Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 298: Reviews of Wisconsin Dells

Episode Date: August 14, 2024

We're still not totally sure what Wisconsin Dells is... Come see us in Chicago and St. Louis!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Ad-free listening and full video episodes! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Summer items available now! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thextinefiles Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Get a Best Buy gift card of up to $200 on select phone activations with major carriers. Visit your nearest Best Buy store today. Terms and conditions apply. Welcome to Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. Hello and welcome to Beach Two's Sandy Water Touette. Hello and welcome to Beach Two's Sandy Water Tuit. This is episode 298 and we will be reviewing, reading reviews of Wisconsin Dells.

Is that right? Uh, that's what I've been told. Oh, thank goodness. And your challenge was to find reviews of music stores in which the reviewer says they had to stop playing the instrument. That was a common refrain, get it? That seemed to be a common occurrence, so that one was easy-peasy, lemon-squeezy. I do know that you have some fumbles to address, is that right?

Yes, I do. So the other day on Facebook, someone posted about our DC show. We had a show in Philly and DC. They were both so much fun. We had a blast. And then someone on Facebook was like, I wonder if Zandy knew why people reacted so strongly, not negatively strongly, but strongly to the the review he read of a bridge. And I was like, I don't know why. Like in my head, and I read the comments and they said, oh yeah, he read a review of this bridge and linked the Francis Scott Key Bridge in Baltimore that had collapsed earlier this year, which before he went to that show I had forgotten about. I did not read a review of that bridge.

I read a review of the Francis Scott Key Memorial Bridge in DC that happens to have the like exact same name, but it's a lot less famous. So, of course, people assumed that I read one for the one in Baltimore. And the review mentioned bridges killing people. Yes. So, all of this stuff together, I was like, oh my God, in hindsight, if I had made that connection in my head, which I should have, if I'd made that connection to the bridge in Baltimore, where there was a tragedy earlier this year in March,

I would not have even brought that review. It would not have been something I read. I just completely spaced, especially being geographically so close to Baltimore. A lot of people came in from Maryland. So they're probably like, Oh, it's right nearby. So it was like, like it wasn't an issue. So they're probably like, oh, it's right nearby. Yeah, so it was like Like it wasn't an issue and no one was like upset. No one was saying I shouldn't have done anything But no, I completely like did not make that connection and In hindsight that review tied with that name of that bridge, it was not funny.

It's not like, like Dark Humor has its place. That was not Dark Humor. It was just not funny. Not on this show. Not, like I was thinking like, man, the night before I literally brought up 9-11 for no reason. Well, okay, there was a little bit of a reason, but like, I was like, okay, whatever.

But then this, I was like, man, that wasn't funny for what happened earlier this year. Like, oh my gosh. Oh, and to be clear, the review was written eight years ago. So it had nothing to do with- Oh, I was going to ask, so what is it about that collapse? Completely unrelated. No, it was just a completely- Oh, it just happened to sound extra eek. Yeah.

Got it. And like, I did not. And then so my like stomach like dropped when I realized that connection and oh man so yeah no I apologize I should not have brought that review given the circumstances given the name of the bridge given the content of the review like it was a bad idea it's about time one of us got cancelled so I'm super delighted you love talking about can't be getting cancelled huh not me and I will also add that now if you want to see what what this nonsense is all about what this review is all about You can probably join our patreon. Maybe we'll post it there. We're not going to

Know but it would be a fun call to action. Why don't you come check it out if you really want to know that? Oh, yeah, everybody this thing that I think was in really poor taste. Pay us money and then you can see it. That's a great plan. I think it's a good business plan but whatever. I'm glad you do but I'm glad but I'm gonna veto that one. But no, sincerely, that was in poor taste and not intentional but still shouldn shouldn't have done that. So, oh man, anyway, let's see what kind of nonsense we can get up to in Chicago and St. Louis coming up. Yeah, geez, what other fucking national tragedies can we exploit for media content?

Oh boy, I was gonna say, yeah, it wasn't even funny. It wasn't even worth it, you know? Like if I exploit any tragedy, I want it to at least be funny. I'm like kind of mad at the, I'll be honest be I'm kind of mad at the audience for not being like hey Well, how come left so I was wondering. Oh, I thought they were getting popcorn I've reviewed the Wisconsin Dells. This is her Megan. Do that. Should we say what the Wisconsin Dells is? We briefly talked about it recently idea what it is

You're starting it and you're not you're gonna make me to explain what this place is I mean, I wasn't even gonna explain it but you want to explain it. Go ahead Wisconsin Dells is a city in southern Wisconsin. It's a city and What have you been doing? Yeah I thought it was like a collection of locales It's it is like it's a tourist test. It's like Santa Claus, Indiana. Like just because they have a big theme park and whatever

doesn't mean it's also not a, not also a city, you know? Anyway, Wisconsin. Okay, no. Wisconsin, I think that made a lot of sense. Wisconsin Dells is a city. It's like saying the Ozarks. Like the Ozarks is a location. That's not a city. But like okay. That's what I thought it was. Like the Ozarks. That's a good example of where Monterey went. It's more like Santa Claus, Indiana.

