Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 279: Review of Paint and Sips

Episode Date: April 3, 2024

Description: We're not sure who's at fault in most of these paint-and-sip debacles, but it's probably Jude Law.  ***COME SEE US LIVE!*** https://beachtoosandy.com/ Look at what we have in store!��https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Support us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thextinefiles Xandy's Stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This NBA season make every three-pointer alley-oop and buzzer beater even more exciting with FanDuel. Download the app today to see why we're North America's number one sportsbook. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gamling.com call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca Welcome to Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet. sandy water to wet. A podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me I wanted to like this podcast but I'd give it zero stars if I could. Howdy! Hi everyone, welcome to episode 279 of Beach Dew Sandy Water Touette.

We're here with a very, very, very, very, very exciting announcement. Wee! We're going live again. 12 times. We have 12 shows, very, very exciting announcement. Wee, we're going live again. 12 times, we have 12 shows this summer, y'all. That's crazy, we did eight last year and we're doing four extra, we're doing 12. I'm so excited and also already so tired, so excited. Yeah.

Mostly excited. By this point, I think we'll have the list on our website somewhere uh, somewhere maybe, uh, where it's tickets aren't on sale until the fifth, but I'm going to read through them now. So, you know what cities we're going to. Uh, here we go. And I'll give the dates as well. June 12th, Seattle, Washington.

June 13th, Portland, Oregon. June 26th, Charlotte, North Carolina. June 27th, Atlanta, Georgia. July 10th, Denver, Colorado. July 11th, Salt Lake City, July 17th, Columbus, Ohio, July 18th, Cincinnati, Ohio, July 31st, Philadelphia, August 1st, Washington, D.C., August 15th, Chicago, Illinois, August 16th, St. Louis, Missouri. End of list. You forgot to say Philadelphia. I did not say Miss Philadelphia.

I mean, not Philadelphia. Did I really? Pennsylvania. Oh yeah, and I also forgot to say Utah after Salt Lake City. Oh, okay. Well, so that's where we're going. I'm sorry, we're not going to Philadelphia.

I meant, or- VR? Oh my God. The roller coaster you're putting these Philly people on. They saw us last year. I'm so sorry. We are going to Philly.

I'm excited for all those cities and I just, I can't wait. I can't wait. So go to the website. It's especially exciting because we got some new ones like that we haven't been to before. Seattle and Portland, Charlotte, Atlanta, Denver. Well, okay. It says Greenwood Village. That's why I paused on a couple.

Instead of Denver, it says Greenwood Village, Colorado. And then for Sinistina, it says Liberty Township, Ohio. So whatever, you get it though. That's where Leona was born. That's so true. At the, I think it was at the Funny Bone, right? Yes. Middle of a show, you like people pay money.

It's a secret show you did. Yeah, M delivered Leona. It was a whole thing. You're sick. Well, officiated. It was a whole thing. Well, officiated my wedding and I thought, what better way to celebrate? Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, we, so tickets are on sale this, uh, whatever the fifth, whatever that is to you in June. We're recording this not, or not in June, April, April, June, April 5th, Friday, April 5th. But patrons actually get a pre-sale access,

I believe starting on the third or fourth. So they'll get a code. A day or two early. Either today or tomorrow to access tickets early. So yeah. And then officially on sale on the 5th. So we can't wait and can't wait to see you all there. It's going to be a fun, fun, fun, fun summer. So yeah. That's right. And for now we're going to read reviews of paint and sims. And your challenge from Brad was?

To find reviews where the reviewer is told they look like a celebrity and are offended by it. Hilarious. I have my own story about that. It wasn't offensive, but anyway. Uh, okay. Well, we're going to have to wait. I'm excited to share that later. Uh, but yeah, paint and sips is such a good one. Okay.

So I feel like people, sometimes I think like, do people know what this is? And then I think if my dad listened, would he know? And the answer is most certainly not. He probably would not know if you said, what is a paint and sips? Weirdly by now, I think I could see him knowing. I don't know. I think he would automatically say he does not know what it is.

And then like once you start to explain it, he'd be like, oh, okay, I know about those. You might've got him there. Yeah, I've never been the one though myself. So I feel like he, I don't know that much. But it's essentially like an outing that you can pay for to, you know, drink wine with your friends and paint along. You don't have to like be an artist or

anything, but you paint along with the instructor and you come home with like your own masterpiece. Yeah. This is what I'm, the vibe I'm getting for most of these places. Yeah. Sure.

That sounds good to me. So it's like a wine night, crafting wine night, like my kind of time, which I mean, again, nobody's ever invited me to one of these. So I guess I wouldn't know, but it sounds like a fun time. Yep. Yeah. Didn't we talk about these on that boat, a boat thing and doing that for your birthday? Okay. Why didn't we talk about that? That was a challenge. That was, I, yeah, I don't remember.

The challenge was something like where someone leaves a bad review because of something related to the paint and sips. Wasn't it like they could do better than the instructor or something like that? Because I feel like this one was, oh, we got on the boat. It was a river cruise in Cincinnati and they like got on the boat and there was no paint or paintbrushes. Oh my God. Okay. And they were like, what was the there was no paint or paint brushes. Oh my God. Okay. And they were like, what was the point of this?

Yeah, yeah. Anyway, I don't know, but I do vaguely remember complaining that I had never been invited to a paint and sit and we talk tragically. We still haven't done that. Didn't turn the table. No, nobody's still invited me. So, you know, maybe this will do the trick. I don't know.

Who wants to go first? You go ahead. Okay. This don't know. Um, who wants to go first? You go ahead. Okay. This is from Abby. It's a Yelp review for a place in Brooklyn called Art by the Glass. Huh? Two Z's. Oh, nice.

Like by the glass, but glass. This is a one-star review by Elena. This place is a scam. A total scam, scam, scam. Scammers, scammers. Bought tickets from Living Social, tried to schedule many times. Tickets finally expired, no reply sent back. Good thing I have evidence. Don't worry, Art by the glass. You will face the consequences soon enough. Remember, you never know who's behind a computer. Sincerely, your legal and dutiful citizen." Huh?

End of review. End of review. You're, you're, you're dutiful citizen is doing, like, wait, okay. That, that sign off threw a whole wrench in. I already had my thoughts and then that sign off just completely wiped everything out. And I'm like, wait, what did they call themselves? And then that sign off just completely wiped everything out. And I'm like, wait, what did they call themselves? And why did they call themselves that? Illegal, you're legal and due to, like, I don't know if they mean legal,

as in they have citizen, they've acquired citizenship or if they're following the law or if they're- Yeah, I don't know. Not following the law and they're being sarcastic I really can't tell. I don't know what's going on there but I okay anyway yeah that was that was very threatening there was a lot going on. I love that they're like you never know who's behind the computer and then they're like anyway here's my signature so that you know who's behind the computer it's like well okay um it's not threatening if you then say I'm a legal and dutiful citizen. Yeah, no, that's true. But the problem is that this, they're not accepting or scheduling.

They got a deal on living social. Is that what it is? Is that like Groupon? Yeah. I feel that's why paint and sips are the prime thing on Groupon. I feel that is such a group on a thing. Highlight of group on the front page. Yeah. Such a group. Massages I think. And, uh, and, and these,

yeah. Um, that sounds very right. And I feel like Airbnb, uh, might probably has that in their experiences tab of like, and B might probably has that in their experiences tab of like yes, yes. I could see that too. But yeah, so I could imagine this is something that they run into a lot where they have issues with customers who buy things through those, which I don't know. I always feel weird about it. It's like same when you like rent a car or get a hotel and it's through like one of these

third party websites. And then you get there and they're like, I can't do anything about this because you didn't book it through us. And then if something goes wrong, then like Expedia is like, sorry. I will say, I feel the stakes are much higher when it's travel related and not when it's going to schedule a paint and sip. When you're buying a plane ticket versus buying, buying art by the glass. And yet here we are with such a threatening

review and- I mean, imagine they get screwed by Expedia.com or one of these other sites. Talk about like- The world might end. A threat. Oh my Lord. At the very least those businesses might end.

They'll become a non of vigilante by then. So true. Like no more dutiful citizen. It might have already happened. We just don't know it. Oh shit. That was nine years ago. Lurking in the shadows.

Or over nine years ago. Oh gosh. Wow. Okay. My first review was sent in by Chelsea, she, her, who sent in a review of DIY bar in Portland, Oregon, Portland. That sounds like a place we're going on our live. I'm not going to start doing that. It sounds like maybe somebody could invite me to a fucking paint and sip for once.

Yeah. Okay. Maybe we can do it on June 14th, the night after our show at Polaris Hall on the 13th. We won't have anything else going on. Yeah. okay. Here's a three-star review of this paint and sip. Great place if you want to make mediocre crafts. The beer selection was good, but no amount of alcohol will give you the patience to finish your craft.

And if you're bringing someone here on a date, be ready to never see them again. This place brings the worst out in you. End of review. Oh my god, what is happening? Maybe I don't want to go to one of these. I thought it sounds like a relaxing night out. I think this reviewer, I feel like this reviewer did something not good. Yeah, it feels like the date went south, not just because they weren't good at it. I think it was Paula, Paula, the reviewer. did something. No offense, Paula, but the way you're

presenting this information makes me think that if it brought out the worst in you, you might've thrown your craft at a wall. You might've thrown it at somebody. What if the worst in Paula is just like, she's just like a little bummed out, you know? And she's like, it brought out the worst. I was a grump the rest of the day.

