Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 258: Reviews of Hair Dye

Episode Date: November 8, 2023

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See? Purchase a 2024 Escape ST-Line all-wheel drive with Tech Pack at 3.49% APR for 72 months with down payment. That's just $267 bi-weekly, cash value of $40,294. Plus, eligible Ford owners get a $1,000 bonus. For details, visit your local Ford store or Ford.ca. Welcome to Beach to Sandy, Water to Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. Hello, everyone. Welcome to Beast You, Sandy. What or to what, the podcast where we read the worst reviews in the most dramatic fashion.

I'm Xteen. I'm Zandy. Today we're talking about hair dye. We are. But before we get started, Zandy has a very exciting announcement. That short film that I was in is out. It's out. Available to be viewed.

So I'll put the link below. Link will probably also be in my instagram bio sweet yeah we're doing a watch party she hasn't seen it yet i haven't seen it but i can guarantee your money back if you don't love it is it free unless you're patron because that i actually could give you money back but i don't want to oh okay is it free no it's it's just on youtube oh it's on youtube okay great so let me say that more confidently it's like if you don't like it i'll give you your money back okay and i did win best actor for it which was at the film festival which was so great oh it was so cute little guy i blacked out when it happened you literally there's like a photo. You look so professional.

Anyway, we're all very proud of him. So go watch the film. It'll be in the show notes. And I'll be probably sharing it on my page as well because I'm watching it tomorrow and I can't wait. Exciting. All right, Zandy. I have 86,000 reviews. Oh, dear God.

Yeah. Would you like me to go first? I'll go ahead. Oh, okay. I didn't mean to say that um i'll let you go ahead oh okay i thought you were no i did not i thought fine my brain was like oh she has a lot that means i go first which is the opposite of what we always do of how it always goes so please please go ahead this was sent in by denise it's of light mountain henna Hair Color and Conditioner Bright Red Hair Dye.

So that's... If this person complains about it being too red, I'm going to be really upset. Okay, here we go. The title is Stanky and Too Dark. One star. I bought the light brown. Oh, I see. Sorry. I guess they selected a different option.

So Amazon, I did see that with Amazon. So annoying. Why would you call it bright red hair dye? They would have like all their lines of all the different colors in one product page. Right. So you just select the option. Yeah. So then the reviews would be of, so it was like tens of thousands of reviews, but for

spread across all the different color options. You look at the photos and it's like green brown orange red yeah you know me i love looking at those amazon photos i mean i know you do weirdo this one's called light brown i bought some of them have such bizarre names and then it's just like light brown sometimes they're like unicorn magic and i'm like what? I bought the light brown mix to tone down my red hair. I know indigo is the first ingredient but my hair turned out a dark brown. My head itches and when I was washing it out it smelled like a dirty ashtray. Yuck. I thought that the smell would go away after shampooing conditioning and blow drying but I still get whiffs of the stanky

parentheses. I know it's misspelled but you have to understand it's much worse than just stinky smell i even feel like i can taste cigarettes oh wait wait why are you tasting it maybe the smell is that bad it's like a thick cloud of that stank that you can taste goes through your sinuses into your mouth. Yum. You know when people say, oh, something smells bad, just plug your nose and breathe through your mouth? Yes, it's disgusting. I can't do that because then I feel like I'm eating the best. Yes, then it feels worse.

Exactly. Nobody gets that. Every time I say that, people are like, that doesn't make any sense. That's so much worse. It is. Thank you. I'm so glad. I'd rather go in my nose than my mouth. Thank you. If someone farts, I don't want to like. Eat it?

You want to eat it? Like suck them in. I don't want to eat them. Swallow it? They want to eat the poop particles? They want to swallow my farts. That's disgusting. Ew.

Gross. Ew. Gross. Thank you. Ew. Our listeners? So gross. They're so disgusting.

You little freaks. You know, someone's thinking, you know, I would. Someone's thinking, wait a second. Why am I super interested in this? Why am I turning the volume up? Okay. I even feel like I can taste cigarettes. Gross. I like the earthy smell of pure henna and cassia and don't know if all indigo smells like this or just this brand, but I never buy it again totally not happy it wouldn't even fade when i soaked my hair with a pure coconut olive oil blend i will buy the pure ingredients next time and make my own end of review wow imagine she's gonna buy her own cigarettes smash them up into her conditioner nice ashy gray spread it spread it all over the place.

Gross. Thank you for that. Our listeners are going to buy your farts and then make their hair brown. And do what they want. It's none of my business what they decide to do with it. That's true. If you're selling it to them, that's kind of on you. That's not my problem. My next one, my first one, is of Arctic Fox Vegan and cruelty-free semi-permanent hair color dye

four fluid ounce poison is the is the one that's the main one i guess that's the name of the color it's the name of the color but there are a lot of other colors so okay but let me get this right there's a bottle 30 options that literally just says poison and then they're like anyway put this on your head that is exactly what, exactly right. That is a wild name for a product. It literally says poison. I feel like there should be some FDA rule about writing poison on something that you're supposed to use. To be fair, if you eat it, it would be probably could be poisonous.

So it's basically like those things at the back that say call poison control, but it's just like right in the front. It's just right in the front. Good for them. Yeah, that's really thoughtful. There's this picture of this lady. Dear Lord. And it's just poison next to her. Anyway, this is not a review of poison, though.

This is a review of Transylvania. Oh. What? Okay. Guess what color. Just for fun. Purple. Yeah, nice.

Oh, okay. I get it. See? See? They know what they're doing. The title is, please do not buy this product one star this has to be the worst product i have ever gotten in my life i was so excited to dye my hair in a natural way i followed the instructions very carefully with poison sorry um also like how natural. Also, how natural, quote unquote, natural is it? Just because it says vegan does not mean it's quote unquote natural.

It doesn't have eggs, so it must be very natural. It didn't get tested on animals, so it must be great for all humans. I don't know. I followed the instructions very carefully. I left the product in my hair for about two hours. When I went to rinse it out, I ended up with a blue and purple streaked bathtub and tiles, completely blue and purple arms and hands, purple streaks running down my neck and chest, blue ears, and worst of all,

one big purple streak on each of my cheeks. It sounds like. Picturing this was wild. Oh, it sounds like either Barney cosplay or like a Tobias Bluth. Okay. Okay. Okay. Nice combo of those two.

Interesting. I don't know. It's nothing really. It's the start of something. I don't think it's a fully fleshed out cosplay, but it's the start of something for sure. But it's also the start of something just inarguably bad. Like I don't think the end result is going to be enjoyable. No, no one's going to like it.

