Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 256: Reviews of Naughty Halloween Costumes

Episode Date: October 25, 2023

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do what life throws your way and smell like you didn't. Find Secret at your nearest Walmart or Shoppers Drug Mart today. Welcome to Beach to Sandy, Water to Wet. A podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if i could hello everyone you started the podcast with um because we need to discuss what just happened Hello, everyone. You started the podcast with um? Because we need to discuss what just happened. What just happened?

Well, I just said to her, I have so many pictures of half-naked women on my phone. And then she's like, mine are all men, which I'm fascinated by. Because... Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. They can read the title of this episode. They know the context, right? I don't know. When you say I have half-naked photos of women on my phone, it doesn't sound like that's what you're talking about.

I knew in the moment, but I feel like now when you say it out of context, it sounds like you're just saying you have a phone full. And then I have a phone full of half naked men. The context is the title of this episode, reviews of naughty Halloween costumes. Yeah, yeah. So that's what we're referring to. Not naughty in Toyland. Unless you found any of those Halloween costumes. Yeah. Yeah. So that's what we're referring to. Not naughty in Toyland. Not naughty. Unless you found any of those.

I did not. Oh, I misunderstood the prompt. It's all naughty in Toyland. Oh my God. What if it was just Halloween costumes of that little guy? And I thought that's what you meant. How wholesome versus this? Well, only if both of us brought that.

It would not be wholesome if we went back and forth. What if there was a naughty naughty costume there might be there should be i'm upset about it already but no i only said it's like it's interesting to me because i didn't see any sexy men's costumes but i didn't really look all i typed in was sexy halloween oh yeah it's definitely like uh you have to search geared toward women i would say yeah well i didn't search for it. A bunch of emailers. Oh, the emailers. Yeah, I just happened to click on certain...

That explains it. Certain emails and got... I was like, this is a fun little twist to have sexy male costumes. Yeah, yeah. I honestly will say I had trouble researching this. It was difficult because when it comes to these types

of costumes the sizing was so like out of the corner of my eye i'm seeing what she's fucking doing she's got this fucking creepy ass look at him it's a naughty not it's a naughty mascot it doesn't look anything like naughty in my head no it doesn't those like face is so freaky okay imagine oh they have like this guy too um good these are these are uh these are good though i gotta say um so many people complain about sizing it was just such a pain to go through boring i know come on people complain about sizing. It was just such a pain to go through. Boring. I know.

Come on, people. Complain about something exciting. Complain about something more interesting. I should have looked at naughty costumes. This one has no reviews, so I'm pretty disappointed. But I do have reviews. I also wanted to add, I know we put a promo in, presumably we did, but we're going to Pittsburgh and Nashville November 8th and 9th. We'd love for y'all to come and buy tickets at beachyusany.com.

I just want to throw that out there in case you skipped the promo. Yeah. Something I keep forgetting to say to you, including earlier when we recorded a promo, was I also made a beachyusany.com slash tour. Oh, beachyusany.com slash tour. It's not necessarily better, but it's, I guess, just more focused. More succinct. You don't have to scroll like two clicks millimeters good thank you for that you're welcome um should i go first can't wait to see you all there by the way yes please yeah uh from jamie

he they who wrote i hope these are helpful i spent most of an ip law lecture searching for them which i'm like good use of your time a good use of the university Wi-Fi searching for sexy costumes. Well, it's potentially research because for class... IP law? Wait a second! Because there's IP issues with all these weird knockoff costumes. I'm sending Jamie the picture of the naughty in Toyland costume because you can tell that is a fake. Yeah, that is not officially licensed. No, that's got to be fake. So they say, hope these are helpful.

I spent most of an IP law lecture searching for them and it was a better use of my time for sure. And then wrote bonging with the colons around it. Bonging. Okay, this is called Cardinal Sin, sexy religious priest, men's costume. Okay, here it is. Jamie. Called Cardinal Sin Sexy Religious Priest Men's Costume. Yes. Okay, here it is. My favorite part of these episodes

every single year is that they have such powerful visuals attached. Oh, yeah. So, do you want to describe this? The best way I can describe it is We'll put them on Instagram, the ones that are like promo pictures. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah so unless jamie says i can't because it looks like full fishnet it is it's

like mesh mesh sorry it's more like it sorry mesh top and bottom but um in the the crotch area for the bottoms um there's like a flap with a golden cross on it which is incredible and then it's like a flap with a golden cross on it, which is incredible. And then. It's like skin tight, really skimpy, really short. And then at the top. The guy wearing it is super like jacked. Yeah. And has these like combat boots that are unlaced.

Oh. I don't know if you noticed that. No. That feature. Whoa. It seems a little dangerous. Living life on the edge, you know. That's right.

It's like only god can save me now i i also wonder uh if that's part of the costume i doubt it i doubt well that was another big complaint so many people ordered a costume and then didn't get like specific parts that were featured and sometimes like didn't come with my What is it called? Over the rainbow Wizard of Oz Costume I remember Toto though I led with that hoping the rest of the film

The state of Kansas didn't come with my Wicked witch What's that movie called? The big twister didn't come with my Auntie Anne costume Now I'm just bragging that I know I'm out of characters that I know. Wow, you're so... Thank you. I'm out of characters. This is called... Tin Man.

I was kidding, yeah. One star. There's the cowardly lion. The Tin Man. The scarecrow. There are the flying little monkeys. I didn't ask. There's the man behind the curtain.

And the big kahuna. Big Lebowski. The biggest character of all. Dorothy. Dorothy. Dorothy. No. I'm just fucking with you. I was panicking.

He was stressing. I'm sorry. I was fucking with you. Okay, that was... Yeah, I don't know. I'm getting fun. Anyway, let's talk about this. This is a one-star review of a sexy religious priest men's costume called Cardinal Sin, which is very fun.

And the one-star review is titled Horrible... I don't get it. Like, I know what a cardinal sin is. Well, it's like sinful because it's sexy. I don't know. Why make... So you're making this a cardinal sin? That's pretty intense.

Wait, is cardinal sin murder? No. I think that's one of... Cardinal sins is like a few different things. Cardinal sins are like the worst of the worst. That only cardinals can do. Also known as the seven deadly sins. No.

Pride, greed, wrath, envy, lust. Yeah, exactly. So okay, I guess... So yeah, cardinal sins. Okay. I guess it's... Never mind. Lust! I'm lustful. Okay. I guess it's nevermind. Lust.

I'm lustful. Okay. I'm ready. They should say Cardinal sin number five. I'm in, I'm in the mood. One star, horrible mockery.

Like, I know what it's, I knew it was going to be about that, but I just, I'm so glad. Yeah. Yeah. Amazon along with,

oh, by the way, sorry, they obviously didn't buy this, oh, by the way, sorry. They obviously didn't buy this, but they had to select a size. So they selected medium. Okay. To review it, which makes me laugh that they had to select. I love that.

They're like, oh, what would I wear? Which one did you purchase? Well, if I must, I suppose I'd be a medium in this mesh, skin-tight priest costume. Amazon, along with other corporations, only see dollar signs and are making bucks at the expense of Catholic Christians and the mockery of our faith and our moral and religious beliefs. My prayers, prayer hand emoji, in case you didn't know what prayers are. My prayers, prayer hands emoji, go out to Amazon for selling this filth and to all who cannot see that this is not okay at the hour of judgment what will you answer our lord for this and all the other offenses end of review imagine showing up to the pearly gates in this mesh costume i would be like saint peter and he'd be like fucking come on in yeah seriously no questions asked yeah i think

that's one way ticket in one way ticket wow um what how will you explain yourself imagine this is the thing when you go and they're like you passed the test to get into heaven but there's one thing from your 20s that we want to address and i'd like you to explain yourself but imagine living your life that way like thinking about every little thing you do you're like how will i explain this god's gonna ask me about this i have a feeling a lot of those people who say that don't actually think about that and do terrible things without caring about consequences anyway people like that write their own narratives yeah wow we um because that thing that is a quite the costume i think you could you it's impressive if you can pull that off i'm working uh i'm happy i'm happy with where i am

physically but you know i'm working my way to be able to pull that off i'm working uh i'm happy i'm happy with where i am physically but you know i'm working my way to be able to pull that off that is kind of that when i saw that picture i thought goals goals goals so that's right i think um i think god would understand my my goal isn't heaven it's like rock hard abs that's what you'd trade the devil trade your soul for with the devil you'd be like i'm pretty much i'd pretty much give take anything oh like giving my soul i would i would take whatever like it that that's yeah sure i take that but like sometimes i'm just if i don't know a devil comes by and i'm hungry i'll take a nice meal dig an ore Oreo? An Oreo or two. Maybe two. You can have my soul. Yeah.

