God are you there or something? Oh, it's me, Margaret. It's me, Margaret. Yeah, that's the one.

Or is it Junie B. Jones? So I'm worried because I don't often – so I have like legal THC 9 gummies that I sometimes use to fall asleep. That's like the extent of my experience. Okay, except for the time when my legs stop working. So I just want to make sure that everybody knows. Everybody knows. What do they need to know? That democracy is coming to me. That's so stupid.

Wait, now I do want dad to be listening. Yeah. Because he's the only one. We're making Leonard Cohen references. He's the only one who gets that reference. Yeah. Have you watched Succession? Yeah, I love Succession.

Are you caught up watching the new season? Is it out already? Oh, it just came out. Episode two just came out on Sunday. No, I'm not caught up. Dee and I watched episode two last night. And let's just say there's Leonard Cohen singing at one point. Poor Dee. I was not paying attention to the show. I was just singing along. And it was Famous Blue Raincoat, of all things. Hey, we love that song. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. I mean,

I kind of sort of half named my daughter after the man. Well, at least it was an influencing factor. So, you know. Yeah. Anyway, this is exactly what we should have expected. I like that Leonard partook in plenty of drugs back in the day. Activities. Yeah. Okay. So I'm ready to go.

Yesterday you bought me an orange soda. I have that. Oh, nice. It's right here. So, yeah. People have been requesting this 420 bullshit for so long they're like dispensaries dispensaries and we tried we did we actually i think we announced it i don't think we announced oh wait yes we did i think we said oh yeah we're gonna do this as our theme and we couldn't find shit and we just decided to be fair i think we did dispensaries

in denver and it was like really very specific overwhelming and niche and it was sort of like everybody knew their shit so well that it was talking about the strains and the chemicals. And we were like, this is not funny. And with all this stuff like Leafly or whatever where you can rate individual strains. Oh, it gets complex. And then people are like, I'm so high writing this. I'm like, how? The words you're using, I don't even know sober.

Okay. Well, I'm ready to go if you are. Yep. Should'm like, how? Yeah. The words you're using, I don't even know sober. Okay. Well, I'm ready to go if you are. Yep. Should I just do one? Let me start. You start. I have a review of In-N-Out Burger. And Lori sent this in.

It's not even a dispensary in Denver. It's In-N-Out. That's what we needed to do. We needed to broaden our scope. So this is called, the title of this review on trip advisor is weed stop and for quite a minute there i was thinking it meant that was wing stop i know but i thought weed stop was the name of the company like the name of the business that they were reviewing i didn't notice it was an in and out burger so i was like oh okay you meant the, oh, okay. And then you meant the company that owns In-N-Out burgers called Weed Stop. And I thought,

I don't, why would that be your first thought? It wasn't. Would be genius. No, it wouldn't. No, it wouldn't. This is, so anyway, I thought it was about some place called Weed Stop. It's not, it's about In-N-Out burger. And then I figured it made a lot more sense once I realized that. This is by Amber. It is a two-star review. In this location's defense, we did visit in the late hours of Friday. The place was packed with teenagers, strange-looking older men in suits, wearing medallions. It's the resume of our grandfather.

I'm really scared he was there. He would be. I don't know he was there. He would be. I don't know why. He just would be anywhere. Which one? Christina. Why? The one that's still alive.

I thought you meant like... That's a terrible way to put it. Sorry. The Kaiser one. I'm sorry. I thought you meant the one that was in the war. No. I'm sorry. I thought you meant the one that was in the war. No, I'm thinking of... I thought medallions like he was in a war.

No, our grandfather on our mom's side had his big set of keys always. He has many keys. And there's this giant gold medallion type thing on his key chain, huge and really heavy. I don't know what the hell it is. It looks like one of those brass knockers from a door. That how large it is kind of yeah it's like solid but it has that like intense feel to it yeah and he'll drop his keys places to like make a statement it's like his thing uh yeah whereas i drop my keys by accident and then spill my coffee when i go to pick them up he drops them intentionally to make uh to make himself known um anyway apparently he's at this in and out burger

in uh arizona so here we go the place was packed with teenagers strange looking older men in suits parentheses wearing medallions and potheads stinking up the place the parking lot had a very strong smell of pot and hey i've done it before. I've smoked the ganja before. It doesn't say that. And hey, I've done it before. I get it. They did have a security at the location and we saw him chase the same girl out of the restroom three times.

When I went into the restroom with my nephews, it seems like you probably shouldn't go into the restroom after you see somebody chase them out three times. This is a bad idea. Bad idea. Just curiosity or what? It gets worse. When I went into the restroom with my nephews, ages six and four, the girl was washing her hair in the sink. And yes, I did stare. And then it has one of those faces where it's a small O underscore big O. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. The security also chased out people sleeping at the tables. At one point, my six-year-old nephew was questioning where all these kids' parents were. Parentheses, so cute. And why they were all out so late. I explained to the best of my knowledge that this was called hanging out and having a good time. And when he is older, he will understand understand which he nervously accepted this poor child sounds like me as a kid i was gonna say this sounds like no like just like a really sensitive

over like you know sensitive about your environment and then the person watching you is like i'll fix it and says something that just makes it yeah and you're like they're like this is my future yeah the like, one day you'll love doing this. Sleeping on the tables and getting chased by security on a Friday night. That's so sad. Oh, boy. And then the parents are like, so cute. What a cute toddler.

What a cute youngster. They could have all probably been college students, and this in-and-out along with the pot smell kept them all looking young. Congratulations. The young girls were all in barely their clothes, freezing and trying to huddle together, which was very entertaining. I do thank them for that. Food was like any other In-N-Out. Restrooms surprisingly clean.

Except for the hair dye everywhere. I was going to say, what? Staff was friendly and upbeat. Restrooms surprisingly clean. Except for the hair dye everywhere. Yeah, I was gonna say, what? Staff was friendly and upbeat. Not surprising. End of review. What? I don't have any godly idea. Huh. Weed stop. Weed stop sounds like the place to be. I needed more about those men with medallions. I know. That was it. I mean. They put wearing medallions in parentheses like it's not a headline. Do you know what city this is?

Yeah. Glendale, Arizona, I think. Oh. Yeah. One of our tour stop, Tempe, Arizona, so maybe we can figure this out. Oh, we're going to the weed stop. Going to the weed stop. Your turn.

Okay. This one's from Goldie. Goldie is the one who used the sunglasses emoji. Oh, yeah. I think Goldie puts it best. This review kind of radiates 10 Renaissance paintings and pear juice therapy vibes. So it's like one of those where you're like. Should we say 10 Renaissance paintings and pear juice vibes only instead of impeccable vibes only?

You know, that rolls right off the tongue. I feel like that would be. I'm definitely going to remember that one minute from now. That would make a better pin. So true. So this one. And what I mean. I wanted to preface it because this sounds not like a good situation.

I don't know what's going on. Like same with that 10 Renaissance painting. Like something's wrong. Something negative is happening. But it's also so bizarre that you're like, what the fuck? Okay. That's what this is. I'm intrigued.