But to say like, I brought a date and I never saw them again. Yeah. It must've been something dramatic or maybe you really are just that bad at crafting. I don't know. I will say I brought a date to an art museum. Never saw they, they came up with an excuse to leave early. Never saw them again.

Within like 10 minutes. It was that like like it was quick. Well, maybe they wanted to do the art with you. You know what I mean? Ew. No, they didn't. Oh. What?

I didn't like that. Cause the pain step, you're doing art together. Well, okay. I'm not, okay. I think I just was very disappointing to them. That's my, that's my theory. That makes me really, I don't like this story. What?

I don't know, it makes me sad. It was really pathetic. And you know what Elsa said? Did I not tell you the other part? Have I not told you this before? Yeah, I think you've told me this many times on the podcast and it still makes me like exponentially sadder. Someone else I was talking to on Tinder

was working there that day. And I made eye contact with her. That that day. That's the best part. That's the most Cincinnati. I was so awkward back then though. Did you message the person? I think I told you to message the person at the museum and be like, how do you saw my flop of a date? Let's hang out. I didn't do that nor would I have. I've got a groupon. Actually, if somebody brought a groupon and then like it didn't go well or they became a vigilante, I'd probably not want to see them again either. Yeah, that's not what happened with me. But yeah, agreed. Okay. Anyway, your turn.

You just say you accidentally bought a groupon to the art museum and that'll make it sound more believable. I think this was after it became free. That's why I chose to go there. Cause there was a big domination to make it free. I'm not even kidding. I know you're not. I know that very well.

Okay. This is a review from Kana or sent in by Kana. She Her and it is a paint and sip called splash paint and wine. Don't splash the wine. I know that part. I'm like, it feels like you're giving off the wrong energy. Yeah, like don't or the right energy, but like probably one that you don't want in your establishment.

Yeah. Paula is going to take full advantage of that offer and splash her wine all over the place. That's her God given right based on the name of this place. Yes. God gave that right when naming this location. You're right. Did you call her Paula? Yeah. What do you mean? Who's Paula? The reviewer I just read. Oh, okay. Okay. I thought you meant like this upcoming review. Sorry. No, no, no, no. I'm sorry. The one who did something drastic and is what I'm saying. Right. It was a call back. Splash wine.

It's a comedy thing. Yeah. No, I got you. I just thought we were like naming them all Paula. Oh, we can. I'm down. Um, this is actually Ross. And I feel like for some reason that makes it funnier. So, um, this is Ross who gave a splash paint and wine Wine a 2 star out of 5 on TripAdvisor.

There are many firms in the Naples area that offer painting classes and a bit of booze to ease the mood. Most have well selected painting subjects, excellent guidance, and create a fun atmosphere. Unfortunately, Splash Paint and wine is not one of them. The offered painting sample was dark and murky. The instructor did not produce as good a picture as my daughter did. I'm sorry.

If that was the challenge at some point, I wish I had seen this review because it really is excellent. That's a good one. The instructor did not produce as good a picture as my daughter did, perhaps not even as good as mine. There was no humor in her voice, nothing in her demeanor to indicate fun and no amount of wine

could change that. The leader did little to advise and half heartily walked the room. Her instruction was limited and generally useless. All of her instruction was done in front of her board so we couldn't see what she was doing and she gave little clue as to how to proceed. She gave no direct instruction when walking the room. One particular downfall was the long time it

took to complete the painting. Much of the evening was spent waiting for paint to dry. I don't even know if they know that they said that. Like if they said that, I don't even think they meant that. As if. Like kind of as a double entendre. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I think they just literally are saying. That's literally what happened. You're waiting for paint to dry. Yeah. Yeah. Although they had some drying fans, it took up at least a third of the night, at least twice as long as other venues.

If we were all laughing, it wouldn't have mattered, but this was no laughing matter. Instead, it was just boring. Overall, the staff was okay, they did not skimp on giving you as much paint as you needed, and seemed friendly. If only some of them could design the products and actually know how to paint. End of review. Wow. Ouch. Yeah, indeed. It's so, because the thing is, you're not in an art class.

That's the thing. I think people are missing that. That's the whole point. It's not, and I think I, future reviews that I'll read will touch on that. But that's not the point. Like you're not there to become a good painter. You know?

I don't think. I mean, why would they give you wine if that's the point? That's not, you're supposed to have fun. I think some people are just like a little tightly wound up, very competitive maybe and very like, just can't like let go. It's hard with the paint and sip to find that happy medium because I feel like if, if you're one of those people who's either really highly strong or, or you're like really, I don't know, insecure or something about your painting, you're not going to have a good time.

You're either like comparing yourself or having an issue with how hard it is, I guess, or how you're not good at it if you have that problem, or you're the other end where you're like, I'm better than the teacher. Yeah. That's, I mean, because your tongue in my stream and Sadbury brought up taking a pottery lesson. And I was like, you know, I really want to do something like that because, and I tried to explain

it, I don't think I explained it well, but you kind of just said it where I want, I feel like I'm insecure about some things and I feel like I can be very, like I have trouble letting go of like when I'm not good at something, like I'm easy going, I can, but I still feel not good when I am not good at something, but I want to experience that more. Okay. I experienced that all the time because I'm not good at most things, but like I want to put myself in a position like a

painting or a pottery thing. To like intentionally enjoy something not just because you're trying to be successful at it or good at it but just just to do something. Which I think would be good for my brain. An activity. Because sometimes I struggle with that. Like when I play certain video games, I'm like if I'm not doing this well, I get frustrated. I can't let go and just have fun sometimes. So I want to get better at that. So I was thinking of that. Is this your next pitch to get us invited to a painting? I feel like Alexander's trying a new tactic to get us invited. I have like three more lined up. Let me check my notes. We haven't reached the next one, but I'll say it when I'm ready for my next pitch. All right, once I say my next pitch then you can say yours Okay Your turn I think it is my next one was sent in by Elta

This is a review of painting with a twist which I think is the most popular one Am I like that? Okay, I was gonna say that's actually kind of a good name and then I was like, but I think that's actually Like a friend. I believe that's a franchise that might be the most that's the one that I feel is as a most at least for me is one I recognize and I've never been to one so I don't know what whatever that says. This is a one in South Jordan Utah a two-star review by James. I'm sorry to say our experience was not what we expected. We have done painting activities before at other places, and we're so excited to be doing one again. Our instructor was terrible. He complained the entire time about how he doesn't like to paint.

It's just a job. He complained about work, his boss, and getting kicked out of where he lives. He provided zero... His work. He's out of his work. He's like, I only do this for a job. By the way, I hate my job. Wait a minute.

I think that instructor should be a podcaster because I complain about you all the time on here. It's great. I can, that's all. People love it. Like my fucking coworker. It's like, wow, tell me about it. Yeah.

And then I do tell everyone about it. You do. And they keep coming back. I don't know why. I don't know why, but it's working for you. So keep at it. He provided zero instruction other than what color paint to use. Our entire painting experience was over in just barely an hour because he rushed so fast to just get it over with.

Because of his attitude, the atmosphere was definitely not what you want when people are paying to have a good time. I'd be willing to try this place again, but I won't book a reservation without knowing who the instructor is. End of review. Wow. Wow. I, I, I feel like this was very common where a lot of these reviews were very critical of the, like you get a mix, you get the ones that are complaining about how talented they are, which I think is bullshit.

But then you get these and you're like, oof, yeah, maybe this instructor should- Like that would be, if you're on like your first date or second date, it's like, well, that's kind of ruins the mood. Like if the person's just bitching the whole time and saying, I hate painting. Yeah. It's like, well, this is not fun for anybody. It feels like a sitcom. Like the teacher hates their job.

And it's just like. It feels like a, like a Seinfeld trope or something. It feels like a trope for sure. It feels like, oh, the, or an improv sketch. Like the, oh, the teacher. Yeah. The guy who hates his job, even though his job is like supposed to be really like fun and then, you

know, like the whole point of it is to make people have fun. That's kind of hilarious to me. I mean, honestly, I think it would be, if it weren't something you pay for and are trying to have fun at, I feel like it would be a funny story. Yes. Yeah, that's the thing though. Once they were saying about like paying money to be there and that it's not enjoying, like, yeah, that's, that's a kind of a not fun experience.

And then every time you look at that nice painting, you're like, I remember that asshole guy. You get a story out of it though. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So this is also from Kana, sent in by Kana and it is of Sip and Paint

Antigua. So we're going international here. Yeah. It's from TripAdvisor. I never thought that would happen in this theme of all things. In a sip and paint of all things. It happens somewhat often, but when it happens for a theme like this, I'm kind of surprised. Yeah.

I agree. That's why I was so taken by this. So this is Sip and Paint Antigua, which I love it. Instead of paint and sip, it's sip and and paint but whatever. By Heavenly Tours and this is a one star review by Hannah. Horrible. She was not ready or set up. She left us at the pickup location, told us her driver would bring us as if she had other customers. We were the only customers. She cooked us lunch in a dirty kitchen. I'm sorry. Pickup locat- It's like Home Depot. And you were told like, oh yeah,

stand here if you want to paint. I'm sorry, but that's- No, okay. It's like one of those excursions. Excursion type things. Yes. Yes. So it's like in Antigua, you're at a resort or something and they have heavenly tours, has like multiple different excursions and they are supposed to pick you up. But I love that they're like, oh, she, the fact that she was at the pickup location

and then was like, anyway, I'm leaving. And they're like, wait, we're supposed to come with you. And she's like, no, you'll come later. It's like, someone else is going to come get you. Sorry, there's not room in my car. I have a lot of other customers. And then they get there and they're the only customers. Okay.

