Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 280: Reviews of Immersive Experiences
Episode Date: April 10, 2024This episode is full of Shrek Humor. Youth groups, you've been warned! ***COME SEE US LIVE!*** https://beachtoosandy.com/ Look at what we have in store! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch vi...deos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Support us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thextinefiles Xandy's Stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Welcome to Beach Too Sandy Water Too Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by
people who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast,
but I'd give it zero stars if I could. Hello everyone and welcome to Beach to Sandy Water 2 at the podcast where we read the worst
reviews in the most dramatic fashion.
My name is XT.
My name is Xandie.
You have tuned into episode 280 reviews of immersive exhibits.
So we're talking like that Van Gogh exhibit that went around, the recent Wonka debacle,
things like that.
I'm trying to think of any other good examples.
So I felt I didn't totally, like when I read immersive experiments, uh oh.
What did you bring to the table?
That's what this podcast is.
Everybody just close your eyes and I'll tell you about it later.
The immersive exhibits, I was like,
oh, I know what that is.
And then like when I got kind of into the weeds,
I was like, well, is this like, what counts technically?
So I feel like maybe there's a variety here, but yeah,
I feel like it's meant to be like an interactive, right?
I think so, or like, yeah, yeah, whatever.
We don't, we've been the rules.
Or like, didn't, were you, no, Em taught me, I think,
recently about like living museums.
Or was that you?
We had a long conversation about that, yes.
Yeah, that was you then.
Okay.
You guys are the same.
But you had, but you brought up that Em brought that up too.
Oh, okay, okay, okay.
So I just keep bridging a bridge, creating a bridge that nobody needs.
Too many bridges.
Too many.
That's why I always think it's the Golden Gate Bridge.
Wait, no, I think it's the Brooklyn Bridge.
Oh, they're the same.
They're not the same.
I'm pretty sure they're the same.
No.
They're even the same color, so like how else am I supposed to know?
Oh no.
Famously, famously, they're both the same.
Which color, may I ask, which color are they both?
If you don't know, then you're not a real one.
You got me there, okay, you're not a real one. You got me there.
Okay.
I'm not a real one.
Um, but before we read any of those, I want to say what the challenge is.
It was from Delphi and it was to find reviews where the reviewer demands
a response from Valerie Parr Hill.
Um, who is one of our favorite QVC hosts.
Uh, only because honestly, the reviews are just so funny and like people just love,
love her and love to mention her in their reviews.
I feel almost like this is a more, um,
like this is kind of a Patreon coded challenge because I feel like a lot of
times with the Patreon bonus episodes every month,
I come with a lot of QVC reviews. That's true. Um,
because a lot of times it's like a random,
like St. Patrick's day.
A lot of holiday stuff, yeah.
A holiday, seasonal and that kind of thing.
And so, but yeah, Valerie Parhill, we discover,
I mean, we've talked about her on the podcast too,
but she is, she's a character.
I literally know nothing about her other than she is a QVC host
who designs these, I don't know,
does she even like technically host? I, she has a collection.
She has a wide collection of QVC hosting.
She has a lot of like birds that she sells.
Yeah. A lot of bird stuff. You're right.
And people tend to address her as it,
as though she were reading the comments. Yeah. Um,
and I'm excited cause that you said that for a lot of reasons,
but it's going to be fun.
And then also we're two, I, we talked about this last week, but all our tickets for our tour by this point are available. You can go by at this point, come see us, all the locations. You can go
to beach, choose sandy.com. The full list is there. It's 12 shows. We're not, I'm not going
to go through them right now. Uh, we did last week, but, um, I think we did last week, right?
Yeah, we did 12 shows folks. Come see us. We, we'd love to see you. And if you're missing your city,
trust me, we wanted to go. We wanted to go like Texas, Detroit. People have been saying,
oh, it's California, the Northeast again. Dublin, Ireland. Yeah, Australia. There are so many
places that we wanted to go and we tried and we just
didn't get it. So hopefully if we...
Yeah, we just crossed them out on a big list and said, we don't want to go here. And our
manager said, got it. We'll just pretend to...
We blacklisted all those places.
Yeah, we blacklisted it.
But yeah, so hopefully people can come to the other shows and we can do an even more
extensive tour next year or just a completely different tour next year. We'll see.
Who knows.
Also remember Eke Romani.
We talked about that last week, the Latin textbook.
Yeah, and you were like, what is that? And I was ready to scream.
Well, I wanted to read an email that Emily, she, her had sent in with the
subject Eke Romani.
And said, this is a completely unrequested email, but I just need Christine
to know that my stepbrother
and sister are named Marcus and Cornelia.
And even though my stepmother took years of Latin,
she denies that it's because that's the name
of the two children in Ece Romani.
It's subconscious, it's subliminal messaging.
I firstly think she's lying,
but since I have zero friends who had to suffer
through that textbook with me,
I needed to tell my parasocial besties.
Okay, bye.
Emily.
Wait, what's this person?
Poor Emily.
Poor Emily was like, oh, there's no character I can be named after.
Hilarious.
Well, it's the step siblings, right?
Oh, step siblings.
Okay, okay.
I was like, wow, you got, well, honestly, good for you.
The step mom didn't get that chance with Emily.
No, because I'm sure the other name,
does she call you something-
Agricola probably would have been-
I was gonna say, does she call you Puella girl
or Agricola farm or field?
Yeah, I feel like there's some worse options
you could have gotten, but I totally agree with you
that this was some sort of subliminal-
It was either intentional or deeply subliminal,
like some deeply, you know, subconscious choice.
From the angelic realm, probably.
That's totally what I was thinking.
Anyway, would you like to read a review
of immersive exhibits?
You know what I would, this is from Sean,
who actually suggested the theme on Patreon,
and he sent a review of Titanic,
which by the way, first of all.
That sounds like a dangerous immersive exhibit.
I know.
Well, get it?
Immersive.
Immersive, unfortunately, yeah.
Yeah, it's a double entendre.
So it says immersive exhibits, Titanic, the artifact exhibit, Las Vegas, Nevada.
So this is a two star review.
Las Vegas, I'm sorry.
That just took me by surprise.
I know, isn't that? Okay. So this is a two star review. I'm sorry. That just took me by surprise.
Well, but so you're like reading exactly into the,
into the vibe of this review.
The vibe of it, yes.
Yeah, like you've tapped in.
Two stars by Serena.
This exhibit as a whole is really cool.
There were some aspects though
that didn't quite land well for me.
When entering the exhibit,
you're invited to take a photo at a basic replica of the front of the ship in front of a green screen.
People were taking all these silly goofy photos in front of the ship and it didn't sit right.
There was an artifact expert, well imagine they get, you know, on the strip, I've only
been to Vegas like twice, but you get like those giant drinks with like, you just wander
around with them like open container. You're like, oh cool, a Titanic
exhibit and you're drinking like the world's
biggest hurricane with a curly straw.
Yeah.
Anyway.
There was an artifact expert who had some
really cool facts to share, but he also said
some very insensitive things about mental
health, one being that quote, women in
particular came here.
Came where?
I forgot how insane this is. Uh'm yeah, if you'd stop because it's so insane.
I already have, I'm sweating. Okay.
I'm nervous.
This is just a wild thing to say. There was an artifact expert who had some really cool
facts to share, but he also said some very insensitive things about mental health. One being that, quote, women in particular come here without a will to live and they're
so moved by this exhibit, they realize their issues aren't as bad as they think they are
and it changes their lives, end quote.
He's saying that-
It's so crazy that it's hilarious to me.
He's such a good artifact expert that he has saved
people from suicide.
Is that what he's trying to apply?
Mainly women.
Oh, I'm sorry, not people.
You're right.
I shouldn't generalize.
I should hyper-focus on one.
Insanity.
On the fairer sex.
Yeah.
Wait, the Titanic immersive exhibit in Las Vegas.
Las Vegas.
Also, I love that this reviewer's like, I mean, he had some exhibit in Las Vegas.
Also, I love that this reviewer's like, I mean, he had some great facts to share and
I'm like, I would not count on those as facts.
If he's saying this, I don't know if you can trust his quote unquote expertise.
When does he pepper these in, these little statements?
At what point in this immersive exhibit, like, oh, here is a piece of silverware from the kitchen.
You know, a young lady was here last week.
She was on her way to jump off a bridge
and decided not to because of this lovely silverware.
Like, what does-
She had digested an entire bottle of Tylenol PN
until she saw how the fragments of this perfume bottle and realized,
you know what, maybe my divorce really isn't so bad.
Like, what are you talking about?
First of all, how would you even know that?
Like why would anyone tell it?
Well, they were so moved.
I feel like there's nothing trustworthy about a guy who's bragging about this.
When you say facts, I'm like, I don't know about expert.
I don't know about facts.
It doesn't bode well to me.
If he were called as an expert witness,
I think we could poke holes immediately
in anything he had to say.
I think he'd be poking those holes himself.
That's true.
He doesn't need help.
If he's thinking that way, my gosh.
Wow.
Jesus Christ.
Okay, let me finish this.
No, there's more.
Yeah, that was probably the worst of it, I promise.
But there's a little bit more.
The audio guide is $5 on top of admission and was a complete waste.
I learned more interesting things and was more captivated by the wall panels.
Oh, sorry.
It says the wall panels describing the events, but I thought they was a joke.
Like, oh, I was more distracted by this or entertained by the ceiling tiles.
I pictured they would change.
Like wall panels were screens and you would, it would be like you're drowning.
Oh my God.
The water's just filling up.
I'm sorry.
What else would this Titanic emerge?
I, well, I mean, I guess then it does kind of give credence to you
realize that you put your life in, I mean, I'm a woman, so you wouldn't understand.
Yeah. I'm just, you know what? You're right. I'm good. Whatever you say, I'm not even going to you realize that you put your life in, I mean, I'm a woman, so you wouldn't understand. But like,
Yeah, I'm just, you know what?
You're right.
I'm good.
Whatever you say, I'm not even going to respond.
This is your thing and your responsibility.
Whatever comes out of your mouth next.
That's exactly right.
Sometimes women will go to a Titanic exhibit and be like, well, I could be drowning on
a big ship right now.
And thankfully I'm not.
And they really does change your life.
Anyway, so it says,
I was more captivated by the wall panels.
Last thing I really didn't like was that the gift shop
had ice cube trays where the ice cubes are shaped
like the ship itself.
Maybe I don't have a sense of humor,
but it felt disturbing and I never-
It's fucking crazy.
All of this is insane.
Like back to back.
Like, what are you doing?
This is the most Vegas thing I've ever heard.
Like, look, now a day we already are doing 9-11 jokes.
It's only been 13, oh my God, it's only been 23 years,
which is not that long of a time.
So think about what it's going to be like, however long ago the-
I mean, that's a great point, Zandy.
It's like a global tragedy.
And it's like, cause I was about to say,
when does Vegas decide something is too soon?
And so when you say like 9-11, it's like,
well, of course that's too soon, but it's like, what?
So in 50 years, are we going to have an immersive
and then like joking ice cube trays?
Like, is it because that generation who was aboard
has since passed and so we don't feel like connected to it?
I don't know.
I just feel like it's a really disturbing thought.
Yeah, I mean, obviously the circumstances
are very different, but like-
That's also true.
But the way that jokes are already made,
I mean, it's like, I wouldn't be surprised
if it would turn into this.
