Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 283: Reviews of Small-Town Festivals

Episode Date: May 1, 2024

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Welcome to Beach Too Sandy Water Too Wet. A podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me I wanted to like this podcast but I'd give it zero stars if I could. Hello and welcome to Episode 283 of Beachy Sandy Water 2 at the podcast where we read the worst reviews in the most dramatic fashion. My name is X-Teen. My name is Zandi. Hello, hello. Today we're covering small town fairs or small town festivals, whichever you prefer. It's going to be ridiculous. It is ridiculous. And I'm very sad because there were like dozens of them that I found that if we had a whole series on just these small town fairs, I could have filled like, I don't know, dozens of episodes. But unfortunately I had to pick and choose.

So, but what's your, wait, what's my challenge? I was going to say, uh-uh, this is not my challenge. I did not prepare for that. My challenge was from Brad and it was to find reviews where the reviewer mentions getting locked or trapped in a business. Which I was surprised we hadn't done or I think we still think we haven't done. We still think we hadn't done it. I maintain that we did, I know we did, you get left behind some reviews mentioning leaving someone, getting left behind. Yeah I believe you did that. Was that you? Yeah. Okay this is just semantically slightly different, but, um, still works. Great.

You want to go, go get, get us started with a festival review? I do. This is from Shawna and it is a review of Plant City Strawberry Festival in Plant City, Florida. Plant City booth, plant, plant city. You're going to do that. This is a terrible review on TripAdvisor. And I mean, it city booth. You're gonna do that? This is a terrible review, entrepreneur advisor, and I mean it's marked as the rating is terrible. I'll leave it up to

everyone else's discretion. Whether the review is terrible, one star by Carissa. Went to the children's side of the strawberry festival the whole time, never seen a ride being sanitized. Started sprinkling rain. Needless to say, I went home with pink eye. I will not go back. It is not worth the money when they can't even keep a can of Lysol by the rides and spray at least every other hour or somehow try to keep the place sanitary.

End of review. There is something so incredible about the way some people use the phrase needless to say. When you say needless to say, I did not expect you to say, I got pink eye. Like, I don't know. I would say a good test is to maybe say needless to say to your audience and then like let them finish the sentence because if they know already, then it is needless to say to your audience and then like let them finish the sentence because if they know already, then it is needless to say. If they stare at you blankly, then probably it's like a need to know, need to know basis.

Need to say basis. Yeah. As someone who has had pink eye, I feel terrible for this person. I'm so sorry about that. It is not fun. I know you don't like to discuss it. But I was a child. It was many years ago, but I don't.

There's a stigma. I don't know. When I think of pink eye, I think fecal matter and eyes. I don't know if that's like just a stigma or like, I mean, it's probably based on something, but I don't know. Oh, it's based. I have a toddler. It's based on real. Okay. Okay. So fecal matter in the eye. Yep. That's weird. I got one. I was like 15. Oh, God, Alexander.

No, um, no, but yeah, so I don't know. I did not expect you to be able to get pink eye from a children's. From the strawberry fair? From the yeah, that it kind of scares me. Was it one of those dragon roller coasters? Oh, no way. There's no way that can spread pink eye. There's no way. The way you put your eye on that ride though, all the time? I refuse to believe. No, but I did bring a big can of Lysol and just spray everybody down afterward.

What I will say, I don't think spraying everything with Lysol, I know it says 99.9% of germs. I just don't think that's really a solution to, I mean, maybe it does, but I don't think it's a solution to the problem of the think spraying everything with Lysol, I know it says 99.9% of germs, I just don't think that's really a solution to... I mean, maybe it is, but... I'm gonna be honest, I don't know enough about germs or pink eye to say, or Lysol. I mean, why don't you just use hand sanitizer and not touch your eyeballs, but whatever. Yeah, that's a good point. I feel like pink-eyed. Yeah, wouldn't it need to be... It's not unavoidable, right? Like, it's not traveling by air. You have to, you know... Are you sure?

I'm pretty confident, yeah. Okay. How the hell did I get it? I mean, I don't know. I don't know. I don't want to think about it. Never mind. No one answered that question. Let's not do this like... Let's move on quickly. People are going to write fanfics about me getting no They're really not actually oh, they're not but no I'm seems like something they do though That was men as an insult by the way listeners um Here's a review sent in by Corinne she her

This is of the North Carolina pickle festival. Oh which I'm I'm there. I fucking love pickles. Me too. Here's a four star review. Okay, so it's positive overall, but not perfect. Alrighty, I enjoy pickles for sure. I was a little disappointed that there were not a lot of vendors that had pickle items.

I was able to try pickle lemonade, a pickle margarita cupcake, and a free pickle from Mount Olive Pickles. Other than that, there was one place that had fried pickles and the line was extremely long. I enjoyed a funnel cake and a deep-fried cheesecake. I was also able to experience the reptiles. It has nothing to do with pickles. Experience them? What do you mean? I don't know. Oh no. There was like a it was like a living museum, you know. Oh no.

I was also able to experience the reptiles has nothing to do with pickles. They were out there, though. OK, yeah, now that you said that and then it says they were out there though, makes it seem like they just kind of were out and about. First of all, I would say they do because they're green. Okay, there's immediately a correlation in my mind. Oh, of having something to do with pickles. Yeah, but that's about as far as it goes.

Not all reptiles are green, I will say. Oxenby, that's really brave of you to say not all reptiles and I think it's time we take a stance. But you're right. It sounds like lizard people are just wandering around. I don't think that's what that meant. In my mind, I'm thinking maybe a stray iguana. Oh, I see.

No, hopefully not iguanas. That's freaked me out. Anyway, okay. They can be experienced, so it is entirely possible that's what happened. And you know what? There's even another sentence about these reptiles that gives a little more. Which was pretty cool to see them up close and personal. Uh oh. I intended to be pickled out. Pickle cotton candy, candied pickles, pickle slushies, pickle

content, pickle drinks, pickle themed car, pickle flavored funnel cake, pickle, pickle, pickle. The rows of vintage and custom cars was great to look at. Maybe next year there will be a lot more pickle content. End of review. Oh my lord. And you know, I was- If they take your constructive notes, then maybe there will be.

Yes. Dear reviewer. Funny you say that because there is an owner response. Oh, okay. They're going to be like, you missed the, what was one of the pickle funnel cake? Wait, my favorite one. You didn't get to ride in the pickle themed car? The pickle theme car.

Yeah, that one was good. Here's a response from owner. Thanks for your feedback. We worked to improve on this from last year and did so. We know we have more work to do for 2024. Come back to see us next year and see how we do." And more response. More reptiles than ever.

Yep. Just bring in more gage. It's funny that they were acknowledged like, hey, this is actually better. More pickles than last year. Yeah, like you should have seen it before. Because the response was at the same time. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh man. And so they were like, hopefully next year. And that was 11 months ago, which makes me think that the pickle festival is like in a month or something. Any day now. Where is this pickle festival in North Carolina? I was going to say North Carolina. It's all I know. North Carolina pickle factory. I look at it or pickle. Pickle factory?

Pickle festival. Oh no, this place. It is in Mount Olive, North Carolina. Wait a second. Oh, well that makes sense. Is that where that company, what? Yes. Well, I assumed. What, you knew it was a place? No, but I assumed like there was a big pickle company in that area.

I didn't. There are festivals all, is there a big strawberry company in that city in California? Probably, it's in Florida. Oh, it was Florida? I thought you said California. And it's called Plant City, Oh, it was Florida? I think it's in California. And it's called Plant City, Florida. So like, yeah, it probably is, Andy. That's usually how these things begin.

Christina, it is in five days from now. And by that, I mean, for listeners, it was, I'm so sorry to say this because we're releasing this next week. You're missing it. This was one, two, three, four days ago. I like to think whoever's in the vicinity already knows about it and is going just on their own accord. Does it say on the website, like for example, what they're doing this year?

You want to hear their events? Yes, absolutely. Cuke Patch 5K. Whoa, that's a big upgrade. Well, I don't know what hasn't been around last year, but yeah, pickle eating contest, recipe contest, tour de pickle. OK, and these are links. So I'm going to click on tour de pickle. It's literally a race like a bicycle race.

Yeah. Oh, it's a 5K and a bicycle race and a reptile. This is like a sitcom in the making. Something is going to go wrong. The Iwana is going to get loose. For sure. There's a live music, live music, dancer, stage car show, a pickleball tournament, which is hilarious. That's trendy. That's on trend.

That's pretty funny. Beer and wine garden, special guests, and pickle princess pageant with a $1,000 grand prize. Who's the pickle princess? Wait, that was on 420. That already happened. Wait, who's the pickle princess?

I don't know. I don't know. It doesn't say. She should have national, international recognition. I agree. Okay. Anyway, anyway, anyway, I would like to acknowledge, sorry, this person also included like 23 pictures of this festival. Looks fantastic. Looks so much fun. A lot of cool cars and things in the final cake. The reptiles are indeed in captivity. Okay. I mean, it's good and bad. Right. Like it's not good, but like also if they're at the

Pickle Festival, it's probably best that they're ones that were probably best. They're contained around run 5 K's and bicycles. It gets messy. Yes. Wow, Alexander. That is, I feel like I've learned so much in the last 10 minutes and 46 seconds that we've been, I feel like I'm a changed woman.

I think even I did, even though I started this. Yeah. I'm looking at Plant City, Florida real quick. You're trying to prove a point. Yeah. Well, I'm just curious. Yeah. Well, here's the wild card, Oxenar. I'm wrong. I know you didn't expect that. Well, I don't know if I'm wrong about the strawberries, but I'm wrong about the name of it.

The name of what would mean? What does that mean? It's called Plant City. Let me tell you why. Despite many thinking, this is from Wiki, despite many thinking it was named for Flora grown at plant nurseries, especially vegetables and fruits as, how do you know that? It always is. It was named after, you would never guess, a prominent white man who dug railroads.

Robert Plant. What? Robert. Henry, but close. Same difference. Plant City is known as the winter strawberry capital of the world. Oh, the...

By whom? By whom? There is a footnote, let's see, by the Florida Strawberry Growers Association. So, and fun fact, when you click on that, it takes you to a 404 error. So I feel that this source cannot be trusted. Um, this feels like a prank.