She cooked us lunch in a dirty kitchen. Food was mediocre. Her nephew wanted my cigarettes. She served us old wine. We had to meet her at KFC the next day to get our artwork. You know, they spent like five US dollars. I don't know what the currency was. I know. So I'm just saying like what I know.

Talk about a story. How was your trip to Antigua? I'd hope that this is so cheap, like considering all of these factors. I mean, you're getting a lunch apparently. I don't know. Wow. I remember when I was in Belize on our honeymoon, an excursion included lunch, they were like, here's

like a baloney sandwich. Like it wasn't, I don't think it was like anything, you know, extravagant. Um, it sounds like she's really like cooking though. But anyway, we had to meet her at KFC the next day to get our artwork. She forgot the canvases and we had to use all this old stuff. I feel like this is-

That was out of order. No, I did the canvases. I'm sorry. Oh yes. I think that was- KFC happened after the using the canvases. I think so. Okay.

I think, um, I think they go back. They're like, and another thing I forgot to mention earlier. I thought, I'm very confused when I was like, are you painting in the KFC? I mean, maybe this seems like a kind of a whole, this, this feels fake. This feels like they just made this up and they were like, how do we like. It feels like they made it up or it feels like somebody was like, I'm going to create a website called heavenly tours, get people to PayPal me some money. And then like hope that they don't follow me to my house. And then they did. I'm going to create a website called Heavenly Tours, get people to PayPal me some money and then

like hope that they don't follow me to my house. And then they did. So I served them some old wine and said, oh, I don't have canvases, paint on this back of a newspaper. You know, it feels like somebody kind of was winning it a little bit. You know, with the amount of details, you know, I'm afraid that you might be in on all of this. And this is- I don't know why I got so hypersensitive about it. I'm a little nervous. But anyway, sorry. Yeah, you're right. Let me rewind. Okay. By the way, there is an owner response to this at the end. So get ready. I'm ready. I can't wait.

She forgot the canvases and we had to use all this old stuff. We met her at a church way up a hill, then traveled down to a beach, which again was not set up. We were so lost and so bored. Her guidance was horrific as well. Horrible experience, do not book this." Yeah, at the end it really sounded like a weird dream they had, like we went to a beach,

but then we were at their house, then we were at KFC. I was like, okay, so here's the business. But I will say it doesn't sound like anything that bad. I don't know. It's like maybe inconvenient. Like, yeah, it sounds like, oh, uh, this wasn't what I expected. Maybe. Yeah.

Overall, I think it just didn't meet their expectations, but I'm like, Hey, if I don't know, like you're taking this paint and sip thing too seriously. I don't know, like, you're taking this paint and sip thing too seriously. I don't know. Yeah, I feel like you were the only customers you got served lunch. I mean, it probably was awkward with a nephew asking for your cigarettes. That one, okay, that's fair. Maybe that one's a little bit... Other than that...

No, yeah. Okay, so this is the business's reply. Dear Hannah, deeply apologize for your experience. I personally came to meet you, but you showed up 45 minutes late. You did not want to take the tour as we designed it. You insisted you wanted to drive in your own vehicle because you had a rental car, and this changed and reorganized our activity for the day. We went out of the way to accommodate your requests. Your lunch was prepared at the art gallery kitchen which I showed you and brought to the location on the beach.

I had everything all set up for you at the art gallery where I had the other guests painting. Painting in our organized atmosphere would have made the experience memorable. Once again, I deeply apologize." I, you know what? Apparently don't have to. I feel bad. I know. I feel bad now that I was saying that shit about paying $5. I bet this experience was great and totally fine and And here I am like shitting on it. Because of what the only reason that I, the only reason that I also participated in that rhetoric was because I knew we

were going to get that the business was going to get a comeuppance and get, get the final word because how you'd put that, that the business gets the comeuppance or does the the reviewer get the comeuppance? Like, I don't know how comeuppance is used. I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page here where the business gets the last laugh in a way. The last laugh. Yeah. They are like, they get the, they get the last word in this and they ended up saying,

well, so basically they were not the only customers. They just wanted their, they wanted to be on the beach instead of in the actual building of the art gallery. Okay. So yeah, I'm, I'm, the way they presented it was so like, it was like as if it was so backwards and so poorly handled and now it's like, oh fuck, it was all your fault. And you insisted on driving and then you're like, they didn't even drive us to the location. It's like, what the, man.

Apologies to heavenly tours from me for that. Agreed. I would love to participate one day. That's why I said their name too. I was like, this sounds like a fun experience in a, if you actually do it. Yeah, yeah, no, it doesn't. Right way.

And the dream, I mean, I don't know, with a beach and stuff nearby even, like, I don't even have, like, I don't know. It just sounds, I'm sure it was great and I feel bad. They brought your lunch down to the beach because you refused to like be where everyone else was. Rude okay. Rude. I'm gonna move on and by move on I mean go to the same place as before uh the same uh painting with a twist in South Jordan Utah also sent in Elta. And this is a two-star review. This was written by Grace. The instructor was incredibly rude

and made us very unwelcome and uncomfortable using her thinly veiled jokes. She kept mocking all the late comers at least 10 times during the lesson. And it was obvious she was trying to shame us all in front of the class. This is after we called ahead to confirm that we'd be delayed 20 minutes, to which she said it was absolutely no problem.

She even split the class to play games while we caught up, which would be totally fine if she didn't keep announcing except you guys because you were late for every single step. We got it. The whole class got it. Let it go. It's just a silly painting, not an SAT exam. She ruined what was supposed to be a great date night. We both agreed to try again at a different location. To the instructor, we're sorry we ruined your very important

painting lesson, end of review. Whoa, whoa, whoa. It's like, whoa. Like, okay. I will say like, it's not, you just confirmed you're going like, whoa. Like, okay. I will say like, it's not, you just confirmed you're gonna be late. Like you were late.

I don't know. Like just calling doesn't make you not- And it sounds like it was okay. Yeah, calling doesn't make you not late. Like you're still considered late. And if- She's like, oh, I called to confirm we would be late. Exactly.

It's like, it wasn't like, I don't know. And yeah, and I don't think it was a problem. I think you turned this all into a problem. Um, because I think it's kind of funny. You did not want to play along with the joke. Yeah. Like also being late to something like this, that is confusing when there are multiple, like there's step-by-step process.

You're literally following the instructions. So now the problem here is the instructor is trying to like, actually instruct. If I were one of the other students, I'd be like, what the hell? Like now we have to stop painting to like actually instruct. Like quite frankly, if I were one of the other students, I'd be like, what the hell? Like now we have to stop painting to wait for these other people. I think they're trying. Like that would annoy me. To me, I'm like the instructor is trying to make light of the situation

when half the class or whatever is like late. They probably won't get tipped if people are pissed off, you know? I mean, it sounds like this teacher was kind of in a tough position. Not a fun environment for anyone really. But it's not, that's, it sounds like this teacher was kind of in a tough position. Not a fun environment for anyone really. Um, but it's not, that's the thing. It wasn't the instructor's fault. And also all they did was call you out for being late, which you were. It's not like you weren't late and they were making it up. Like, and they were making jokes about it. Like, I don't know. I don't know. I'm just-

They were clearly have like a something, like a sore spot about being called late. Um, which I have my own sore spots, but I don't know. I do. I do too, but I'm like, I would just feel guilty. I wouldn't be like, how dare you call me out? I'd be like, I'm so sorry. Please. I didn't mean to be like, you're right. My shame needs to be put publicly on display. You're right. That's why I have a podcast to like, anytime I say something shameful, which is probably more often than I, than it should be. Um, at least That's why I have a podcast to like, anytime I say something shameful, which is probably more often than it should be, at least it's out there. It's happening right now. Yeah.

Yeah. This next one I have is from Eva or Ava, I'm not totally sure, but she, they pronouns. And she wrote hey parasocial internet friends these are from a local paint and sip place called Pino's palette but I prefer to call it penis palace oh that's oh beautiful Pino's palette is they they I hope they knew what they were doing I hope so too but even if they didn't I think that's a great name like regardless of the even just pretending they're no possible jokes I think that's a great name. Like regardless of the, well, even just pretending there are no possible jokes,

I think it's a great name. And even with the jokes, it makes an even better name. Pino's palette is hilarious. Like I think it sounds like penis. It does. But Pino's palette is clever way of incorporating wine and art. And I agree. It sounds like penis palace. Come on. It sure does. It's even better. You're right. It's like, cherry on top. So I want to add, I wrote a note here for myself where I wrote, to be clear, I am on the reviewer's side in this. Okay. You wrote this note.

So I, so I got to not shit on the wrong person again. I basically just, yeah, this time I just because I'm gonna read it and this person's very upset and it's it might sound like I'm making fun of the reviewer which usually we are, you know, making light of their experience but I just want to be clear like at the end of the day, I'm in agreement that they're on the right side of this argument. I would say. Okay. I'm going to regret saying this, but I find it hard to believe I wouldn't be on the side of penis palace with a name like that, but I'm willing to find out. So let me hear it. Okay, fine. Fair.

