Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 250: Reviews of Children’s Museums

Episode Date: September 13, 2023

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This NBA season, make every three-pointer alley-oop and buzzer beater even more exciting with FanDuel. Download the app today to see why we're North America's number one sportsbook. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Welcome to Beach to Sandy, Water Too Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. Hello everyone, welcome to Beachy Sandy Water 2 at the podcast where we read the worst reviews in the most dramatic fashion. My name is Xteen.

And I'm Xandy. We're coming to you again live. We didn't think we'd have an announcement this soon. Like, we thought we wouldn't get new shows by the end of the year, but look at us go! We're coming to two new cities this November.

Draw more, please. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Come on down. And Nashville, Tennessee. They better be running. Yeehaw. Honky tonk. RIP to To whom?

To Bob Barker. I hope they're Oh, fuck. True. Both cities are running down. Jesus. Screaming. Yeah.

Excited for their opportunity. Yes. To spend time with us. I can already feel the excitement We'll be in Pittsburgh November 8th And Nashville November 9th Both are city winery locations Oh we love that place So today is Wednesday as this comes out

And we're doing a pre-sale today For Patreon And then on Friday The as this comes out and they are doing, we're doing a presale today for Patreon. And then on Friday, the week this comes out, what date is that? September? You know, September 15th. It will be general on sale. So you can buy your tickets at beach2sandy.com. We did Pittsburgh and Nashville because we were looking for places, A, that had availability

that helps and B, that were close enough to be able to drive or access more easily than like – I was going to say, I don't think we're driving to Pittsburgh and then Nashville. It's four hours. Okay. That's the – But what I'm saying is we wanted like more localized places that were not cross-country. It feels like a quick trip. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Not cross-country trips. So anyway, that's what we have to announce. We're very excited about it. And we hope to see you there. Yeah, we're so pumped. These will probably be the last shows, I mean, I'm assuming, of the year. I would be very surprised. I'm already surprised by these shows.

But I'm even more surprised if there were more. So yeah, so hopefully see you all there. Pittsburgh and Nashville in November. That'll be fun. Yeah, can't wait so uh we now have to record an episode on children's museums yes uh i who came up with this i don't i don't want to call them out whose fault is this no no no i only say that because i struggled i the reviews that i read first of all one of the funny parts of it was every single children's museum review referenced another children's museum. Like not every review,

sorry. Every set of reviews had at least one review mentioning another. Like to compare? Yeah. But always in a completely different area. So like I was reading reviews of like a Nashville one and it was talking about one in Columbus or Cleveland. And I'm like, what the fuck? And then you'd be reading one in, in Florida. And it's talking about one in Evansville, Indiana. I was so confused. And I was like, where are we? Like, why, why, what am I reading? And then most of them were only about COVID precautions and children being children. That sounds so boring. And also children in not great places for themselves. You know, it was like just not, yeah.

So it was either boring, frustrating, or just sad. So anyway, now we're time to start our comedy show. But I didn't pick those. Okay, good. So don't worry, everybody. I'll pick those for our live show. Yeah, we'll save those good ones about COVID precautions for our live shows. Oh no.

Do you want to go first? Sure. Okay. This one here, this is from Elta. This is a one-star review of the Minnesota children's museum. When the coin donation funnel is the most exciting part of your visit, you just know you overpaid.

Okay. But that's the most exciting part of any visit to just know you overpaid okay but that's the most exciting part of any what i was any visit to anywhere i was like man i have the most memories from these places of doing that coin funnel because it's so fun but the other thing is all the coin activities are fun because there's that and there's flattened pennies which are really fun oh well actually no one time at the children's museum this actually is gonna sad. I saw a little boy swallow a quarter. I mean, I assume he's okay. I don't. Why is that so sad?

Because I don't think, I don't know if he was okay. Are you serious? I'm dead serious. You weren't there. You were there. But you were too little. Dad rushed you away. And I just stood there.

And then they had to call these EMTs. I think the kid was fine. Okay, the kid was fine, but it was... Have you gone through your whole life thinking this kid died swallowing a quarter? Yeah, he couldn't breathe. Shit. It was very scary.

I've seen multiple people die in front of me, so I'm hoping that's not one of them. Swallowing a single coin is unlikely to result in death. I know, but they were genuinely trying to do the... He could not breathe. It was very, very scary. Yeah, yeah. No, okay. So yeah no okay so he was choking he was choking thanks for that okay so anyway coins aren't always fun jesus christ now you just gave me look at this everyone did you notice what happened here no the way that she put me down oh we're about to do our comedy show and you're

talking about uh all this stuff at least mine's interesting it's interesting to you boring you were like oh it was hard to find them yeah i'm like hey i once saw somebody almost die in front of my you basically said you saw a child die i did so you did not though i thought i did i was a child anyway this is this is peak comedy. Here we go. Go on about the coin. I love coin donation funnels. Those are fun. What? Do you have another story? Funnel.

Give me that. Give me that THC soda right now. You're cut off. It only has two. I haven't even had any yet. It's your 12th one today. No, it's not. There's a whole 12 pack.

That would be really, really funny though. I'm just kidding. That would be really funny. Okay. Went here for the nationally rated museum and was thoroughly disappointed when we paid $30. After checking in, we were given tickets for the Thomas exhibit. And I was honestly thinking, this will be really cool. Maybe a 3D movie,

an amusement type interactive experience for the kids, something memorable. As we exited the elevator, we were greeted by a creepy scraggly boy who had a big puppet on his hand to quote, eat the tickets. What? And then security said, we told you, John, to get out of here.

You can't keep loitering. Yes. Yes, that's exactly what happened. But no, this is what happened. I'm scared. This is to get into the exhibit. Dear Lord. We were greeted by a creepy, scraggly boy who had a pig puppet on his hand to eat the tickets.

After flashbacks of working with sex offenders at the state prison and instinctively extricating my two-year-old son from that situation, we arrived at a room with the great Thomas exhibit. Just to clarify, is this Thomas the tank? Yes. It becomes clear later, which is why I didn't say anything yet. But at first I was like, who's Thomas? Is it that man with the pig puppet? It's his exhibit i would pay for that exhibit i'm just like wow you like this kid i assume it's not this scraggly boy's idea i don't know maybe

it is it's just it seems like a goofy cute thing whatever a little pig puppet eating the tickets i love that idea i do too i mean i'll immediately go into comparing it to your experience working with sex offenders yikes it just seems like such a jump unless you really have some like very specific triggers like pig puppets you know like exactly that's true if that were the thing i get it but like i don't i don't make to say you extricated your two-year-old friend, like, chill. This isn't like fucking Warzone. I don't know.

It's a scraggly boy with a big puppet. You're taking your tickets. Sounds like a Warzone movie. Sorry. I nearly crapped my pants when it was no more than a Thomas statue you could take pictures with, a table with wooden trains, and another train statue that you could replace the wheels on.

Which, judging by the rest of the museum, I don't actually know if it was part of the exhibit or just broken. Oh, and I can't forget all the toy trains they had behind plexiglass, just as a cruel trick on the kids or something. My boy pawed at these several times before I had to reluctantly let him know that he could not play with those cool trains. Sorry, picturing them being like, oh yeah, those really cool ones. Yeah, the cool ones you can't play with. Just the cool ones.

I bet you. Just really going into just making the kid feel shitty. I bet you the scraggly boy gets to play with those. He and his pig puppet. The scraggly boy probably owns them, so hands off. Hands off.

When the pool at the hotel sounds like a better time than the museum you just visited, I believe that means epic fail. Thumbs down or something.

End of review. Thumbs down or something? Okay, to be honest, it says, it says, thumbs down. That's why I paused because I was like,

what do I say here? Thumbs down on and then TH something as one word. Like something but with TH at the beginning. Okay. Thumbs down on the something. Okay. So I just said thumbs down or something. Okay.