Or like the Jersey Shore or something where you're like oh you go there for a certain thing but you don't. It's like comprised of different towns. But I did not realize this was a town. Yes, this is technically a city. It is known as the waterpark capital of the world. We recently read the review of Noah's Ark Waterpark, which was in Wisconsin Dalles, but basically it's a major tourist destination full of all sorts of stuff, including water parks. Yeah, there's camping, there's a lot of outdoor stuff,

there's water parks, there's like a big gift shop, I mean there's inflatable tubing rides. River tours, yeah a lot of river stuff. Crafting, all sorts of stuff. Mini golf go-karts. It's like the classic American like tourist summer family like what you would think of when you go on a family vacation. So it just basically has a bunch of wild stuff that people feel strongly about. To be clear, I still don't, I do, I get it, but before this episode I had no idea what that was, what Wisconsin Dells was. I mean, there were people commenting when we talked about Noah's Ark Waterpark being like, it never occurred to me that that is a biblical reference.

Because they grew up with it. And so in their rhymes, they're like, I never even thought about the name. It just rhymes and it's like catchy. But because I thought this was gonna be like a religious themed water park. And they were like, nope, there's none of that really. It's not necessarily.

Like us going to woodland altars as a child for me and was my mind and I was like when I was older I realized it was religious because yeah alters is a LTA are like like an altar I literally realize is religious because everything was religious of course yeah everything back then was so anyway Wisconsin Dells we are both I am with you I don't totally get it I mean your assassination in Wisconsin it sounds like an oxymoron fun oh I mean also another oxymoron it sounds like fun no it sounds like fun except for we're gonna read one serve you so yeah it's not gonna paint them nicest picture this

is a review from sent in by Megan She hurt it's of the Sherwood forest camping and RV park and This is a one-star review by William It was an awful experience So bad, we left the day we showed up We just went home when my wife was checking, I saw a 10-year-old kid poop in a flower pot outside of the arcade, and that pretty much sums up our trip. The cabin was disgusting. It smelled like bed bugs. Okay, sorry.

You went past that and you thought, okay, I wonder if it gets better. I guess you think it can't get any worse after witnessing that. Yeah, and to say, oh, that sums up our experience. Anyway, we kept it going. Oh, boy. But also, it smelled like bed bugs. Oh, yeah, I didn't. Oh, is that what they said? In my head, I separated it as it smelled

and there were bed bugs. No, it says, the cabin was disgusting. It smelled like bed bugs. And there was a literal 25 year old car freshener hanging from the ceiling fan. That's hilarious. But you should have checked because that might have been the bed bugs sent. Yeah which are they thinking like mothballs like I don't know what the fuck they do. Maybe. Their job is to sniff out bed bugs. Hey that's Hey, that'd be something. It's like those people who can smell cancers and things Oh, well, there is a German Shepherd in the profile picture. Oh, that must be could it be a canine? It's either very a very smart

German Shepherd yeah That's the only thing that makes sense. Maybe the ten-year-old kid pooping in a flower pot was also a dog that explains a lot, too Okay, there was a 25 year old car freshener hanging from the fan The faux wood paneling was bubbling from what I would guess is mold We came here with a baby and I tell you we ran into an inconvenience at every turn This was not us coming unprepared. This was us showing up to a place and feeling like we got scammed end of review Oh, they didn't go into any details about the babe They'll tell us about the kid pooping in the flower pot and then just say

inconveniences Well to be fair, their baby got. That could be helpful to tell people about. I mean, I think everyone's got the message. Not to repeat what they said, but that sums up. Babies got places to poop? What's wrong with that? Sums up the experience.

It doesn't matter if you have a baby or not. If the faux wood paneling is bubbling. Don't really know what that means. I don't either. No matter if mold bubbles or causes means. I don't either bubbles Uh or causes that but I will say this person also seems to know a lot about the smell of bed bugs How mold looks on a wood panel? Like you seem they seem really well versed in this kind of thing. Is there a thing?

Like secret shopper but for hotels where they go and check into hotels. I'm sure there is test it out Oh, i'm sure there is. Test it out. Oh, I'm sure there is. They're like, here, bring this baby. Yeah. See what happens. I feel like that air freshener, though, it's a nice mobile. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I think that's a great.