I guess maybe we can do a fun little debate. You know, like I'll be on one side. I have a feeling after you read this review, I will not want to be on the one side of the, last time that happened, last time that happened, I regretted it completely. And I thought I had to really walk it back. You know, when you get assigned to like a side and debate, literally talk about this last time this happened to me and Christina,

I'm pretty sure because this happened very recently and I don't remember it on purpose. Your turn. This is two stars, Two Stars by Wendy. I will explain the stars first and give rationale second. Pino's Palette is one of many businesses where you can pay a fee, use their studio, drink and be taught how to make art. I have taken one previous class with a different location and had a fantastic experience. And I have taken probably six previous classes in a similar manner at a different company and in a different city. In none of those previous seven classes did I have

the experience I underwent tonight. I am no artist by any means, but I also don't think I am particularly terrible. That's why I tend to enjoy these classes so much. But I can tell you right now, if tonight's class had been my first, I would never return. I awarded two stars instead of one because the bartender was amazing, kind, and made delicious drinks. The studio was clean and I was sat with the friends I requested. All great things. The trouble is how I was treated during the class.

One of the first things the instructor mentioned is that we would have freedom to adapt the painting as we please. This is pretty standard, but like I said, I'm no artist, so I was following instructions as best as I could. I also am a bit of a perfectionist, so I'm slow. There were people in the class being a bit rowdy and rude to the instructor, which I did not appreciate, but I was trying to be respectful and follow along. Yet for some reason, the instructor took it upon herself to joke about grading us on our work as if it were school. I'm a grad student, I came here to get away from that nonsense. She also is the first instructor I have had to brag about all the shows and

galleries she has her work in. Not altogether a bad thing, but in combination with everything else a bit much. So here's where the real issue lies. Four times this instructor comes up behind me while I'm working, does not ask if I have questions or if I would like any assistance, which I did not want, mind you, and literally starts painting my canvas that I paid for to what she decided looked better. This is where-

I know who this is. I know who this art, this is our art teacher that we've talked about before. Oh! Who would do our art for us because it wasn't good enough. But just when we were in middle school. I forgot about that.

We talked about her recently on the show. I know, but I forgot that she did that. She would like take over and like rework your art while sometimes in front of you, sometimes like you'd come in and be like, oh, this is much better than I remember. And put rhinestones in when you didn't want them. And put rhinestones. Yeah, yeah, right.

And when I say she made it better or what she wanted, it was just, she bedazzled it most of the time. She was probably right. It was better, but man. Let's just say I'm not an artist now. Not that that would have changed if she hadn't done that. I'm just a bit like- Honestly, Alexandria, she hadn't put that single,

that last rhinestone that finally sent you over the edge. You were gonna be a professional artist. She didn't let me spread my wings. No, she didn't. It was probably for the best. She glued them down with her big hot glue gun. Mom called her ahead of time, was like, please don't let him spread his wings in the art.

We can't have this. Don't encourage that. No, we can't have this. Don't encourage that. No, we can't afford this. We need him to become a lawyer. Look at me now, mom. To become a radio host. Oh wait. Okay, so yeah, this lady literally walked up behind her

and started painting the canvas. The wildest thing I ever heard. This is like, talk about a faux pas. Like this, if I saw a teacher do this to someone else in class, I think I would be like dumbfounded if I watched this happen. It felt like the one star reviews were either one way or another, either they didn't help at all

and they hated that or they would just paint the whole thing for them. It's wild. You've seen that? I've not seen that. Oh yeah. I think when my next review is, I could be wrong. I might not have brought it, but I'm pretty sure.

That is like the wildest shit. So anyway, there's more description of it. And literally starts painting my canvas that I paid for to what she decided looked better. I am no professional artist. I do not care what is right or better in the art world. Places like Pino's palette exist for people to relax, learn to paint something for fun, and drink with friends. This is not art school. I'm not getting to relax, learn to paint something for fun, and drink with friends. This is not art school. I am not getting a grade, contrary to how she was acting, and I am not trying to sell

this artwork. What I do have to do is look at it. And so, if I like the way my painting is looking, the last thing I need is for someone to paint over my shoulder without my consent and effectively ruin what I was in the middle of. The first time she did this, I was surprised. The second, dumbfounded. The third, absolutely livid. To my dismay, I was unable to stay calm.

I stopped being quiet and was admittedly a bit passive aggressive from then on. But then it happened. She tells the entire class that she is disappointed in how we are handling a certain portion of the painting. She didn't like it. We needed to fix it. One man spoke up. What if we like how ours looks? The response, great, you're almost done. Just hang on. A professional and appropriate response to a rude presentation. I liked how mine looked, at least for the moment, and I was working on the five previous super speedy instructions she gave, so I opted to leave mine be. While I am literally still painting another section, she steals paint off my plate and once again, without my permission nor

desire, prepares to try to paint my canvas for me. I had to tell her I was actually happy with how it looked and sent her away, saying it once was not enough. So now four times over the course of three hours this has happened. Never have I been treated so poorly at a class before and never have I made to feel so unconfident and worthless while trying to be creative and make something outside of my comfort zone. I will continue to try classes again but I would strongly encourage you to look into a different location. I will not be returning to this one." End of verse. Wild and very understandable. Yeah. I mean, I just, at the end was like, I would be so livid, like internally, I probably wouldn't even say anything. I don't know what to say because I know I'm not good, but that's, I'm just trying to have fun. It's so weird. I checked my next two reviews and they don't have that, but I definitely did see some

reviews mentioning instructors who would just take the painting and do it themselves. And it's like, then you hang it up and you're like, well, I didn't even fucking paint half that. Why would you hang up a painting from a random person? It's like these people should be teaching, maybe they shouldn't be teaching at all, but if any, I don't know, but if anything, they should be teaching like people who are maybe better painters at a higher level. I said middle school because I was referring to our former teacher. Yeah, I see. I see.

Just to clarify, I'm not saying. I get it. It was not a dig. No, I genuinely am like, she'd probably find more reasonable. I don't know. Yeah. Enjoying the experience. Yeah, I think. I don't know what I do.

I just handle, but yeah, I would not want to keep that painting. What do you do? You didn't paint it, someone else did. That's frustrating. I would be really annoyed. Especially because I'm so bad. I know, like I would not be able to paint well.

So I'd be afraid, like then it's just like, I don't know. Like I don't want, it acknowledged how bad I am. I just want to have fun. Yeah. I don't know. To stand in front of the whole class and be like, I'm very disappointed. It's so weird. It's the painting abilities. I don't like it.

It's the wildest shit. It's so wild. Okay. I've got two more here. They were both sent in by Jen and Matt and they apologized to me specifically in the email because they're screenshots and not links. And I'll have you know I took my med so I was better about it

It turns out mental health is the main factor for the wanting links Which we all pretty much knew Or could have assumed Here we go. Here's one of them. This is a review of painting with a twist. This one is located in Rochester Hills, Michigan, of course. Or it looks like Troy, Michigan. It's somewhere in there. Two stars.

My boyfriend and I went here for our anniversary and had a really fun time here and we're so excited to get our paintings. But when we went to pick them up, the person said it looked wet and poked her finger in the paint anyway and ruined the piece. It was fun, but disappointing and sad how it turned out. End of review.

Oh my God, now they have her fingerprint in it? Listen to this response from owner. Oh shit. Okay, that was written by Abigail. Here's the response. Hi Abigail, that was me and I am so sorry that when I touched it, my finger mark ruined it. Frowny face.

I was worried if it was wet, the paint would ruin your car. I am more than happy to have both of you back in to do another paint pour on the house. End of response. Oh no. I know. She feels so bad. I know. Oh no, she feels so bad. I know.

And like. It's like that like intrusive thought like, well I'll just poke it really lightly. Yeah, you're trying to like see if it's wet to like protect them. Why did I do that? But then was like, oh shit, I ruined it. Oh my God.

Whoa, I feel so bad. Now your fingerprint lives on in that canvas for the rest of time. Yeah, yeah. They have a cast of your fingerprint. Meanwhile, this owner's like, I did that on purpose. I do that to most of them. So they never forget my fingerprint. I mark all my paintings.

Yeah. My fingerprints are on all my students' art. It's like the surgeon that got in trouble. And I feel like I heard multiple surgeons do this for putting their initials in whatever organ they were or something, I don't know if they put it on an organ. They were like a. They, what initial?

Yeah. Yeah. Something after they were done on an organ. But initial. Yeah. Yeah, something after they were done. What are these called? I forgot. You're making like a sign, like a pen or pencil, and I don't think it was one of those. Well, I was going to say like a blowtorch, but that's not right either. It's a thing that like- I'd hope they got in trouble if they're using the blowtorch to do it. And the wildest part is his name was Benjamin.

So it was like really long. Oh my God. Okay. I'm sorry. This is also from Eva or Eva, not sure, um, of Pino's palette. And, uh, it's a one star. Nice. The painting was a five star experience.

The instructor was amazing. She was very thoughtful, and she helped us when needed. The only thing I would not recommend is the beverages. I am a extreme lightweight. I only drink maybe one to two beers a week, tops. I am also skinny. I paid $8 for a Bob Ross, parentheses, one shot of Malibu. It was by far one of the weakest drinks I have ever had. When I tell you that I tasted nor felt any alcohol, I really mean it. I'm not convinced by this review. Did you write this afterwards?