That was definitely worth the explanation. Yeah. I didn't think you could question it. You could have just said, yeah, that's what it says. I don't want to lie to you people. But you also know I'm not good at lying to you. So like, I would have been like, yep, that's what it says. And you're like, no, what does it actually say?

Show me, show me right now. Okay, it says on the something. Does that make you feel better? No. You win, congrats. I regret asking. I did have a problem once with a- Once?

I knew you were going to say that. At a children's museum with Leona, they had- Once? All these giant plexiglass tubes and stuff, but they were filled with Legos and toy dinosaurs as a decor thing. And she kept being like, dinosaur. And I was like, I'm sorry you don't get- Sorry, kid. to play with the toy

and they weren't even like collector items or anything they were just like and i get the idea it was like cool to look at but then all the kids stood there and were like i want that yeah or there were blocks in one there were toy dinos in the other one i'm like all the all the parents were like why would they do this oh my gosh i that's so that was i feel like such a theme because i saw ones that were talking about a slime exhibit at one museum and the slime exhibit was literally just a tunnel and like the floor was like green like that it wasn't anything interactive you can't even yeah that's the thing is like you have to appease when thing, is, like, you have to appease, when it comes to children's music,

you have to appease the children and you have to appease their parents. That's a tough job. And, like, I can't, yeah, it sounds terrible. Like, if I had any business, I would make it a business that does not allow children. Yeah. Not because I'm, like, anti-kids. I don't want any myself for reasons, but, like, I don't know. Kids are, I was a kid once but

it sounds like such a pain in the ass to deal with like kids and parents and their expectations what if you're like i don't want but also some of these museums just fucking sucked it sounded like what if you were like i don't want kids for this specific reason i mean reading all these reviews these museums are not i mean sorry the reviews didn't make me want kids many anymore alexander and i were at the mall yesterday and we uh first of all we found a squishable store oh shit there's a fucking squishable store we lost our damn mortar fucking squishable store of course we went in we got um we got like these little um what you would call a mystery packs that we're gonna record afterward first for the socials. Yeah, follow us on social media at Beach Juice Sandy, TikTok, Instagram.

Threads? Threads, that's it. That's the one that I wanted to say. X. Go to x.com. No, don't do that. For more Kenwood mall content so we went to the mall and um i saw the uh build a bear and i said to xandy you know that will be your job in a few years right like i will give

you the money but you will need to be taking her there because that just seems like saying i don't like that you like you do it and you agreed agreed. No, no, no. Stuff like that. Like certain, especially like I can go during a weekday. But so many of these reviews were people going on free days, which is a great thing that these museums have free days. But sometimes it's just unreasonable with the number of people wanting to go and the number of staff that they have and the line. Like so many stories of children waiting outside in the cold and rain. I'm like, yikes. Yikes.

I like how Alexander's thought is like, well, I don't want to be standing out in the cold and rain. No, I mean, if Leona show up and I show up and the Build-A-Bear line's out the door and it's a beautiful 68 degrees, I'd be like, we're going home. Fuck this. We're going home to sit inside and watch TV. Yeah. Okay. I'm not waiting in line for a Build-A-Bear.

Dino Ranch it is. That's why I'd go to the one in Cincinnati where there's no one in there. It's great. That's why you'll be like, no, we'll go to this special Build-A-Bear and it'll be the squishable store. Yeah, that's true. You get to build one. I'll be like, instead of just one Build-A-Bear, you get two of these. And then I pocket the extra money because they're not as expensive.

I think that sounds good. Okay, so the first one I have, the first one I'd like to point out, is from. Well, yes, we know. You haven't had one, have you? I just feel like we've been talking for 45 minutes. True. But yes, my first one is from Emma. Like 14.05, but whatever.

That's a long time for me to not get to a review yet. This is of the Discovery Center in Rockford, Illinois. Emma apparently used to go here with her Girl Scout troop, both for day visits and sleepovers. Oh, nice. Did you ever sleep over in a museum? No, just at the zoo, Cincinnati Zoo. Yeah, me too.

I don't think I slept over at a museum. I don't think I did either. Did we do that at the museum center? I'm sure they had. We might have. No, we did not. I remember we did something, and they had those giant, colorful buckets, like giant buckets on wheels that they put our lunches in and stuff.

Oh, my God. And our, like, coats. on wheels that they put our lunches in and stuff. Oh, my God. And our, like, coats. That was a trash can. I mean, it's probably, they probably use them as trash cans sometimes. But, like, yeah, they have, and I remember I was all going there, my class, but I don't, I must, might not have been an overnight. That's a good story, too. Here's a review of the Discovery Center in Rockford, Illinois.

One star. I would have given this place a five-star review until I realized my money was going to support someone's campaign for office. What? Okay, here's the photo. What? Here's the accompanying photo. Okay? Okay.

Can you read it? Jim Gill. Vote for Jim Gill. Vote for Jim Gill. Okay, here's the response. Is that? From the Discovery Center. Where did they find that?

Okay, I'm excited for the response. At the museum. Here's the response. I know, but it looks like it's hidden in a closet. Well, yeah, they're doing night at the museum, by the way. Oh, so they're just wandering around at night. That's somebody's office. Somebody's office.

No, this is a response from the Discovery Center Museum owner. Dan, the sign you photographed is not a political sign at all. It is a promotional sign for a children's singer-songwriter named Jim Gill. He did a children's tour around two years ago, and the name of the tour was Vote for Jim Gill. He grew up in Rockford and has returned many times over the years to perform interactive play concerts for children and families if you have young children you should google him and listen to his songs they are silly and fun and kids love him we can understand how at first glimpse the sign seems to promote a political candidate we hope you will visit again and consider amending your review i like how he's

like how dare i fund Jim Gill's campaign? In my head, I was like, okay, they know who this politician is and they're upset that there's like promotion. Yeah, if you didn't recognize that. That's so stupid. And again, like Alexander said, this is literally like in the back of someone's office

behind some cardboard boxes. It's not like it's on display. And it's the most generic. It's like red, white, blue. Vote for Jim Gill. Jesus. I mean, to be fair, boxes it's not like it's on display and it's the most generic it's like red white blue vote for jim gill uh jesus i mean to be fair it doesn't look like the most engaging child's tour like no that is children's tour sign like i would assume also this is someone running for like i don't know city council uh well maybe he was trying to do both. Maybe. Maybe.

I'd vote for Jim Gill. I kind of want to vote for Jim Gill. Look at this guy. Look at this dude. Look at this banjo. Oh. You're not a banjo fan? It's the banjo. I could see the banjo with this sign.

It matches. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, here's an album. Jim Gill sings the Sneezing Song and Other Contagious Tunes. This came out in 2021. No didn't oh my god i was like holy shit it's from 93 that one's from 1993 that's a 4.7 out of 5 on amazon with 141 reviews vote for jim gill vote for jim gill don't tell me anything else about jim gill people i don't need to know it i'm voting okay. Okay, one star. This

next one. Oh my God, you've never voted before, so now you're voting? Wow, it finally took Jim Gill to get you into... I'm moving to Rockford, Illinois to vote for Jim Gill, a local city council election. And you have to write him in, which is the funniest part. He'd be like, my name is James and also I did not actually ask for this. Oh, man. Okay.

So this next one was sent in by Matt. He him. And Matt sent in a review of Marvin's Marvelous Mechanical Museum. I know. So it's in Farmington Hills, Michigan. And it's called a snug space full of coin operated fun from modern arcade games to retro fortune tellers so it has that like Romani like fortune teller machine in there you got like some really creepy shit like there's a giant Humpty Dumpty like looking thing um and then like

pinball arcade games like all sorts like those pushy things that push the coins down you win so fun it just looks like it has so many different games so did you know i had that pushy coin game on my ipod touch oh my god i remember it yeah of course i this is like a serious serious thing okay okay no not on this episode not that serious uh i would sit in my dorm room in college. Oh, you shouldn't have said in college. I did not know that. I'm serious. And I would play that game.