Like one day was some sort of-
A money grab.
I don't want, I really hope not an immersive exhibit,
but like, yeah,
like one day people who are so disconnected from it are trying to profit off of it in order to,
I'm not trying to get too deep about this Titanic thing. I'd probably go and see what it's about.
It's pretty deep. And I've been to some like Titanic exhibits and they're pretty cool.
You know what I mean? Totally. Totally. But at least the women there are lifted from rock bottom.
Thank God. It's about time somebody do it. And when this artifact expert showed up, I said,
our savior. It's so bad. It's so bad. It's so bad. We joke because it's bad. Okay,
I'm moving on to something else that's bad, That brought lots of jokes out of people. This is the Willy Wonka experience that
some of you may have heard of. It went fairly viral. A lot of articles about it,
Tik Toks, YouTube videos, whatever. My brother, my brother,
me has spoken on it extensively. I mean, it was, I honestly,
I don't know that much other than the videos I watched on Tik Tok.
But V sent in some info, including an article from, um, uh, from the Scotsman talking about it.
Uh, and I'm just going to read a little bit from it. It says, the attraction has been compared to a
quote meth lab and several furious attendees ended up calling the police complaining they had been
scammed after forking out 35 pounds
for the Willy Wonka immersive experience in Glasgow. Uh,
the more that emerged about the event,
the more the internet delighted with Hollywood stars sharing memes and GIFs and a
story even appearing in the New York times appealing to a presumably baffled USA
audience. I'm going to say that is accurate.
You've presumed correctly.
Because it truly, it was like meant to be like a magical realm and there were
children crying, kids crying because it was such a disaster.
It was a let down.
It's a little bit heartbreaking. Like when you look at like the families that went
and spent 35 pounds per person or whatever, it's very,
it's a little bit sad and the people like got their kids all amped for it.
And yeah.
Yeah.
So a whole, whole wild thing.
Um, and they used AI right to create like the advertising.
Oh, I didn't see that.
I think that was a huge part of it is they used AI.
And so it looked like completely out of, out of this world.
Cause it was made by a computer.
And so like you showed up and it was like, here's a ring pop or something.
I mean, I'm being facetious, but like, and all the pictures had, and then I think on
my brother, my brother and me, they like zoomed in and like the words were like
missing, like it was like that AI where they can't really type.
And so it would say like, it would say like kind of things that don't even make sense,
but you don't really realize until you zoom in. But yeah,
I think they used AI to like create the advertise, the promo.
And I will say they, um, they did apologize, a place I did it,
apologized, um, and said that it would refund attendees.
So, um, so they gave full refunds supposedly, I assume it happened. Uh,
and they apologize for what happened because, oh my God, it was a crazy shit show. And some of the,
the cast members were talking about it on Tik Tok and made their own videos
because they were like, yeah, that was me. Um, here's what happened.
And they talked about the setup and how like last minute it was that they got
this last minute script and the, they got, I think someone got the, uh,
their uniform, like the day of,
or the day before, and it was all just really rushed through
and it showed.
But anyway, I'm going to read a review from Facebook
that V had sent in for this event.
Travis Becker was like, well, they'll do it,
they'll do it again, like FireFest, TanaCom 2,
like all of these things, like they'll just do a redo.
And now that it's gotten so much press. people are going to want, it's true.
Maybe we'll all go.
That might actually work out.
Like people will, influencers will be lining up to be there just in case it's
a shit show again.
That's right.
Yeah.
Alrighty.
Here's a review of the Willy Wonka experience.
I paid for Willy Wonka and got Billy Bonkers.
Having now seen the posts on this page. AI could never by the way, like that's when human intellect, I'm like, it'll trump AI
any day.
Sorry.
I forgot to include, there was a laughing like the sideways, the tilted laughing emoji
and a monkey covering eyes emoji.
Oh boy. Having now seen the posts on this page and stories about the event organizer,
it's clear the guy is a sandwich short of a picnic and has some sort of pathological disorder.
Which that always news to me.
I don't know.
Whoa, pathological disorder.
Okay.
I did like the one sandwich short of a picnic.
I actually really, I'm telling you again, AI could never. This is new frontiers I'm hearing.
That being said, my two kids actually had fun.
Bless them, they're easily pleased.
And are none the wiser to the absolute car crash that it clearly was.
End of review.
And I thought that was pretty funny.
They never leave the house. So for them it was like end of review. And I thought that was pretty funny that some- They never leave the house.
So for them, it was like a delightful experience.
And I assume, I mean, from what I don't know,
I'd like to think the cast members who did not organize it
were probably doing their best in spite of the scenario.
So I-
What star rating was that?
It was just a Facebook post.
So it wasn't really a star rating,
but you know, not the most glowing review. Um, but it's
at least they could see some fun in it and, and they could probably got their
refund. So, Hey, Hey, perfect. Uh, what more could he ask for? Um,
this is from Brad.
Maybe you could ask for like a full well rounded experience to begin with.
Rhetorical question. Rhetorical question. Alert. Rhetorical
question alert. Ding, ding. Okay. So this is from Brad. He,
him who wrote stay Sandy. And I thought that's, that's nice. I
think Brad is trying to make it a thing because he writes that
every time. So why would anyone want to stay Sandy? I don't know.
Brad, get back to me on that one. We'll workshop this. I'm just curious. Here, we have notes.
Why would anyone want to do that? Now come back to us with some updates.
How is that a nice thing to say to us, Brad?
That's fucking rude is what I have to say.
It even had a cool emoji with sunglasses and I was like, who do you think you are?
You think it's so cool of us if we're covered in sand.
Yeah. You think it's just hilarious to mock our.
So you sadist.
You are sick.
You are one sandwich short of a picnic, Brad.
You know that I say that about you?
Like one grain of sand short of the beach.
Oh boy.
I was a little harsh.
Too much.
My bad.
Yeah.
A little too far.
Okay.
So this is from Brad and he wrote, uh, the first reviews here, this is of living history farms in Urbandale, Iowa.
So this is like one of those living museums
where you go and get to see like how,
it's where you can see how Midwest farms
and ways of life have been transformed over 300 years.
Don't laugh, I wanna go.
I wanna go so bad.
It's just like, that's just life for people.
And I don't know, it's like, we go from bad. It's just so funny. It's just like, that's just life for people.
I don't know.
It's like, we go from the Willy Wonka exhibit to like,
Oh, oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
what it's like to be on a farm in Ohio,
which, hey, I think is a great experience.
Don't get me wrong.
You know which I'd rather attend?
I mean, I'm a huge nerd,
but I would way rather attend like a farm exhibit,
like a historical farm exhibition.
Did you say you're a huge nerd,
but you'd rather do this?
I said, I know I'm a huge nerd but this is like I'm saying like I know
this this adds to... God I thought you're saying in spite of me being a big nerd I
do want to go to this farm. Well I'm a big nerd for Wonka candy specifically
grape flavored nerds so maybe that's where I was going with that. So what you're
telling me is at Disney World,
your favorite ride would be living on the land,
which I mean, probably is a good,
I don't know what that is.
Which is a good ride, but it's one where you sit in a boat
and it slowly goes through the history of agriculture.
And that's it.
Yeah, that's kind of what I want to do.
It is interesting.
I think it's worth doing.
The ending, they have like all these plants and it's pretty cool to see all the plants
But then they have the fish farms and it's really depressing seeing like a hundred fish in the smallest tank you've ever seen
But other than that, it's pretty cool
Yeah, I I love that kind of thing. I mean I'm a
Like blaze literally just got me a historical fiction about ancient Egypt.
Like that's cause I'm such an, cause I don't know.
What's it called?
It is.
What?
What's it called?
Um, it's by NK Jemisin who's like a sci-fi writer.
I just, I didn't even, I read like the first
chapter already, but that's it.
Um, let me see what the name of it is.
Sorry, I'm derailing.
I was hard.
I know.
I just had recent conversations about
historical fiction.
It's called the killing moon.
Um, so it's, it's a low, see, this is my
like dream genre, ready?
The story takes place in a low tech stratified
society, roughly based on ancient Egypt.
So it's basically, she's like a sci-fi writer.
It's she's, she's really cool.
Anyway, sorry, back to this.
Okay.
So living history farms in Urbandale, Iowa,
where you can see how Midwest farms and ways of
life have been transformed over 300 years with
on-site interpreters and hands-on experiences.
So Miranda gave us a two-star review.
Went here for a holiday event and the servers and
waitstaff were so over
attentive and overbearing it was quite annoying. They offered me water so many
times in such a short time I just took some in hopes they would leave me alone.
Then they started in with the lemonade. I don't like lemonade. At that point I
wasn't aware that they had other options. They didn't
have tea, so I was offered pop, which I had to find myself by that time. I had beef, parentheses
brisket, and it was very good but slightly underdone. The mashed potatoes were terrible
and I couldn't even eat half mine, overly seasoned with too much salt and pepper and
garlic and something else. The macaroni was very spicy for some unknown reason.
The chocolate cream pie was very good.
During dinner, I was interrupted at least seven times, mainly to ask if I was done.
At one point, someone just went for my plate and I stopped them like a starving woman.
Oh wait, maybe that's part of the immersion.
What is this?
Like 300 years ago, they're like,
you didn't get chocolate pie.
Give that back. What is happening?
I don't know, I have no idea.
But I wasn't finished.
They tried the same with my chocolate cream pie,
which I was eating slowly.
I had to increase my volume to assure I'd let them know
when I was finished.
We had to hang our coats ourselves.
I'm still not sure
where the bathroom is. And the lighting- Still like wandering.
I'm still back here. And the lighting is so dim, you could barely see your food.
I would recommend the servers dial it down a notch and the cooks hold back on some of the spices.
End of review. Man.
Sounds chaotic. That does not sound like a place I and the cooks hold back on some of the spices. End of review. Man.
Sounds chaotic. That does not sound like a place
I would serve anything spicy by the way.
Spicy macaroni and cheese.
That's what's in my head.
What does that mean?
What was on it?
Some black pepper?
I mean.
I mean, if you can't even see what you're eating,
maybe you were eating something different.
Wait, that's a good point.
Realize or I don't know.
I mean, I've never really seen a review where it's like the weight stuff was too
helpful and too like trying to give me water.
Because I could imagine they've gotten reviews of the opposite of they didn't
fill my water once.
And then now I guess they're to this person at least overdoing it.
They just can't find the overcompensating. Yeah. I have you, which,
I don't know if there is one because people are so different and people are
going to be annoyed no matter what.
It's you can't really win. I mean,
I would say like what I've taken from this review is the knowledge that 250
years ago in Iowa, the typical meal lemonade,
you will, you hang your coat by yourself, which is just,
uh, you know, culturally part of history. And then complaining about that. You have to, wait,
what this is, I'm trying to, I'm like, still, I have to keep reminding myself that what this is,
this is a, uh, an immersive, like a farming meal experience in Illinois.
They have actors like reenacting and saying,
oh, this is what life was like.
You have to only drink lemonade because the
well water was dirty?
Question mark.
I don't know.
You drink a lot of it, lady.
We don't like you.
Maybe they're testing you.
Is that why they're-
Did you listen to the, did you listen to the,
the lecture?
Would you survive?
You know, when they go, when you go to the Titanic exhibit and they give you like a
passenger card, uh, and like to like identify,
like, so that you can relate in a way.