So far, I haven't heard anything that would be a problem for the baby, except for the mold and potentially bed bugs. But it's only their scent. We haven't heard anything that would be a problem for the baby except for the mold and Potentially bed bugs, but it's only their scent not we haven't gotten comfort You can't just be like it smells like bed bugs. Yeah, I think you have to say there are either bed bugs or there aren't You're right. You're right Like it's not an in-between. Maybe there are bed bugs if there are bed bugs or bed bugs I'm saying kind of I think there might be bed bugs. I feel like that should be something I can it's not a far leap I would say I'm not gonna say this place has bed bugs

We don't know that but it feels like if if it if it is as bad as this person saying I don't think I care whether or not the bed bugs are just scented or like actively you got me there biting people Look hearing this. I don't want to travel here to this place. Don't get me wrong. I'm I'm just saying I'm just saying. My first thing is from Stephanie, and this will give a slight insight into Wisconsin Dalles or at least what one cool cruiser thinks of Wisconsin. Oh, no. Here is a post. And it's sorry, it's a comment from 2008 under a post the original post is titled here it is boys and girls new dot dot dot new dress code

so there's a new dress code and it's in the Carnival Cruise Lines subforum so this is a comment so there was a comment on there there's a dress code on these cruises now at least in 2008. Here is a comment about the dress code. Here we go. I am a 31 year old woman and I personally think that this is ridiculous. If people can't find a few nice outfits to wear, they shouldn't be cruising. I hear people complain about dressing up and I can't believe it.

It's a vacation and I always feel like for dinner, you should dress up. I think it's crazy that Carnival will allow jeans or shorts in the dining room. I would never wear them in there and I think people should be embarrassed to wear them to dinner. People should dress up.

It's not Wisconsin Dells. End of comment. I forgot we were even talking about what's guzzled. That was such a funny snap back to what we were on the topic at hand. That's how I felt reading this comment. I'm like, Stephanie, what is this? What are you sending me?

Oh, that's hilarious. I was like, this is so random. And then it's literally the last two words. So that was eight years ago. Or no, sorry, the other one. 16 years ago. 16? 2008. Holy shit, so this person is now like probably elderly, right? They're 46. I'm joking everybody, I know. 47, but yeah. In their 40s. Hmm. This person's elderly. 47, Christina, calm down.

Although when you think like, wow, someone in 2008 was 31, you're like, whoa. I was 15. I mean, I'm 33. So I'm like trying to, I'm trying to put myself in that position, but like, God, I don't want to ever dress up ever for anything ever again. You know, I just can't understand why you would be so

like pressed about this. Like who cares? And not even about what you have to wear but what other people are wearing. Yeah. Who gives a shit? Also like don't you look better when everyone else is like looks like a slob? Like why are you even complaining? You're gonna look like next level. I guess you just wanna be around this chic environment, in which case I would suggest you don't go on a Carnival cruise.

Ha ha! Nailed it. Just kidding, I've never been on a cruise, let alone a Carnival cruise. I have no fucking clue. I'm not making any judgment calls, except that from what I have heard about cruises, they're just supposed to be fun, let loose like have a good time with your friends and family

why are you so whatever whatever when when they said it's a vacation I'm like yeah it's a vacation bring some pantyhose like oh my god I'd rather cry that's terrible I'm definitely a comfort dresser. I mean, our family made us dress up on trips for some dinners, and it's not a fun part of it. It was my least favorite part. It was the least favorite. And I still don't pack nice things to wear places, because if I can't wear a t-shirt and jeans, usually I don't want to be there.

Yeah, and what am I going to do? Iron it? Fuck off. And sometimes I do, like weddings are one thing. I'm gonna go to a wedding and dress up as appropriate to the wedding Party I get it. Yeah, but I'm not gonna sit there and be like How can you dinner on a cruise? I yeah can just wear jeans, please. Then again, we're not cruise people. I guess we don't know We're not cool cru. I guess we don't know. We're not cool cruisers. Darn.

Someday. This is from Stephanie also. It's of Aloha Beach Resort and Suites. Aloha. What is it? It's Wisconsin. Oh my god, Christina. Get it together.

I forgot we're in Wisconsin Dells. Like, what are you doing? I was like, oh. You're like, what's I was thinking. What's so funny about Aloha, Christina? Like what? Everything. Everything and nothing all at once. This review is from TripAdvisor.

It's two stars by Katie. And the title is Poop-Covered Beach Grass and Lake Inflatables. Our motel room. Wait, I guess I'll find out. I can't tell what's poop covered all of it? Some of it? All of it. Okay, keep going. Our motel room is clean, but the toilet doesn't flush unless you hold down the handle and the sink doesn't drain. The beach and grass areas are covered in goose poop. Now, do you believe that was misleading?

Because I do. Very. Yeah, okay. Very. I also agree because when you say something is poop covered I'm not thinking goose poop. Jump into the worst immediate. Exactly. Yeah The beach and grass areas are- I'm thinking that child who is pooping in the flower pot. Same because I thought well It sounds like this is an epidemic in this area, you know The beach and grass areas are covered in goose poop We stayed for four days and did not see anyone cleaning up the goose poop. First of all, be the change you wish to see in the world.

