Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 274: Reviews of Lego

Episode Date: February 28, 2024

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Offer ends June 30th, 2024. New eligible clients only. Complete criteria by August 30th, 2024. Visit rbc.com slash student 100. Welcome to Beach to Sandy, Water to Wet. A podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. Hello, everybody. Welcome to episode 274 of Beach, Shoe, Sandy, Water, Too Wet. It's a podcast where we read the worst reviews in the most dramatic fashion. My name is Zandy. I'm X-teen. I should have told you this before we started recording.

That you're X-teen? Yeah. Surprise! News to me. I know you thought you had a special guest on today No, I Well, I guess I'll tell you now I am Did you just Wait, I thought you already made that choice What?

You said I should have told you this earlier And then you're like i guess i'll tell you now i guess i second guessed it i don't know okay here's the thing i am going through a miniature crone's flare right now because i ate too many dumplings again last night which apparently is my kryptonite yeah it's happened last Huh? It was much worse last time when I was in New York with you and I like ate so many dumplings. And the next day I like. I don't remember you having dumplings.

Well, it was alone in my hotel room. Oh, okay. I see. So it's always a solo experience, which is probably why I eat and inhale so many in such a rapid rate. Makes sense. So that's what I did last night. And I woke up at 5 a.m. and went, what is going on with me? I think I have the flu.

No, it's just Crohn's. But it does feel like the flu, like your whole body, just every joint and everything aches. So I was really freaked out because I was like, I feel like shit. How do I, you know, pep up for this recording? So I took Tylenol and it still has not quite kicked in, although maybe it's starting to work. And I also Googled like best Delta 9 THC gummies. Yeah, I was going to say, is this your way to tell me that you had an idea? That you're like listing all the excuses.

I know. And so I was reading this list because I was like, maybe I'll order some for next time. Turns out one of them is one I already own. And I was like, oh my God, you're kidding me. I mean, it was just on some listicle of most effective for inflammation. Yeah, anti-Crones edibles. Pain medication. And you were like, what?

That's what that means? Yeah, I-Crones edibles. Pain medication. And you were like, what? That's what that means? Yeah, I didn't know. And so anyway, I took half of one because I'm like desperate. So I took half one. I just I didn't even necessarily know whether to say it on the podcast, but I figure at some point it'll come out anyway. So here's the thing. You definitely should have told me earlier so I could prepare by having my own i'm sorry well i just took it you want to take one now sure okay we need some uh some uh as em and i have elevator music we need like a uh a little

jazzy interlude you know i mean I also figure like this is, oh, nevermind. This is the Chuck E. Cheese episode. No, it's not. No, it's not. Sorry. Uh-oh, it's hitting her. This is the Lego episode. Okay, nevermind.

I don't have a good reason. And it's my challenge, which is find reviews where someone felt inconvenienced by a business being robbed. Okay, that happened to our mom. So it's going to be chaotic. Anyway, we'll talk about it. Oh, yeah. She felt so inconvenienced.

No, no, no. She wrote a one-star Yelp review? No, I guess not. I'm just kidding. I don't know what you're talking about. Okay, we'll talk about it later when the challenge comes, I guess. Or like when she was like, like literally like when she was like held at gunpoint. Yeah, it was really inconveniencing.

No, I'm kidding. I mean, that that did happen but that's not what i meant i met the time she ran into the store to get like some cash from an atm or something uh by near uc and she ran back out to the car and said well there was an armed robbery happening as i was in there so now we have to find another atm oh god okay so anyway let's get into the legos um and correct me if i'm wrong i feel like lego is having a renaissance or is that just me like i feel like they're having like a big moment i know that they've had their movies and all that but no for some reason i feel like they're more popular like gift wise and the Lego store always has a line. Like it might not be like when you zoom out in time, like it might've been happening for some years now, like you just said,

but I agree. I feel like we're in it right now. Maybe it's just like our phase of life. We're like seeing it more. I don't know, but yeah. And like, but I think it's,

I think a big part of it is generation, like Gen X millennials who like grew up playing it are now old enough to buy the fucking crazy shit that they make. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I think that's probably a big part of it is I feel like people are now like the Lego fans are growing up and can buy their own. And it's like, I don't want to say appropriate, but it's like's like cool not cool i don't know the right word like but it's not weird quote unquote to like be to play with lego it's not like lame to yeah yeah yeah didn't you recently have a lego exchange with your friends which i thought was so fun we didn't but we planned it you're right no okay i'm like wow it. Got the timing. Didn't work with all of us visited, like being home at the same time over Christmas.

Um, but yeah, the plan was to have like a, a secret Santa, not a secret Santa, like a, like a white elephant swap, white elephant, whatever it is. Um, where you, um, everyone buys a different set and we all had, it was like the same budget, like 20 bucks or something. So like the smaller sets and everyone bought a set and you just got one randomly and opened it and we were supposed to all build them together. Like, and we just didn't do it.

Oh, it's like a gingerbread house kit, but I don't know, more elevated. Sure. And less, less less edible less edible except in my ready for a review yeah sure go ahead not too late I'm not trying to rush us no I don't like where this is going context of edible legos but go ahead I have a one-star review of the Lego store in Leicester Square in London, England. Here it is. One star.

Saw a staff member swallow a piece of Lego. What the hell, man? I wanted that one. Oh my god! I called dibs on that specific garnish. Must have looked particularly tasty. I feel that Blaze probably has seen an x-ray or two with. Oh, I'm sure.

Or whatever they do. Up the butt, down the gullet. Right? Like he's kind of seen a lot of items kind of in people's orifices. Yeah. And Legos, I feel like would probably be an easy one at work and everywhere else okay okay okay uh no primarily at work uh i'd say i would say primarily to cover all my bases time or our sister swallowed a screw

like a giant drywall screw by the way and she was a was a baby. It was on my, I was also like, I was having a Halloween party. Anyway, the fire truck came up with the ambulance and I had a big sign that said, Christine's party this way. And I was like, oh, they're coming to my party. Anyway. Wow. Yeah. That's rough times.

I don't love that somebody ate that. Don't eat a Lego. Nothing good. No, don't eat Lego. Don't eat a lego nothing no don't eat lego uh don't eat lego's i don't know the plural of lego lego's i i don't know it's a lego lego i don't know it's a danish did you know it's danish i just read a book about denmark and it talks a lot about like what else are they gonna talk about there? The lack of sunlight. There's a lot. Okay.

Do you know what it comes from, the word Lego? You know, I probably do, but I don't know off the top of my head. It comes from, it's an abbreviation of the two Danish words leg and goat, G-O-D-T. So L-E-G space G-O-D-T, meaning play well. Oh, that's right. Yes, play well. Yes. Because I feel like the author mentioned that phrase a lot because at the lego headquarters apparently they do play a lot it's

like part of their whole work good as they should yeah right i i don't know i thought it was um pretty appropriate uh okay so i have one here This was sent in by Jaden, and there's a photo accompanying it that I will text you as I read it. It's on my phone. Yes, ready. Because Jaden also added just a little note in the email that said, there's no way this is real, dot, dot, dot, right? Uh-oh. However, this-

I'll be the judge of that. Yeah, you be the judge, because I also don't totally know, but here it is, and I'll read it. Yeah, you be the judge because I also don't totally know, but here it is. And I'll read it. Unfortunately, I can't review the quality of the Legos as the box was filled with crackers. End of review. And it looks to be a Cheez-Its bag. It's literally a bag of Cheez-Its coming out of a Star Wars Lego box.

That's actually hilarious. And the title of the review is not what we expected. One star. And I will add, like, if you go to the review, it is a verified purchase. Yeah. And then there's another review that Jaden mentioned in the same listing where someone bought a Lego kit and it came with just, like, all these pink and green Legos instead of the Star Wars. Like, a giant bag of just the wrong Legos. Yeah. Also verified purchase.