And then at the end you find out if they died.
Jesus.
Have you not done that?
Where was that?
Cincinnati museum center, like 10 years.
Oh no, I was with you.
And it was years ago, but they give you like a card.
I still have mine somewhere.
They give you a card with like a photo of a person
and it says like, James somebody or, or like Eloise, whatever.
And it says like, whether they were third class
cabin, second class.
And then at the end you find out if they survived,
which is like, what the fuck.
That's wild.
It feels very weird, but I wonder if this is that.
Like they're like, you were part of the merchant
class and you got to eat chocolate cream pie. It feels very weird, but I wonder if this is that. Like they're like, you were a part of the merchant class
and you got to eat chocolate cream pie.
And then your neighbor just gets to drink dirty well water.
I don't know.
It's like the other tables are.
So maybe they leaned into their role
complaining about the service and everything.
Oh, maybe they were like, this is what people acted like
in Iowa 200 years ago.
Makes sense.
Had an attitude problem. Exactly.
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My next one was sent in by Amy, and this is of the Museum of Ice Cream
in Chicago, Illinois.
Illinois.
This is a little, probably a little different
than that one you just read.
Mom and Francisco were gonna go there.
Yeah.
And then they went and looked in and were like,
nevermind, it's not what we thought.
And so they left.
What does that, what did they think?
I don't know.
So I don't even know what it is.
I just remember they were like gonna go
and then they thought,
eh, it's not as exciting as we'd hoped.
So I want-
Oh, it's more of a selfie museum, I think.
Yes, that was gonna say they're like a bit,
whole sprinkles like ball pit,
but it's a bunch of sprinkles I think,
is what I think of.
It was just not mom and Trotsiska's thing together.
I don't think it's literally-
I feel like they thought it would be
historically more accurate. I do not think it thing together. I feel like they thought it would be historically more accurate.
I do not think it is that.
I think they have ice cream.
I think the word museum is a bit deceiving, but-
Yeah, but that's why it makes sense for this interactive exhibit type, or immersive exhibit,
because it's not just a lame ass museum.
It has places for you to take selfies.
So that's fun. But yeah, they have them in
they have one in New York.
Uh, I passed by it once.
Oh, oh, D and I were like walking around and we
walked by it and it was hot as fuck day.
It was last summer and it was so freaking hot.
And we walked by and the AC from that place, like
we stopped cause we were like, oh my God, that
feels so good in there.
And there are people who are like trying to get in
and they were like, no, no, no, we're sold out today.
They sell tickets ahead of time.
And it was full families, multiple families we saw
in our like 20 seconds there, people like walking up
and being turned away because they didn't already have tickets.
Wow, they know how to get people.
They gotta help consult with the Wonka folks
and get, just crank up the AC that might work
Um, and you also you get unlimited ice cream. So that's and they say 14 plus magical playscapes
So it's a bunch of there's a slide apparently
People are playing connect for okay. There's a lot going on. Anyway, here's a review of that
One star or one star titled overpriced and filthy kitty playpen.
Gross.
This is not a museum rather.
It is an expensive, overcrowded and filthy kitty playpen.
The sprinkle pool, spinkles were lined with, I couldn't get through it.
The tinkle filled, spinkle,. It literally says the Sprinkle Pool Sprinkles.
I love it.
When obviously they meant the Sprinkle Pool Sprinkles.
I don't know, maybe not so obvious.
Maybe there were sprinkles in there, you're right.
You never know.
The Sprinkle Pool Sprinkles were lined with ice cream residue
and there were used tissue papers throughout the mix.
Everything is painted pink and without windows,
you quickly feel claustrophobic.
In fact, the aesthetic overall made me feel
I was in an insane asylum and Jangles the Clown is Mare.
They would need a lithium infused ice cream station
if I were to ever go through this again.
End of review.
Ah!
Coming soon to the ice cream museum.
Ha ha ha.
Now talk about lining up out the door.
I'll be there. Yeah. So, uh,
so it feels like you're in a padded room and maybe you're going to catch a rare
disease from all the spinkles.
And the warden is jangles the clown,
which is the clown from inside out and has a big hammer. It's a whole,
it's freaky.
I haven't seen that in many years. So I don't, I don't recall, but that sounds villainous.
Um, even without the context.
Uh, so, so I've had more review here.
This is another one of living history farms from Brad and I just, yeah, I found
this one to be, um, a funny, like back to back with this first review of the
over attentive
waitstaff you know. So this is a one-star review and this is by Lisa.
Do not go here unless you are going on a special event day. During regular days
they have very few people as interpreters at the various farms. They
also did something very
stupid when we were there yesterday. After we had paid our admission costs at 1.15 PM,
we were told they were going to have many fire drills in the 1750s.
You know what I mean?
Like it's just part of everyday life.
Did you not read the brochure?
Guests did not have to participate,
but no staff would be on site for at least half an hour
during the drill.
They didn't have to participate.
Imagine that weird moment where you have to decide
whether you're like participating in the fire drill
or you're just going to say, fuck it.
And like go around.
I'm picturing the alarm blaring inside.
And they're like, you can stay inside
and listen to that if you want, but.
Like this is legally mandated for us,
but like you have a loophole here.
Oh my God.
Yeah, imagine how like that fire drill going off
and imagine like you're there alone.
Like it must feel very dystopian almost to wander around
and there's just like all these abandoned
like old timey farm equipment
where like someone was just working on like,
I don't know.
Churning some butter and you're like.
Yeah, churning some butter and then all of a sudden
like there's just this red flashing.
It feels kind of cool.
I mean, this sounds like my N.K. Jemisin book
that I've read two pages of, you know? I feel like this, it's kind of cool. I mean, this sounds like my N.K. Jemisin book that I've read two pages of, you know?
I feel like this is a good vibe.
Maybe she should go there to do some research.
Anyway.
So, guests did not have to participate, but no
staff would be on site for at least half an hour
during the drill.
The place closes at four, so we were wandering
around for a half hour with no one to speak to.
They have a tractor shuttle to take you to the
farms, but if you weren't careful about the timing, you would be dropped off and then have to walk back
in 90 degree temperatures. Basically the tractor drives you out and then the fire drill starts.
I think that doing a fire drill is a great idea, but it should be done early in the day
so it has the least impact on your visitors.
There were only five interpreters in the farm area and two of them were leaving for the
fire drill.
After the drill, we only saw three more interpreters.
We have to assume from reading the other reviews that during special events they have a lot
more people on staff.
We were very disappointed with what we got for the admission costs we paid.
End of review. Wow. And I'm just thinking like, and the reason those like clicked for me back to back so well is just
imagine Miranda, that first lady saying, I got interrupted seven times during dinner. Imagine
the fire drill going off. Like, and that, like, that would be the last, the final straw.
But no, I, you know what? I think, I think, I think, I think your first reviewer-
Oh, the staff would be gone. Exactly. The staff would be what? I think, I think, I think, I think your first
foot viewer- Oh, the staff would be gone.
Exactly.
You're so right.
The staff would be gone.
There'd be no one there and it would be a dream.
Can she eat the chocolate pie?
She could go get her own pop.
Yeah.
She could eat as slowly as she wanted.
As slow as she wants.
Wow, that's powerful.
The dream.
You're so right.
The dream.
I'm like, I would like to eat as fast as I can,
but okay, Marissa, Miranda, whatever your name is.
Anyway, yeah.
So this place seems like very interesting.
I don't know.
It feels like the poor staff is just being pulled in a million different directions is
what I'm getting from these reviews.
It does sound like that.
I'd check it out though.
Yeah, I would go if I happen to be in, let me see, Urbandale, Iowa.
By the way, fun name, Urbandale.
Oh, it's Iowa.
Why did I think you said Illinois at first?
I was-
I probably said Illinois by mistake.
Oh, I was fully confident this was in Illinois.
And I literally-
No, you said Chicago, Illinois, Illinois,
and then I said Illinois, Illinois.
So maybe that's why.
No, no, no, I said Illinois before that even, I think.
Well, I thought you said Illinois the first time around.
Anyway, sorry.
That was in Iowa. Okay, then yeah, I won you said Illinois the first time around. Anyway, sorry. That was in Iowa.
Okay, then yeah, I won't find myself there anytime soon.
I've never been to Iowa.
Not even Urbandale?
I mean, now I have a reason to go, so maybe.
Well, I love that it's like Urbandale makes me think
it's like a Disney installation where it's like,
this is the, what do you call it
when all the factories popped up?
The Industrial Revolution.
Like Urbandale.
This is the Industrial Revolution exhibit where you get to learn about pollution and
tenement housing.
And metallurgy.
And you learn a lot about slagpots.
I can't wait actually for that exhibit.
Let me know when that one's open.
Then I'd go to Urbandale
Okay, now I am reading review a review sent in by Corinne of the van goh the immersive experience
Did you go with us when we went in Cincinnati? I was gonna say I think you guys all yeah, I went with Francisco and
Think mom and him and Pam I think was in town.
Yeah.
Her step grandma.
So it was OK.
It was cool.
It was what it was.
Is it sort of like they want you to feel
like you're in the painting, right?
Yeah, kind of.
So there were multiple sections.
And based on the reviews I've read,
it's different per place you go.
I've noticed that because I also read a lot's different per place you go. So I went in Cincinnati.
I also read a lot of reviews.
And I don't fully remember, but I remember there being parts where it's like smaller areas and it's rooms to look like some of his paintings.
And it was pretty cool to see these little like a room and it's, but the furniture is all painted as if he painted it. So it looks really, I thought that was pretty cool.
And then the, the, I think the main thing is the giant room where like you look
at the ceiling and everything and it's like all everywhere around you is his
paintings like projected and like, or like this it's a specially made, um,
video like projected. And, uh, thankfully, I mean, we, what helped for us was we had chairs
and there are these like, but they're like lean way back.
They're like these, I don't know how to like a canvas thing and wouldn't, you know what
I mean?
Like a little hammock chair.
Kind of like a little hammock chair.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And you just sit in there and like relax.
I thought you meant like a popcorn refiner at the AMC's and I was like, that is the dream.
But yeah, so we had, there weren't too many people.
So we had chairs. Some people were complaining they didn't get them. So that is the dream. But yeah, so we had, there weren't too many people, so we had chairs.
Some people were complaining they didn't get them.
So that was really cool.
I thought it was fun to just sit in there
and like watch the video and we'd left once it replayed.
Yeah, take an edible, I mean imagine.
And that would have been even better.
I didn't do that.
Next time.
But that could have helped, not helped,
I didn't need help.
It was cool.
It was cool, it was okay.
That maybe would have helped some of the reviewers,
I will say.
Yeah, I forget how much it was,
but I think it was fairly like pricey.
So I don't know if it was worth it.
It sounds like something they would charge.
Yeah.
Oh, and then, oh my God.
And then we did the VR experience at the very end.
Okay. Well, I was going to ask, is there any VR component?
There is at the very end,
I think like right before the gift shop,
like the last thing there was a VR
where you put the VR helmet on and you like walk through the town that he like would like as if it's his paint.
But like as you walk through, it's like you see different paintings of his and like it was really cool. It was really cool.
I thought that was really I was into it personally. I mean, if VR is not your thing,
or then I wouldn't recommend it because at first I was like,
thought I was going to fall off my chair.
It was, there was a little bit of a,
something to get over the first time you put it on.
