Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 240: Reviews of Thrift Stores

Episode Date: July 5, 2023

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Canada only. No purchase necessary. Visit the Tim's app for details. Welcome to Beach to Sandy, Water to Wet. A podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. And we're off. Welcome to Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet,

podcast where we read the worst reviews in the most dramatic fashion. My name is Zandy. Hi, I'm Xteen. I want to say, you know, I apologize to everyone because Sandy and I have outgrown our current station in life. That's news to me. Well, Alexander, there's no need to be so humble. We reached a million views of our TikTok today. Yeah, we had one TikTok get a million views.

And I just feel like there's no going back, you know? We're on to bigger, better things. Yeah. Well, we did go back because our next few videos did not hit a million. Irrelevant that the next one was 2,000 views. It doesn't really have anything to do. The next one was 20,000. That was pretty good. Yeah, and the next one was 2,000. Yeah, okay.

But, hey. Bigger, better things are one was too. But yeah, okay. But hey, bigger, better things are on the way. Y'all, maybe that means that there's something worth seeing. So go visit our TikTok at Beach 2, Sandy. Also, you know, we were featured in the New York Times once and we said, we're turning that away to continue this project. And we gave up on that dream of something involving being in the New York Times to continue this. Yeah. But I feel like this is the last, the final straw. You know, we're in it. We're on it.

We're leaving. Yeah. This is our future. This is the final episode. This is it. Oh, yes. TikTok's our future. I don't know what's going on right now.

TikTok is the future. TikTok. Said every boomer. Heard it here first, folks. You never know. Said every boomer in a meeting at a backwards company trying to be relevant. Cool. So anyway, I'm totally kidding.

We literally have no life without this show. Or at least I. I mean, speak for myself. You're on all ends of the spectrum. Speak for myself. I did have a very intense therapy session today and made myself a cup of decaf tea oh like that's where i am like peppermint like no it is a earl gray decaf oh it's i was gonna say decaf tea i feel like that's so many teas but it's specifically a tea that

normally has caffeine but it's not caffeinated you know and like i told you fascinating i had to take some anxiety medicine i'm in a um and then i lost the anxiety yeah that was that was interesting i watched her scrounge around her this studio looking for a pill i was like i can't have a dog eat that what if juniper eats my klonopin anyway i found it don. He's going to reach another plane of existence. That dude. Okay. Cat nipped who? Am I right? Right.

So right. Okay. Sorry. I promise nobody ate a pill they weren't supposed to, except me, but I was supposed to because my name's on the bottle. Okay. So should we continue? Let's do it. Okay.

Today we're doing thrift stores. Yes. Cool. Do you want me to go first? Absolutely. Okay. My first one is from Elta. My mistake.

I didn't mean for that to slip out. No. Well, because Elta. Because my first four are from Elta or something like that. Oh, could it be? Could it be? Guess who we're seeing in Kansas City. Seriously?

Elta's coming to the Kansas City show. Shut up. Isn't that sweet? How exciting. Yeah. Well, I mean, Elta will see us. I don't know if we'll see her. That's true.

Maybe it'll just be obvious. Yeah. Because she'll be wearing a big medal that says most reviews sent to me. She's Sandy. Besides Emma of American Girl Doll fame and some other, when we basically gave her a hat trick of picking her theme for like three weeks. By the way, Emma, where the hell are you? I've missed you. Yeah, well, it's funny because I remember

people's names usually because I end up being catty about them showing up in so many things. I get mean. Yeah, we just complain and complain. Because you bring another Emma thing and I roll my eyes. I'm like, oh, here comes the Emma thing. There's my Hayley again. Gregory's back. Gregory. Well, Gregory's back today. I can't get rid of this guy. No, you. Gregory. Well, Gregory's back today. Oh, God. I can't get rid of this guy. No, you can't. Anyway, Elta. I hope Elta is wearing something like that, especially because this episode comes out

after the Kansas City show. Oh, great. So it'll just be a weird coincidence. So if it happens, it's all Elta. Okay. So here is my first review. This is of the Church of St. Peter Thrift Store. Okay.

Because we're doing thrift stores, by the way. We haven't said that yet. I did say that. Oh, you did say that. I sure did. I haven't said it, so they weren't listening. It didn't hold as much weight when I said it. That's what I'm trying to say.

So this is in St. Peter, Minnesota. Here's a two-star review. Fairly nice place with good pricing, but they did accuse me of stealing my own shirt, which I thought was an interesting sales strategy. End of review. You gotta pay for that. You gotta pay for that. That, I feel like you just unlocked a fear in me that I didn't think existed. Well, they were wearing a Church of St. Peter thrift store merch shirt. Yeah. It was a whole thing.

And it said not for sale. There was like a pin on the back that said not for sale. Yeah. And they did take it out of an employee locker. Yeah. It was a whole thing. Yeah. Got to pay for it.

No. It's silly. I have a review here. This was sent in by Brittany kind of a long time ago. I just realized also, remember when I was like, oh, here's my Haley again. I realized my Haley gave you your challenge today. Oh, that's right. I didn't even realize it until just now.

I'm glad you said that because I forgot. Oh, I did write that down actually. Yeah. So this was sent in by Brittany a long time ago. It's a review of the Goodwill in Portland. A Goodwill in Portland. I don't know which one. I'm sure there are many.

This is a three star review by Martin. Definitely negative. I got harassed by security who stole my vodka bottle. He was saying I shouldn't leave open bottle in cart where kindergarten kids were running amok with grazing parents.

Really? I said them kids not going to think about booze yet at that age. Besides, it would taste horrible for them youthful tongues. Them youthful tongues. Worst order of words

to ever come out of the English language. You know how them youthful tongues be? Horrific. Not liking the taste of alcohol. They have a point. Do they?

I don't like how they put it, but like, I don't know. I think they have a point. What are they going to be like? I don't think they should have this open bottle of vodka. Here, try it. But like, I'm just saying like, yeah, it's not going to kill anyone to have a bottle. The kindergartner is not the issue here, I think. Yeah.

You know, like you're not corrupting minds by having an open vodka bottle. I mean, maybe a little bit. Inside a store, you're just drinking out of an open vodka bottle for some reason. Like, that's upsetting. I mean, in Europe, they drink on the train, you know, shit like that. Like, vodka. And they're all fine over there, so I guess that's true. No, I...

The youthful tongues took it all away. It's not good. It's not good. You don't say that. That's just weird. So it says youthful tongues, then it says, Yes, but... Blah, blah, blah. I stopped everything and just walked out out of the store. I was not trespassed.

I hope you enjoy my booze. It was inside a brown bag for Mormon's sake. What is going on? I don't know. That's hilarious. High number of staff working there. Three people found this helpful. End of review.

They're just having a drink. Look. Okay. Look, I'll have an edible and go to a Goodwill or something, you know, like granted maybe. Well, actually, I would eat an edible. But I'm just saying, they're just enjoying their time in the thrift store. Well, they're obviously not enjoying their time. Well, actually, I would eat an edible. And it's like, but I'm just saying they're just enjoying their time in the thrift store. Well, they're obviously not enjoying their time. Well, not.

They were. But I respect the three stars. You know, like, I got to say this weirdly. For Mormon's sake, Alexander. Give it a rest. They're like, come on, nerds. Like, just let me have my vodka. What are you, a Mormon or something?