So, I mean, the Cheez-Its is a little much. I'm like, I doubt that that's a thing, but people resell stuff on Amazon. So I don't know. I was going to say, since it's Amazon, I'm inclined to think, and I'm looking just in the background of this screenshot you sent me,

I see three one-star reviews. With photos, all with photos. And yeah, and people being like, what? And calling it Lego fraud. And people not getting what they want. So I'm inclined to say that this might be like a sketchy person who's misleading people. Because there's the top one even says that they're missing lots of the pieces.

I mean, it looks like somebody's messing with these either way. Yeah, something's happening. And I feel like a bag of Cheez-Its, if you put it inside a Lego box, it would probably have the same consistency. Like the sound is what I was thinking. The same mouthfeel. The same mouthfeel. We're back to eating Lego.

Maybe that person was eating a Cheez-It. That might have been it. I wanted that Lego. But yeah, because when you shake it too, you'd be like, okay, yeah. Oh, yeah. If you're not thinking about it too carefully, maybe you're like, yeah, this sounds kind of like a box of Lego. Oh, yeah, this sounds like a Millennium Falcon.

Never mind. Yeah, it's one of those. That's the problem. It said Millennium Falcon. No one read it properly. They got duped. Okay, my next one. This was sent in by Brad.

This is of the Lego store, uh, in West Boise, Idaho. So here we go. One star review. And this one also has a picture. So I'm going to send that picture to you at the,

at the end though, because if I sent this first, it might be a little weird. Um, okay, here we go. I took my son to the Meridian Lego store for his birthday to redeem some gift cards he had received as gifts. He excitedly picked out the Lego set he had wanted for weeks.

Then we attempted to check out, only to find Lego cannot accept gift cards from Lego? How does that work? So we left empty- handed and very disappointed. Thanks, Lego. Instead of a birthday, Lego said my son got something much more valuable. A lesson that life comes with lots of disappointments, even on your birthday.

And then, the said reviewer included a picture of himself holding his son, looking very sad. Just like, Oh no. Like had, it looks like he just cried.

He's crying. Oh, that's terrible. Why would you take that? Dad is looking like pretty fine. I mean, I don't mean fine, like attractive.

Fine. I mean, like he looks pretty fine. Did anyone think that? I'm kidding. I wonder if like there's one person out there that's like, oh, tell me. And for that one person, I needed to set the record straight. I'm glad you, yeah, I'm glad you did.

No, I just feel like the dad's just like, anyway, kid, that's life. The kid looks so sad. Photo time. Yeah. But it's also kind of like a weird, like it's outside of the store. Yeah. And it's kind of, it just feels like a candid, like who took this? And also why?

Why after the fact? This kid does not seem to want this photo being taken. No, it's just really sad. Anyway. Yeah, it's kind of sad. It's so silly. A lesson in life. A life lesson.

I can't believe they didn't just buy him the Lingo set. I don't know. I mean, I don't know. I mean, Hey, that does suck. They're so expensive. I mean,

if you go in, I don't feel, I like, honestly, I thought that at first. And then I was like, I don't know. The dad's bringing an Apple watch and some Oakley sunglasses.

I'm like, you get this kid just a Lego set. I mean, maybe it's, maybe he wanted like the several hundred dollar ones. That's the thing is like, they're so crazy expensive. And like, look at on the one hand, I kind of get ones. That's the thing is like, that's true. That's fair. They can get expensive. And like,

look at on the one hand, I kind of get it. But on the other hand, it's like, I don't know. Maybe they can order it online. Yeah. It's hopefully something like that.

But I, I do feel bad for this kid, obviously, but man, some Lego sets are so expensive that like, if you don't have gift cards for it, it's hard to justify some of those purchases um yeah but i wish i i wish i would have known what lego said just out of curiosity

but me too it was like the frank lloyd wright like falling water like something fucking oh god it's probably a thousand dollars no i don't know i'm the most expensive one, but I think on their site, the most expensive one was a Star Wars one for like 800 bucks. Woof. Oh, my gosh. Okay. Yeah. That's a lot. They get up there.

All right. Well, I have a review sent in by Olivia, and this is kind of a twist on the theme. It's a review of the Lego Batman movie. And this is a two-star review i did not do any uh movies so i was glad you did i did yeah i kind of thought about it did a little loop-de-loop around the the theme um this is a two-star review by a google user i actually think this movie is five stars i just found out nobody has given it two stars yet, so I've taken the opportunity to be the first to do so

and make somewhat of an imprint on this amazing, wonderful film in some way that can be viewed by curious individuals. Anyways, go to the one-star reviews to get a good kick. I know I did. They're hilarious. Better yet, go to the Polar Express one-star reviews and you'll find something laughably shocking. End of review.

What? I love how you basically justified their goal. You just basically helped them fulfill their goal of being noticed by being the first to put a two-star review. Wow. They did it for attention and you gave it to them. Oh. I'm not saying that's a bad right. They did it for attention and you gave it to them. Oh, I guess. I'm not saying that's a bad thing. I think it's actually kind of funny.

But yeah, I think if this were a small business, I'd be like, don't do that. I wonder. But it's the Lego Batman movie. You know, whatever. I guess I just like wonder why would it not having a two-star review

be your impetus to say. Yeah. I guess it's my job now i don't know it's i guess similar to when there's a youtube comment their youtube video everyone has to say first true sometimes i start streaming and people hop in and say first but what they don't know is they don't see that someone else said something beforehand well right because they're not even see the previous it's like 85 people say first and then you're like wait it's like no well not all of you can be right but um but yeah i uh i guess it was

an attempt of at making history i wonder if it was an attempt at getting the polar express movie a little bit more traction so to speak because, because they say, now go to the Polar Express movie and there you'll find something really shocking. Cliffhanger. But which level of review? One star. Going to the one star Polar Express? Yep. Oh, okay.

One star Polar. Go to the Polar Express one star reviews. You'll find something laughably shocking. I don't think I'll be shocked if I go there and see the one-star review. I've never seen the movie, but just the animation style kind of creeps me out, so I could see people giving it one-star reviews. During the holidays, Blaze and I were taking Leona on a road trip,

and we went into some hotel room, and I turned the TV on, and they were playing Christmas movies. And after The Grinch, my favorite, I mean the classic Grinch from the 60s, obviously, the Polar Express movie came on and I hadn't seen it. So I just kind of let it play. And Blaze walked in and went, why are you showing her that?

I don't know. It was just on TV. And he goes, it's so scary. And I was like, huh? But then I looked a little closer. And yeah, it is pretty unsettling. Like the animation. I didn't love it yeah it's not

for me but i wasn't laughably shocked so i don't know i don't know what that's i don't know if that's the right phrase but well maybe we'll never know polar express episode that sounds terrible i was gonna say i guess that might be our holiday one now we've cornered ourselves into it no thank you is it my turn or your turn it's your turn oh you just did like um polar express unless you want to bring polar express i was like how did we even get there who knows um have you seen the lego any of the lego movies i saw the the i think it's the original the one with tegan and sarah Yeah. That's how I know it. I don't know. They're not in the movie, are they?

Yeah, they sing that song. Everything is awesome. Wait, they sing everything is awesome? I think so. Tegan and Sarah? Am I wrong? I have no idea. Yeah.

Cool. I didn't know. I love Tegan and Sarah, but I didn't know that. Well, obviously not that i know i i just i hey i haven't seen the movie um i think that is why maybe i went and saw it i don't know but before people get mad that's technically not the original lego movie they've been making movies for a while i know i don't know what it's called the lego movie okay that's yeah i saw yeah but they've been making i know i looked at a list and I was shocked. I had how many there were.

Laughably? Laughably shocked. No, I was laughably shocked. Wow. List of Lego films and TV series. Like they had one, like the Bionicle ones are technically part of their, under the Lego universe, I guess. Lego, The Adventures of Clutch Powers from 2010. What? Good one. Hero Factory. Like, I don of clutch powers from 2010. What?

Good one. Hero factory. What? Like, I don't know what any of this is, but there's so many, a bunch of short films, some specials,

a lot of specials, like art house, a Lego Atlantis, short films, black and white. I could see them. Those fuckers doing that. Oh,

okay. My next one is of the, uh, this was sent in by Megan and it's of the Lego creator, Those fuckers doing that. Okay. My next one is of the, this was sent in by Megan and it's of the Lego creator three in one birdhouse set. Oh, so it's a Lego birdhouse thing. Okay. And this is a one star review.