No. I was getting ready for a very important dinner and I completely freaked out. First of all, just like hot tip because I've been there. Don't make any drastic hair decisions before a big event I cut my bangs the night before prom and I think like that was on me I think I agree you know that was on you and I'm glad you brought it up because maybe now we have something to post on our Instagram oh good actually yeah there is quite mom like cut out a photo of me it's pretty great anyway I'm picturing it right now it's pretty great it doesn't matter but uh i think she puts it behind her desk to remind herself like that's why i see

it all the time yeah of like how how far you've come how no how little i've like listened to her in my life because she said please don't cut your own bangs and i did it anyway and now she's like it's like a stark reminder i see you know What happens when her kids don't listen to her? Yeah, when people don't follow her instructions. Yeah. Anyway, back to this person. I was getting ready for a very important dinner and I completely freaked out.

The streaks would not go away. I rubbed like crazy, washed my face about 10 times and even exfoliated it. And the streaks only partially came off. I ended up with a swollen, painful red face that not even makeup could cover. About half an hour later, I left my home,

headed for my important dinner, leaving a damaged bathtub and bathroom tiles, stained blue towels everywhere, and different products scattered across the bathroom in my intent to remove the horrible stains on my body. I arrived at my very important dinner with hands and arms that looked like I had bathed in a purple lake, a scarf on to cover up my neck and chest, and a horribly swollen and stained face

that made me look very ill. My hands and fingernails are still stained, and I've had to go explaining to people why I look so weird. Oh my god, Violet Beauregard. That's what I'm getting, with the red face, the swollen. Oh my God, you nailed it. I nailed it. We got there. Got it. The worst part about this whole story is that when I checked my roots,

saying to myself that at least my hair would look great, they had absolutely no dye on them. So after the nightmare of the whole process, my hair looked exactly the same. This freaking product stained everything except my hair. Oh my God. I don't know if I got a faulty one or not, but I don't care. A product like this should not be sold on Amazon. It shouldn't be sold anywhere. It is disgraceful that I have had to waste my time and money on something that made me look like a purple monster. I just about looked ready for a Halloween

party. End of review. I hope this was not written like November 5th or something. March 15th, 2017. Oh, even worse. It's like you got to wait half a year. You can't even pretend like it was from a Halloween costume. Oh boy. That's got to be rough. I do wonder this important dinner, if it really made a difference.

Because sometimes I tell myself, you know, at least it's a good story, right? I know. I said that all the time. Like if it's traumatic, if it's a bad time, at least it's a good story, right? I know, I say that all the time. Like, if it's traumatic, if it's a bad time, at least it's a good story. Make it a good story. Yeah. So hopefully, I mean, that's a pretty good story.

It is a good story. Like, I enjoyed it. And that is, I think, the best part of this theme. It just feels like people just have so many horror stories with hair dye. Even people emailing in said that. I know, and it's funny because they like lull you into like, people had used the same product for years and then they're like, and then I got

it for probably the 250th time. And suddenly it had all, they had changed one ingredient and the whole thing went. So it's like, you cannot trust any of this. And I still have stains all over my, both my bathrooms from the time that we all bleached and dyed our hair at my house um yeah good times got when i was out of town she dyed her hair again um i share a bathtub with her yeah you know what that's yeah who am i kidding i've seen what she's capable of what she's capable of um but've seen what she's capable of. But yeah, when I got my hair dyed purple, I splurged and went to a salon and had them do it because I knew if I did it myself, I'd end up with a horror story. Violet power card. Yeah. Yeah. If you're going to do it, just like do it right before Halloween and you can- That's true.

You can kind of like make do. Because like who knows what color it's going to be. You can kind of wing it. Wow, that's traumatic. This is from M, she, her. And it's also of Arctic Fox hair dyes, Andy. Nice, nice. So I'm not sure what color this is. But the notable part, according to M and also according to me, is the word count for the word virgin. Oh, boy.

Let's just have a tally, right? You don't have to actually tally it, but just take note. Take stock. Just count all the virgins. Okay. So we're counting the word virgin. Oh, you don't have to count. Take note of how often this happens.

Is this person talking about their virgin hair okay that's a little better because i'm like why this would be great for my challenge next week if not did you what was your challenge uh there are ones that like oh the story is unrelated but it's unrelated to the review okay well here we go this is called one star most helpful critical review from ulta uh virgin blondes avoid like the plague blonde sounds wild uh okay this product was an absolute nightmare use this on my virgin that's all capital by the way virgin is usually an all capital use this on my virgin all natural and very healthy dark ash blonde hair from mid-length to ends for a cool ombre effect. The color never washed out, and it's been eight months.

I've tried multiple chelating shampoos, dandruff shampoo, the vitamin C treatment, etc. You name it, I've tried to get rid of this garbage off my beautiful virgin hair. Nothing would take it completely out. No matter how hard you try, you will be left with faded out but still obvious color of the shade you chose and will end up either having to cut it off or bleach your hair with store-bought dye, which I haven't used in 10 years. So you can probably guess how royally angry I am to have used a store-bought dark ash blonde, which isn't even an exact match to my virgin shade, of course, and be back in the position to regrow my natural ash blonde again.

I'm even more appalled on how this company fails to actually warn virgin blondes, which by the way, sounds like a Viking, like yeah warn all the virgin blondes like you're going to be abducted like what in the world very alarming like warn all okay anyway i'm even more appalled on how this company fails to actually warn virgin blondes that this product does not come off our shade i even complained to arctic fox sending them a three-paragraph message as to what happened and for help. And their advisor told me if it does come off with the shampoo, then I will have to use a color remover which contains bleach. What? So you know your products don't come off virgin hair, but you don't admit it?

You just tell people to use bleach to get it off, basically, and give a very non-apologetic apology? LOL, if i had the luxury of money i would sue the pants off these people if i could give this company zero stars i would and i make sure i warn every natural blonde i know or see every blonde you know or see that's terrible cool also i love how then they say natural blonde i was gonna say so they go like now all of a sudden they've realized that they don't have to use the word virgin anymore? Yeah, I wonder if they approached people on the street the first time and said, are you a virgin blonde? Are you a virgin blonde?