I don't know why I thought it was so funny. I've never heard someone say for mormon for mormon's sake i mean we just had our salt lake city show i wish i kept calling them morons well i okay to be clear in context i was not calling them morons wait actually yes i was i was that's true that is patently but don't worry the crowd loved it patently true because i was just reading a review where they accidentally typed Mormons as morons. And I got such a kick out of it that I kept it up without being asked or invited to. That's so funny. Oh my gosh. For Mormons sake.

For Mormons sake. I wish you had heard that before'm disappointed yeah our salt lake show but don't worry they got plenty of they got a lot they got they got enough mormon shit so so true okay so here is another from elta this is a review of the goodwill in mankato minnesota m-A-N-K-A-T-O. Did I say that right? I don't fucking know. I'm sure you didn't, because someone's going to get mad.

Oh, well. It's like when you said squim wrong, and everybody lost their damn minds. What the hell is squim? You said sequim, because it was spelled S-E-Q. Yeah, that's stupid. In Washington or whatever. And you said, I don't know how to pronounce it. And everyone's like, it's squim.

It's like, in what world would I ever guess squim? When you hear somebody say it wrong. Cringe. Cringe. Anyway. Wow, sorry. This is more about us than these people. I got a lot to unpack over here, apparently.

Here's a two-star review of the Mankato Goodwill in Minnesota. A bit overpriced, but not too bad compared to most Goodwills. I think they should implement a return policy for clothing since they don't have fitting rooms. Then maybe I would be more inclined to buy here. Staff are nice, though. It's not their fault we live in a terrible late-stage capitalist society. End of review. Respect. I agree. their fault we live in a terrible late stage capitalist society end of review respect i agree i mean i'm so glad you let them off the hook finally i feel like the goodwill employees were feeling like responsible for the whole state of our world well people tend to like

i've seen plenty of people including people close to, who let out their frustrations about how a business is run on the employees. And it's like, trust me, these employees that you're dealing with face to face are not the ones making the decisions that you're upset about. Right. So that's basically what this is. It's like they're acknowledging that, like, the staff has nothing to do with the policies that Goodwill implements. Right. So they're saying the staff is nice. They're just victims like the rest of us.

They are. They're probably more so victims than the customers. Oh, for sure. Absolutely. Absolutely. In many places. I'm glad we can finally give them the credit they deserve. It's 240 episodes or something.

It's about time we take a stand against late stage capitalism agreed and this is us doing it anyway moving on so this is another review from elta she her this is a review of a thrift store called finders keepers and it's a two for one so i'm gonna read two reviews because they're related. Do you have it? What are you looking at? I have this one in my thing. Damn it. I don't remember them. You don't?

No. Really? I put it in my folder. Maybe too late? Weird. I pulled it up today. You said I could take any thrift store reviews last night. Oh, I know.

But then I thought you'd already done it. So today I just glanced at the inbox. That's fine. I'm sorry. No, I thought it was in my thing, though. It is now. Oh, OK. Weird.

I think I had marked it red, like I'd opened it. Oh, really? Yeah. I don't know. Oh, well. I'm ready to hear it. Sorry about that. I don't remember it.

OK. This is the first one one star by nicole worst place ever owner's child throwing temper tantrums and hitting customers parentheses me it's so good i really yeah as you started i was like oh yeah it's this one that parentheses i'm glad you like focused on that because I thought it was so funny. Like, hitting customers. Everyone's saying it. It's just me, but everyone's saying it.

Okay, it goes on. Also, owner is absolutely the most unfriendly person I've ever met. Not a good way to get sales. End of review. They should try accusing people of stealing the clothes that they're wearing. It seems to be an effective way to get an income. Yes. They should just allow an open container policy.

They should. Oh, my God. Man, we could teach a lot. Teach these thrift stores a lot. Hello? Have you ever heard of management training? Give him his vodka back. You know what I mean?

And so this is the other review elta sent sent in they are back to back uh in this screenshot and so i'm going to just read this one star review um this is by jay one star went to the store a while back did end up buying a few things, but won't be returning. The owner's child hit me while I was looking at a table, which was apparently their fort, which I did not think was very appropriate. Though I do understand kids need their space, being hit by the child wasn't necessary.

End of review. I actually didn't read that all the way through. He was trespassing in this child's fort. I didn't read that all the way through. He was trespassing in this child's fort. I didn't read to the fort part yet. I was just like, oh, child hitting? Okay, I'm in. Sorry, the child being the one hitting, not the other way around. I also love the idea that it's kind of mysterious

because they're hiding under a table fort and somehow managed to attack the intruder. He's like, I was just looking at this table and all of a sudden i started getting attacked by this child which means he probably sprung out from under the bed or table i love how this reviewer is like trying to excuse it yeah to an to the extent to say hey look i'm not a i'm not i'm or something. I've built forts with the rest of them. I get it. I can appreciate a good fort, but not when this antique table is such a steal and I'm really looking for something oaked in my dining room.

The child could have said any nasty things, but don't hit me. Yeah, but that's too far. You could have shot, I don't know, Nerf darts at me from under that table. But no. Maybe that is what they did. Honestly, maybe. I don't know, Nerf darts at me from under that table. But no. Maybe that is what they did. Honestly, maybe. I wouldn't blame them. It's their fort.

That would have been an acceptable response if you ask me. It's trespassing. It is trespassing. Absolutely. This episode is brought to you by RBC Student Banking. Students, get $100 when you open an RBC Advantage banking account, which includes no monthly fee, unlimited debit transactions in Canada, Avion points on debit purchases, and so, so much more.

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Now playing only in theaters. All right, my next one. I think this might be my last one from Elta. This is a review of Hands of Friendship Thrift Store in Scott County, Minnesota. Oh, did you see my mug? Now it says New Prague, which I'm... Oh, Waffle House mug. Who sent that?

Someone sent us all this cool shit. I don't remember. I'm so bad about this. It says at the bottom, swiped from the break room at my work, smiley face. Hilarious. But I don't remember the name of the person. I still have all this stuff. Yeah, yeah, me too.

I think I have a card from that, like the card from that box. I have a lot. We get some stuff and sometimes like it just gets into our normal rotation of items. Yeah. Like this Waffle House mug she's holding. Yeah. And then we're just like, where is this even from? Nobody knows.

Yeah. It's a mystery. A wonderful person. Anyway, it's new. It says New Prague, Minnesota. So I'm going to say New Prague. Oh. Because I have a feeling it's one of those, you know, that doesn't pronounce it.

Yeah, Versailles. Yeah, Versailles. Lima. Mm-hmm. Things like that. Anyway, New Prague, Minnesota. I don't know if I'm right, but I don't really care. One Star by Molly.

I don't really care. One Star by Molly. If you love garage sale items with antique store prices and you found the right place, way out in what seemed to be the middle of nowhere. This is coming from someone who lives in a tiny rural area 20 to 30 minutes from the nearest grocery store. I don't enjoy posting negative reviews. You guys can decide for yourselves

what you think or feel about places. Whatever. That's why you're reading this. Please heed this subtle warning. Parental guidance is totally advised. Very overpriced. Wait. Parental guidance for what?

I think... For hearing this review? The rest of the review. Okay, hold on. Mom? I just need you here for like two seconds. Yeah. It's not going to be a big deal.