When we took it out, it was all in pieces. I was so mad. No two-year-old can put this together. It would be nice if you could have a video attached because I can't even do it and I'm 67. End of review. What 67-year-old doesn't understand what Lego is?

Someone just discovered what Lego is for the first time ever. They're not laughably shocked. They're just shocked. They're just shocked. They're just shocked. And I was like, what two-year-old? I'm like, is this for two-year-old? No. Certainly not.

It's for ages eight and up. As a parent of a two-year-old who like just discovered Duplo, and I think is still technically too young for that. I don't think that a Lego birdhouse is meant for toddlers yeah i i just love that they're like what two-year-old can make this the answer is none and that's fine that thing's probably expensive like who like this is 30 30 bucks oh okay that's not too bad which is nice to see i you know because i feel like there's you see all the like really expensive ones yeah but i'm glad these kinds still exist for the children. That would suck.

For the children. If they got outpriced, you know, and over. Yeah. They deserve it. I feel like maybe that 67 year old went in to buy a gift for their grandchild. And the people were like,

we know just what you'll, you'll like this third house. Cause you're 67. Um, I should make a video. I'm sure somebody did make a video each of the youtube it probably um okay so the two-year-old doing it i was gonna say it's good what's that kid it's gonna be relevant later that kid who does all the toy ryan's toy reviews or whatever who

is that i don't know some famous youtube kid i i believe it or not i'm not too familiar with the youtube kids toy kid toy i can't keep up with what you're familiar with and what you're not so i'm i'm really sorry that i ryan's world it's called uh he has um just uh hold your hold your butt he has let's see 36.3 million subscribers. Jesus. Yeah. Yep. Okay. That's a lot. Yeah, sure. It sure is.

I don't think I had to say that, but what? Indeedy. Yes. That's wild. I am just as confused as you are. I don't think I want to know more about it, so I'm going to close out this tab. Okay. But I kind of do because I'm just curious what it is about Ryan's insight that earned the $33 million.

It's a lot of kids watch it and they get all amped that he's playing with the... I don't know. Okay, yeah, no. I'm not going to find out. I'm just curious and I'm not going to look anything up about him. That's probably good. But hey, good for Ryan, I suppose. Good for Ryan. This is a parent. Okay, so this is anything up about him that's probably good but hey good for ryan i suppose good for ryan this is a parent uh okay so this is a three-star review of the batman lego batman movie as not the batman movie the lego bat to clarify the lego batman movie um three stars by marcus what if you didn't like not you but someone just that's their only knowledge of Batman existing.

Oh. They're like, oh, yeah, Batman. Oh, yeah, Lego Batman. I took my two-year-old to that, and it was so inappropriate. I don't understand. Okay. This is a three-star review by Marcos, and two people found this one helpful. Some guy was caught having sex in the theater which ruined our experience but

from what i saw it wasn't that bad end of review which part that's what i'm saying i need some i i was gonna say i need some clarity but then i'm like maybe i don't want to know um from what i could see it wasn't so bad okay not that it has to be said that's so fucked up at lego batman like children's film choose like if you're gonna do that pick go to the real batman movie like go to the bionicles or whatever you said go to the polar express don't do that actually i know i need it don't need to say that but just for my own sake don't do that it's a weird thought that there's probably a and i didn't need to have this thought but i did have this thought so i'm gonna make sure everyone else thinks it there's a non-zero amount of people who have had sex while the polar express is playing

oh certainly right there which is just not a... It's not a comfy thought. And you know what? Unfortunately, I bet some of them are our listeners. I'm sure there's one of our listeners out there who just for one reason or another, I'm not saying they... Show yourself.

...sought that experience out specifically, but I could see it being a thing. I'm sure it's happened. You know, things happen. You freaks. We don't kink shame if that's your okay unless no unless it's related to polar express that's the only one i'm gonna show you no no no no no um or unless it's like a crowded movie theater full of children maybe also not that i don't know if that would be called a kink but yes i i mean i don't i think that's giving kinks a really bad name you're right

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of clinically proven odor protection free of aluminum parabens, dyes, talc, and baking soda. It's made with pH balancing minerals and crafted with skin conditioning oils. So whether you're going for a run or just running late, do what life throws your way and smell like you didn't. Find Secret at your nearest Walmart or Shoppers Drug Mart today. Alrighty, I have one of my dream Lego set that my dream is to actually build this on stream the mechanic the the light motorized light yes um it looks incredible and it would be so fun to build it

amanda uh jacobs of wine and crime oh texted me that she got that for christmas from no from her husband yeah that's amazing i'm so jealous i said i got my husband a countertop composter but cool my husband didn't give me anything any sort of motorized lighthouse lego what you should say is your husband didn't give me anything but i guess he might have i don't know it's not true i know it's not even true amanda's husband didn't give me oh there we go what's that all about um uh no blaze gave me that cool game i think it's called dialect that like i'm really pumped oh yeah yeah i hope that's fun

no it looks overwhelming it looks intense and i'm excited to try it also i just realized i called her Amanda Jacobs. It's Amanda Jacobson. I apologize. I don't know why I said it. I said that and I went, something's wrong with the way I just said that. And I think it's just because I don't ever say her last name. Yeah, but it's weird because I've never also said her last name.

But if you had just said Amanda. Yeah, if you said that, I'd be like, oh yeah, Amanda, of course. It's just silly anyway oh boy anyway this motorized lighthouse my dream set one day one day um it is three hundred dollars which is why i'm waiting for one day you know i'm good for now i just i can't wait to hold you outside the lego store while you cry into the camera after you've learned a tough light lesson life lesson about how the gift cards work. I was like,

where is this going? What are you talking about? We can recreate that man holding his 10 year old as easy. That sounds so funny. Actually. I feel like we have to go to West Boise. Now we have to do it. Yeah.

It's not in West Boise. I have to go to the Meridian shopping center. I remember all the details. We'll make it happen um everyone bother us until we make everyone send us gift cards to lego the lego store so we can make it happen okay anyway anyway where were we oh the lighthouse here's a one-star review of said lighthouse titled so excited then so disappointed i was so excited to put together this lighthouse i love lighthouses and when lego came out with this i couldn't believe it great build until the end light did not work at all emailed lego and was told they would send a new motor after several back and forths about testing batteries, etc.

Had to take the top section off, then check batteries, which were fine. The rep was great, said they'd send a new motor, then got another email saying that the request was denied. Looks pretty, but doesn't operate. As the rep said, a lighthouse that doesn't light is just a house. And that's just sad. End of review. Oh my God, that is sad. And also, what a...

What a... I don't know. I just keep thinking of Lego employees in the Danish context. And I'm like, man, that's pretty deep. I feel like that... A lighthouse without a light is just a house that's like some sort of like Danish proverb exactly exactly you know they're fisher people over there I feel like that probably is a thing oh yeah say you gotta have a light on your

lighthouse that's got a good amount of lighthouses I feel like that's a pretty yeah there's like a lot of narrow areas up there you know yes yes. I don't know how it works exactly. Indeed. I one time took a ferry through Danish waters. Wow. Yeah. I've never been to Denmark. I was on the water for like an hour.