I don't need it. No, I really don't feel like I do. Anyway, your turn. Anyway, my turn. This one's from Elta, whose subject was, Zandy, look at this one. Body of the email was, I just know X-Teen will hate this one. I also hate it. Upside down smiley face.

So this is what Elta thinks of me i'm just gonna read it this is of the adome adome a-d-o-m-e sexy lingerie set halloween costumes for women school girl outfits cosplay lingerie lace two-piece role-playing outfits okay yeah i mean yeah you get the idea i sort of got the idea i have more photos on my phone if you want me to go through those okay here's a one-star review they're in a folder called taxes taxes that's funny i feel like i used to have like a a private folder i don't want to know that nothing like that but like i would hide things in there you gotta call it like usually things i'm like self-conscious about like my poems and stuff like nothing nothing like exciting don't get too excited people but i forget i think i called it homework yeah you know like it was

such a generic like just like when you said taxes that was so funny to me because I'm like, yeah, that's exactly what I would name it. That's where I looked when I was a PI. Yeah. First place I looked was folders that said like, I'm not even kidding. I believe it. Folders that said like documents. And I'm like, yeah, right. Yeah.

Okay. Here's a one-star review of that sexy, just a schoolgirl kind of costume. One star. Titled Used and Unclean. Oh, no! One star. Came with what looked like cum stains on the top and the bottoms. I hand-washed, and I'm in the process of returning.

I figured the least I could do was wash it for the poor person who's going to receive my return because it didn't look like the seller did that for me wait a second i just bought a sexy school costume and it smelled like tide does that mean i was the third as a sloppy third you were the we don't know it was only three you could have been the fifth person you don't know how many people came on that someone hand washed that for me with wool light. Yeah, that's nice. Yeah, that was helpful. Other than that, this product was very well made, stretchy, and durable. The only issue I had with the quality of the product

is that I wish the waistline was more elastic as to fit the fluctuation with sizes in which we women shift to. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I think I actually read that pretty well. I feel like she has like a... She's standing at the chalkboard in her sexy, like trying to explain this to me. What are you talking about?

Women's bodies. Yeah. Yeah. The one I bought was about two sizes too small. I am currently in the process of exchanging mine, but if I get my new one in a better condition, I will give four stars. The only reason I gave one was because of the cleanliness of the garment i mean come on guys or less parentheses or less i don't understand this line come on guys oh come on guys oh no that's not what they meant i just that was a

me thing i guess you don't think so it says i mean, come on, guys, parentheses, or less. Maybe they made or ladies or gals. Okay. I mean, come on, guys. We don't want to wear someone else's DNA when we didn't sign up for it. Tips. Pre-wash by hand. Buy two sizes up. Better to be a bit too big than too small.

Other than that, I wish y'all luck. End of review. Gross. I love that they started it off that way, and they're like oh yeah but i still wore it i tried it on and well i mean they washed it i know but i just love that they're like anyway the next one i order i'm like they're gonna start sending you all the dirty ones knowing that you're gonna wash them and send them back you're like they're dry cleaner now that's actually a good call and they didn't upgrade to four stars. So presumably they didn't receive the new one. In pristine condition.

That's so gross. That's gross. Imagine. Never mind. Imagine being in that scenario where you created this problem and then you're like, I'm going to return this. And you know when you go into a UPS to return something to Amazon, I guess you don't really shop. Sorry, I'm changing my phone background. Alex you know when you go into a UPS to return something to Amazon, I guess you don't really shop. Sorry, I'm changing my phone background. Alex Sinner, stop it.

Sorry. Go to the UPS store. Yeah, you return something to Amazon. They ask you not to bring a box or a bag because they package it for you. Oh, okay, yeah. Imagine handing that over with the knowledge that you've done something that can't be undone to this item. And you know someone's going to get this in the mail. undone to this item and you know someone's gonna get this in the mail like did i tell you recently i bought a picture frame online and i pulled it out and it had someone's sonogram in it

like an ultrasound like actual one yes because at first i thought that's a weird thing for amazon to like put or for whichever wild brand to use as like their you know sample image like stock stock photo so then i like open the back to put in my picture and i realized it's been like masking taped in there like somebody had taken out the actual sample photo and put in like an ultrasound and so my entire family my in-laws were all in town and i'm like they're gonna see this and be like oh my gosh is christine pregnant and i was like i have to dispose of this but then i felt really weird because it was a really big frame too but what a prank opportunity

in what way i don't know i guess no one would i don't know maybe it's not a prank seems like a really not nice prank um to pretend you're pregnant yeah probably not. And so then I took out the thing and it like had their name in the hospital. And it was so weird. So I had to throw it away. But then I felt really weird throwing away like an 8 by 10 printout of someone's sonogram. Yeah. So I was like, I'm not looking at all of this trash. And I told my mother-in-law, when you take the trash out, if you see an ultrasound, it's not mine, I swear.

Anyway, it was very odd. And I thought, who returned this and didn't think like, hey, I'll take the sonogram out of it. I just thought that was weird. Anyway. I hope they're not missing it. No. So I thought that was weird at first. But then my mother-in-law was like, they probably had like a reveal or a baby shower, like something where they bought it temporarily to like use it as decor or for a baby shower or for a surprise and then sent it right back. Ford Escape with available Alexa built-in, so you can change the music. Oh yeah, Alexa, change station to 99.2. See? Purchase a 2024 Escape ST-Line all-wheel drive with Tech Pack

at 3.49% APR for 72 months with down payment. That's just $267 bi-weekly. Cash value of $40,294. Plus, eligible Ford owners get a $1,000 bonus. For details, visit your local Ford store or Ford.ca. Ford owners get a $1,000 bonus. For details, visit your local Ford store or Ford.ca. So, I have another one sent in by Jamie. This is called Jungle Man Costume Cheetah Print One Size Sexy Halloween

Costume for Men. Here's a picture. Goals. Goals. That's like, not to sound too much of a boomer, but that's hardly a costume i mean it's a loincloth it's hardly anything it's a that's it's a naked man like come on yeah at least the priest don't come on or less or less at least the priest one had some personality yeah it was more creative and unique this one is literally i, do you know how much this costs?

Oh, great question. I can find out. What's your guess while I load it? I'm hoping no more than like $12. It costs $17.99. Okay. Depending on the color, let's see. Black Leopard.

Oh, also $17.99. So you can pick, choose between this one or this one. Oh, no. Which looks more Flintstone to me. I will not pick that Flintstone one. Yeah. So let me read this one. Two-star review by Chad called Not Worth the Money.

My boss bought me this to go- What do you do for work? I know. That's what I said. What the heck? My boss bought me this to go-go dancing. I could not even wear it. It was too big and the loincloth material and jockstrap material both seemed very cheaply made.

The fit was terrible and the cut of the loincloth is not like pictured. It's more just like a weird square. End of review. So yeah, I'm glad you noticed that because I thought, I'm sorry, your boss bought this for you? I think you could probably make a good amount of money suing that person unless you are a dancer for a living. Yeah, I think that is what is happening. I'm assuming to go-go dance, and I'm assuming that's what Chad's up to because otherwise I'd be real concerned. As someone who has seen Chippendales like three or four times, I think it would be really fun to be that person.