I don't think it's that bad. I just need you to sign this permission slip for me. To read, to listen to Molly's review. Yeah. Oh boy. Very overpriced for what is in my 30 plus years of exploring estate slash yard sales, thrift shopping,

you name it. And no, I'm shopping, you name it. And no, I'm not a cheap ass broke you know what. I do purchase expensive antiques and items of high value. Go crawl into this oversized dumpster of what I assume was stuff which didn't make it to somebody's garage sales free box. Sorry, not sorry. Honest opinion.

I've been looking forward to making the long journey out there to see it. I am ashamed for doing so usually after experiencing a bad trip to a thrift shop i'll try it again another time and find that sometimes you will find things that surprise you or the dosage was off you know you never know they put it bad trip in parentheses as if or in quotations as if that's what they were implying maybe it was like cut with speed or fentanyl or something what was i don't their trip that would be bad yeah yeah it happens does it okay i mean

i wouldn't know i've just heard about it on the news i think there's something else and you'll find out what it is oh okay sometimes you'll find things that surprise you in a good way i'm afraid that the only surprise about this joint is why don't you go there for yourself and find out huh they say i i don't understand this reviewer mom the only surprise about this joint is dot dot dot why don't you go out go and find out yourself what the fuck does that mean i don't know i don't know but here we go. There's more? Yeah. Here's a tip. Bring some smelling salts and toilet paper,

because after you read the price tag on the first item you look at, you'll most certainly either shit your pants and... Whoa! Whoa! I can't get through this. Take it down a notch. All because you see the prices. You'll most certainly either shit your pants and or faint. The one pro about this nightmarish recycling facility,

I learned how to roll my eyes today many times. What? I have perfected my technique. If you want to support a gospel-based secondhand store, go to one of the St. Vincent de Paul shops or Salvation Army stores. Those are the secret weapon of many a happy picker. Thank you for listening and being my therapist. I really needed this confession session.

Love you guys. End of review. I'm sorry. I was such a shitty therapist. Sounds like an email to us that we'd read and be like, what the fuck? You're like, are we? Are they? I had this crazy experience.

Should we call somebody? Let me tell you about it. Because at the end, they're like, oh, thanks for listening. Thanks for letting me vent. Love you all. Bye. This is, it just, it felt a lot more sinister than those emails. Like, this one felt like.

Yes. No, but in a worse way. In a much worse. In a negative way. Like, I don't, I at first didn't understand why we needed parental supervision. Now I just so wish my mommy were here because I'm unsettled. But I still feel like you don't know why. Yeah, because it's unsettling.

I just feel uncomfortable. You don't understand what the hell happened. And I don't like how much she talked without saying literally anything at all. It was a lot. Like, here's my question. Would you rather shit your pants and or faint? So shit my pants and fainting is an option? Yeah.

Like that's a thing I'd rather do? It's an option. If that's something that you feel like you... I am... The idea of fainting really scares me. So I would rather shit my pants and not faint. Because the idea of like losing that control... Like I've never blacked out before from alcohol.

I've never like... I know that's different, obviously. But like the idea of like losing consciousness suddenly scares the shit out of me. Yeah. And I guess there's more risk obviously, but the idea of losing consciousness suddenly scares the shit out of me. Yeah, and I guess there's more risk of a head injury. Yeah, I could fall down, especially in this place with all the garage sale items. Well, yeah. I mean, you're going to fall on a rake, and then what?

And also, shit my pants and faint? That shit is going to be- Who's going to help you up after that? Not you. I'm out of there. It doesn't Not you. I'm out of there. It doesn't matter what. I'm out of there. That's why we need mom's supervision.

She'll help us. Yeah, you've convinced me. I was going to say faint for sure, but now I'm like, wait a minute. Yeah. No. That's not right. No. Shitting your pants?

I mean, we've all kind of done it. It happens. Okay. This is from Becky, and this is a thrift shop in the UK. It's a one-star review by Penny. Bad experience. Rude staff. Interesting books.

We entered two people with two backpacks each, and the woman- Why? It's a robbery? What are you trying to do? It sounds threatened. It sounds like a threat. Who's in the getaway car? This is so good.

Wow. We entered two people with two backpacks each. Like you didn't even have to say with two backpacks each. You could have said two backpacks and we would have been like, okay, this probably means one per person. But they specified two backpacks each. Why would you admit to that? Yeah, right?

Like, it's a weird thing to do. Sorry. Like, a backpack and a duffel also sounds like you're robbing the place, but that feels a lot more normal. What are you, are you one on the front, one on the back? Great question. I mean, that seems kind of- Then it looks like you're strapped up to a bomb or something.

Maybe they're like some like cross-country hike-in or something. That's not how you get a bigger backpack. I feel like Also, they have like push carts for that. For what? If you walk across country. I've followed TikTokers who've walked across, like literally from like Boston

My brother-in-law's partner did that. Oh, really? That's cool. Emily. Yeah, I was like this must be someone I know because. You know Emily, right? She's from Cincinnati. Luke's partner. I do. She walked across the country.

I do. I've only met her like twice maybe. Yeah. The baby shower. Yes. She walked across the country. I'll ask her how many backpacks she had on at one time. Please do.

Yeah. Because I've seen these people do it with like push a cart, like a special cart for... Could I sit in the cart? You? And get pushed. Because I'll do that. We'll see. I'll ask Emily. Yeah.

We entered, two people with two backpacks each, and the woman at the cashier's was looking very suspiciously at us. When I asked if she wants us to leave the bag somewhere, she showed us a place where we should do it. On our way out, it turned out they had distributed all of our belongings for donation. Oh, no. Okay, that's bad. That's so hilariously bad.

They're like, oh, we got an old Snickers wrapper with half-eaten Snickers inside. An iPad. We got a range of stuff in here. If someone went through my backpack, they'd find like a Chippendales photograph. Oh, there's crazy shit in my bags from traveling. They'd find all sorts of crap. Like, they would find stuff that I don't even know what it is anymore. Yeah. I don't even look through my bag. Like, how would you price

these items? I probably have weed in here. To be honest, like, I wonder how they would price them. Like, I would... A lighthouse passport. What are they gonna do? Sell that to somebody? Yeah, they're gonna frame it. No! Ten grand, I guess, I think. No! I did sign it, so you're right. Oh, shit. There goes all that

value it once had. Oh, yeah. I was saying the opposite. On our way out, it turned out they had distributed all of our belongings for donation. When we explained there was a misunderstanding, they kept on blaming us instead of agreeing on a mutual apology and kept on insisting we hurry since they were closing in 20 minutes. Oh, no. on insisting we hurry since they were closing in 20 minutes oh no i understand the logic that charity shop are expecting donations but the way they handled the situation was extremely stressful for us end of review understandably okay but think about it it becomes like that game show

with the grocery cart uh-huh timer 20 minutes go find all of your own belongings right sounds like a terrible game show it's the world's worst game show. Yeah. We watched the supermarket in Florida with Dee and Christiane and Kevin. We watched, there was a supermarket sweep channel. Shut up. Yeah. On like certain TV.

I don't know what it was. Like channel 6825. It was like a special channel. Yeah. And it was all supermarket sweep. And we watched- The old and the new ones? Many episodes.

Or just the old ones? Just the old ones, I believe. But not like the original. Do you know that's one of the oldest game shows? Yeah, it's really effing old. It's so weird to watch the old ones. I will say there's something about that show that gives me a deep-seated discomfort.