Uh, okay. So I have another one of the strawberry festival. Um, unlike the pickle festival, we've learned zero about the strawberry festival, except that it's not, it doesn't smell like Lysol. Um, this is a one-star review by Greg and it's called, it's from TripAdvisor, it's called Save Your Money and Time, Don't Go. It is first and foremost a carnival with lots of rides and extremely overpriced food and drink, overpriced even for a carnival. Eight dollars for a lemonade, eighteen

dollars for a turkey leg, those prices are as high as the Orlando theme parks, and they don't have their overhead. I've heard, what if they did have Disney overhead? They're like, that's how much the strawberry festival puts us in the red every year. They have the overhead of a Disney park. Like billions of dollars or something. I don't know what it actually is for Disney

parks, but I imagine it's quite a large number. The strawberry princess has to go through so much rigorous training to make sure she doesn't like stray out of character one single bit. I've heard many people say they had a great time there, but now that I think about those conversations, they were all many years ago, maybe back then it was much better or maybe your friends are stupid. Oh, they still have taste. Yeah.

I was hoping he'd be like, now that I think about those conversations, those people had terrible taste in festivals. Now that I think about those conversations, they were all many years ago. Maybe back then it was much better. Maybe everyone is getting greedy and are testing to see how much their captive audience will pay. There were a lot of vendors pushing lots and pans. Oh, I think they mean pots and pans.

That makes sense. I know that was a reach on my part, but let's go with pots and pans. There were a lot of vendors pushing pots and pans. Quite a few selling cracked windshield repair. A few pushing Medicare. This is about as far away from being a fair as you can get. Don't waste your money and time. End of review. I'm sorry. What is this off again? The strawberry. How could you forget? I know. I'm like, that is kind of crazy. Plant City Strawberry Festival. It doesn't

have great reviews, I'll be honest with you, like in general. Sounds like the Home and Garden show in Cincinnati. That's like just people selling things. I mean, that's the point, though. You go there knowing they're going to be vendors. You get business cards. Yeah. You come home with brochures and business cards. And then all of a sudden, people are calling you and emailing you because you've signed up for things that you don't remember signing up for.

Yeah. Including like insurance like that. Like, but why would the Strawberry Festival? I don't know. AT&T. And you're like, wait, why are you even part of this? You're not in my home or garden. Well, I guess you are. Well, that's exactly like it makes sense there, but at the strawberry festival? What? Yeah, maybe this makes less sense. I, I don't know.

Henry Plant is rolling in his grave. Henry. Okay. My next one is also from Corinne, and this is of the Carolina Strawberry Festival. So. Shut up. Farther north, we're trying somewhere new. And this is located, I want to give you a city, but it doesn't look like there are any cities around here. It looks like Wallace, North Carolina. OK. Yeah. Wallace.

One star. Due to unfortunate circumstances out of my control, I didn't attend. A steak on a grill would have been nice, but a replacement was able was summons. Details pending, end of review. Ha! For some unknowable reason, I was so afraid.

Why was that so weird? Right? I agree. I'm scared to my core and I don't even know why. I agree. There was something, it felt, I don't know, not like this person's being sinister, but something sinister, there's a cloud hanging over this review and I'm being very dramatic, but it feels dramatic.

Something's a foot. A foot is involved. A foot. Yeah, you're right. Let me hear that starting point. I didn't do to circumstance. Alexander, this is a wild thing. Exactly. Like I don't know. Can we get one more read on that? Yeah, it feels not intended for this audience, like a Google review, but I'm going to read it again. Here we go.

One star. Due to unfortunate circumstances out of my control, I didn't attend. A steak on the grill would have been nice, but a replacement was able was summons. Details pending. That's end of, and that's an exclamation point at the end. Okay. See, it's the punctuation that makes me nervous because if you're just accidentally hitting the predict text, it won't put any punctuation. So I'm alarmed that it's...

Text voice to speech? Yeah. Voice to text or they were reading a grocery list and forgot they were leaving a review. Yeah. Mixed together. Okay. A steak on a grill. Maybe they were saying a strawberry something and that like would have been not like a strawberry steak though.

A steak on a grill. Steak on a grill. Doesn't sound like strawberry. Strawberry. But maybe when you're voice to text, it just like a strawberry doesn't sound like strawberry. Strawberry. But maybe when your voice detects, it just like... Well, a strawberry chill would have been nice. Yeah, something like that. Or maybe they do a steak on a grill thing there,

because it seems like none of these festivals really stay on theme at all. That's a very good point. So it could be like a windshield repair and steak cookout. Yeah, the first... OK, literally the first... So the first image is an empty street of the, when you on the Google results. The second one is a large, huge stand where the, I don't even know how to describe this. It's like a stand and like above is advertising all of the products that the stand sells. And the above advertisements, like the flags or whatever, I don't know how to,

it's like whatever printed things. Banners. The banners are like make up a bigger area than the stand itself. So it's like this giant roof looking thing. And it says corn dogs, funnel cakes, turkey legs, lemonade, sweet tea, euros, Italian and Polish sausage, uh,, onions, steak and cheese. And then some things I can't read because it's kind of blurry.

And so I don't see a single thing, strawberry thing, and then there's like a dinosaur, a fake dinosaur head coming out of a box that says extreme danger, like very large in another photo. Then there's an old timey- That's their own reptile experience. Oh, then I'll have to have one. You're right, actually.

Then there's like an old timey fire truck. That's kind of cool actually. You can go inside of it. That's really fun. Then there's a steak. There's literally a steak is like the fifth picture. So that must be just a weird tradition or something. Yeah, maybe.

And then there are a bunch of children dressed with strawberry outfits. That's cute. Some are like really phoning it in. Like, come on, just because there's one strawberry on your dress does not make it like. Okay. But to be fair, the festival is not setting a high bar. And I feel like why should the children do all the hard work, you know? That's true.

There are a lot of dinosaur things. I guess that's the thing for the kids are these giant inflatable dinosaurs. I feel like why should the children do all the hard work? You know? That's true. There are a lot of dinosaur things. I guess that's the thing for the kids are these giant inflatable dinosaurs. I have not seen- So it's steak for the grownups and dinos for the kids at the strawberry festival. They have deep fried Oreos.

Christina, I have not seen a single strawberry thing other than like those little children. It looks like a strawberry drink in a plastic bag. Oh. I, Christina, this is great. Where, where the hell is the strawberries? I'm done. Details pending. I'm not looking at it anymore. I'm, oh, sorry. I just, I just scrolled one more time and there's

one, one booth with a bunch of strawberries. Like just baskets of strawberries. So finally. You can get strawberries confirmed at the Carolina Strawberry Festival. I'm ready to move on now. Because there's only five containers. I was going to say, yeah, there's only one stand. Like you could probably get a steak on a grill much more easily. It sounds like, um, wow.

I feel like I'm just having such a bizarre, worldly, like world expanding experience. Like I'm like learning about all these different places, these lands, these far away lands that I'll never see. You know what's crazy? And you'll find out soon enough. I have, these were not the ones I was planning on deep diving into. I actually have deep dives coming.

So I apologize in advance, but like we're learning a lot. I haven't even started teaching this way, that's what a good teacher does. They teach you when you're not, they're not even teaching. That's actually kind of incredible, Sandy. I'm like really impressed. If you need a career change, I understand. It comes naturally. Yeah, it does.

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Homechef.com slash beach to sandy. Must be an active subscriber to receive free dessert. Okay, so I have a deep dive as well. This is from Julio, of course. Oh, Jesus. I was like, that sounds bad enough already. And then you're like, this is from Julio. I'm like, okay, let's get to bonging.

Let's do it. Okay. He literally wrote, I think he wrote, well, you'll see. I love it. I'm excited. This is the testicle festival. Wait, that's one of my deep dives.

That's hilarious. No, it's not. Well, cause he lives in Montana, right? Yeah, okay. That, you know what? That does make sense. It's dear to his heart, not really, because he said, unfortunately, in quotation marks,

that he never had a chance to go, because it ended before he was- Oh, I was gonna say, it is very fortunate he did not, based on what I've read, because Sean sent me an article, and then I found a review based on it. Okay, okay, okay, interesting. I hope you don't say one. So I'll let you go ahead, and then I'll, as a teacher,

I'll see what you've learned as the student and then I'll step in as a teacher to make some changes. You can correct me, you can course correct. So from Julia, it says, Missoula used to have a festival called Testicle Festival, which was shut down after 35 years and I unfortunately never had a chance to go. And he says there are a couple of reviews on TripAdvisor

that pretty much explain what it was. So here is one review of the Testicle Festival. It's not quite a review so much as like a, of course, it's sort of a forum thread on TripAdvisor because that's Julio's bread and butter, so to speak. But this is by a user called Fit Canadian Traveler. And the title of it is Testicle Festival at Rock Creek Lodge, and it was written 13 years ago.

The annual Testicle Festival is a five-day long wild party just east of Missoula held the first weekend in August. The 2010 TestiFest was a success with many thousands of participants. Testyfest features contests, wet tea, ball eating, that's very confusing. It sounds like tea ball, wet tea, okay. Wet tea, ball eating, mud wrestling, and more.

Live bands, dancing, as well as a cafe, which serves Rocky Mountain oysters, deep fried bull testicles. Check out the new website at testyfesty.com. Okay, so that's like the promo. I am not ashamed to say that this is one of my circles of hell. Indeed, Alexander, I'm so happy you said that because this is the reply. There only three replies this is the first one

okay given op's purported location have to assume not a promoting post but really close there actually the festical spelling intended is what it says in the parentheses spelling intended is a huge draw in a local institution, but there are a couple pointers. A. Not for kids, period. Suspect they are not allowed anywhere near anyway. B. If offended by rowdy people, rough language, or various levels of nudity, it won't be your cup of tea, including parts of their website. I haven't yet convinced my wife to go, frown face. I do, however, wear my mail order I had a ball t-shirt when appropriate. Maybe 2011, since it falls just before my birthday,

I can finally convince her. Rocky Mountain oysters are really hard to find, especially prepared right, and seldom make it much outside of Montana, Wyoming, Colorado. I look for them wherever I can. Well, we're summoning up the courage to try if you've not had them before. A regional delicacy." We stopped at this exit looking for a bathroom on the day after the festival this summer. No partiers remained, but it was obvious a wild time had been had by all. As evidenced by some of the signage we saw, definitely do not bring your kids. No ladies of gentle temperament either." And then the third is just this post has closed because of inactivity. And then there's more that he wrote that Julia wrote, but I would like you to step in now to kind of

Expand. Yeah. Oh, well, okay. I so I have a review and I have an article. Would you like me to do the review? Let's do the review. Yeah, so this is a review I found so Sean had sent me that article and I was like I need more so I went to find a review and I found this review of rock creek lodge, which is the uh, Uh, former venue because it no longer exists, of this festival. Here we go. Five stars. Luckiest day of my life. Driving through Montana, low on gas.