I'm like, whoa, this is kind of freaky
cause I'm not used to it.
But then it was really cool.
And there are parts where you got to look around
and you're like, oh my God, there's that painting anyway, you know,
and it tells you what it is. It was cool. Anyway, um, here's a one star review,
though. Uh, this is, yeah, like I said, this was sent in by, uh, Corinne.
This one is in Tucson, Arizona, right next to the olive garden. Um,
here we go, which man,
ours is like downtown and it was in a building that
like was completely nondescript.
It was very weird.
Like a warehouse.
This one's like between a furniture store and a Petco with an olive
garden across the park.
Well, they wanted to add an olfactory set to the VR experience.
Like just like endless breadsticks, you know, as part of it.
Yeah, that might, that makes sense.
Okay.
Here's a one-star review.
Honest review.
Van don't go.
The lackluster dismal experience.
AI could, I will say.
I don't think that one hits my threshold for like, could AI come up with this?
I think maybe they could.
Sorry, but nice try review.
So to be clear, it says van don could, sorry, but nice try review.
So to be clear, it says Van Don't Go colon
and then it continues.
So it's like, cause it's Van Go the immersive experience.
This is Van Don't Go the lackluster dismal experience
drove from Phoenix to Tucson for this immersive experience
and left there feeling ripped off.
Don't pay for the VIP admission
unless you want to be forced
into purchasing an overpriced poster.
The VR experience is only $5.
You'll see at the end of your 30 minute tour.
As for the skip the line perk, what line?
For about an hour on a Saturday afternoon,
we were their only customers.
My father abandoned me when I was a child.
This experience was more depressing than that. End of review.
Well, children are resilient, so I don't think that's a fair comparison.
No, that ain't so true.
But that being said, I'm not going to-
I don't think we can comment on that one, actually.
Yeah, I feel actually maybe that's none of my business.
No, it probably is not.
Maybe you should go to the Titanic immersive exhibit, because I think a lot of people have
come out of their-
Oh no, all those fucking plays of there regretting their suicidal ideation
once they speak to the artifact. I gotta check it out then. I don't know. We'll see what happens.
That's exactly right. I figure maybe we should take a pit stop. Hey look, if there's a chance
it helps me out, why not try it? Why not fly all the way to Vegas? Because right after that,
we got the lithium ice cream and I feel like if nothing else helps, at least we've got that as a backup.
You're right.
Yeah.
We've got options.
So one of these, one of these will fix me.
I'm between therapists, so I need something to keep me going.
Okay.
Well, I have this from Brad, which is most certainly not an immersive exhibit.
Although-
Come on, Brad.
If you stretch the meaning maybe, but he says this is from a family
friendly interactive murder mystery dinner in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. I'll allow it because
it sounds interesting, but Brad, I'm going to say the meanest thing I've ever said to anybody else.
Oh, Oxenor, don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it. I know what you're going to say. Stay sandy.
I feel it like reverberating the power of that fucking diss. I'm so sorry.
Okay, so this is a one star review by Nolan of this murder mystery dinner.
Okay.
Food was fine.
Service was sketchy at best.
We had two tables and one table had finished their meal before the other table got their food.
The show was advertised as family friendly but was quite the opposite. There was constant sexual jokes and lewd references.
When we questioned management about this inappropriate content, we were told the content was
quote, Shrek humor. This is simply not appropriate for our youth mission team, as we were told when we made the reservations.
There we go. Okay, there it is.
Was not even very amusing.
First of all, don't you dare fucking distract humor, okay?
Do not feel it was worth the cost.
When we talked to management, we got the,
oh well, sorry you feel that way,
but no apology or offer to even try to make anything right.
First and last visit.
In fact, we took our group
and left midway through the evening." End of review. Shrek humor, next level way to explain
to people why they don't get it. Oh, I'm sorry. You're a youth group, a Christian youth group.
This is Shrek humor. You're probably in the wrong building.
This is Shrek humor. You're probably in the wrong building. Yeah, because that there is crude humor in Shrek.
But yeah, when you say Shrek humor, I'm like, okay, I understand what level that's at.
Like that. Yeah, it's almost like PG. It's not like, yeah, it's crude at times, but it's not.
Yeah, it's not like to anyone. I would say Lude is a little much.
Well, I was waiting. I was like, what the heck? How does this make sense?
I'm curious.
I thought they'd give an example.
I still wish they had.
Of course not.
I do too.
But they didn't really need to when they set a youth group.
I think that kind of cleared some confusion up.
I absolutely agree.
I imagine some of those members of the group were like, what can we not stay?
Like this is fine.
You know, I imagine this wasn't a whole crew
that was like against this.
It was maybe just the leader who thought that.
It's such a bummer.
All the kids are like, oh, we were having a blast.
They're having a blast.
Field trip for once.
We didn't have to go to the Urban Dale farm
or immersive exhibit for once
and watch someone churn butter.
We actually got to go see Shrek,
the musical at the murder mystery dinner or whatever.
Well, they could have gone to Vegas
and gone to Museum Fiasco.
Have you heard of this?
No.
Me neither.
It sounds like the inside of my mind.
Again, it's another one that Corinne sent in.
No, this is not in Vegas. Sorry, there's one in Vegas. This one's in Charlotte. Wait, Corinne sent in. No, this is not in Vegas.
Sorry, there's one in Vegas.
This one's in Charlotte.
Wait, this is in Vegas.
No, yeah, I was right.
Okay, I was like, I saw it says Charleston.
I'm like Charleston.
I thought you were gonna say Charlotte
and aren't we going there live?
And I was like, I'm so amped for this.
I'm gonna go.
I don't, I think it's only in Vegas.
I'm so sorry.
It's part of, oh, it's area 15.
I feel like I've heard of that. They have, um,
I've heard of that too. They have different like experiences, I think,
like this, uh, anyway, anyway, anyway, um, this,
I'm going to read about museum fiasco.
It's called an immersive audio visual experience. Uh,
the three things that it says on the side are eye opening, great for all ages and available in an experience pass.
So you can like get a pass to go whatever,
but it says eye opening as well.
I'm like, uh-oh, that makes me nervous.
Oh, it's like clockwork orange.
There it is.
It says enter an immersive audio visual simulation
that transports you into the heart
of a sprawling warehouse rave on the outskirts of reality.
What?
I'm sorry.
Synchronized lights and beats recreate the energetic vibes
of an underground rave and gear you up
for the parties ahead.
It is art, it is music, it is your opportunity
to let go and be in the moment.
Enter a sensorial collie, sensorial, S-E-N-S-O-R-I-A-L.
That one's new to me.
I'm gonna just go, I'm just gonna go with it. Enter a sensorial I A L. That was news to me. I'm just going to go with it.
Enter a sensorial kaleidoscope.
Um, okay.
First of all, it's like, it's like going to like EDC, but without going anywhere.
It just like, well, you have to go here.
But you're in a warehouse.
That was also in Vegas.
The EDC was in Vegas when I went last.
I think it's always in Vegas, but yeah, you could actually just go to that.
You don't need to do this.
Crowes and I don't know.
And I also feel that maybe it's not for all ages.
I mean, if it's as realistic as an actual underground rave
on the edge of the perception of reality
or whatever the fuck,
I don't know if a four-year-old is ready for it.
Imagine that youth group there.
Oh, I mean, seriously. And you want to be on that?
Imagine us there as children.
Imagine, oh my God, I would be so terrified.
It's meant to be, but it literally says, it says, get ready to ignite your festival spirit
with this high energy EDM playlist meticulously crafted to serve as the ultimate 16 minute
warmup for the upcoming festival season.
So it's literally geared towards people who are like itching for EDC or similar events.
And yeah, it, it looks kind of wild.
It kind of looks like a laser tag place, but before they put in all the obstacles.
So they were like, let's elevate this.
Pictures I see.
Yeah.
After the laser tag closed during COVID they were like, we need a new. In these few pictures I see, yeah. After the laser tag closed during COVID, they were like, we need a new installation.
We'll sell off all the pirate ships and things and roll.
And vending machines, and instead we'll just like make a-
Blast music really loud.
Yeah, perfect.
No, yeah, I would go, with earplugs I would go.
I'd check it out.
Anyway, here's a review of Museum Fiasco, one star.
Horrible experience.
It's one room and there's nothing infinite about it.
You can very clearly see where each of the finger smudged
mirrors around the small room stand.
Total waste of 36.
Yeah, it's all the toddlers trying to get out.
They're like, why did you bring me here?
There's just like hand prints on the mirrors.
And I love though, like that this starts this way
because it's just, there's nothing infinite about it.
Were you walking in thinking an actual infinite room existed?
Yeah, it's a wormhole.
I would love to be this person if that's true.
I imagine that's not what they actually thought,
but I love how they presented it like,
what, this isn't an infinite room?
You lied to me.
I know your tricks.
I can see the mirrors.
I can see right through it.
I guess I do see that maybe they're saying
that their immersion was ruined by the smudges, you know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
By all the desperate children trying to escape.
I mean, my immersion would probably be ruined by that too.
I don't know if it would be ruined at all
because I don't know if there'd be immersion to begin with.
You'd be one of the children trying to escape.
I'd be closing my eyes.
Total waste of $36 for two people.
And of course the staff did not assist us with a refund
when we came back out seconds after entering
and said we didn't enjoy it enough to stay.
They essentially told us to get bent.
Total cash grab.
There's more fun ways to set your money on fire in Vegas.
Avoid this place.
End of review.
Oh my Lord.
It's just like, you spent a few seconds in there.
You're like, nope, this isn't for me.
Then you should have read the brochure.
I mean, there's nothing, like I read that whole
thing and I'm like, you got probably what you
paid for, I don't know.
I was going to say, I don't think, I think there's
truth in this advertisement.
Like it seems like it's pretty much telling you
exactly what it
is. It's called Museum Fiasco. I mean, I didn't expect it to be one tiny room. I don't know.
Pete There is a response from owner. It's nothing too wild. I just think it's kind of funny.
In the wise words of Mark Twain, it were not best that we should all think alike.
And while the vast majority of our visitors are enthralled with the museum fiasco experience, we get that there's always room for interpretation
and varying expectations and of response.
That's nice. So that's a nice way of saying get bent.
A thoughtful response. Yeah. I like how they're like, they essentially told us to get bent.
I'm like, did they quote Mark Twain? Because that would cut deep. Like if somebody told
me to get bent, I'd be less offended than if they like quoted Mark Twain
and made me feel like a douchebag.
Now that I'm looking at their like other responses,
I'm going to read one more response
and complaining that it was a money grab and stuff.
And then that it was not art or whatever.
And they, their response was,
life and art would be dull indeed if we all agreed that it was not art or whatever. And their response was,
life and art would be dull indeed if we all agreed.
When redefining entertainment and expression,
it's not unexpected to ruffle a few feathers.
End of response.
Wow.
I kind of love them.
Maybe they use this as like a spoken word poetry.
It's kind of wild.
Slam at night.
I love how I'm like, my initial reaction okay. It's not that deep like it's this
Yeah, silly experience type thing. But hey, like it's a good response to these people
Maybe if you do have that immersive experience you come out on the other side like kind of transformed
You're right. Like maybe maybe maybe we just don't get it using words like sensorial. I mean, that was a word
I'm Certainly me neither.
Anyway, too bad there's no way to find out.
So this is from Denise Sheher
and it is of Meow Wolf Denver.