Again, I'm not saying it's like the capitalism part. Obviously, that's pretty fucking obvious. But there's something about like the timer and like the. It like really, I think since I was little, every time I watched that, I just I was too much too panicky. No, that's something too much stress. I love watching game shows because a lot of them I'm like, I would love to be on that. I never felt that way.

Never. Supermarket Street. But I also am anxious when I go in a grocery store. I do not like grocery stores. Probably because we watch that show. Maybe. Maybe. But sorry, the original episode aired in 1965.

Wow. It's hilarious. We watched- Maybe I haven't seen that far back. It's like in black and white. Oh my gosh. No, yeah. It's like not the one that we saw when we were younger.

Yeah. With like the guy with the sweaters. I didn't realize quite how old it was. No, yeah. It's like not the one that we saw when we were younger. Yeah. With like the guy with the sweaters. I didn't realize quite how old it was. No, it's old. It's old. And it was like really funny because you're watching and he's like, all right, ladies, because it's like, how much is all right? How much is a pork ham hocker?

Like you better get your home in time for dinner or else, hubby will be mad. Where's his pork roast? And they're like 15 cents and you're like, wow, they got it right on and you're like, holy shit.

Thanks, Ronald Reagan. It's literally the 60s. I'm, I know that. I'm, it's fine. Don't worry about it.

I know. The other day on And That's Where You Drink, I called a president. Oh. Harrison Ford. So I was like, do you want to guess what president stayed in this hotel? And I said Harrison Ford.

Maybe he did stay in that hotel. And then I met Harold Ford. And then I was like, I think it's Gerald Ford. As you said that, I'm like, that sounds closer, but not quite. I have some folks who have seven children well are you watching the original episode i have some folks that have seven children oh wow that's quite impressive i love the transatlantic i mean not that that i was doing that properly but those old-timey hosts man oh they knew how to do it they knew how to do it anyway i have one more from

elta oh yeah turns out what are we talking about again thrift stores it's something like that this is another one of the hands of friendship um thrift store aka is this a garage sale that that lady yes this is the one that was just complained about god she was so rude um i'm only going to read like the first couple sentences here we go two-star review the store is basically a huge horde there's way too much stuff and it's like amazing there i heard other customers calling marco polo to find each other in the aisles end of review there was a small kid under a fort under a blanket and he was playing marco polo no that child was just hitting people trying to find people attacking intruders who responded and they used echo location to

know where to no that's actually just a good a good trick you're under a table you go marco i thought you'd say the trick what's the trick here that is the trick you do you just say marco Because someone might be inclined to say Polo. So what's the trick there? I have a better trick. Better trick. You sneeze. I hope you have a better trick.

You sneeze. And then someone, someone is going to say bless you, and then you'll know exactly where they are. What's the trick? That now you know where they are. Oh, it's like that comic about, I mean they people edit it all the time um people edit it for and that's why i drink with uh when like someone's hiding from a murderer and they go hello and then they say fresh oh yeah yeah but there's also like red robin yum like stupid things like that

that have like a call response so you sneeze and they say bless you oh shit yeah that's what i meant yeah and like tiktok you found like call response, like those videos that teachers do with their students or they do like a call and response to like focus them. Never mind. Okay. Your turn. Okay. This is from Hannah Sheher and this is of Goodwill. It's a one star review by Lucy.

So crazy. it's a one star review by Lucy so crazy do yourself a favor and never donate anything just because you're being pressured to by a family member I made a huge mistake last week and donated a framed picture that I had owned for 18 years a renaissance painting?

I was on a lot of Dive and Hydra. I thought I was like, did you like whip out an old thing? My sister. I know that's not how that one starts. That one has all talk of like- It's missing all the- Different juice. All the pear juice.

Pear juice and everything. Wow. Literally, you're totally right. Sounds like the same disaster that took place. Are you pressured to donate this painting? Uh-oh. I went in today and saw it still for sale, which really upset me. I didn't want to donate it in the first place.

When I inquired about getting it back, I was told they would review footage of people donating last week, and if they could see my car, they would return it to me. After waiting for over an hour, Jodi, the manager, told me that she had not seen my vehicle but would look again later. I realized that I had shown her a picture of the front of my car, not the back. So she had no idea what she was looking for. Whose fault is that? I know. I'm like, wait a minute. Here's my car. Okay, I'm going to look for it. Oh, man. I showed the wrong picture. An hour later't know what she was doing an hour later was like

by the way I gave you the wrong image can you search again go back through all that footage one more time oh my god there we go the end result

is that I had to pay to get my own property back nothing like being treated like a complete liar and paying to get my own property back okay you gave it

this is not how this works you donated it I'm shocked that they were even entertaining the idea of giving it back for free i'm sorry you can't just donate stuff and then be like i changed my you know and it's a goodwill it's like they're not selling it for five grand like you know you can go in and yeah i get that it's probably way overpriced a ding to your ego or something to buy your own property but if if it's it's i mean i'm sorry that's how it works okay what if someone had bought it already

that's what i thought was gonna happen within that hour or something i thought they're gonna say oh and someone bought it while i was oh they wouldn't have let that happen they would have they would have tackled them down i kind of wish I were that person who were buying that painting just so I could be like, no, I'm buying it. It has a sticker on it. It has a yellow sticker. I'm allowed to buy it. It's mine now. Yeah, that's how the rules work. Oh, I would be. That's totally how I would handle that situation. Beside myself. I definitely wouldn't be like, oh, I'm so sorry. This is yours. Okay, you can have it. I didn't mean it. I'll just pay for it so you can take it home.

I'll never go into a thrift store again, I swear. Mom, where are you? Okay. Nothing like being treated like a complete liar and paying to get my own property back. I've done a lot of business with this location for the last six months. Yeah, including trying to steal back

shit that you gave them yeah is that called business yeah is that what business is i'm telling you i don't know giving them something and then like pressuring them so you're you're pressured to give this to them then you're pressuring them to give it back to you for free even though you donated it and you messed up the the hints. Then you messed up. Like the clues. And then got mad at them. This is wild. Okay. I've done a lot of business with this location for the last six months.

If this is not resolved and a refund issued, I will never do business with this location again. Beware. Never ever donate anything unless you are willing to part with it forever. Hello? Are they kidding? This is insane to me. This is like the wildest understanding of what donating

something means. I don't know how to explain to them. I don't get it. I mean, you're lucky they still had it. Yeah. If you had just given it to a a pickup a salvation pickup and then they take it to somewhere in the city like you'd be searching for it yeah beware never ever donate anything unless you are willing to part with it forever because being

treated like a complete liar is ugly on so many levels you cannot even imagine how badly this made me feel and you will feel exactly the same way I do. End of review. Jeez. I'm, like, afraid of something. Yeah. Like, I'm just, like, I don't. This is just a complete misunderstanding or disconnect or something.

It's not the goodwill's fault that your friend peer pressured you into giving away something you cherished. Like, I understand the stress of that but i don't think that's goodwill's fault sorry i'm surprised yeah and i know i said this already but i'm surprised they were gonna give it back yeah me too if they had i'm surprised they took the time to go through the security footage i mean like yeah true i because i would be totally their right to say um even if you if you were the one that donated it you donated it it's not doesn't belong to you anymore i call bullshit that they called her a liar because I'm like. Oh, is that what they said?

Yeah, they were like. They said they were felt like a liar. No, they said nothing. Here. Yeah. But the way I took it was like the situation made them feel like they thought they were. They were because they couldn't find the right info. Well, they said nothing like being treated like a complete liar.