I'm not joking, for hours. Like, sometimes I would be up to, like, 4 a.m. playing that fucking game. Yeah. And this is before I discovered podcast. Like, I was probably listening to music, maybe. I'd hope you're doing, just, you're silent. Something, right? Like, it's so dark, literally and physically. Heavy breathing from your roommates, and you're just sitting there, like, tap,, right? Like it's so dark literally and physically.

Heavy breathing from your roommates and you're just sitting there like tap, tap, tap. She's asleep. Allison's sleeping. I'm over here like. There's a very dull light on your face. Cling, cling. And there's like those flashing lights. It's like a casino.

And your eyes light up once every like five minutes. And it keeps me going. Yeah. The endorphin rush like every few minutes or the dopamine. Yeah, you watch the happiness drain from your face as you don't win anything. Do you know the biggest guilt I had about all that? No, why would I? That that iPod Touch from Costco was so expensive and that is all I did on it.

I'm not kidding. I barely listen to music on it. I only played that damn game and I never told anyone because I've been so ashamed. I did everything on that thing. Oh, my eye touch. Good times. I should have played that game. It does sound fun.

I'd play that now. It is fun. I'm playing a game. It's not really a game you really play. It's called Cookie Clicker. And you just click a cookie and eventually you get buildings that generate cookies for you because the cookies are both the currency and I don't know. It's very confusing. And I just let it sit on my computer all day.

It's really terrible. What? What do you mean you let it sit? It just sits there because it's the thing that I'm generating cookies. So I have trillions of cookies. But you don't have to do anything? No, because at the start you have to click to literally click this cookie that's sitting there. This is insane.

And then you get your own clickers. You can get little cursors. But then you get grandmas, and you get cookie mines, and you build buildings that generate cookies. It sounds like elderly abuse. You're making the grandmas go into the mines. Yeah, I have 150 of them, and they have different ages and names. It's a whole thing. I feel suddenly it's the weirdest thing.

So much better about my – Yeah, you know, that's what I'm trying to say. Oh, Coindoser. That's what it was called. Coindoser. It was called Coindoser. Yeah, I bet it's still on my iCloud or whatever. Oh, man.

Okay, sorry. One-star review of Marvin's Marvelous Mechanical Coindoser. Here we go. A warning to all Christians and Catholics. Here we go. A warning to all Christians and Catholics. Which I think is hilarious that it's like Christians and Catholics. I know, I love when we're not grouped in. I find that amazing.

A warning to all Christians and Catholics. There is a pink machine called Auto-Wed that has a sacrilegious picture of Marvin Yagoda, the deceased founder of this place, photoshopped over the face of Jesus Christ, the risen savior and long-awaited Messiah. Oh, that Jesus Christ. Sorry, I couldn't remember who we were talking about. Sounded so familiar. He was like, Marvin gets an intro. I guess I gotta intro the other dude I'm talking about. Yeah, I'm like, thank you for putting them, giving

them both an introduction. Do not support a place that has such blatant disrespect towards the faith of certain previous customers. I will consider returning after an apology is made by the current owner. And if the photo is removed, end of review. The guy is dead and they're still like, they want to, now apology from. And I believe his son is running. I looked into Marvin Yagoda. I just like was curious. so I read a little bit.

Not much. Yeah, and I believe his son is now running. His son's like, but to me, my dad was my hero. And they're like, get that sacrilegious image off. And this was not the only person complaining about that. Are you serious? I am very serious. Oh, come on.

No, it is so wild to me. That is bizarre. It's so weird. I don't complaining about that. Are you serious? I am very serious. Oh, come on. No, it is so wild to me. That is bizarre. It's so weird. I don't understand. Okay. Here's a review. This is also from Emma. It's of the Discovery Center in Rockford, Illinois.

This one is a two-star review, and it also has a response from owner. Too expensive. Not for adults. You have to pay $16 just to look at dinosaur bones. $8 to even enter the gift shop. First time there and last. Looked run down. Disappointing.

End of review. Can I say something? Sure, absolutely. First of all, dinosaur bones are always worth paying to see. Priceless. That's fucking awesome. Second of all, I'm highly doubting that you have to pay $8 to enter the gift store. That was my favorite. I was like, whoa. I was like, there's no, if that's true,

yikes. I would pay to get. Hey, pay me to buy things. Gift shop is my favorite part of any, besides the coin games, gift shop is best part. It's kind of, it's not the same at all, but it's like when I would be in, back in the day, I haven it's like when i would be in back in the day i haven't done this in a while but like in raffles to win the opportunity to purchase shoes oh right right and it's like oh you don't get them for free no no you're just like winning the opportunity to spend money but you don't pay for those i didn't pay any money but you enter it feels like that where you're like it's like the lottery for T-Swift tickets or something.

Yeah, yeah, true, true. You don't even get, you have to like. You have the opportunity to spend hundreds of dollars. You have to be special enough to spend the money. Yes, exactly.

And here it's like, okay, we'll let you spend money here, but you have to pay us entry first. Yes, yes, yes. Which actually, listen. I like it. You like it? Yeah.

Okay, capitalist. No, no, I don't. Little shit. Here's the response from Discovery Center museum owner. Thanks for visiting and commenting. Unfortunately, we do not house dinosaur bones. What were they looking at? I don't know.

That should not be what they say in the- But I also love that they're like, but we're not going to comment on the entry fee for the gift shop because that part might be true. I doubt it. I mean, maybe. Because maybe you can't go in there unless you pay entry, which I guess makes sense. My assumption. Oh, true.

But my assumption is this is not. They said you're probably thinking of another museum. Like, I don't think. And this is, I believe, outside of Chicago. So I'm sure there was some other museum that had dinosaur bones and i would hope it's not they just found some bones and we're in this museum and we're like wow look at these dinosaur bones they were digging through this it's a shame they're just sitting here on the floor of this this back closet but uh great that we got to see them vote for jim phil um i feel like they were

in those like big bins that your lunch was in, and they're actually just chicken bones from someone's chicken eggs. And they're like, look at all these dinosaur bones. Hey, birds, dinosaurs. Same difference. Same thing. Exactly the same thing is what I learned in science class. My next one is also from Matt. This is of the Ann Arbor

Hands-On Museum and Leslie Science and Nature Center. Okay. Here's a two-star review. Yeah, I'm 11, Hands-On Museum and Leslie Science and Nature Center. Here's a two-star review. Yeah, I'm 11, and my mom and little brother came here a while ago. We had fun, but when he went to the bathroom with mom, apparently there was a bunch of toys stuffed in the toilet.

I thought it sounded gross, so two stars. End of review. Mom and brother disagreed, but I wasn't super into it. I thought it was gross. I like how he said. I love it. I respect it. I like how he said, when my brother went in, he found it. Like, and this kid has such a strong opinion.

Like, he was like, I didn't even have to pee. I just heard about the state of this place. Yeah. I was like, nope, I'm out. I'm a future health inspector. Totally. In the making. Because that's like like that's actually pretty high on the list check the toilet for toys for stuffed animals oh no i didn't think of stuffed animals that's worse maybe it's like the way they do those big tubes of dinosaur toys they're like no no that's just for decor like you don't touch

that you know like oh i see behind the plexiglass, but then also in the toilet. So there's plexiglass in the toilet. No, no, but they're just in the toilet as like to aim for it. Ew. Could you imagine? That would be hilarious if they did like put some plexiglass toys or like somehow laid toys in the toilet that weren't affected by your um business but like your excrement when you empty yourself stop um but we're still there and like yeah something to look at that's a good idea it's a terrible that's a great idea i said it and i know it's a terrible

idea i mean it's like when urinals have like a little like fake decal of a fly to tell you where to aim at. You've told me about that. Yeah, but it's not the same. I want toys. So here is, is that, it's my turn, right? Yeah. This is from Shane. He, him. It's of the Pittsburgh Children's Museum. No way.