That's what I would like to say to Katie at this very moment. Why are you waiting for someone else to do it? Is this a private beach? Like, is this their, like, the Aloha beach? I don't know how this works. I don't know. The inflatables in the lake are fun, but at night they are

invaded by seagulls. Literally over a couple hundred birds cover them in poop every single night. It's like some sinister plot, I mean. And they sit on the edge the next day watching tourists use them just thinking, sitting in my poop, I love it. All right, Charlie, eat up, we've got big plans tonight. Literally over a couple hundred birds cover them in poop every single night and not a single employee scares them away or cleans off the inflatables in the morning. And people aren't allowed to use swim shoes on the poop covered water inflatables.

This is our third year staying here and the price has increased each year. We decided that we will not be staying at Aloha Beach next year. It is too expensive and the grounds are just not clean. End of review. Hey, look, I don't blame them. Doesn't sound great. No, no.

I mean, as far as all the other issues go, I'd prefer goose poop outside as opposed to like bed bugs and or Yeah for sure mold inside Because at least goose poop is where it belongs which is Yeah, that's the thing with nature is if nature is gonna be in nature You kind of just have to deal with the fact that it's nature You know nature be nature in nature be wild and however we want to put it, it's out of our control.

And I know, you know, the hubris to think we control goose poop and have any agency over it is just laughable, really. It's laughable. That's why we're laughing so hard. Especially in such a lawless place as Wisconsin Dells. I mean it's kind of like a cruise. It's it's What do you call it when you're on the water and there's no more laws? It's Maritime you know it's maritime law. It's maritime law for all these goose geese and seagulls

What are you gonna? Do they bird law's bird law and they own the sky. You do not. You do not, reviewer. My next one's from Brad who says, I don't have too much experience with Wisconsin Dells. The only one I do have is on a cross-country trip with my girlfriend. We were looking to get a smashed penny

from one of those machines you crank and it imprints pictures on them from every state. And when going through Wisconsin, we found one at a pizza place that was located in a dark basement score. I will say it's one of my favorites in the collection right next to our one from a random Bass Pro shop in Indiana, but Hey, that's just my two cents. Brad, that got me. I'm sorry.

I mean, you just witnessed in real time my brain malfunction. Wow. Brad outdid himself. I read that and I was like, even if I'm not gonna bring one of these reviews, I feel like I still need to bring that email. I just feel like I got slapped upside the head.

I was just totally shocked by that. Wow, good one, Brad. Good one. Props. That one got me too. Props to you. So here is a review of a place called Wizard Quest. This place looks, I don't know how to describe it, so I'm gonna read what the official Wisconsin Dells website says about it. Oh thank God. Don't worry. The nation's first team-building fantasy game, Wizard Quest is the leader in computer interactive games

played in a live setting. It's a 30,000 square foot fantasy themed labyrinth and you can choose from many different quests of varying difficulties and start exploring. Traverse through the quadrosphere, making your way around fire, water, earth and air realms. Fantastical creatures dwell here overseen by many wizards. It's like an escape room?

No, it's like, you can see, like, they have like some crazy, like, really like wild interactive looking, like, it looks like Meow Wolf. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, like an immersive like exhibit, but it's like fantasy land. It's like fantasy. Yeah, so they have all these weird fantasy rooms

with all these things. Like little bridges. And there's a picture of someone with like a tablet. So I assume that's part of the game and the puzzle. So there are puzzles, riddles, hidden passages. Oh, that's cool. So it's like, it feels like a fantasy escape room, but without like being as, I don't know, it seems like more

adventure oriented. Yeah, different structure. Thank you. Okay. So I'm going to read a review here. This is a one star review of Wizard Quest. Not a fan for us 50 plusers. While the quests themselves were fun, there's one quest where you have to slide down a curved piece of plywood. And for someone with a bad back, there was no warning. Husband hurt his hand on it. I'm limping through the rest of Wisconsin Dells.

Should be asked if you have any health problems and told to avoid certain quests. Lots of very narrow, deep stairs. Front desk wasn't very friendly, could have been more personable for what we paid Just letting people know for kids with gummy bones great Hobbling back to the hotel for an ice pack and for Advil and All right. Well clearly dangerous. You're not fucking cut out for even for any sort of wizard quest I feel like if you're going to place called wizard quest and you're like, oh, I got a splinter, like, come on. I, when they said a curved piece of plywood, I will say the curved piece of plywood

for the pictures I've seen, I'm like, are they talking about a slide? And they're just making it seem like they just put a piece of plywood down. I feel like they are not presenting this well I mean but I have a bad back well then don't try to save the fantasy land or whatever the quest is if you're gonna try and step up to be a hero at the Wizards quest then like you better come prepared what if they were the villain you don't even know we don't

know they're not good either they're not good at either one Elxander they're back Then like you better come prepared. What if they were the villain? You don't even know we don't know They're not good at either one Elxander. They're back at home with an anvil crying like Jesus if you're gonna try and like step it up and like save the day or whatever again I don't have any clue what the point is but like You know, I don't feel bad for you. You went to a place called Wizard Quest, and you said, ow, it hurt. Well, you know what? You're clearly not here to be the next Legolas. Tell him. Legolas is not a wizard.