That's about it. Okay. So that was cool. Nice. Now that I come to think of it that they did have a little gift shop and it was actually duty free because it was uh crossing international borders oh yeah and it was on the ferry and they definitely sold lego and i don't think i put that together at the time but yeah they did sell lego sets in the gift shop on the ferry i wonder what the prices are like

are they cheaper in denmark i'm curious what lego is lego cheaper in denmark huh i wonder if everyone has like you know what i mean like i wonder if it's like just a ubiquitous every household has just yeah because i also learned from this book living danishly which i thought was pretty good uh that there's a very specific um kind of style like a like a housing style and interior design that's all like pretty uniform among danish families and they're also known to be i mean this is obviously speaking broadly but also known to be like extremely tidy and neat and so i wonder how how Lego like kind of fits into that, especially with kind of a place that has very specific and very expensive

fixtures and furniture and very like, you know, Scandinavian design, that kind of thing. I wonder like how Lego fits into that. Like do they store them in a mid-century modern? I was going to say, they probably have all sorts of accessories and things you can put like i feel like yeah you know like they probably have all the doodads all the it's probably one of those things because apparently all not all but many of the danish buildings just have automatically heated floors it's just part of the okay structure of the homes and i wonder like maybe when you move

in there's just built-in lego storage whether you're a child whether you're an adult you know you might need it yeah and then those dumb americans we put our like silverware in it and they're like that's for lego not forks this is how i'm imagining my life would go. I'm imagining them just, the moment you open it, you have to finish it. You can't like leave pieces lying around. Oh, sure. Yeah, you can't have it incomplete. You got to bust it out. Oh my God.

Just get it done. Yeah, no wonder they have that saying about a lighthouse without a light is just a house. A Lego set not built is just blocks. That's detrimental. Bricks society that's what i meant to say speaking anyway okay uh i have one this was sent in by annika she they who said fox makes his grand return and he doesn't oh yeah he Indeed. Fox, who now proud to say it. Elite 2024. Oh, congrats, Fox.

Congrats, Fox. That's like the most obvious candidate. He's like fucking duh. I think like Fox should be a lifer. It doesn't matter. Like Fox can not post for 10 years and will still be elite 2034. Yeah, it'll be like, what do you call it? Like Million Miler Club. Like reach some sort of levels of status that they can't take away. 2034. Yeah, it'll be like a, what do you call it, like Million Miler Club. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like you reach

some sort of levels of status that they can't take away. If that, agree because if that doesn't exist, it should at least just for Fox. Just for Fox, yeah, at the very least. Alright, so Fox actually gave the Lego store three stars and

it is the Chicago Lego store, which incidentally our mom and sister just went to in Water Tower. I think it's called Water Tower Square? Water Tower something? Water Tower Place. Okay. It's a fancy mall. And they went there and they bought Leona a little farm Duplo set.

Nice. And it's very adorable. I love factory farming Duplo sets yeah exactly there's even like a salmon fishery where you just like cram them so um uh so mom had apparently played with her and told her like oh this is like the mommy cow and the baby whatever like mommy mommy horse, daddy horse. And so Leona came into our hotel room with this Lego set. She ran up with a cow and she goes, look, mommy, it's you.

And I went, excuse me? Have you been talking to Oma again? I know. And I looked at mom and she's just laughing. And I'm like, what did you tell my child? She goes, oh, I told her that's a mommy mommy cow and I went it's like so cute but so funny but also like hmm interesting choice interesting choice you could have said about the horse or any of the other sheep I don't know but

but no yeah you are a sheep they could she could have said about yeah yeah or salmon I mean either one so anyway here's a three-star review of the Chicago Lego store. This was written in 2018, so it's a little outdated, but it's three stars. Want to go to the store? Okay. Lego. Just let that have a moment to rest because, you know, we have to get the puns in while we can. Must we? Must we? We must. The Lego store is expensive. It's too expensive. But so is this whole mall.

It's located at Water Tower Place, which is an extremely fancy mall in the north part of the loop right on Michigan. Parking around here is non-existent, so don't even think about it unless you want to shell out a lot of money. That's not a play on words. There's no shell station here my voice dictation just randomly capitalizes things much like america randomly capitalizes on the rest of the world for its own ends ew bringing your kids so i mean i guess it's clear but when he i mean it's not clear but i guess it's clear he wrote, if you want to shell out a lot of money in his phone, auto capitalized shell. That's a place.

Yeah. Okay. And I guess he happened to be watching as it did that and felt the need to describe it as he was speaking. Anyway, bringing your kids here can be great for them but if they start wanting to buy stuff here then forget about it unless you're loaded or in so much debt that you don't care anymore which seems more likely these days because you'll need a lot of money just to make that happen it's like any other lego store is but just feels a little bit more fancy like charlie xcx and iggs. End of review. Okay. Wow. And then there is a photo of the Lego store that is captioned,

Leg Day, Lego. I'm... I'm... Hey, it's Fox. Are you laughably shocked? Because I am. I'm not that shocked. And also, I do, hmm.

I weirdly appreciate that just little thing of like, yeah, just like America does. Yeah, of course you do. But like. I mean, because it's Fox. Fox can do no wrong. Fox is. Unlike America. Correct.

Which does a lot of wrong. See, I'm being like Fox. It feels great. Yeah. I, you know, I feel like we did get some insight though, because we now, we now are aware, at least in 2018, that he voice to texted his reviews. So that's something that I. That's a good point.

Right. Like I hadn't imagined it that way. Yeah. That's interesting. I wonder what it was was if that was like actually just normal and we just didn't know until now like there's no way charlie xcx like knew like correctly spelled that out with voice to text so some of it must have either been like it seems like a lot of work edited afterwards at least afterwards at least. Yeah. No, you're right. Or look, maybe seems like a lot of work, but for someone like Fox, maybe it's not.

For us, everyone listening knows how we are. We talk, we can't get through a sentence without jumbling things a lot of the time. So for us, I think the idea of this sounds so daunting. Yes. But maybe Fox is just an expert, an expert orator? Orator. And maybe he says Charlie XCX so often that his Siri is like,

I know what you're saying. We're talking about Charlie again. Hey, Spotify, do you know this artist? It's like, oh boy, do I. Won't stop listening. Yeah, it's like the Lego store, but just a little bit more fancy. I guess. Exactly't stop listening. Yeah, it's like the Lego store, but just a little bit more fancy.

I guess. It's exactly the same thing. Anyway, Fox had also written another Lego store review, but this one was definitely the winner, so I went with this one. Nice. Fox is just reviewing everything. What else is new? What else is new? what else is new what else is new okay my next one is of sonic the hedgehog green hill zone which is a set that i built on stream really so i have played this one was 80 so it was not cheap

but um i did build it on stream where did you did you purchase it at the lego store or did you buy it online i was in cincinnati so i think i went to the lego store okay did you buy it online? I was in Cincinnati. So I think I went to the Lego store. Okay. Did you wait in line? Because every time I see the Lego store, there's a line. No. I have never had to wait in the line. Whenever I went to the Lego store.

Oh, because you have that VIP pass. I do. I do have a VIP, like a Lego club card or something. I forget what it's called. But that's whatever. Yeah. If I go when there's a line, I would skip it easy, but, um, skip the line or you'd skip going to the store, skip the line. But, um, in this case and most, I think in every case that I've intended to go

to the Lego store, there's never been a line. Weird. I don't't know i just have good timing that's all anyway um sonic the hedgehog it's really it's it's like looks like green hill zone sonic's in there um uh dr eggman man you paint a beautiful picture thanks it's beautiful there's a crab there's one of those like uh checkpoint things that you go through that spin. You know, one of those is there. A couple of those like little computers that have power-ups. I like Sonic. I like that game. There's like a loop-de-loop. Me too. Me too. On stream we're talking about Rayman. Not Rayman. Well, we were today. But we were talking about Spyro. No, we weren't talking about Spyro. We were talking about Spyro.

Oh, yeah. I love Spyro. And I think I'm going to play a Spyro remastered on stream at some point. Spyro is fun. It's so fucking, I miss that. I love that game and I'd love to play remasters. I don't think I ever beat it on PlayStation 1 when we played. I don't think I ever beat Spyro. I'm sure I did.

I'm sure you did. eat Spyro. I'm sure I did. I'm sure you did. Anyway, here's a one-star review that I found of this Sonic the Hedgehog Lego set, which is my favorite one that I own. Oh, sorry, two stars. I got this to work on while watching a friend's dog. Lego sets are usually stress-free and very fun which i'm like i'm sorry for me maybe it's just me i feel like i'm stressed every time i build lego

sets yeah i mean it's an instruction manual which inherently to me adds a little bit of uh discomfort just generally speaking but that's what I'm thinking. Okay, yeah. I read that and I was like, really? I wish. Unlikely. I've enjoyed building the Mario block and ship in the bottle while dog sitting. I thought stickers wouldn't be so bad and turns out I was wrong.

