Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 294: Reviews of Catholic Schools

Episode Date: July 17, 2024

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you and me I wanted to like this podcast but I'd give it zero stars if I could. Hello I'm reporting live from where the magic happens, where Blaze trains for jiu-jitsu and also does his dune lego set which I have ceremoniously well unceremoniously shoved aside so that we could attempt to record with slightly better Wi-Fi what I didn't know he had a dune you're just telling me this now so well this was're recording. Oh, this was his Father's Day gift. Yeah. That's exciting. I thought I had told you about that. What is it of? The ornithopter.

Cool. That's cool. I would love to see it one day. The instruction manual is just about as thick as like a novel. As Dune itself. As Dune itself. There you go. So it looks overwhelming to me but I'm sure he'll have fun reassembling whatever I accidentally just shoved to the side. So anyway sorry everybody I hope we're this is just last minute because my Wi-Fi has been crummy which if you listen to my other show you heard that There as well just constant issues. So here I am. We got the BOSU ball

Right here shoved up into the sky for some reason You know, it's a little different. Why is that called a BOSU ball? Oh, I don't know. I thought that's what it's called exercise ball Yeah, I don't know BOSU ball. I've I don't know. I thought that's what it's called. An exercise ball. Yeah, I don't know. BOSU ball. I've just never heard that. I don't know. This is a very confusing start. What is happening? I'm sorry. I haven't, I just woke up. I haven't had coffee really and I'm just overwhelmed by my slow internet speeds. So hey Zandy, how are you? Overwhelmed by your slow internet speeds. How? Okay, good. Well, we are recording today in the morning, which is why my energy is very weird today. We're doing 11 a.m.

Okay, cuz literally every time you talk about us recording in the morning, it's always at like 11 a.m. Okay, but to be fair we just flew in from a different time zone. I suppose. So yeah, that's true. I've been up since 8 so I'm- Holy shit, who are you? I don't know and I've become somewhat normal sleep schedule wise. It's weird So we're doing reviews of Catholic schools, which is a mistake considering How this morning is starting out? Um Which yeah, let's bring up our traumatic upbringing

Yeah, it's about time we talk about it. Um, we've never have Never have it's a fun fact for everyone here that we went to Catholic school from age two and a half, three to 18, or in your case, since you're a little baby, 17. So it was a rough time. And reading these reviews was a little jarring, but also very relatable unfortunately even the ones sometimes people would send in ones and be like look how crazy this is

and I was like no that's just normal yeah a lot of them were just normal I was like yeah that sounds about right a lot of them were just sad a lot of bullying yeah yeah a lot of them were just sad I tried not to bring the sad ones I'm gonna do you want me to start? Do you wanna start? I will say there's something to look forward to. This episode is gonna be fine. It's gonna be great.

We're gonna love it. We're gonna have a great time. But you know why especially for some reason whenever, like the ones that we hate the most or the one, not that we're gonna hate this one, but I feel like whenever we have an episode and afterwards we're like We were not feeling it. We were like bickering like before or after like things weren't good

Then for some reason inevitably people are like that was my favorite episode and I'm thinking fuck you You didn't have to sit in the room with us, but we haven't had an episode like that in a while. So It really makes you question your own self understanding because you're like, oh, we were not on our game. And then people are like, man, you really nailed it. And it's like, hang on, should I be more confused and less sure of myself on other days? I guess, I don't know.

So, oh, by the way, speaking of our high school, I just found this, which I don't know so oh by the way speaking of our High school. I just found this which I don't know why this is set up on blazes desk alongside his doom I'm nervous Lego set it says Summit Country Day sixth grade volleyball What a winter apart, this is a real-life participation trophy Typical wow, it's just beautiful. It really is just be look at glisten in the ring light. Oh wow it's just beautiful it really is just be look at glisten in the ring light oh it's amazing yeah I did get some good trophies in my time there not because I was actually successful but oh my god this is proof this is proof of what this is my life for award oh yeah I have one of those I do not we got an award for being there our whole lives when I move

yes that's like a check for therapy but it's okay well and I was excited to get Those I do not we got an award for being there our whole lives when I move Like a check for therapy, but it's okay. Well, and I was excited to get I was like, yep I'm a lifer But a lot of people even though my class was like 90 kids They didn't know I was a lifer like people didn't know that I've been there for so long because they didn't know me Well same like when I graduated people are like wait what you've been around and I was like I've known you since you were two and a half Yeah, and they'd be like that doesn't sound right and I was like, okay. Well, do you have a challenge today? Yes It's a great one. It's a challenge. It's find reviews written by celebrities And it was successful which is kind of I know I know I know know. I know. It was successful. So

It's worth sticking around for that for sure And for this whole episode, I promise Oh and speaking of all this shit is I feel like the night this comes out. We're in Columbus, right? We're doing our hometown show. There's a lot of it it's going to be an interesting thing. Home state shows. Ohio tonight, Columbus tonight, Cincinnati tomorrow night. What the heck? Y'all get your butts over there. Come see us live.

Come see us. Make this Ohio life we've lived worth it. Please. Oh my God. God, this is getting weird. Yeah. Let's get into it. Do you have a review for us?

I do. This is from Danielle Sheher and it is of Catholic Central High School in Michigan. This is a one-star review. I think this is from greatschools.com or one of these like school rating websites. One star. This is just a school of Kool-Aid drinking sport fanatics with very deep pockets. It has the most snooty circle of parents. The students are brainwashed to think they are the best.

It is actually scary to watch so much Kool-Aid drinking going on. Be warned, just another hypocritical Catholic school. End of review. Danielle was like, I don't think they know that reference Yeah, oh the Kool-Aid reference. Maybe they do Mm-hmm. It just feels like they don't is it because they're not saying like flavor aid or whatever the real thing was Is that what it really what was a flavor of flavor aid was itpe. That's right, ding ding ding. And who says Catholic school didn't teach us anything?

Um, this, I think it's because they keep quoting Kool-Aid and it just feels like they learned the phrase and put it in multiple times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the idea of drinking the Kool-Aid, like they just don't know. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's just scary to watch so much kool-aid drinking going on it sounds like maybe they are seeing solo cups and are thinking oh is that the kool-aid like by that point they should have been a little they didn't need to keep up the kool-aid thing they could have yeah moved on to something more specific yeah without being yeah with being vague enough where they didn't actually have to prove it i I see. I see it just felt accurate I was like, yeah, I mean it did. Yeah, and it was the end of the day It was we're going to a school that cared about sports too when you're like division four and not very good Like sure don't get me wrong. There was some successful athletes like in our state in our division. Yeah. Yeah

But I mean, did you see my volleyball trophy? Sorry. Yeah There's one. It was her one 2003 playing volleyball like that time when I played basketball and scored two points in my entire career. Basketball. Yeah. Seventh grade. I have no I barely played. I barely got on the court. Listen, we dabbled.