And they said, I'm calling the police. And they said, oh, I meant natural. Maybe they switched their tactic. If I could give this company zero stars, I would. And I make sure I warn every natural blonde i know or see to avoid this product like the plague if you want to keep your beautiful virgin blonde shade don't do it end of review wow that was a lot if you don't know i googled it virgin hair just means hair that has not been treated or colored and it also it doesn't mean it can be a born-again virgin oh like it

doesn't mean you've never dyed your hair it just means that the specific growth can be born i was like wait wait an actual born-again virgin i was like whoa i'm sorry i see your hair virginity like in the traditional way of like once you lose that virginity it's gone it's like oh your hair can regrow and now it's virgin again okay i didn't know how but hey but i you know what yes i feel like it's a less toxic concept for hair hair than it is for people so unless you're talking to this person yeah this person clearly has some issues who like seriously has clung on to their virgin status uh yeah so anyway i just uh just in case you're wondering what the hell is going on um if you grow your hair out and you haven't colored this length of hair you've chopped off all the colored bits now so my hair is currently virgin hair. It is. Yeah, mine is as well. Wow. Yeah.

Not to brag. Not to brag or anything. I guess I won't be using Arctic Fox anytime soon. Oh, man. Use the one that says poison. They warned us. Oh, I've got a review about poison. Oh, good.

There's a one-star review of Arctic Fox, that same one, but poison. There's another one mentioned in the review. This is titled Not for Adults. Uh-oh. One star. I was bored during the pandemic and after much research, ordered two colors of this. One is poison and one is sunset orange.

I mixed them at a 70% poison, 30% orange sunset ratio. I could already tell you this is not going to go well. I'm like, I don't know anything about hair dye, but this is going to be bad. Like, is that supposed to work? Do they advertise it like that's how you do it? I don't know. I feel like it would come out like a flaming Cheeto or like some ridiculous... We'll just wait. Okay. I was expecting a very vivid but human color spectrum red on my very light brown hair. At least something similar to the color guide in this listing. There is a color guide. That's true. Maybe it does have like ratios. Maybe.

I would be surprised, but maybe it does. I can check after this review. Maybe. What I got was something that could only be described as a red that be seen from space it was the same red as ronald mcdonald it won't fade i have washed my hair every day for six days with dandruff shampoo and hot water and while dye pours out of my hair in the shower the color is still there oh that. Day glow surface of the sun red. I am literally too ashamed to take an image of it. Although my four-year-old daughter thinks it's really, really cool.

Oh, that's cute. I am almost 40. Mommy, you look just like Ronald McDonald. I love it. You look like a clown, mommy. I'm almost 40 and should have had more sense than this. If you are an actual grown-up coping with the pandemic and are tempted to order this, you probably shouldn't. I have been embarrassed all week because adult responsibilities don't wait.

I have a $200 salon appointment tomorrow to strip this crap out of my hair, and then I am returning it. I'm also relieved yet appalled Amazon will let you return hair dye. Hashtag nope. End of review. That's kind of not fair. You're like, oh, they let me return hair dye. Hashtag nope. End of review. That's kind of not fair. You're like, oh, they let me return it. That's ridiculous. But like you want to return it.

They returned it anyway. Your money back. Yeah, I don't know. What does the color combo look like? So let's see. Designed to smear and blend less than other, blah, blah, blah. It just has like poison. I'm looking over your shoulder.

Not a single one of those look like a color that comes naturally on a human. No. And look at poison and look at sunset orange too to the right of it. Neither of those are like on the human color spectrum. This is the color of it. The clown. And like, I don't know what this person expected. It's not going to turn out a nice.

And blending them that way. I'm sorry, but that red. First of all, the poison red, if you look it up. Yeah, it's Ronald McDonald color. It is so fucking bright red. Like you have to know, like that's what you have to be in for. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I mean, I would love, like some of these colors are beautiful.

I would say. I imagine it overpowered the 30 sunset orange like maybe sunset orange never should have been 30 to 7 like the other way around or i mean if you had mixed this poison with maybe like a lighter if you mix this poison with your virgin hair i forgot doesn't want to be poisoned by hair dye it's all natural poison okay um that's so true i forgot i really want to try one of these i know the more that we read the less i should be wanting to try them but somebody wrote in i have to look but some of these i'm really actually into yeah i read i mean there's so many of were positive. Like the silvery purple colors. I love. Like there are so many positive reviews of all of these.

I was looking at like. Like tell me why I want. There's also the Hayley Williams. Was it Hair Dye Young or something? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good Dye. Something like that. Hair.

Good Dye Young. Hair Dye Young. Good Dye Young. Hair Dye something. Like I want to peri. They have some good colors. I want to periwinkle. Those are some great colors, Christina. God. But see, now hair dye, something. Like, I want a periwinkle. Those are some great colors, Christina.

God. But see, now again, I know myself, and I know I will not take the precautions to avoid spilling this all over my bathroom. Well, and my problem when I got my hair dyed was I did not take good care of it. Yeah, well. And then, like, it was gross green and way too long. And just, I was like, I don't want to spend money to fix it. And then I ended up just shaving it off. Yeah, I feel like that sometimes ends up being the way it goes, you know?

It's tragic. That's just the way it is. This episode is brought to you by Secret. Secret deodorant gives you 72 hours of clinically proven odor protection free of aluminum, parabens, dyes, talc, and baking soda. It's made with pH-balancing minerals and crafted with skin-conditioning oils. So whether you're going for a run or just running late, do what life throws your way and smell like you didn't.

Find Secret at your nearest Walmart or Shoppers Drug Mart today. Okay, I have one from Abby Sheher and this is a review of the Bygen? How do you say this? Bygen? Sure. Permanent powder hair powder by jen hair color uh you're telling me that jen is by deep none of your god you said it first

deep burk no literally you did deep burgundy uh color just mix with plain water. Okay. Five stars. This is a verified purchase. And it is a five-star review, so it's a redemption. I've always used this product to dye my hair, and I love this stuff. However, be warned that when using this hair dye, you need to be sure you really want to keep dark hair forever. Isn't that the point of hair dyes? You don't want to... Well, maybe not. You will not be able to change your hair color until you stop dying your hair and regrow virgin hair. Well,

yeah. I would imagine that's pretty normal. Isn't that how it works? That's what I thought. I will say this has to be said for some reviewers because some people were so upset. That it doesn't come out. Yeah. And it's like's like well you dyed it that color don't you need to like bleach it to like yeah and then re-dye it if you want a new color yeah it feels like that should be a given but again like i don't know maybe you gotta learn the hard way this hair dye is not compatible with other hair dyes i tried dyeing my hair once with another dye and my hair caught on fire. I Googled that and it is not a thing. I went, I literally said,

do okay. Christina, I don't think I would have even Googled that. But when you said that, I was like, holy shit. I thought you were going to say I Googled it and it's real. Because I literally Googled it.