Hey, let's pull over here. We get gas and someone sees an old piece of junk with a sign for home of testy fest or something like that. So we drive a second away to this little diner gift shop bar shack. Very country, very woodsman vibe. Lots of local looking folk just sitting around. What else are you going to do in West Montana? So I'm excited to eat balls and we go in the diner part.

Only one other guy was willing to try them. So I order a small basket of them come out quick enough and are served sliced, battered and fried with a side of cocktail sauce. We go outside and sit on the stage where they have the festival and put our lips around some deep fried balls. And they're pretty good. Mostly taste like fried, but have a meaty taste that was pleasant. The cocktail sauce was a good match too. End of review. Except they included a link to testyfesty.com, which no longer exists. And here though, I'm going to be a bummer. Are you ready for like an actual, like this is, there was some tragedy involved.

I know this article. So, okay. Oh, you do. Okay. I do. Yeah. Well, the article Sean brought up or sent to me was it's titled testicle festival canceled following deaths and attendance decline. And apparently this festival, which had been going on for 35 years has a history of vehicle incidents, vehicle collisions and deaths. Vehicular. Yeah. Yeah. Terrible stuff because people driving under the influence after. Yeah.

And even, yeah. Oh, I was just going to say, I can't get over the headline that says due to deaths and lowered attendance. It's like not the death to stop the festival. Yeah. It's like, oh, well, yeah, well, because it's been going on for years. That's the thing is what this festival ended in 2018. And it was talking about how like recently two people had been killed in the previous one, so I guess the 2017 one were seven people were injured and two were killed when a man who had been kicked out of the event and was in one of the shuttles back to Missoula, grabbed the wheel

and caused the Jeep to roll killing two people. I didn't know that part. Oh yeah. It's fucking tragic. It's like really terrible. And not only that, like before then there was like examples, there was somebody who, um, in 2012, someone drove a truck the wrong way on the highway for many miles and was drunk and killed a child

in a collision and he was coming from the festival. Oh no. So it was like in 2005, also a man was stabbed in 2007. That's the one I got, stabbings at the, that's what I was reading. Yeah, well, this next one is wild, that's what the night was reading. Yeah, well, this next one is wild. In 2007, a woman was arrested for stabbing a man and a woman after an argument that ensued when she flashed her bare breasts at a second man.

Um, and then that same year, 13 DUI arrests over the weekend were considered related to the testicle festival. So like. That's that bullshit then when people say like, oh, you can't handle it. Like people were so, well, they, people were so upset that it was canceled. Oh, it's ridiculous. Even before it was canceled, people were so upset, not upset, but they were so rude about like, it's not for the faint of heart. Don't bring your lady unless she wants, you know, like it's just very like crude and just kind of insulting and nasty. And I was like, yeah, this does not sound like a fun experience for anybody who's even slightly

uncomfortable. Yeah, I don't know. Nope. Nope. Yeah. So the testicle festival, this testicle festival is no more. There are other ones that hopefully have, but like this, that's the thing is like, I don't know, the founder was like, oh, like all this in mind, I decided to do it. And I'm like, this has been an ongoing issue for many years at this festival. Now you're like, okay, now that these two more people died, let's change something. And that's the other thing, it's like, it sounds like it was more about attendance decline than, you know, exactly. So I'm weirdly glad they included that in the title only because it's like, yeah, like they should have probably ended it for deaths years ago.

But yeah, it seems like they needed something else driving accidents weren't a good anyway. So start fucking wild rabbit hole. That is that is one of two. My my second one, I promise, is a lot less tragic. OK, great. I'm glad we got that out of the way. Yes, because I have a review of the pumpkin festival. OK. And wait, wait, wait. I want to guess where the pumpkin festival.

Oh, OK, great. This is just so we I don't forget was sent in by Christine. She her hers. I want to say it's going gonna be somewhere like super random like somewhere you wouldn't expect a pumpkin festival like in Phoenix, Arizona, but That's the home of the winter pumpkin and everybody knows that oh god, I feel like this is in Pennsylvania I I feel like most There's so many small town festivals in Pennsylvania, so I'm going to go with that.

That's a good guess. Let me see. I know the name of the town. I just want to make sure that, okay, Sycamore, Illinois. Okay. That was, okay. Interesting. So I saw Sycamore and was like, that could be any number of cities.

That does not help at all. Also, like, can I please just send you the logo? Because I'm loving what you're doing here. Oh, absolutely. I would love that. Actually, I'll just, maybe, can I just show it to you the logo? Cause I'm loving what you're doing here. I would love that. Actually, I'll just, can I just show it to you on here? Yeah. I know this is like very low standard stuff I'm doing,

but since we're on video now, here it is. It looks like one of those pumpkin cookies, like the design. Yes, it does. But it looks like clip art kind of. Like a Pillsbury, I love it. Is that a Sycamore leaf it's in front of? It is a Sycamore leaf. I love that. So creative and fun.

And so anyway, here we go. This is from Christine again, and it is a positive review. And this was written on Facebook and Pat, she recommends Sycamore Pumpkin Festival because as we know, Facebook doesn't do star ratings. It just does recommends or does not recommend. Uh, this is a positive review.

Coach Tim Carlson is going to be grand marshal. If you want to see pumpkins on courthouse lawn to avoid a huge crowd, go between 10 PM and 6 AM. I found out after fighting crows in the daytime for children. End of review. For children? The kids are likely to save us from these crows. It's giving like Moira Rose, like the crows have eyes. But I will say, I think she meant to write crowds, fighting crowds. It took me several reads. That makes so much more sense.

But it definitely says after fighting crows in the daytime, which- Pumpkin festival, fighting crows. It weirdly makes sense. Oh my God. The fighting crows. I love that band. They were one of my favorites in high school. But yeah, I love that like coach Tim Carlson gets to be Grand

Marshall, so we're all going to go and support. But the huge crowds, you better watch out because there's murders of crows all over the place. Uh oh. Yeah. That don't add any, a D to that one. That's the testicle festival. You're right.

Yeah. Let's just leave it. Okay. I'm going back to the Sean email because Sean also included a Facebook review of the Chaska River City Days in Chaska, Minnesota. Okay. And it just seems to be just a general, like festival celebrating the town.

Okay, I love that. With a lot of different, yeah, it looks kind of cute, you know, things like that, whatever. Here is a review. It's a not recommended. Carol does not recommend. Uh-oh. I would suggest not ripping up raffle winners

because you don't like them. I saw Jodie throw my name away. End of review. Jodie, you witch. Jodie, we're on to you. Here's what Chaska City River Days has to say. I immediately regret even saying anything. I'm taking it back.

I was like, whoa, whoa. Chaska River City Days says, Hi, Carol, we are sorry. You are mistaken. Not one raffle winner slip was ever ripped up, and most certainly you weren't excluded intentionally. Your name wasn't drawn, along with many others, and we're very sorry you're disappointed. Your continued accusations of unfairness and poor

treatment by our volunteers are again unfounded and we respectfully request you stop. We wish you the best and hope you can enjoy the event next year." End of response. Love Jody. I mean, not Jody. Someone else. Someone, whoever's standing up for Jodie. Carol wasn't done though. Oh, I forgot this is Facebook. Carol responded twice to this, here we go. Yeah, here we go. No, I was there when she tossed the slips

and I saw my name on one of the slips. She said it was a duplicate. I didn't say anything because I thought I would say something bad. Ask her, but she will lie. I know what I saw and I don't lie. That's one comment, okay. And the next comment.

And then she had more to say. Let's start off by tagging her friend, okay. Deanna was sitting there when she asked for another slip and Deanna handed her another slip. I saw my name. It's not about the prize. I really don't care. But to cheat isn't right. End of review.

Do we know what the prize was? Because I would love to know. No idea. But what's interesting, interesting is in the email that Sean sent, Sean said that it appeared that that Carol had won a raffle the two years prior, like in a row. So had won- Shut up. Like already won both those years and then the one year that she doesn't win

is fucking going on a rampage. This is getting shady as fuck. She's like, I was supposed to win. I won't tell you why or how or who is rigging this thing, but ever since Jodie started, I stopped winning. Yeah. So I don't know. I don't know what's happening, but I'm more on Jodie's side. I don't know. It just seems.

I'm here for this drama though. This is like precisely the small town bullshit that I love. That's what this episode's all about, these small town festivals. Yeah. I mean, I love it. Okay. So I have, oh, I only have Redemptions left, but don't worry. Nice. They're rough times.

Okay. What? No, not rough times. What does that mean? That's not what I mean. I mean, they're still, well, they're just still- I'll just let you read them. They're just still a hoot. We'll see. This is a Redemption of the Sycamore Pumpkin Festival. I just love the annual display of pumpkins.

I'm always amazed by the creativity of the kids with all the cute and unique ideas. I like that this festival has stayed the same every year and hasn't gotten over the top like the St. Charles Scarecrow Festival has. It's just a fun, enjoyable event that all ages can enjoy. End of review.

So then I was like, what the F? Throwing shade at the St. Charles Scarecrow Festival? And also like, tell me please how it's gotten over the top, because you know I need to know. Like, what are they doing that's so over the top is what I want to know. If a Scarecrow Festival is not over the top, what's the point? It doesn't sound interesting to me. Then it's just a scarecrow in a field. Like, anyone can do that.

Come on. I mean, I guess what they mean, I think what they mean is like people take the scarecrow thing and like make them really like, okay, I think what I'm the vibe that I'm getting from this review is the kids just do cute, fun, clever pumpkins, but then the scarecrow ones get like way over the top, like, you know, really wild displays. Like I've seen some, I think we were in Halifax, Blaze and I, somewhere in October and, um, up in Canada and they had this like small town, uh, scarecrow tradition where like one of the nearby towns puts all these

scarecrow, anyway, but they were like wild. Like some of them were like the size of houses and you know, things like that. So I wonder, yeah, I wonder if they just get a little, people get really excited, but like, so what? That's fun. That is fun. But size of houses, it's fucking fine. Like they were on their lawns. Yeah. Like those, like those giant skeletons from the depot.