Look, and it was because the coach took it so seriously. And I'm like, what the fuck am I in seventh grade? It gets intense. A little bit silly. And I'm like, I don't know. Anyway, I'm going to move on. Sort of like, for what? For what? For what? For what?

We're not at this school to get scholarships. I'm sure some people did get athletic scholarships. I know they did, but man. You're looking at her. I'm gonna read a review from Zyla, they, them, who sent this review in of St. Bernard's Catholic School in Louisville. One star.

Three of my grandchildren go there, and I wish they did not. Too much drama. Rules for only some children. This is not ran with care, love, education, and safety, but only chaos. The handbook is a joke. It is not followed at all. Mr. Johnson gives three or more homework nightly. Too much. Bad grades, all good, still play sports. End of review. Did a child log into grandma's iPad? A child got into grandma's tablet. There's no way in my mind, there's no friggin way.

Mr. Johnson gives three whole homeworks a night. That, like, grandma, I love that, I just get the idea, like like grandma, please let me just like use your Google account. She's like, I don't know about that. Please. It's worse, it's Yelp. Oh my God, grandma's Yelp. You can't compromise that. That's a sacred place.

I love that though, just run in chaos. I mean, yeah. Yeah. And then like, yeah. Relatable, I remember the chaos um I just okay so I was like finally I went to this person's profile because it's a Yelp account at like they also reviewed the st. Bernard Catholic community in Louisville with the one star review. Oh my god they're just they just want their grandkids to move

closer I think that's what it is they're like trying they're doing like a long con like Just a way to get the kids to move closer to their neighborhood and then but this one's about like they're saying my child Like not my grandchildren. Well, my child was injured really bad by bullying I have no idea. I have no idea what's going on. But there are that's three one-star reviews. The other one is of their apartment complex in Louisville. So I'm inclined to think that they just they just are they had a moment where they're like I'm gonna review things. I don't know. They're like well since Sheila is not listening to me. I know my Yelp community will hear me out All right, this is from Rachel she her and

Rachel said I attended this school, so I'm not gonna say the name of it But it's in Manitoba, Canada And Rachel says as a Catholic girls school each month we were given a worthy charity to collect money for For three months though art like a tsunami relief Red Cross, you know that kind of thing for three months though Our charitable donation was redoing our gym floor That's the most our high school thing It's a charity to make sure our floors are shiny and new so that our beautiful basketball team that Alexander is on can go

far. So yeah, we sure did. It's such a thing. Oh my god. It's such a thing. One star. Smells like cabbage water. Do not smell at this school. End of review. So keep your nose plugged Don't it cabbage water. I mean hey, come on cabbage is good cabbage water that's like saying like hot dog water like it's like I Guess it's like where the cabbage was hanging out and yeah, it's like a cabbage la Croix Well, that's fucking that is foul. I'll give you that. Yeah. Okay. I think you just proved my point. Yeah, I did

I'm sorry. I don't know what I'm thinking Oh god ours. Thankfully did not have any cabbage water smells as far as I remember I mean maybe it did we were there our whole lives. We probably would've gotten used to it. You're so right Oh, like I haven't been into another high school and been like oh this doesn't smell like cabbage water is that are they okay true you know um i um Yeah, i could be their next charitable organization Clearing up the by air by glade air fresheners for all the hallways Oh, they could use it. Okay. next one's from Rachel Sheher who sent

in a Facebook post which is fun of Saint Pius X high school in Houston and here's a post ready? There's an attached picture and video what? Pius the 10th? I'm stupid sorry I was thinking like Saint X like Xavier so I got it I was Saint Pius the 10th Christian I'm an idiot didn't go to Latin Convention I know I know I'm an idiot I'm glad you corrected me so the people didn't get to imagine imagine even more embarrassing my own people okay it's so early it's like already like 11 15. Oh, that's enough. Here's a here's a Facebook post doesn't recommend. Okay. I live next to the baseball field and our house is constantly being hit by baseballs. I first reach out to the school in September of 2022.

As a ball had damaged the side of our house, a neighbor informed me that a baseball had previously broken one of their windows. I've been patiently asking for some sort of resolution in a thread of 13 different emails. They keep giving me the runaround and nothing has been done. They also play obnoxiously loud music throughout the day and are on the loudspeakers into the night. At this point it has become a safety issue and we avoid going into the backyard or letting our dog out when they are hitting. I suspect they will get into some legal trouble at some point.

It's also worth noting that they have Nets up protecting faculty vehicles, but none protecting homes and people slash pets behind the field. I would expect a private school to handle such a situation in a better manner. Luckily, we are moving soon. And of post. And when you sell the house, you can be like, oh, this is the backyard.

Anyway, moving on. I don't know. Can we go out? No. Ignore the dents in the house. And they have a video of a ball flying over there and like smacking their house. Like, it's not that I didn't really believe it. Can you imagine the dad and the family was like I'm setting up my tripod I'm gonna catch them in the act this time. It looks like a security camera like from above So it's like but you can hear the thunk and everything and see it and then there's a picture of a dent in their house

It's not it's not that noticeable. But like when you know to look for it It's they're right about the dog like that's alarming or if you have kids playing back there or anywhere nearby and the balls are just like getting, and it's probably when they hit, I mean I don't know where their house is, like angle wise, but can you imagine if every time it hits your house it's a home run, and so like every time the ball smacks, it just like everyone erupts in cheer.

They're aiming for their house basically. Yeah, it's like maybe your house is the like the the sight line for the home run. Yeah, it could be. In which case, yeah, you should probably move and you should probably hire a really good sneaky realtor who doesn't have good ethics or morals. Yeah, well there's a there's a comment here. Oh, underneath. Right, this is Facebook. Someone said this. These people are evil and manipulative. Whatever you think you need to take this to the subsequent elevation, you probably do. These people are terrible Christians.

They smile to your face, but will do whatever is necessary to protect their ass, especially when it comes to that sweet, sweet athletic prophet. Good luck with your situation. End of comment. That's ahead of the debate team. They're like with your situation." End of comment. That's the head of the debate team. They're like, I'm so sick of this sports fanaticism. That's weird because there's another comment underneath with the exact opposing view.

Outlining out-numbers. It's my closing argument. This is like their test. It's like go on their school's Facebook page and like have a debate on Facebook. Yeah. The ultimate debate with our neighbor, the school's neighbors on Facebook. Yeah, I feel like that person was about to say hi. I'm a private injury lawyer so-and-so. You've probably seen me on a billboard. I'm ready to take this to the next level with you. I'm surprised it wasn't like call this number for the mystery love potion. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

Call me on Skype if you want. So and so Sam whatever changed my life and found my missing, missing soulmate. He has an elixir to take the dense out of your house. It's, it's always an elixir. It's always an elixir. Who are these Facebook elixir sales people? We got to do we got to talk about I need to hire a public injury attorney. I keep saying private and public injury I don't think either of those are I don't think that's a correct term. Catholic injury attorney. Oh private school injury attorney

Catholic private injury attorney Okay injury attorney Catholic private injury attorney Okay I'll work on that. So this is from Stephanie. Now. This is a little different Because it's a Catholic school, but it's a Catholic school an international school in Singapore So this is a one-star review These are this is like where my notes become slightly unhinged. Oh These are, this is like where my notes become slightly unhinged. And we were supposed to record this a week ago,

so like I kind of forgot about a lot of this until just now. I'm just gonna read it, one star. After Mr. Williams left SJI, the school seems to be managed by a bunch of vice principals who are not capable enough to handle school issues. The new principal, Miss Rosita, is invisible.