So this is in Patterson, New Jersey of Rise Dispensary. One star. This is by Stevie. There's no, there's like very few little punctuation except the occasional comma. I think I've counted one, two, two commas. I think in this whole thing, no periods. Here we go. I honestly cannot believe I am leaving a negative review. I was on the phone with your computer system for well over an hour being the next caller in line because I was unable to order via the website. I got your location by five. I was standing in the line at five Oh one,

your security and your staff ostracize me. Like I did something wrong and would not allow me to purchase my flower knowing I'm going on vacation, treating me like I am Norman. I have referred many, many patients there. Who the fuck is Norman? I don't know. Norman Bates? That was my first thought. I thought they said Mormon for a minute.

Oh, no. Maybe they meant Mormon. Maybe. It would be. That would be very random in New Jersey, I think. They treat you like a Mormon. I was going to ask. I don't know.

Maybe New Jersey specifically hates Mormons. I don't know. I heard that too. Yeah? Yeah. Treating me like I am Norm... Oh, I can't read. It says...

It's the current... It's hard to tell that there's no R there. It's no man. That's also not... Which also doesn't mean anything. You're like, oh! Oh, it's no man. Treating me like Noman.

Capital N, though. That's why I thought it was a name. N-O-M-A- Oh, it's Noman. Treating me like Noman. Capital N, though. That's why I thought it was a name. N-O-M-A-N. It is Noman. Treating me like I am Noman. Noman? Noman. Clay church.

Okay. Treating me like I am Noman. I have referred many, many patients there and reference Rise to Spensary as part of my speech. I'm not your average Joe. I had a deer come through my windshield. I'm not your average Joe. I had a deer come through my windshield. I'm your average gnomon. I'm sorry. You're missing the climax, Christina.

I'm sorry. You missed what just happened. I'm sorry. Say it again. No, I understand it. Say it again. I am no man. I have referred many, many patients there and reference rise dispensary as part of my speech.

I'm not your average Joe. I had a deer come through my windshield and put me in a coma for two months, referencing nothing but Rise Dispensary being my go-to source for relief. And you treat me as such. I feel as if I am no one, and that's how you treated me. Your security officer was telling me I should be more mindful of the time and get here on time as if Route 80 traffic is my fault. I come from over an hour away multiple times a week

and being the next caller and then picking up and hanging up on me while i waited for over an hour and then to totally treat me as if i did something purposely wrong i was myself in line nobody else at 503 they blasted me like i was a leprosy patient end of review oh my god no you're just a coma patient also hold on is was he put into a coma over and over because he kept all he could talk about? I don't know. He's like, oh, a deer. Anyway, a deer went through my windshield. I don't know what's going on.

And so I was in a coma. For two months. And couldn't stop talking about. So he's talking about a speech that he gives. And in the speech, he references this dispensary as helping him after his coma like he threw his for his relief for his pain so that's what i'm saying like there's this very serious situation here that's not funny like shit went down oh well yeah anyone in a coma i imagine immediately drops the drops the vibes yeah you know what i mean but i'm trying to i'm struggling to understand what even happened here like did he come after hours by one minute and then they wouldn't let him in or something?

But out center, traffic is not his fault. It's not. That is true. I'll give him that. It's no one's fault. Okay. I shouldn't put my experiences on this because I don't know how it works here. But at most dispensaries that I've been, whenever I do an order, like an online order, they

give you like an hour and a half window. Or you can pick from like a two-hour window or something and you you go anytime so i'm like if he was at the end of his like time maybe that's what it was that's probably what it was which but he comes from over an hour away i mean that sucks and think about how hard it would be to drive if you have that trauma no that's true actually i'm like dead serious yeah that's true, actually. I'm serious. I'm like dead serious. Yeah, that's true. Oh, God. And to get like what will help you, like your medicine, like this is like for you, you're like pharmacy. Yeah, it's pretty effed up.

So yeah, it's a shitty situation. I just was like, no punctuation, just free flowing, getting no man's whole life story. Man, I gotta listen to that speech he gives. I'm curious about it. Sounds like a TED talk, a no man talk. Norman story. Man, I gotta listen to that speech he gives. I'm curious about it. Sounds like a TED talk, a no man talk. Norman talk. Norman talk. I'm on Norman talk, are you?

I was trying to find Mormon talk, but I ended up on Norman talk. I'm actually on Mormon talk. I bet. Well, it's one creator who is, I think is Mormon, but he does a lot of like biblical analysis and stuff. Oh, I love those. Oh, no, I don't love those. No, he's stitching all the like conspiracy theorists

and like all these like far right people who are like picking and choosing for the Bible. I thought you meant the people who like wear a pair of pants on their head and pretend to be different characters from the Bible. Oh, like that guy who did the Noah's Ark thing? What are you talking about? Yeah, sort of like that. Okay.

I don't know about like a biblical one that's like all biblical stories, but sure. I feel like a lot of this- I'm glad you've got Leona starting on the right side of her media intake, you know? Norman talk. Yeah, that's where it's at, folks. Okay. So I have a review here. This is from Caleb Hithay from a long time ago, actually. And Caleb wrote, not sure if y'all do shout outs, but in case you do, big shout out to my friend Angela. We don't do shout outs. How many times do we have to tell you? I'm just kidding. My friend Angela, who's also a listener and an avid fan of Fox. And I thought, well, that's a nice, nice little shout out. So here is, well, that's a nice little shout out. Aren't we all? Well, I am.

Well, I guess not really, but you are. Here's a one star review. This is by John, and it is of Burnside Buds in Victoria, B.C., Canada. One star. Kind of uppity for a pot shop. Then again, I am a straight. You're a what? A straight shooter?

Is that what they're going to say? I hope not. I thought you would figure it out. A little uppity, but I'm a straight shooter. You know? I feel like people who call themselves straight shooters are like total assholes. Yeah, they snap and they go down the street like West Side Story. It sounds like. So here's someone's job

kind of uppity for a pot shop then again i am a straight white male so maybe i'll have to find one that doesn't discriminate based on my gender skin color and sexual orientation oh well that got gross fast here we are cracking up about a strange shooter and it just got gross holy oh yeah um so that's that and then i like that caleb uh i guess on his phone did like the marker pen thing where he just wrote wtf like in his handwriting and underlined it. I do that when I take screenshots on my computer. I'll usually like write where the review is from or something. So I know exactly.

You do that on your computer? Yeah. Like with the trackpad? No, I have a mouse and a keyboard. Oh, you type it. Sorry. I thought you meant. No, no, I do with my mouse.

I don't use a trackpad. Oh, so you literally draw it with your mouse yeah like we use a marker too because when i take i would use a snipping tool and the snipping tool you like drag just the portion of the screen so it doesn't screenshot all three of my monitors so just the portion of what i want and then it comes up in a different window and i can write on it and you can can turn it into like a spray paint font and draw, write 69 on it. Like we would do in a computer lab. Yeah, exactly the same.

I think so. That's what I do every night with my screenshots. I know. Okay. My turn. This next one is also from Goldie of Banana Kush. Okay. Is that a strain?

It's a strain on Leafly. This is Four Stars by Samuel. It's hard feeling to be paranoid and aroused at same time. I'm so sorry. I'm not like, talk about a plight. I'm sorry, Samuel.

I'm sorry, Sam Samuel. You're just walking around oh and you're like you're like i hope all these people don't know how aroused i am right now that's how i'm picturing this okay that does actually make a little like in target and you're just like man i hope none of these people notice my My advice is just go home. Yes, stay home. Just go home. Here we go. It's hard feeling to be paranoid and aroused at same time, but this flower achieves both.