To be that person. Yeah,. To design, costume designer. Yeah, yeah, I agree. But one of the dancers like did, does I think majority of the choreography and we talked to him afterwards and it's like so fucking impressive. Yeah. Like that shit is so, what an impressive show anyway. And you can't mess around. Because they're so funny and self-aware. Yeah.

It's like the funniest fucking show. Yeah, but you can't mess around with this cheap quality shit. Yeah, no. I don't think Chippendales buys their costume for $70 on Amazon. No. I'm just saying like what a fun concept like picking out the outfits for this. I know. I just feel like you have to be so careful because if you are dancing in this and it's not elasticized well, things could go very wrong.

True, true. But maybe that's what the people want. You could be right. Also, just in case you're wondering. That's all that matters. The back is a thong. Nice. I actually was wondering. I wasn't sure if there was the same amount of cloth on the back excellent oh one thing that so yeah that reminds me i hit reviews and someone posted a review of themselves wearing it which makes me deeply uncomfortable yeah i was about to say how these amazon reviews i did not know how many thirst trap like type photos really is there because when you go to sexy halloween costumes holy shit people are like here i'll show you me wearing yeah oh like the ones with 20 000 reviews or something you

will see just just so many and it's like also all sorts of people every single person upgraded your phone uh storage yeah i i It filled up like in seconds. That's what I thought. I downloaded the entirety of the sexy Halloween review photos that Amazon has to offer. Yeah, that's a lot. Yeah, it's like a couple million. A couple million, I would say. These photos I'm about to read the review of are some of my favorites, actually. This was sent in by Mia.

And I'll read what Mia has to say after i read the review great uh this is a one-star review of a plus size nurse heartbreaker costume it's a nurse costume very stereotypical classic sexy yeah the cross though is white in a red circle so it doesn't go against the geneva convention oh thank god um which i believe is a red circle so it doesn't go against the Geneva Convention. Oh, thank God. Which I believe is a red cross. You cannot have a red cross on things. Oh. So there was a time when the game Among Us, their med bay or something. No way.

They were in violation of the Geneva Convention. No, they weren't. And I think Stardew Valley as well for something. But so I think when Among Us or one of them like updated their game. I didn't know that. They made the update like no longer in violation of the geneva convention or something what a win in their update notes it was so funny um well funny is one thing but yeah so yeah don't use a red cross for things because

that's a very specific use case that uh you you should not be using outside what about the red crossed exactly that's the point. That's like the problem. It's like they could use it, especially like in times of war or something. I don't know all of the fucking... I'm so glad you're here to teach us about the Geneva Convention. You're welcome. It's just a little fact.

Okay, that might be wrong. One star review of this plus size nurse heartbreaker costume sent in by Mia, titled Buyer Beware. I just received my outfit and it came to me worn and had stains of blood, vomit, sweat and lipstick. Oh, why are you? I am appalled and I'm sending back and I'm sending back. We will see how they make this right.

After I will light it and bleach it in my sink. And I was like, like okay you're exaggerating there's like so there's a lipstick clearly lipstick everything looks like sweat like they're clear sweat stains and i don't know what actually if there is actual vomited blood but like the sweat stains there are color nasty discoloration that shouldn't be happening it just baffles me like i know people get really frustrated when places like Spirit Halloween won't let you return a costume, but I can see why. Like, if you're going out drinking or to a party wearing one of these and then you try to return it. Yeah.

I mean, Jesus. But, yeah, like, look at these images. It's just, like, people, like, sharing. Oh, my Lord. It's just like people like sharing. Oh my Lord. And I'm sure like a lot of them are just like, they're helpful and they're explaining how it fits them and their,

their, their dimensions or whatever, like how they, how it fits them and like how it looks on there. But some of them, I'm just like, you're just like really just showing off here, which is fine. But on Amazon reviews,

it's such a specific place for it. It's so funny. But this is what Mia said in the email saying there were multiple reviews of the costume arriving with straight stains but this one was the most descriptive slash disgusting and sure enough like i looked because i had to go in there anyway to get the link it was gross there are so many people talking about that and then the yellowish like sweat stains are nasty and then mia, I think someone might have attempted actual surgery while wearing this. Attempted is the key word. And I was like, man, I couldn't have come up with that on the spot.

So I'm glad you said that in your email, Mia. That's pretty clever. I love when we have still jokes from our listeners. Okay, so I have another negative review of- Email us at jokes at beach2sandy at gmail.com. This is from Jamie as well of the Jungleman costume, cheetah print one size sexy, blah, blah, blah.

So three star by DM. Jamie was busy in this lecture. IP law lecture. I should go to some lectures. Maybe I'll get some work done for once. I always got the most work done at my internships or places where I was just kind of sitting around and forced to be there. I never went to a lecture.

Okay, I should have. Go to school, kids. Go to your classes. Otherwise, don't be like me. Look what you'll turn out to be. Look at me. Six terabytes of strangers photos on your phone. All right, here's a review.

Three stars. And it's called Too Small to Hold the Merchandise. Verified purchase. Pouch is way too small, especially for the friend I bought it for. Hmm, what can I say? Make the pouch larger. Significantly larger. End of review.

And I wrote here, why is everyone buying this for other people? Yeah, interesting. This is the second review that was like, I bought this for someone else. Yeah. Unless they're making a joke like, the friend I bought it for needs a bigger pouch. But still. That is kind of funny. What about this screams.

Buy this for someone? I'm feeling generous. No, that man is feeling generous. Okay, well. I don't know. I think everything is screaming generosity. You got me there. Is that what you say? Everything's screaming generosity. That's my there. Is that what you say?

Everything's screaming generosity. That's my pickup line? At the Storp Club. Gentleman's Club. She was screaming generosity. She offered a lap dance. I said, wow, you're just screaming generosity. That's what she said.

And then she told me I had to pay. And I said, I'm not screaming generosity. And I left. Well, you didn't exactly leave. You were removed from. Never there to begin with. Never been to a strip club. Me neither.

Sigh. No one takes me. I'll take you. No, I will not. Please don't. I will not. I'm out. I will not.

Okay. This next one is actually of some lingerie that i thought was a costume i did this late at night i had opened a bunch of tabs and i just went straight i didn't look at the costumes and i i searched for costumes so this was in the search but i opened all these and i finally found a review and it was like the last page and i was like oh thank god another review because i was struggling so much and was of this lingerie that I thought was a costume. Anything can be a costume if you put your mind to it. This one feels weird to be on my phone though. Avid love women's lingerie lace baby doll strap

chemise? C-H-E-M-I-S-E. Sounds right. I don't know. Mesh sleepwear outfits. Can I see it? I mean it looks like it's part of a cost i mean like people were wearing very extra like yeah it's it it it doesn't look like it's like your natural just sleep a bunch of different colors oh you know why i clicked on it i think it was this one was like a snow white coloring that looks like that's what okay i'm glad we got to the bottom of this because i was like i feel like i didn't just click on a random thing there's even wedding sleepwear yeah that's what it looks like like say for your honeymoon but i think i saw this because there were some sexy snow white costumes and there's

this like lingerie that's uh blue red and yellow. And I think that was there. Anyway, so let me read the review that I found of this lingerie. This is a one-star review titled, I am unable to rate this product with a verified purchase. I am unable to rate this product since my dogs got to the package before I did and ate the lingerie. No. I was very disappointed and no it's just pooping yet lace yeah they got pink the color pink oh my lord imagine the dogs going finally my favorite snack some pink lingerie lingerie um yum yum the thing is though why is this the business's fault

why did they get a one star review because your dog you're like oh I couldn't rate this so I'm gonna give it one star maybe and I'm very disappointed because my dogs ate it someone spilled peanut butter on it someone spilled blood vomit sweat cum stains and peanut butter on it

they just spilled cum stains like why do they have all these things like able to be spilled because at the fertility lab it was Halloween costume day and the lab tech said I'll be sexy snow white today

oopsies oopsies what? I'm wearing my six inch heels and I spilled this gum all over. And someone presumably puked seeing that happen because it's disgusting. They did. They puked right on their own. And they puked and then some, where did the blood come from? Well, the slip in the vomit.