SJI, as I knew, used to be a school that has a proper rule and regulation. Now I often see a boy and a girl kiss each other at the school driveways while waiting for the grab. What's the grab? I assume getting picked up. Students with color. That is not the word you, I'm sorry.

The grab. Who was, who was? Hey, I'm just outside my high school waiting to be grabbed. What? I'm outside my Catholic high school waiting to be grabbed. I'm thinking like, SVU, like you're getting abducted. Yes. Are you thinking like you're getting groped?

Both. Oh. Both? Students with colorful hair are coming to school. Girls are wearing very short skirts to expose their legs or shock to know about a scandal of a boy and a girl inside a toilet. I don't think it is acceptable in a Catholic school like SJI, end of review. What a fucking dork. If Mr. Rosita weren't fucking letting these kids climb into the toilet and smooch.

It's Mr. Rosita causing all this. No, it sounds like a dork that I would have been back then. I like rules. I know, a boy and a girl kissed each other. Oh, oh No, that's why I waited for so long Mm-hmm. I was like I can't do that until my 20s. Oh I'm a Catholic boy That's right

Yeah, the the colorful hair the short skirts. Also, I didn't color my hair until my 20s. Look, I knew as a child of God that it wouldn't be acceptable for me to break any of these guidelines, even after graduating high school. So then what changed in your 20s if you were a child of God and then you remained a child of God? I was an adult of God. That makes it okay.

Oh, you know, my religion teacher in fifth grade, if we all got A's on the final test, he dyed his hair pink and mailed us all a printed out photograph of it. Oh yeah, I remember that. And so I'm like, wait a minute, he dyed his hair. My religion teacher started kissing boys in front of us. What? I was, wow, I was about to call the authorities. I'm so sorry.

I didn't mean like children when I said that, sorry. I meant like I was just joking about that review and realized how terrible that sounded. No, I meant was kissing men in front of us like Never mind Everyone gets an A. I'm going to kiss the stats teacher right on the mouth. Yes. That's kind of the joke I was going whoops. Yeah, thank you Maybe I shouldn't have said it that way Anyway, and once I saw that I thought I am never kissing anyone because that was awful to watch That's how they do it though. Remember like in elementary school, we've talked about this so many times. They had a spit in a cup to pass it around to show us what happens when you have sex, which is like

Apparently I learned in my 30s not what happens when you have sex, but you know, some some day. I've been doing it wrong. Yeah, I know. And they were like, well you drink this? Well, then that's why you shouldn't have sex. And so I feel like that was like a fear. Look, they were like, watch, I'm going to kiss the stats teacher. And then it was like, well, now I will never kiss a boy. Yeah, that was unpleasant to watch at 1030 in the morning. Exactly.

And it worked on me. It worked. Hello, our Sand Monsters. We are so excited to announce we are going on tour this summer so you can come see us live as we read one-star reviews of places in your town. Two of our shows are already sold out. Seattle and Portland, thank you. We got 10 more shows after that and we're going all across the country. So we can't wait to see you all. Go to Beach2Sandy.com to see where we are headed and go get your tickets!

Here my next one is a review sent in by Stacey Sheher. Here we go. One star. Don't send your kids to Catholic schools if you want them to grow up without trauma. End of review. Nice and sums up everything. Who wrote that? Because it's not anyone I know or have confided in my whole life. It is a student slash former student slash parent of a child at Oakland Catholic High School in Pittsburgh, so who knows. Wow, well I'm glad they finally figured it out.

Yeah, me too. It's better to come to terms with that earlier than later. I had so many positives and by so many, I mean just my group of friends for my time at school that I always kind of had that in my head like Hey, no matter what it was all okay because I got this great friend group and I'm still grateful for that. But I like realized I think I said this on the episode like sometime like last year I was like, you know D like I think my time at catholic school kind of messed me up

D like I think my time at Catholic school kind of messed me up In how I think about things and she was like you don't say like not because I have certain behaviors But just because like I'm kind of mad at you that you haven't even uh like duh like I always knew there were some things but I kind of like played it off and then Eventually like with through therapy. I was like, oh no, oh no, that's not good. Like I there are some things in my head that I that are not good. I mean, that sounds exactly like my experience, except I did not leave with a bunch of friends. Just one, Renee, she's coming over today.

So I'm sure she'll love that this is what we're talking about. Good timing. No, it's good timing. You'll need that. That'll be perfect. I'll need that comfort. This is from Stephanie again. This is of the sji international school in singapore and this is a one-star review The best school I have ever been to the teachers were overwhelmingly supportive and knowledgeable and my classmates were also fantastic

However, the school deserves a one star because my crush Janelle rejected me because I was too nice Okay, what is that supposed to mean this really ruined the learning experience for me as she blocked me on whatsapp afterwards Great school though highly recommend end of review. Oh No, I love that. They're like she says I'm too nice anyway This is such an excellent and it really taught me so much. But I am gonna give it a one star because I got rejected. It's as nice as I am, I can't handle rejection and not getting what I want.

Not with my actions, yeah. But this got 48 thumbs up. Oh boy, look, look. Poor Janelle. Poor Jan Janelle number one. She's looking for a bad boy Yeah, definitely cuz this person is definitely the nice guy because Yeah, I had that face. I can't I can't deny it. I had that so worse. I don't I would never have done this I would never have put it out there like that And I would never get rejected You know why cuz I never asked anyone out because I just live in a state of rejection. Yeah. Yeah

But yeah, I was always like well, I'm too nice No, I just didn't have much of a personality Anyway, here's a one-star review that I found Anyway, here's a one-star review that I found. It's true! I have home videos of you. You had a fucking personality and it was annoying as shit. So don't even start with me. Okay, maybe that's what it was.