But yeah, I, I would love to see some of these over the top Scarecrows. It looks very like their website is very professional. So I wonder if they've just gotten like really like big. And that is rare for a small town festival. Oh, yes. OK, like here, for example, the Scarecrow contest winner from 2023, first place was the American and Science Surplus is the winner of their Scarecrow display. There's a surplus of Americans and science? The American and science. Nope. Nope. The American science and surplus.

The and is so big I couldn't tell where it's supposed to go. Wait, what? So what's it actually supposed to be? American science and surplus. I accidentally read it as whatever I said. American and science surplus. Yeah. I don't know what that means the other way either.

Like it's, I don't know. I'm sending you a picture. It's these's these, it's the muppets, uh, doing surgery or doing a, on Kermit, on Kermit. I don't see what's so over the top about this. That's a scarecrow. See, that's, I think it's like, um, oh, what's it called? Oh, what's it called? What's it called? Autopsy? No, tableau. A tableau. It's like a tableau. Oh my God, it's literally how it's in her.

It's a fucking autopsy. Look at the, they like put the big seams in the chest. This is disturbing. Oh yeah, no, it's very disturbing. And over the top, there's like a little mispicky head. Is that what that is? Like formaldehyde or something? Yeah, what the fuck?

It's just fucking crazy. Why, this is not okay. This is this one in the mechanical and mega category. So that means it moves. My God. That's hilarious. This is insane. So they have like different levels.

They have schools get to play. Little Brothers, Friends of the Elderly won first place in one category. Okay. So, you know, it's like Daisy Scout, one second place. So I think it's pretty cute. I feel like, I mean, not the, the one example I have is terrifying. I'd really rather not participate in that section, in that category.

Imagine you lost and you're like, really? Really? My cool like science display lost. Oh my god. Anyway, so. Okay. So my final thing is a whole thing from Christine Senthis, okay, and this is of the Edwardsville Parogy Festival. And this is Edwardsville, Pennsylvania. Fucking love a parogy. So Christine just sent multiple reviews of different things. What if it was me?

I'm like, I just love parogies. I was wondering when you'd read this. You can, if you want, you can do that. Give me content. If you're like, oh, I want you to read this. That would be strange, but I would take it. I'll just do your notes for you. I'd get it and be like, no, this isn't good

enough for the show actually. I know. It would be embarrassing for me. So here is a review on Facebook of the Edwardsville pierogi festival. And first thing I noticed was pierogies and quotations. So at first I was like, does this have to do

with like maybe at this point I had seen all these other festivals that like strawberry festival that had very little strawberries. So maybe it's just that, I don't know, whatever. It's like honorary pierogi festival. I read it and I put it in my notes. Exactly. I read it, put in my notes and then like started to research after the fact and it got wild.

So let me just read the review first. Here's a negative review. I read it, put in my notes, and then like started to research after the fact and it got wild. So let me just read the review first. Here's a negative review. I'm saddened that you deleted my review. You guys are probably some sort of weirdos that dip their pierogies in honey mustard. Why don't you guys just have like a hot dog fest or maybe like a stinky sauerkraut fest, mushroom fest. I'm sure those things already exist, but that's never stopped you before.

End of review. Whoa, okay. So, you know, I was like, that's fucking weird. It's like kind of goofy. Yeah, it's aggressive. It's a little aggressive. I'll just read it. And then I went to the festival website

and found their theme song among other things. Hold on, we have to come back to that, but for a brief moment, you said I went to the festival website and I went, oh, for one brief moment, I thought, he did, he did. I wish. He went. No, I was sexing D about it. It's like two and a half hours outside of New York.

Like, so I would consider going. Day trip. But I think it's in June, I think. Anyway, so then there's this song called I would consider going. But I think it's in June, I think. Anyway, so then there's this song called Parogy Fest by John Stevens, Double Shot. And I listened to it on YouTube and very entertaining. I enjoyed it.

It's just like a polka kind of track, really fun. Their website had so much stuff and I was like just reading about it. I was like, oh, I can't wait to bring some of this, like talk about the Parogy Fest. And then I started to Google it again. And I noticed if you start typing Edwardsville Parogy Festival,

the Google fill-in says lawsuit. And I was like, uh-oh. Oh, is this like with the quotations? Well, maybe. So here is the article that I saw. This is from the Chicago Tribune. Remember this. Is this like when subway tuna wasn't made of tuna?

And they're like, technically this is not a pierogi. No, this is, this is a, I will say, I looked at their vendor. It is legitimately like they have a lot of pierogi vendor. Like it is a pierogi festival. So it's not about their inclusion of pierogies. Those are very much a thing. But, oh, it's now blocked by ads. Shoot. The Chicago Tribune article.

I haven't been on the Chicago Tribune in a couple of days. Maybe I can get it. No, I actually got found. Oh, no, I don't have it. OK, it's titled A Tale of Two Pierogies Festival Trademark Battle at Center of Federal Laws't have it. Okay. It's titled a tale of two pierogies festival trademark battle at center of federal lawsuit. Okay. Oh, so I'll try to summarize because I read it yesterday, but there's a

pierogi fest in Whiting, Indiana, which is like right by the border of Illinois. Um, and this festival in Whiting, Indiana, uh, sued this other festival that I've read in Edwardsville. Inter Small Town Drama. For using pierogi fest. Yes, exactly. Goodness gracious. And it was for using, um, the pierogi fest as a name. And they were basically like, look, this is our trademark.

They had, they'd have a trademark. They had a trademark and they were like, they're using our trademark. We need to like prove that we're like, it seemed very like, I don't know. Can I read the quote? Cause I picked it up on incognito mode. Please, please, please. Thank you. So this is the chairman of, this is, sorry, let me, let me get a clean take.

This is going to be ridiculous. Yeah. Stop drinking your coffee. Okay. Oh my gosh. I can't believe this. Whoever got to cover this, Becky, I hope you had a good time covering this because what a story. What a scoop. Tom Daberton, the chairman of Perogifest in Whiting said he just wants to protect Perogifest trademark.

Quote, if you don't protect your trademark when others use it, you lose it. We have to do this to protect our trademark. But attorneys representing the Edwardsville hometown committee, which runs their festival in Pennsylvania, argues it has not infringed. What's important is we're protecting the Edwardsville Parogy Festival and the,

okay, so it's just all very like semantics. Like we like, we wanna protect our festival and we wanna okay. So it's just all very like semantics. Like we like, we want to protect our festival and we want to protect our festival. Well, yeah. Well, well, okay. One, I feel like the Edwardsville festival, they're just protecting their festival. Whereas Parogi, the one in Indiana is like, they're protecting their trademark, not their festival. Okay.

Fair point. So because what they're saying is that the festival in Pennsylvania, part of their argument was that like, it can confuse people who would go to- That's what it says. And it's like, Likely to cause consumer confusion. I mean, okay. They're not close geographically.

Like if it were like the next town over, I'd probably understand it a little more. So it's in a totally different state, right? This is like Indiana and Pennsylvania. Pennsylvania, yeah. I mean, come on, okay. I did think they were closer. I wasn't really like thinking about where they were located. I thought this was at least like within a half hour

of each other. Yeah. Which I could understand. So that was, I think August of 2017, is that right? Yes, it was. So then there's an article in the Times Leader, which I assume is, yeah, there's weather for Wilkes-Barre. So it's a Pennsylvania paper. Settlement reached in Edwardsville Parogi Festival lawsuit, event set for this weekend. So literally like right before it started. They settled. Oh, what were the terms?

And it says a confidential settlement will allow Edwardsville Parogi Festival to go on as scheduled. I can't wait for 150 years from now when this gets released into the public domain and we can finally know what they actually set up for. Is that how that works? No, not even a little bit. It says the Edwardsville Hometown Committee, Inc. has saved the Parogy Festival forever. So they like saved it. It still happened. It was their fifth annual one back then. It's still happening, which is fun. But what I thought was interesting is that the law firm, Fellerman and CR and Bolley, Charm and Bolley.

Oh gosh, I don't know how to say that. Law PC handled the Edwardsville case pro bono. So they just wanted to get that. That's really good optics by the way. I love that. They're like, they probably in the deal were like, Oh, we're going to be a free sponsor for 10 years or something like that. We'll do a pro bono, but put our name up there somewhere. Anyway. Um, no.

So yeah. So that was that. Can we, can I talk to you about the opposing when they said, Oh, this would cause consumer confusion. Yeah. Yeah, please. The opposing, uh, attorneys, I believe said, there's no person on planet earth that is confused by this. Which is like a really delightful. It's such a good point though. Oh, and then the fucking people in with the trademark said,

we have allowed others to use a trademark, but they always got our permission first. It's like, okay, relax. So it's not about that then. Yeah, yeah, so I don't know. Kind of fucked up. Yeah. It just seemed not, whatever. But then I was- It's not in the spirit of pierogies. You know what I mean? Like, why are we trying to shut down other pierogi fests? Like,

let's just like spread the love. Yeah. Amen. Amen. But I'm not done because- Oh, okay. What does this bring us all back to? It brings us back to that original review. So that review now makes more sense because.

Oh wait, what was the KRE? Exactly. I know, I know. So at the end of this person's review, they say, oh, you could do a stinky sauerkraut fest or a mushroom fest. I'm sure those things already exist, but that's never stopped you before. So then it clicked. My God.

That this person was basically review, and this was written August, 2017. This person was basically review bombing this other festival. So I looked at their profile, Christina, and I went to their profile. They are from Burnham, Illinois. Oh my.

Seven miles from Whiting, Indiana. Seven miles from where the Paroge Festival in Whiting, Indiana takes place. Now this is a scoop. And I was like, this fucking review is, that was something else. So I finally got to the bottom of that review. You did, and what do we do?

Probably nothing, but still. How fucked up? Absolutely nothing, I'm not doing anything. It's from 2017, who cares? It's kind of Probably nothing, but still. Oh, absolutely nothing. I'm not doing anything. I, that's what I, it's from 2017. Who cares? It was kind of funny actually. They are the ones with egg on their face, so to speak, not to cause more consumer confusion, but they're the ones who are, should be embarrassed because

I said, Oh, a stinky sauerkraut fuzz. It's like, what do you think you eat pierogies with dumbass? Yeah, sure. Sauerkraut. Yeah, I love sauerkraut. I love pierogies with dumb ass. Yeah, sure. Sauerkraut. Yeah, I love Sauerkraut. I love pierogies. Me too. And so don't, don't shit on Sauerkraut.