Shout out. Maybe we'll go. Maybe. One star. I won't. I won't go. Maybe you will. No, I won't.

I read reviews of the Pittsburgh Children's Museum. You did? I did not. I don't want. Maybe you will. No, I won't. I read reviews of the Pittsburgh Children's Museum. You did? I did not. I don't want to go. No, nothing again. I just felt that way about every single children's museum. At the end, I was like, I don't want to go to any of these. He just wants to go to Build-A-Bear.

True. One star. Those of you with small children may want to reconsider taking them to the Pittsburgh Children's Museum. We went for the first time today and a staff member was running and jumped over my 17-month-old. Baller. That's so stupid. That's impressive. I would love to see that. And jumped over my 17-month-old as if she were at a track meet and my toddler was a hurdle. Yeah, a little nerd on the ground. I'd jump over your toddler, too. Nerd hurdle! Nerd hurdle!

Nerd hurdle! My daughter could have easily been kicked in the head! I doubt we'll be returning anytime soon. Here's Suzanne's response. Suzanne of Children's Museum of Pittsburgh. We're sorry you had a disappointing visit. Please know that running and jumping over young children is not condoned behavior for staff. Oh, well, that makes me feel better.

We address this with the staff member immediately and will continue to stress safety and caution by all staff in relation to visitors. We appreciate your comment. This person literally hurdled. The museum is not even denying it. Like, they're saying, like, we. Yeah, I know. They basically admitted that it happened. Yeah, they're like, we addressed this already.

To hurdle yourself over a baby? Like, that's crazy. Also, 17 months old, like, they can probably. I couldn't see. They move quick at that time. Like, they're not just blobs on the ground. Like, they can. Imagine trying to run over Leona.

She would go, some which way. You could probably break your own ankle. That's probably more dangerous for the staff member than for the child. I don't know about that one, but yeah. Man. Wowee. I just wonder what prompted this behavior, running and then jumping over the child. I think it's impressive.

I wish I could see. Me too. I mean, obviously, they have some sort of proof of it. I want to see the video footage. My next one is of the World of Beatrix Potter attraction. Fuck yes. It's a specialty slash children's museum in Bonus on Windermere in england sometimes england i'm like

really england really what do you mean i'm like why do you have to sound so much better than us all no let me read the whole address no it's literally like it's like we know you're better than us stop rubbing it in wait wait this is i listen you have paddington you have peppa pig it says you have beatrix Potter. We get it. But listen, under the part where it says address, this is what it says. The old laundry crag brow, comma, bonus on, bonus? I don't, B-O-W-N-E-S-S. I'm sorry, English people.

Bonus. Bonus on Windermere. Stop it. LA-23-3B Windermere. Stop it. LA 23 3BX England. Stop it. Like, literally the address is the old laundry crag brow. I wonder if that's from the book. And bonus on Windermere.

Maybe. Doesn't it sound like it would be in the book? I could absolutely see that. It's just so funny. There's no... Old laundry crag brow. Like, what is going on that that's a place that the mail goes to? You know? I don't know.

But there's a place called the Old Laundry Theater on Crag Brow. I know. I found it. What is happening? I don't understand. I think it's funny. Okay. So, Beatrix Potter is a children's author um is a children's author was a children's author

peter rabbit who wrote um right yes so that's i think most well known is the tale of peter rabbit um but there are plenty of other characters in the world of beatrix potter here we go here's a one-star review. Appalling waste of money. Absolutely nothing about the interesting life of Beatrix Potter in the stupid little film. After that, a tightly confined walkthrough, meaningless displays of imitation Beatrix Potter characters. They should pay you to endure it. Oh my God. What do you mean imitation characters?

What do you think they're gonna get the the original peter rabbit basically how much do you think it costs to get the original peter rabbit to make an appearance okay yeah um and like then there's a response i'm not gonna read the whole thing but basically they're saying we think you watched the wrong movie because there's absolutely a movie about that and about the wrong movie, like At The Place? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, like they had different exhibits or something. Yeah, because apparently there's a whole thing about her life in a movie and about her fascinating life.

And they even talked about it. They said, she was single-mindedly determined and ambitious, overcoming professional rejection, academic humiliation, personal heartbreak to earn her fortune and a formidable reputation. So basically they're just like going off like, hey, we know how amazing she is. We fucking love her. Like, fuck you. We talk about her. Yeah. How dare you?

But they didn't say fuck you. Because they're English. They said, well, actually. Laundry on Windermere. Okay. So here's a review. Beautiful. This, thank you.

This is from Sarah, and it's a review of the Franklin Institute Science Museum in Philadelphia. Philly. Now, I actually had this literal review in my notes for Philly, but I never got to it. We didn't get to it at the live show. I should have done that, because I bet got to it. We didn't get to it at the live show. I should have done that because I bet there were some. Museum ones. I feel like I brought like 20 plus reviews. That's true.

And Philly has a lot of reviews. Less than 15. So here is a review by Michael. Elite 2023 one month ago. No, 11 months ago. That would be wild if it was written after the live show and I just said I had it. That doesn't make any sense. Okay.

By the way, Sarah says, Franklin Institute in Philadelphia, not technically a children's museum, but it's known for field trips for kids in school. And they had this Harry Potter exhibit. And that's what I was reading a lot about when we were in Philly prepping reviews. So I remember people had a lot of opinions about this Harry Potter exhibit. So Michael says one star. It's hard to diss Benjamin Franklin or. What? It's not.

What a fucking nerd that guy was. Here we'll do it right now. Go. What a dork. Oh my God. I call him a nerdle. He thought flying a kite during a lightning storm was a good idea. And then he got a medal for it.

He did? He must have gotten a medal for it. It's hard to diss Benjamin Franklin or his eponymous institute slash museum. Besides being a world-class ladies' man and statesman, this prodig- He literally had syphilis. Yeah. Nice brag, though. Besides being a world-class ladies' man and statesman,

this prodigious inventor and scientist has made men like Edison, Westinghouse, and Elon Musk possible. Ew. I'm like, wait, you're dissing him yourself. Why are you dissing him if you think he can? Even old Ben himself would have... Oh, my God. I'm so nervous nervous i forgot about this even old ben himself would have put his gout riddled foot down over the poorly conceived

harry potter exhibit what a ladies man am i right what the hell i like how somewhere elon musk is like i don't want to be compared to this even old ben himself would have put his gout riddled foot down over the poorly conceived Harry Potter exhibit that has been running for a month or so at the Franklin Institute in Philadelphia. I should have remained in bed under the stairs before I ever agreed to be dragged to this overpriced, overcrowded, and underwhelming wizardly ripoff. I've seen some of the Harry Potter films, but I'm certainly not a hogwarts fanboy no costume wander weird gothic makeover for this muggle hoffenfucker misfit what i don't know how

i just said that in one fucker okay read it let me know if i'm i mean it's i do i have to read it muggle hoffenfucker oh my god right what i don't know i think he's making a jab at like Do I have to read it? Muggle Hoffenfucker. Oh, my God. Right? What? I don't know. I think he's making a jab at, like, the word, the jargon, the lingo in these books. I don't know. You know. But gothic makeovers? What about Harry Potter is, quote, unquote, gothic? Imagine having a costume and a wand and then a gothic makeover.