Sorry, I had too much of a personality. Let's be specific. My mistake. I'm sorry. This is of Our Lady of Fatima Catholic Academy. This is somewhere in Queens, I think. Who knows? Here we go. One star. Academy This is somewhere in Queens. I think who knows

Here we go one star This school sucks I used to be a troublemaker and never got punished good for me, but bad for the school end of review This person went on to date Janelle actually this bad boy. Oh my god. Oh my god She's finally found how that were bad boy boy Yeah, but it was like you have to know it's such a specific thing though Cuz like you have to find a bad boy at Catholic school So it's like yeah, they have to be good enough to be like not kicked out of Catholic school Like maybe they just wear their tie a little loose, you know, yeah, and they're always getting in trouble couldn't have been me. I Would just always my uniform was always your tie was a peck of oil and my mind don't worry

My shorts were always below my knees Also your tie was a clip-on so it was Dare you I Remember when when guys would forget there by the way we were uniforms folks well we'll definitely have that I was gonna say this is the episode where we'll have plenty to post on our nice uniformed pictures of yet state championships volleyball wait no that was just yeah I remember guys would come in and if they forgot their tie,

they would have to go to the office and get a clip-on tie and it was like so humiliating for them that they actually wore their ties and I was like, wow, this is actually really powerful because you're like, oh, that's okay, just wear this one. And now all of a sudden you're like the laughing stock. I always thought that was very effective, rule management, you know, like keeping people in line. I didn't know about that rule, or management, you know, like keeping people in line.

I didn't know about that rule, or I didn't know about the clip on ties. I just witnessed it from afar. This is from Ellie, she, her, and it's of Jesuit High School in Carmichael, California. Now, this one's interesting because it's a three star, and it's someone who seems like they might also be starting a petition soon. So this one makes me a little bit sad. Okay, here we go. Oh God, okay.

Not really, but it's like, oh buddy, okay. Three stars. My friend is going to the school. I thought he was going to go to the same high school as me, but I guess not. I'm not sure how the hell he's going to go since his twin sister can't go because Jesuit is an all boys school. This is absolutely not true. to go to the same high school as me, but I guess not. I'm not sure how the hell he's going to go since his twin sister can't go because Jesuit is an all-boys school. This is absolutely stupid.

His mom is forcing him to go. His passion is literally juggling oranges. Parentheses. I'm serious. It's not fair for him to have to go to the Catholic school not knowing anyone. He's too kind and innocent for that. I've never been to the school, so I'll give it three stars, but a note to the school, stop being so good. You're taking my best friend away. End of review. Wait, that's so sad, yeah. I know!

Oh, I was like, oh buddy. Oh my gosh, I hope they still stayed close or stayed in touch at least. I was sad when your best friend went to a different place like when Renee left school Left the entire nation left the continent. Yeah, I mean probably I was smart, but I was like take me with you. God damn it. Yeah Yeah, I just love I just love the idea that this kid this first of all juggler The juggling oranges kid seems to have no say in any of this

He's just going where his mom tells him to go My love like you want to look anywhere else I was like no she's like, okay Because I didn't hide. I don't know my friends were staying. We didn't know any better. God. I didn't even get the option man But yeah, I I feel like this kid is like, he's too precious, he's gonna get bullied, please. Let him stay with me, I'll protect him. But he acknowledges it's a good school. He's like, but stop being so good.

Stop being so good, yeah, true. So he knows his friend will be in a good spot overall, but taken away from where he belongs. Yeah. So will it actually be good for him? That's sad too, the twin. You can't separate twins. I thought that was illegal.

I think that's really illegal. And I also think it's really dangerous. Oh, yeah, the danger aspect. That's true. Like genetically? I don't know anything about twins, And I also think it's like really dangerous. Oh, yeah the danger aspect. That's true. I like genetically I don't know anything about twins, but everything I learned frightens me a little bit more, you know Yeah, exactly. That's how I feel and you're right to feel that way. Yeah, it's like it's like out of respect Of course respect. Oh, yeah, they're powers. It's like I don't think I'm supposed to look them in the eye

Yeah, yeah, it's like a fighter jet You're like don't fuck with me. Yeah, but like I'll let you have the air superiority that you have just leave me out of this That's how I feel about I was thinking more like something about a snake, but I guess Yeah Snakes are yeah, I think I Think maybe a combo of both. Flying snake. Oh, that can't be a snake on a plane, you mean? Yeah.

Yeah, that's what I meant. Like a snake who flies, who travels. I'm like, after you, sir. You can take my under, you can take, you can use the space under the seat in front of me. It's fine. You see them in seat 1A and you're like, oh man, you are somebody's Mr. Snake. I'm gonna move on this is okay a review

that I found of that same place Our Lady of Fatima Catholic Academy. One star. This is by Pabs the Punisher. My name is Pabs. Pabs Pendejo. I am here to tell you about the good things about this school. Well, tough there isn't any, only bad things. People get bullied because of race, ethnicity, appearance, and little things people shouldn't care about. The lunch is horrible. Just like race and ethnicity, those little things nobody cares about. But I, you're like twisting this child's words. No, I understand what they mean, but I'm like, yes, just little things like that. Yeah, okay, I see.

It's not like, oh, like the color of socks. Right, it'll be probably a bigger scale thing even outside of Catholic school. They are things that people shouldn't be bullied for however, they are very societal in society They are very it just feels like it goes beyond just your average Catholic school. Yeah. Yeah. Oh But they said and little things they weren't saying those are little okay Let me restart the color of your socks Yes, so people get bullied because of race, ethnicity,

appearance, and little things people shouldn't care about. The lunch is horrible, the principal is money hungry and doesn't care about life except her money. My friends were bullied and had to be taken out. So if you're thinking of bringing your child, you should. This school is good. Psych, you would have thought this school sucks a sack full of taters., you should. This school is good. Psych, you would have thought this school sucks a sack full of taters.

End of review. Whoa! Are you the kid who bullied your friends out of the school? It feels like you have quite a way with words. No, I think that was the final straw. And Pabbs. Oh, they've lost it. Pabbs Pendejo. By the way, Pendejo is capitalized.

So that's another nickname, but their account name is Pabs the Punisher. So I think they assumed this role of the Punisher. Oh, this is their villain origin story. Yes. Oh wow, that's gonna be really frightening. It's their only review, so who knows what happens. And it was seven years ago.

I hope they've moved on Me too. Me too. Geez. What if they're still there? What if that was like, oh god What if they were young enough where they're still there? That was a that was a I hope not second grader. Yeah um, I Have a review. Okay, so I only have redemptions left. I have two redemptions. This one is from Stephanie

and it's of Padua Franciscan High School. And this is a five-star review by Diane. Proud to say we had four children graduate from Padua and they are all happily married and a successful addition to their families and outstanding parents of a total of 11 children and overview. Oh God They're creating an army of God as the Lord intended I was like, oh I was like excited to hear what they were up to. Oh, they're making babies. Okay. Yeah, you heard what they're up to

Yeah, you heard what they're up to. Yeah. That's it. Yeah, they're making babies. Very, hey, very Catholic of them. So it makes sense. That review is in the right spot. Just following the Lord's way. The review is in the right spot. Yeah, totally fits.

Leave it at that. My next one is of, it's my last one. It's also a redemption. This is of West Catholic Preparatory High School in Philadelphia, sorry, West Philadelphia. Here we go, four stars. I really enjoyed attending school here. A few awesome lifelong friends

and a few all out brawls is what I remember. And of course we all remember Mr. Lay, he was always watching. End of review. What? I don't know. And then he turns and waves at Mr. Lay who's still watching.