I know, even saying I am a extreme lightweight. I'm like, oh, okay. I neither tasted nor felt, no, it doesn't even say that. When I tell you that I tasted nor felt any alcohol, I really mean it. I then told the two ladies up at the bar. They basically told me to get lost. Passive aggressive for no- They did not say get lost. First of all, get lost is- They basically- There They basically told me to get lost. Passive aggressive for no reason. They did not say get lost.

First of all, get lost is there's nothing passive aggressive about get lost. They basically told me. And they were like, oh, mention passive. You started to mention passive aggressive. Passive aggressive for no reason. That is not passive aggressive. No.

Get lost? Excuse me? If they had said that, like, I'd be like, oh shit, they shouldn't say that, but that is not passive aggressive. That does not, I don't said that, like I'd be like, oh shit, they shouldn't say that. But that is not Basil the Great. That does not, I don't think that's what happened. And then they wrote, the thing that got me, the bartender doesn't drink alcohol. What bartender doesn't drink alcohol?

I will never come back to this location ever again. I was a pretty good bartender when I was 12 years old for our stepmom's parties. We make a mean Manhattan. But okay, can I be clear here? A shot of Malibu, it comes out of a bottle. I'm confused by that. Yeah. So they're basically saying, I never drink, I ordered a shot of Malibu, which is like a liqueur at best. I feel like it depends on what I don't know much about. Malibu is not a liqueur at best, it's just rum.

It's a shot of rum, right? Oh, I was thinking like Malibu, like coconut liqueur. Okay, no, I think it's just- Yeah, it is a liqueur. Isn't it just rum? Am I crazy? Like it's coconut rum, I think, but isn't it just, like it's, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. But also, Christina, so my thinking is,

this isn't just a shot, I think the shot is in the drink because it's called a Bob Ross, you know, like I don't think they would order a Bob Ross and it just be a shot. That's what they said. They said it was a shot, so it was confusing, but I think they're- Parentheses. Oh, I see. So I think basically the alcohol. I don't think they're drunk. I think they had a drink with literally one shot of Malibu and not even a 10 year old would get drunk from that. So like, okay. Furiously typing over there. 20, 21%. Okay.

Let me look up like. I was like, give me any reference point because I don't know what that means. I'm seriously typing over there. 20, 21%. Okay. Let me look up like- I was like, give me any reference point because I don't know what that means. Okay, so in the United States, vodka, for example, must have a minimum alcohol content of 40%. Okay, yeah. But vodka starts around 40 and can range as high as 95%.

Okay. Meanwhile, Malibu is 21 and it is a liqueur. Okay, I was, yeah, I was wrong. It is neither strong nor technically rum, says Drizzly. I was completely wrong. In fact, it's correctly classified as a coconut-flavored liqueur. Okay.

And rum, white rum must have alcohol content of 40% or higher and Malibu has a gentler, as they put, rating of 21%. Okay, no wonder I like Malibu. Yeah, exactly. So yeah, this person just doesn't know what Malibu is, I guess. Yeah, I think that's the problem. And they said like, I drink one to two beers a week.

And I'm like, honestly, you probably get drunker off a beer, I would say. Like you probably get buzzed more off a beer than a cocktail with a shot of melamine. Good to know though. See, this is so educational. I'm teaching you so much. I'm so glad you taught me that. Okay so I am on my last one. This is another one with an owner response also sent in by Matt and Jen. And this is of that same location. Painting with a twist. My God. What? Sorry.

What? I found March drink of the month. Bob Ross? How much or what is it? Okay, hold on. This March? Like right now when we're recording this? No, 2018. So this is from TulsaPeople.com. July 28th, 2023. So I guess a little more recent.

A cup that's not for your brush. More drink options at Pino's Palate. So the Bob Ross, oh my God, why is it not telling me? It says the Bob Ross, which comes to you in a Pilsner full of bold blue liquid courage is quickly becoming a fan favorite. That's what it says? Yeah. That's all the info. A Pilsner? All of this and that's what you're telling me. A Pilsner? Well, I have a picture of it. Does that help? No. But what I'm learning, I didn't realize if this was such a big chain.

Pino's palette. Is it a chain? Oh my god, there are more there are more Pino's palettes near me than there are a painting with a twist. Oh, so you can enjoy it yourself. Well, granted they're mostly in New Jersey, so no, I won't. But um, this is far. I don't know how to get there. That's no, that wasn't that was not actually meant as a dig. I just that's far. Um, but yeah far. I don't know how to get there. That's no, that wasn't, that was not actually meant as a dig. I just, that's far. Um, but yeah. We could franchise it. Where?

Where do you want to open that? Downstairs? I don't know. In your home? In my apartment building? Which one? Keep it, come on. We got to, if we want this business to succeed, we got to have a great, like in my apartment building? Which one? Come on, if we want this business to succeed, we gotta have a great, solid, full-for-business plan.

I have the world's worst elevator pitch. I'm like, I have sharks. I wanna put a franchise downstairs. That's all I have for you today. Where? Oh, downstairs. It's like, huh? I'm gonna join Pino Perks.

Okay. You, you go join penis perks. Um. Okay. No, I'm already part of penis perks. Silly me. Silly me. How could I forget? Um, I'm done by the way with my reviews. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. It's, it's on you now to keep this episode moving until, actually throughout the rest. So you better get on it. Focus. Okay.

I'm focused. Okay. So, um, let's see. Oh, that was my last one. Wow. We like nailed it. That never happened. It definitely didn't happen last week.

No, it didn't. Um, so I have my challenge now. This is my challenge from Brad to find reviewers, I'm sorry, find reviews where the reviewers told they look like a celebrity and are offended by it. Alexander, I forget, what was yours again? My challenge for what? Oh, my story. No, I'm sorry.

What was your? Yeah. I was like, what? So this isn't offensive to me. So I was at the airport and the TSA agent looked at my ID and said that I look like a young Lewis Capaldi, a singer. You know Lewis Capaldi? Oh yes! With the hair.

Oh my God. And it was because in my ID photo, I had like the long hair. And I was like, honestly, I was like, I see the resemblance between me and Lewis Capaldi in this photo. And he called me a young Lewis Capaldi and Lewis Capaldi is three years younger than me. That's what I thought. Did I say this on the podcast before? I might've. No, you told me, you told me in person, but I was like, isn't he younger than us?

Yeah, he's three years younger than me. And so I'm like, that's insulting to the Lewis Capaldi. Like, I look like a young- Yeah, no. Like, be like, I look like a young- No, oh, thoroughly. In my opinion, he doesn't look any younger than I do, or like any, I mean, sorry. I mean, shit. He doesn't look any older than I do. Now we get the real answer.

And so, yeah, I just thought that was kind of silly. At least you're being compared. Everyone at airports and on airplanes always thinks you're 12. So that might be what's happening. It's so true. I feel like you are always accused of being younger than you look. Yeah, which I'm not complaining about. Wait. Or you're looking younger than you are, I guess. Yeah.

Yeah. Which yeah, stop complaining. Okay, we get it. We get it. Okay. I'm youthful. I have this youthful energy glow and this exuberance that just cannot be matched by my peers. So tired of it. Always the same. You're not even my peer, you're so much older than me. I remind me of a young... Okay, this is, I don't know where I was going with that. This is from Brad himself who sent the challenge

and said, I wanted to shoot you this review. First of all, I always get nervous when people write, I wanted to shoot you. Jesus. Sometimes I say like, I'll shoot you an email. And then I get so in my head where I go, I shouldn't say I'll shoot you an email. Like, I don't know why, but it like stresses me out.

I think it's just it. Yeah, that phrasing could be, I know. Yeah, I've, yeah, yeah. I'll shoot you an email. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, like, oh, I wanted to, that phrasing could be, I know. Yeah, I've, yeah, yeah. I'll shoot you an email. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, like, oh, I wanted to shoot you this. I know, I know. And it's like, for some reason, I just get caught up on that. I wanted to shoot you this review that inspired me.

Okay. That inspired me to submit the challenge. Okay. So this is the, the, this is what started it all. Okay. Start this is the, the, this is what started it all. Okay. The start of it all. Start of it all. This is a one star review of Common Crow

Natural Market, which is a natural food store in Gloucester, Massachusetts. And this is a one star review by Bella. Cashier told me to look her in the eyes, stared at me and held up the line. Then she said I looked like Taylor Swift, which was really odd for someone to say at a cash register. She also said it really weirdly like, has anyone ever told you?

Long pause. That you look like? Taylor Swift? I don't look like Taylor Swift. I think she thought I was trying to hide items in my bag when I offered to bag my own groceries, even though I had just bought a large amount of bulk food and glass jars. Weird experience." End of review. You know what? I'll agree with them there. This sounds like a weird experience.

It sounds like, I'm like, take the W. It's also a very weird retelling of it, I think. Maybe I'm like, take the W. It's also a very weird retelling of it. I think I maybe I'm. It was a weird retelling. I feel, I feel like, you know what? Take the compliment of young, hot, blonde girl, celebrity, superstar, rock star, one of the wealthiest people in the world. Especially that part. That's my favorite.

When I, when that guy said that I was like, well, yeah, Louis Capaldi is not worth. I mean, Hey, I'll take it. Totally. I do look like that. Yeah. But I'm like, I'll take it. Totally. You're right. I do look like that. Yeah. But I'm like, you know, she just described you as like basically a supermodel. Take it.