The first link was called like firefighters.com. And I was like, well, they'll know. So I clicked on it and it said, you cannot start a fire from just mixing a hair dye. It's sad. Your hair will not catch on fire.

I don't know. But apparently there had to be a whole article about it on firefighter.com. My assumption is user error and they had like a blow dryer go like something weird. If it actually happened. They said this looks much better in candlelight. Take my photo in this candlelit room. I tried dyeing my hair once with another dye and my hair caught on fire. This has chemicals that stay on your hair, so be sure you're planning to keep the hair color a long time when using this product.

Otherwise, stay away from it. When you put shampoo on it, there are chemicals that stay in your i mean conditioner chemicals that stay in your hair people what are people complaining about i don't understand like to be honest this isn't even complaining say this is a five-star review no they're just saying just be aware i mean it's true some people need to hear this unfortunately the ending literally says i've been using this for years and my hair is flawless except we're gone yes but whatever i've been using this for years my hair is flawless i only use the oriental black okay uh interesting yikes i only use the oriental black color and again it's because i am not interested in changing my hair color

oh i can't wait for them to change the product and like them to have a full-on melt down is that people use the product what was this written let's see vila i'm surprised that 2021 i'm surprised they they're using that name maybe that's not the name maybe that's just what they call it jesus christ i hope not to both yeah oh man wild uh that hair catching on fire that is that's news to me i didn't come across any review mentioning That hair catching on fire. That's news to me. I didn't come across any review mentioning hair catching on fire. I think the internet thinks I'm really stupid because I Google shit like that. No. You know, I could see.

It's like one of those things where you mix cleaning supplies. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I'm sure it's pretty toxic. Really bad for you to do so. So, like, I could. That's why I don't blame you for Googling it because you never know when you mix things. I mean, yeah. I'm like, maybe I missed something.

But yeah, I assume heat had to have been applied. I would think so. But I don't know. Hmm. Fun. My next one is a one-star review of Kids Hair Chalk. Jumbo hair chalk pens. Washable hair color.

Safe for kids and teen. 200% more color per pen. I've always wanted to try those. For party, girl's gift, kid's toy, birthday gift for girls, 12 bright colors. Oh, dear God. Let's see. What the? Why?

Why does that child have gray face paint? Oh, no. All over their face. I'm upset by that. They look like, I don't know what they look like. They look like a forest creature. I don't understand. I don't know what they're going for there.

Interesting. Anyway, so yeah, these chalk pens that add color to hair. Here's a one-star review. Big mistake. Hi. This hair chalk made me look like a greasy swamp monster. It only applied to my roots, and despite the fact that it had only been 10 minutes,

it took me seven washes to get it out, and my hair was still green. End of review. Oh, swamp. Hi. I'm a greasy swamp monster. You're probably wondering how I ended up here. It only took 10 minutes. Oh, no oh boy it's terrible the more we read the more i want to color

my hair i know i'm thinking about it too it's like the time we read all those like uh frozen meal review or like wendy's reviews or something and i was like despite myself i'm so hungry right now like we read the grossest okay um this is from jamie they she he and it is a review of garnier hair color nutrisse ultra color nourishing cream i think i used to use this in high school uh spiced plum oh permanent sounds lovely what. So now I'm hungry. What does that look like? Every time we say spiced plums at a dinner, it's like, hmm, sign me up. She knows how much I love those nice juicy spiced plums. And the, what was that crap you used to eat from Starbucks? What?

That stupid drink that drove me crazy. You used to drink something from Starbucks that drove you crazy? It was like a specialty Christmas drink and it tasted like Froot Loops. The Praline Latte. The Praline Latte. I'll never get over that. Oh, that's classic. One star review. Wow.

Now I'm craving an iced Praline Latte with dried spiced plums. This is a one star review by Lisa and it is a verified purchase and the title is what a lovely shade of red this purple turned out to be and then one of these like little sad frown faces oh oh now i'm sad nothing about this color is purple nothing bought ultra bold violet to touch up my roots now i look like i should be off somewhere on my new human legs,

seducing princes with my crustacean sidekick. Everywhere I had virgin hair, I have flaming aerial roots. Oh, did I mention the actual purple I have from my ears to my hips? I'll be off to my 50th birthday luncheon looking like a Crayola crack monster did my hair. On the plus side, it is a lovely shade of red. If I was looking for red. End of review. That's a lot of, huh?

We got a little photo. Oh no. Wait, do you think that- It's kind of purple. I think so. I don't think that looks- I wasn't gonna say, but this- That does not look Ariel red.

To me, spiced plum. That is spiced plum right there, if you ask me. It's giving spiced plum to me. It's giving spiced plum. Okay, I'm glad we're on the same page. No. Also, I wanted to say, maybe, do you think this 50th birthday dinner was the dinner that that other person was going to?

Maybe. They both showed up. Then they could bond. Like her hair is crazy. Was it March 17th? That girl's skin is purple. Yeah. Like they look.

Yeah. They look like quite a pair. No, plum, Christina. Oh, my. Back on me. Oh. like quite a pair no plum oh my god my next one is from whitney this is a clairol nice and easy permanent hair dye color cream oh yeah i used to use all this crap in high school from i would go into cvs and saline and i would pick but i was always so scared mom would yell at me so i would always pick a color that was like similar to my hair which is kind of you still got that thrill i got the thrill of it no one noticed your hair was a different color but you knew deep down it was just fried now like it just was falling apart and i'm like look what i did i'm

such a rebel you were so rebellious that's when mom would add those pictures to her wall the wall of shame yeah it's just me and my hair good times just kidding i bet francesca's gotten up i was gonna say i didn't even make it are you sure that no i'm not tiger king was a rough one it was yeah here's a one-star review it stained my fingers brown and made them smell really bad kind of like i just took a big poo into my hands don't not buy these product end of review don't not buy it don't not buy these products signals yeah i don't know what to say that's disgusto if someone had brown on their hands i wouldn't be like did you just take a big that's so true like is they'd be like their fingers were brown they big poop that's so true like is they'd be like their fingers were brown they smell bad that would not be my first go no because i feel like

then their response would be is that how you take a poop into your hands what are you talking about lower it in so there's no splash that's disgusting oh wait is that not what you do Oh, wait, is that not what you do? Here's another review. This was also sent in by Jamie. It is a review of Garnier Hair Color Nutrisse, that same product, but in light, cool denim, which I think Jamie said is the one that they use. Interesting. And it's actually... It sounds nice, but the word denim in there is weird to me.