The stickers have ruined the joy I feel building this Lego set. It went from building a cool and iconic piece of Sonic history to a super stressful project I'm walking away from. If this wasn't supposed to be a display set, I wouldn't care. But now there's a glaring flaw because I'm human and made a mistake. I shouldn't have to use outside chemicals to move a sticker to a better position. In the future, please consider raising the price $20 to $50 and printing custom pieces over cheap stickers.

Even adding extra stickers in the box would go a long way. End of review. Okay, I am surprised that this person is recommending they up the price before any other advice. Second of all that seems like okay counterintuitive second of all yeah just add extra stickers and then you can

take it off and redo it that would be nice if they could if they had that because i i'm like i don't totally disagree with it i i find the sticker so frustrating because i am particularly bad i also have very shaky hands just in general. I'm just like a very shaky person. Um, especially when I'm trying to do something precise, that's when I shake the most. So I mess up the, the Sonic stickers. I for sure messed up. I mean, are they just, and there were a lot of them or whatever. No, the rings are actually not stickers. Those are actual like rings. Um, examples of stickers, the little computer. Oh, I think I want to say all of the, Oh yeah. I think it was like the checkerboard design on the dirt.

Like there was like the same color Brown and you had to put that on. It was like very, I'm pretty sure that was to create a pattern with stickers. Forget it. I feel like that's a little, it wasn't all of them, but yeah, I'm pretty sure it was something like that.

And then there was stickers on the computer and like stickers on the bugs face. And yeah. I mean, it wasn't all of them, but yeah, I'm pretty sure it was something like that. And then there was stickers on the computer and like stickers on the bug's face. And yeah. I mean, I'm the same way though, where if I had done that crookedly and then put it on display, it would bother me every single time. And it's not even that I like, I was going to say my OCD does not manifest in that way typically, but like it definitely would irritate me if I looked at it and went, oh, it's crooked. You know, that would really bother me. So I feel their pain.

I agree. And it feels particularly frustrating when you're doing it. And it's just like just off a little because you can tell. You can tell when it's off even a little. You can feel it. I feel also it sounds like they've sought outside help because they did say i shouldn't have to use a chemical to remove a sticker and i'm like yeah is that what danish hr well okay it wouldn't be hr huh uh is that what the danish uh representatives told you to do

i don't know yeah no maybe a reddit said In their mind, it was like that was maybe the only option or something because they couldn't like pick it off or something. I just went to confirm in the manual. So it's not that you have to put in like the individual squares, but like the sides, you have like a sheet of like checkered pattern. So you have to like line it up with the edges kind of. Yes. Okay. Very much so. And like, yeah and did they include a

photo the person no damn it i wanted to mock their shoddy work and like honestly if you looked at mine um i'm pretty sure you'd be like yeah he messed up some parts what a shaky person i would say um so all i have left sandy is a redemption how many legos i have two redemptions left oh okay perfect uh do you want me to read mine um sure or let me let me read i'll read one because i just did the sonic and mine's my first one is a five star of the sonic wonderful okay here we go gotta go fast if you are a fan of the sonic. Wonderful. Okay. Here we go. Gotta go fast. If you are a fan of the Sonic games,

the Sonic movies, Legos, or like myself, all of them, this is your set. It perfectly resembles Green Hill Zone and is instantly recognizable. The characters Sonic, Crabmeat, and Motobug, which I did not know they had names. It's like the crab and the little flying bug but why would you name it crab meat that's it's pretty funny is it i don't know okay sure yeah i don't know is that was that not part of leona's farm her dupe i knew you were

gonna say that it was part of her duplo. There was like one stray crab meat in the salmon fishery. Yeah, it's too bad. She's like, look, it's Uncle Sandy. It's you. So true. The characters Sonic, Crabmeat, and Motobug are all very good and look great. Dr. Robotnik is also very good. I wish his head was designed better,

but other than that, he looks great. Now let's talk about the set. All of the details are incredible. The landscape, the rings, the loop, the bridge, the lamppost, the palm tree, the sunflower, the TVs, the spring, Robotnik's flight pod. It's amazing. I played Green Hill Zone from Sonic 1 after I built the set, and it just proved how accurate it is. I love the instruction manual and how the cover is the opening scene from Sonic 1, but I found it odd that neither Sonic 3 nor Sonic & Knuckles are on the timeline. They were the important games that shaped the character Knuckles, after all. Anyway, I hope LEGO doesn't stop there. This could be a whole series. They could add more characters, like Tails, Knuckles, and Supersonic and make more zones such as Chemical Plant, Marble Garden, and Flying Battery. But overall, this is an eye-catching masterpiece and is worth every dollar. 10 out of

10 would 100% recommend. You should add $20 to the MSRP because apparently that's what we're doing now is telling Lego to up their prices. Wow, xandy i yeah i mean at first i thought wow this is so nice and then i started to get a little concerned and i kind of well i just kind of i'm i'm like wow they're they're in it they're in the sonic verse like deep you know as they should be yeah sure uh so remember that game we played the sonic game where you had to raise little guys? Oh, I don't think so. On what platform? Okay.

I don't remember. Like on the computer? It was either PS2 or GameCube. It's like a video game? Might have been GameCube or PS2. You had to raise? There were like little, okay, yes. There were like different parts of the game,

but like one of it was you had like a little area and I always forget what they're called. I feel like I brought this up on my stream so many times. It's probably in that list this guy said. He listed out every character. No, it's like these eggs that you, like they have to hatch. I mean, it sounds like something

I would be really all about so i'm surprised i don't remember this but oh are they chows i don't say it c-h-a-o c-h-a-o up against all odds i really don't know what that is um yeah well they're little characters and then you have them they're little pets and stuff oh that's fun and they're really cute and yeah i remember these characters i'm looking at them but i don't yeah yeah see yeah but i don't remember actually i would have loved to be you know mothering them or whatever you said we did and they oh i mothered them you mothered them for the both of us i did i did i yeah i double mothered them cool mothered them and smothered them oh god okay so this with love don't get all

you knew i meant that of course i did okay just read a review okay this is a redemption um of the lego website and it is a review from common sense media you're doing lego so in the Sonic mode, I was like, yeah. You've, you've, first we went like Polar Express. Then we went Sonic, like hard into the Sonic verse. But now we're back to Lego. I apologize. But this redemption, I mean,

okay. Just, yes. Just let me know what you think. Okay. I always do. Whether you ask me to or not. I don't know why I always prompt you me know what you think okay uh i always do whether you ask me i don't know why i always prompt you to say what you think before the review i don't know like why that's necessary um one day i'll forget and you'll just be silent and you'll be like you never told me

what to do um anyway this is a redemption from common Sense Media of the Lego website. And this is by a kid, allegedly. And the name of the user is Lego Fan. And it says, appropriate for ages three and up, five stars. This was written three years ago. The title of this review is, subscribe leo's epic legos hey kids oh no that's just such a bad start i get so sketched i'm so uncomfortable what's happening hey kids i'm a fellow kid it just is like so anyway. Okay. Hey, kids. Since you are Lego fans, I would recommend you to subscribe to Leo's Epic Legos.

Leo's Epic Legos is a YouTube channel that has some really fun Lego videos. And the best part is Leo does not work with Lego sets. Leo uses his imagination to create new Legos and figurines. Leo is a little boy who wants... Wait, okay. Don't look it up yet. I know you're searching it. I will never look. I never want to look this up. That was not my instinct. I promise. Because I already did it. I'm terrified. I'm sure. But no, I'm... For a second when you were like, he does not use Lego sets,

I was like, then why are you even here? We're talking about, like, the Lego website. What are you doing? I realize now it means, like, making custom builds out of, like, Lego bricks, but making custom things not by the instructions. Okay. I was, like, so confused. I was like, why?