And then where's the sweat stains from? This is a very high stress day think about the cortisol yeah you just wow you have an answer for everything i sure do i'm so impressed i sure do okay this one was sent in by francesca she her um now she wrote in the subject naughty halloween costumes i guess it's naughty. It's a person. It's an inflatable toilet. I don't know. It's called adult party poop.

Maybe she misunderstood naughty and thought like poopy talk is like a no-no. I don't know. I don't know. Okay. Adult party pooper. Inflatable costume. I don't think it's appropriate to be on a toilet in public like like at home depot or something so yeah i guess it can count as naughty i don't i wouldn't say that's naughty though okay or particularly sexy not that that i don't find it sexy but i guess that's what i guess in bar is. In my mind, we meant more sexy, but I like it.

I'm not, sorry, to be clear, I very much approve of this review being read. Okay. Thank you so much for your approval. You're so welcome. This is a five-star review submitted by Quinn four years ago. The title is, I want to poo-poo and pee-pee. It's called I Want a Poo-Poo, Pee-Pee, and it's five stars. This poo-poo, pee-pee costume impressed all the guests and all the girls wanted to sit on my toilet seat.

Grimace emoji. I'd highly suggest buying this costume. Bottom line. No, I would not recommend to a friend. 55 people found this helpful. Who? All the girls want to sit on my toilet seat. Imagine seeing this and being like, ooh la la.

I literally can't. That is the stupidest looking costume i've ever seen in my life so dumb i love it for the joke but man i i don't think that's necessarily a crowd pleaser you know apparently it was i'm surprised i'm surprised oh man all the girls brought all the girls in um to be fair i'd probably rather get hit on by someone in a toilet thing than like a sexy priest costume. No, true. For what it's worth, like maybe I can see it that way, but I wouldn't look at that and go, oh, man, that's hot. It's an inflatable toilet.

Maybe some people would. I don't know. Clearly. You know, I'm going to believe this reviewer and say that everyone was all over that toilet. My next one is from Yandy.com. Now, if that toilet had all these stains on it, I wouldn't understand. Oh, dear God. It's just confusion. Mass confusion.

All these people were all over the toilet because they were sick. They were puking. They thought it was a real toilet. Well, yeah. You break the seal at a party, the bathroom's locked. That's why he wore it. That's what he wanted. He wanted the pee-pee and poo-poo.

That's right. He got it. Yikes. I hate that. And then he sent it back to Amazon. And then they sent it to their dry cleaner. The first person that- A.K first person aka that reviewer yeah of course um my next one's from yandy.com they have a lot of sexy halloween costumes among other things i

suppose but they have a product called yandy nicest-oh. Do you know what that might be? Nicest neighbor. Is this like a knockoff thing? Yep. Flanders? Good guess. Sexy Flanders. That's a thing, though. I don't know what it is.

Oh, girl next door? No. Oh, I don't know. Mr. Rogers. Ew! Are you fucking kidding me right now? No. No. No. No.

No. Jail. Jail. Straight to jail. I love it. Now, if someone was wearing this at a party, I'd be like, let me talk to them. And let me find, lead them to Jesus, please. No.

They're holding. Oh, is someone dressed as sexy Jesus at this party? Oh, I forgot to tell you. I will introduce you to the sexy neighbor i mean you guys it's so funny it's a woman in this costume it looks sort of like sexy librarian style but it's meant to be like mr rogers sexy like oh my god like these crazy booty shorts a cardigan with a tie wait there's a wig you can get with it or something. Is that what that is? Mr. Rogers wig.

And a gray wig. And she's, the worst, the most egregious of all is that she's holding the puppets from the show. Like, let me see the puppets. It's Daniel, isn't that the tiger? Yeah, but it's like a knockoff Daniel Tiger and Prince Wednesday or King whatever. Yeah. This is nuts.

It's so funny. Here's the description. The tie like goes through a cleavage. I love it. Won't you be my neighbor? No. Entice your friends next door with your playful puppets. Suit up with a necktie.

That is perverted. Hold on. Someone made a good point later that I'm excited to tell you. Suit up with a necktie and be the friendliest next door neighbor in town in this exclusive nicest neighbor costume featuring a red top with a V neckline, long fitted sleeves, a white detachable collar with a black necktie and matching high-waisted gray shorts with belt loops. Oh, hand puppets, wig, belt and socks not included. Oh, come on. So, yeah, that's kind of funny. Hand puppets, wigs, belt and socks. I guess the shoes are included somehow. Okay. I don't think that's kind of funny. Hand puppets, wigs, belt, and socks.

I guess the shoes are included somehow? Okay. I don't think that's true, though. Anyway, here is a review. Disrespectful on so many levels. While I usually like Yandy for their products and cute clothes, this is not cute or sexy. This is disrespectful. Fred Rogers was a beloved icon for kids, and here you are trying to sexualize and tarnish Mr. Rogers with this crap.

Sorry, Yandy, you have sunk to a new low, and I will not buy this. End of review. No one told you to buy this. Whatever. So that had 61 likes and 102 dislikes. This was a very, very- Oh, it's a contentious. Yes.

This is polarizing. Yes. I mean, I'm not that mad about it. Oh, I know. I think I'm kind of like super icked out by it, but whatever. Like, I don't care that much. Yep. Okay, what's the good point?

Well, it's another review. It's my last review. So do you want to go first? I'll go again before. This is called, so this is sent in by Maddie Sheher. And this is Fun World. Okay, I want to know if you can guess what this is. Okay.

Fun World Men's Keep Up the Faith One Size Costume. Fun Men's World? What? Sorry, Fun World is just the name of the brand. Oh, Fun World Men's Keep Up the Faith. One Size Fits All Costume. Pope? What? Sorry, Fun World is just the name of the brand. Oh, Fun World. Men's Keep Up the Faith. Keep Up the Faith. One size fits all costume. Pope?

Huh? The Pope? So it is a priest with a boner. How would I know that that's what that means? Well, because Keep Up the Faith. Wink. Still. Keep it up.

I don't know. I don't know. I thought maybe you'd figure it out. Okay, so. I feel like I'd come up with something better. A priest with a. Immaculate erection or something. I don't know. I don't know. I thought maybe you'd figure it out. Okay. I feel like I've come up with something better. A priest. Immaculate erection or something. I don't know.

Cardinal sin number. Two. 69. I don't know. 69. That's good. Anything better. So this is.

Also, I love that since Maddie sent screenshots, it shows her. Look. Deliver it to Maddie and then like her zip code. And I wish I could actually click it because that would be very funny. Okay. Two stars. Verified purchase by Parker.

Title is Pump is cheap. Chinese crap. Review says Boner don't work. End of review. Oh, that's it? Pump is cheap. Chinese crap. Boner don't work. End of review. Oh, that's it? Pump is cheap Chinese crap. Boner don't work.

Boner don't work. Which, like, then you just have a piece of it. Go talk to someone about that. There are options. Black fabric. Yeah. That's hilarious. The fact that it's a pump is outrageous to me.

That's so funny. Like, couldn't you just wear, like, a... Whatever. Why am I trying to redesign this costume? I don so funny. Like, couldn't you just wear, like, a... Whatever. Why am I trying to redesign this costume? I don't know, but... That reminds me of one of my... I feel like I talked about this costume before, but I had, like, the Scream mask.