Hello. He's still here. Oh, I mean it does weirdly fit the vibe. It was relatable. I wouldn't say we had brawls. We definitely were a very. No brawls. No, there was no fighting.

Like watching high school, watching media, like American media that took place in high schools, I barely believed it. I thought there's no way people fight. I was like, there's no way that really happens. And then, of course, with the rise of, I don believed it, I thought. There's no way people fight. I was like, there's no way that really happens. And then of course with the rise of, I don't know, TikTok and YouTube. You see all these clips and I'm like,

oh shit, this actually happens in real life. That's wild. Yeah, we were very sheltered in many ways. Very sheltered. Yeah, so I mean some other really, like stuff, I feel like we had like different Different fucked up stuff. Yeah, of course we had our own fucked up stuff Yeah, but yeah turns out so does everyone else and there's tended to be a lot more physical Than yeah, we had to deal with we had other kinds of trauma

So this is my last one. It is a redemption. This is a classic Christine style redemption, okay. Oh good. It's, you'll see why like in the first sentence. This is of St. Michael's school and this is I think in Ireland. Not even gonna, Berg Claire, I'm sure that's. Not even gonna- Burg Clare.

I'm sure that's not how you say it, but I'm just gonna say it that way, because it gets mentioned in the review. Five stars! I knew this school when it first opened. I was the 19th pupil to ever go there. I left in the summer of 1981, aged 16 years. I first went to the school when I was 12 years old in 1977. The name of the school in 1977 was Burg Claire Grants. Mr. George Gibbs was the owner and the head of the school back then, with Mr. Jim Hindmarsh as the headmaster, not

forgetting Mr. Neil Webster and some others, but alas it has been more than thirty three years and in the midst of time most names kind of get lost. He says after reciting first full first and last names of like multiple staff members from decades ago. I did after leaving the school go back for sports days and go see Mr. Gibbs on occasion. I had a lot of respect for Mr. Gibbs. He was a person I grew to realize was a person that really cared for the boys that were at his school.

I once heard him say, my boys have butter on their bread, to someone who had just delivered a big box of margarine. Huh? What does it mean? I don't know, but I'm not sure if you can tell that to anyone other than the margarine delivery person. Like, you know? He's been waiting for that. What does it mean? I don't know, but I'm not sure if you can tell that to anyone other than the Margarine

delivery person. He's been waiting for this moment. I feel like that's the only time you can say that or should say that. Maybe you shouldn't say that. I still don't really understand it. I still don't understand it, but it keeps going. I once heard him say, my boys have butter on their bread to someone who had just delivered a big box of margarine. He took one look at it and could not believe what his eyes were seeing.

It was at the time really very funny to see, but of course one did not say anything because it was a matter to behold. There is nothing wrong with a bit of butter and I still say that. Like what is happening? Wait, how did we get on this topic? I still say that. Like what is happening, Oxxyn? Wait, how did we get on this topic? I have no idea. I'm sorry, I just. Oxxyn, there's no way to get on the topic.

It was just, I once heard him say, and then all the butter stuff. Okay. Like is it because margarine is not butter, and so he was like upset that there's not, that they're delivering margarine instead of butter. Yeah, like he was standing up for his boys and being like they get butter on their bread That's not what they sound like in Ireland. I just that must be it that must be it

It was at the time really very funny to see but of course one did not say anything because it was a matter to behold There is nothing wrong with a bit of butter, and I still say that. Ah, anger, you can't get a better bit of butter on your bread. Fresh, still warm bread with a little bit of butter. These, now I like it. What? What?

What is right? I, huh? I see from the photo that the main house is still much the same, apart from some of the steps up to the windows are missing. One is left on the side of the house that I can see on the photo that the main house is still much the same apart from some of the steps up to the windows Are missing one is left on the side of the house that I can see on this photo Looking at the school from the air. What are you like flying around in a fucking? Helicopter in a fucking butter thing. I like what is with the book there half of this review has been about butter on bread

And now you're flying through the sky in a drone with a drone Yeah, it could be it could be a drone Probably just YouTube a drone some drone footage some drone footage that seems illegal to do that of a school weirdly I have seen drone footage of our high school. Oh me too for sure for sure And also people get married there all the time so, you know, there are constantly drones above it I mean, cause like for videos. I'm sorry, it was weird, but like when I got married in 2018, my photographer had a drone.

So I'm like, now I guarantee everybody has a fucking drone. And didn't like George Bush's, George W's daughter come talk to us once. So they had snipers on the roof. Yeah. Jenna, yeah, they had secret service and Renee kept whispering words that you're not supposed to say around Secret Service in times. Like, I like butter over margarine.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, Alexander, I think you mean my boys have butter on their bread. Oh, no, don't say that. That seems like, talk about like getting arrested by Secret Service, that feels illicit to say for some reason. If it's illegal, lock me up. Okay, Alexander. Let's see. Looking at the school from the air, I can see that a lot has changed

with the amount of buildings that are in the school grounds. When I left the school, there was the main house with a new extension on the side. I was playing on the first floor when it was being built, when I should not have been, so Mr. Gibbs came playing on the first floor when it was being built, when I should not have been, so Mr. Gibbs came up to the first floor to inspect it with the builder, and I started to move backwards,

and I fell down to the ground floor and knocked down a wall while falling. Is this a dream? No! First of all, how long is this review? What is happening? Why are we not- I'm halfway through. Of course, I was caught in a heap on the floor with most of the wall around me.

That wall was the then sports equipment room. I had to help rebuild the wall. I believe if you look you may see some of my finger marks in the beds of the bricks in the cement, unless of course the walls in there have now been plastered. Just thought I'd share that with you. The L-shaped schoolhouse and two Porter Cabin school buildings, of course the swimming pool and the front garden facing the right-hand side of the main house from the front door that is.

What is the main house now used for, I wonder? I really loved this school and miss that way of life. Childhood at this school was really very happy. I take my hat off to you Mr.. Gibbs You have always had my vote the school I'm aware was sold on in the 1990s and I'm told that mr. George Gibbs and mrs. Pat Gibbs have supported the school Will I get some answers that would be nice? Maybe some reviews will be posted so I can read some for myself. I'll write more another time end of review What answers I what were they what what questions were they asking?

Did I miss somebody get me out of this bricked up wall God I built in the gymnasium Oh my god, he's trapped or there he's trapped in there. I Could be Most likely. I don't think that's the most likely situation. I mean, after the butterbread situation, I've stopped trying to understand what's happening here. You're right.

Lock him up. He got locked up for that. True. Let's move on to my challenge. Thank you. Yay. That Catholic schools man. Thank you. Yay. That Catholic schools man.

We survived though. Yeah, I don't recommend sending your child to Catholic school. If you're listening to this podcast, you're like, look at them. They are siblings who get along. They are able to talk into a microphone. Success, right?