And it's best not to consume this while in a portable toilet, dropping a deuce, because it will make you think you're hearing paws on the side of the john and growling from some wild beast. And then you just what you just get a boner like jesus christ like i'm stuck in a port-a-john exactly i heard somebody a werewolf outside yeah i guess this is my thing oh my god uh i'm so overwhelmed by this okay there's paws you think you're hearing paws on the side of the john and growling from some wild beast. And you know if you went out to investigate, you wouldn't be able to run because of the third leg you're sporting. End of review. Oh, God.

You know the worst part is I was- You brought it up and I'm like, oh, don't worry. He's going to acknowledge the arousal part. I was about to say, oh, that happened to me because my leg stopped working. And you know you can't run because I was about to go, oh yeah, I get it. And then you said the third leg and I went, that's not. I'm very glad you did not interrupt.

That's not where I was going with that. Very glad. I feel like if I were to smoke a strain that I'd never smoked before and like say wasn't sure how I would react, the last place I would do that is a portable toilet in what seems to be not a very safe location yes it sounds stressful

I'm picturing it happening at like a music festival it must be so not only that there are probably tons of people in line somebody could have been scratching on depending on what they spoke it could have really been real yeah today something is coming Kong It's really been real. Yeah.

Today. Something is coming. Kong. Godzilla. They can feel it. Fight together. And teaming up. Or face extinction.

Godzilla Kong. The New Empire. Now playing only in theaters. This is from Daniel. It's of Oregon's Green Rush in Eugene, Oregon. And Daniel had originally written... Originally what? Originally written Oregon's Gold Rush. And I was like, that's a weird name.

I mean... Yeah, yeah, it is weird. But I was like, that's weird. So I Googled it and it was called Green Rush. Sorry, Daniel, to immediately call you. Like you didn't have to acknowledge that. The reason I did was because I was like, oh, because you were like, fuck you, Daniel. I wanted to see where it was.

Okay. In Oregon. So I Googled it. Also, this was for Flanfo for the GeoGuessr map. You know, see, I did it for Flanfo the whole time. Sorry, Daniel. I threw you under the bus for Flanfo for the GeoGuessr map. See, I did it for Flanfo the whole time. Sorry, Daniel, I threw you under the bus for Flanfo's sake. No offense, Daniel. I hope you at least die happy knowing that information.

I don't want you to die at all. Someone's going to cut out where it says, I hope you at least die. And then Christine 2024 will never happen. Oh, yeah. Oh, no. That's fine with me. I'll get right on it. Thanks for the idea.

Can you imagine the smear campaign of the other candidate? It's too easy. It's too easy with this podcast. It's too easy. Daniel, I didn't mean it. I did it for flip. Okay, this is a one-star view of Oregon's green rush. And Eugene, Oregon.

One star by Scott, who appears to be holding a large gun in the photo. Fight broke out between staff while I was there. Very bad vibe, unprofessional, high prices,

just like the weed dealers of yesteryear if you're into that kind of thing. Oh, we gotta call that guy. He's into some weird things. Yeah, true. The guy in the port-a-john. Anyway, I just, I really appreciated the really appreciated that like oh it's just like the olden days where you have to they take a photo of your

driver's license run it through a scanner yeah i don't think i don't think it's probably the same as that only allow a few people into the room at a time right right right right right you're making like hundreds of millions of dollars legally. Yeah. I have one more of Banana Kush. Cool. This is also from Goldie. And this kind of fit your challenge from last week. This was written by Topher Four Stars.

I slapped. Then 10 minutes later, I was on me couch and I got so, so, so, so, so into the office. It was lit, bruh. You dig? End of review. Oh, no. I dig, I think. It was also marked as creative, focused, giggly, and relaxed.

The strain. The strain. I thought you meant the review, which also kind of applies. Looks like Goldie hit the helpful button. It looks like Goldie hit the helpful button. It looks like no one hit the helpful button. That's actually no one. The first one, at least. Oh, my God.

That first one. I just noticed of the coma one. Five people found it helpful. Oh, geez. And I forgot to mention that the dispensary did respond. And the response was very like boilerplate. Like, we strive to treat every single patient with respect they deserve. Blah, blah, blah. Except no-orman.

Except no-man. Except no-man. Okay, so this is an email from Maddie Sheher, who wrote, please enjoy this saga of one man who just wants to buy some cones from our local Ottawa canna cabana. And Maddie said, what I think of as the Walmart of weed. Oh. And I tried to access the website I had put in my birthday, and it was like, you are not near Canada. And they wouldn't let me look at it. They blurred everything out. Yeah, I know.

What? I got to this one first. You did not. And then I went through the effort to try to find the review. You did not. And I couldn't find it so i marked it as unread and was like maybe she'll do it i almost responded to maddie and but this i was like this wasn't this from like years ago yeah i think it was one that i

searched from like two years ago and so i was like what if and you were like getting in the uber on the way there and i was like do you think if i respond to maddie right now no that she'll respond the next 25 minutes no so what i thought was i thought maybe just over time they changed how it works because yeah you the link very annoyed like it would go somewhere else and it went just to the product page with everything blurred out it was so irritating yeah so you had to create an account no no i didn't create an account but it said like how old are you or whatever i did i know but you created an account because i so you had to create an account to... No, no, I didn't create an account, but it said like how old are you or whatever. I did.

I know, but you created an account. Because I thought I had to define the reason I still couldn't find them. Oh, no, it's... Yeah, so then I entered my birthday and it was like select a store. And I was like, okay, so I just clicked a random one. Oh, I went and clicked the Ottawa one. Well, yeah, I clicked the Ottawa one first, whatever. Yeah, I clicked the Ottawa one and then it was like allow location.

And I was like block. And it was like, you must prove that you are in the Canada area. Oh, shit. Or in the area of the store you selected. I know, right? Yeah, weird. Anyway, the reason, Maddie, I hope you're not freaking out, but the reason we won, is this the same reason you wanted to go look it up? Because two of the screenshots were the same photo?

I didn't see the screenshots, Christina. Oh. I just clicked the link. There's screenshots? Oh same photo. I didn't see the screenshots, Christina. Oh. I just clicked the link. There's screenshots? Oh, yeah. Oh, fuck. Okay, but I still wanted to try and access it because the first and the third picture were the same photo. And it said part one, part two, part three.

I do not remember. Oh, no, I didn't see these. Okay. So I was just stupid maybe and just like thought, oh, man, this link isn't working. Oh, no, yeah, it had a touch. I was trying to find the reviews it had attachments what the hell but okay my bad oh so you were wondering how i access them yeah oh no they were in the email but the problem is i think but not all of them i it said part one part two part three part one and three were the same so i'm like i didn't know if there was an update but it's still funny with the two okay i was able

to access unless that was a journey we just went i'm so sorry that we got through it no that was my fault because i freaked out extremely chaotic and we're still nowhere near ottawa after that long journey i was actually good i think thank you uh okay please enjoy this saga of one man who just wants to buy some cones from our local Ottawa cabana. Cabana. Cabana. This is so fun. Just go.

We've got to get through this. Six pack of unbleached cones, which I guess is a weed thing. Jesus Christ, yes. Okay. I mean, obviously, but I don't know what it is. Okay, one star. This is a review. This is important.