I know, but look at it. It's actually really nice. The first two words, light, cool, I was like, huh? Denim, huh? They could have used... The model looks kind of like she's having a weird day. I do like that color. But the color is nice.

The model looks like she's having a weird day. Is that what you said? Yeah. She looks like she's like, how did I end up here? That's, you know, yeah. You're's like how did i end up here that's you know yeah probably wondering how i ended up here on the clever and nutritious all right so this is a four-star review so it is a redemption uh and the author is james vincent verified purchase title is nice but darker blue than picture the review reads hi this is jim's wife very nice but color is darker than displayed on

box end of review oh i love that james that's so cute this is jim's wife uh hi she's taking over the review duties for the day like she's like oh man i'm addicted to or dye. I almost said it. Their A-L-E-X-A keeps sending them, don't forget to write a review for her. Yeah. And she's like, oh, fine, James, I'll do it for you. James. Not this again. Not this again. Okay, my next one is from Olivia.

And I accidentally linked the Google inbox instead of the product. So I do not know what this product is of, what this review, what product it is. Oh, well, here is a review. One star. Does not look ruby, more of a carrot top red. I bought the chroma ruby. I have been dyeing my hair red for 20 years now and thought I would give this one a whirl. I regret ever buying this.

I look like I stuck my head up carrot top's ass. It looks horrible and super orange. Is that what you think that person's fingers were doing? Again, I was about to say. It's kind of weird that we have this weird like. Are they androids? Do they not understand? This is upsetting.

Yeah, no one was going to look at you and think you did that. Nobody would have said that. Also, that would not be the color that comes out. No. It'd probably be a nice shade. Probably be my brown. True. See, that's what I'd say about your hair.

This is poop color. True. Your hair that's what I'd say about your hair. This is poop color. True. Your hair is poop colored. I noticed it seemed to also feel like it had a bleaching effect versus other permanent dyes I have used. I prefer the deep shades of red like Cherry, Real Ruby, Hibiscus, etc. This is nowhere near those colors. I used Sally's 20 Developer, so this should not have lightened my hair the way it did. I now have to fix the mess it made,

which really sucks because I try not to dye my hair too often due to breakage. I do not recommend the Chroma Ruby. End of review. Oh, boy. Red is hit or miss, you know? It's like, I just, I would never feel safe going red by myself, like, with a, because I feel like no matter what happened, I would blame myself.

Like, well. There's a saying about that. What? If you try red, you might end up dead. That's why I don't do it. Is that what's written on the poison bottle? See? Poison?

It's all coming together for you, huh? Wow. Sanity. At least no animals were harmed in the making of it. That's all that matters. I agree. I mean, I agree also. Okay.

Except these animals who are reviewing it. I have one last one before my challenge. Oh, shit. I think I have two more. Oh, you do? I said you had so many. I knew I should have gone first. You called it.

See, I don't know. I think maybe I'm thinking of Glassdoor. I had a lot more than usual. Oh, okay do? I said you had so many. I knew I should have gone first. You called it. See, I don't know. I think maybe I'm thinking of Glassdoor. I had a lot more than usual. Oh, okay. So. Well, I'll read this one then. This is from Jess, aka Minamoto, they, them. And it is just for men, mustache and beard dye for men.

Just for men. Okay, okay. Got it. One star. This is the most ridiculous thing. Like, Jess wrote, I just picked it for this one thing. And I was like, oh. And then I read it and went, I got to do it.

You got to do it? Uh-oh. The title is Use Caution. Allergic Reaction Was Horrible Experience. Verified Purchase. Had used Just for Men about 10 times a few years ago with decent results. Easy to use. No issues.

Tried again about three months ago and started to use, no issues. Tried again about three months ago and started to notice itchiness. Didn't think too much about it. Beard dry, moisturize, etc. Last time I used it about a month and a half ago, I had a severe allergic reaction. Lips swelled up, face extremely itchy, washed and washed, no relief. Shaved, beard, and found little pussy sores all over my face. What? I think he meant pussy. But I read it like three times like, I'm sorry?

What? And also, I'm shocked Amazon didn't like take that out. Huh? Like, why does Amazon let you write that? I'm shocked. That just, my brain just went, wait, what? Okay, the title of this. How would you spell pussy?

Is that a word? I don't think it's a word. Puss filled. Puss filled. I don't think that, I think just his email said something like, just for men causes pussy sores. And I went, oh, someone must have put it down there. Nope. That's not what happened.

Wow. And so then I'm reading and i go how did he get them on his like he got herpes like i i didn't understand um shaved beard and found little pussy sores all over my face took benadryl symptoms lasted acutely for about three days can you imagine he's like messaging his doctor on like the portal and he's like i've got all these pussy sores and the doctor's like sorry i think you need to come in and maybe see a gynecologist come in in person don't send me pictures yeah no pictures please i've had unexplained itchiness all over my body for past month and prescribed prednisone i don't know if that was related or not googled many wait oh that the

itchiness or that you got prescribed yeah i'm like wait what i think that doesn't just happen you know googled many many similar instances my message is to take the issue seriously and do not use if you feel any itchiness wow this product does contain a substance that is a known allergen and then like doesn't tell what it is. And the tiny warnings and advice to do a skin test are not in scale with the potential issues. Beware. And I hope you have a better experience than I did. Okay.

I have a question for you. Yeah. It's about my beard. Yeah. Your big manly beard. My pussy sores. Listen, I promise we never talk about that again. No. Listen, I promise we never talk about that again. No, my question is when a product, like I don't know how often you use anything like a hair dye or whatever.

When it says do like a skin test first, do you do that? No. Wait, do products say that? Oh, yeah. In the instructions? Yeah, I don't read the instructions. Either a strand test or if you're doing something on your skin, you just test it in one part of your skin. Oh, interesting.

You've never done that? No. But I guess you didn't even know that that was a thing. No. In my experience as someone who uses probably many more of these kind of cosmetic products, the instructions always say do a patch test, do a skin test. Yeah, it makes sense. Have I ever done one? Absolutely not.

No. Because then it says wait 24 hours. I wouldn't. Oh, that's a long time. Yeah, makes sense. Have I ever done one? Absolutely not. No. Because then it says wait 24 hours. I wouldn't. Oh, that's a long time. Yeah, like what are you supposed to do? Do that 24 hours later then? No. Fuck it. This is for men. I'm a man. I don't do that. Give me a pussy source. I can handle it.