Unless she really is hitting the panic button under the counter and like calling the police switches. Yeah. I'm like, I love this like juxtaposition of, wow, you look like Taylor Swift. Clearly as I would say, as a compliment, you would say that to someone, but also like, they're like so suspicious of you. Like maybe they're just suspicious and thought that they were Taylor Swift, you know?

I don't know. Maybe that's what it was. And that's why they were acting weird. And they were like, oh no, don't do it yourself. I want to do this. I need to help Taylor Swift, you know? I want to be helpful. Like look at all these bulk jars you brought in, Taylor.

Thank you. I don't know what's going on here. Okay. I don't either. I kind of love it though. Believe it or not, I don't have any more. I thought you had another story for me from the TSA archives of celebrity and celebrity comparisons. Sorry. Okay. Um, okay.

So this is from Kana as well, uh, who sent some reviews earlier for the theme. And, uh, this is a one star review of a restaurant. And I will say this one, like absolutely, absolutely encompasses the challenge. And it makes me very uncomfortable. Uh oh. Like how upset, you know what I mean? Like it feels like I'm, like, I feel like a lot of these

are insults to celebrities, you know what I'm saying? Like as if somebody had said, how dare you compare me to that person. Yeah, that in turn, they're the ones being insulting by being insulted. Yes, absolutely. Correct, yeah. So that's kind of where this goes.

I just want to warn everybody. It's a little uncomfy. So here we go. One star. Horribly rude staff. Food was okay. Weight staff made an unsolicited comment about my weight. Six foot one, 280 pounds, dad bod.

To my face. I was there to pick up an order for my wife's birthday and the lady that was helping me was very polite and friendly. However, when one of her male teammates brought out my order, he said, you look like Michael Moore. I've worked very hard to lose 70 pounds over the past year and I have 60 pounds to go to reach my ideal weight. I said nothing, nor did anything

to incite this rude remark. Also, by the way, cutting in here to say, it is never okay to comment on someone's body or weight or- I'm in agreement there. I'm not mocking this experience. I said nothing nor did anything, well, to incite this rude remark aside from apparently looking like Michael Moore, but that can't be helped. I think it's similar to pregnancy. Don't assume anything. Then don't tell anyone that you think that they look like anything, that they look pregnant, that they look like someone.

Just don't make a comment. Why would you even say it? Some people will not take it well. Yeah. Even Taylor Swift. You could say someone looks like Taylor Swift. If that causes some negativity, then just don't even bother.

Just no one is safe. No celebrity is safe. I said nothing nor did anything to incite this rude remark. I was minding my own business and paying my bill I immediately expressed that I was insulted and asked him if he'd like it if I said he looked like Rush Limbaugh Now that is insulting like that is fuck Rush Limbaugh Like that's the thing is like you cut it depends on who you pick. You gotta pick and choose your battles here. Yeah. Okay. But get this. What? If I said he looked like Rush Limbaugh, which he did not, to which that was just the first name that came to his head, I guess. So random, which he did not,

to which he responded that he didn't care and that he's a character. Not my point. You insulted me out of blue clear sky and didn't give two shits that your comment proved offensive and unwelcome. Keep your rude comments to yourself. Clearly management endorses this sort of behavior. End of review. So, you know, it seems like there's a lot more happening here.

And also of course, it can be very upsetting when someone comments on something that you are like. Yeah. Like anything like your physical body or. This seem to be, they hit a nerve with that comment, which, so don't comment. You know, even if you meant mean it positive, just don't comment.

It's just very simple. And if someone says like, that was rude and offensive, don't be like, no it wasn't. Yeah, no, exactly. And like, it doesn't matter how you meant it. It doesn't matter your intentions there. The fact that they were like, I don't care if I look like Rush Limbaugh.

Maybe I do. I hope I look like Rush Limbaugh. It's like, well, that's not the point. And also you don't look anything like him. Are you happy? Oh, you do want to? Well, guess what? I was lying. Guess what? Gotcha. Now this is the worst day of your life.

Okay. So the next one I have is, let's see. This is an email from Chelsea, she, her, and it's from a forum on Mumsnet, the UK's most popular website for parents. Uh, it's forum. Sounds great. Post. Like a great site for me.

Yeah. I think you'd find yourself perfectly at home. Um, this, this post has 338 replies. So this was, yeah, this was a, uh. This website's poppin'. A poppin' post. Or this was his post in particular. Or just his post. He was like the only one that had any replies. So this was, yeah, this was a- This website's poppin'. A poppin' post. Or this was his post in particular. Or just his post.

He was like the only one that had any replies. I'll be honest, even though I am a mom, I don't have the context for you. So I don't know. But I do know that, um, this one got some heat. So 338 replies and the title is, To Be

Pissed Off With My Celebrity Lookalike. And this is by Dame Doom, posted in 2013. And I want to clarify when they discuss celebrity lookalikes, I believe they're referring to, remember when those apps came out or those websites where you could like upload a picture of yourself and it would like tell you who your celebrity doppelganger is? Okay. That's kind of, I think what they're referring to. Went for lunch with a friend, Heidi Klum lookalike yesterday. She was playing the,

ooh, which gorgeous supermodel do I look like game? Bit boring. Are we sure this is a friend? Yeah, I was gonna say, yeah, you seem like a delight to have around. I think this person, I don't know, this doesn't feel like a healthy friendship already. Oh, it seems incredibly toxic. Yeah, no wonder this got 338 replies. Everyone's

probably like weighing in on, you know, it's like an am I the asshole situation. Everyone has an opinion. Went for lunch with a friend, Heidi Klum lookalike, yesterday. She was playing the ooh which gorgeous supermodel do I look like game? Bit boring and predictable as she really does. What a Fisher. Anywho's I came out as Vic Reeves, not a young one either. Okay, look up Rick Reeves. Rick Reeves, I am.

It's an English comedian, I believe is what I gathered, which is so funny because it's Oh, I know this guy. On numsnet.uk. Yeah, yeah, wait. Oh, I know this guy. Yeah, wait. Oh, okay. Vic Reeves is. Oh, I imagine your friend comes in as Heidi Klum and you get Vic Reeves. I love the juxtaposition. No offense to Vic Reeves.

It's just a great juxtaposition. Talk about an odd couple, the odd couple, you know. Anywho's I came out as Vic Reeves, not a young one either. Ran to Lou to adjust Winkle Pickers and novelty leggings, only to stare into the face of Vic Reeves. Everywhere I go, Vic is staring out at me. I am an uncanny spit of him. Which celeb do you look like, but would rather not end of posts?

So it seems like they're almost more embittered about- They accepted though. They like can't unsmit now. Yeah, I kind of like, they were just upset someone told them. Like someone called attention to it because now they can't stop thinking about it. I do see those videos a lot on TikTok for some reason. They keep coming up where it's like, I do see. I do see those like videos a lot on TikTok for some reason. They keep coming up

where it's like people are interviewed. What celebrity do you look like? Or do people say you look like or it's, I don't know. Well, it was just a big thing on, on a love is blind. Okay. Like kind of caused a stir. Oh, I mean, I need to watch the new season. I need to be up. I've seen so many like memes about it. I've just ignored them. I could send you 8,000. Please. You watch suits. I'll watch that. Okay. We'll trade. But yeah, no, I don't have a good answer. I mean, Louis Capaldi is now that I don't have the hair, it doesn't really fit anymore. It did. I think that was a good one, but I don't have, I don't, I don't feel like I have one. Not saying that they don't exist, but like, I don't have one ready to tell people. Well, Oxnard, keep the faith alive because BritaBot was one of 338 replies that Chelsea was kind enough to source for me, so I didn't have to read all of them. Yeah. And so BritaBot responded to this and

said, I did one of those lookalike apps and as a white woman was surprised to get Will Smith. And as a white woman was surprised to get Will Smith. I gave it another go. I'm sorry. I did this for Renee one time and she got Putin. And it did like a morph where it like, it was horrible. I was like, and it's still her photo on my phone. I think that like weird transition. I gave it another go and got Tom Hanks.

Third time I got Kate Beckinsale, but I felt it had lost credibility at that point. That's a bummer. If only it had given Kate Beckinsale first. That's why with the Heidi Klum friend, you just got to do it two more times and bring her back down to reality. Yeah. It's like, no.

You just got lucky with the timing, I guess. I don't know. Oh my God. That's so fucking funny. Yeah. So I knew that some of that would be a little bit like, um, of a bummer or just like people were going to be upset. So I brought a couple of redemptions just to like balance out, you know, people being excited about- You know, something I just remembered?

That topple gang. Is people will like tag me in comments on Instagram or TikTok. There's been one that I agreed with, but like nine times out of 10 people say, Oh my God, this looks like you. And then tags me. And I was like, Oh, I thought this was at Xandy Schieffer at first. And I look at it. I'm like, what? I don't see it at all. But maybe it's my view of myself. I was going to say, I feel like I've noticed those from time to time and I'm like, no, it doesn't really, but I can see why like in some photos or something,

like maybe they don't know what you look like. Or like one feature, like the eyes or something will be like matching. But I'm like, sometimes I see those and I'm like, not insulted, but just like, huh, really? I don't see it at all. Sometimes I get compared to Leighton Meester and it's like, oh, is it the dimple?