By Dennis. And the title is, what product unavailable again again no product keeps happening all the time drive down to pick up product bam nothing get the same old sorry you would think they would let you know ahead of time. Duh. Okay. Okay. D-A-U-U-U. Duh. Great. That was by Dennis, one star. Now, this is another review. So that was written December 18th of 21. This one's written December 30th, 2021.

It's a five-star review by Alex, and it says, Yo, Dennis. Chill. Great cones, great price. have never had availability issues there are also two canna cabanas two blocks apart end of review oh dennis dennis got called out so part three might be dennis that's what i was wondering because part three was just that same first one star and i was like oh my god i wonder if dennis showed another comment so maddie if you're still listening to the podcast despite all the times i've said eek and all that

if maddie has been maddie is no longer listening after five minutes ago with our meltdowns about this ottawa stuff my turn yeah okay my next one was sent in by Haley. You might have some from Haley. Oh, I think I saw. Because I think I have, I think I have multiple. Or no, maybe I just picked one. I think there are like some other ones. But all in like separate emails. So it was like kind of nice to give us our options.

Oh, yeah, true. Because if I open an email with like eight attachments. Then it's like they're basically all yours. You can't give them to me. Unless I decide to pretend like I never read it because I couldn't get into the Ottawa, Canada site. That was me. Cabana site. I just noticed, I think I know someone who has the exact same name as this reviewer, first and last.

You were going to say Cabana. And I was like, should we cut that out then? I'm trying to get away from all that. I'm getting away from all that. I thought I offended your friend Kabbada. Kabbada. And Noman. Okay, here we go. One star.

Bicyclist emoji. Never been there before. It's my first time. I'm riding my bicycle. I'm excited. Praise the Lord. I'm never a few. i'm riding my bicycle i'm excited praise the lord bicyclist emoji like like some man man on a bicycle man on a bicycle oh my god like i don't know if they just include that at the end of all of their reviews or if it's like

oh this is of a dispensary i better i better add this right with god add jesus to this one pray for those sinners you know yeah kind of thing what what you mean like he is seeking redemption for himself because he's no no no no no oh for the others for those who go to this dispensary going there he doesn't he's riding his bike he did he's never been there he was riding his bicycle there no he said never been there before it's my first time i'm riding my bicycle i'm excited praise oh maybe yeah i mean oh you're saying first time i'm riding my bicycle there which somehow is even funnier to me my my view of it was like riding past it like a first time going okay on the bicycle past it oh on the second time you read it i thought it was no no i see what you're saying but on the second time you read it

i thought you were saying it's coming through on his little bicycle. What's his name again? I never gave a name because it's the same exact name. Nice try getting this person's name out of me. It's a college roommate or something. No, God no. Okay, okay. I actually don't remember their last names, most of them.

That's probably for the best. Yeah, my brain is trying to protect me. So is Witness Protection Program. So hopefully they won't find you now. So here's the thing. I searched weed in our inbox while you were on your way here in the Uber when I gave up on Maddie and said, oh, well, I'll just read it anyway. Yeah. So I searched weed and I found this weed and I was like, oh, this is perfect.

This is hilarious. And then I was like, wait, it has nothing to do with weed. You'll see why. But I... It's like with weeds? Well, there were a few where it was like about Home Depot. And I was like, this is not it. Oh, but this isn't even that.

Nope. This is from Chris. He them. And he says, she for kids. Then gives us a compliment that says, please don't ever stop. And please let Zandy drink more often. Oh no. And then it says,

Christine, you are perfect. Don't change. I was like, okay. You drink enough. You were cutting you off. No encouragement for you.

You're fine right here. That's great. I think this is, who wrote that? This is from Chris. I think Chris will love this episode then. Yeah Chris is going to be like Christine I thought we told you to

not change anything. This is how I wish I felt when I drank. Actually no I'm glad I don't because I'd be drinking a lot more. Which I don't think would be healthy for me. So like I'm happy this way because this is like the giddy like happy.

Yes. Life is good. No worries. Yes. Except for all the paranoia side, you know. Paranoia arousal. Okay. Yeah. Both.

You know, it's a problem. Anyway, so Chris sent this. This is going to make you sad. April 8th, 2020. Enro, I found this review while looking for puzzles to help with quarantine. Quarantining alone is boring. There's only so much Netflix to watch. And this was written April 8th of 2020.

I know. It like made me feel really concerned. I was like. Have we heard from Chris since? I don't know. Okay. I'm too scared to check. Like, I just hope we weren't lost.

And if we were, I understand. I understand. Yes to check. Like, I just hope we weren't lost in part of it. And if we were, I understand. I understand, yes. But. Yeah, I think plenty of people haven't come back to listening to us from, or listen to podcasts in general, not us specifically. I was like, oh, is that. I just mean like podcasts in general. Did we get canceled during the.

From the quarantine. Like when people lost, like a lot of people haven't returned to work in their commute and stuff. Well, I mean. Which was a big chunk of people. I was going to say people stopped. Right. Well, I guess that is what you mean. work in their commute and stuff. Right. Well, I mean. Which was a big chunk of people. I was going to say people stopped. Right. Well, I guess that is what you mean. Like driving to work and stuff.

Yeah. Which is good for the environment. Hopefully for them. Maybe not their mental health, but maybe. Maybe. Maybe. But maybe. For many it is.

That's true. Anyway. So, Chris, we wish you well. We love you, Chris. Unlike Maddie, Daniel, everybody else, we love you, Chris. I hope you're doing okay after all the Netflix that you watched in apparently three weeks. Uh-oh. So anyway, this is...

What if Chris gets back to us and is like, I didn't stop listening because of the pandemic. I stopped listening because Zandy didn't drink more often and Christine changed. Sorry. Talk about paranoia. Now I'm really slipping and sliding into all the reasons. Sorry. Talk about paranoia. Now I'm really slipping and sliding into all the reasons. Okay, so this is... I put this late in my reviews because I was like, it's not going to make sense, so I'm just going to pretend.

4D Cityscape Game of Thrones time puzzle. What? It's like a... Wait, that can't be right a 4d puzzle the fourth of it is like time so i don't know what does that mean where did i see 4d like i feel, I feel like I... Oh, I did. 4D. Oh, it was the first word I said. 4D, Cityscape, Game of Thrones, Time Puzzle.

I told you. Do you know what I almost said? What's the fourth dimension scent? Hey, you're weirdly, like, I was about to say... Sense of smell. No, I was about to say that, like, when I thinkD movies at Disney, that includes scent and the senses. That's what they add is the fourth dimension is those senses. Because for one brief moment I thought, I don't want a Game of Thrones smelling puzzle.

I feel like I'd maybe do a flower garden first. Game of Thrones smelling puzzle? It really i'd maybe do a flower garden first throne smelling puzzle like it really depends on what they pick like a crackling fire it'll always be metal either metal or blood right like the smell of metal and like probably a lot of like it probably just stinks yeah b.o poop you gotta wonder oh yeah sewage um excretions true true true anyway so this is a 4d puzzle yeah i'm so glad that um i went back and read it because i was like i must have seen 4d somewhere it was three words before i asked you uh yeah whether it was 4d so this is a review of this puzzle by david and it's a five-star view, verified purchase.

The title is Cat Weed All Over It. I will never know if this jigsaw is good because my moronic idiot of a cat decided it was a litterbix and weed all over the jigsaw pieces before I could make it. Westeros drowned in a tsunami of cat pizzle. End of review. Weed. So it was we in the past tense?