Ah, yes.
Yes.
Have you been or was, you did not?
I have not.
You did not partake.
I did not, did you?
No, I believe Em has, right?
Like I felt-
Oh, many times, yes.
Yeah, I know, I knew there was a connection with Em
and I wasn't sure if you've also gone.
Yeah, it's sort of like M's favorite place,
but then they went a couple of times and were like,
okay, I've seen it.
And now they go do other things.
But I know that they like it.
They got a lot of like,
tchotchkes from there.
Tchotchkes?
Like tchotchkes?
Yeah.
Yeah, but like, you know, a chachka.
Yeah. Is that something different?
No, it's the same. Okay. Just checking. I think it's just like a different way of pronouncing the Yiddish.
Got it.
Em always just says chachka and it makes me laugh.
I've never heard it in my life, said that way. I like it.
Yeah, I don't know if Em's the more Jewish one out of the two of us, so I'm like, I'm going to trust you.
I'm thinking like the more Jewish one.
I know, but it's like also only celebrates,
like celebrates like Christmas and Easter.
So I'm like, you know, I don't want to be like,
anyway, I just feel like I'm, I'm just,
tchotchke is-
Tchotchke, okay, M has tchotchke.
It's a sensorial tchotchke anyway.
So what, I don't totally know what Mount Wolf is though.
Okay, so the way it's been described to me is it almost like you go into, so I think the one in
Denver, I believe is meant as it's like an immersive art experience and it's very like,
what's the word, interactive. And so I think the one in Denver or one of them is like a
futuristic grocery store, I think. Oh, okay. And they like sell,
they have like, you walk through and see all the shelves and you can like pick
stuff up and it'll be, yeah, it's like a little bit strange.
You can actually buy the stuff, right? And you can buy the stuff.
And so Emma's bought like, Oh God, like a cereal box or something.
And so we have a show in Denver this year, so.
Oh, you know what?
You're right.
Maybe we should go.
Until the end of summer, huh?
I know, right?
Hey, it's funny you mentioned,
Urbandale, Iowa, no, yeah, Iowa.
Okay, yeah, so I don't know.
I've never been, so I feel like I'm not giving it
really quite the-
It looks pretty wild.
I just Googled it.
It looks pretty wild. It's trippy.
It looks pretty wild, yeah.
You know, and so it looks pretty cool.
So this is from Denise Sheher, and it's a one-star review by a local guide of the one in Denver.
This place is very dark. I saw a lot of images that I did not agree with.
They looked like they were worshipping evil. Rather scary, honestly.
There also was just some very dark environment and it is not kid-friendly. Definitely not
a place for kids. I feel like you needed to be on drugs. There really wasn't any explanation
as to what this place was. But if this is considered art, I don't want anything to
do with it or my family. Which by the way, I just, that phrasing, I don't want anything to do with it or my family.
Which by the way, I just, that phrasing, I don't want anything to do with it.
Or with my family.
Yeah.
It's like, maybe you should take this to someone else.
Um, I don't want anything to do with it or my family.
I would never step foot back in here again.
You have to pay $16 for parking in the parking lot.
And then you have to pay $40 to $35
if you're a resident and $5 less for kids. They don't even have a nursing area for mothers so
women are breastfeeding in the bathroom. Oh no! That's my own. Oh, okay. I was like, wow. Sorry.
Oh, and you have to leave your stroller outside. I don't know what this place is, but it's definitely
is not a good one. Don't waste your money. End of review. Um.
Man, it's, it's so funny. I feel, I feel there were some critiques in there that seem fairly
valid and, but starting it off with them worshiping-
Yeah, it's disgusting to breastfeed in front of someone. So I totally-
That's not what I'm saying. I know, I know. I'm kidding.
But like, um, like having a place, like it can't hurt to be like, oh, it would be nice to have
a breastfeeding station and not to keep breastfeeding away from others. Like just
if people are more comfortable with that. That's all I meant. Yeah. Like, um, but,
and like the parking being very expensive, but why would you start it off with they're worshiping
evil here? Like, I'm not going to take you seriously. If you-
But it almost feels like they're saying, oh,
there's no, like kids should not be here, but then
there are like people breast, they need a place for
people to breastfeed.
Oh, and a stroller, the stroller.
And a stroller parking.
And I'm like, okay, it's starting to feel like you
were just more inconvenienced than anything else.
Which you can have a valid review.
Yeah. And review that.
But saying they were, I think it's, honestly,
it's insidious to say that they're like worshiping evil
because of the art that you don't understand.
Or like they're not worshiping evil.
That's crazy.
That and then the breastfeeding comment to me
in my mind is so funny.
It's like, oh my God, there are ladies breastfeeding
around the corner.
Like it feels very like, this some sort of my pearls thing like yeah
Yeah, it's just like yeah, it's ridiculous
But parts of the hey, I will say parts of that review made me want to go I'm in you know
Breastfeeding yeah, I get to I get to walk in on women breastfeeding how exciting. Yeah, that's totally what I meant
You get to park your stroller outside
That's totally what I meant. You get to park your stroller outside.
Okay, we're going to go there in a normal way
when we go to Denver.
Okay, in a normal way, what, on drugs?
Like, okay.
Like, not breastfeeding.
Okay, nevermind.
Yeah, breastfeeding is so abnormal, ew.
Well, you know, yeah.
I don't know.
It is when you're not breastfeeding anyone. You got me there.
I did, didn't I?
You got me there.
I'm moving on to my final review.
We lost that one real quick.
That one's south.
Okay.
My last review here, uh, before the challenge, um, I mean,
you have more, I assume,
but this one was sent in by Izzy, they, them,
who, uh, was sent in a review of Imagine Exhibitions, Inc.
And this is in, this is, I wanna say,
this might be the company, the planner that they reviewed.
I'm trying to see, no, is it at this location?
It's confusing.
Anyway, they went to a dinosaur exhibit,
this reviewer did at this place.
And here's a one-star review of their experience at the Dino experience.
We went to the Dino exhibition in Atlanta.
We were told by the employee at the entrance that the exhibition was appropriate for a
two and a half year old and that the dinosaur in the first room was the scariest.
That was not true.
We had to quickly walk through the entire exhibition,
and the company refused to refund us.
End of review.
Oh, they were too scared?
Yeah, they were like, the first one's the scariest.
And then it's like, oh, that is not true.
The rest were fucking terrifying.
Yeah, but like, how much scarier does that make it?
Like, if you're wanting to be scared, and they said, don't worry, it's not scary, and then it just gets scar how much scarier does that make it? Like if you're
wanting to be scared and they said don't worry it's not scary and then it just gets scarier and scarier like yeah that's actually pretty fun. Wait, so how did they say they brought it child? Yeah,
two and a half years old. Oh that's literally Leona's two and a half yesterday so I feel like
I get the but also for what it's worth I don't think it's designed to be scary You know, like I'm looking at a photo of it and it's just a picture of this
Insane looking dinosaur. I mean long claws and like kind of furry whatever and there's like a kid looking at it and taking a picture
Like a little a small child like probably older like four or something. I don't know
I have a very bad next one ages, but like The child is gone and the dinosaur says, yummy.
And just licking its lips, yeah.
Yeah.
But no, it's like not, it's not like a horror walkthrough,
you know, it's just like a dinosaur exhibit.
It's not a jump scare situation.
Yeah, it's not intended that way.
Aw, that's sad you had to run through with your toddler.
Like close your eyes.
I mean, that's probably scarier that,
that like gives it the Jurassic Park vibe, you running through eyes. I mean, that's probably scarier that like gives it
the Jurassic Park vibe, you running through it.
You know, it would be smart though,
to make the scariest first, I think.
In this case, to be like, look, this is the bar.
Let's gauge the reaction.
If you can handle this, like keep going.
If you can't turn around.
Maybe they're like a normal person, a normal child,
and they're scared of the flying dinos,
like, cause they're more like birds. Yeah. And so they're like, oh,, a normal child, and they're scared of the flying dinos, like, because they're more like birds.
And so they're like, oh, this is scarier for some reason,
the ones that fly around.
I think they are, especially because, to me,
because their method of attack is just,
I'm not looking up at the sky all the time.
Amen, amen.
And the agility that they have in the air
is something that I literally will never be able to match.
Yeah, yeah, very pointy, very pointy, those dinosaurs.
So when they fly down, it's like,
what do I do to defend myself?
Scream, you can't.
A big dinosaur is walking your way,
you'd hide somewhere, I don't know, you'd stop moving.
But the ones coming from above. What do you do?
You and I would be such idiots in this place would be like,
okay, stand still, play dead. Don't move. Look how sharp that
dinosaur is. Okay, this is another review of idiots right
now. No. Um, don't say that more meow wolf. So you said yeah,
Um, don't say that. More Meow Wolf? Is that what you said? Yeah, Denver. Um, One Star by Milton.
This was the second visit. The first visit was fine. This time there was some changes to displays which were rather disturbing. Two rooms specifically had heavy satanic and demonic displays.
specifically, had heavy satanic and demonic displays. Not cool whatsoever, especially for a place that advertises it is okay for kids. I will never return, and I will strongly recommend
against this place. It was bad enough when the presentation generated at the information booth
from the first kiosk from the cue card establishing the storyline of a multi-dimensional meld where the alien character
presented their pronouns as they them.
Really?
An alien from another dimension is woke?
You have to push that on me?
That I have to have satanic displays pushed on me as well for the prices I paid?
You have lost your mind.
End of review.
No, you're the only one who's lost, lost their
mind. That's insane. I think they're standing in that fiasco museum staring at the mirror,
screaming, you've lost your mind to themselves because you've lost your mind, my friend,
and Milton. My goodness. I mean, the pronouns thing is hysterical. Like, oh, so you're trying
to tell me that pronouns didn't vote, I mean,
that aliens didn't vote for Donald Trump? Is that what you're trying to tell me? That
the extraterrestrials don't use the gender binary?
I mean, yeah, that's what's so crazy to me is like, when you ever talk about aliens,
like, when, when have you used anything but they, them, like, normal? Like, are you like,
just the concept of aliens or an alien existing. It's just so bizarre.
Like, how would you even know?
Anyway, it's just a wild thing to presume
that you know better how aliens are politically aligned
and their gender construct is the same as ours?
And also I just wanna add to that Denise sent it in
with a picture that she and her husband took there.
And the pentagram that this reviewer is mentioning
has like all these laundry symbols.
Like it's kind of like a, it's like a joke.
I mean, it has like, you know, delicates
and it has like the symbols for laundry,
different types of dry cleaning laundry, you know.
And so, yeah, she was like, I don't, like it wasn't,
it was a pretty obviously not satanic worship, you know?
Um, but you know, you can't really tell somebody
like this.
Oh my, yeah.
I mean, yeah.
It's what do you do?
What do you say?
What do you literally like they're so ingrained?
I mean, they hopefully they can, I don't know.
They can grow next time they're abducted and they
ask like, are you a girl or a boy?
The aliens like, wow, humans really are.
So backwards.
Humans really haven't evolved.
But it does remind me of a game I've been playing on stream called Outer Wilds.
And the aliens in fact do have they them pronouns sometimes or he, him or she her pronouns.
And yeah, I was just like, oh, that's nice.
Like it makes sense.
It just made sense.
I would appreciate if you stop pushing this on me.
Highly recommend Outer Wilds.