It's not worth it, don't do it. Hey, do you want all your children to become podcasters and then send them to capital school? Actually, yeah. We should, we are the, we are, yeah, no one's listening to this. I can't wait for my children to be like them, that's fair. Yeah, if you go through our alumni magazine,

are we listed? Absolutely not. Like, you know, people our alumni magazine, are we listed? Absolutely not. People who did cool sports things are listed, and people who went to the Peace Corps and did other important things are listed. But for some reason, they don't include podcast, career podcasters, which is super weird. But anyway, that should tell you all you need to know.

Yeah, that's everything. So just don't do it. ["Spring Day in the City"] My challenge was to find reviews written by celebrities. And I'm going to start with someone who Stephanie sent this in. And what? No. This is a review written by Jeff Bezos. No it's not. Yes. So Jeff Bezos has an Amazon account a public profile with a handful of reviews

of Amazon products. Shut up, okay. And most of them are very uninteresting. I mean, you and I always say he's a man of the people, so it does make sense. Classic, so true. He is just like us. And to prove that I'm going to read a five star review that he wrote. This was written

in 2006. This is of Tuscan dairy whole vitamin D milk, a gallon of it. Okay, this is his five star review of a gallon of milk ready? As a human, I love milk, right guys Don't we just love milk as a total human Zuckerberg here. That's that's what he'd write but here's what Jeff Bezos, but Here's what Jeff Bezos writes Longtime fan. I love milk so much that I've been drinking it since the day I was born

I don't think it was Tuscan though end of review That's his fucking review. That's his five-star review society fucking debutant moment of Coming out to society was about fucking milk. It was I don't think that's I don't know where you're getting all that but I don't know where you're getting all that, but. It just feels like he's trying to say, get a glimpse into my personal life. Get a glimpse in behind the curtain. What?

Because he wrote, wait, what? I feel like Jeff Bezos is like, oh, I'm just like everybody else. I'm super normal. This was written in 2006. You did not know who Jeff Bezos was in 2006. I don't think a lot of people did. Yeah, but he was like super wealthy already.

There's no way he wasn't, right? Probably. Yeah, sure. I guess 2006. No, he was not who he is now, though. No, 2006, you're right, you're right. That does change it, yeah. And like his review, his first one here is from 2000 I'm not reading it. Oh

I mean now he only drinks Gold leaf milk. So oh, yeah. See that's a thing He he maybe was even slightly relatable back then somehow. It's not crazy. I see now there was a time that he might have been His first review was of the film life is beautiful on DVD. I His first review was of the film Life is Beautiful on DVD. On DVD. I have no idea what this film is, but he loved it. He loved it. All his reviews are five stars, as they should be.

That would be really weird. That would be hilarious if he was like- Didn't have them all be all five star. Bitching about Amazon products. And now Zyla here sent a review, and this one's the one that I think the people wanted, okay? This is a five-star review of Handel's homemade ice cream in Boardman, Ohio. This is a five-star review. Do we know who it's by?

You will in a moment. Oh. I can't handle how good this stuff is. All right. All right. It's hard for me to get a handle on just how good this stuff is. It's hard for me to get a handle on just how good it is. It's like when I'm riding a bike with a beautiful girl on my handle bars. Or a boy.

Especially a boy. Oh crap, I need to stop admitting that out loud. It's like listening to Tchaikovsky or The Messiah by Handles. I want to drive you to Ohio and buy this for you, but my Handles are tired. But if you need to know which flavor to get, hopefully this review will lend you a Handle. What to get? Chocolate malt with caramel, ice cream flavor or shake, lemonade in summer. How to improve? Slightly lower prices and a more promotion of that particular flavor which is the best thing on the menu. The

original Handles is up in Austintown, a northwest burb of Youngstown. This location is nearly as good if a little smaller in the southeast burbs of the same city. The city where Handles, now a popular multi-state chain, was born. Most chains taste generic and crappy, even for ice cream. Cough Cold Stone, cough Dairy Queen. But Handles has never lost what makes it special. Wonderful homemade flavors and attention to detail. It's perfect.

I definitely have my favorite, and it's the heavenly chocolate malt with caramel flavor, which can be served as either the best ice cream or best shake you may ever have. Certainly the best I've ever had from a chain restaurant, although Cookout's fresh banana shake might protest. You also should try the excellent homemade lemonade in the summer, not available when it's cold, and anything else that takes your fancy, such as me. With its recognizable blue and white colors and an enormous number of chain locations now throughout the country, especially in Ohio and Pennsylvania, it's really cool to visit this, a location in the city that started it all,

with the wonderful tastes and dreamy, creamy products. Youngstown is an often forgotten part of the world, but it will always be home to Handel's, the best ice cream and milkshake chain in the country. When I'm famous, I will still get products from here, but I won't come and buy them myself. I'll have my handlers come here and buy them for me." End of review. That was good.

Good job, Fox. I was waiting for the button at the end. I know. That's why I read the whole thing, because I'm like, we'll just get some detail. You might kind of be like, OK, Fox, OK, Fox. But he always brings you back. He always does.

Yes. And that's the thing with Fox, too. Like, we say, okay Fox, but he always brings you back, he always does. Yes, and that's the thing with Fox too, like we say this every time, but he starts off like so cringy and like eye-rolly, like come on, and then he's like, okay, all kidding aside, here's the real deal. He knows how to write a review. And then he gives you like genuinely very helpful information. Like it's good for us because it's entertaining entertaining but it's actually good if you're looking for reviews of very Informative, you know like school of it's like a school of rock not school of rock. What's the one? I have no idea. Oh Schoolhouse rock that's the one. Yeah I feel like it's like that where it's entertaining and then you're like wait a minute now, I know All the best things to order. I know about the chain

I know about where it started, the suburb, where it began. I mean, I'll be honest, as a former Ohioan, I've never even heard of this place. Me neither. Okay, good to know. Because UDF has a fucking, has their handles all over Cincinnati, so. That's pretty good, huh?

OK. My next review. So we're ranking celebrities. Obviously Fox's top, like, most famous. Above Jeff Bezos. So Jeff Bezos, I think, will always remain at the bottom of this, because I don't. Yeah.

Yeah. I think celebrity is fair. I think it makes sense for this review, but uh-uh. I think celebrity is fair. I think it makes sense for this review, but uh-uh, I don't like it. Anyway, here, Jeff Bezos is a celebrity. I don't think he'll be ranked, he'll be at the bottom of the list. Oh, you do?

Like, what's the criteria? I meant how famous they are. Oh. So you're saying Fox is at the bottom here. I was being a little silly, like, okay, Fox is obviously the most famous celebrity so far. Oh, okay. At least in the context of our podcast.

Okay, I suppose Jeff Bezos might be at the top the entire time then. I don't want him to be, but if that's what you wanna do, that's what you wanna do. You wanna put Jeff Bezos on top, Christina? No, I said Fox is at the top. That's fine. Where have you been?