My cat weed all over it. My cat weed all over it. When I first read it, I thought, oh, they mean catnip, catweed. Me too. Okay. Me too. When you started this, I was like, oh, a catnip thing. I was like, what does a litter box have to do with catnip?

Litterbix. Litterbix, I'm sorry. Litterbix. With a capital B. Litterbix. Oh, is that is that a brand name it sounds like uh are they trying to like plug a bit weed a biscuit weed a biscuit it's like dj collins oh it's your sign i was like yo yo this is what was it again no I'm not telling you I reviews I reviews anyway what the fuck

am I reading wait is it my turn or your turn no it's my turn okay this is a weed strain review this was presented by Taylor who works at a dispensary and is just so ashamed of us right now probably but this is for the weed strain gelato on Leafly and before I read it Taylor says that this review is accurate.

Oh, okay. I don't remember what it was, but we'll see. Four star review by Evan. I know it's an odd statement to make, but this strain made me feel good. But not in that way. It made me feel good about myself. There should be another label for strain ratings. Raises self-esteem.

This would be my first vote. End of review. Whoa. 1,162 people found it helpful. Whoa. Right? Oh my gosh. I didn't even know that was a-

I forgot that was such a nice review. Thing that could shift. Yeah. Depending on- The strain? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I've, in my experience.

Right. I've felt very different with very, like every different edible I've tried. Huh. Let alone like actual, like strains that you smoke. Yeah. I don't know much about it, obviously. I always, so I just recently for the first time. It's overwhelming though.

I got flour. I feel like weird saying it because for the first time It's overwhelming though. got flour. I feel like weird saying it because I don't know what I'm talking about. I got some ones because it came free with like a medical marijuana order

I ordered in California that I never touched because I got too freaked out. I only got them like free pre-rolls so it's easy. You just, you don't need to do anything.

I don't even know how to light a lighter so I think I'd be in trouble. True. I just bought, but I went and I was like i put some things in my cart and then i was like yeah but if you have any other recommendations or whatever um can you like let me know because i was like i have no idea what i'm doing the guy at the

dispenser so i put my cart online but i have to go in and pick it up in person oh oh okay i can't sorry i can't have it you had a shopping cart there and i was like this is not how i pictured so then like while you're there you can add things or remove things or swap things out. So I asked him, I was like, I don't know anything. And they're always so helpful and so nice. Well, not according to some of the reviews I read where people were like, there was one place called like Apple something and they were like more like crab apple. The bud tenders didn't even look at me.

So. Bud tenders. I love that. I so bud tenders i love that i hate it i love it i personally really can't abide by it it's hilarious it's not though it's funny like it's silly but it's funny okay i feel like on some level it's like yes it's clever but it just makes me feel uncomfy you know um so this is a redemption actually well yours was too right yeah i'm just going through okay i just want to make sure um so this is from rosie she her and this is of holy oak cannabis dispensary this is a four-star view by julie connecticut but they spelled connecticut wrong connecticut they're a local guide, which should worry some people. Okay, so... What kind of local guide spells the name of their school?

Get worried, people. Oh, no. What if her name is... Is what? Connecticut, and I'm just going to ask. Probably. Or that's like another, I don't know, something else there. Sure, maybe.

Just wait till all those. Connecticants. Connectiates. What the fuck would they be called? Connectiates. That's not a thing. I forget the name of the state. Can you say the name of the state for me?

Connecticut. Oh, yeah. Right. Connecticutans? Connecticut. I'm wondering what they're like. Oh. I forget the word for that type of.

Plural noun. They're noun form, but there's like a word for it. But yes. It's Connecticutans. I don't know. Connecticutites. Connecticut. Connecticutians.

Like that's the thing. Connecticutites. That doesn't sound right. That sounds like a. That sounds biblical. Bible verse. Connecticut. Connecticut. Connecticutians. Like that's the thing. Connecticut. That doesn't sound right. That sounds like a. That sounds biblical. Bible verse. Yeah. Okay.

Anyway, what does this local guide have to say? I'm sorry. Julie. Julie says, four stars. Pet friendly. This is the store with yellow slash green vests and cones. The other one has orange safety equipment. There is a difference.

What? I forgot that it was this one when I said she's a local guide who clearly doesn't know what she's talking about. What is going on? Because she spelled Connecticut wrong. And she's like wandering into the wrong building, I guess. Wait, what just happened? When they say cones, they mean actual traffic cones.

She's on the freeway. Wait, what? I know. What's the Connecticut freeway called? I'm just kidding. Okay. So what happened, I think, is like it says vests. So I assume like the security there has there has, like, a certain color.

Oh, okay, okay. Or, like, they're wearing the brand's color, like the security guard or something. So it says, pet-friendly, enter. This is the store with yellow-slash-green vests and cones. The other one has orange safety equipment. There is a difference. Be aware. Both places are welcoming you.

What's the difference? Why do we need to know this? Just make sure you have your identity card. And then the owner responded, thanks so much for the great review. What? What does it matter? I'm assuming there's two weed shops.

Yeah, but... And she went into one instead of the other. But they're the same thing? They're not the same. But they both will take care of you or something. They're both places that are welcoming. So far, the only difference I know about them is the color. The color of their safety equipment.

That's it. Yeah, so... Why does that matter? I'm so confused. I think she's just saying like this specific business is the one with yellow and green bus. Stop acting as if this makes sense. It does.

I think. Am I wrong? But. But. Okay. What. This is how our arguments. What's her motivation?

Whose? The reviewer. What is her motive? Not Kendall's. Hers. Julie. arguments what's her motivation who's the reviewer what is her motive not kendall's her julie julie's motivation is to review a place and say hey make sure you're going into the building with the green and yellow cones know you're gonna hate so i picked this one next because i know that you'll hate it it's fucking great okay so this is sent in by jenna she her who says hi my partner

and i were this is from 2021 um we're researching the new strain of weed we got and found a lovely stoner review i think you'll enjoy oh it's a girl scout cookie uh but they in the review they say gsc for girl scout cookie that's the that's the strain gotcha it's a four-star review it's kind of like witness witness witness witness jesus christ four-star review by ivan hello this is your captain of the gsc alternative speaking before we begin may i ask that you please refrain from driving operating heavy machinery and calling your mother while under the influence of this strain seriously it's got a powerful kick and you'll forget why you called your mom commence inhalation now all right here we go ladies and gentlemen on our way up you'll notice you thought i was done no way not even

close oh no oh no it can't be happening it's like that time dilation that happens when you're when you're on the pot. Everything feels like years. Commence inhalation now. All right, here we go, ladies and gentlemen. On our way up, you'll notice your head gets slightly lighter. Don't worry. This is just your body starting to settle into the change as we escalate. Whoa.

We are now starting to pick up speed. You should feel a slight tingle in your face, which will melt into the rest of your body shortly. And we land, land in five, four, three, two, one. Congratulations, everyone. We have landed on cloud nine. Please enjoy your stay at Imagination Land. Be sure to check out the Talkathon, Euphoric Paintings Exhibit, and Muscle Relaxation Spa.