That would be, like, such a different vibe. a different what is happening um i have no idea no costume wand or weird gothic makeover for this muggle hoffenfucker misfit they threw a few costumes wands and assorted props in a cheesy castle set charged a fortune and left you to gasp for air while they counted the spoils. A pure money play that could have been so much better if the organizers sought a less suffocating experience by limiting the crowds. Most of the highlighted interactive exhibits were at least 60 deep as lines crashed into one another. But who am I kidding? This is Overdrive America, Let's Make Up for Lost Time 2022. Note to Dr to dr franklin by the way i looked this up what what did he look up whether he was a doctor oh is he was that an honorary doctorate

and so people call him dr franklin i'm like a lot of people get honorary doctorates don't they where's yours so shut up right there what's what you It's right there. What are you pointing at? Oh, you just missed it. Oh, the hole in your wall? Don't talk about that. Don't talk about that. Got her. Note to Dr. Franklin, please exit through the gift shop.

What else would you expect? Wave your plastic wand and watch your wallet disappear. I don't know if I'm more mad because I should have known better or just disappointed that I've been had by a coven of sleight of hand specialists. I suspect it really doesn't matter. One star. End of review. What does sleight of hand have to do with this?

I just feel like this. Who is pickpocketing you right now? I just feel like this is somebody who wrote this and was like, that's fucking genius. Yeah, but I don't. But it doesn't really even make sense. Do you know what I mean? Like it has a lot of. that's fucking genius. Yeah, but I don't, they didn't tell us anything. But it doesn't really even make sense. Do you know what I mean? Like it has a lot of flowery. It's verbose for no reason.

Yeah, it's very verbose. And I feel like at the end, but. It's not funny. That's the thing. It's not funny. If it were funny, if I found it funny. You laughed at Gout Riddle. Yeah, that was funny.

That part was. You, okay, so 17 people found this useful. 14 found it funny and 16 found it cool i'd like to interview those 14 i would too and i want to know what about 16 i want to know about those other people 11 how any of these people who are reacting to this one i want to know about uh the people who clicked oh no but that wasn't an option here oh bummer bummer. Yeah, no, I will say, when I remember this, because I remember people saying how overpriced it was, this exhibit. I remember so many reviews like that. I remember seeing it was underwhelming.

I didn't go. And yes, especially for the price. So I don't know if this person's wrong, but I feel like they could have said this. But I don't even know if they're wrong or right about what. It's just like it doesn't really even say much. It says a lot, but it says nothing also. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was just weird.

Oh, man. Okay, I've got one more for us. Okay. This is of the, let's see, this is of the Long Island Children's Museum. This is a one-star review. Let's see. This is of the Long Island Children's Museum. This is a one-star review.

There was this lady that said she didn't like the way our block buildings looked. So she made us knock our buildings. That took an hour to build. End of review. And then another lady came running and hurtled over our block building. What the fuck? do you think that lady works there it's like is it better or worse review yes i think so is it better worse like that's really wild behavior to be like that's not a good block take it down but i'm picturing them

also like doing a building up the twin towers or something oh i'm like i'm picturing like either yeah a big penis i'm like yeah or something like also inappropriate inappropriate yeah um that's called uh squashing free speech okay oh yeah actually that is true free speech applies to block buildings it probably does the supreme court must have covered that by now um good job zany are we done thank you i'm done with my children's museum oh boy that means it's time for my challenge i remember it having to do with toilets right yeah thanks gregory oh wait i forgot one review it was accidentally beyond the page break that i created so here it is this is um from chloe who wrote she her and then wrote parentheses not elta i feel like people are now like feel threatened not threatened but like feel like elta is like

a goal to live up to you know like a standard yeah so chloe wrote not elta um and before i so i i opened this email and read this review before I realized that Chloe wrote in the email, Christine will truly hate this. Zandy, come through for me. Okay. I was like, mother effer, now I have to use it. Why did you use it? Because I'd already read it.

And I was like, well, I feel like now I need to bring it to the table. I'm getting it. You know what I mean? Yeah. So this is a three-star view. This is of Playdate Portland, which is like a big kind of place interactive playscape type institution and uh she's right i hate it so this is not it not the place the review this is three stars by chris i discovered a land flowing with milfs and honeys.

This is why she was like, this is for Xander. Oh boy. Unfortunately, it is also occupied by bugger eating, germ spreading, Oshkosh bagosh wearing fuck trophies from the Pearl. Jesus. That's hilarious. Trophies is a really horrific thing to say. And I know very little about Portland, but I know the Pearl. I's hilarious. Fuck, trophies is a really horrific thing to say. I know very little about Portland, but I know the Pearl. I don't. Is that like a kind of hoity-toity?

Yeah, it's like, I don't know. The only times I went to the Pearl is like, there's like, you walk down, it's very shopping boutique-y and also I think a lot of new apartment buildings and stuff. But I don't know much of its history. A lot of new apartment buildings and stuff. Like trendy, high-end stuff.

Okay. But I don't know much of its history or anything. A lot of fuck trophies? Apparently. A lot of fuck. A lot of milfs and honeys. Okay. Fuck trophies. That sentence is so shocking to me.

It's shocking. It's so beautiful. It's hilarious. Unfortunately, it is also occupied by booger-eating, germ-spreading, oshkosh-bagosh-wearing fuck trophies from The Pearl. That being said, indoor kid playgrounds are a must during the cold, rainy Portland winter, as running around like a damn fool is one of the best ways to ensure that the little dictator takes a nice long nap, giving daddy enough daily adult time to drink beer,

watch sports, and continue his search for a pair of live-in goddesses to assist in the daily upbringing of my boy. Ooh. Yeah, that's called winning. Is this like, what's his name? Charlie Sheen? Is that how you're called? Yes, it is.

Actually, it is Charlie Sheen. But it reminds me of fucking How I Met Your Mother, Barney Stinson. Oh, yeah. Win it, you know, like that kind of overplayed like straight stereotype. Beer sports. Super straight. Super straight. And to be honest, this place is pretty damn sweet from a munchkins perspective as it is four stories of padded ramps,

slides, games, tubes, rope swings, and obstacles. Plus the piece de resistance is the ballroom, which allows kids to shoot nerf like balls at each other through air guns mounted at each side of the room.

Think American gladiators meets Nickelodeon. That sounds like a blast. That's a pitch. I mean, that probably already, that's probably all those shows from the nineties. Like, uh, double dare. I don a pitch. I mean, that's probably all those shows from the 90s. Double Dare.

Double Dare. No, Legends of the Hidden Temple. That's the one. Imagine the satisfaction derived from pelting obnoxious children into quiet submission with a continuous round of flying projectiles to their midsections, all while easily passing off the blame to my innocent one and a half year old. So you're literally admitting to like, harm, enjoying harming children. I mean, that's the least surprising thing ever based on the way this person's writing this review. It's like, um, okay, that's, you want to pelt them into submission?

Oh yeah. That's something, I mean, I would have a blast shooting nerf balls at children though like i like i assume it's not like him doing it makes it any more like faster you know i know but it's just weird okay it's weird the way he's talking about it absolutely he's like so into it you know i'm sorry i don't know if you would say you would be pelting them into no submission no that's fucking weird. I wouldn't say that. Plus, there's also some enjoyment to be found in smacking that unexpected Pearl District milf in her face with some well-placed balls.

Okay, yeah, so this person has problems. Which is also called winning in my book. End of review. That was part of it. I'm sorry. Twelve people found this helpful. Zero people said thanks. Well, yeah, because I learned absolutely nothing.

Okay. I learned. I learned a lot. I learned that you can shoot some of those like nerf balls at children. I learned that there's an opening for a goddess to help raise a very troubled child. Thirty-one people said love this. What? Guess how many people said oh no.

Hopefully at least one. A full zero. Oh, fuck. I got to add that. Oh, boy. This is the little emoji. Oh, I know it. Yeah, I got to put an oh no in there.

I did that on stage, I think, at one of our shows. I literally clicked the oh no button after reading the that on stage i think at one of our shows i literally clicked the oh no button after reading the review because no one had done it yet um i can confirm i don't even know what it was but i confirmed that it was necessary yeah i uh wow that was yeah that was troubling i i do not despite my enjoyment of certain bits of that review i do not um align myself with this person yeah i'm I'm like, okay, guy. That was something else. I will say written 12 years ago.