I never watched Scream ever. Me neither. It still happened. I didn't even know what it was when you got it. I just knew it was scary. But I have this mask, and you pump... You can, like, squeeze a little pump, and blood would, like, flow through the mask.

Ew, I don't remember that. Yeah, it it was pretty it was pretty cool at the time i was like dang this is the coolest thing ever where did you even get that i have no idea spirit halloween probably so your turn okay this is my last one this is of that same mr rogers sexy Mr. Rogers costume, five stars. Jail, again, I just want to reiterate. And the title is Take a Chill Pill. This is absolutely adorable. Can't wait to wear it. Not sure why the holy rollers have such an issue with this costume, except that they have no sense of humor and feel the need to impose their cockamamie views on the rest of liberal society.

They have no issues with a sexy disney princess costume lol going to wear this with pride maybe even year-round end of review okay i hope they don't wear it year-round uh yeah like i'm not saying it's the best thing it's but no i just thought it was funny they were like oh yeah the disney princesses. I'm like, yeah, you know, people don't really like. There's so many like kids, like originally kids intended media that has been sexualized. And I'm not saying it's all good. It should happen. And that's an excuse to keep it happening. But I'm like, whatever.

I mean, you're right. It's just a costume. I don't know. It's just probably because it's an old man. Honestly, just a sexy like version of a white, old white man. I'm like, what? Like of all people, it seems the least egregious like events compared to some of the like Disney princesses that have like the like sexy Jasmine stuff, I think is much more like bad for other

reasons. I mean, I will say. Mr. Rogers. Mr. Rogers never wore a crop top though and jasmine sure did there's automatically a built you got you got me there you know you got me there actually you don't know that i mean i'm mr rogers i feel like back in the day you know when it was like made more sense for men to wear you know they in those old horror movies and they have like short shorts and crop tops the guys like the jocks maybe mr rogers had that in his youth so you don't know you can't say that you cannot say that

he did not wear crop tops yeah but you don't know that you did say as an old man so i feel like that was kind of i'm not saying what if i dress as a young mr rogers that's maybe that's kind of what this is a young sexy mr rogers outfit that's all it is what's wrong with that okay rogers in a crop top how sooner don't search for that please just came up with pictures of this all of this costume see wait and there's so many articles about it like usa today mr rogers gets sexy in booty shorts with Halloween costume. Consider childhood ruined. I mean, it's pretty outrageous. It's hilarious.

It's like as if you were turning Sesame Street into sexy characters, which also I find unsettling. But it's not. That's the thing. I don't think it's the same. Why? Because it's an old man that you're pretending to be. Exactly. Like a character, though though from a preschool show i don't know man i find it very weird i mean it's funny

like my the most convincing point i heard was like have a sense of humor which i'm like okay fair like it's kind of i mean it's funny's funny. It's ridiculous. I don't know. Okay, here is a one-star review of the Keep Up the Faith Cardinal Sin No. 69 Immaculate Erection. Immaculate Erection one. Costume. See, like that. Okay. How is Mr. Rogers' costume, like, more of a bad thing than that?

Well, I don't think anyone's arguing that. Oh, no, that's what I like why is that like i don't know that's all i'm like i don't know all these because that is like it feels so sacred like from from you know but exactly that's what people think about that is that it feels so sacred yeah and it's fucking weird but it's funny and it's stupid it's like whatever it's just a costume yeah i guess i just i know it's it's i guess it's funny and it's stupid. It's like whatever. It's just a costume. Yeah, I guess. I know. I guess it's funny. I don't find it very funny, but I can see why it'd be amusing to some people, I suppose. I mean, we laughed at it. I mean, it's ridiculous.

Yes, exactly. Yeah. Just like that. Yes. It's ridiculous. Yeah. One star offensive to Catholics. How can you sell something like this?

It's almost sacrilegious joking about this. Okay, I would argue, even though I don't care that it is, this is factually sacrilegious, no? Actually it is. Yeah, I would say. Like, they're not going hard enough if they... I agree. If you're going to go for it, just, like, go all in, you know? It's almost sacrilegious joking about this.

Yes, priests are imperfect human beings. We do get erection. No, I can't say that. Yes, priests are imperfect human beings. But the great majority try to be a good example. And you're just mocking them here. I bet you wouldn't make a similar costume mocking muslims jews etc okay end of review most of them said that that you make this about a ridiculous argument because

you know that those exist of course they exist uh yeah so i feel sexy i'm i'm searching sexy rabbi right now. Sexy rabbi costume. Yeah. This picture is upsetting me. I'm going to scroll past it. They're not enough. I just see an adult rabbi costume. Oh, wow. So maybe it really isn't.

Okay. This one, there's one that looks kind of, someone's looking kind of sexy in a rabbi costume. So I don't know. Sexy imam costume stop oh never mind that's just getting that's just getting i don't like this okay jasmine offensive stuff i was talking about yeah what did you expect was gonna come up with sexy mom i don't know like something really tasteful not necessarily that's not what i was looking i wasn't looking for something for myself i know but you seemed surprised that it was uh uncomfortable to look at

so here is uh my comment on this i like that they're saying yes you're correct priests aren't perfect and i'm like okay nobody's is even talking hashtag not all priests hashtag not all priests but they all try almost all of them they try not to have erections and you know it's like okay nobody said that you're making it weird uh like it's a priest with a boner it's so stupid it's like why are we upset i don't know. It's so stupid. It's a waste of time to get mad at. It's so stupid. This was also for Maddie. I believe this is the women's sexy bad habit nun costume.

Now that's a good title. That's a good title. And this is also like a very. That looks like they put effort into that costume. Creative costume. And like if someone's wearing that, I'd be impressed. This was like a big hit. People, a lot of people wore this.

And this is Tess's review. It's a verified purchase. Five stars. Titled, Great Costume. Looked really sharp on my teen daughter. What I liked is that the costume fit well and covered all that needs covering. She's not allowed to look hoochie ever, and this came across as provocative rather than the usual female costume that is sexualizing the female she wears women's size 10 and this size fit perfectly but she did wear shorts underneath

too just to feel covered enough i admit the price was high for our family budget but this teen helped with the price end of review wow um um seeing that photo i did not think that a mom would buy that for a teen. I'm not judging. I'm just, uh, I'm kind of surprised and weirdly impressed by it. Yeah. I mean, it's really not that revealing. I don't think if you picture it, it's like a kind of mini skirt, uh, scenario, corset scenario with like crosses on it and then knee highs over the knees, socks.

Like I think you, it doesn't have to be sexy. It could be like badass, like none stuff. I mean, I think it's inherently a sexy costume. It's like a skin tight mini dress. But yeah, and it's, yeah.

I just was so thrown by this because I thought like this must be fake. And then I looked at their profile. It's certainly not fake. And I love that she's like, thank God she doesn't look hoochie today. Well, I've never, have I? I feel like I've never heard that. As, like, when I think hooch, isn't it like, like.

Toilet wine? Toilet wine, yeah. Yeah. Hoochie's,'s like promiscuous. In context, I guess that made sense. I just... You've never heard that. I know. Huh.

Well... Oh, a hoochie is a young woman who has many casual sexual partners or who dresses or behaves in a sexually provocative way. I mean, that's not nice. Well, yeah. From the 1980s, Origin Uncertain. Yeah, I feel like it's something you would say in like the, in like an 80s, like New York set.

Hoochie Coochie is a catch-all term to describe several sexually provocative belly dance-like dances from the mid to late 1800s. Okay. Last time I used hoochie-coochie was not in that context. Huh? What is that supposed to mean? The last time you used hoochie-coochie? Use the phrase hoochie-coochie.

Oh, okay. I used the belly dance. The belly dance. This is also from Maddie. It's the women's slash juniors Heinz logo ketchup and mustard tank dress Halloween cosplay. It is a red tank dress that says Heinz tomato ketchup on it. Modeled by someone who does not want to be a ketchup bottle. She looks pissed off. I don't blame her.