All are great treats, but I'm sure you'll have a blast. And remember to meet back here in a few hours. I'll have everyone's beds ready for them. Have a splendid time, everyone! End of review. Whoa. I felt like I was along for the ride. Yeah. I think sober you would have just been miserable. I think that's the problem is that I'm like, oh yeah, my head does feel kind of-

You're much more accepting of other people's creativity when- It's weird. It's not like I need it all for myself. You have so little of it. I was going to say, that's why everyone's wondering, where has it gone? I feel like we're saying these things as if they make sense, and then later we're going to listen to them. I promise you, I will not be listening to this later. Me neither. I appreciate that thought, but no.

Unless the police force me to for some reason that I don't want to know right now. Oh, dear. I felt like the last review— God, why are the police going to be involved? What the fuck? Clearly I deal with some paranoia related to the way drug culture was, you know, discussed in front of us. Okay, this is another redemption. It's from Bree, like the cheese. It says that. She, her.

So this is a review of a strain, specifically Blackberry Kush, which is one of Bree's faves, just FYI. And this is a- I'm pretty sure you have one of those right there. I do. Oh, nice. But it's the legal ones for Kentucky. Oh.

Anyway. Cool. I'm sure I'm the last state that's going to have actual weed. Womp womp. So five stars. This is a review of Blackberry kush by horatio if you're looking for a quick puff this is not the right strain the reason being at first you think it will be quick little puff but then the tart and tangy flavors draw you in for a second

take and before you know it you're best friends with a squirrel. End of review. I like that. Now, nobody's reported this helpful. I'd like to throw my hat in the ring because I found that incredibly helpful. Yeah. Sometimes you just want to get in that headspace. Friends with a squirrel.

True. That should be a new tag next if it makes yourself feel better about yourself. Friends with a squirrel. Yeah. I like that. Cool. Yeah, but I get that. When you have an edible, especially the ones that are Yeah. I like that. Cool. Yeah, but I get that. When you have an edible,

especially the ones that are like the gummies that are tasty. Oh, they're so yummy. And you're like, holy shit, I just want to eat this whole thing. Do you know how hard it is to have this? And not survive it probably. This half of a gummy. Has been just sitting there in front of you. Yeah, and it smells like mango.

Yeah. It's delightful. It is delightful. It's dangerous. I understand why you got to have all those child locks for real. Yeah. It's one thing if your kid takes too many Flintstones. You can take the lid off when you're sober.

I tried for like 10 straight minutes, which shows you just how amateur I am. Do you have any more? Yeah. You mentioned hats, and I have a Speaking of Hats review. Wow. That's smooth. Yeah. Thank you.

This was sent in by Annie, and this is of a Leafly review. I'm not sure what product it is, but 501 people found this one helpful. Wow. It's a four-star review. Can you not give five? I have only seen four. A lot of people have done four. Why are they all four?

You think, oh, stoners, they're chill. They're just like positive. But I'm like, where are you withholding? There's like an edge of bitterness there. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Okay. Or like high expectations.

Anyway, I don't know what strain this is. I really want to know. But here we go. Four stars. This is by Scott. I feel like I'm wearing a hat, but I'm definitely not wearing a hat. Oh my God. I want to know what strain that is too.

Is it weird that I'm like, oh yeah, I get it. Yeah, totally. I feel like I'm wearing a hat. I don't think that's weird. Yeah. You get that like the head tingly. Yeah. And it's almost like there's like a, like a, not a pressure, but like a, I don't know, a feeling in your head.

Well, that's what that guy, the pilot talked about, but it was so scary. What pilot? Shit. Sorry. The one you were talking about who took us to cloud nine. Oh Jesus. Sorry. you out who took us to cloud nine oh jesus sorry he was saying oh it starts with this light feeling but the way you read it in that calm voice made it so scary whereas this guy saying oh it's like a hat on your head i'm like that i can understand and get on board with yeah the thing about like

your head will be but don't worry your face is melting but don't worry it's all good like that's so much scarier to me yeah than just like oh you feel like you're wearing a hat but you're not wearing a hat exactly like that i can really understand it's very it feels very low stakes because in reality if you were wearing a hat that's okay yeah that's not bad but in reality if your face were melting that's not good okay do you have any more yeah okay i have something that apparently i called an ultimate redemption. Oh, okay. Let's end on that one because I'm pretty sure I'm done. You are? Okay.

In more ways than one. Oh, this is the... Okay. This is the ultimate redemption I wrote. And it's just an email from Chloe from last year. I didn't mean to say it's just an email from Chloe. I just mean... It says ultimate redemption, but it's just an email from Chloe. I just mean. It says Ultimate Redemption, but it's just an email from Chloe.

Chloe, go join Daniel and the rest of your team. You are. Yeah, you've been brutal to these people. I think it's mostly been you, no? Maybe all you? Maddie was all me. I started being nice to Carl. I said Carl was Chris.

I don't know why I said Carl. It was Chris. I't know why I said Carl it was Chris I was just lost points with Chris uh I was starting to be nice to Chris and then you just took that and we're like oh like yeah we're so nice to Chris and I'm like wait I was this is part of all my slander campaign this is terrible um I don't okay I would trust I believe yeah what is what does Chloe have Chloe says per your interests Chloe, and then included a link. And the link is an article to bookclubchicago.org. And the title of the article is,

From Jungle to Joints, Rainforest Cafe Could Become a Weed Dispenser. No. Yeah. Wait, what? In Chicago. You know, we could drive. Not impaired. I mean, before that.

Do you think people would think you meant like, we could get weed and then drive. Yay. I've always wanted to do that. It's sort of a dream. No, no, no. Yeah, we could drive to Chicago to experience that. Yeah, and then experience a rain. This was from April 2022. Okay. Oh, wait. Yeah, we could drive to Chicago to experience that. Yeah, and then experience Rainforest. This was from April 2022.

Okay. Oh, wait. I'm looking. This is not a joke. I'm looking at the hyperlink because it had the whole link. And it says bookclubchicago.org slash 2022 slash 04 slash 01. So it was probably, do you think it was an April Fool's joke?

From last year? Yes. Man. Well, that's too bad. So this is an email from So wait. I'm sorry. Did Chloe not send in the ultimate redemption? That was it.

Oh, that was the ultimate redemption I thought you had a review that was a redemption No Yeah that was not redeeming at all It was an ultimate redemption because I thought it was actually real That would have been amazing But then when I realized we all got fooled And by we I mean

Chloe and I I guess got fooled Me too no I believed it Okay okay You're the one who found April No, I believed it. Okay. Okay. You're the one who found April. I would have believed it, gone on believing it. Absolutely. Unless you had said that. But it's not just me.

So I have this. It's because I really want it to be real. I know. It's okay. It felt like my dreams were, like, that was too mean of a prank. You know what I'm saying? Yes, that was the meanest prank ever. Like, you can do a prank that's like, ha ha, fake lottery ticket, you won $2 million. You know, no, you didn't. Like, that's a meanest prank ever. You can do a prank that's like, ha-ha, fake lottery ticket, you won $2 million.

No, you didn't. That's a mean prank. I forget what I was talking about. But the Rainforest Cafe one is meaner. Too far. Meaner. Too far. Meanest.

I'd rather think I won $10 million. I saw an article that a YouTuber was shot, was put in the hospital. And that's it. I'm sorry. And he was doing pranks. While filming a prank video at a mall in Virginia. Yeah. He was shot and put in the hospital.