Let me Google Leighton Meester. I feel like you've told me this. I mean, honestly, it happens so often. I don't see it at all. I mean, not like- Yeah, I mean, I don't either, but like people say it so often that I actually watched Gossip Girl

because I was like, who the fuck is Leighton Meester? There's like some scenes out there that it's like. I think it was at Liz's Bachelorette or something where I said like, oh, people say that. And all the people who did not know me went, oh, that's who you look like. And I went, are you kidding?

I think that makes a big difference is knowing someone and seeing their face so much, it's hard to like see their features in someone else, if that makes sense. Yeah, so you guys weigh in, tell me if I look like a beautiful skinny actress. I don't actually, I'll be honest too, a lot of those comments stopped like 10 years ago.

Like when I was in college, people would say that. And now I'm like, I don't get that very often anymore. So I'm sure it has something to do with aging, question mark. I heard that happens. But I'll take it. Like, I'm not gonna has something to do with aging, question mark. I heard that happens. But I'll take it. Like I'm not gonna complain, you know? I mean, of all things I'll take it. It could be worse.

I kind of don't care who I look for. I'm nervous to find out, honestly, if people tell me. But I like the Lewis Capaldi one. That one fit. That one, I saw, that was the first one that I was like. It's so random. It was really random, but like I saw that with a long hair. And for some reason I was like, yep, I see it. It's like how everyone tells Tony Hawk he looks like

just like that skater Tony Hawk. And he's like, really? I don't see it. But believe it or not, I'm not Lewis Capaldi. So it's very different. What if you were though? I'm not going to answer that. I don't know. I don't know what that means. though. I'm not going to answer that. I don't know. I don't know what that means. Um, then I'd be Luisa Capaldi. Zandi and XTeen, Lewis and Luisa. I'm out. Give me, give me, sorry. I'm sorry you interrupted this. I thought it was my fault. You're about to read your next reviews. That's my fault. Nope. Listeen. Listeen? What? Is that how that works?

One time Blaise and I tried to combine our names and we came up with Blistene Schlampignally. Ew. That's disgusting. I hate it. I almost thought maybe we weren't supposed to be married because of it. That's the reason you weren't supposed to be married was because that would be your couple name. Yeah, I just thought to myself, like maybe the universe is trying to tell us something. I don't know.

I don't think it was, but yeah. Yeah, we couldn't find a name that we could like combine. So I just kept mine. I don't blame you. Whatever. So this is a redemption. It's a five-star review of a hotel, okay, called Catfish Bend Inn and Spa.

That sounds fun. Yeah. Why is it catfish bending? Get a better look at your rear end. Pfft. What the fuck? What the fuck? I don't know. Okay, the title of this review, which by the way is by Kevin and it's called Fascinating

Shower Wall, which seems like an oxymoron, a paradox. Yeah, it does. Yep. Okay. Here's the review. And this comes with a photo, unfortunately. It comes with a photo of a fascinating shower wall. I'm so glad. I'm dead serious. Okay.

Okay. Here's the review. Big room with a comfy king bed and good pillows. Quiet climate control so the fan didn't keep waking us. Bathroom was huge with a walk-in shower, with a semi-opaque wall so you could see blurry outlines of the person taking the shower from the bedroom. But then, she looked like an alien. Meanwhile, she said, I looked like Bigfoot. The celebrity in this case is Bigfoot in my love in my stretching of the challenge.

She said, I looked like Bigfoot. Coffee, tiny microwave and decent fridge all in the large bathroom area. Check-in was easy. Okay. So he put a photo of the shower wall with his wife looking like an alien. And I'm like, first of all,

that's your naked wife in the shower. Why are you posting that? Second of all, I'd rather see the one of Bigfoot, but okay. What the fuck? It is like an alien. That is creepy. Is it? That is weird. It looks like a gray

like a what to be specific yes okay the ones with the gray heads and the big eyes except it's very blue to me is this not blue to you the wife looks yeah I mean it blue like full like from head to toe blue. Yeah, that's true. Maybe it's more like Avatar. I don't know. No, I don't like it. No, no. Yes, you're right. But I don't like it. I agree with the Avatar comparison, but I don't like it. I just loved the idea that he looked like, um, big foot. And that was part of the five star. Which I could picture, you know, because of the blurriness, you know,

and in those showers, they have absolutely. And you're like kind of doing this in the showers. Oh yeah. I could absolutely picture that. And you're like kind of doing this in the shower. Yeah, whatever that is. Uh-huh. That's totally what I do in the shower. But I did not, I was like alien and now I see it. That is an alien.

Yeah, it's sort of like your silhouette turns into this like kind of creepy, like. Yeah, I don't understand. Glowing, I don't know. It's freaky looking. Yeah, I don't understand. Glowing, I don't know, it's freaky looking. This is a five-star review of a place called Rex Hotel by Bob. We asked at the Rex for a restaurant serving excellent Viet-style food, but not as expensive or luxurious as the Mandarin.

We were directed to the Nhoac song marina i'm probably saying that right wrong imagine the audacity i have to say something in vietnamese and then go i probably said that right and then continue talking oh my god could you imagine i'm such a fucking cool bag react because I immediately knew what you meant because we always say that we don't say things right. So it didn't even process what you said because I knew what you meant, but that was amazing. That was hilarious.

I probably know how to speak Vietnamese. Anyway. Oh my god, that's so good. We were seated on the second floor and thoroughly enjoyed the performers. If you get a chance, ask for M. That's so good. There were many HCM city couples and families. We were invited to share a drink with one group and I had my picture taken with them. They said I looked like Clint Eastwood. Happens a lot whenever Mr. Eastwood is not himself. Well seen. They shared drinks even after learning I wasn't Clint. End of review. I did not understand that little bit about Clint Eastwood. Okay, so basically what happened is this guy was out at a,

he was out, I'm assuming in, yeah, in Ho Chi Minh City, and he was approached by strangers who asked to take a photo with him because presumably being white, they thought like, oh, he has a passing resemblance to Clint Eastwood. He tells them, I'm not Clint Eastwood. They still wanted a photo with him regardless. However, he made a slightly tongue in cheek comment

to say, hmm, this happens all the time when Mr. Eastwood is like, nobody's seen us in a room together kind of thing. Oh, I see, I get it. I think is what he's saying. Like, you know, happens a lot when he's not around. Oh, I see, I see see i you know like people if there were the direct comparison would be very obvious kind of thing but like perhaps yeah yes i see

um so i think that is uh that is that oh one time i was in um shanghai and i got uh got recognized no i somebody on the tour bus started a rumor. And I only know this because I was with, you were not on that trip, right? No, I was, uh, I was actually doing my, having a great adventure that summer. I was interning at great American insurance and I was, uh, right down by the beautiful Ohio river, uh, in an office. And I was the only intern on my floor in the licensing department and I just played with Excel spreadsheets all day and I ran out of work

two months in and I had a whole month to go and they didn't know what to do with me. Anyway. Yeah, who needs to experience traditional Chinese culture? I've never been to China, still. Yeah, well I have, so that's cool. And I went and on the bus and I was sitting in the back and all of a sudden people started taking my photo and I was my stepmother, my father and I

were the only, and then, uh. They thought you were Jude Law. They thought I was, this is not a joke. Well, they didn't really think I was, I think, but Julia Roberts. It was the most. Even more ridiculous than I expected. And think, but Julia Roberts. It was the most- Even more ridiculous than I expected. And then it's so ridiculous. And then my stepmom, our stepmom started going, yeah, it is, she is Julia Roberts.

And I was like, stop. She is so fucking funny. I mean, there have been times like that where she just says shit like that. And it's- She's like, watch what happens. As children we are mortified, but in hindsight, it's so fucking funny for her to go along with this stuff. It's so funny to me.

Our good friend, Grace, who speaks Chinese, was there with us and her family. And so I look and she and her dad and mom are laughing their heads off. And I'm like, what? And she goes, they think that you're Julia Roberts. And I go, okay, well, that can't be right. Ask them again. And they were like, well, your step, you know, everyone's kind of adding to the, to the mystique cause we were like the only

white people, so they were like looking back and like zooming in to see if I was really Julia Roberts. And I got off and the tour guide goes, you actually don't look anything like Julia Roberts. And I go, I know, thank you. You don't need to, you don't need to clarify. But I was in a lot of people's selfie or a lot of people's pictures.

How old were you? Like 20? I don't know. I'm trying to- 20. Something like that. Was that when I had that internship? Was I like-

Yeah. I don't know. You were like early twenties. Or 23. Yeah. Early twenties. Like what? I'm sorry.

It was hilarious. It's like, as if someone said I looked like, I don't know. It's so wild. It's so funny. It's out of control ridiculous. It's so funny. And of course then they really quickly realized I wasn't, but it was still kind of like everyone wanted the photo anyway for some reason.

I guess I was a novelty at the time on this tour bus. It was the most ridiculous day. So I can see why being like, oh yeah, I'm totally Clint Eastwood. So that was one of those highlights of my life. So I can see why being like, oh yeah, I'm totally Clint Eastwood. So, you know, that was one of those highlights of my life. Yeah. I mean, I don't have one of myself, but when I was in Indonesia, um, one person in our group, I forget where we were. We weren't, we, I went, I did my own stuff, but we went to a cultural site.