I won't name the specific marvel characters he makes even though i do know them um so that's unfortunate what kids are lurking around the common sense media lego.com review site is that is are there a lot of reviews for this uh for that website yeah really yeah i feel like i just didn't realize there was a subset of like website reviews well apparently i read a lot about the lego realize that there was a subset of like website reviews. Well, apparently I read a lot about the Lego website. Apparently there was a time where it was like pretty, there were games on it and stuff and you could like, there was a forum, but apparently I almost included a review, but I didn't end up keeping it. But there's a forum where you can post about the Lego sets you've built, etc. However, you are not allowed to talk about the real world.

So if you're in each post has to be approved by a moderator. So it takes like two to three days before your post even goes anywhere. So it seems like it's just not a very effective platform. That's probably a good thing. That's probably a very good thing to have. I know. And people, kind of the comments tended to say, oh, it's pretty safe because there's not much wiggle room to talk about anything else on there besides Lego. Yeah.

And when it's geared towards kids, especially, I think that's the best thing to do. I mean, internet's fucking scary. And I will also say, I mean, there's 26 kid reviews of the Lego website, but a lot of them are just like, I love Legos. So I feel like not all of them are specifically about the website. They're not like, the user experience of this website yeah there's a lot to be desired there's a little bit however i will also add that um a lot of people will buy a lego set from the lego website and get so excited that they then go to for some reason common sense media to say how exciting this website let me buy a lego but it won't let me talk about it

how exciting this website let me buy a Lego. But it won't let me talk about it. Well, let me talk about all my real world issues. So I came here instead. Yeah. And so in this case of the review you're reading right now, it's like, oh,

they want to prove my posts where I'm being, I'm trying to get kids to watch my YouTube channel. So I'm going to go to common sense media instead. Yeah. Cause they'll, they're more lax on their, you know, on their rules about the outside world.

I can tell just from all the reviews you've read. They're crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah. Here we go. Leo's Epic Legos is a YouTube channel that has some really fun Lego videos.

And the best part is Leo does not work with Lego sets. He uses his imagination to create new legos and figurines leo is a little boy who wants to spread his creativity through legos just like you do please go to his channel and hit that subscribe button he may be a small youtuber now but one day he will be great so if you don't mind come check his channel out if you like ryan's World, see? Gasp. 36 million. I'm so glad you told me. Because I'd be like, what? Who's Ryan?

I'm so glad that it just came up earlier. I mean, maybe I just forced it into the conversation. But I feel like it sort of came up. And I'm glad to know. I assumed you'd know about it. You literally texted me, let's make sure to talk about Ryan's World in the first 10 minutes. Yeah, you're right. We made it sound very natural if that were the case.

Honestly. That almost be more impressive. I kind of want to go back and listen. There's nothing impressive happening about this. I'm sorry. I said that. Okay. What are we talking about?

I don't know. Oh my God. He may be a small YouTuber now, but one day he will be great. So if you don't mind, come check his channel out. If you like Ryan's world, you will like Leo's channel too. Thanks for reading this review.

I know you came here for a Lego review, but I'm really sorry. I didn't know how to tell people that his channel is really good and that he deserves more attention. End of review. Okay. Thoughts?

Feelings? My first thought. So first, I forgot that you had said earlier when we had that really long tangent. I forgot that you had started the next part where it says, Ryan is a little boy. Not Ryan. Sorry. God damn it. Ryan is a little boy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what you texted me earlier when I said, why what's Ryan's world? He said, Ryan is a little boy. He's a little boy. And the best part is he doesn't use Legos. Wait, what the fuck? What's the point? No. Um, so, um, I forgot you said that he's a little boy. So now I'm like, is he the dad? Like, is he like, I'm weirdly thinking maybe like an older brother.

So, yeah, because it feels like a kid still. But I went to Leo's Epic Legos, of course, to figure out what's happening. It has 17 subscribers and two videos. That's it. And they were both posted three years ago and i watched both of them and i want to subscribe now i i wouldn't i don't know uh it just feels i don't know here's what i'll say this child is very young. Like, I mean, maybe seven. I don't know. Pretty little. So I feel like whoever wrote this is either a parent, but like you said, it kind of doesn't.

It feels like, I don't know, an older sibling. Like a 13 year old, maybe. Who like probably uses common sense media as a like or like for their school or something like they might have had because i went on well they they clearly made a separate profile because it's called lego fan and then that's the only review oh i see so however they could be yeah like you said somebody who has used this common sense media before i feel bad in my head i was like this is an adult and then i'm now i like, not sure. I mean, it might be. It seems like an adult

until it gets to, in my opinion, it seems like an adult until it gets to, I'm really sorry. I didn't know how to tell people that a channel is really good. Yeah, and I feel bad

because I heard that line and I'm like, oh, wait, this sounds kind of like, oh, someone's actually trying to support the channel. Yeah, I think it might be. I feel like an asshole. I think it might be a sibling or something. I mean, it's actually trying to support the channel. Yeah. I think it might be. You feel like an asshole.

I think it might be a sibling or something. I mean, it's a little silly. It is silly. It's still there and his two videos are still there. But, you know, he's a very young child. So, like, let's not. It feels weird. Bother. Yeah, I don't want to get involved on Leo's Epic Legos.

I just feel like let's leave this child alone, you know? I mean, since he hasn't posted in three years. Yeah, exactly, because it's not active. Like, if you were, like, getting some subscribers. If he wanted more subscribers right now. If he was, like, looking for them right now, yeah. Actively posting, maybe. But I don't want to just get in there, you know?

I see what you're saying. So that is, that's that. So that is, that's that. only no purchase necessary visit the tim's app for details today something is coming kong godzilla they can feel it fight together it's human up or face extinction godzilla kong the new empire now playing only in theaters well i'm gonna go to the other side of things. Uh-oh. I have a five-star review that was sent in by Abby. And this is of the Lego Ideas pop-up book. Ooh!

Which is very cute. So it's basically this book that says on the front, Once Upon a Brick. That's cute. And it's like a nice like a nice looking book and then you open it and inside is a lego scene like it's a pop-up lego scene that's cute yeah so in this example picture maybe this is the only kind like one of these there might be i don't know if it's okay yeah this one you open it and it's a Jack and the Beanstalk. So this whole beanstalk goes up. Wait, and it's made of Legos? Yeah. Wow. Oh wait, no, no. There's

also, oh, it's like different fairy tales because the other one, and I think this is actually the one from the review now that I think of it. There's like a little red riding hood one. And so it's a little house as a pop-up book. You open it and it pops up and it's a little house facade. And then the wolf is chasing the grandma and the little red riding hood is standing there. She was like, just watching a bystander. Just looking at actually looking the other way, being like, if the wolf gets her, the wolf gets her. Wow.

Yep. I mean, that grandma probably baked a bunch of children into her up in her oven i don't know why i said into her oven but they're in the walls sorry i'm sorry you should be what the fuck i don't know i i just feel like there's probably a reason that uh little red riding hood is um ignoring the crisis at hand yeah true no i i see what you're saying there's also another example picture so they just set it up that way um but because there's another example um where it's like the wolf is like opening the door and little red riding hood is there like

clearly the wolf and the grandma's like around the corner hiding, like pressed up against the wall. Oh, so you can almost write your own narrative about. So it looks like the wolf's about to get Little Red Riding Hood and the grandma's like, oh, just leave me out of it. Oh, but you open it and you build it, right? It's not like, in my head. It's just the three figurines.

You can put them wherever. But yeah, yeah. You build, you build. I think you also build the book. Oh, okay. Sorry. It's just the three figurines. You can put them wherever, but yeah, yeah. You build, you build, I think all of them. I think you also build the book. Oh, okay. Sorry. It's no,

no. I thought it was just a book and then you open it like a normal pop-up book and like Lego beanstalk comes out. And I was like, I don't know how in God's green earth. No, this is a set you build. Gotcha.