Yeah, that's a good point. You want to insult another pierogi, whatever. Yeah. Oh, people have. That's, that's, that's, I love how that's the wrong, the thing you pick out, you know, yeah, defend the Sauerkraut. I'm with you though. I love Sauerkraut.

That's like such a, our mom thing to do. Like, like miss the whole point and be like, but they don't even get it because sauerkraut does come with progies and stuff. Okay. That's really not okay. Like you're missing the point. And I feel like that's what I'm doing. Um, and I stand by it.

Okay. So this is a redemption of the annual Peach Festival. Georgia. Nope. This is from Sarah and it's in this festival is in Gilbert, South Carolina. Close. Which I'm assuming is close by.

And they have an annual Peach Festival on the 4th of July. So these are redemptions. This is a positive review on Facebook by Joanna. This is a positive review on Facebook by Joanna. Looking forward to the 2018 Lexington Peach Festival and hearing the Black Bottom Biscuits play again. Thumbs up. End of review. So that sounds fun.

And they wrote thumbs up in war. Like they didn't, I think, understand that. It's not the same as the emoji. They have like, Coens. They wrote thumbs up. No, not think, understand that. Oh. It's not the same as the emoji. They have like, colons between them? They wrote thumbs up, no, not even a little bit. I feel like of all things, that would could be like, like, you know how you type out like two thumbs up or something, right?

Yeah, but I just feel like if you write, it's like when I write coffin by mistake, cause I'm trying to send an emoji of a coffin. Yeah. I just write coffin, coffin, and then it looks like bong and bong and like, like I've misplaced my colons or something. You misplaced your colon. Story of your life.

I, I mean, for real though. Okay. So this is from Aaron and this is my last one. It's a review of a local, you're all done, right? Yeah. Uh, this is a review of a local Apple festival. Um, uh, New Hampshire. Try one more time. right? Yeah. This is a review of a local Apple festival. New Hampshire.

Try one more time. Vermont. Pennsylvania. Maine. Okay. I was like, I thought the New Hampshire was like close. I was like, Ooh, okay. Let me do other one. Remember your own advice. No, sorry. God. My big raised eyes were not helpful. I realized. I thought you meant like a bordering state.

My bad. Yeah, no, I didn't. You know I don't know those. Yeah, why would you know? That would not mean anything. I thought, I just now thought like Indiana and Pennsylvania were the same place. I didn't really everybody. All right, I'm joking. Okay, so this is the local Apple Festival in Franklin, Pennsylvania, and it's called

Apple Fest with a registered trademark. Okay, uh-oh. Yeah, but they make it very clear. It looks, I mean, it doesn't look good. It's like, it looks like it's some weird corporation when you write AppleFest with like the trademark in the Facebook event. Like it feels odd to me.

I am with you. Oh, that's like in the Facebook? Yes, like here. Oh, that's different. Look at it, AppleFest. Trade, registered trademark. That literally looks like something that you'd see on Applebee's menu. Yes!

Like 100%. It looks like Applebee's is coming out with like new pot stickers or like some new recipe. And they're like, but nobody else can have this. Applefest now at Applebee's. Maybe that's why they did it. See, okay. If that pierogi fest sued Applebee's for hosting a pierogi fest, I'd be like, go for it. Go pierogi fest, go. But don't sue another small town pierogi fest, please.

And by the way, when I was like skimming that article, it also was like, they only have 3000 people in their town. And it's like, okay, so now you're just, like you're making it look so much worse when you're saying this is a small town. Why do they matter? It's like, wait a minute. That's so fucked up.

Like, okay, anyway. So this is my last one again. Local Apple Festival, Apple Fest, to register trademark, back the fuck off Applebee's. And this is a review by Pat. Root beer milk and a great time. And a review. Oh, I had a very negative,

Rizzo root beer hyphen milk. Oxenor, I'll show you how it's written. Root space, beer space, milk space. That was like half off the screen, but I get the- Sorry, root space, beer space, milk space, and a great time. Oh my God. Who knows? That's an oxymoron.

It could be. Yeah, it's impossible. I don't know if it's root beer milk. I don't know if it's root beer and milk. It could be root beer milk. It could be root. Like you get like roots there. Or it could just be roots and beers and milks. I mean, who knows? But maybe Questlove is involved. I don't know. All of it's bad. Why would Questlove do? What does that have to do with Questlove? The roots. Nevermind. Oh, the fruits. Oh God. Okay.

I was like, does he really like root beer? Like I literally did. Maybe, actually I don't know. That's a good question for Questlove. When we got the chance to ask him that. Imagine. That would be great. Yeah.

I'd like it. That would be great. Register trademark. Okay. Well, good job, Zandy. We did it. We did it. We did it. Now, for this challenge that I'm very excited for,

I'm excited to hear about. Yeah, so Brad wrote back in after you so weirdly like chastised him for all his- I chastised him? Yeah, for staying, stay Sandy. I mean, I jumped right on the bandwagon. Oh, that was Brad. Don't get me.

Yeah, that was Brad. It's all, Brad is everywhere. Look, he literally, I was like, but we haven't even released the episode from last week. He's pervasive. He's pervasive. I just listened to that this morning for edits. I listened to that and we'd literally talk about how he-

He's like going for a hat trick or something. Was the person who had both these themes and this challenge you're about to do. And he's the one who's, and I forgot to mention this. This reminded me, like almost all the emails I saw, okay, maybe not all, like 90% of them ended with, stay Sandy because I did that. I know everybody is writing it,

but guess who's not writing it? Brad. Brad, guess what he wrote. Oh, I'm sorry, Brad. Oh, no way, it's gonna be worse, isn't it? No, but it says, as always have a beach and day and may you never be Sandy. Sunglasses emoji. I love it.

He's really trying to win you over. No, he won me over. I, these challenges or these challenges, these reviews were great. Or these things. You've got Sandy in your little pocket. Don't even worry about it. That was weird. Okay.

Yeah. I don't know about that. Brad, Brad should be worried about that. What am I going to do? What am I going to do in there? I think now I'm really framed Brad. So this is a review. Oh, so much lint.

Brad, okay. This is a, I have weirder things in my pockets. Okay. This is. Okay. Listen, I have a two year old. In your pocket? Yeah, his name is Brad. Catch up, Zandy. a two year old. In your pocket?

Yeah. His name is Brad. And then I'm in his pocket. Oh no, it's just pockets all the way down. I can't. I can't. Oh man. It's like nesting pockets. Whose pocket am I in is what I wonder.

Big Apple Fest trademark. Trade. You're in their pocket. Oh no. Okay. Anyway. Okay. I'm going to keep reading cause otherwise I'll just keep saying more things about

pockets. All right. So Brad sent in a review of Petunia's place in Newport, Oregon. Um, and I just want to point out that I thought we had covered this exact gift shop before because the reviews were so similar to a place that we had covered in the past. But then I remembered that was in a completely different state. Was it Atlantic City or something? Oh, yes.

It was like souvenir shop. Boardwalk kind of thing. Yes, yes, yes. I'm already picturing. There's one review that I have this vague memory of that might be similar. So I'm curious to hear this. I think it's probably, it'll probably ring a bell. Yeah.

This place, just like that other place has a terrible overall review on Google out of 139. They have a 1.75 average star rating. Like that's. Holy. Like unheard of, like that's very, very low. 1.7? If people don't know. Yeah. That's fucking wild. 1.75. So I should give them that 0.05 just for kicks. But yes,

this is a couple reviews. And here's the first one that I'll read for you. This is a one-star review by Lenny. Not a shop for tourists. I was looking at the magnets when I noticed a sign on top of the display that said, I'm nervous. So, so strange. I'm nervous. Don't steal magnets or you'll get thumped. Okay, that's a lot like tamer than I expected weirdly.

It's just so strange. It's so fucking random. Like what a strange thing to write on a sign. Thumped. I don't know. I don't know what it means. Okay, I was looking at the magnets when I noticed a sign on top of the display that said don't steal magnets or you'll get thumped I went to take a picture of the sign when a lady said sir

I moved and got a picture of the magnets instead of the sign that is so something I would do like oh I'm just taking pictures. It's nice magnet. Not your creepy fucking sign. I Moved and got a picture of the magnets instead of the sign. I turned around to see a lady who was pointing at a sign on the floor. She said, I can't make the signs any bigger. This sign said, no pictures.

I didn't notice it because it was on the floor. And it wasn't even very big. I apologized, but then she put a chain across the door. The chain also had a sign. It's signs all the way down. It is signs all the way down. The chain had a sign on it that said not to go over or under it and a sign.

I thought weirdly I thought it would say like no pictures, on it that said not to go over or under it and a sign. I thought weirdly I thought it would say like no pictures but then it's like do not pass this chain. This is how a chain works. Yeah. You shouldn't go past it. So thank you for that instruction. I know I talk about them all the time,

but on My Brother, My Brother, Me, one of their most underrated bits in my opinion was when they realized that asking the question, would a sign help is like such good advice in like many day to day scenarios. Like I have this quandary, this social, this awkward social quandary. And it's always like, would a sign help?

And sometimes it really would. In this case, I think this lady took it a little too far. Too much. No. Yeah. I think that sign does the opposite. It like muddies the water. Yeah.

You'd be like, I'm a little confused. You'd be like, let me make one more sign. It's like, no, no, no. Like we've had enough of the signs. Let's try a new tactic. Um, but I bet there's a sign at the front that says read all signs. I feel like you just get to a point where you're just like, like you said, signs all the way down, It's just adding onto it.

You can't stop. Um, and so I was wondering the wildest part, well it's not the wildest part. All of this is the wildest part, but there's another sign on the chain. Okay. So. No.

Yeah. The chain had a sign that said not to go over or under it and a sign that said, you can wait 10 minutes. I was literally trapped in the store until she finished checking out a customer. I joined the customer as she lifted the chain to let them out.

Bad vibes all around. End of review. Bad vibes is one way to put it. What was, I thought the chain was gonna, I thought this shop owner would say something like, you're not getting out until you delete that photo. I didn't, why was this chain up? Why, why, why? It's because he is in timeout for 10 minutes.