And then later they said being treated like a complete liar is ugly on so many levels. But I don't think they treated her. No, I think it's a them thing. Because if you were treated like a liar, they'd be like, no, you didn't. Yeah, they actually tried. I'm not going to look for your car. We can't find the proof, so we can't sell it back to you. And also, what a weird thing to accuse someone of lying about.

Like, you just want this $10 painting for free, you liar. But, like, they probably were like, we can't just give it away to someone who claims this. Claims that they donated it when there's no proof that they did. You know? Like, yeah. The whole thing is just weird. Oh, my God. Oh, boy.

That was a lot. That was crazy. Crazy. Oh my god. Oh boy, that was a lot. That was crazy. Crazy. So I've got one more review. Great. This one is from Alex They Them. This is of the Goodwill in Redmond, Washington. This is a four star review. Good.

But an old lady stole my spoons right out of my cart. End of review. Oh, now that is the kind of drama I'm here for. Not the spoon, right? That's the kind of drama. Yeah, so true. What kind of spoons were they? They must have been special.

They were probably those like, didn't they have spoons that like played music in your mouth? Huh? Like those toothbrushes, those like cereal spoons. Oh my God. They were collectible Frosted Flakes spoons. You're 100% right. I could be right. What else?

What other kind of spoon would you steal? Wasn't that a thing? Yes. It changed color in your milk or something. Maybe it didn't play music. I think that's the toothbrush. Just the toothbrushes. But the spoons were special.

And so you're probably right. That is probably what happened. Some sort of special cereal spoon. Tony Tiger spoon. And this old lady was like, finally. Yeah, I think I'm just an idiot. I've been seeking. Making things up that I wished I had when I was a child.

A singing spoon? A singing spoon. Cool. Why would it do that? That makes no sense. I don't know. So maybe that's why it was so special at this Goodwill, that they found one of those because they don't actually exist. Yeah, it could be.

That some old lady stole it. This is from Lauren Sheevey, and this is of their local Goodwill. It's a three-star review. Find good deals, but stocking team and loading team are poor. If you buy furniture, be sure you make them loaded. The gentleman asked for my help. Then lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lopet lop way you were about to keep going and i'm like excuse me did you hear the the the noises that came out of your mouth i need you to understand like a serial spring playing music in your mouth that's because i put it in the milk and they're like you're not supposed to get it wet

yeah that makes no sense now it sounds my idea makes no sense okay i guess the toothbrush gets wet and it plays music sorry the gentleman the just like hear me out spell it or okay sure t-h-e-n-l-p-e-t-t-h-e-n-l-p-e that's one word okay okay so let me just say the full sentence and i won't promise that there's more context okay but i will let you i will imply that there might be okay just i'll just let you keep going. I will imply that there might be. Okay, I'll just let you finish the sentence. The gentleman asked for my help. Then a little piece hit my head with its sharp corner. Oh no, it hit a little too hard. It hit a little too hard.

I told you it might make some sense. That's so bad. But it goes on. Oh, no. His words were, Warderfu. It's happening. Oh, no.

It says, his words were, quote, B-W- One word. B-W-O-R-D-R-E-F-U. Warderfu. Oh.

What? What's happening? I need to call an ambulance or something. Oh, no. Like, this is alarming. I'm scared for this person. It hit my head with its sharp corner. Warder-fu.

Oh, God. Okay. And then this guy kept yelling warder-fu at me, and I didn't know what was going on. Oh, my God. And then a big tunnel opened up with't know what was going on. Oh my God. And then a big tunnel opened up with a light at the other end. Oh no. Hit my head with its sharp corner. His words were,

and then it says, enter, enter. Be careful. So I don't know if they were trying to write. That was also in quotations? Yeah. Oh, wow. They were like, I'm going to leave all of these like moments that i'm

just like preserve them the way they are not 100 yeah and leave it as evidence like a testimony right for what happened to me and yeah like what kind like the lawyer in court will be like what kind, like the lawyer in court will be like, what kind of intelligent human says board refood? Never mind, I'd be a terrible lawyer. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know who you're, just by that sentence, I cannot tell which side you're on as a lawyer. And I'm like, that's probably not a good sign. That's a great point. Are you like insulting your own client?

Or are you? For both teams. You're playing. Bold. Thanks. Be careful. Even the manager had asked if he needed help. I feel very distraught and aggrieved at what happened today.

End of review. Yeah. I do too. I do too. You need to get your head checked out, my dear. I agree. Bored. The gentleman asked for my help.

A sharp corner hit me in the head. I mean, it's like we're watching in real time. Yeah. As this traumatic event occurs. Oh, that's dangerous. Oh, my gosh. Anyway. Oh, that's all you had?

Yeah. Okay, I have one more negative and then a redemption. Sounds good. This is a negative from Ab. It's a one-? Yeah. Okay. I have one more negative and then a redemption. Sounds good. This is a negative from Ab. It's a one-star review by Tammy. Oh, and by the way, I think Ab said this too. It appears to be a speech-to-text because there's not a single punctuation. So is that other one.

She just held it up to the employee. Say what you have to say. Boo! That's it. Seriously. Got it. I'll write that down. Very disappointed in the new manager.

Missy was top notch on her job. Always worked hard, always honest, and went 90 to nothing to do her job. The new manager has hacked the prices way too high. The usual in there is myself every day are not in there as much. One of their biggest buyers looked at me the other day, said I don't like this Goodwill anymore. Whoever let Missy go made a poor choice and should be ashamed. They hurt someone who put their all into their job. I've seen through the years how poorly Goodwill treats their employees. Shame on you. However, one day when you are casting

good folks out, you will be cast out yourself. Oh, dear God. And I hope God finds you. However, one day when you are casting good folks out, you will be cast out yourself. Oh, dear God. And I hope God finds you. Does it say that? Yes. Jesus. No, I said it. I was like, is this person being biblical?

I can't tell. I did look you directly in the eye when I said that. And then, yeah, we make eye contact and she goes, I hope God finds you. Oh, I didn't mean to say that out loud. That was just my inner monologue. Sometimes when I look at you, that just comes into my brain. That happens to me when I hit my head. Oh, what about that?

That's what God tells me. Oh, no. That's the only time I speak to God. I've seen through the years how poorly Goodwill treats their employees. Shame on you. However, one day when you are casting good folks out, you will be cast out yourself. And I hope God finds you. However, one day when you are casting good folks out, you will be cast out yourself. And I hope God finds you. I pray that God will show light again on what goodwill stands for and treat their employees better.