I didn't say he was a wizard. Okay, sorry. You were talking about, you said Wizard Quest, and then brought up Legolas. Yeah, Gandalf is, what are you gonna tell Gandalf? I think a splinter like what the fuck do you think he cares Sorry, I needed a way to channel my anger today and this this became it Expectedly what is this in this injured 50 year old who has a bad back? Yeah. Yeah, I mean It's like, you know

Yeah, I mean it's it's like, you know It's like if I'm like I'm gonna go to the the BMX The BMX Famously wizards are known for going down slide different thing. I'm like, oh, I have a pimple on my butt Why didn't you warn me? It's like well, then don't go to BMX, right? Okay, got it. Gandalf is not gonna feel sorry for you. He's gonna just like Zap you with his big rod. Look, I'd like to think... Oh, okay.

Yeah, true. I'd like to think they have... Sorry, that's Wizard Quest After Dark. I forgot to specify. Well, yeah, if you're 50 plus, that's the one you should be going to. They're open till 11 p.m., that's crazy. But no, I'm curious, because I would like to think they have some more accessible ones for people, either with injuries or disabilities,

in order to be a wizard. And I wanna be clear, I'm not gonna be sliding down E. Plywood, and my back also hurts. I'm not saying, wow, I'm perfectly capable of this, I'm just like, you know what, you go to to a place like wizard quest where you're gonna save the entire galaxy. I'm sorry what do you expect? Save the galaxy. You can't save a ring or I like I don't know what you're doing but it seems like you probably should. I just love hearing you say all

this when I'm like looking at these weird photos from this place. I mean I looked at photos too. I just saw a lot of toadstools and it really wasn't... Creepy turtles and ogres. The ogres are really unsettling. Like I'd be more psychologically, I think, weakened. Like I think I would be vulnerable in other ways. You would write a one-star review complaining about how it weakened you emotionally. They should have warned me. They should have warned you about the emotional turmoil that you'd be going through.

Fair, yes, yeah, that makes sense. That's why I'll be at the BMX quest. BMX quest? Christina, no, your butt pimples, you can't. Are you serious? I know, I'm warning you. They didn't warn you, but I'll warn you. Your butt pimples are not gonna be comfortable

So I can't play in the big game Big BMX game. No, I'm so sorry Christina, I'm sorry coach coach told me you got my dad proud and he's not gonna be proud now Yeah, sorry for 20 years That BMX accident when but pimples acted up halfway through the race. I remember I Remember I was there Neutrophil is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement with over 1 million people seeing thicker, stronger, faster growing hair with less shedding. You can probably, uh, Alexander, see my mane, my beautiful mane. My hair.

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Enjoy the number one feeling, winning, in an exciting live dealer studio, exclusively on FanDuel Casino. Where winning is undefeated. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. This is a review. It was sent to me by Jess Sheher and it's of a place called Ghost Outpost

Haunted House Attraction. You can look this up. Ghost what? Look up the name. Ghost what? Ghost Outpost. Oh, I think it said Ghost Out House. Ghost Out House.

Talking about haunted. Yeah, they just have like a porta potty and they're like, enter at your own risk. So it's called the Ghost Outpost and it's a haunted house attraction. port-a-potty and they're like, ooh, enter at your own risk. So it's called the Ghost Outpost and it's a haunted house attraction, like a jumpscare. 17 chambers, it looks like someone's home that they turn into a haunted house. So here's a review, it's One Star by Marie.

It comes with a photo. Let me get the screenshot of this one. There's so many children in these photos so There's no children in this one one start We went through ghost outposts in a group with an eight-year-old who wasn't even scared His only expression seemed to be cool at a hallway of glow-in-the-dark skeletons There wasn't anything scary or unique about this place. Just a bunch of wax figures in turmoil.

When objects, nothing original or unique. Like you just were running around with wax figures in turmoil day in, day out. Like, what do you mean? Is that normal? Yeah, they work at the fucking Madame Tussauds. I guess. What else can you possibly have to explain yourself?

That's just nothing scary or unique. Also, like wax figures. You're getting fired from your job. Yeah, I know. Well, you'll see in a moment. I have a picture of one. Like wax figures in turmoil is inherently scary. You can't convince me otherwise. Like you can't say there's nothing scary, just this. Agreed. I'm with you.