But then you just admitted that that was a joke, and you didn't mean it, and you think you should be at the very bottom. I didn't. OK. All right. You're right. I did say all of those things.

And it's too bad we can't ever find out if I actually did. I just have to take your word for it. There's no way to prove it. Do not hit rewind 15 seconds a few times. OK, my next one is a review that was sent in by Sarah. This was written by Sam Reich, who you probably don't know who he is, but I think you should,

and hopefully you will after this episode. He is the CEO of Dropout TV, formerly known as College Humor, and Dropout TV has some incredible shows. So he's a host of Game Changer, which have you heard of Game Changer? Game Changer. Most of what, and I think,

and he's like also part of pretty much like all their shows, I think. But Game Changer is one one of them it's like kind of like a panel game show where they have these comedians slash celebrities come on and they like it's a lot of like improv too in a lot of these shows it's really entertaining a lot of good content but yeah Game Changer is a big one. Dimension 20 is another one. If you're familiar with D20, it's like a, yeah. But it's like a bunch of improv comedy

and different panel shows with different things. Highly recommend, pretty much like everything I've ever watched from them. I'm gonna watch the episode with Tony Hawk, obviously. Yeah, and then there's Um, Actually actually which is like a game show where they Will it's like mostly mostly like pop culture or a lot of video games a lot of nerd stuff I've heard of um, so I especially like it but what they'll do is they'll read like a statement about say a video game and

There's something in the statement. That's wrong. and so the people have to buzz in and say, I'm actually, and then correct it, and they get points if they're right. There's a board game version that my friends and I, we played together, and it is so much fun. So yeah, it is so much fun. I highly recommend it, but yeah, that's really good. But yeah.

Yeah, and then there's Game Changer, which is absolute chaos, but fun. Yeah. When I Googled that, it came up with the sponsored recommendation was you can't say um, and you've said um four times in the last 10 seconds. So you lose my game that I picked to play. Oh yeah, I'm bad about that.

I say it too much. But I'll try to be better at this episode. And then a new one that I think is really funny is very important people and What they'll do is it's hosted by Vic Michaelis. I think is how you say it. I don't know and They like have a comedian on and they'll like put them up in some like Get up or like with face with makeup and like change their appearance fully and then they'll play this character and it's like an improvised interview

with this character that they've been made up and they don't know who they're gonna be I think you'd love it anyway sorry everyone I'm kind of just blabbing now but Sam Reich is a CEO of dropout TV and has a Yelp page so here's a a five star review that was written by Sam Reich. Is it of his own fucking board game? No, this is of Boulay. It's a fancy ass restaurant in New York. Oh Yelp, I was thinking Amazon, sorry. Yelp, okay.

Yeah, Yelp. Here we go. Five stars. Tantric sex, an 11 hour sleep. A four handed massage. And even these metaphors can't do Boulay justice. One enters Boulay to tiny little shelves and shelves of apples which are restocked daily. This must be what Willy Wonka had in mind with his wallpaper. The snozzberries taste like snozzberries. The dining room is deceptively cozy, deceptively, because it leaves you totally unprepared for the fanciness of the food. Such is the state

of fine dining that one expects it to come along with good posture, elbows off the table, and a sense of not belonging. It's usually silly to talk about bread at a restaurant like this, but at Boulay it's not silly at all. They have an in-house baker and bakery. You pick bread off the bread cart, which boasts over 40 kinds. This is borderline irresponsible, considering the rich meal you're about to eat, but it's impossible to resist. I picked a sourdough and walnut apricot. I asked the baker how he stays fit, and he described running around the bakery all day, every day, like an Olympian. He exuded fatigue and pride.

These tastes, comforting, like a sleeping bag. Food as cooked by the world's greatest grandmother. One imagines very long, very wise, very careful fingers. Simple as if the restaurant were attached to some old French farm. Abundant, like the farmer found a million dollars in the wall and decided to invest it. Highlights, a whole foie gras, served minimally.

Grade 5 Kobe beef, sliced thin and tasting like cotton candy. A chocolate souffle that would make Mr. Hershey blush. It's absurd that boule isn't mentioned in the same breath as Per Se or Eleven Madison. My meal was better here than at either of those two restaurants and five times as comfortable It is absolutely one of New York's best dining experiences and of review Holy shit if he pitches any of his TV shows like that. No wonder they keep getting Christina I know I was I read this I'm like, I'm not surprised. So yeah, that was powerful I'm gonna that makes me so fucking hungry dude

yeah the bread the sourdough bread cart with 40 different types of bread 40 could you imagine no and I feel really like beside myself like I want to does this place even still exist I know that it doesn't it does not not that I can really go to a fucking the chef now has something called boule at home so Has some I don't know what it is exactly is around your neighborhood with a bread cart like an Olympian. I Wish I think there's like oh he has a book coming out a book tour coming up And just as a shop where you can buy things and I think recipes.

So it's still in the game. Boulay, the chef. But yeah, anyway, Chef Boulay. That was powerful. My next one is also this one's also from Sarah. This is I have here what Sarah and I believe to be Chapel Rhone's Yelp page. No.

Yes. What? Chapel Rhone's Yelp page. Isn't that bizarre? Yes, 100%. Chapel Rhone's real name or birth name is Kaylee Rose Amstutz. So this is Kaylee A's Yelp page.

Come on. And according to Sarah, Sarah's like this lines up with the places, the locations line up with her. And dude, that's crazy. The thing is like, I want to believe it too, especially because it's just like a bunch of, and if for those who don't know, Chapel Rowan is, um, I mean, just look her up. Blowing up in the music scene right now. Listen, listen, listen, just open your ears to her and you'll understand why this is to me such a big thing. So yeah

Recommend checking out her music for sure I would be very surprised if you've avoided it until now like it's everywhere at the moment, but um Yeah, chapel ron chapel ron's uh, yelp page and yes, maybe she got famous so fast she hasn't had time to like go back and scrub all this shit from the internet. But that's the thing. And what I was about to say about wanting to believe this, I don't think there's anything

worth scrubbing here. Like I know, I would feel weird if I brought something and it was like super bad. I know that we already do that. But like, and I would have done that, I guess, if someone was like shitty bad. I know that we already do that but like and I would have done that I guess if someone was like shitty online like I don't know why might why would I protect Chapel Rowan from that and not some random stranger, but like no it's just like only one one-star review and it was About a very terrible experience that she had with her little sister

Where someone was like really not was treated her sister poorly so yeah but like even so I feel like typically somebody goes through and just deletes all that stuff just so true even there like I'm tempted to do it right now for everything that I've ever uploaded and just scrubbed literally everything and disappear from the world and it's not even because of Blowing up on the internet But yeah, so I'm just gonna read a review here. See that's the thing is they're all positive So I don't really know what to do. It's but I guess you get a nice recommendation

This is of L dollar Takaria L dollar L dollar takaria Delore that means pain. That is, yep, good to know. I'm glad I didn't say that. I have only recently started learning Spanish. Wait, me too. I mean, I learned it in high school, but I'm taking-

I did not. I'm learning Rosetta Stone Spanish. Are you as well? Nice. No, I got some Duolingo code or something code or something so I have not done any of it. We can do our next episode in Spanish. Let's not do that. Anyway this is in Lost Hills, California. It's a five-star review by Kaylee A, potentially Chapel Rome. This place is amazing. It's just off the highway and right by the gas station. Might look a little sketchy, but it's so good. I got chicken tacos and they were incredible. They were super cheap, but fresh and delicious and fast. End of review.