Anyway, that was my last one. I can't get over it. I think I should just be done. Yeah, we did end on a high there. That's one way to put it. I have another get over it. I think I should just be done. Yeah, we did end on a high there. I don't know what's the one way to put it. I have another one from Olivia. The last one was from Sally Beauty, by the way, the website. Because this one also is from Sally Beauty.

Okay. This is of some sort of liquid cream. What is that? Permanent liquid cream hair color from Lomé. Lomé. Okay. Here's a one-star review. Better results with Kool-Aid than this.

If I could give zero stars, I would. This hair dye smelled 10,000% times worse than anything else I've ever used. I bleached my hair and followed all instructions, even watched a few YouTube TikTok videos to make sure I do everything by the book. When I said it did nothing, I mean absolutely nothing. You can get better results mashing elderberries in your hair than this dye could possibly provide. End of review.

What? Okay, so. Seven people did not find it helpful. Two people did. Seven people currently have elderberry in their hair right and are like thumbs down this didn't do nothing for me um i cannot believe i mean listen kool-aid's supposed to work yeah no i hear that works great so and probably smells nice so like whatever that's a color you want. I don't know if elderberry does anything at all.

I feel like that. Next time I'm at Ikea, I'll get a box. No, just put your head under the fountain soda. Get the soda, the fountain soda. I love that.

Lingonberry soda. Lingonberry. That's what I was thinking of. Wowza. That's quite a piece of advice to put out there on a beauty website. So true. Just smash some elderberries in there. Although that would probably like, you know, that's quite a piece of advice to put out there on a beauty website so true just smash some elderberries in there although that would probably

like you know when you play with like a berry and it stains it stains your fingers yeah when I play with berries I play with my berries and I can stain fingers yeah

and it stains fingers yeah true you know when you poop and then your hands are brown yeah yeah Yeah, true. You know when you poop and then your hands are brown? Yeah. Yeah.

My next one and final one was sent in by Sarah, who sent in a review of Color Charm Permanent Liquid Hair Color. It's Color Charm by Wella. Here's a one-star review. Devastating. I can't smell because of the terrible and toxic smell. I thought I had COVID and had to get tested. I missed days of work and now I do not have a home and depressed. End of review.

What? I don't know. What happened? Is your home condemned because of the toxins? Eight people found it helpful. 137 found it not helpful. Who are these eight assholes? They're like, oh yeah, that was helpful. Thumbs up.

We'd love to see it. We'd love to see it. Oh my gosh. I assume it was just a joke reveal, but I don't know. I have no fucking clue. That was so, that this hair dye caused this person to go through all that? I don't know. It's possible, Zandy.

Okay. Maybe in your world. Maybe in my world uh okay should i do my challenge i think you should this is from grace the challenge is reviews of products intended for babies slash toddlers where the reviewer complains about it being too simple or childish for their child okay so this is a review that i found of the okay it's not i just realized my first one is not intended for babies or toddlers but you'll see it that's fine it seems to still fit i think my my challenge next week, I took some liberties. Okay, okay.

So this product on Amazon, it's $321, and it's called the ExoTerra Glass Terrarium Tank. Yes, for children. It says, for reptiles or amphibians. Again, we're not getting to the lizard talk, because you know how I don't feel comfortable with that. So this is a terrarium for reptiles or amphibians. Not for lizards. Lizards aren't reptiles. Cedar, stop.

I don't want to talk about it. Okay. And here's a question and answer from the question section. Oh, I love these. Yeah. So a user asked, I know there's a lock I could buy for the front, but is there a lock that would also work for the lid? My daughter is way too smart for my lizard's good. I'm like, excuse me?

What is she doing? She's reaching and grabbing that lizard. To do what? Play. Here's the answer. Here's the answer. The lid is just a screen that sits in the space designed for it and has plastic locks that turn and lock the screen down from critters pushing it up, but not kids getting in. I see no easy way to lock same to make it active childproof.

If your daughter is clever, she'll figure it out. Oh, no. out oh no i mean i don't love the idea that this user already knows that their daughter is going to try and yeah kidnap the lizard out of this yeah terrarium because what has happened before i don't kids are curious you know but then why don't you just put it up here maybe the maybe the kid is like 16. So smart. She just like manhandles a lizard. I don't know. Maybe it's a tall toddler. You're right.

Oh, that's a scary thought. It's like from Rugrats. Keep it away from me. Like the giant baby. Drew. So scared of that, by the way. Okay. This one was sent in by listener melissa she her and it is of the speech therapy toy with talking flash cards 224 sight words uh sensory toys for autistic children

toddler age two to five and here's a one star review verified purchase called boring seems like a good idea but this has an asian accent lol which is kind of cute but no so much for a toddler learning to pronounce it's boring you put the card in and it say the word some of the cards make you wonder why did they add this one i'll just stick to the handy dandy leapfrog oh it's very small too end of. So I thought, what could possibly be some of the words? And I look and it has Jeep. What? Backhoe.

Why are they learning these words? Like, I understand, you know, maybe. Like, if those are the ones that they feature on the image, it's so bizarre. I gotta know. I'll check later. Jeep? Jeep seems, isn't that a brand? Yeah. I'm going to look it up. Sorry, please hold. Jeep? Jeep seems, isn't that a brand? Yeah.

I'm going to look it up. Sorry. Please hold. Looking up Jeep? No. What does it mean? What is Jeep? No, I'm going to look up this toy.

There's, I don't know why I find this funny, but one of them is Worm. That's a good. Worm. Worm. And then there's Cinema. Oh. So some of them seem like, yeah, kind of random. But none of them seem like outrageous.

I would say backhoe is one of the weirder ones. I'd say that's, yeah, maybe outrageous. But it depends on the context. It just seems so weird. It does seem weird. I don't know. We all got to learn what a backhoe is at some point in our lives. That is true. And someday I might learn, you know. Maybe I need to get what a backhoe is at some point in our lives. That is true.