It's been lots of fun on stream.
I'm like obsessed with it.
I'm assuming you're telling that to everyone else,
but I'm gonna take that.
I'm not talking to you.
Well, I know, but I'm saying,
I'm gonna take the recommendation,
but I guess now I shouldn't.
Oh, you should, but you, yeah.
Well, you just said like, it's not for you, so.
Because you're.
Wow, that was like really aggressive.
You're throwing random shit in.
I'm making a great.
No, I said, I'm assuming you're telling this
to our listeners, but I'm gonna write it down too.
Oh, got it, got it, okay.
And then you got all mad at me about it,
so I was like, fine, I won't play it.
Geez, okay.
You can.
Highly recommend it.
Doesn't feel right anymore.
That's fine.
You'd love it.
This is from Catherine Sheher who said,
first time emailing, but I've been a patron for a few months now. Yay. And this is of a Monet in Paris exhibit. So it's sort of like Van Gogh, but Monet.
I saw the company.
It's sort of like Van Gogh,, I think there have been multiple Van Gogh ones, but the
one I was thinking of, they also did, they do a lot of different types, but I think that Monet is
one of the ones they did and they also did like a Gustav Klimt one. Oh, that would be cool. I
actually know some of those paintings. Anyway, cool. And you know, that one in Paris, I feel
that's that audience is not. Oh, no, I'm sorry. It's actually in Perth, but the And you know, that one in Paris, I feel that's that audiences not.
Oh no, I'm sorry.
It's actually in Perth, but the Perth Australia.
Well, it's Monet in Paris is the name of the
exhibit.
I'm so sorry.
No, I guess I'm not that stupid.
That was confusing, but got Monet in Paris, Perth.
And I read that probably 16 times before I
understood what was happening.
So it's not on you.
That's funny.
Okay.
I just didn't clarify and now I realize I should have.
So it is Monet in Paris, which is the whole theme of this exhibit.
And then it's taking place in Perth.
And so this is a one star review and I'm going to keep the name, uh, because
the name is Pablo.
So one star review by Pablo.
What a total waste of Monet.
Absolute ripoff.
Go and throw your money away at the casino next door.
Got better value at Subway across the road.
This is just a PowerPoint presentation with a bored audience loitering on the floor looking
on.
The only thing stunned by this experience was my wallet.
End of review.
Um, Pablo? Picasso? It's all coming together. The only thing stunned by this experience was my wallet, end of review.
Pablo Picasso. Oh, it's all coming together.
I was like, why do you say Pablo like that?
Yeah, you kept staring at me like, please elaborate.
And I said, I won't.
I was thinking of Pablo the Penguin.
Oh, no, I did not.
Well, could be, but I meant more Pablo Picasso
trying to throw shade because Monet and Van Gogh got their own exhibits.
And Picasso's like, what about me?
And everyone's like, yours would be really hard
to go to deal with.
Terrifying.
We need a technology to advance like insurmountably
before we can do a Picasso immersive.
I feel like the place that needs to do that.
Fiasco museum.
Nailed it, would be the Fiasco museum, absolutely.
Definitely, definitely.
But I would love some Pablo Picasso artifacts
from that Titanic.
Oh, true, because I'm feeling a little depressed.
We need to help our mental health at the same time.
Yeah, certainly.
So I just love that, because when you said earlier, oh, they're all different
in the different locations, my immediate thought was this guy saying, it's
just a PowerPoint, which the thought of that is very delightful to me that
it's just a PowerPoint.
Someone was complaining saying like, Oh, this was that expensive.
I could have set up all these things myself.
And I'm like, I don't think the money came.
I could have bought all these mirrors and lights at Walmart.
And I'm like, yeah, but I don't think the expenses were like setting up the room more
so than it was the creation of the experience and the visuals.
Right, it wasn't like the electric bill from plugging in the projector.
Yeah.
It's like, there's a little more to it.
Look at those Hollywood budgets.
You're like that money is mostly going on.
A lot of it is going to the effects because they
Gotta do some crazy shit
But yeah, I saw a lot of those two like they got this projector at the Dollar General. I'm like, oh
That's a weird thing to say also. Do they even sell anyway?
Oh and I meant oh I actually put this I actually wrote this before you would ever even ask me if I brought any Wonka
Stuff, but I was gonna say this reminds me of the Wonka exhibit
that AI created of like, oh, it's this immersive Monet thing
and then it's like a PowerPoint and you're like,
and there's someone eating a Subway sandwich
and you're like, wait, this is the Monet in Paris, Perth?
So this is my last one, it's from Ansley She Her
and it's of a place in DC called Art-Tech, Art-Tech House.
If only we had a show in DC.
We do.
I was like, shit, I thought we did.
Okay.
You're confusing me.
This is, it's, I can't, I actually, I'm going to be honest with you.
The name really is hard for me because I don't know why it's meant to be Art Tech House.
Art Tech House?
Art Tech House.
It just, for some reason it trips me up.
But anyway, it's immersive art and tech experiences.
And it says here from their website,
at intersection of art, science and technology,
Art Tech House brings digital and innovative art
to the public.
It's the most unique art destination in DC.
So I have a
one-star review, and this is my last one. This by Kev, a local guide. One star.
I was in town with my girlfriend to see the sights, and we decided to take a break from
the museums and memorials to check out this interactive art exhibit. The reviews made
it sound awesome, and I suppose if you've never experienced anything like it, for example
a Windows XP screensaver would do the trick, you might find it fun, but I've been to
similar places in Japan and once you've been to those, you realize this place is an
insult and a ripoff. It's a shell of what it should be, and it costs waaaaaay more than
it should. You're basically paying a huge cover to get into a bad bar, which looked
closed. There's only a few
exhibits and half of them don't really work. Going from interactive art places in Japan
to this place is like going from swimming in an Olympic sized pool to swimming in a bathtub.
Technically it's the same thing. It's not by the way. I just like want to insert my own opinion,
which is an Olympic
size pool and a bathtub are not the same thing in like most regards, except that there's water in
it. That's it. Like that's literally it. Technically it's the same thing, but one is amazing and one
is depressing. Now I would argue to me, the Olympic size pool is more depressing than a bathtub
because I would rather be in a bathtub than an Olympic size pool.
100%.
But I think they're trying to make the opposite claim.
Yes.
Unclear.
And then they wrote, our tech house DC is depressing.
And there was a response, it basically was pretty boilerplate saying like,
this is a cutting edge immersion gallery,
but I feel like they were just never going to reach the Japanese
version of what this person has experienced and told us about multiple times that it was in Japan.
It's like saying, oh, I went to a magic show in Vegas, and then I went to a magic show
in another random town and it was not the same level. It's like, well, that's not a fair comparison.
Exactly, there's context.
There's context here.
But I guess if it's like for the money and stuff,
if you're like paying a ton of money
and you're like, wait a second.
I mean, to be fair, you go look at a big old Abe
in his big chair and you're like, whoa, this is immersive.
So I mean, maybe the bar's already too high in DC.
Like there's also the thing that always makes me so,
so motion sick at the Air and Space Museum.
Oh, I love that thing.
The flight simulator.
Flight simulator.
So like maybe, I don't know, but maybe,
maybe there's just in the wrong market, you know?
DC is such an immersive town already.
I mean, there's a big swamp right there. I thought that thing was the coolest thing back in 2007.
Same. It was. I just kept throwing up afterwards. Yeah. But, uh,
worth it.
Yeah. The person I was in it with said it was stuck and we were just rolling,
rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling over and like, and it wasn't stuck. He was just doing that. What a dick. Yeah. I was having fun.
On his body. Oh, okay. Oh, you puke on his body. Okay. Yeah. Please don't. Um,
then stop spinning it in a barrel. I mean, I was fine. I didn't puke. If I would have puked,
it would have gotten on him. Don't worry. We were in a small cockpit. Anyway, I'm going to move on to my
challenge from Delphi. Just a reminder, it was reviews where the reviewer
demands a response from Valerie Parhill personally. And then Delphi says,
I'm so excited you chose my challenge idea. I wanted to help Zandy with some
reviews, so I had a weed gummy and went down the QVC rabbit hole.
I know, right?
A person after my own heart.
My favorite activity.
I was expecting more of a sassy energy,
but these Val pals are just obsessed with Valerie.
Val pals?
Val pals?
That's good.
Then she sent some things, but what I'm bringing
is she had sent these screenshots
from Valerie Parhill's Facebook page, which I hadn't gone to.
Me neither.
I'm glad I didn't go. And I'm glad that I got content though from it, despite not having to go.
I had to mute her on Instagram because it's always like, he is risen. And then like a crooked post, like a crooked Easter graphic, you know?
And I'm like, I can't look at this any longer.
How long were you looking at it? Let's move on so long
Like I couldn't stop just like entranced. Uh, got it. I had to mute her
Well, so what this was interesting about this is I learned something. So valerie par hill has his facebook page
And here's a comment under one of the posts
Is it the val pal's official?
It literally is just her page,
like how you have a Facebook page for yourself.
Oh, got it.
Like not, because you have one as,
like you have one, right?
The Christine Chapel official.
Nevermind, I'm just reading.
Okay.
So here's a comment.
Someone said, I love her stuff
and bought a lot through the years,
but I think her item are more geared towards older looks.
A young bride or someone at a younger age
would think not for me, Val, please get more modernized
and gear items towards a younger crowd,
more in style than lovely.
Okay. Classic Facebook comment.
Fucking rude, first of all.
That's what I was thinking too.
I'm like, that has to do with comments like this
on her own Facebook page.
And first of all, like she's not sitting there
like drawing them.
Second of all, or maybe she is,
that would be something else.
Second of all, even if she is like,
that's really rude to be like, this is for old ladies.
Like, this isn't for young, cool people.
It's just like, get away from here.
And also it's QVC.
And then someone replied, who's a top fan, by the way, credit,
where credit's due, replied to that and said, for my taste,
Valerie's items are classic and timeless.
Beautiful.
And guess who liked that comment?
No.
Valerie.
So that's her fucking response. She's like, I'm actually just tagging on this. She's reading this stuff. And guess who liked that comment? No. Valerie. So-
That's her fucking response.
She's like, I'm actually just tagging on this.
Oh shit, she's reading this stuff.
She's reading these comments.
And so I'm like, oh fuck.
Like that, when you have that realization,
it's like, same with me.
I feel like we've commented on something before or we've,
and someone has said something like,
oh, I didn't think you'd actually read that.
100%.
And I'm like, of course. People say that all the time. They're like, I didn't think you'd actually read that. 100%. And I'm like, of course. People say that all the time.
They're like, I didn't think you'd ever see this.
You're writing about me on the internet.
I'm gonna, I don't see everything
because I have now turned off a lot of notifications,
but like, yeah.
But the internet wants us to see it.
The internet is like, hey, someone's talking about you.
Yeah, and you see this shit anyway.
So that was like a, oh shit, Valerie's like that too.
Like she reads this stuff and she sees it.
Aw, she's just like one of us.
Yeah. And then, but I will read the other responses.
Someone said in response, a young bride or a younger age,
unlikely to be watching QVC, Valerie is targeting the buying age group.
First of all, I love that I'm immediately one of the QVC Val pals. I'm like,
how dare you? First of all, I think her stuff is timeless. Secondly, like, this is QVC, the market demographic.
And then it turns out that's literally what all the
Valhalla's are saying.