This is another redemption. Five stars by Sharon. Verified purchase. Titled Curvy Ketchup. Almost as good as the colorful ketchup they used to have. Oh, the green ketchup. Oh, yeah. Good times.

Oh, man. That was so gross. That was like the time when, looking back, I'm like, man, that was probably as far as signs will let us go in that direction. Because I feel like now probably that's outlawed. They ruined it for everyone. They hit the scene with that and we were not ready for it. We were not ready. I think if they had waited for a better time, maybe society would have been more gracious.

Yeah. At the time, it was- It hit too early and it ruined it for everyone. Shattered. Groundbreaking. All right. So Sharon wrote, five stars. Love it.

My husband thinks it's sexy. I look like a bottle of ketchup. That's why your husband thinks it's sexy. I know. It's like, oh um okay he doesn't look at me just spends all his time by the grill until i wore this costume love it my husband thinks it's sexy i look like a bottle of ketchup. Small in the middle. Curvy waist down. Husband was like, where's the mustard? LOL. End of review.

That's funny. I love that. That's cute. That's cute. There are some really cute ones. The romance. It's so silly. And I will say one of the Mr. Rogers costume things was like, my husband loves it.

10 out of 10. This was his favorite show. He learned how to read watching this. Maybe that's what part of it is to me. Like, it's Tim's favorite show, like as a kid. And he like adored Mr. Roger. So it makes me feel really weird. Like, I do not have a connection to Mr. Rogers.

Like, my daughter watches Daniel Tiger and my stepfather loved Mr. Rogers. I don't really want to think about it in a sexualized way. So thank you for making me. You're welcome. Many times. But yeah, no, I agree. I could see that same thing with the priest thing. If you have a connection with a priest, you're like, oh, this feels shitty to see.

But like, I don't know. I tried to come up with an example that maybe I'd feel the same way. But like, I don't know. I tried to come up with a, an example that I, maybe I'd feel the same way, but like, I don't know. I feel like I don't feel strongly connected to anything from childhood enough to like feel it's weird. I don't get me wrong. I thought it weird.

Tell me more about that. No, let's go back to. I just had therapy yesterday. I can't do this. Let's go back to, you don't feel connected to anything in your childhood. Oh, what about green ketchup so sexy i wanted sexy though oh that's weird curvy ketchup curvy green ketchup the curvier the better yeah the greener and curvier the better that's what i always say

the relish i gotta watch shrek again where's the horseradish i do love horserad Where's the horseradish? I do love horseradish. I love horseradish. So anyway, should I do my challenge? Yeah, I was gonna say, you closed your iPad and I'm like, does she know it's her challenge? Because I am not prepared to bring anything to the table other than talking about green Kirby ketchup. This is my challenge. Did you come up with it or was it sent in by someone? I came up, wait, what does it say?

From Zandy? No, it doesn't say anything. Then it's from me. Okay. So this is a challenge. But someone might have said it. Sorry. Like, sorry.

I just, I was like, oh, this sounds like a good Halloween challenge in my head. Oh, so, but you thought. But I did come up with it, but it might have'm sure some people said suggested it okay well it's basically to find reviews where someone claims to be to have been touched by a spirit by a ghost so the first email i have is from izzy uh so they sent in a review of the 1886 crescent hotel and spa in eureka springs arkansas and this Spa in Eureka Springs, Arkansas. And this is a five out of five review on Google from two years ago. Very nice workers. Love the pet cat and love

both ghost tours. First time I went, I was looking around at pictures and reading the history. Got touched by a spirit for the first time in my life. It was so real, I thought it was my parents. Wait, are your parents alive? Are your parents there? I'm confused.

They got touched by a ghost. Dad? Is that you? No, ma'am, you're standing a little too close to the artwork. I've been told to escort you off the premises. I was looking around at pictures and reading the history, got touched by a spirit for the first time in my life. It was so real, I thought it was my parents. But no one was around, and my parents just walked in the door. Second time going was in April of this year.

Didn't get touched, though, but went on the extended 10 p.m. tour, got lots of evidence on film and pictures. I stayed in room 209. This place is every paranormal investigator's dream the morgue is flowing with orbs it's like it's snowing orbs and you would see one everywhere i mean i think that's dust i'm sorry i'm not like an orb person i am not either i find a lot of the like photography things are so easily explainable by other things that I cannot. And when they're not, it's like.

The conscience be like, agree that things are. That's Photoshop. If it's too obvious, I'm like, that's Photoshop. Yeah. Or it's just like lenses are fucking weird. Lighting is fucking weird. Yeah. Dust exists.

I don't know. I agree. I think I'm not anti-paranormal stuff. I'm not saying that. But orb stuff. I'm glad saying that, but orb stuff. I'm glad you said that. Well, it's like if you're in the morgue at an old hotel from the 1800s. I imagine.

Anyway, this place is every investigator's dream. The morgue is flowing with orbs. It's like it's snowing orbs and you would see one everywhere you went on camera. I'm a paranormal investigator. I'm leader of the Wichita's paranormal power rangers i love i know paranormal power rangers so clever that's so fucking cool i love it talk about ip which color jamie are they gonna get sued for that true is each person a different like color power ranger i would love that i hope so oh. Oh, I love the Power Rangers. I am.

Oh. Sexy Power Ranger. Does that bother you? No. Okay. It excites me. Okay. All right.

Well, I didn't want to know that. I'll be that next year. I'm a paranormal investigator. I'm leader of the Wichita's Paranormal Power Rangers. This place is not your ordinary haunted hotel. Right when you walk in, you get a bolt of energy right away. Everything goes quiet. And you don't have to be a psychic medium to feel something. Not like other hotels that may be haunted, but not active all the time or right away.

If I could, I would live there. Oh. I'm like, that is famous last words if you're in a haunted old hotel. Don't say I want to live here forever. She didn't say forever, but don't say I want to live here. Nothing good could come of this. That's like how you end up cursed to haunt that place. Oh, we heard you.

We'll drag you in. Welcome to the morgue. The depths of the morgue. It's always snowing orbs in here. You're an orb now. And then two podcasters will talk about how you don't actually exist as an orb. How does it feel? How does it feel? How does it feel?

Hopefully your Power Ranger friends will come and save the day. Wow. I never really watched that show. That sounded exactly like that one villain from that show. He's a mouse. I was thinking of a woman, but yes. Wait, no, the mouse is from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I don't know what mouse you're talking about.

Splinter. The mouse is not a villain. It's not a mouse. He's a rat, I think. Then I was being the penguin from Batman. Totally. This is also from Izzy. It's a review of Myrtle's Plantation in St. Francisville, Louisiana.

Five out of five stars. By the way, people love to get touched by these ghosts. It's their favorite thing, in case you're wondering. I feel like, yeah, if you're talking about being touched by a ghost, it's usually because you believe that it's a ghost. And so therefore you're going to be positive about it. That makes sense to me. There was one at the end that I'm ending on that is not the same attitude about getting touched by a ghost. Okay.

This is Waverly Hills five stars by amanda oh wait no sorry waverly place waverly hills okay myrtle's plantation first i accidentally skipped this one myrtle's plantation and that's what you said the first time okay i see sorry in saint francisville, Louisiana. Five out of five. Loved it. Great place to visit and experience. Husband was touched by unseen hands. Wish we could have stayed longer. End of review. Yikes.

So my husband could get touched a little more. We added a third to our party, to our reservation. It's just like when Dee was wearing that ketchup thing and I was like, where's the mustard? The party's not complete without a mustard. It's so weird. Where's the mustard? That's why when you saw that sexy Mr. Rogers, you said, where's Daniel Tiger? Where's Daniel Tiger?

Bring him in here and then we'll really get things moving. Okay, great place to... No, no, no, I didn't say that. Great place to visit and experience. So, Unseen Hands. There were a couple ways't say that. Great place to visit and experience. So Unseen Hands. There were a couple of ways people said this. That's a good band name.