I'm not kidding with you that it's literally just a way to be like, you're in trouble and think about what you've done. Like it's a timeout. That's hilarious. Yeah, because she does this to a lot of people and there's never any recourse. It's just like, stay here until I release you. It sounded so threatening until you continued and the resolution is, oh, it's just done. She just lifted the chain. What the fuck?

It's a wild situation. So I have one more. I heard. Yeah, yeah, you know that part already. What the fuck? It's a wild situation. So I have one more. I heard. Yeah. Yeah. You know that part already. Uh, one star and this one's by Bonnie. Petunia did not disappoint. She roped off the exit while working in the back of the store.

When we suggested it might not be legal to detain customers, she banned us for life. She does have some unique merchandise, however, in Oregon. Oh, okay. You can't buy it anymore because you're detained and then you're banned. Brad also wrote, when I clicked through, I found tons of reviews mentioning the owner accusing people of stealing and writing hundreds of handmade signs in the store, explaining to customers that they are being watched on camera to not touch things for parents to Watch their kids etc. This person has

Literally the calling their calling is right in front of them They need to be a fucking sign maker and instead they're wasting their time with this. They don't even realize it Yeah, it's like they're a poet and they don't know it. They're a sign maker and they need to get it together. I was trying to make signs and they need to get with the time. Oh, that's better. That was pretty good. It wasn't, wasn't true. Would a sign help?

See? Anyway. Okay. So that seems really crazy. And I honestly couldn't even go bring myself to go to the link of that location because I know I would probably read every one-star review and there are hundreds of them. And you'd have so much content because it seems like this happens all the time. I would have endless.

Yeah. So we should do this challenge again someday. And then this is from Andy. Let's just do reviews of that business. Honestly? As an entire episode. Like this one said, Bonnie, Petunia doesn't disappoint. And by the way, like these two that I read were written within the last six months.

So it's still an ongoing situation. Yes. I believe it. Um, okay. So this is from Andy, they, them, and it's a review of a total wine and more. And this is a one-star review. Um, I got locked in lol and I was escorted out at 9 50 p.m. I'm confused. I thought they closed at 10 p.m. As an executive member that spent $5,000 plus on drinks alone, I felt like I did something wrong. You did, but it wasn't. You did, but it was. I felt like I did something wrong. They didn't even open the door for like three people trying to get in before they're supposed to close.

And then they wrote the day and time of this event. I'm a usual- Three people are trying to get in with 10 minutes left though. Yeah, exactly. I mean, people and etiquette surrounding business closing times is ridiculous. And then they're like, oh, well then just close earlier. It's like, but like put your sign up earlier, but then it just literally would shift it early. Like that's not how it works. Okay. up earlier, but then it just literally would shift it early. That's not how

it works. Okay, I'm getting annoyed at a made up scenario in my head. Okay. I'm a usual at Dublin store and I feel dumb even coming here. Sorry for everyone that's forced to use this location. End of review. This person I think this person needs I mean, I feel like they're being kind of hard on themselves. I think they need a drink. Oh, no.

They've spent $5,000 on drinks alone as an executive member. What does that mean? It means he's clearly important. I've no fucking clue. I don't, I've been in a total wine. It's a big chain. Like I don't think it's, you know, I think they have those like humidors with like cigars and shit. You know, maybe it's one of these weird clubs you can kind of be a part of. In which case I'm not very- That's my other circle of hell. I know, seriously. Alexander, we should make our own circle of hell. I feel like,

well, if someone out there is like, yes, you finally nailed it. You are my own circle of hell. Someone's like, you've done that already. But you know, we should like create our own little. Okay, I don't know what that means. Like we should label all the rings. We've got a humidor in a franchise. I see what you're saying. I was like, I thought you meant open our own like place. We could also do that.

That's a circle of hell. And I'm like, what the fuck does that mean? And when I say it's my personal circle of hell, I mean, it's very personal. It's like the last place I would find myself in. You and I have very similar ones, so we could make like a little game of mind melding together to make a list of our own personal hell.

And I would agree that a humidor at Total Wine and More is probably on my list as well. We'll get high and put that on our TikTok. Just us going back and forth of our- Oh my God, wait, that's fun. Let's just do the first part though. Just kidding. The people want content and we need to give it to them.

I want to give it to them. Okay. This is a review also from Andy of the Burbank Police Department. But it's not what you think. I don't know what I think. Oh, because it's getting locked in. So, uh, okay. I forgot the challenge.

I see. I got locked in the park and I called the police and they wouldn't come. I called them three times. They said, we have higher priorities. I have been living in this area for about 25 years. I am a three times. They said, we have higher priorities. I have been living in this area for about 25 years. I am a regular citizen. Feel free to look me up. Which by the way, makes you sound so irregular.

I don't know how to tell you. Now I'm very curious about your identity because it seems like you're pushing that a little too hard. Like I'm an executive citizen. I have spent 5,000 minutes. I believe that other guy because he seems like he would be the type to like have a membership card to a place like that. But this person, I immediately do not believe because he would be bragging

about how regular and ordinary they are. I've called the police phone number 5,000 times. I am an executive member of this police station. Of the police station. They let me in their humidor. It has bars on it, which is a little strange. Nope. Okay.

I've been living in the area for about 25 years and I'm a regular citizen. Feel free to look me up and follow police radio. Okay. So they probably already know about you. Then follow police radio. What does that mean? They have a police scanner is what that means.

And they listen to all the like- Oh, they follow- Called, sorry. It wasn't clear- Because they said, feel free to look me up. And follow, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, feel free to look me up, end parentheses, sorry. Oh.

I follow, I'm a normal citizen and I follow police radio, which also seems a little bit of an oxymoron. Not that there's anything wrong with following a police scanner, I guess, but. I've done it. I've like, you can like find my mind. I've done it too. I downloaded an app,

but then it wanted to charge me like 30 bucks a month. And I was like, okay, I don't care that much. And it's really boring. It's really boring. I don't even remember. There was like a very specific reason I did it for like a night. Like I, it was a website.

I didn't like downloading. Was it when that, wait, I think I know. Was it when that helicopter? Absolutely not. Oh, okay. I don't, I well, you know, maybe it would have been a different time related to something like that.

That's a good point. But that night, no, because I went way too quickly. Cause I was just Googling shit lying in bed in the dark. And until I found that fucking phone number. That's called the air traffic control tower. And they said, how did you get this number? And I said, goodbye. They literally read it.

It was a tweet. That's the thing, it was a tweet. A tweet with like zero likes from years earlier. Like it was just this random tweet. And I was like, I guess if this works, okay, I'll try it. Probably someone who got fired from the air traffic controller. And they're like, just fucking, fucking I'm gonna dox this place I feel like I'm the only one don't call numbers you read on twitter like why would I do that

Imagine doxing the air traffic control I didn't even star 67 in like does that still work I don't even know I don't know we should try it okay let's get high and try to star 67 in the air traffic The air traffic control. Yeah. Just call the air traffic. Wouldn't that be funny? No, I do not need the FTA. Don't pretend like you don't know them on a personal level. Don't pretend like you're not an executive member of the whatever the fuck you just said.

Yeah. I have their- The FAA? FAA? I don't know. Federal Airline Administration? FTA is the Federal Transit Administration. Oh, that could be right. That's like buses and stuff.

FAA sounds right. That's Air Traffic Control. Yeah, Federal Aviation Administration. I'm so smart. My bad, my bad. I said airplanes or something stupid instead of ventilation, but I was close. I'm going to start a competing business called the FAA, but it's going to be called the Avian Association and then they're going to sue me or I'm going to sue them, hang on, I haven't quite worked out, but the optics are going to look

really good in my favor is what I'll tell you. Oh, okay. I can't wait for you to figure out how. Cause clearly you haven't yet. I'm the small town. I'm the underdog. Oh, okay. Right. So this is a five star view also from Andy and it is of the In Limpasa.

I don't know how to say that. Limpasa. And it is a five star. So this is a redemption. Lampasas. I don't know how to say that. Lampasas. And it is a five star. So this is a redemption. It's a five star review. And it just makes me laugh. This is by Richard. Crystal is the best at the front desk.

Although my stay was over a week ago, I can't stop thinking of what a great help she was. I got locked in the bathroom in my room and I forgot what my room number was so I guessed. Unfortunately I guessed wrong. No. But she still went up there to save me and I'm so grateful for her. Although I never did make it out of the bathroom that night anyways she was a great sport and we love you Crystal. What? sport and we love you, Crystal. What?

I'm so sorry. I have no idea. And then it says, PS, if you read this, you're on YouTube, BTW. Wait, what? Oh, hold on. They know that we're, we're now putting clips on YouTube. Oh, that's weird. But it's actually to Crystal. They said, PS, if you read this, you're on YouTube, BTW, rum pups

is the name of the channel. I'm okay. So they must have talked about Crystal on their channel. And by meaning they- Favor a shout out. They were like doing a video of them locked in the bathroom and like, Hey everybody. Or a travel vlog.

Travel vlog, yeah. I was gonna show you the city around town, but unfortunately I'm locked in the bathroom and I don't know my room number. Like what? How does that happen? I mean, not how do you forget your room number, but like they weren't saved at all, all night. Well, so that's what makes me laugh is like, when I, to be quite honest with you, I just

skimmed it the first time I read it and was like, this is great. Then I just read it for the first time, very thoroughly reading it aloud to you. I didn't realize like they didn't make it out until the next morning. Yeah. So where's Crystal? In someone else? Crystal went to the wrong room. And was like, there's no one in this bathroom and then that's end of story. But I don't think she could keep just checking every room since that person guessed. Do they not have that person's last name? Like, can they not look it up? That's a great question. I feel like there should be a solution that is a lot easier than crystal checking random bathrooms. Oh my God, Alexander.

What? I looked up rum pups. I don't want to know. They have 174 subscribers for videos and they're described self described as the worst channel on YouTube and the four videos that they have uploaded have a shocking amount of views for 174 subscribers. The first one, for example, has 12,000, but they're all called comedy night, pranking prank calling a hotel part. Well, that's not nice. That's not nice. Okay. I don't like that parts one, two. three, that's not nice. That's not nice. Okay. I don't like that parts one, two, that's it.