When objects popped out instead of being startled, I was more interested in examining the primitive mechanics used to create the illusion or lack thereof. One fearsome display featured a hillbilly vomiting into a trash can. How is that terrifying? I see that all the time in Cincinnati. This is where I send you the photo. It's like so stupid. Oh my gosh. It's literally upsetting. It looks like a person, I think it's a wax figure, vomiting into a garbage can and it looks like a person.

It looks like they just took a- Turmoil is right. Turmoil indeed. When you said what kind of turmoil, I was like, trust me, we'll get there. It's not wrong. It looks like Cincinnati, if that's any help, to determine the level of scariness, It's not wrong. It looks like Cincinnati, if that's any help,

to determine the level of scariness, which I would argue is pretty darn high. The last line just says, unless you like paying $8 to walk through a dark hallway with sharp corners banging up your elbows and knees, it's best to avoid ghost outpost. I can see why this wouldn't be enjoyable, but I feel like they use the wrong angle. To say it's not scary, I'm like, it is scary,

just maybe not in the way you had hoped. It's scary in a lot of other ways. Yeah, it's disturbing. Again, psychological waiver needs to be signed before entering. Yeah, and I think they should maybe set the expectations a little better with it being called maybe hillbilly vomit outpost or wax figure turmoil outpost.

No, ghost outhouse. Ghost outhouse, see that I would be- It's none of your business what he's doing in the bathroom. You've just invaded his space. If he's thrown up like that, hey. He ate a bad shrimp and you're just watching. You know what you're walking into in the ghost outhouse. You're the fucking freak now, get out of here. You're the fucking freak, what you're walking into it. Yeah, you're the fucking freak now get out of here

So true oh my gosh My next one here is of a music venue crystal grand music theater ooh This was sent in by Annika And yeah, it's a 2000 seed performance venue showcasing national musicians, comedians, and family shows. So they had all sorts of stuff. We're at our invitation, but Scott lost his nail. 2000 seeder.

Yeah, we're, I was going to say we are regularly selling out 2000 seeders. Easy, no problem. Wisconsin Dalles, maybe. We'll probably not. Here's a review. This was written about an evening where the reviewer went to see Newsboys. Have you heard of Newsboys? I sure have. Really? What do you know about them? Oh no, I thought this was like a musical, no? No, this is, isn't that Newsies? Oh,

Newsies, yes. I kind of thought that's what you meant and I was like, I'm just gonna let it slide. No, this is Newsboys, which is a Christian rock band from Australia, now based in Nashville, Tennessee. First of all, fuck you putting me on the spot. Oh, you've heard of them? Tell me what you know. No, I sincerely was like, oh, okay, she's like hurt because they seem very famous. Like I'm not, I wasn't,

I sincerely thought you knew about them. I just looked them up. Wow, they are something. They are something. They're a Christian rock band. It's kind of exactly. They look exactly like you'd expect a Christian rock band to look like. I haven't listened to their music, but they've gotten a lot of success. I love this. And what? People also ask, which newsboy is an atheist?

Oh, is that anything good thing. I guess Renounced Christianity and declared for remember an atheist Wow, oh my god. Wait. Oh my god. They were the VeggieTales movie. No wonder I've heard of them. No way Okay. So yeah, anyway, they've been around since 1985. So they've been they are God the Christian rock band if you ask me 1985 so they've been they are the Christian rock band if you ask me Here's a two-star review of the Crystal Grand Music Theatre after they hosted Newsboys and this was five years ago. Here we go The Newsboys were so loud we thought our hearing was permanently damaged. We left before intermission There is absolutely no reason God's music needs to be played that loud and oh my god turn down the volume I tried to save the Wizarding World earlier today and now I'm at this loud and my ears are hurting I need another

Advil I love how they're like the devil's music is very loud this is God's music it should be very yeah they're encroaching on on the devil's music is very loud. This is God's music. It should be very You know encroaching on on the devil's music like leave that to the devil. Let him be loud Let rock and let Nirvana hurt everyone's ears. They deserve it. Not mine. Not my good Christian ears They're so delicate the the owner did respond I'm not gonna read it's quick, but they basically said that the artist has the control of the volume not them and So yeah, they're like, what are we gonna do about it?

And they said that they do offer earplugs, which hey, I recommend I fucking have my earplugs everywhere. I go I do too now those come in handy, man I gotta say folks if you have any sensory like whatever we were just at Sesame Place and it was great but at a certain point Leona and I were both and blaze we're all like they have actually like sensory rooms where you can go in and like decompress but yeah we all brought our little headphone or earplugs. I was like this is a lot. When I go to trivia night like at the bar I put them in. And it's all that droning background to where it's like harder to hear people around you unless you wear earplugs.