And someday I might learn. Maybe I need to get this on my head. You might learn the hard way. Uh-oh. Okay, so that is that one. Now let's go to the next one. This is one I found on Amazon. It's a teething toy, silicone baby teether, cartoon remote teether. Silicone chew toy for babies. toy for babies okay um i don't think so like a teething ring yeah when i said it loud

chew toy chew toy for yeah it's it's it's accurate but it doesn't it's almost sound right yeah it seems like the wrong term. Maybe that's one of the flashcards. Chew toy for babies. All right, so here's a four-star review of this toy. This is awesome because our son loves our Roku remote. Someone who hates the Roku remote. remote props to this kid but have you tried chewing on it that might be that's true it actually looks like it would be great to right it's like perfect handheld yeah it's pretty small and stuff the worst remote for chewing and for use i think is

the apple tv remote i don't think i've seen oh i it so much. It's like it has a ring like an iPod. Oh, no, no. And like that's it. No, it has a couple buttons, I think. But I've only used it at other people's places. I don't think I even knew there was an Apple TV remote. It is my least favorite remote that I've ever used in my life, I think. Cool.

And chewed on. This is awesome because our son loves our Roku remote. The only thing I would change about it is the thickness. It is as thin as a piece of paper. What? Which, by the way, like, is it though? No, it's not. It doesn't look like it.

They don't have, look, they like clear, they aren't showing the side profile. So I wonder how, I wonder if it's actually like just a thin what if it's just a piece of paper and they just printed it whoa no the only thing i would change about it is the thickness it is as thin as a piece of paper i wish it was the actual thickness of a roku remote because i think my son is too smart to not figure out it is a fake also it has a pig on it also sorry just it's funny though because it does look i mean it looks i can see it does look convincing i can see me grabbing this and being like oh wait like i'd far rather have one of those remotes those are cute it says music sport movie

cartoon um it has like a quite a few buttons but it does have a pig on it so when you're like oh he'll probably figure it out it's not the real remote i'm like well yeah his he probably has chewed on the other one enough times he knows yeah his mouth knows the mouth feel the mouth feel of it very different um okay so this is a review of vos active this is shit i found in the middle of the night and barely remember so apologies in advance this is the vos active high rope and zipline park a whole park yeah it's like a zipline park i don't know what i'm doing i mean is it an outdoor is this like is this an Amazon product? No, I'm sorry.

Oh my goodness. I was so confused. I was like, can you like set this up in your backyard? As someone who once tried to buy a pool on Amazon, I see where your head was at. Yeah, yeah. But no, it's like a TripAdvisor post about this. Got it, got it, got it. And Martin wrote,

A nice set of roots through the trees, but was too simple for my son. Or at least that's what he said before the sore muscles kicked in. It was difficult enough for me. The zipline parkour is not technically challenging, but great fun and takes you across the river twice. That makes for stunning views. End of review. Wow. I just had Googled, you know, too simple for my child.

Yeah. And then when it said a zipl line, I was like, wow. That makes no sense to me. What? Too simple? If it were too difficult and you put your child on it. At what age? I feel like there's no age that it's like too simple.

It's just, it is what it is. It seems like there's not really a difficulty level except for being able to be strapped into it. Yeah. But I don't know maybe i mean like maybe the enjoyment wasn't there but i feel like it's not because it was too i mean this is boring is it just me or this is kids brett that was too easy you know some shit i would say as a kid i know it is oh so now i have um some good ones these are uh of some books for kids so this one i found online it's called i mean listen i don't even remember finding this so i'm gonna click the link and read it okay

it's called kittens adventures portuguese edition oh yes cute it is very cute i it. I don't know the book, but I love the cover. This is a three star review. I was expecting a long story. This is way too simple for my daughter. She lost interest fast. Books need to be more engaging. I wish the pictures were brighter so it would be more engaging. I also wish they did a better job of defining here, there,

and everywhere. I didn't agree with the- Jesus. That was- I have a story about that. Here, there, and everywhere. As a Beatles song. Yeah.

That was my senior quote. Was life flows on through- Wait, hold on. No, wait. I'm thinking of something else. Is that that right i think they put all those words in um yeah is that right am i am i being hold on you had your own page i was like wait isn't didn't i like use a quote from this uh a lyric from this song in my we're not convinced yet am i mixing things up i don't know what i'm thinking oh maybe it was from i'm thinking of within and without you no i'm pretty sure you're thinking of kittens adventure portuguese edition i think that's what you quote i was like oh man i i i did life wait

hold on one sec this is not interesting to everyone anyone really but i'm thinking about within you without you the song oh okay are you gonna read it or no life flows on within you and without you that was my senior quote life flows on within you that sounds like you were a stoner it's really depressing i was just depressed i think oh do you know mine? It was... It was... I don't know, actually. I have no idea. Death Cabin for Cutie. No, I...

Was it a song lyric? No. Was it a poem? Was it like Maya Angelou or something? Was it Kafka? No. Almost. Almost?

No, I almost wanted to do Kafka, but I was like, that's a little... What was it it was the meaning of life is to plant trees under whose shade you'll never sit oh that's a good one okay that's that's a that one is like oh come on you're gonna be you're never gonna regret that one i like it easy choice you know i'm happy with it i'm happy with it yeah uh i i i'm clearly not happy with him. Yeah. I'm clearly not happy with mine because I didn't even know what it was. Well, apparently the kids. I'm sorry I interrupted this whole review for nothing. Apparently the kids adventure Portuguese edition reminded you of it.

It did. So there's that. I was like, what am I? I don't even remember what you said. Let me explain. I also wish they did a better job of defining here, there, and everywhere. I'm so stupid. I didn't agree with the author's choices of animal placement either.

This may not make sense without seeing the book. I think the mice and the insects should have been everywhere. Birds should have been there, since I can't imagine a kitten getting that close to that many birds without the birds scattering. Plus, when they stay there, the kitten is pictured right alongside the other animals, just the same as here. And then it says, oh, well, and that's the end of the review. Oh, well, I'm. Oh, my goodness. Upset by this because my head hurts just thinking. Yeah, I don't want to. I don't. The way they presented it. I'm like, that's I'm not going to be able to picture this. Don't even bother. Imagine being a three-year-old and your parent being like, no, no, no, the cat should be here.

And you're like, just read the book. The thing with children's books, there are so fucking many. Yeah, there are. So many. You go to the bookstore and you're trying to pick out a book for Leona. There's always new ones too. There are always new ones. And talk about bright colors.

And they're all cute. Like you can find bright colored books everywhere so like if this is like this book that they're reviewing is very specific style like whatever yeah why are they upset that the colors weren't bright enough there's to buy another book yeah the cover shows it's not that bright uh and i feel like some books leona's not really into and i'm like well maybe in a year or two she'll be into it. You know? True. But I guess she's not so smart like all these other kids.

Yeah, yeah. Also, honestly, I think what this book is special with, like what's special about this book is the story. There's a lot of like depth there and there's a lot of meaning behind it. So honestly, I think this person's child is a fucking idiot for wanting bright colors and cutesy stuff and the cat to be there instead of here. Because there's a reason the cat is here and not there. We never heard from the child. That's true. We didn't hear from the child.