It's literally just, that's one video is parts one through four. But it's all, that's all there is for videos. Oh, and it's all about this specific one is a separate part and they all appear to be claymation animated or claymation, whatever claymation. And they are all different people in the thumbnails. They got so many views. I don't really understand, but. That's not a fun prank.

Poor Crystal. That's not nice. I don't like that. I'm sorry. I did not realize this. And I'm, I'm also assuming Andy didn't cause why would they know that? But.

I mean, of, of't, because why would they know that? But, um... I mean, of all, I will say, of all pranks on YouTube, it's definitely not up there with the worst. Like, I feel like I'm getting upset about this. Like, I'm not compared to someone who's absolutely vile. Okay, what bothers me though, for real, what bothers me is knowing that they actually called a hotel and said, we're stuck in this random room and then made that hotel employee go check that.

Oh yeah. No, it's annoying. That's fucked up. Absolutely. Don't do that. No, but like who's in that room? What if they're just like sleeping and like a hotel staff comes in? You know what I mean? Like this is all big trouble. It's like inconvenient and not nice to certain people. And like, I don't think it's like-

Could also be very bad and scary if you're just sleeping in your room and somebody pranks the hotel staff and they come up there. They're like, someone's locked in your bathroom. Yeah, exactly. Like I wouldn't let those people in. Yeah, yeah. I'd be, yeah.

Okay, so this next one I have is from Abby, she, her, and it's of the inn San Francisco. The I N N San Francisco. The I-N-N San Francisco. Yeah, figured. This is just a doozy. The hotel, okay. I'll just read it. One star. My son was tired and went to bed early

and I didn't want to keep him up working on my laptop so I went down to the garage and sat in my car to work. When I was ready to go upstairs, I noticed rats running from under the next car. They went straight under my car. I was so frightened to get out. I had to spend the entire night sitting in my car until the early hours when guests began to come downstairs. I complained to the front desk and they thanked me

and said they'd put out some traps. No refund for the bed I never got to sleep in or compensation for having to spend a miserable, uncomfortable night in the car. These people don't care about your comfort and the place has rats. Don't stay here. Pay a little more and get a nicer hotel.

End of review. Oh wow. Room tip. Oh wow. Is this another prank? Room tip, room tip. Do not send your kids down to the garage alone. First of all, I would say that's a life tip. Yeah, wait a second. I wouldn't relegate it to hotels,

nor would I relegate it to rat infested garages. I feel like, yeah, that should be a good life tip for any garage in any location. Agreed, I'm inclined to agree. But so the fact that they were like, I was forced to sleep in my car. Okay. Not quite. You were outside. Yeah.

So you can't just blame the hotel for having rats. Yeah. I'm confused. I was, I wasn't sure if I missed something there, but the rats have, were all coming from under a car, correct? Yeah, they were out outdoors. Well, in the garage though. Oh, but in the parking garage.

Yes. But I feel like, no offense, but what parking garage doesn't have rats? I mean, I feel like many most do in big cities like San Francisco. Yeah. I think that is, I mean, I assume since this person's staying somewhere overnight, that's not their home. They're not from San Francisco? They are from, well, they're from Northern California.

Okay, but they were like, I don't know. It just seems like, yeah, they're in the city. Oh my God, there's a rat in this parking, which is crazy. No, I'm with you. I'm with you. You talked to the hotel the next morning. Why didn't you call them that night? Yeah, wait.

Somebody get these rats out from under my car. Wait, they slept in their car because I'm so confused. What are you, literally they got to their car to do some work, because they didn't want to keep their son awake. Yeah. Who else is? Then they saw rats run from another car

under their own car. So they were too scared to leave their vehicle until morning. Are they an elephant? Like, you know, isn't that a thing? Yes. You know, like they're like sitting there like, oh, I can't walk there because there's a rat.

Like, what are they going to do? Not on your little feet. No, I, Christina, I fuck. Whenever I see a rat in New York City, which is most days I leave the house, which is not most days. Most days you think you see a cat, but it's actually a rat. Yeah. Just giant rats.

I get excited. I mean, I get excited. I know that's not the norm. It's not the norm. And it doesn't have to be, I don't blame people for getting freaked out by rats, but yeah, parking garage. Yeah. It feels like not, and that feels like not the hotels. It feels like they shouldn't have to give you your money back because you slept in, because you chose, actively chose to sleep in your car. Where is your child? Elsa, where's your child?

They're like alone in the hotel and you're just like, well, I'm too scared of the rats, whatever. Like, did the child sleep in the car with you? No, no, they left the child up there. So who's with the child? Nobody. The rats? Well, I don't know if it's a child. It just said my son.

It could be an adult, like a teenager adult son. That's fair. I just in my head, I'm like, what? But at the end they said don't send a child alone. That's just a life tip is what I've turned it into. I don't understand. They're trying to prey on people's parental instincts by being like, would you let your child stay here?

Would you let your child stay overnight in this parking garage? Would you send your child into a parking garage in the middle of the night at this place? I mean, no, I wouldn't, but it's not because of your review and it's not because of rats either, like to be quite frank. It's not, I don't make those parenting decisions based on where the rats are, but. So this is my, I think this is the end. Yes, this is the end, the finale. I like to say. Julio sent in a forum.

And he wrote, I found a forum, Roll Eyes, and it's a website called Red Flag Deals. So. I don't know. What's, what's, what does that mean? I think what it means if I'm getting the context right car racing no it's literally a forum about like shady business practices or like to vote your complaints oh okay so oh so this sorry in my head this was like a place where you get deals, but this is a... Oh no, it's just a forum to discuss things. I see. Got it.

Like literally, here's some of these. Does Canada need Aldi or Lidl? Amazon.com no longer ships new phones to Canada? So it's just like people... Sounds very... So it's a Canadian forum. It is. Canadian Tire Triangle Rewards.

Anyway, oh, restaurant now charges for takeout containers for leftovers. So people are just kind of bitching, air miles, like airline stuff. I mean, it's just- Oh, there's one here that says, thoughts on Applebee's AppleFest? Oh my God, their new AppleFest.

Oh man, that's- Only in Canada because, because there was an Apple Fest that sued them out of the US. But that one was called Apple. What's Apple in French? I should know that. I should know that too, right? Maybe it's just Apple Fest.

It's probably like, it's a, it's what? It's like a French Apple Fest. I don't know. Wait, isn't it like Palm? Wait, no. Oh yeah.. Because Palm de Teyre, like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Apple of the, is a potato, Apple of the Earth, Palm de Teyre. So it's Palm? Yeah, that's not right. Yeah, I think so. I'm gonna Google. Apple in French. It's the Palm Fest. Yeah, P-O-M-M-E. Okay, Palm Fest. I'm trademarking it right now. It's apparently to post and use that as a hashtag on Instagram. I'm going to sue all of them.

Sue them now. I'm suing all of them. Okay. So this is the last bit. It's a forum on red flag deals. And as Julio so kindly narrated, here we have Michael, a newbie, that's in quotations, and then says, parentheses, he's not yet a deal addict or a deal guru. So this is their version of cool cruiser, you know, and all that. There's a hierarchy. So this is technically not, it's technically not the challenge. That's why I read all the other ones first. It doesn't complete the challenge because this guy got trapped in an Ashley furniture store scam.

Oh, I was like, of all stores to get trapped into, or trapped in. It's corduroy vibes, I would argue. Yeah, I would argue the same thing. I'd be right there with you. And then he wrote, he has such eek vibes. So let's see. Yeah, Julia says, I'm bending the rules here, but I saw trapped in an Ashley store and I was in.

So here is the forum. It was posted in 2019 and it's called, I got trapped in the Ashley furnitureurniture Big Cheating Loop. Please help. And this is the original post. Hi guys, I'm in Calgary, Canada, inside an Ashley store. No, it just says, I am in Calgary, Canada. I have a long and complicated story

about purchasing furniture from an Ashley home store. That is why I said in the title I got trapped in the Ashley furniture big cheating loop. I will give you guys a brief version and I hope any of you can give me some suggestions so I can finish it ASAP. I got a broken bed, cracked leg, cracked rails, and chipped footboard from Ashley Delivery and it has been sitting in my bedroom for over three months that I have got the replacement yet. I called Ashley many times and they just lied and postponed the replacement. They told me to wait. So here is the cheating loop. After payment, I cannot talk to the real Ashley home store. I have to call Guest Care and they just blame the manufacturer, which is not Ashley, the

fact that Ashley is still selling these beds and they have stocks in their warehouse in Calgary! Many exclamation points. But Guest Care told me they have to order it from their manufacturer, which is in three different locations. I've been waiting for more than three months. Even if they make a new one and send it from Mars, it should have arrived by now. Yesterday I called them again. One of Guest Care told me it is the end of October, but another one told me it is

November, what should I do? Please help. Okay. So that is the original plan or problem. And this guy, DS2Chan, who by the way, is a deal addict. Oh, celebrity. Celebrity. I don't have any experience, but I've only read horror stories.

Good luck. Unfortunately, you may never hear from them again. How about trying to contact a local news reporter? Um, and then they linked a bunch of like local news stories. This is why I look at this. This is a pro. This is a pro. Like this is actually an addict.

I would prefer to use the proper terminology and give him the credit where credit's due. It's impressive. Help. That seems helpful. It's like, Hey, we'll get to the credit where credit's due. I had, it's impressive. Help. That seems helpful. It's like, Hey, we'll get to the bottom. Let's fuck them over. Let's not fuck them over. If you got fucked over, let's get them back.

Yeah. Um, yeah. Then on the bottom, you can kind of read there. Like, uh, what do you call that on a forum? Signature? Yeah, their signature. Yes. Thank you.

And they listed all their different, uh, now this is where I'm in. Credentials. Not quite. Oh, credentials have been reporting to local news. You haven't calling Burbank PD 5,000 times a day about this actually cheating ring. I'm also a very normal citizen. It's like, I'm responsible. It'd be funny.

It's like, I'm responsible for all of these news articles about businesses. That would be insane. Like I'd be so impressed. That seems like the next like house of cards type show or like the next how to get away. Like he's just running this like ring of just entrapping big businesses.

I love it. Like a Robin Hood style. Feels so sinister, you know? I like it though. But in his signature actually, he has a quote that says, you're only as dumb as you look. So that's nice. And then he has all his different, this is where I sound really ignorant,

but like computer setups, I don't know. It says eight terabyte RAM, WD 300 terabyte HD Nvidia with 32 terabyte memory. Like he's just like listing like hard drives or something. 8 terabyte RAM? Yeah. That's, I feel like that's beyond a personal piece. What the fuck? That's huge!