Oh, hell yeah. I'm just gonna do the Chapel Rhone road trip and just eat all the taco places. It's actually all over. Even went to to Big O tires in Glendale, California And I know that you had written a review of a tire place in California. It was not in Glendale No, but yeah You never sent it to me, but I know I tried to find it I I could not see that's how scrubbed from the internet apparently I am smart

But yeah, and so that was that that's that's how scrubbed from the internet apparently I am. Smart. But yeah, and so that was that. That's that celebrity. And then this last one is a little different, and it's my final. And this was from Amy Sheher, who says, y'all almost made me pee my pants at the live shows. Thanks for the laughs and the pick after the Seattle show.

So Amy, thanks for being there. And yeah, glad we could almost make you pee. That's what I'm always trying to get people empty themselves. Here is an article that Amy sent in. It's an Eater article and it's titled, Anthony Bourdain says elite Yelpers are bad for restaurants. So I don't know if we ever talked about this

because I'd be surprised if we hadn't, but I don't think we have. And it's an article and it was, Anthony Bourdain was basically reviewing Yelp reviewers. So I felt like it kind of fit. Like it was a review written by a celebrity. It happens to be a review about reviewers, but still I feel like it kind of fit like it was a review written by a celebrity it happens to be a review about reviewers But still I feel like it kind of counts Wow. Okay. Tell me more. So here is what

Anthony Bourdain had to say about Yelp elites There's really no worse or lower human being than an elite Yelper. They're universally loathed by chefs everywhere. They are the very picture of entitled negative energy. They're bad for chefs, they're bad for restaurants. You know, you open a restaurant, you struggle for a year to put together the money, you work your heart out, and then 10 minutes after opening, some miserable bastard is tweeting or yelping,

worst dinner ever." And of review. I will say, he had a lot more to say, but that was the most succinct review of Yelp reviewers. I mean, it feels a little bit narrow. Like, I'm sure, like I know this happens but I feel like Yelp elites like Fox skew very positive for the most part. There's of course nuance but I understand the energy. I understand it as well. I would be as

frustrated I believe if people just could bounce on in and then just like blab on the internet and have an effect on my livelihood Yeah, yeah, and I think that also I Would I think that it would be it's kind of a net negative, you know, yelp elite I would say net negative overall and sure we find some really positive ones But there's a reason why we mostly do negatives because those are more abundant and a lot wilder Oh more unhinged. Yeah a lot more unhinged, yeah. A lot more unhinged and entertaining, unfortunately,

but yeah, and there's a lot more of them. So I don't really blame them for that take. The selection of celebrities. I mean, you've got quite an array. It was surprising how possible this was. I got nervous. And I think when we originally scheduled it I said make it my my the later in the month because I would want it to be able to

find stuff and you wanted to like do your due diligence. Yeah. Yeah and people came through really because it's not easy to find but like I would never have found Chappell Rhone's fucking Yelp page. What the heck Sarah? That's impressive. Incredible work. That is like that's what I applaud you for that. Yeah Me me as well. So yeah, that was that was it. I thought that was surprisingly successful. I can't believe you even had infighting between our celebrities. You had Fox and Anthony Bourdain Yeah head to head, you know, they that they've been feuding they well they were feuding for years. I know RIP

RIP to Anthony Don't worry Fox is still alive and well, I was gonna say in case you don't haven't heard If anyone's like Fox As far as I can tell Fox is alive and, because when I go to live shows, live tours, I always look up what Fox has to say about different towns. So from what I can tell, he's still very much active. Good, good, good.

Yeah, but anyway. That was very good, Zandy. You did an excellent job. Thank you. It was fun. I guess I'm going to go take my antidepressants, which I forgot to take beforehand So oh, yeah, I took mine ahead of time I'm new it's new to me though. So hasn't really started working yet. I can't believe I can't believe Zandy that blaze sits here

With all my weird ass trophies just like he does his Lego set. So proud of you my weird Participation trophies are just lined up in the background this poor guy So proud of what 12 year old you accomplished on the volleyball court. Oh god Yeah, the day that they start getting replaced with Leona's trophies. I'm gonna throw such a fit Oh gosh, that's my special spot for all that's true. Yeah, just don't let her get any trophies. I Won't I don't think I'll have to work that hard if she has no genetics, but with Blaze's. I was going to say the problem is Blaze. Yeah, he actually might have.

Yeah, he actually has an athletic bone in his body, which is weird. Look at this. Remember this giant BOSU ball or whatever it's called? I mean. See, you didn't know what that was until Blaze, I'm sure, because what the fuck is a ball? I don't know what that is. Of course I knew what that because what the fuck is a- I don't know what that is. Of course I knew what that was. A BOSU ball? How is that a- is that a brand?

I still am not over that. No, it's- I think BOSU balls are the ones that are like half of one where you like bounce on it on the ground. Oh, is- When you're doing like a burpee. And that's what that was? I mean, this one- When I'm doing a burpee?

What? You just said when you're doing a burpee. Oh, I thought you just- I thought that was a full ball that you showed. It is, yeah, but I think like- So that's not a BOSU ball. Yes, they're also called that. Oh, it's a brand, okay. Yeah, it's just like a inflatable ball.

I don't know, what do you call it? An exercise ball. Balance ball, yeah, an exercise ball, sure. Okay, you and your fancy brand name exercise ball can go do your whatever I went to Catholic school and we got trained Trained to be excellent athletes. We just slid around on those little I Don't even know what they're called. Yeah, little trays with wheels

Yeah, those trees bumped into each other broke our fingers snapped our fingers in half Yeah, but it turns out those things on the side that are like handles You're supposed to put your fingers inside the hole so that you don't get your fingers squished Well, nobody fucking taught me that I know Right. I learned that as an adult and I thought why didn't I know that as a child? We can practice later. Yeah, I got a few here. Okay, I'm gonna go slide around on my floor.

Okay, I'm gonna go sit on my BOSU bowl. Okay, enjoy. Okay, bye. Bye. Beach to Sandy, Water to Wet is a Forever Dog Production, hosted and produced by Zandi and Christine Schieffer. Cover art by Courtney Aventura, theme music by Mavis White, executive produced by Zoe Applebaum. For Everdog Productions, it's Joe Silio, Alex Ramsey, and Brett Boehme.