I'm sorry, child. The child might be like, mom, I like it the way it is. Yeah. And the parent said, no, you're too good for this. The parent has cut out and modged podged all the pictures into different parts of the book. Wow. Modged podged it up. And then written in their own definitions of here.

Is that why your cricket's been running this whole time? You're just like switching books. Because I'm making like vinyl corrections to Leona's books. I feel like we had reviews of people who are correcting their children's books to like remove quote unquote bad words. There were some. Like people were like,'m we're christian family so i had to remove this word from this book or we we sharpied out like there was somewhere they

sharpied out certain words the word foreigner or something let's see the word foreigner not that the word foreigner yeah okay it sounded like you said they were four no i said they probably it was probably the word foreigner. Be careful. That's, I think the FTA, FTA? I don't know what you're trying to say. I think the FTC only lets us say that twice per episode. God.

Not the FDA. The FDA. They don't have any judicial ruling over us. Now ICE lets us say it zero. ICE. Okay, this is a review of the same book, by way oh wait no it's not this is a review of a book called rocket science for babies which i think leona had like they have i think logan got it for her what they have different ones that are like quantum physics for baby you, they're just like picture books, toddler board books. And they're like, I think they're kind of jokey.

Like they're not. Here's a review. Abby sent this in. Four stars. Really lovely concept. Maybe a bit too simple. I really like this series. It's pretty cool.

We own a couple of them and I've gotten them as gifts. But if anything, I think it's a little too simple for babies. My eight-month-old loves his books. We read a bunch every day. I really like the concept of these science books for babies. My husband and I are both scientists. Also, the quality and length and size are good. I just wish the illustrations were a bit more complex and that a storyline was somehow weaved in i get the sense that my son gets a little impatient with the simplicity of these where he will really focus on more complex books the baby is eight months old eight months and like before i had a baby i probably wouldn't understand how absolutely ridiculous that sounds

your baby's not even taught like what do you mean he doesn't it's too simplistic rocket science for babies are what are they trying what are they doing to this child that's so wild to me like then what do you say about cad and a hat good night moon like none of those are complex yeah maybe leona was just a little behind i mean clearly no that's weird i don't know maybe it's just boring and they don't want to be a scientist just because mom and dad are just saying is this about dad and the metallurgy maybe thing like look okay this is a ball the ball is moving air can't go through it air goes goes around it. I think it's interesting. Yeah, fascinating. Well, I mean.

For a baby. I just think like. For a baby. I just think. Only babies would like that book. Like I can get why. Yeah, yeah. No, I'm, I don't, I think no eight month old is finding anything particularly too simplistic,

right? I would say. I imagine. Like. I don't know. I just. It might be a little too a little too simple for me if i read this right now just a bit i mean again um books that teach how to count to 10 are probably also too simplistic but that an eight month old is not even learning

to count yeah i know but i'm just having a little bit of it this is a review of the same book it's my last really unhappy about this one. It just irks me when people are like, my kid is so smart. I'm like, leave them alone. Let them be a baby. They're a baby. Let them be a baby. Let them be a baby.

They're eating the remote. How smart are they? They're eating the remote. Okay. Here's a review of the same book. This is two stars. Reviewed by Rick. Verified purchase.

Title is Truly Cringeworthy. If you know anything about aeronautics, rocket science, physics, etc., be prepared to cringe. Oh, good. I won't. I won't have to prepare. Won't have to prepare to cringe. I suppose there's something about making it accessible to young kids that makes people think you have to simplify a topic to the point of uselessness, but I tend to think more of children's intellect than that. It's really very insulting, and if this book is considered quality teaching material by educators, then it bodes poorly for the future development of our children.

The content of this book is incorrect, doesn't follow a rational progression in the development of an understanding of the fundamentals addressed, and is incomplete relative to the scope of the book. End of review. He's like, son, this isn't about the balls. This is about how the atoms move around in the ball. If that's what your child is responding to, then maybe like, I don't know, consider that your child is a child and this book is for children. Like, I don't know. It's not that deep. It's just very weird that you would get this for toddlers and be like, the future of science.

Yeah, okay. It's like, okay. Exaggerating like that. If people like you are teaching science, I'm sure you'll drill it into their heads eventually. Like cringing at a children's book. I mean, I get it if it's like... Some, I've cringed at some children's books, but only because they're like, kind of upsetting or, you know, something is a little bit off in my opinion. Yes, but not like, oh, because this is not laying a good groundwork for physics education for my

18-month-old child. I didn't have a good groundwork for physics education for my 18-month-old child. Yeah, I guess my question also- I didn't have a good groundwork from physics from my high school class. No, exactly. I was going to say, also, what other books are you reading your child that are preparing them for a great education in quantum physics? I don't know. And by the way, the author is an award-winning physicist and a senior lecturer for quantum software and has a master's in applied mathematics and mathematical physics and a PhD in applied mathematics. So, you know what? It seems like he was prepared properly for a career in the sciences.

So true. And I trust him to teach my kid. If that guy was going to teach my kid science, I'd be like, go for it. Absolutely. Anyway. I would do the same, I guess. Yeah. Well, I meant you.

Oh, yes. My kid. I really would rather not learn it. I'm going to send you to Sydney to learn about Newtonian physics for babies. You know what? Science, believe it or not, not something i'm interested in your flight leaves in two hours thanks for listening everybody uh is that your last review yeah that was my last one good i promise i warned you you just weren't listening i was not i was trying to

process all this science talk the brain's slow and And also, your dog has been nudging me for the past hour. He is really annoying. He's a good boy, though. He is, but he's very annoying. Yeah, he's needy. Aren't we all, though? Aren't you all listeners? Yes, you're needy, needy people.

That's why we got to just cut the cord now. Say bye-bye. Say bye-bye and go watch the film I was in and give props to that amazing crew for doing such a great job. And don't mix your hair dyes because they might catch on fire. Don't catch on fire. Or go to firefighters.com for more info. Or read Quantum Physics for Babies because it might have more information there.

All righty. Talk to you soon. Bye-bye. Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet is a Forever Dog production. Hosted and produced by Zandy and Christine Schieffer. It's edited by Marco Padilla. Cover art by Courtney Aventura. Theme music by Mavis White. Executive produced by Mariah Nicholas. Forever Dog Productions is Joe Cilio, Alex Ramsey, and Brett Boehm.