That's literally what they're saying, yes.
Wow, so relatable.
But that original commenter responded to that one saying,
not true to say a younger customer isn't watching.
We don't know that, just hoping for newer choices.
We literally do, it's called Nielsen ratings.
What do you mean we don't know that?
We literally have like statistics that say the ages.
There's no way to know.
And I think what's silly about it too is like, Valerie has her thing set up. Like it's good.
Like she's not trying to fucking-
She's just like living her life.
Exactly.
Find another person selling shit.
It's her style and her design. I don't know. It's not for everyone, but it's like
when people, and I keep comparing it to myself because it's just my experience, but like,
when people will complain about our show being very bantry or too bantry, I'm like, that's just
what we do. That's going to be our show. Like we're not going to do like a 20 minute show
of only reviews and then move on. Like, and then if we did, then people would be like, what the
fuck? I hate this now.
Some. Yeah.
But other people would probably like it.
So it's like, you're not just move on kind of thing.
So with, with Valerie Park Hill, it's like,
why are you trying to get her to change her design style
and everything?
And also like, can't you find another,
why do you need to buy your bird statues from Valerie?
I mean, there's plenty of options.
Like if you want a more youthful, modern bird statue,
find another one. Like I'd see internet age. Find somebody else who makes really modern gifts for the new bride.
Honestly, maybe trying to give them too much of a benefit of the doubt.
Maybe they're like, they wanted to buy something for Valerie and for like,
they're, I don't know, someone there that they know who's getting married.
Cause it was very specific with the young bride. Maybe I don't know what the post was. So maybe it was related to that. It was based on whatever the
post was about. I don't have that in the screenshot, but yeah, maybe they're like Valerie, I want to
like buy more stuff for other people, but you're- So stop making it so bad. It's like, well that's-
Get good Valerie, get good. It's not helpful. Anyway, then this is just kind of silly.
So, Valerie posted something.
I don't have that in the screenshot because again, I did not go to Valerie Parkhill's
Facebook page.
I only use these screenshots and I'm very grateful for that, Delphi.
But someone commented on a post and said, where did you get them?
Valerie liked it and replied, specialty needle point stores.
Okay.
So we actually got a response about something that same person responded
to Valerie and said, how much chicken do you use in your chicken noodle, noodle
casserole?
Sorry.
What?
I'm joining this Facebook group immediately.
I don't give a two shits.
I'm in.
I'm in.
You're literally asking about needle point.
And then you're like, oh, now that I have your attention.
I was almost before you even said the chicken thing
and you said they responded.
I was like, that's the danger of engaging.
Now suddenly you're on the hook.
And so I feel a little stream sometimes.
I'm like, someone says something, I respond.
And they say something else that I don't want to respond to.
I'm like, oh shit, you got me, you got me.
Did you, did Valerie give any insight into the chicken?
No.
Wow, so she just knows her fucking boundaries.
She's like, that is not relevant right now.
Same though, actually.
Sometimes you just gotta move on.
I love that for her.
You know, it's good.
Absolutely.
But I do want to say,
I've meant to read this beforehand,
but Delphi also said,
I don't even know if these would complete the challenge
since they're not demanding an answer.
They're just addressing Valerie personally.
Good enough for me though.
So good enough for the person who gave the challenge,
good enough for me as well.
So for these other reviews.
I would say more than good enough.
Oh, I agree.
Really exceeding my expectations. Because I thought, I didn't think there would be an
actual response. I think like, I thought, oh, demanding a response just means like,
Valerie help me. But I didn't think she would actually reply.
Call to action to Valerie. Yeah.
Call to action.
And this one actually, we got a response.
Wow, that's incredible.
Then we have, I'm moving on to an email from Brad, he, him.
You know, I need to double check now.
Did Brad tell me to stay Sandy?
I have to see, is this the same brand?
Hey, hey, can I say something?
God damn it, Brad.
Can I say something?
Tell me.
You also told Brad to stay Sandy, so I think you're even.
Brad did not say, say Sandy to me. Oh, in this one you Sandy so I think you're even. Brad did not say say
Sandy to me. Oh in this one you mean. Oh I'm sorry. This is the same Brad who's
telling you to say Sandy. What the fuck Brad. What's going on here because this email is
directed at me so I appreciate you Brad I'm sorry I told you to say Sandy. Here
is, it might not even be the same Brad.
It's definitely the same brand.
Brad says, Brad, what?
I'm not even going to use his real name anymore.
Got him.
Okay.
Brad says, hi Zandi, wanted to send something in for your challenge coming up with something,
someone demanding answers from Valerie directly.
Couldn't seem to find anything to work. Then I stumbled upon something no one should be subjected to, QVC forums.
And so-
I mean, speak for yourself, but okay.
This one is, so Brad doesn't think this relates too well to the challenge.
Actually, I thought it was pretty good.
Valerie is mentioned.
I think it counts.
And the way it's mentioned is hilarious to me.
So Brad, thank you for sending this in.
Here's a post.
Brad sent a murder mystery review for the immersive exhibit.
So you know what, Brad?
And it's probably because pretty much every episode
we talk about stretching the rules
and how we don't even care.
And we just wanna bring something funny.
That's exactly right.
Brad knows full well what he's doing.
So true.
So this is apparently an update that Cat here had posted.
This is from posting 2011 about.
What kind of forum is this?
Like it's a QVC forum?
It is community.qvc.com.
It is QVC like sanction.
Like an offshoot forum.
It's within the QVC website.
So at the top you see the full QVC stuff. So I actually don't know how one gets there,
you know, like, but we're here.
Um, and yeah, there's.
I'm sure I'm here.
Definitely.
There's, uh, the forums and they are still
active, like as of today, someone posted today.
Beautiful.
Um, talking about Passover.
I don't know.
It was me.
I was like, I was, I was like, get Alexander
out of the Valpal group because he's just
bringing negativity. Uh, whoops. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm talking about Passover. I don't know. It was me. I was like, get Alexander out of the Valpal group
because he's just bringing negativity.
Whoops, guilty.
So here is a post from Kat and it is a fucking mess
and I'm excited to read it.
And I'd say it's a negative.
This is probably deserves some negative music,
but if you can't keep up, don't worry.
It's not worth trying. If you're trying to follow, don't bother, just listen. Are you saying, I up, don't worry. It's not worth trying.
If you're trying to follow, don't bother.
Just listen.
Are you saying, I thought you were reading it.
No, no, sorry.
This is to all of you.
This is, this is a-
Oh, gotcha.
I'm just trying to like set expectations.
Set expectations.
Here we go.
Okay.
It's a lot.
Okay.
Hi, first of all, keep in mind,
I already have my Christmas gifts wrapped and chipped.
All done for 2012. My sis and best friend in Florida.
Okay, so I see Valerie's TSV trees and think I love them,
but I am not sure about the base of the trees being plastic or glass.
I call QVC and they tell me, don't know.
I decide to ask a question next to the reviews on the item about the plastic.
Two days later, I get an answer that the only plastic is the bottom where the batteries
go, but the base around the battery pack is glass.
Not true, by the way.
That part is plastic.
So I guess the person who said glass should not have answered if they did not buy the
item and really did not know the answer.
Great, I said to myself.
So I go ahead and order three sets of the silver for myself
to use this year, along with a silver set for my best friend
and a gold set for my sister to also put away for next year.
Total five sets.
Now I start looking at the video again
and see that the trees look better in sets of two.
So I decide to wait list, which was not available before,
a set of green for my sis to go with the gold and two sets of icy blue.
One for me and one for my best friend to go with the silver sets. Another three sets.
This is why I failed the SAT. I'm like, I'm trying to, I really like, cause you said you don't have to try and follow.
So immediately I'm like, I'm going to follow every weave and wave and turn.
I promise it's not worth it because it just keeps going.
And I got lost at this point and it gets even more convoluted.
Okay.
Okay, okay.
The next day, after the review started coming in, I realized that the sets of the red, green
and blue were not good.
So I cancel that waitlisted order and decide to reorder.
Another gold instead of the green and two more silver instead of the blue.
Again, another three sets in addition to the original five sets ordered.
Well, on my first order of five, I look in my order status and see that there is one
tracking number for all five sets.
Normally there should have been two, one for the four silver sets and one for the gold
set.
I was right.
But I call QVC and they tell me there are three tracking numbers. One number for two silver sets, one number for the other two silver sets, and a third number for the one gold set.
Today I got two boxes. One silver set and one gold set. That is it.
What happened is QVC shipping took each vendor, Valerie box, and sent out each separately.
Five boxes, but only three tracking numbers. What? Confused emoji. I called the corporate office and now they're trying
to figure out what happened. To add insult to injury, I open the one gold set
that I got and I see that the bases of the trees are all scratched and plastic
not glass. I open the silver set. Same thing. Crying emoji. I immediately call
the corporate office back again and tell them all are
going back if i ever get the five total sets and then i call and cancel my second order of three
more sets before they are shipped and i am billed i can't believe i have agita agita agita i've never
heard that that's another new word i learned i didn't think I'd learn a word from the QVC forums,
but Adjita.
Okay.
I can't believe I have Adjita, did I spell that right?
For next year's gifts.
Oh, by the way, there was a little note card
in one of the boxes from Valerie with a phone number on it.
I decided to call her as well.
And it turns out that the telephone number is,
get this, Mr. Christmas. Mr. Christmas,
if I had known that from the beginning-
Father Nicholas? Who?
I thought this was Valerie.
Papa Noel? Himself?
The man himself. Mr. Christmas, if I had known that from the beginning, I would not have
ordered at all. Sorry, this is so long, but I needed to vent. I now think it is time for a martini.
Thumbs up emoji.
End of post.
I'm sorry.
I thought we were six deep by the time the end of this.
Cause I'm so lost.
It was so confusing.
In the sauce, as I keep saying for some reason today.
It was so confusing.
I've never said before.
My agita is out of control.
Uh, my sensorial overload is like killing me.
Uh, Alexander, what on earth?
I don't know.
I really don't know.
This is like when I read that very spiritual
philosophical book, um, The Untethered Soul.
And I was like, wow, this is like teaching me
so much and I want to share it with people.
It's almost like, and I know how woo woo it is,
but it's like, wow, it really encourages you to
just like take a step back much like the, um,
much like the expert at the Titanic exhibit and
really take stock of your life and like, is this
really as important as I think it is?
Yeah.
And I don't mean that in a belittling way
because I get worked up about, uh, I don't know,
a paper cut or whatever.
But this just seems like, wow, they're adding a lot
of strain to their heart and emotions about something,
about something that I can't even follow the plot.
No. I don't know, I don't know.
I also couldn't follow it.
I had no idea what was going on.
Was this like something with high engagement,
high traffic or not really?
Literally nothing.
Were people just like backing off?
See, like people probably were like backing off slowly
like, okay, we don't even know how to help people.
No likes, no replies.
Oh my God, so she's just screaming into the void.
Yeah, which kind of stinks.
But I mean, she's posted elsewhere
as a regular contributor.
Well, she's probably elsewhere as a regular contributor.
So it's just a vent.
And screamed about Mr. Christmas too, I imagine.
Yeah, of course.
I do hope she felt better after that vent.
I certainly did not, but I hope that she managed
to figure some shit out.
Maybe this is just a coping mechanism.
And I mean, let's see.
Oh no, yeah, I don't blame her for posting.