Some of these hard workers have been there 20 years, still making $9.50 an hour. Shame on you, goodwill. Won't be coming there anymore. End of review. Please be reminded that was one sentence. So any pauses were just my intake of breath there actually was no pause in this train of thought yeah um also like i just can't get over hacked the price is way too high because i'm like i think that doesn't work it's crazy there's a whole yeah i i think

that's usually hacking it's tough to to add we're slashing prices hacking they're triple than what they were yesterday that's not how this works um but yeah i i there's a subreddit about um the opposite of like thrift store halls it's like the way that these places especially goodwill um will price things yeah and sometimes you'll go you'll like look at these and it's like fucking like oh i've seen these just like a fucking it's like a broken candle yeah and you're like what there was one i saw where they had a it's actually like quite entertaining they had a candle but it was burned like almost to the bottom like there was barely any left and it was like eight dollars and it was like bath bed bath and be no bath and body works but it was like i mean there was like nothing in it they were like this won't even on the one hand it's like why are people donating this like it's just sometimes they're just donating their trash recycle that instead of like

or like you can take that wax and like reform it into something if you really wanted to but like if you thought there was use then use it yourself don't like don't put it in your ears a really shitty candle that's already broken or whatever or on your braces your break donate your braces no put the wax on the wax on your braces true that always was that yeah and it'll taste like cucumber melon oh nice yeah i didn't have that flavor well because you didn't take a bath and body works candle and put it in yeah it's interesting i would love that um but yeah They have a point about goodwill prices and treatment of employees. However, that got

biblical. I mean, you know, all that goodwill stands for. I'm like, what is that? Goodwill, I guess, is what it stands for? I don't know why God would cast whatever.

God's like, oh, you work for goodwill goodwill i'm casting you out you're done like get out i don't want and honestly you're not one of my children honestly can i tell you something i'm never gonna find you again she says i hope god i'm gonna look i'm not gonna look i'm gonna close my eyes yeah god that's not very nice um okay this is a redemption from elta this is A Redemption from Elta. This is my last one. Elta, like, started and closed out this whole theme. This is a four-star review by Nicole. I've shopped here quite a lot.

The staff is normally very nice and helpful, but as far as prices go, sometimes I eek at the sight of them because they are too expensive. And other times they're right in my price range or sometimes but rarely cheaper. I am a very cheap person, though. So when I go into a thrift store, I expect a great deal. Anyway, the thrift store is very spacious and clean and always usually have everything placed in the correct spots. So like 80% of the time they have everything 100% correct.

What is that saying? Fucking like Anchorman. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 80% of the time works 100%. 100% yes, exactly. Anyway, the thrift store is very spacious and clean and always usually have everything placed in the correct spots. In conclusion, it's a nice thrift store.

Prices could be better, but they'll do. And it is clean and pretty big. I suggest going by their sales days. If you want better deals, though, hope this review helped. Smiley face. It did, except for the eek in the middle there. I didn't like that. That part, Elta highlighted for me just in case I didn't see it.

Probably because Elta searched eek for thrift store reviews. That's my theory. Maybe. Elta's just out to get me. I don't think so. Time to be catty about Elta. Let me have this. You know why? It always happens.

You know why? Because there are multiple E's in the Eek. And that's not how you spell Eek on the cruise ship. Okay, fair. Cruise critic forums. It's just two on the forums. It's just two E's. Huh.

So. Interesting. I think it's an Eek from the wild. Hmm, a wild Eek. Has been spotted. A cool cruiser was out and about. Oh the wild. A wild eek. Has been spotted. A cool cruiser was out and about. Oh, God. Not on a cruise.

Take cover. Anyway, that's all. Okay. It's time for my challenge. Finally. What? I don't know. It's from Mahaley.

Mahaley. Mahaley. Reviews where someone physically gets stuck somewhere. I'm thrilled about that. I'm literallyaley. I'm Haley. Reviews where someone physically gets stuck somewhere. I'm thrilled about that. I'm literally so thrilled. This is one of the few that I've actually remembered before we started recording. It's fun. And I got some help, so it was great.

Oh, good. This first one is a little different, but it's... The review is not the time when the person gets... This is of a film. It's a Letterboxd movie. Oh! The film is called Holy Shit. It's a...

My hand's in the VCR. Somebody help! It's a German film. It's actually called Ach du Scheiße. Oh, Jesus. I don't like that. That's very triggering. Sorry.

Here we go. Here's a... Our aunts say that when they're mad. Yeah. Ach du lieber. I'm, like, really overwhelmed by that. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. You're right. You know I had that intent. I need to make another they're mad. Yeah. Ach du lieber. I'm like really overwhelmed by that. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that.

You're right. You know I had that intent. I need to make another cup of tea. Yeah. Do you want me to do this first or? Yeah. Okay. This will make you feel better.

Here's the description for the film. An architect regains consciousness in a locked port-a-loo, known in German vernacular by the Dixie brand name, on a building site where a detonation is being prepared. Oh, no. As he desperately tries to find ways of escaping this prison before potentially being blown to smithereens, he realizes who has put him into this predicament. Now he has to do everything in his power to get out alive.

It has a 3.2, which I feel like isn't that bad for... Like an offbeat horror movie yeah is it a horror movie um i don't know if it's a horror like a thriller oh my god the do you know the english version what holy shit yeah what about it that's the name of the english yeah i said that at the beginning oh i didn't hear you holy shit and then i holy shit. And then I said it's actually a German movie. Do you know what I literally thought? What? That you were saying, oh, it's holy shit.

Oh, no, sorry. It's actually a German movie. Oh, I see. I thought you realized in the moment it was a German movie. I'm now understanding. I don't know what kind of movie it is. It says a comedy slash thriller. Thank you. Comedy thriller.

And here's a review. This is a two and a half star review. I'll say a negative. On Letterboxd, they're so picky with their five stars that two and a half isn't that bad. I guess.

It's out of five? Out of five. Yeah, here we go. Literally 127 hours but in shit. No, no! And I gotta say, that movie was no comedy. Okay, that 127 hours. I never watched it. Oh, I'm still perturbed by that film.

I watched it. My college had a fun movie night with friends, and that's what they showed, and we all left feeling not great. That's not a fun movie anyone's like everyone's like you want to come hang out my dorm and i'm like no i kind of just want to like call my mom stare at my hand in appreciation kind of upset yeah yeah i want to go like tell my hand how much i care for okay okay this got weird i'm sorry i made it too weird um um so the guy is stuck in the porta potty got it okay and that's it i love it so thank you nina for that um next i've got a review this is not a human

being stuck but uh this is a review of cat in a tree rescue in um looks like yeah boulder colorado and don't worry because it is a five-star review. Good, because I remember I will never forget what you did to me that one day. With the porch. Oxenar, I think about that. You brought it up just now. Because I think about it every month. Okay, you're fine.

I'm not, but I guess let's move on. Yeah, you know what, Ox Let's say you're right. Let me just make another cup of tea real quick, and then I'll be just totally right as rain. Okay? Great. Go ahead. How long does it take for that Klonopin to kick in? You know...

Should be any moment, right? Where's the one I lost underneath the carpeting? Because I... Under the carpeting? What were you doing down there? I don't know. Looking for grubs or something?

Anyway, five stars. Cat in a Tree Rescue. It's a good one. Okay. My wife called this guy because our cat got stuck on our roof. Fifteen minutes is all it took to scale our building like Spider-Man and get dexter down coincidence his name is peter i don't know friendly professional and quick this guy is

awesome end of review that's so cute i actually love that yeah uh there's uh i just loved looking through these because they're so positive. And like, the only negative review was someone in the Bay Area who apparently reviewed before the guy had changed his location to Boulder. Because like apparently he used to be in California and was like, called Peter and had a very nice chat, but it turns out he's not in my area. So three stars. Oh, boo. I know, but the rest were all five star reviews. And it was like, called Peter and had a very nice chat. But turns out he's not in my area. So three stars.

Oh, boo. I know. But the rest were all five star reviews. And it was like so cute. Like, oh, he helped Murray. He helped my kitty Henry. Like all these cats. Dexter, Henry, Murray. Will you get your shit together?