Yeah. So anyway, I highly recommend for your health. This goes to show I am that old person I believe I am. I'm not trying to say, wow, you're such a fucking old. I'm just saying, listen, is anyone surprised that a rock concert is loud, that a weird immersive wizard quest has a slide, you know, come on. No, I know, I think blaming the venue for being a music venue, you know, it's just like,

you should expect- For a rock show, they literally said they're a rock band. Like whether they're Christian or not, I mean, I'm sorry, it shouldn't be that shocking. Go see Rafi. I'll come prepared or just ask someone for earplugs. You know, it's like, yeah, yeah, go see Rafi. Rafi fucking shreds though.

Don't go see Rafi. I don't need the Christians getting in on that. Leave Rafi out of it. Is Rafi alive? Yeah. Yeah, follow him on Twitter. This is a review sent in by Stephanie Shide and it's of, let's just like take a quick tonal shift. This is a review of Cruz and Chubby's Gentleman's Club. Wait, did I have a review of that? No, you just, I saw it on your Find My Friends,

you were there recently. Oh, that's what it was. I was like, I that? No, you just, I saw it on your Find My Friends, you were there recently. Oh, that's what it was. I was like, I had such a great experience there that I was like, no, okay. Are the initials of who wrote this JA? No. Okay, good. Wow, we have multiple of this?

Yes. Was it also from Stephanie? Yes. Oh, okay. That does make more sense, because I was like, is this like a-? Yes. Oh, OK. That does make more sense, because I was like, is this like a, like a, what do you call it, an institution at the Wisconsin Dells, or is this just Stephanie found it? OK, this is a one star review by Wayne.

The insecurity guard kept interrupting the conversation I was having with one of the dancers. I don't know if she was his sister or his mom or what, but when he came back the second time, I just left without buying a dance. I didn't come here to talk to other dudes, but I guess the guy working was cruising for my chubby. Not worth the door charge, end of review. Not worth the door charge. End of review. So. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. He was presumably protecting this dancer. I mean, that's the vibe I got. From you and your thought was, hmm, he's cruising for my chubby. He's into me. He's into me. Which tells you everything you need to know

because clearly this person cannot pick up on hints from the dancer or from this man. You know, it's like both, both completely hints from the dancer. Oh yeah. You know, it's like both completely misread the situation most likely. Yeah, it feels like you could really take this as a learning moment. Like, oh, this guy's way in my personal space. He must be attracted to me. It's like, okay, can you maybe think about flip that and be like, oh, I feel like maybe I'm attracted to this dancer.

I'm in her personal space. I don't know. It's just a thought because I feel like the security guard coming over multiple times to me usually signifies that like he's putting up a boundary between you and the dancer, but I wasn't there. So I don't know. Maybe he was cruising for your chubby, but I was there Oh, that's right. You were there. That's true. That's true. I didn't see anyone including the dancers cruising for anyone's chubbies Yeah, I that honestly I wholeheartedly believe that over which I think is generally what happened. That's usually how it goes I think people there are not like looking for love right like yeah, they're working so There are not like looking for love right like yeah, they're working So before I have that review though, I do have a review of also from Stephanie of the Wisconsin dolls

gentlemen's club Fun clever it is kind of fun and clever. Here's a one-star review. That's what Daniel has to say If there were less stars, I would left them for less stars. Raunchy, angry women, you had two strippers at the bar kissing each other and acting inappropriately. There was one half decent woman there. That's disgusting! Make it stop!

Literally the number of- I'm trying to get my chubby up. I'm trying to get- Oh, that's the other place. Like, holy shit, I'm sorry. The number ofubby up. I'm trying to get... Oh wait, that's the other place. Like, holy shit, I'm sorry. The number of, like, you can't win. The number of people who'd be like, you know, who'd want that to be happening and be like turned on by that

and now this guy being like, that's so inappropriate. It's like, wait a minute. What the fuck do you even want? It makes no sense. God damn it. There was one half decent woman there. One of them tried to put a hex on us. They were rude at the bar and you got a feeling that they didn't want you in there.

Yeah, cause she just put a fucking hex on you. Obviously she doesn't want you to be there. Read the fucking room. This is probably that same reviewer who then went to... It sounds like it. I'm getting mad. They were rude at the bar and you got a feeling that they didn't want you in there. Really a bad place to go. Do not go to cruise and chubbies so much better to see a professionally run organization There's no sorcery or witchcraft happening in that establishment

Alexander What does that matter with you? Is she put a hex on us? That's the funniest thing I ever heard. It's not great I hope it says to making out and they're like hang on. I gotta put a hex on us that's the funniest thing I ever heard. Isn't that great? I hope it says two making out and they're like hang on I gotta put a hex on this guy. Or that was the hex. This person was probably told by parents that's witchcraft. Yeah you see gay people or you see any homosexual acts? Witchcraft. yikes. That's the stuff of the devil. Yikes. Yikes. So here is a review, this was sent in by Jess Sheher, and it's of the town of Baraboo, Wisconsin.