That's a lot. 8 terabytes feels very large. Must be like a server or something. Like I don't know how servers work. I don't know any, like this is, like you say eight terabytes, it's beyond any computer and stuff I use. So people, I'm sure there are some people who are better nerds than I, who understand what's going on.

No, Alexander, I would never say that about you. You're the ultimate nerd and I will stand by that. I mean, I would take it, but I feel like I don't deserve it. I would want it, but I don't deserve it is what I'm saying. Well, maybe I'll just mail you an executive membership card from Total Wine and that'll be enough validation for you. I'll take it, I'll take it. Wait, does this person have anything that notify,

or notify that signifies that they're like, someone who like runs this place, like are they running the server that this forum is on? Like, because I feel like that's like server level numbers. Intriguing. Let me find out. They're doing stuff that I don't understand, but I don't know. Maybe, maybe they just are just.

Deal addict. Wow. Okay. He's very active still. So his most recent post was four days ago. And he also posted 17 days ago about the McDonald's Big Extra. So he's all over the place. It's not just like, you know, not just Ashley furniture. Yeah, no, I believe it. I mean, you don't get the addict like signifier for nothing, I assume. I mean, that's true.

He's gotten a hundred percent positive feedback. Wow. Oh, wow. Okay, sorry. So he's purchased six different things through this website, I guess. You buy, okay. This'm this is nevermind. I'm sorry.

I brought us this deep. I was just, why I didn't expect all this. I'm starting to get confused. So I'm going to go back. I'm we've, we're all there together. Like I said, I'm starting to get, no, I was like, we've been there. I think I, and I think it's my, this is my fault. Maybe this is probably, I'm just going to go with yes.

And I think it's my, this is my fault. Maybe this is probably, I'm just going to go with yes. This is the response from the OP from OP to DS2Chan deal addict. So remember the last thing DS2Chan said was, uh, why don't you contact. Local news. Yeah. OP says, I am trying now, but I did not get any reply yet. And I'm not sure if they care. Do you have, I mean, they don't care that you have a bed from, I am trying now, but I did not get any reply yet. And I'm not sure if they care. Do you have, I mean, they don't care

that you have a bed from, I mean, you know, like, if this were some bigger story, maybe. But I feel like this is breaking news. Bad customer service doesn't seem to be that abnormal of a situation for news to report. Have you tried suing them with a company called Ashley Furniture Store and just seeing if that'll work because it seemed to get a lot of press for

both pierogi festivals. So it could be a win-win, you know? Okay. So I'm trying now, but I did not get any reply yet. And I'm not sure if they care. Do you have any idea about which media and who I should contact? And thank you very much for your link.

If I saw this before, I would never buy anything from Ashley. And then MP3 underscore Skye, who is a deal guru, I don't know if that puts him higher or lower than an addict. So, and I don't think it's my place to decide, so I'm just going to let that one sit. I'm out.

MP3, like I'm waiting for your input. Yeah, I'm like you don't think I know more than you do. Where do you think DealGuru falls on the hierarchy? Um, mp3 underscore Skye wrote, is the bed already broken at delivery? If so, why did you accept the delivery? And now he's a retired forum moderator, so he doesn't fuck around.

Okay. Um, so when he gets involved, you he doesn't fuck around. Okay. So when he gets involved, you know, you're on the nice. Now Kenny responds to this and Kenny's a newbie. You'll, you'll know by the, I'm already going to know. Yeah. Please comma in future only use Ikea furniture. What? So what are you talking about?

Okay. That is not, that is not a productive thing to say. So wiki wiki, Oh my God. Who's title, who's, who's ranking is banned. They're banned from this? They're banned. And they have posted 22,791 times. So if they're banned.

What? Is that real really like it actually is I think they're actually banned because it's actually written in the font of the website like who tags your level or whatever. Their photo is, is this a movie? Like throw mama from the train is the title of the movie poster. That sounds familiar. An old lady holding a sword.

Yeah, it's a movie. Okay, so that's their profile pic. Yeah, it's Billy Crystal, Danny DeVito. Yes, it's too blurry to understand who's in the picture. I just see Throw Mama From The train and then multiple people holding weapons. And so in response to please in future only use IKEA, this is what this banned user called WikiWiki posted. Please, in future, realize that a lot of Canadians don't have an IKEA in their city.

So it seems like they get a little worked up about things. So I can see why they would get banned. Then everyone gets into an argument about the value of Ikea versus like... Mm-mm, that's not what... Man, that newbie, that's the thing is they started this fucking nonsense. They should have just kept their mouth shut

so everyone could focus on the original post. Just like why even go there? It's so unnecessary. To be fair, that's why they're a newbie. They didn't know that if they throw the name Ikea into the mix, suddenly they stir the pot and everyone's gonna get involved. But how could you not? Like how could you not know? I mean, that is a fair point, they didn't know that if they throw the name Ikea into the mix, suddenly they stir the pot and everyone's going to get involved.

But how could you not? Like, how could you not know? That is a fair point, but that is probably why they're still a newbie all these years later. How did they put it? Please only use Ikea going forward? Please, in future. What's a way to put it? Which already seems like an aggressive thing to say, like, please in future, don't take photos of my magnets or I'll put the chain up and you'll be in timeout. So then everyone starts to- like, okay.

So everyone starts shitting on IKEA as we understand will happen if you do this. Sure. Then this user who originally wrote only use IKEA is getting all antsy defending IKEA, because obviously, and this is, this is someone else's response. They are a deal expert.

Now I'm getting upset because there's so many rankings. This is too much. You can't just muddy the waters with all this. You need like- I hate how much I've learned about this website. You know, it's like with black belts and stuff where they have like levels where you just get a stripe added to your belt instead of just adding like

more and more colors. You just add a little stripes. You don't need to be, okay. okay, we'll talk about it later. Okay, I'll email them later. Please. What if I wrote a post about this website on their website? I think you should, no, you should contact the local news about it.

Oh, you're right. By local, I mean Canadian news. I'm gonna call this Canadian, this random Canadian link that this guy posted. Okay, it's gonna be like, how did you get this number? This is air traffic control. I'm sorry. This is the most meandering bullshit ever.

I'll get to the point. Okay. So this is another user called Deathhawk, who is a deal expert. And, uh, in response to somebody who wrote, have you seen the stuff IKEA sells? They responded. Are you implying that IKEA is crap? Even though it's held together by press board and prayers, it's surprisingly decent. So press board and prayers, kind of to use that old term, shooting yourself in the foot there with your argument saying,

IKEA is great, even though it's held together with particle and prayers. I get what they're saying though. My Ikea bed has been traveled with me from California to here. It works. It's nothing special. It's nothing crazy. My couch is Ikea. It just was fairly inexpensive.

I got a good deal and it's lasted. Now you sound like one of these fucking things. You sound like a deal-drew. But I would never be like, huh, you should be using IKEA. It's like, no, like, what? It's not that great. Okay, get ready because it goes on. Okay, I'm ready. You're wrong. Because you're wrong.

Me? Yeah. I will 100% take IKEA over crap like the brick, which I guess is a Canadian or, I don't know, some furniture company. I think we should stop guessing to be honest. Great. I will 100% take IKEA over crap like the brick and apparently Ashley. The structural bits of my IKEA bed are surprisingly strong. Hell, I have a $5 lack bookshelf holding up $4,000 worth of servers. Wait, who said that? The same person. Which one? Name them. Oh, Deathhawk, deal expert.

Okay, that person has, why do they all have servers? I don't know. I like said that about someone else. I know, but well, this person's signature says, do you not have anything else to do rather than argue with strangers on the internet? Which seems like maybe look in the mirror. I was gonna say.

Oh, wait, sorry, there's a follow-up. Nope, that's why I'm on the internet arguing with strangers. If I had anything better to do, I'd probably be doing it. I was gonna say, they're so close to being self-aware. And then, okay, then turns out they are self-aware. And then somebody basically suggested, if you paid by credit card,

like call your credit card company, but they wrote CC company. And then poor poor OP who's such a newbie was like, what's a CC company? And that's when Julia was like, he doesn't even know what a CC company is. So I doubt he knows what an EEC is. He's got for real newbie vibes. There's, there's overlap between people who know what EEC is and people who don't know what CC company would be.

I feel like there's a pretty big overlap there. But I feel like cool cruisers means CC also. Oh, I see. So yeah, exactly. So they'd be confused. You're right. They have a different meaning for that. Yeah, it makes a lot of sense.

It does. So that's all I've got for you today. Thank you for- Remember when I was nervous about what Julio sent you? Yeah. I love being validated in the end and being like, yeah, I had every reason to expect nonsense. I mean, Julio writes, roll eyes in reference to his own behavior. So I think that's pretty clear. Julio knows what he's doing.

And you write coffin, cotton. I write coffin. Right on back. Yeah, it's a rough, it's a weird friendship we've got going. Oh no, it's good stuff, good stuff. Thank you, Julio. Good job, that was fun. That's a fun challenge.

I feel like we're gonna have to bring it back. I would love that, I would love that, yeah. Good plan. So yeah, y'all, thanks for listening. Don't forget, beachtosanee.com for tickets to our live shows. We're going, what, 12 places, is it? All over the country of the United States, not Canada,

this time around. Maybe we'll go international one day. If we sell these out. Details pending. Details pending, oh yeah. And I was gonna mention that one, that review I read, details pending. I was like, that was six years ago that it was written.

Oh no, okay. And there are that it was written. Oh no. And there are no details. So they're still pending. I don't think I'm gonna find any details later. But anyway, yeah, so come see us live. We announced our Patreon last week, our new changes to that, patreon.com slash beach to Sandy. We're excited for those.

Yeah, we've just got a lot of exciting stuff cooking. So we're excited and we're happy, we just got a lot of exciting stuff cooking. So we're excited and we're happy you're here along for the ride. We love you. Love y'all. Bye. Bye. Beach to Sandy Water Too Wet is a Forever Dog production hosted and produced by Zandi and Christine Schieffer. Edited by Marco Padilla. Cover art by Courtney Aventura. Theme music by Mavis White. Executive produced by Zoe Applebaum Forever Dog Productions is Joe Silio, Alex Ramsey

and Brett Bowham