It's kind of funny. I know Dexter is up there. Dexter, Henry, and Murray are like some of the cats. It sounds like, speaking of Murray, it sounds like a Bill Murray comedy of errors happening. That's so true. Just like cats flying up trees. Cat removal. Yeah.

Wow. Yeah. Oh, that coffee smells good. Can you pass me the sugar when you're finished? Whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you doing? That's salt, not sugar. Let's get you another coffee. Feeling distracted?

You're not alone. Many Canadians are finding it hard to focus with mortgage payments on their minds. If you're struggling with your payments, speak to your bank. The earlier they understand your situation, the more options and relief measures could be available to you.

Learn more at Canada.ca slash ItPaysTo to know. A message from the Government of Canada. Whoa, what are you listening to this for? Wait, who's talking? You know you're driving a 2024 Ford Escape with available Alexa built in, so you can change the music. Oh yeah, Alexa, change station to 99.2. See? Purchase a 2024 Escape ST-Line all-wheel drive with Tech Pack at 3.49% APR for 72 months with down payment. That's just $267 bi-weekly. Cash value of $40,294. Plus, eligible Ford owners get a $1,000 bonus. For details, visit your local Ford store or Ford.ca. So, here is my next one. this is a one-star review this is of a burger king

in camp hill pennsylvania this can't be good it's a one-star review i spent over 30 minutes this evening trapped in their drive-thru line oh no way to escape with cars in front of me and cars behind me and a giant curve to one side and the building to another. Thank God I did not have to urinate. After 30 minutes of waiting, I received my order. Urinate? Oh my God. It's when you empty yourself.

I don't do that. So I don't empty yourself. No, I forget that people have to do that. Oh, weird. I'm kind of like a newer model. You might want to see someone about that. Yeah. Well, get in line.

What? No, I urinate. So I don't need to get in line. Earlier I said I would poop my pants instead of faint. So I don't know who I'm kidding. True, true. No, I, yeah, I'm terrified. I thought you said, I couldn't understand you.

Urinate. Got it. Yeah. After 30 minutes of waiting, I received my order only to find that the fries were cold. Well, yeah. Perhaps they have been sitting for the 30 minutes while I waited to get to the window. That's all I could think, but I asked, what gives? And the super sweet lady behind the register, saying sarcastically, yelled at me.

She said that there were only three people there, and if I didn't like it, I could get an application and apply for the job and make my own fries. And I was thinking, well, shucks. Why would anyone ever want to work with a person like you? Oh, and they forgot the napkins too. Thankfully, last week I had been to a Taco Bell and they kindly gave me 300 packets of mild taco sauce and at least 50 napkins. Thinking ahead, I stashed those in my napkin slash Taco Bell package drawer in the minivan, and my evening was saved. End of review. Oh, no.

And then the drive-thru lady was about to hand over my napkins and hot sauce and saw my gigantic money bag style bags of hundreds and hundreds of Diablo sauces and thought, actually, you don't get this. You're cut off. You have enough. money bag style bags of hundreds and hundreds of Diablo sauces and thought, actually, you don't get this. You're cut off. You have enough. You have enough. True, though. I mean.

That's plenty. Wow. Aw, shucks. Aw, shucks. I should work here. Who would want to work with you? That was, like, honestly, a very good line. But also, this person was probably being a total dick about this. Because, yeah, like, granted, it took a while. But but there's a reason you don't have to get in this line i mean even just

to say fucking the super sweet person not i'm like okay come on i know it's just like you're the one who's i don't know you're the one who's urinating all over your hot sauce packets. So true. Everyone's saying it. All of my final ones now come from Gregory. Oh, Lord. Yeah. So Gregory, who mentions that, says, my sister Leanne, or is it Lean? I don't know. Lean!

Who got me into Beach Juice Andy and sent me a Beach Juice Andy cup for my birthday. Cute. Is thrilled that I'm annoying you and Christine now since I did that to her for our entire childhood. Oh, so basically like the baton has been passed. Yeah, and he said, her words, not mine. Okay, excellent. Finally.

So she is taking delight in your misery. I'm taking the mantle. You know what? I get it. It's fine. I don't blame you for one second. Now time for a review. This is of Diamond Plate Bar and Grill in Roseville, California.

Ooh la la. One star. Randomly got jumped by four dudes who locked me in the bathroom and I had to fight my way out. Been coming to this bar for four years and the people working did nothing about it. This bar has gone downhill fast. End of review. Yeah, you might say. I love how people will use that phrase

for something like, they didn't have salt shakers on the table. This place is going downhill fast. What's happening to America? I got jumped by four guys and locked in a bathroom. This place is going downhill fast. And you know what? Now that I think about it, it was for no reason. I'm like, well, yeah, I would hope if you're

mugged or jumped and shoved into it, like physically assaulted out of nowhere. I'd like to think if you deserved it, you'd have some level of self-awareness. But yeah, so yeah. I was worried about someone getting trapped in the bathroom. So you delivered. Oh, good. Because here's another one. This is of Brahms Ice Cream and Dairy in Fort Worth, Texas.

One star. Stopped in for some ice cream and needed to use the restroom. I ended up trapped in the bathroom because of the faulty lock. After 30 minutes of trying to get out, I was finally able to get out and came face to face with an angry worker who was mad that their lock failed and locked me in. No apologies or anything we'll never go back there oh no the employee wasn't even nice about it yeah that would be i would be so upset what are you doing getting locked in our bathroom i feel like they'd be like what did you do to our lock our perfect lock what have you done to it it was working fine

before you got here you must have messed it up so true um it's probably that person's fault you're right i think so um this next one is one that was actually sent to you for your challenge oh do i read it or it says uh i will send it to her too and you can fight over who gets to read it or read it twice up to you you can have it you want me to read it now yeah i didn't read it yet, so it's going to be a nice surprise for all of us. Excellent. This is a four-star review of Woodbridge Pub in Detroit.

Here we go. Four stars. The goal of our evening was for him to take me to as many places I haven't been in one night. He did a fantastic job at making the best of the night despite the bitter cold temperatures. Woodbridge was on his list, so he stopped in for a beer. He got a PBR and I chose

a dirty blonde. Can't go wrong with either. I enjoyed the atmosphere. It was warm and inviting. There was a lot to see. Until, of course, I got locked in the bathroom i mean leave it to me but clearly this happens all the time i don't typically bring my phone in with me but thankfully this time i grabbed it because first of all that's your that's your main mistake like always bring your phone with you big mistake yeah i always i don't always if we're playing trivia i leave it in case of team needs it for because we answer on our mobile to To Google the answer. No. Our trivia place, you answer on the phone browser.

So I leave my phone behind in case I don't get back in time. That's a very specific incident. Very specific. Other than that, I always have my phone. You never know. You never know. I had to call my date to help me. The bartender came and got me out. So embarrassing. Ha. But there is call my date to help me. The bartender came and got me out.

So embarrassing. Ha. But there's always something fun to laugh about. We looked over the menu, but nothing really piqued our interest, so we chose to move on. I, for one, won't ever forget this place. Ha ha. End of review. Okay.