It wasn't like anything that bad.
I just could not follow.
I'm just totally.
Yeah, but I also just love the fact
that there was a phone number
and she literally tried to call Valerie herself
to complain about this.
Hilarious because me as a millennial,
I would immediately text the number
and it would be like, this is not a valid number.
And I'd be like, then I'm in trouble
cause I'm not calling anybody.
You don't think Mr. Christmas texts? I'm in trouble cause I'm not calling anybody. Mr. Christmas.
You don't think Mr. Christmas texts?
I could see it.
I bet he snap, I bet he snaps.
True.
I'll say that much.
That's a good point.
Okay, my last two, these are both from Francesca, she, her.
So this first one is of a set of three
illuminated mercury glass eggs by Valerie.
Oh my God, yes, everything is an illuminated Mercury Glass.
There's one for every season or Mercury Glass bunnies,
Mercury Glass trees,
Mercury Glass ornaments and hearts.
These are sets of three eggs that are very shiny
that sit on your table or something.
He is risen.
A color in blue, color in pink, very bright, very shiny.
Yeah, here's a review.
This is a three star review.
It's a negative, I'd say.
Very pretty, but not a fan of graduated sizing.
Are you familiar with grads?
Yeah, so is that basically saying like,
oh, they're going from small to large?
Yes, so it's like three different,
each egg is a different size.
Right, okay. One bigger than the other.
Yeah, here we go.
Pros, very pretty and was glad that you can't see
the battery light strand wires through the mercury glass.
Cons, and it's a big one,
I really resent items that come in graduated sizing.
I thought these would look very pretty on my mantle candle stands.
However, using two different size eggs on each side of my mantle
is not pleasing to the eye.
Valerie, please consider that some of us would like to display these
on places like the mantle and would be so much better
if we could purchase only the sizes that we need.
Graduated sizing is pretty for places like a tabletop,
et cetera, but not so pretty if placed on a fireplace mantle
when you want to put these on each side.
I would-
Incorrect.
Big one on the left, listen, I'll help.
Big one on the left, two mediums stacked almost like
sort of off kilter a little bit on the other side.
You're set.
That's what I do.
That's what you do with your eggs.
But with my candles, candlesticks
that are different sizes.
Yeah.
Two mediums, a big one.
Wow.
You solved their problem.
Good.
Yeah.
Who needs Valerie?
We do for content.
Graduated sizing is pretty for places like a tabletop, et
cetera, but not so pretty if placed on a fireplace mantle
when you want to put these on each side.
I would have to buy two sets to get two of the sizes
that I actually need.
And at this price, that's not feasible.
Graduated sizing sets limits on where these can be utilized.
End of review.
And my thinking is $81 for a set of three.
So I don't disagree with that.
No.
The pricing is a little crazy, but come on.
Like what?
There are other products for you then.
I don't understand.
Well, I was gonna say, can't you just kind of look
at the picture and realize they're different sizes?
Well, just the video, everything.
I mean, the whole point is they zoom in really close
on the TV so you can see it.
It is, it is, there's, they even label small, medium and large eggs and their sizes on the website.
I, I don't understand, like, I'm sure Valerie sells plenty of things that are not graduated.
Like what? What?
If she had complained about mercury glass, I would have said, you're screwed.
But since it's not about that, because it's not about glass, I would've said, you're screwed.
But since it's not about that, because it's not about that, I would say, I'm
sure Valerie has other options probably.
Um, yeah, it just seemed strange, but it was funny.
People have very, very, very, very hyper-specific desires for their
QVC products sometimes.
Exactly.
And Valerie can't, can't consider all of that.
It's impossible. Um, yeah, Valerie can't can't consider all of that. It's impossible
Yeah, so that stinks
Okay, and I love how like they're like this reviewers like teaching Valerie like how to decorate with them
Oh, that was so funny condescending like well, you know, this isn't pretty if I put on the mantle
By the way, you're wrong as I wrong, as I already have shown you,
as the president of the Val Pal fan club.
I can tell you right now, you can make that work,
but whatever, you do.
The video was playing while I was reading that,
I did not see her put it on a mantle
and be like, this is the best place for it.
Like they were just sitting on a table.
You're just doing it wrong.
Maybe.
Not you.
Yeah, maybe that's all it is.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah,'s all it is. Yeah.
So my next one, my last one,
this is of the 10 and a half inch illuminated
spring cottage with butterfly by Valerie.
It looks like a gingerbread house, but it's a spring.
I should also add everything's illuminated.
That's true.
Like Valerie's products are often illuminated
is part of the description.
And I will say it's kind of cute.
The like windows of this, it's not actual gingerbread,
but it's designed to look like gingerbread
with icing and like.
Oh, I'm familiar.
But the lights, the windows, when you turn it on,
the lights glow.
I find that adorable.
It looks cute, it's fine.
And it has butterflies, whatever.
It is $58.
So it's another pricey thing.
Here's a two star review.
My last one titled beautiful, but what happened?
Here we go.
I ordered all five of the cottages
and then another for a gift.
What could have been absolutely stunning
became a nightmare. I received the been absolutely stunning became a nightmare.
I received the butterfly first along with the lamb.
Oh, I just realized I think they're different designs.
I based on-
It's like a hello.
Yeah, now that I'm reading them,
I'm like, maybe I should have explained
that there are different options for this.
I do this to you every time I read from QVC
and I'm like, and then the reindeer,
and you're like, what reindeer?
It's confusing.
So the link that I have is the with butterfly one.
And then I see in the recommended, you may also like there's with lamb.
And I don't see the others.
There's an Easter camper, like a little camper trailer design with bunny.
So maybe the other one, there's a bunny.
Yeah.
I see with lamb a lot.
Hmm.
Anyway, they're different designs.
Here we go.
I received the butterfly first, along with the lamb.
They both had an odor, but that of plastic.
However, the lamb one was torn on the side and had a broken lamb
sent back for replacement.
In the meantime, I'm an idiot.
I forgot that this reviewer goes through the different ones.
So we're all going to learn together.
I'm sorry.
The thing I remember
from this review, you'll see why I like thought of nothing else. It gets fucking crazy to me.
In the meantime, the chick came. The odor was sickening. My head started pounding,
eyes watered, and throat started bothering me, and it was only out of the box 10 minutes. Back it went for a replacement.
Replacement wasn't nearly as bad. Garden and bunny ones are fine, but some of the cottages
are missing some windows, but not all, and the batteries are extremely hard to put in.
As of today, I'm on my sixth replacement, I believe for the lamb. QVC has been made aware
of the odor. One came to me with the white bottom very
sticky and another of the white paint was stuck to the plastic bag. Now as of today
I needed to decide if I keep the lamb cottage with a crooked roof trimming and straight
front window or a straight roof with a crooked front window and sticky white bottom. It's
a shame because they are beautiful but quality, especially the odor and stickiness,
I'm guessing paint, has ruined a beautiful scene for those of us that collect gingerbread houses.
Before this headache, I was going to request a duck cottage and lamp post to match from Valerie,
but feel the above needs to be addressed. The quality in QVC needs to be addressed badly.
Beautiful idea, Valerie, but six replacements is a bit much.
Not putting blame on you at all, but please address.
End of review.
The fucking, within 10 minutes, you were gonna
like fucking pass out.
What the hell happened here?
This is like nuclear warfare on Valorys.
Valerie's after this burst.
Mima 17.
Mima 17?
Mima 17, look out.
That's what I gotta say. This is getting personal. I feel like everyone that comes back after this person, Mima 17. Mima 17, okay. Look out.
That's what I gotta say, this is getting personal.
I feel like everyone that comes back
is more sinister than the last.
I know.
It's like, the first one was just a broken lamb,
which seems symbolic that you sent that back
so that it's not good enough.
Then got another one and suddenly you're home.
It feels like the plagues.
Yeah, oh, it is the plagues.
Yeah, it's like first a broken lamb,
then a sticky floor, and then, you know,
all the really bad things that happen in Exodus, was it?
You know, the one.
So yeah, wow, that's powerful stuff.
Mima, I hope you're okay out there.
It sounds like you may have some sensitivities,
maybe like some, I would just say maybe sensitive.
It sounds like maybe not an allergic reaction,
but maybe a sensitivity. Something happened. I'm kind of scared for you Mima, but fumes seemed I also like it does say
Little checkmark verified purchaser and I'm like you didn't have to tell us this person has six replacements
It's just a six time. Yeah, there should be six bad
You know like a six return you've made six return. Yeah
You know, like a six return. You've made six returns.
Each return, yeah.
Oh my God.
I look at her, she's like,
six returns is a little much.
And I'm like, yeah, girl, it is.
Yeah, it's like, I'm not blaming you,
but can we address this?
I meant like on you.
Like it's a little much on you.
I would say, I don't know why you're telling Valerie.
I think we all know it's a little much.
I'm trying to find his duck cottage, Valerie Parr Hill.
Cause I would like the duck cottage.
It does sound good.
Yeah, see, and I'm not gonna lie, this stuff looks cute.
Like I don't want it.
It's not for me, but I get it.
Well, you're, yeah.
I mean, you're not a new bride.
True.
I mean, no, I am.
That's why I don't like it.
Oh, it's not modern enough.
That's the problem.
My, as a new bride.
You want a KitchenAid, not a Duck Cottage.
Exactly.
Or I want something that's less timeless and classic and more hip and youthful. Right, like a KitchenAid, not a Duck Cottage. Exactly, or I want something that's less timeless and classic and more hip and youthful.
Right, like a KitchenAid.
Wow, I wish I could find the Duck Cottage,
but it seems to be lost to me, but.
Yeah, I can't find it either.
Oh, one day. Too bad.
One day.
Oh, no, you know what?
No, they might've been saying,
I was going to request Valerie create one.
That might've been what they were saying.
Oh, come on!
So do you even, they even just sent me, so, okay. all I love that you think you can just like be the design team for Valerie.
Well no! Well they, they, they, I'm just, I'm now bitter because I thought a duck would be.
That was good to say, this seems personal now.
I'm just pissed off now I'll be honest.
Okay so if this person gets more stinky things in the mail, they're from you. I got it, got it.
Yes, I'm gonna mail them all sorts of fumes.
All sorts of sticky, smelly stuff.
Memaw17, I've got you in my sights.
So sad, okay, run Memaw, please.
You don't wanna mess with her.
I'll give you a head start, go ahead.
No.
I'll catch up.
I'm scaring myself. Yeah, you're kinda freaked out. I'm actually sc myself. I'm actually, I'm like actually scaring myself a little bit.
I apologize. Oh gosh. Okay. Yeah. This isn't like me. Well, it is. Okay. Let's you just,
you're, it's all coming to light now. Alrighty. Thanks for hanging out everybody. This was fun.
Yeah. I mean, it's no museum of Chaos or whatever, but it was a good time.
I hope we brought you some...
Joy.
Vocabulary lessons and joy, because you can't separate the two.
And thank you for listening and come see us on tour, beach2sandy.com.
See you there.
Bye, everyone.
Beach 2 Sandy Water Touette is a ForeverDog production hosted and produced by Zandy and
Christine Schieffer.
It's edited by Marco Padilla. Cover art by Courtney Aventura. Theme music by Mavis White.
Executive produced by Mariah Nicholas. Forever Dog Productions is Joe Silio, Alex Ramsey, and Brett Boehm.