Whatever the prank he was doing. Yeah. This Rainforest Cafe one is meaner. Oh. Wait, but was that a prank that he got shot? No, no, no. He got shot. He's in the hospital. Oh, fuck. I thought you meant like his prank was saying he got shot doing a prank.

And I was like, that is too far. His YouTube channel had a lot of things like I'm saying pranks in quotations. It's like harassment. There are a lot of harassment of individuals. Not saying anyone deserves to be shot. The gun culture in this country is fucking insane. Whoa, hot take.

Hottest take yet. I only say that when I'm high. I know. So for me, it's the complete opposite. No. Yeah, no, it's really fucked up. But yeah, also don't do those harassment pranks. Jesus Christ.

Okay, I thought... But also don't shoot people. If I reacted in a certain way it's because i really thought the prank was sorry no yeah he put it it's worse i was just using uh that that tragic predicament to make a joke about how mean this rainforest cafe thing was yeah i was being insensitive i know what review do you have to end this absolute disaster that I've had so much fun recording. Mia sent an email a while ago. It must have been when we had a discussion about your certain weed experience that one time when you, something about weed.

Yeah, I love talking about it, especially when I'm high. I'm just reminding the folks about what this is referencing. Yeah, I greened out. I thought I was in purgatory. Yeah, and he was in my room. And I was in my room and she was Googling how to get people out of a high. And Willie Nelson says have them smell black pepper or cracked pepper or whatever. I think it just made you throw up.

So this is what Mia says. She, her, by the way. Zandy's story about his religious brownie experience, that's quite a way to put it, gave me some traumatic flashbacks. About four years ago, my husband and I decided to split a gummy made by someone who has a much more robust tolerance than us. We were fine for maybe five minutes or two years, who knows. And then I put my hand in front of my face and realized I could see through it. I had that same panicked, oh shit, I took too much feeling and decided I needed to go to the bathroom to make myself throw up.

However, I couldn't walk because of my third leg. Just kidding. Mia didn't say that. However, I couldn't walk, so I army crawled to the toilet and then proceeded to beg Jesus to take me home. My husband crawled in after me and kept whispering, Weed can't kill you, until he passed out on the bathroom floor. Oh, no. That's terrible. Scary mantra to say. That means because you're worried it will.

Yes, that's because you're trying to convince yourself, like, how traumatic. Holy shit. At some point, I barfed on him, no reaction, and we both slept on the floor for somewhere between two hours and six years. I think I'm straight-edged now, XX Mia. Don't blame you. Wow. No reaction. And we both slept on the floor for somewhere between two hours and six years. I think I'm straight edge now. XX Mia. Don't blame you.

Wow. I was too for a bit after that. Yeah. So that was the other thing that came up when I typed in weed. It was first that cat weeing on the puzzle. Yeah. And then this one, weed can't kill you. Weed can't kill you. I have one last thing.

I promise. That's fine. Okay. Hey, look, I am having so much fun I have loved this episode I actually don't give a shit if some people are like put off by it I don't blame them at all

let's just hope they skip to the next sober one which will most likely be the next one I think after this maybe maybe the next few hundred maybe we after this, maybe. I think that's a good idea. Maybe the next few hundred. Maybe.

We'll see. When we get to 420, like episode 420. Yes, fair. Yeah, that's got to be something special. Then we can do this again. Okay, folks. This is from Julio the Flower Hat. Hi. Hi, Julio.

It's a weed forum that he found called grasscity.com. So here's the thing. At first I looked at it and I was like, oh, that's fun. They have the actual emoticons of them like, you know, moving around and stuff. And then I was like, okay, let's see what happens if I copy paste this. If I hovered over the emoticon, it would say like, hello, you know, like the whatever word is between the colons. Sorry, we're talking HTML folks.

Shut up. Shut up. Just kidding. These poor people're talking HTML, folks. Shut up. Shut up. Just kidding. These poor people. I'm so sorry. So if I hovered over it, it would say what the colon that you have to type in to get it to come up is. But then when I copy and paste it into Google Docs, it wrote them all out for me.

It wrote out everywhere there was an emoticon. It did my eek. It wrote it out. And here's the thing, folks. Alexander gave me some information that I'm sure a lot of you agree with, that somebody commented basically saying nothing like... Yeah, we referenced it earlier. It was saying that...

We sort of referenced it, I guess. It was saying the best part of it was something along the lines of, you acknowledge how annoying and not funny eek is and yet you continue to do it to do it yeah and i was like well that is kind of the point and i was yes fair it is that was like the point of the episode that one especially was like and i and i make me annoyed which in turn made many other people annoyed i'm sure yes i understand the irritation. I do.

But I think that you kind of already get it. Like you're saying, I don't get the... Basically, they said like, please, for the love of God, stop with the eeks. Even you say you don't get it. And I'm like, well, yeah, that's... True, we don't get it. So you do get it because that's the whole point.

You know what I'm saying? I'm serious. Anyway, I'm not trying to bash that guy because I'm sure there are a lot of people who genuinely brought it to you because i was literally saying oh look it's as if i wrote a comment like it was like this is exactly what i would have said it was hilarious with me anyway i'm just my i don't want anyone to go find the comment or anything yes i'm just saying i understand where they're coming from but that you also understand it more than you think because

you're actually explaining the point the point was to annoy me exactly and it worked and you also because i got annoyed that first time you eked and everyone online was like haha eek whenever like i would like comment it like or say it on my stream people were like oh you're saying eek now yeah it became a thing yeah so you're basically uh two peas in a pod so anyway I'm just going to read you the part of Deacon, who's the main- It's a play? The part of Deacon. This is my monologue. Green City play?

So, okay. All of that stuff about Eek to say, sorry, guy who commented. If you are still listening, which I hope you are, please just don't listen to this. Okay? Or do with the new knowledge that you have about why we do eek you know what i mean okay why we do eek this is my ted talk um i'm on right after no man no one's listening anymore i forgot about nomen they stopped back then okay oh my god okay so funny this is a thread by deacon on grasscity.com and it's called what you smoking

tonight now there are four pages of this i'm not gonna read oh my god but that's what i'm saying we're just gonna have another hour of an episode i I'm just saying I'm going to read the part of Deacon. Oh, I see. Because Deacon's posts were the funniest ones. So I'm just going to read. And there were sporadic posts from other users in between. Okay. But basically every-

Would you say these are redemption? Yes, definitely. Okay, positive. Definitely. Fun. So definitely redemption music. Good ending. Or weed music, whichever one Brian prefers.

Okay, so this is how Deacon begins this thread, which is called What You Smokin' Tonight. Hey, guys. Always wondered why we don't have this thread. Confused. Anyway, I'm bong ripping a couple test buds off my scrog. Bongin', bongin', bongin', bong ripping a couple test buds off my scrog. Bonging, bonging, bonging, bonging. That's how you vote against. What?

Bonging, bonging. You should have seen when I hovered over it. And it said bonging and I was like, copy, paste. This is amazing. Bonging. Julio sent it and I was like, this must be last because I don't know if we'll get to it. I saw the email because it was specifically for you. For XT, yeah.

And Julia was like, I think I'm high just from reading this. Like, it's so bizarre. Bong and, oh my god. Bong and Bong and it is literally like a Bong smoking emoticon face. Yeah, I figured, I guess. I think it's AK-48. It's good. Should be sweet harvested and cured correctly.