Okay, that actually, that makes sense. So maybe he's grown up a bit. And hopefully a goddess came in. No. No, for the goddess's sake. Let's not say that. Let's hope that everyone just is well adjusted and happy. There we go.

Yes. Okay. Now my challenge. Sorry. Can you imagine if I had skipped that one by accident? Poor Chloe. Okay. This is from Gregory, this challenge.

Of course it is because it's find reviews where people complain about a clogged toilet. I mean, oh, Lord. Okay. I'm going to start off with this one. I have quite a few. This one is from Michelle Sheher who said, I found this while researching apartments outside of Dallas, Texas. I just feel like this is a good starting point.

And this is a two-star review. Like I can't imagine what that means, you know, in the terms of the, like what is the ending point? It's a very basic, it's just like a very straightforward basic review two stars of an apartment building by the way

by Becca my toilet is clogged help end of review look at this oh no I love that it's two stars I love that too because they're like I don't want to be on my landlord's bad side by leaving one star. But also, I want to be like, hey, this needs to be dealt with.

She's like, this place is pet friendly. And here's some motivation. I haven't forgotten that. However. However. Clean, help fix my fucking toilet. Also, I love that this is their only review that they ever wrote yeah so you know you know that they were desperate that's a that's a sign of desperation that's true

okay so this is from john this was sent in by john uh it's an amazon review of charmin flushable wipes. Oh, no. Don't flush these. I know. Don't flush anything but toilet paper. It really stinks. And your waist. Don't flush the toys Zandy put in the.

Those stay put. Those are there for decor. And the children are not to play with them. So these flushable wipes, which I'll be honest, I have flushed these before and i know i shouldn't because i live in a house that's like 150 years old so but don't do it because it's it's dangerous um and here's this if i don't convince you this might uh this is a verified purchase and the user's name is always read the reviews first so there you go want to have your basement and day ruined like mine was keep reading to find out how i'd include a picture i took of the mess but i don't

want to ruin anyone's app by the way the number of fucking photos people like i i know what you don't need to put a photo yeah if there's something like provable maybe but that we all know what the universally i think we all know what the universally, I think we all know what that looks like. And our imaginations, yeah, work well enough where we can picture this. Exactly. But thankfully this person did not. I spent a year or so taking care of my elderly parents.

Near the end, using the bathroom became more difficult. So I bought many of these flushable wipes to make it easier for them. I had read of problems with wipes clogging sewer systems. So I made sure to buy flushable ones like these said they were. Fast forward many months. My parents have passed away, and I'm working on cleaning up the house. But their presence lingers in my sewage system. They haunt the pipes. I don't know. One morning, I wake up, and there's a sewer backup.

Very rare in this house. My parents lived here for four decades. I only recall this happening once due to trees that are now long gone. Managed to get a plumber on a Saturday morning. He earned his time and a half. Plumber spends three plus hours snaking the pipes from multiple points. Said he's never seen anything like this. And right before he finished the relatively small overflow from early in the morning, it becomes a much larger one.

And the culprit in all this? Wipes. Lots and lots of wipes undissolved in the months since my parents died. They hadn't used flushable wipes at all before I bought these for them, and these are the only brand I bought. So that's a thousand dollars just for the plumber, the carpet in the next room was ruined, and a bunch of stuff had to be thrown away. Plus me and my siblings had to spend our day cleaning up sewage. Thanks Charmin! So in summary, do not use these in your house unless you want to deal with a smelly, expensive, and exhausting problem. Poor plumber was sweating buckets when he finished. There are only two circumstances you should use these in. One, you're camping and they won't be flushed.

Two, you are using the bathroom of someone you hate and want to make their lives miserable. If you don't fit into either one of those categories, find something else. End of review. Yeah. We had that at our house in LA. We did. Because the previous tenants had a baby, I believe. It was something like that.

Wasn't there? They had a small kid? No. What they did was they cleaned with lysol wipes like they bought like oh they didn't even do the flushable nope they were the bulk lysol wipes and or clorox or whatever and they um who flushes clorox i know and they they literally cleaned the whole house with those and this was like a full house that we all lived in. Yeah. And then flushed them all.

And we kept smelling sewage in the basement. Oh, it was so nasty. It was horrible. You could smell outside. You could smell inside. The basement was disgusting. Gia loved it. Oh, it was just a constant gross smell.

And then the, like, Roto-Rooter came, left in five minutes because they were like, this is a much bigger issue than we can deal with. We need to come back prepared. I saw the bill. What was it? It cost her like $70,000. 70? Yeah, because she had to replace the entire, like all the piping and sewers. Holy fuck.

And insurance covered some of it, she said, but like. Jesus. God, we weren't on the hook for that. I'm pretty sure it was 70. Was it 30 or 70? Okay, those are very different numbers. I know, but I'm pretty sure it was multiple installments. Okay, if it was tens of thousands of dollars, that's shocking.

I at least know that. Yikes. It was, they had to dig up the whole front yard. I remember. They had a fucking construction crews in our yard. They had construction crews for like, it took them like a week. I, I, it was, they had to dig up the whole front yard. They had a fucking construction crews in our yard. Construction crews for like, it took them like a week. They had to dig out the whole system and sewage system.

It was a mess. So anyway, I know that that's like technically not flushable, but apparently, especially in old pipes, like even the flushable ones are not supposed to. Don't do it. Just don't do it.

Just don't only put toilet paper. It's just, that's it. Save yourself the headache or fuck off. Fuck your landlord. I don't do it. Just don't only put toilet paper. It's just save yourself the headache. Or fuck off. Fuck your landlord. I don't care. Like, whatever, you know.

Fuck landlords. It's a waste of water. Sure. I don't know. So are landlords. I mean, I guess don't. Okay. Don't flush.

Don't flush wipes. Okay. Flush toilet paper. That's it. Okay. Thanksush toilet paper. That's it. Okay. Thanks, Annie. You're so welcome. This is from Kristen Sheher, and this is a review on Amazon of the Master Plunger MP500

B4 Heavy Duty Bathroom Toilet Plunger Kit with Short Bucket Equipped with Air Release Valve. What? An air release? What? This thing is so goofy. It looks like a sex toy or something. It does look like a sex toy um and then but my

favorite part is that it's ribbed for his pleasure it literally is ribbed and then it says color no color which thanks probably for the best although then it's easy to never mind okay so this is actually a redemption um it is a five star review and the title is it works but there is a trick to it oh okay i'm gonna start with the it says second update but it's like the top of the review so i'm just gonna read from there second update after nearly two years still holds up and works as close to new as a two-year-old plunger can get i used it at least two times a month because my apartment plumbing sucks i'm sure it doesn't smell like daisies if you try to sniff it like a bloodhound would, but I can confirm that it doesn't smell bad at all even from a few inches away,

provided you do clean it after using. Highly recommend. Now this is the update after 5 months. I changed my review to 5 stars because it's holding up very well, like new, after 10 to 12 uses. My main worry is that it would smell over time, but so far so good. Also, it always works if you do it right. Read below. I saw the pictures and the size dimensions, but was still surprised by how tall and big this plastic thing is next to my toilet. That is a big minus.

At least it has no color color so it like yeah true how tall is it does it say do you see um because it i mean that thing looks pretty big i can i can see that but if this person was like still surprised at how big it is i guess i have six feet tall can you imagine a plunger now that is haunting whether it's a plunger? Now that is haunting. Whether it's a plunger or a sex toy, very haunting. Let's see, there's not a link. I'm sorry I made you look this up. Can you search this?

Oh, yeah. I'll search Master Plunger. What is it? Master Plunger MP500B4? Yeah. This thing is crazy. Okay, found it. it oh there's one in black as well okay like it looks like crooked already just by like just in the picture it's so funny let's see holy shit look at this picture okay but sorry sorry sorry okay. It is, it weighs 0.62 pounds. My gosh, why is it not telling me how tall it is?