I'm trying to remember the name of it, but it doesn't matter. Uh, and there was someone in our group who was Chinese and he was about six foot something. He was like fairly tall and like always dressed very well. Like, you know, like, I don't know if you do. Yeah. Always like just no matter where we were, just very well dressed and just, you know, carried himself very well. Like he was just one of those people.

So like you notice him in a positive way, but there are all these students, these like small kids who were there and they saw him and they ran out to him and they were like, like K-pop, K-pop. And like, because he looked like a movie star or something. Yeah. And like, he like, I think he just carried himself in such a way. And so they were like, K-pop, K-pop. Honestly, live a life where you enter a room and you're not even Korean and people think you're a K-pop star. That is kick ass.

And so it was, and he had a, I mean, I wouldn't tell the story if he, you know, had a bad reaction to it. He handled very well and was like really like, well, and all these kids took photos with him and he like took all these photos with them and just went along with it. Cause he was like, why not?

And like they were having the best time. That's kind of what happened. I was like, this is, I'm at the mercy of the scenario. Yeah. And it's harmless, you know, no one means anything negative, but yeah, I thought it was really, really funny. I mean, it boosted my ego for a long time. I got up until the tour guide said, you don't look like her.

Oh yeah. And she's like, only when you smile really big. And I was like, okay, well stop. Yeah. They just made sure you won't do that again. So yeah, I didn't. I stopped, especially because then I had to ride a horse and I was like, I'm not, you won't see me smiling anymore. And until Carl almost fell off his. Oh, then Carl fell off the horse.

I know all the stories. I wasn't even there. Because he was using a backscratcher on a horse. What the hell was he thinking? And by the way, that backscratcher he had bought earlier that day after telling us, Carl is one of our Chinese friends and he, like family friends, and he had told us not to buy anything from these vendors.

And then he walks back with like a whole bag of shit. And we were like, you said we can't buy anything. He's like, well, I really needed a back scratcher. I'm like, so you just got, got by all these people that you said were going to like scam us or whatever. And then he comes back with this fucking gigantic back scratcher.

He was worried they only had one left and he didn't want you buying it. He wanted to deter us from taking the last bag. And then he fell off his horse, rolled down a hill for a little bit. It was holding the back scratch. It was one of the funniest things that's ever happened. And that was the same trip. Yeah.

Good times that I wasn't there for. Honestly, I'm glad that you pointed it out because that was the same trip where I first saw Jude Law at a restaurant in Shanghai. First of 50 times. It's crazy how it keeps happening. At least. At least. And I just you. First of 50 times. It's crazy how it keeps happening. At least. At least. And I just texted.

Now, Julia, Julia now texts us about Jude Law. When he spots Jude Law. He's not spotting Jude. No one is spotting Jude Law. He's a hermit. The law. If you ask me. The law of numbers dictates that at least one of those

times was Jude Law. Is that how it works? That's what the law of numbers is about. The worst part is that the day that I see Jude Law, I'm going to least one of those times was Jude Law. Is that how it works? That's what the law of numbers is about? The worst part is that the day that I see Jude Law, I'm going to be like, that's not Jude Law because I like now, I certainly don't know what he looks like anymore. That's the thing. It probably has. You've probably been in the same place as him.

I'll be like, he looks like a young Lewis Capaldi. I can't put my finger on it. Who is that guy? So I found this forum interestingly interestingly, on Ask Reddit, or sorry, it's our Ask Reddit, and the question is, what is the best compliment you have ever received? Did you say I found this forum and it was Ask Reddit? On our Ask Reddit.

Like literally one of those popular subreddits. Shut up. I found this post on our Ask Reddit, and it was, what is the best compliment you've ever received? And so this thread people were thread. Yeah. I know the word. Okay.

Okay. I said it really confidently and then I question myself. Okay. That's a good one word you can use Reddit thread. Yeah. Okay. Oh yeah. It says this thread is archived.

Okay. So, um, this is a delete a since deleted account seven years ago in response to what is the best compliment you've ever received. Let's put some positive music under this bad boy. It says, I was at a Starbucks and a MILF said I looked like Jude Law. I'm at least decently attractive,

but I don't really look like Jude Law. It's still stuck with me for quite some time. And a post. Wow. That's uncomfortable. Was I that MILF? Julia Roberts told me at a Starbucks one time that I looked like Jude Law. Oh my God, imagine Julia Roberts.

Oh God. Yeah. I, the Jude Law one, I know people sometimes are like, what does Christine's deal with Jude Law? There's not a deal. I just have spot. Well, so the first time I saw uh, the Jude Law one, I know people sometimes are like, what does Christine's deal with Jude Law? There's not a deal. I just have spot. Well, so the first time I saw him, I saw him at a restaurant in Shanghai and I zoomed in on my like shitty phone. I still have the photos and I sent them to my brother and I said, Oh, holy shit. I think Jude Law is at this restaurant. And, um,

it was a very fancy restaurant. I was convinced. And then Alexander has to rain on my parade. But then I started spotting him multiple other times. Which is mental illness at this point. If it keeps happening, there's a problem here. There's something we need to get to the bottom of. I think people just look like Jude Law. I think maybe people just look like him, but I swear. I've never seen someone and thought, is that Jude Law?

Really? What is wrong with me? And I don't even really know about Jude Law. I just know that I see him all the time. Like I've had that experience with multiple celebrities before where I thought, is that who I think it is? Never have I had it with Jude Law. You saw Oscar Nunes though. Is that his last name?

I think so. Yeah. The Oscar from the office. I forget, is his last name different than his one in show in the show, but his first name is the same? I don't know. That might be right. Yeah, that's right. You're right. You're right, Nunez. I did see him. Sheesh. The thing is, I wouldn't have been able to confirm that it was him if the Starbucks barista hadn't called out Oscar for his name. Like, I mean, I saw him and I was like, oh, that

looks like him. And then the barista said Oscar him and I was like, oh, that looks like him. And then the barista said Oscar, and I was like, okay, cool, that's him. And then I just moved on. I didn't say anything, of course. Well, not of course. I don't know. I just, I don't do that.

But yeah, otherwise I would have been- Well, listening to you now, I don't know why you wouldn't approach it with that kind of confidence. I just like- He hadn't had his coffee yet too, so. You know, the, the wildest part is that I searched specifically, cause I knew you and

Julia at the very least would want to know if I searched for Jude Law lookalike. And I, I did. And it's just rough because this is the only one. And I'm like, surely other people are often. What do you mean it's the only one? What's the only one? Like it's the only person I could find

who like posted about someone saying they look like Jude Law. And I thought, well, there have to be more cause I'm saying it about people all the time. First thing I thought, that doesn't mean anything. It means literally nothing. Okay, well, I was thrilled when I found that a MILF called this guy Jude Law

and it like made it so- I think it's hilarious and it's very fitting for the show. I just, I'm kind of, I don't know, I'm concerned about you. That's all. That's all I ask. It's much appreciated. I'm not going to do anything about it. I'm just going to have this concern and say it to everybody so they know I'm concerned. Then someone else can solve your problems later. Maybe you'll actually meet Jude Law and it'll all be fixed. Um, that seems right.

That seems like probably next week you'll get a text saying it happened. And then, um, it's you with some random guy who looks nothing like Jude Law. And you're like, I finally met him. You got him to sign a bunch of stuff. Yeah. The, all that somebody has to do is say, you're right. And then I'm just, I'm hooked. Like a hook line sinker. Yeah. You that somebody has to do is say, you're right. And then I'm just, I'm hooked.

Like hook, line, sinker. Yeah. You got me. Like if it were Elsie, she'd be like, yeah, oh yeah, this definitely is Jude Law. So that was the funniest part is I told, I was with my dad and stepmom at the restaurant, nobody else. And I said, I think that guy's famous. I think it's Jude Law.

And of course, let's go talk. Yeah. Let's go talk to him. And thankfully you responded quickly enough. And I was on the hotel Wi-Fi. This is like 2013 where you said, no, you told me, oh, you regret it. Nip it in the bud. Have Elsie say something. And the guy said that wasn't because you still claim it was him because you never confirmed it. You still claim it was him because you never went up to him. That's the problem. I shouldn't have said anything. Regrets. Could have changed the whole course of history. Yeah. Anyway, that's all I've got. Thanks for every, for that. Thanks for everything. You're welcome. Thank you so much. So long. Thanks for all the fish. That's, that the fish. That's an accessible reference for everyone.

It's been a long time since I've heard that reference. My goodness. Alrighty. Thanks everyone for listening. Don't forget to all those cities we named at the beginning, get your tour tickets ASAP. You're going to be able to buy them at Beach2Sandy.com. So get the links at least there at this starting Friday. Starting Friday, links are going to be up.

And yeah, we can't wait to see live and see you there. I can't wait to see Jude Law in every audience we attend. It'll be delightful. Yeah, you're going to call them out. You're going to be like, Jude Law is that you please stand up. I'm going to make someone stand up every single time. Yeah, so that's something to look forward to. So get your tickets fast,

especially if you look like Jude Law. Bye. Bye. Beach Two Sandy Water Touette is a ForeverDog production. Hosted and produced by Zandi and Christine Schieffer. It's edited by Marko Padilla. Cover art by Courtney Aventura. Theme music by Mavis White. Executive produced by Mariah Nicholas.

Forever Dog Productions is Joe Silio, Alex Ramsey, and Brett Boehme.