You build a pop-up book, which I think is really cool. That is cool. It's a cool concept. Yeah. Unless I'm wrong. And like, it doesn't actually work as a pop-up book which i think is really cool that is cool a cool concept yeah unless i'm wrong and like it doesn't actually work as a pop-up book but that's and i just went and like looked at it because i just wanted a visual and i also see the one with the wolf chasing the grandma yeah but it

says great for role play i'm like that's weird I'm literally going to, I don't know if this is the one you looked at. Throw on the Polar Express and take out your Lego pop-up book. But they're all, especially if you're dog sitting, you know, you got some time on your hands. I never even commented about that guy only doing Lego when he's dog sitting. That's a good time to do it i think like you're like yeah i don't have access to my computer i mean i love a puzzle i feel like it's the same kind of vibe right like yeah but yeah here's the picture i just sent it to you of like what i'm looking at my phone no i don't know if that's the same thing that you are looking

at um yeah that's exactly great for role play i thought that's interesting um but yeah you nailed it create your own version yeah yeah yeah so it's cool i i mean i'm honestly i never considered myself a lego person but i i'm someone who loves puzzles and things so i'm like maybe i would enjoy to do a lego set every now and then yeah i know yeah i think you would i just got i just got tim one for christmas you did um yeah john deere one because oh yeah tractor and it was done the next day like he did it already and it was done i mean already he did it literally immediately yeah and it i mean the the one like thing you can do is you can like lift and uh lower the the bed like it has a trailer you can like lift and uh lower the the bed like it has a trailer

you can like lift and learn and it like rolls obviously it's a tractor but yeah it's like really cool like i thought when it was fully built it like was really solid i think you'd really enjoy a lot of the way there's something really pretty like the the the different plants and i love something i can display and that's always been my thing about puzzles is like i'm not one to frame a puzzle right but i'm always like well now what so you know it's kind of fun that you can actually put it on display and set your anxiety alight every time you look at the crooked stickers you put on it there you go anyway sorry go ahead oh yeah man we are five years of my five-star review that I have of this pop-up book. Great. My first Lego kit.

I am 59. And it was amazing. It was fun, challenging to my visual and fine motor skills. I used online instructions so that I could zoom in. That was very helpful. Oh, smart. I am awed by the creativity and engineering that goes into a kit like this. I definitely think it takes some patience and focus to build. At one point, I could not find one piece.

Then I stepped on it and was on my way. I can't wait for my next kit to arrive. On my way to hell because I was screaming bloody murder. I think in the email when Abby sent, by the way, Abby sent this, I know I said this at the beginning, think that's been so long yeah yeah i want to i want to make sure we need a refresher we were yeah so abby when abby sent in the email i believe um it mentioned stepping on a lego like the subject i think and when i opened it i did not expect a five-star review no certainly not yeah i think i saw that subject and i was like i don't need that negativity in my life. But it sounds like this is actually.

One of the most painful things ever. Yeah, this is actually like a positive, I don't know the right word, when something bad happens and then. Positive connotation? No, like, you know, it's a good outcome from a bad situation. Silver lining. A silver lining.

Sure. Yeah. I stepped on a Lego, but it was one that I was looking for. What a silver lining. That sounds like a silver lining. That's right. That's how I would say it. Time for my challenge.

Okay. Don't worry, everyone. I only have like four of these. But it was actually really good i really liked this was sent by jody the challenge find reviews where someone felt inconvenienced by the business being robbed right and like i really like it um and but i like also was like oh god like these poor places that i like are dealing with robberies you know and i um thankfully there was nothing that i saw that was like i don't know it's all terrible yeah i mean it sounds traumatizing it's a very traumatizing thing to happen certainly yeah um so but here is here are some wild reviews of people just like throwing it in there that this place was just like a casual side note here is a one

star review this is a laptop show in uh fontana california it's like an it services like like phone repair you break i fix i break you fix whatever i always forget what it's called i don't think is that the full name of it? you break I fix you break I fix I break you fix whatever no no no I just never remember which order I know

I'm like no let me explain obviously that's not right I've listened shut up you break I fix I fix you break

you break I fix I break you fix whatever whatever what the people come in they break something like here fix it or you're not getting out of my they're like well now that i've fixed your iphone screen i need you to do something for me fix my heart and then it's they just these people need some emotional fix my trauma we just got robbed. Oh, God. True. Right?

Okay. Yeah. That's what we're about to do right here. Us. Fix it. One star review of this laptop place. I ended up meeting the owner when his place was getting robbed. I helped him chase off the jerk that took three of his laptops that were showcased on display. I had originally had three computers being fixed at iFix4U,

but took them back and tried to give this place a chance because they took two months and still didn't fix my computer. Took my computer here late February, early March, and since the coronavirus, I've been trying to get a hold of them since. Went in April and left several messages. They have two computers and took my 150 when I was supposed to be charged only 140. But I took off so fast, didn't realize I was overcharged. And they said that $10 credit will go towards the other computer. If I don't hear from them soon, I'll report fraud or extortion for telling me to rush to give them the money so they can immediately fix my computer. And it's already going into two months.

This is insane. Please contact me ASAP. Whoa. So this is like I rob, rob i rob we get robbed we rob you yes cool yeah yeah exactly what it is also like how do you mean you met the owner while they were being robbed and that's why i was like okay this person's really not complaining but the fact they throw in the fact that this place was robbed with like zero empathy really it was just kind of like oh yeah like this happened and then they're like what the terminology like i rush out of there so fast i'm like did you run out with three people's laptops yeah i'm confused are you the one who robbed did you you know do that thing where you

grabbed it and then you took off your mask and came back and said what happened i tried to catch him are you in a vulnerable state right now because i need this computer fix and the guy goes that computer looks a lot like the one i just had on display five minutes ago yeah because he tripped and fell in the parking lot and broke one. He's like, oh, shit. I gotta get back in. He's gotta fix it. Oh, boy. Yeah. I feel like that's exactly how it went. So I only have a doubt about that. Okay. Perfect. Time to move on. So this is the second one that I found. And then I have two from emails. This is of a McDonald's in Linwood, Washington. And I will say, this was really difficult, especially because of the terminology, a got robbed being like constantly used for overcharge or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So most forms of robbery, like robbing anything, showed up just normal reviews that were really boring.

So there were a lot of things to wade through. And some of them, mine aren't perfect. just normal reviews that were really boring. So there were a lot of things to wade through. And so, and some of them, mine aren't perfect, but here's, this one, this is a, this is a one-star review of a McDonald's.

Well, that was weird. I don't know if they were getting robbed or if they were messing with me or what. Showed up at 345 to go inside and have lunch. And the doors were locked. Some lady inside kept pointing at the door. So I pulled three more times.

That's not what that means. It's like, this is what I've been pulling. Okay. Let me keep trying. Okay. Whatever. Then she walked over and pointed at a doorbell button that you push.

Since when did McDonald's have doorbell buttons that you have to push? After pushing the doorbell button, then a lady opened the door and said they were closed until four. Huh? I got in my truck to leave, and as I drove around the building, there were people getting food through the drive-thru. How are they getting food from the drive-thru if you're closed? Strangest McDonald's experience in my life. End of review. Wow, that is an inconvenience. I mean, obviously they're just exaggerating, but they were like, are they getting robbed?

And then they're just like, yeah, just left. Are they getting robbed? Either way, I'm going to keep trying to go into the building over and over and over again. Are they getting rob because they're about to be yeah i want a 3 30 p.m lunch um and i can't i mean i guess it's not that weird to close the what i'm wondering yeah is it just like they close it for like a certain amount of time for cleaning during the day like before the dinner rush just specifically close the lobby and not i don't know i love how she's like ring the doorbell and then he rings the doorbell and she's like you can't come in thanks for following the rules but you're still not allowed in that makes me laugh like i yeah couldn't she have just gone over and opened it

like yeah probably why why yeah you have to summon me first with the correct button yeah yeah yeah i'm not gonna tell you i'm not gonna tell you now until you figure out how to i'm going to but you don't know that yet oh right um here's a here's a one sent in by abby this is of a one-star review of a Great Clips. This is in Grand Rapids, Minnesota. They gave me the worst hair. I'm not even going to post a picture. First, the store got robbed. Then they made a mistake.