Because they don't want you to know. Are you serious? They're probably like- 21 inches tall. That's less, that's like less than two feet. It's like a normal plunger size probably. Yeah, it still looks pretty fucking big in the photo of the person's hand. I think it's because it's shaped so weirdly.

It is shaped very weirdly. Okay, anyway. However, this thing does work, so do you need to look cool or classy or do you need to unclog your toilet with little effort? Also, people said it doesn't work. Yes, I thought that as well when I tested it out on arrival in a clean, unclogged toilet. What? I mean, it doesn't unclog your toilet when it's already unclogged?

Okay, to be fair, to be fair. I don't get it. Nothing happened. No suction. If that is what the other reviewers were doing, they are getting it wrong. Two days later, I was able to test it out when I clogged the toilet. I like that they're like, finally. That's impressive that they, because, you know, a plunger is something I think you buy no matter what, and you might never need to use it.

I don't know if you heard that, but he said he used it twice a month. Oh, yeah. Wait, how? He said his apartment plumbing was bad, and I said, hmm. That's really fucking bad. A lot of people's apartment plumbing are bad. Jesus Christ. Okay, sorry.

So two days later, I was able to test it out When I clogged the toilet What can I say? I thought, do I want to even use this thing? But alright, I have no choice So I tried and nothing worked Then I remembered I need to follow the instructions Follow the instructions! I placed over the hole in the toilet

And pressed it until the accordion part Was mostly collapsed People listening are like, what? There until the accordion part was mostly collapsed. People listening are like, what? There's an accordion? Yeah, did we not mention? Oh yeah, did we not describe? I said it's ribbed. Come on.

You did. That's true. I placed over the hole in the toilet and pressed it until the accordion part was mostly collapsed, then turned the handle a quarter turn or so left, and then all the way right. This created the suction. What? It plunged with relatively little splashing. I've since used it many times and it works every time.

Never takes more than one or two attempts of three to four rapid plunging motions to eliminate the entire clog. You don't need to be super strong to use this either, so most people could do it and with less energy than a plunger. It's never taken me more than 20 to 30 seconds of effort and another one to two minutes of cleaning and disinfecting. To be fair, this person has more practice than anyone on earth. I know, I trust them, right?

Because they have done it so many times. Because their apartment plumbing is so bad. Yeah, totally not their fault. Totally not. And their big poops. Just call them like I see it. As for cleaning, you can take it apart and it's wide enough to be able to clean everything easily with soapy water or disinfect it in your sink or shower. You can also be lazy and just plunge it into the clean toilet bowl water.

Okay. Sorry, that doesn't seem. What? Hang on. That doesn't seem like you're cleaning it. You can also be lazy and just plunge it into clean toilet bowl water with a little disinfectant. Depends on how dirty you got it, but this is too cumbersome to store under the sink. If you are going to do that, you'll need to clean and disinfect it thoroughly.

I was worried that the plastic would retain odors, but it hasn't so far. I keep mine in its little stand beside the toilet because I use it at least twice a month, sometimes even twice a week. Yay, fiber. I love it. So that was a redemption potty review. Incredible. Okay, this is my last one, Sandy. Okay.

And this is something I found on TripAdvisor. That's fun. It's not even a review it's actually a forum which even more fun yeah i feel like we don't use tripadvisor forums often not often i do every now and then but sometimes they're just very annoying um and like they're less unhinged than yelp exactly that's the problem with tripadvisor and it's mostly like actually people requesting advice about travel. So it's oftentimes very boring. It's probably like a legitimate resource. So this is a legitimate resource for the following question.

Please. And this is under Las Vegas topics. Las Vegas travel forum. Please help clog toilet. Oh, they spelled toilet wrong, but whatever. I'm in a difficult situation. Could desperately use your help. Have indulged in way too many buffets over the last couple days.

This morning, finally had a bowel movement and have severely clogged the toilet in my room at the Mirage Hotel. By the way, they tagged the Mirage. Like, a link. Have looked all around the bathroom but cannot find a plunger anywhere. I'm too embarrassed to call housekeeping. Is there a store nearby that sells plungers? No. I don't want to leave the room for too long.

I would be mortified to return only to find a team in the bathroom plunging away. Frown face. This made me really sad. Yeah, because it's a shitty feeling. I relate to this panic. I'll handle it. I just am embarrassed and I don't want To make anyone else do it Like that time

I puked all over My hotel bathroom And I tried cleaning up As best I could But I could I knew of it So I just left A bunch of money

On the toilet On the toilet Like not on the Okay but it was probably On the sink Maybe not on the toilet That's what I feel like

That's what a tip For housekeeping is And I left a note Like apologizing And I came back And it was sparkling Brand new Oh you were coming back like

yeah it was like i was staying there another night oh geez um but i left because i was like this has to be cleaned before because i was studying abroad and like everyone else went to some horse farm or something sure and i was like i'm too sick and they're like okay it was your birthday last night because we were in budapest right and i was I was like, they were like, fine, you're the old, everyone else was hungover because we were all partying together. They let me not go because it was my birthday. I did not know about this. And then I went outside, went for a walk in Budapest, which was lovely. And, but pretty soon after leaving the hotel room, I was on the phone with our stepmother and I dropped my phone and it shattered. That's what it was. I was like, at one of these days.

Then I got my very first iPhone. Worth it. You can finally play Coin Dozer. Okay. So you and I. By the way, this forum post has 124 replies. Holy shit. Yeah.

Yeah. And I will say you and I understand this, I think. I mean, I feel that I understand this panic. My advice to them would be like, these people are paid for it. They've seen far worse. I mean, yes. You should absolutely tell the front desk, no, it's not going to look bad on you at all. However, me in that position, I'd be thinking like, can I deal with this myself? Exactly. Like, I understand the panic. I would try to advise them also like, it's fine. It happens. But it doesn't mean you'd necessarily take your

own advice well jambro bino who's by the way look at this profile picture it's like um one of those it's like a screenshot of like i guess a high score of a one of those uh uh gambling but a card game like i feel like those are the ones you go to the bar and they're sitting they sit at the screen at the bar it's like a blackjack game or a poker game so that's jam bro jam robino um and he it was the first respond uh and he said is this a crap story or what with a wink face oh um and then dave says first of all thanks for posting something truly different oh by the by the way, this is important to note. Dave's photos of a martini. Two olives.

Two olives. Straight up neat two olives. It looks like these profile pictures look like ones that are fake that would be in some sort of weird. It does. But. You do have to remember. Online training thing. This is the Las Vegas forum.

Got it. They're kind of trying to lean into their you know look at this person's oh maybe they're maybe people who don't have a photo they just like maybe that'll be weird if they put alcohol as a random thing that you could and like video poker that's video poker that's what it's called yeah that guy's Jim Robino video poker is his profile picture. Someone else has a roulette table. Yeah. Okay. First of all, thanks for posting something truly different.

I think you have no choice but to call housekeeping and have them send maintenance up. I'm sure you're not the first nor the worst they've ever had to deal with. And that was what most people said. And then this skip dog was a real asshole and said, LOL, first time this ever happened to you. They actually have employees for this kind of thing. They are called housekeepers. Don't overthink it. Wow.

Okay. Yeah. So they don't clearly don't get it. They're not wrong, but they don't get it. They don't get it. David says, you not got a do not disturb sign you could stick on door while you go and find yourself a big stick to sort the problem out? Okay. By the way, David has like the most beautiful sunset as a profile picture.