Touched by a spirit. Touched by unseen hands. Touched by unseen hands. What a cool band name. Sounds like a Christian band. So true. You're so right. Touched by the Holy Spirit.

I take it all back. Yeah. Oh my God. That's the most Christian... Yeah. Holy shit. You're right. This. Yeah. Oh my God, that's the most Christian. Yeah. Holy shit, you're right. This was also sent in by Izzy. It's a review of Waverly Hills Sanatorium

in Louisville, Kentucky. Is that where Waverly plays? Yeah. Got it, same? It is. Cool. Five stars. I went on my first two-hour tour

of Waverly last night and had an amazing time. My small group of five girls had a blast and we loved our tour guide Chelsea. She made the experience fun and helped us bond with the spirits. Like with icebreakers. I don't know. Trust falls. Trust falls. Oh god. A couple of us became spirits when the spirits didn't catch us in our trust falls. Now we live here forever. Yay. the spirits didn't catch us and our trust falls. Now we live here forever.

Yay. I volunteered to be put in the refrigeration unit. This is the most, and that's why we drink listener. Me, me, me. And host bullshit ever. I would like to be in the refrigeration unit. It's me. I would for sure volunteer to. I volunteered to be put in the refrigeration unit,

and within the first minute, I was touched. I had to make her get me out, but I would do it again in a heartbeat. Now I know what to expect. I can't wait to do an overnight tour and will definitely be requesting Chelsea. Thanks again to her, the staff, and the previous patients. I didn't read that. I didn't like catch that until now.

Thanks again to her, the staff, and the previous patients and staff of the hospital. Oh, hey, putting that positive energy out there. Thanks again to her, the staff, and the previous patients and staff of the hospital. Oh. Like, the dead ones. Hey, putting that positive energy out there. Sure. It's like. But also, like, thanks for haunting me.

Yeah. I don't know. Thanks for touching me. Thanks for being, thanks for dying here so I can have a good time with Chelsea. Yikes. I appreciate what you went through so that I could go on this tour and be touched. Because it benefited me so much. Thanks again to her, the staff, and the previous patients and staff of the hospital that helped me live out a dream I've had since I was a kid. Ghost emoji, black heart emoji.

Like, I think they meant it in the most respectful way possible. I don't think they meant anything bad, but it is silly to think about it. When I first read it, I felt like, oh, thanks again to the staff. I, like, didn't think about it. And then I read it and I said, oh, the patients. The ones who died here and were probably treated very terribly there. I don't know the history there. No, it's a sanatorium for tuberculosis, not a sanatorium.

Okay. Oh, my bad. Oh, God, I didn't know that was the difference. Yeah, I learned that. It's a lot of Adirondack chairs. Sanatorium, yeah. So still people who were suffering greatly. Itack chairs. Sanatorium, yeah. And I mean, they probably weren't- So still people who were suffering greatly, I'm sure.

It was not a good time, yeah. And also they have body shoots there. Body shots? Body, yaddy, yaddy shots. They have body shoots because they didn't want people to see how many people were dying. They're called slides, Christina. Shoots and ladders? Where have you been?

Body ladders and body chutes. Body chutes and ladders. Where they would discreetly dispose of the bodies so that people didn't know how many people were dying there. So there's definitely shady shit. Yeah, okay. But it's not like a... It wasn't... I see, I see.

Asylum. I mixed them. I did have that in my head so i see yeah okay so this is from chloe she they uh it's a review of zach bagan's haunted museum been there done that been there done that touched that okay five stars worth one of the inspirations for our podcast for this podcast isn't that meta five stars worth the trip wink face is what it's called this is by andrew from calgary canada uh haunted museum worth the trip it was absolutely fantastic we paid for the upgrade it was worth it i did have a paranormal experience while i was there when i I walked into the... Oh. I forgot. There's a trigger warning for

PTD because PTD is a doll whose name I don't say anymore because every time I do, all the electronics malfunction. Can I say it? Sure. When I typed in PTD on Google, it comes up with me and that's why we know it doesn't it does yeah oh no don't tell me what it says oh okay you want to say so peggy the doll

okay i only know robert the doll yeah okay so i i i wasn't familiar with peggy hi peggy appreciate you you met peggy or at least I did. Oh, I guess I did meet her, too. I did have a paranormal experience while I was there. When I walked into the Peggy room, they suggested- The Pegging room? No one told me that was there. You're really going to haunt us.

Jesus. That explains so much about that one room. I'm sorry. Oh, boy. Okay. Anyway, anyway. Continue. when i walked into the peggy was right before the kevorkian existed alexander i'm sorry what a fucked up place that was so fucked up okay they suggested you don't look into her eyes when i walked in i saw the doll gave it a death stare right in the eyes.

What's wrong with people? That's so funny. It's the one that they attach to a spirit box. Oh, yeah. So it'll be like, and it'll like say words. And I blew it a kiss. Yeah. And mooned it. Okay.

When I walked in, what if I wear a sexy PTD costume? Then I'm really going to be haunted for the rest of my life. When I walked in, I saw the doll. Gave it a death stare right in the eyes. When I came out the room, my back was facing a wall and I could feel hands on my shoulders. It was very awkward.

My wife asked me what was up because she saw me squirming. Was a fantastic experience. Would get possessed again. End of review. Nice. So that's weird um i am concerned that we said her name but it's i'll do it again don't do it again i won't it

seems like it's fine right now we'll see sometimes people get nosebleeds hey i get that remember that time i had one without us doing anything, but you probably said something like equally cursed. I don't know what it was, but it was probably something ridiculous. I think I was just laughing really hard or something. Oh, maybe. Which, yeah, I shouldn't laugh. Probably not. Okay, five stars.

This is another one of Zach Bagans' Haunted Museum. Completely worthwhile by Seth. My sister and I went to the Haunted Museum for the R.I.P. tour on 410. We both had experiences that we won't soon forget. Both of us felt weakness in our legs in the Kevorkian office. We're both grabbed on our shoulders in the van room. And the spirit box near Peggy the doll said my daughter's name after I said, please don't follow me home. My daughter.

You just said her name. I know. Oh, okay. I thought you weren't going to say it again. Well, I'm just saying in the context of the review. It's fine if you're reading someone's words. No, it's not fine. I'm just saying, don't say it in like a mockery way.

I wasn't mocking Peggy. Okay. Nothing against her. Okay. We're both grabbed on our shoulders in the van room and the spirit box near PTD said my daughter's name after I said. The van room? Isn't that the Kevorkian room? I'm not kidding.

Isn't that the Kevorkian room? It's the one where that guy tortured all those people. Oh, never mind. I thought Kevorkian had a van too. He did. And that van was in that museum? Yeah, it was. And then there was.

There were multiple van rooms? I think there was another room with a van in it that was where he would like Yeah, it was. There were multiple van rooms? I think there was another room with a van in it that was where he would torture people. It was disturbing. Yikes. Anyway, what happened in the van room? We were both grabbed

on our shoulders in the van room, and the spirit box near PTD said my daughter's name after I said, please don't follow me home my daughter has enough of invisible friends that's kind of funny as we grew up around the paranormal we found the collection to be interesting and respectfully displayed did she really just gloss or did they really just gloss over the fact that this doll said their child's name when she said, please don't come home with me. And she said, oh, to see little Anna. Yikes, that's scary.

What? Yeah. They just kind of like, or like, ha ha, this happened. I guess so. Weird. As we grew up around the paranormal, we found the collection to be interesting

and respectfully displayed. I will warn you though, make sure that you know ahead of time there's a possibility of taking home an unexpected souvenir. As of returning home last night, we're locals. My sister has experienced quite a bit of paranormal activity in her apartment, from doors opening to electric toothbrushes turning on by themselves and her desk chair spinning on its own. PTD is like, wee! Yeah, sounds fun. What does this button do?