And now I'm bald. I hate them so much. And I would never recommend this ever. I hate it. Just stupid. And first of all, my grandma died from a heart disease. Then that same day I got that hair. It's so bad.

End of review. Oh my God. Yeah. What a traumatic day. That was a bad haircut. And nothing else. Yeah. Wow.

It's like grandma dies and you're like, really grandma? After this day I've had, you had to go have a heart attack? Maybe she looked at his. It was because she was fleeing the police after robbing the police. Oh, I thought it was because he walked into her nursing home and she went, what happened to your hair? You're bald. You know, a lot of ways this story can go. I didn't even think of that when you were saying that.

Yeah. But yeah. But yeah. And the place got robbed. And so they took the, you know, razor shave. What's this thing? That's wild. The razor and just like.

Maybe. Sounds like a sitcom. Sounds like a sitcom. It does. It does sound like a sitcom. And I wish it were. For our sitcom that we're working on. Oh, shit. About our grandma sitcom that we're working on. Oh, shit.

About our grandma dying because we're so ugly. Now that is a German fairy tale that we should be writing. No wonder the little fairy, what's her name? Little Red Riding Hood was turned away. She was like, I don't want to be part of this. If grandma dies, it's not my fault. Grandma has a terrible haircut. She deserves it. She honestly shouldn't have grabbed that great clips if she didn't want to get

eaten by a wolf murdered who wants to dress in her clothes that's my role play everybody okay so leave me alone okay tmi i'm sorry like We don't need to know that. Oh man. All those orifices. Okay. Here is a one star. You started it. I did. Here is a one star review. This was sent in by Olivia of a dollar general. It just says hilltop. Why does it say that? It's on a hill. It's in Columbus, Ohio. Okay.

Okay. Is that an area in Columbus? Probably. It is. Never heard of it. That's exciting. Okay. I don't know any region in Columbus.

Oh, I do. I know nationwide. Okay. I know German village. That's a thing. I know German village. That's a thing. I believe it. I have to try and convince you. It wasn't that crazy.

Why would you break that up? German village. Yeah. In Ohio. Columbus, Ohio. Sounds right to me. Okay. Here is a one star review.

I have had a bad experience while shopping here. While I was shopping, the place gets robbed in broad daylight, and manager has a gun pointed at his head. Dizzy eye emoji. This place is always very unorganized, dirty, and shelves are never stocked. Plus, employees always running around, not dressed to impress, looking like crackheads. In my opinion, they really need to close this location down. It's unsafe.

End of review. Yeah, there's little, very little to zero empathy in this review. Is there a response or anything? Nope. So, okay, yeah. So you're just upset that the employees don't look they're wearing their Sunday best? Yeah. Like let them.

First of all, at a dollar store. Second of all, that's getting. You're like, oh, there's never any stuff on the shelves. Yeah, because they keep getting robbed, you asshole. Like, and i can't believe your thought after this experience was to go home and write a one-star review like i just like it's shocking be like you know what this gun to the owners to the manager's head that's the final straw i'm gonna tell the world how much i hate this place time to tell the world it's like okay

you'd think that would turn things around the other way like oh wow she picked up her cell phone she's like calling and they're like, like, are you calling the police? She's like, Oh no, I'm posting. I'm voiced to texting.

Oh no. Shell shouldn't be capitalized. Um, wowza. Yeah. That's like, uh, that's pretty damn cold.

I don't know a better word. That's pretty damn cold. Man. And this is, it really, I don't know. The fucking, the, the this is it really i don't know the fucking the dress code shit i don't know this is beyond me why anyone cares what someone has a gun to the manager's head and you're like wow a baseball cap not when i was young i would never have worn that

to work my parents taught me to respect my elders you gotta look good for the robbers you gotta look good uh yeah if i were getting robbed frequently at my place of work i certainly wouldn't um prioritize my daily outfit fashion yeah yeah yeah terrible i wouldn't do it no matter what. If I were working anywhere and I didn't get robbed frequently, I also wouldn't put much thought into my daily outfit choices. So that's my contribution today. Is that helpful?

Yeah, actually, I learned a lot. I think that was a really valuable lesson for us all. It's a little more valuable than learning that Lego does not accept Lego gift cards. Yeah, I'm upset about that still a little bit. Yeah. It sounds like we now need to take a picture of you holding me in front of a dollar general. Yeah, we did kind of commit to that bit a little too hard for my liking. Yeah, because now I'm thinking, yeah and now i'm thinking you might

have to do a dollar general one columbus isn't that far though so we could go to that exact one oh okay um we could go there and wear our sunday wear our finest wear our sunday best i'll i'll hold you in your tuxedo as you cry it'll be i think pretty cool I'll hold you in your tuxedo as you cry. It'll be, I think, pretty cool. Stupid. I don't even remember what we're talking about anymore. I don't know.

I'm just saying things out. I blacked out the last 10 minutes. I am just saying things aloud that aren't really relevant. Well, that was my last review. Oh, okay. Well, you did a very good job. Don't worry, everybody. You did a very good job. Don't worry, everybody. You did a very good job. Meanwhile, I just opened the Lego store and I found that they are selling a general store for pre-order.

And I'm nothing if not a huge. A dollar general store? Oh, my God. There's nothing on the shelves and everyone looks like crap. It must be a dollar general store. Oh, boy. No, look, I'm going to send you a photo because I really want this thing. Because I love the Wild West.

Keep talking before I look at this because I'm still picturing a Dollar General. And you're saying how much you want this. I just kind of adore it. Oh, yeah. I love that vulture. I love the vulture. And I just love a Wild West kind of vibe, you know? I love the rocking chair on the porch.

Yes. Cracker Barrel vibes. I'm just all about it. But it's in pre-order right now. But it's also quite expensive. So we'll see how much this edible kicks in before I decide whether or not I absolutely need it. We'll see. We'll see. The night is young. The night is young. not I absolutely need it. We'll see. We'll see.

The night is young. The night is young. I think you deserve it. Thank you. That's all I wanted to hear. Yeah. If you want to fund her general store, go to patreon.com. Please don't.

Beach to Sandy. Everyone on Patreon is like, fuck this. I'm canceling. I swear I'm not embezzling 160 dollars yeah okay so it must be kind of big though yeah well it comes also with a covered wagon um and some horses now now you're talking those are you at least six easy 60 alone so what i mean i think that and that general store is worth 150 i'd say that's my math just i also would say that so so you're getting a 210 build for girl maths is that how

that works yep i don't know what i don't know that one that well i think that's right okay i don't know most maths, but. Yeah, and then I'll get the lighthouse one day. If we get enough Patreon. I'm kidding. We're embezzling funds to fund our Lego purchases. Once I can afford healthcare, then next will be. Next will be the Lego lighthouse.

All right. What did Fox say? You're either really rich or you're so broke that you don't give a shit anymore. So it could be either way. You know what I mean? So true. Oh, okay. What did that Fox giving us the real lesson all along? That's right.

We should have. We should have known. We should have known. Why did we even try? Alrighty. Thank you everyone for being here. Um, we appreciate you.

I promise. We do. We do. Not just monetarily, but otherwise as well. Yes. That's what I was trying to say. It almost feels worse when I say that.

Yeah. I know. We're saying too many words. We should have, I should have said, we appreciate you. You would have said, yep, see ya. This was fun. The end.

Should we try it again? Yeah, sure. All right. Thanks so much, everyone, for being here. We appreciate you. It's only five bucks on, anyway. Son of a gun. Son of a gun.

Just kidding. We do appreciate you. You know, we love you, et cetera. You get the vibe. You get the gist. Yeah. Yeah, you get it. All righty.

Bye. Bye-bye. Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet is a Forever Dog production. Hosted and produced by Zandy and Christine Schieffer. It's edited by Marco Padilla. Cover art by Courtney Aventura. Theme music by Mavis White. Executive produced by Mariah Nicholas.

Forever Dog Productions is Joe Cilio, Alex Ramsey, and Brett Boehm.