So this is all throwing me off. Yeah, the energy was very different. The energy is not matching. I almost said unmatched, but that's true too. The energy is also unmatched. Okay. So then this one is from Katie. Isn't use of a plunger one of the perks included

in the resort fee okay then this is darren this happens every time i go to puntacana and use those stupid worthless eco-friendly toilets just call down to the desk and have them send up a plunger you can offer to do it yourself if you are embarrassed but they have done this countless times stuff happens enjoy and then the original poster op responded i really would prefer not to call housekeeping oh man does cvs sell plungers i'm sorry but also this is so funny because i know the exact cvs across the street from the mirage oh i was like from budapest no okay from the Mirage. Oh, I was like, from Budapest? No, from the Mirage. Like, that's, I would think that's the only place nearby to get, potentially get a plunger.

Like, you're not surrounded by, like, HomeGoods stores, so that's a shitty spot to be in. But it would be so silly to buy a plunger. I know. You could at least ask them for a plunger. I don't know, but then, yeah, then they'd be like, no, we got it, so that's a tough spot. But you can, yeah, it is a tough spot. I feel like if you them for a plunger i don't know but then yeah then they'd be like no we got it so i mean you can but you can i yeah it is a tough spot i feel like if you ask for a plunger you could say like i'm insisting on doing it yeah yeah but half of our listeners are like

what the fuck just fucking tell them to do i know i know i know i agree with i would i would absolutely just tell the front desk i'd apologize and they'd be like, nothing to worry about. And then they'd fix it. And then no one would care because they've seen worse. Do you remember that scene in, I'm not going to give spoilers, in The Jury? What the fuck is The Jury? Isn't that what it's called? Twelve Angry Men?

Oh, Jury Duty. I thought it was called Twelve Angry Men? Oh, Jury Duty. I thought it was called The Jury. Oh, I mix it up every time I call it. What are you talking about? Is it called Jury Duty? The Jury sounds like The Trial. That's why I was confused. Is that like Kafka? No, sorry. I meant Jury Duty, the show.

The Kafka show. It was kind of Kafka. The one you and I directed in third grade. The Kafka film we directed in our house. We should do that. I feel like we did. Almost positively. We did not film a Kafka-esque.

I think I might have. You got to admit that sounds likely. Or at least possible. Okay, I'll give you a possible. I filmed a lot of things in the cemetery next door. So, just saying so that's true um no the show uh the show jury duty uh yeah with james marston when the toilet clogs in the hotel i was thinking about that when i thought when i saw the challenge oh really yeah i hadn't thought about that until this moment but um funny good times okay so oh my god i just opened my i was trying to get out of the fucking tab

and i accidentally opened picnic at hanging rock oh no wikipedia page last episode oh no chicken lasagna from stouffer's get me out of here i need to close my tabs after we record okay so this is the this i'm not gonna read all 124 but um so they said i really would prefer not to call housekeeping to cvs sell plungers and then uh jennifer says call housekeeping and ask for a plunger then take care of it yourself it happens no biggie and then this is the final uh comment that i'm going to read uh the original poster responded no biggie wish that was the case and that is the end of my challenge and that's hilarious i feel i have probably accomplished the said challenge i'd say you did better than i did last week that's for sure also the comment uh the last one on page one of 13 jesus christ is that this post was determined

to be inappropriate oh no so we don't know what the worst of the worst was but uh 124 comments happened on that thread fascinating and i you know what i should go back and see i should see what they ended up doing glimpse into the human experience it is and wouldn't it be like um kind of kind of cool to see them be like you know what i did call down and they were so nice about it and it all went well yeah i was hoping there'd be some sort of resolution. Yeah, I didn't even think to find us a resolution. Of course not. Why would you do that? We don't do that on this show.

Should I comment on page 13 and be like, any update? Any update, please? Oh, well. Are you done or are you going to look? I'm looking. It says Jam Robino is back. He's the second to last comment. Just when you think it's finally disappeared for good,

this post just keeps rising back up to the surface. When you least expect to see it, it surprises you with a reappearance. It's putting up a hell of a fight, that's for sure. What? Okay. What? I literally don't know. He's trying to plunge it down.

I guess so. Okay, this is unhinged. I mean, use towels to clean it up. This is crazy. It gets out of control. Crappy anniversary. Toilette. Is that French?

Someone misspelled toilet? Well, remember I said in the post that... Christina, I don't remember anything. Then don't ask questions. Oh my god, Jam Robino wrote... So he's the one reposting this. He wrote dump, er, I mean bump. Like this is

constantly on his mind. I like how he keeps bringing it up and then he's like, this can't go away. Like his brain is just... He has a toxic relationship with this before him. I missed the happy ending. What did the OP finally do? OP ended up using the hand method,

was too embarrassed to call housekeeping, which was a disgusting experience, then tried to flush toilet, but toilet overflowed, mopped up mess with towels, which were now various shades of brown. Please. I'm sorry.

I'm just like so nervous. I'm like nervous laughing. Place soiled towels. Oh, my God. Place soiled towels beside neighbor's room service tray. As neighbor had been keeping OP awake last two nights with drunken arguments. Oh, my God. So now i'm against this op yeah because then the response is okay thanks for that colorful follow-up it really would have been so much better

if you bit the bullet and called housekeeping especially since you ruined a bunch of towels and not only grossed out your annoying neighbors but anyone who walked down that hall and had to smell it good job you're an awesome person like Like, that's shitty. Literally. This is bananas, dude. Like, I mean, fuck. And someone, the comment, the last comment, one of the last comments is like, I cannot stop laughing. I've never laughed so much at a post. I also cannot figure out why someone would return to this forum to tell everyone how he handled it. That they fucking did something absolutely embarrassing. That's so bad.

And see, they made the situation so much worse for everyone. Exactly. By not just dealing with it. And why ask for advice and then literally just make it, make the worst possible choice and make everybody miserable?

I don't know. I hope it's a joke, but it did not seem like one. No, and the person who wrote that wrote it like months later and it was the OP. I know that from the username. That's hilariously awful.

Yeah. I can't with the hand method, and it didn't work, so it overfilled. Like, what is the hand method? I assume I know what the hand method is, but, like, why would that work? In the trash, which is, like... But why would that work? Like, I don't understand. Like, does that... It wouldn't work. Like, it's claw. You gotta, like, plunge it. But why would that work? Like, I don't understand. Like, does that.

That wouldn't work. Like, it's clogged. You gotta like plunge it. That's the whole point. Like in the pipes. It just overflowed the toilet because it didn't fucking. What they probably did was reach in there and try to pull out what was in there. Oh.

I'm serious. I get it, yeah. Because they said it was disgusting. And then I tried to flush it and it overflowed. But like, why would they think that would succeed? That I cannot answer. That's not how this works. That's disgusting.

It's really disgusting. Oh my gosh. I'm not thrilled about it. Okay. So there's that. Well, thank you. Thanks, Gregory. Thanks.

I hope you're happy. Yeah, I'm not. I actually am. I really was delighted by that challenge. Oh, good. It's rare that I get to gross you out. That was nasty, yeah. Anyway. Thanks for nasty, yeah. Anyway.

Thanks for listening, everyone. Tickets pre-sale for Pittsburgh and Nashville on sale now, and then general on sale will be this Friday at, I believe, 10 a.m. Eastern time. Pre-sale is current. Or local time, if Nashville's not Eastern time, which I think it is. Sorry, I just... 10 a.m. local time. I'd like to add that presales for Patreon right now.

Yes. So right now we gave Patreon. I mean, we haven't done it yet because we're recording this early, but our plan is to announce it to patrons first and not talk about it anywhere but with the patrons, give them a presale code. So that's live right now. And then everyone can start buying tickets Friday when general on sale happens.

So yeah, excited to see you all in November. It's going to be fun. Can't wait. Bye, everyone. See you at the museum. Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet is a Forever Dog production. Hosted and produced by Zandy and Christine Schieffer. It's edited by Marco Padilla.

Cover art by Courtney Aventura. Theme music by Mavis White. Executive produced by Mariah Nicholas. Forever Dog Productions is Joe Cilio, Alex Ramsey, and Brett Boehm.