So long, wave. LMAO. Peace, Deacon. Okay, that's the beginning of, and I abridged that. That's the beginning of this thread. Somebody responded and Deacon says, Too cool, guys. New with all the grow talk here.

Somebody was putting something into air. Awesome. Picks make it better for sure. Nice bud, guys. New with all the grow talk here. Somebody was putting something into air. Awesome. Pics make it better for sure. Nice bud, bro. Mine's not flushed. It tastes a little carpy. Eek! See, I've lost the luster.

There's an eek there, too? There's an eek. That's your big surprise. I'm sorry to do this to you. You're going to have a bad trip now. Because what I was going to say was like the bong and bong and whatever that was. I was like, that's not like grating. It's not like eek which is a

shrill obnoxious sound. To be fair it lost its. Like that's the problem with eek specifically. But it lost its luster. Did you hear me say eek? You didn't say it quite as shrilly I suppose. It wasn't shrill at all. I was joking. I wouldn't say that. Okay. I know at least one other person who will agree with me too.

That's fair. Because that was. I bet only no man would agree only no man yeah exactly uh so anyway um yeah bonging was fun for a minute hilarious um there's more there's more of course okay so anyway um he basically said it tastes carpy. And then he says, LOL, not crappy. Like his joke. Does that taste like fish? I assume. Gross.

Gross. Okay. Mine's not flush. So it tastes a little carpy. Eek. There it is. LOL, not crappy,

but in the name of research, I had to put flame to some big grin. Holy colas. Thanks for the post, bro. Haven't tried a cheese yet got beans but nowhere to put them big grin this is all deacon what are beans oh man i need to learn my lingo deacon give me some lessons skillshare class or something deacon's teaching it anyway but nowhere to put them big

grin everybody's welcome from resin tortures vapor lockers bong meisters me hello blunt suckers joint jammers pipe puffers if you're eating it too cool with a k let me know how it is i'll bump this tonight to see what's up so come on guys poke yay don't be shy later peace bonging metal and that's like the rock star yeah um so deacon sounds very accepting of all people no he's like all ways that they enjoy when he said if you eat it dot dot dot i was like oh yeah me too when you said i was nervous i was nervous felt like he wasn't gonna approve and then we were gonna just be seeking his favor for the rest of time. Brought us right back up. Right back up to cloud nine. Thank you, Captain. Thanks, bud.

Thanks, bud. Oh, that's good. So anyway, now it says, Proceeding to rip some of the muddy bud, lots of red hairs. If I start writing the Aborigines pop and whistle shit, you'll know it's good. Oh, Deacon. Oh, Deaconacon you're losing me yeah he's gonna lose you more because he says lmfao eek damn it uh yeah so that wasn't great

and then he said hey bro this is about one other person who responded hey bro welcome aboard now they shuttled my thread off to the black hole lol didn't even know there was a curing jar for him. Eek! I don't wander much from the growing ever since I went looking around. Do you pull the twins out too while you piss? Eek! Eek! Eek!

I'm freaking old. I never thought about it. Hey ladies, do you wipe back to front? Eek! Eek! So I stay on growing. Bong rip the big mutant tonight. rips I'm toast come on back wave settled okay now he's just hitting letters whatever strain he's on let's not ever do it

uh we need some fun shit hello hello plus reps for showing up peace deacon okay who does he become? Like, this is terrible. I know. That's why Julia was like, I'm not smoky or anything, but I think I'm getting high just from reading this. And imagine that all the- I was like, man, Deacon's so accepting. I know.

And then it just got, like, terrifying. He really turned. And not good. No, in a bad way. This is the last bit. Oh, dear. I'm sorry, last bit. No, no, no.

One more paragraph. That be me with bit. Oh, dear. I'm sorry, last bit. No, no, no. One more paragraph. That be me with said lollibubs. What? I can't read that. You're right. You're reading it. It says lollibub. What, me?

Lollibuds. Roll eyes, and if I don't say so, I've got quite a sack on me, too. There be my trusty thrift shop glass gear, $6 and kick like a mule. Eek! Tonight I'm going to hit till I yodel, bong and bong and bong. Like the bricola guy with the biggest pipe in the world. The bricola guy. The bricola guy.

True though, that pipe. The bricola guy with the biggest pipe in the world. That's pretty smart. Wow. Seen that one, confused. The Prickle guy with the biggest pipe in the world. That's pretty smart. Wow. Seen that one. Confused. I'm at three and counting.

Still at three and counting. So I'm going to flash the bud signal up onto the clouds and see what kind of perverts. What? I'm sorry. It's this enter. So I didn't know what word we were coming to. Perverts? It says what kind of and then enter line. I I like didn't know what word we were coming to. Perverts. This is what kinda and then enter line. I was like, what kinda?

Oh, that word is not what I expected to come next. And see what kind of perverts, misfits, oddballs, reprobates, and general useless turds come visit tonight. Then when all my family is here, eek, I'm going gonna prowl the forums for some guest stars okay okay i know some of you guys are sporting wood at the thought of so much hijinks and hilarity but once the blood returns to your other head come on in say what you're roasting and anything on your mind but not like gay butt sex or snorting rotten cottage cheese through a straw. Cool stuff. So if you can find your way to the nether taint of the grass city universe, eek, come on in and stay high.

Wave. Wait, why did I say it so late? Stay high. Wave. Else I gotta amuse myself. Not that I can't. Mind ya. Smoking. Peace, Deacon. I'm so sorry. wave else i gotta amuse myself not that i can't mind you smoking peace deacon julio why did you do that christina what happened this is like the fox of the marijuana world i'm so alarmed by all of it

no i feel like i'm giving i'm giving deaconacon too much credit. He's a little bit out of touch. He said some other things. Definitely out of touch on some things. Wow. And just wow. I appreciate all the metaphors about the clouds and the sky, because apparently this is a common thread. I think I've completely sobered up from that guy that guy just like whoosh took it all out of me what guy oh deacon like looking around what guy clearly didn't do the same for you i'm sobered up as well no i i'm not quite sober but like holy shit that was

i'm still taking a lift home i'm just that is just alarming i don't know i'm just gonna take it to the weed stop in chicago no i wish we could i wish that were a thing man um why did you introduce me to deacon like i don't know it's i have to go the rest of my day knowing that that's out there when was this written like what year like it's that was part of the thing that julio said like help but like if this were like 2008 right i'd be like okay like i well because he he even said that like uh we were oh 2010 so julio literally says uh we were all in a very different place in 2010 thanks to deacon thanks so true yeah i mean i was a junior in high school um i have to say no edible or cannabis at all here but i got high just reading these so many emojis the vernacular

yeah we were all so 2010 yeah um wow Wow is right. Eek. Okay, I'm sorry. The guy really didn't like it, and now we just keep doing it. Remember when I said wave like that? Wave. Bonging, bonging, bonging. You're like eking for wave. Yeah.

You're expecting an eek, and you got a wave. I'm bonging. Eek. Okay. Bonging, bonging, bonging bonging bonging mind boggling okay all right everybody thank you for getting through this with us this was i had so much fun i hope some of you did too um have a great rest of your time on this on the spinning orb we call Earth.

See you on the mortal coil. Bye. Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet is a Forever Dog production, hosted and produced by Zandy and Christine Schieffer. It's edited by Brian Heveron-Smith, cover art by Courtney Aventura,

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