Yeah, it's a good time. Where's Anna? You said she'd be here with all her invisible friends. Turning on by themselves in her desk chair spinning on its own. We will still come back just with sage spray to use in the parking lot afterwards. Oh, good. Good call. End of review.

Whatever sage spray is. I've never heard of that. Lysol has a afterwards. Oh, good. Good call. End of review. Whatever sage spray is. I've never heard of that. Lysol has a version. It's a... Sage scent. No, it's a... It's a... Oh, my God.

What is her name? Peggy? Stop it. No. Martha? Martha Stewart? No. What are those sprays?

The soaps? Poopery. Myers. Mrs. Myers. Oh, Mrs. Myers. Mrs. Myers sage. Special edition sage. You know, I wait. I could see that actually exist. what are the sprays the soaps poopers mrs meyers oh mrs meyers mrs meyers sage special edition you know i wait i could see that be actually existing yeah yeah i mean there's one called acorn so what the fuck that's what i have what does acorn smell like it's really nice kind of like fall woodsy's nutty squirrelyly. Squirrely. Here is a final review.

This is... I'm sorry. Did you just get possessed or something? What was that noise? I don't know. My throat's making really scary sounds. Okay. Do you know what it feels like?

Like I ate Pop Rocks. It feels like tingling in my... I'm sorry. I don't know what that was. PTD? Please don't hurt me. Please don't. Okay.

This is what I called a comfort in ghost story. Or maybe that's what Chloe called it. I don't know. Comfort in? Oh. It's a review of the comfort in. There we go. Okay.

That explains it. So I wrote end on this one. So this is my finale. Three stars. So the is my finale. Three stars. So the first not positive review of these Touched by a Ghost experiences. Three star review by Allie titled A Very Cold Room and a Ghost Experience. I'm still a bit freaked out, but I thought I'd better write about it while it's still fresh on my mind. I feel like this is like one of while it's still fresh on my mind.

I feel like this is like one of those Captain's Log, like day 368. I'd better write about it while it's still fresh on my mind. We've stayed here before as a couple and as a family and don't mind the small but seemingly clean rooms. We typically stay out all day on outdoor adventures, so this is just a place to lay our heads at night. Staff has always been really friendly and helpful. They still are. A few days ago, on our way back from Vegas, we decided to stay here after a long eight-hour drive. Oh wait, maybe they brought PTD with them. Oh yeah, it sounds like it. Sounds like that's happened multiple times. We were given room 217. Even as we walked in the room that night, something just didn't seem right. The typical light switch on the wall as you enter was missing.

I don't think that's a paranormal thing. I don't either. The light switch was missing. I'll give you abnormal, but for comfort in, maybe it's a little more normal. I don't know. It's definitely not usual, I suppose, or typical. Yeah. We we stumbled in hands on the wall trying to find a light switch it was cold so we turned on the heater we the way you're reading this like i know we're getting somewhere but the way you're reading this i'm like whoa she's saying it's haunted like okay fair this is part of the haunting i guess question mark we stumbled in hands on the wall trying to find a light switch. It was cold, so we turned on the heater.

Why is it so funny to me? I don't know. It's like, okay? So you turned on, okay, sure. We hear folks walking around up above our room. It sounded like maybe two or three sets of feet. The walking continued on, and we even talked about how late it was, and the folks upstairs were still up and walking around. After driving nonstop for about eight hours, husband was so tired he fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

I restarted the DirecTV cable after fiddling around and got it to turn on. The most boring Captain's Log ever. Is there like a big rogue wave? Have you read Moby Dick? Most Captain's Logs are so fucking boring. That's true. I need a rogue wave or an oversized squid to show up. True. Yeah. I restarted direct TV cable

after fiddling around and got it to turn on. After a few minutes of watching TV, I felt something touch me on both of my upper arms. Startled, I sat up, felt the goosebumps on my arms, and felt suddenly cold. I got up to turn up the heater. Again! Kent's still here walking around up above us, and it was almost 1.30am. I felt something brush up against my arm again as I tucked myself in.

With the bathroom light on, I saw shadows on the wall and thought it may have been a reflection from the TV. I pulled the blanket tight over my head, and then I felt something touch the blanket as though an open hand smoothed the top of it. I was trying to scream, but it felt like there was a hand on my mouth. Woke my husband crying. I was so terrified. I frantically called the front desk and asked her to come up to help. I feel like she's like, what am I going to do? Like read a bedtime story and like.

Bring some Mrs. Myers sage spray. Wait until they fall asleep before leaving. Just rock in a chair in the corner. Make sure we're falling asleep i called the front desk and asked her to come up to help i told her we needed to move out as there was something spooky going on the front desk lady came up within five minutes with keys to a new room i explained what happened and i was in tears i asked her if there was anyone above us as footsteps kept going the entire time.

She did not say, but mentioned they have a lot of construction workers that stay there at the hotel. I'm not sure what their sleeping patterns are, quote unquote. She moved us to another room and there we stayed with all lights on until daylight. I repeated my story to the front desk lady in the morning as we checked out and she told me the story about how when they first opened about seven years ago, a lady had a heart attack at that hotel, but that she didn't know which room. To which I replied, oh, I know which room. I still get goosebumps thinking about that night. Traumatized! End of review.

Room tip. Obviously, I will never stay here after this experience, but ghost enthusiasts may love it. Could you imagine if this Comfort Inn just got so much more... Turned into one of the famous old hotels. A woman died there seven years ago and is now used as a potential ghost at this Comfort Inn. Spoiler alert, people die everywhere a lot of the time i feel like people don't get that all the time and maybe it's because like in the u.s things are so much newer yeah but like people still have and have been living here for many years yeah but

like even in how like houses that are only i don't know know, 100 years only, but, you know, 100 years old. Like someone probably died there. Yeah. Not in a hospital. Even one. Yeah. And then consider what the area was before that 100 years. And it was just like, yeah. If you think about a hotel, like the number of people going in and out, I'm sure terrible things.

It's like all cruise ships have people dying all the time. Yeah. And don't get me wrong. Like, listen, I imagine I was staying at a Holiday Inn Express when I saw that weird man in the corner, on the corner of my bed. Yeah. Watching me sleep. Yeah. So I'm not saying like, hey, it's impossible. I'm just saying.

Like this one woman who died there seven years ago is probably not. I don't know. Right. I don't know. Maybe. I don't know. Maybe she is. Maybe.

I can't say for sure i think the only thing i like more than when people are like so thrilled about getting touched by ghosts are the people who are like fuck that i want nothing to do with it yeah i want to get away from it but it did happen i think those are so fun to read that's really funny you might like it but i'm never coming back like they're like i respect this for you people like you you people go enjoy your ghost but i'm staying the fuck out of it you go enjoy the the glitchy direct tv cable and the missing light switch oh also i love when they said oh that we do have a lot of construction people staying here maybe their hours are late she's like but maybe not maybe it's ghosts i'm not trying to mock her um if someone touched me in my sleep i would freak the f out understandably yeah

all righty well thanks everyone for listening we did it we'll see you next week uh thank you and uh have a happy halloween our next episode comes out November 1st. Wow. So we'll be talking to you the day after Halloween. So have a good Halloween weekend until, I don't know. I know Halloween's not on a weekend, but hopefully you're doing something fun. Wow.

You're welcome. You could be the new Mr. Rogers with the way that you interact with our listeners. And because I'm so sexy. Okay. Yeah, we'll see you uh day after halloween for a little candy hangover session talk to you then bye bye beach too sandy water too wet is a forever dog production hosted and produced by xandy and christine schieffer it's edited by marco padilla cover art by Courtney Aventura, theme music by Mavis White, executive produced by

Mariah Nicholas. Forever Dog Productions is Joe Cilio, Alex Ramsey, and Brett Boehm.