This I love. Because it's like, you know what? What an attitude to have. I love when you're able to just laugh about something that you that you had a right to be upset about like i'm not gonna say oh you shouldn't be distraught that you're trapped in a bathroom i mean i imagine most of us would be stressed out about that um some more than others as far as like which is valid anxieties etc but it's so cool to see somebody be like you know what it wasn't great i was embarrassed but like i laughed it off that's just really comforting and um not to bring up my therapy again but today

in therapy but to immediately bring up my therapy again um we talked wait what that's okay we did a little bit kind of like a it was like a hypno regression but basically what he did was he walked me through these events that had been like really traumatizing and he's like let's see if we can just kind of laugh about like how silly grown-ups can be and I was like you know in thinking of it through the eyes of a child and so it was like just like laugh about like man these adults are getting so mad about something so silly like and I'm like wow that really just shifted everything because it was like, oh, like we can just be like, whoa, that was their stuff. And sometimes they make crazy faces and raise their voices and it doesn't make sense to me anyway.

I better go color. Point being, I love that attitude of like, it happened. I think it's healthier. Yeah. Like it's in the past. It happened. Taking it on yourself. Like let's just not

mull over it and just like sludge through it every time you know i don't know i just think that's cool so i'm very proud of her good job to whoever got out of the closet or the bathroom good job to those people too what got out of the closet huh you said good job to whoever that was getting out of the closet uh-huh and i said said good job to whoever that was getting out of the closet. Uh-huh. And I said, yes, good job to all the people getting out of the closet. Oh, getting out of the closet. Well, you're a little late. It's July, right, when this comes out? Yeah, this comes out July 6th.

Sorry, you got to wait until next year. You got to. You got to. That's how it works. You got to do that. And that was a good one, though, for your challenge, because it was a positive review talking about how people get constantly locked in the bathroom. Oh, I thought she meant that was the first time that she's always getting stuck in the bathroom.

No, she said like, haha, like happens to me. Like, of course it would happen to me. But also said this must happen all the time or something. I think they meant like there. Understood. Understood. It says, I mean, leave it to me. And said, but clearly this happens all the time.

So I assume. I thought she meant like, you know, me and my guy and all our fun antics. I think it was both. Yeah. Gotcha. Which is fun. But yeah, fair. You know, I wouldn't necessarily want to go in that bathroom despite the positive review.

I would. And the positive attitude. Probably not want to enter that bathroom either see there you go uh i have uh one more great this is a review of comfort inn and suites in fairfax virginia also from gregory now what does he want also he said notice the reviewer is a local, which sends chills down the spine of hotel workers. Oh, God. Someone reviewing a Fairfax, Virginia hotel who is from Fairfax, Virginia. Why? I don't know.

I mean, I guess if you're there for like an event or something. This person's there with their family, as you'll see by the first sentence. But I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Here's a one-star review. This place is horrible. My family got trapped in the elevator. We were ringing the alarm,

and no one came when it opened back on the pool floor. There are no emergency exits out. We had to walk out in the freezing cold because the lifeguard said that was the only way out. End of review. Oh my god! Get out. Welcome to hell, aka the pool.

Get the hell out. Imagine you're stuck and then like finally the doors creak open. Yeah, and there's a lifeguard like, what are you doing here? Yeah, what do you want? This is October, it was written October 29th in Virginia, So it's probably nice and brisk. I mean, okay. Getting stuck in an elevator is very scary. Yeah.

No, God, no. I'd be afraid. Yeah. Because you never know. Like, what if it just falls? Like, what if, especially if you're on a higher floor? I heard a terrible story. I don't want to hear it.

Okay. I shouldn't say it. No, probably not. No, it's not the right place for that. People literally listen to this as like a calming technique, which to be fair, I don't understand. Yeah, because sometimes I'm like, we say some crazy shit. Talk about God far too often. And we are constantly putting our own anxieties into our own show.

Yeah, I mean, we're talking about fucking late stage capitalism nonstop. There's a lot going on today. But I guess I'll spare you. Thrift stores and getting trapped places. What a combo this was but i guess um i'll spare you the traumatic tale i i heard that appreciate it lives with the cat story i appreciate the cat under the porch i think i appreciate you um giving me the respect i never gave you that's alexander it means so much to hear you say it means so much to hear you say that not for me but for you for me it is proud of you thank you um hey I picked a five-star cat stuck in a

tree review so I'm maybe improving I think you kind of righted you're wrong so I don't think I've done anything like that one again you haven't I trust me I would have told I would have I would have included it in this entire mishmash we Yeah, yeah. We're all learning here, folks. Yeah. And yeah, that's about it. But this is coming out a couple days or a day before. I think a couple days before our New York show. A few days before our Boston show. Oh, man.

You guys, New York tickets have been going. But there's still some left. There's some left. We're trying to really push New York. Apparently, New York is one of the hardest markets to sell. We've experienced this with MS-Roy Drink. It's just there's so much to do that, like, it's hard to kind of fight through the noise of, like, just a regular night in New York City. And it's a Thursday night show, which is awkward.

And it's also, like, the week of July 4th, I think. It's a holiday weekend. It's a holiday week. People are traveling. Well, July 4th was, like, a few days before it. Oh, it's right after. It's, like, a day before this episode comes out. So July 4th is a few days before it. Oh, it's right after. It's a day before this episode comes out. So July 4th is a Tuesday.

Got it. And then our show's on Thursday. So people are probably coming back to work. I don't know. Or our show's Thursday or Friday. I don't know. Thursday. Anyway, I'm sorry.

I'm blabbing. So if you are in New York, in the Boston area, and then a couple weeks we have Philly and DC. We'd love to see you because our other shows have been so incredible. Like beyond our expectations. People are making bracelets like they have been for Taylor Swift shows and stuff. So people have been making issues and bracelets. People have been comparing us to Taylor Swift at our shows.

Similar venue. Yeah. I would say. We were just in Tempe. We opened our show at the glendale at the stadium where the cardinals play yeah we don't remember the name but we had like a couple 150 people yeah yeah yeah in that stadium it was really awkward because they couldn't hear us but that's okay it's okay um anyway i did a cartwheel though it was incredible i didn't actually do it but i tried to do it. We could have pretended.

Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. See you all in New York tomorrow and in Boston. See you at Fenway. At Fenway. That's where Billy Joel performs. But no, we're actually-

Or no, Bruce Springsteen. But our New York show's at City Winery, which I'm really excited for. That's going to be- That's such a cool place to be. Oh, folks, City Winery, they're- they, wait, I hope they're doing this. I don't know. Well, when I went a couple years ago, this was like five years ago, they made, and that's why we drink like wine labels for the bottles.

Maybe we didn't, we're not selling enough tickets. We'll see. I know. And we do, maybe. Maybe buy your tickets. Maybe that'll be an option because I was so excited. Boston's at Arts at the Armory, like such a cool venue. Oh my God.

Those tickets are selling pretty well. So get on those if you haven't yet. I gotta tell you, I'm so excited. Boston's at Arts at the Armory, like such a cool venue. Oh my God. Those tickets are selling pretty well. So get on those if you haven't yet. I gotta tell you, I'm extremely excited. Tell your New York friends, tell your Boston friends, tell your Philly friends, tell your DC friends. We are so excited to see them and excited to see you all who can make it. And insult your towns. We can't wait.

It's gonna be a blast. All right. Thanks, y'all. Okay, bye. Bye. Beach Too Sandy, Water Too wet is a forever dog production hosted and produced by zandy and christine sheathard it's edited by marco padilla cover art by courtney aventura theme music by mavis white executive produced by mariah nicholas

forever dog productions is joe cilio alex ramsey and brett boehm