Oh, so not Wisconsin. Well, I don't know. I mean, that's why I thought it was part of multiple cities, but I guess I'm totally wrong on that Yeah, honestly, I was there until just now that didn't even occur to me I just assumed this was part of Wisconsin Dells, but obviously not if it's I mean it could be like I mean like part of What's it called? Bear? What? Baraboo, how could you forget that? bar a B o o

My god, sorry. Fun fact from City of Baraboo website. Baraboo is most often as circus city. Circuit city? Didn't they go bankrupt? It's in a dilapidated old circuit city. There's a radio shack on the other side of the block. You just have to go enjoy yourself

it's often known at most often known as Circus City for several reasons not just for the fact that the Ringling Brothers called Baraboo home and had their winter quarters here through 1918 in 1884 the Ringling Brothers gave their first official circus performance okay and then they're like not only for those reasons but it's's the only one we have What got it? Um, there is the airport near both of those places called the baraboo wisconsin dells airport Yes, i've heard of i've like heard of the town like I feel like it's uh Like people go Yeah, it they're right by each other and yeah, they are different towns but they, but I just looked at Baraboo on Google

Maps and so many circus stuff and a lot of attractions. I'm going to hit hot topics. Similar vibe. Oh, that's weird. They have hot topics there? Yeah, in the old King Toys R Us that has been next to the Kmart and the Circuit City in the Sears. No, I hit, there's literally a section on their website called Hot Topics. And if you...

Tell me the goss. Okay, there's one thing on it. And it says, Citywide Trick or Treat, Monday, October 31st. Now I'm going to check real. What day Halloween is this year? Hang on the check it is on a Thursday. So I don't particularly know When this is last updated it does feel like it once was a hot topic It just feels like maybe now it's not relevant anymore. It's cool down a bit I did also click events in Baraboo area and for some reason it's... Something crazy must have happened that Halloween though maybe.

It's yeah well events in Baraboo is completely crickets empty. That's not a bullet point. Not a single thing listed. After the incident on Halloween at the ghost outhouse you know. Oh my lord. Yeah. The town will never be the same. I just love this show that we do because it's like, why would I ever be on, sometimes I'll run up to go pee and then I come back and I'm closing all my tabs and every tab is a surprise, like a jump scare from whatever we talked about

a few hours ago. So true. Relatable. It's just like the most, I'm looking now at the swing dance at Devil's Lake State Park swing dance in the Baraboo events Yeah, like They have an old-fashioned day where you're just supposed to be old-fashioned which sounds terrible But the amount of times that I go to Like trivia or something or tell someone a random fact. They're like, how do you know that? I'm like, oh, yeah

I'm like and on the podcast we did an episode about this and then I got into a rabbit hole about that. And by the way, it has nothing to do with what the topic is. The actual topic, yeah. Good times. Anyway, this looks like, actually they're having a lot going on. I think I didn't give it enough credit.

So this is a four star review, by the way. This is a redemption and it's from niche.com. It's a four star review of Baraboo. Thank you, Jess, for sending it in. Here we go. Small town with cute downtown stores, beautiful old homes and newer subdivisions, nice neighbors. I would only reduce the number of left-wing yard signs.

It takes away from the beauty. Also, if we could reduce the number of sex offenders living in the downtown area end of review but that's secondary to the left-wing yeah I'm curious what their plan is to reduce them hmm I wonder if they just these actually well maybe I don't know if I want to hear it but maybe they're one of those people who think like if you have a rainbow flag you're probably a sex offender you don't know if I want to hear it But maybe they're one of those people who think like if you have a rainbow flag, you're probably a sex offender You don't even like maybe they're just like oh you think it oh gosh. I don't know

I mean the fact that they're saying all the left-wing signs make the place ugly Yeah going from that to that and then saying now get rid of the sex offenders Which like niche comms is not really the place. I would argue to like have that really the place I would argue to have that taken into account. I've seen that on reviews of the local city hall. Right, where somebody might actually look at it. That's not just me, because I don't know who else is looking at this besides me and Jess. I don't know who you're trying to reach. Niche thing.

It's called niche for a reason. It's called niche in a niche thing it's called me sure a reason like it's called niche for her like why why why do you even think this is gonna do anything okay that's fun that they have left-wing both the signs oh yeah you can look up the sex offender registry I looked it up recently for some reason yeah don't worry they are violent crimes their their murder rate is much lower than the national average. Their rape rate is higher so you know maybe there's something to it. According to niche.com? According to niche.com.

This is not... Is it reviewers who... Oh my god reviewers rating it. Oh wait you could be right. Oh no based on violent property crime rates. Okay I was like there's no way. That would be the most... I'd be curious of their sources, but I also am I'm good, too

I'm curious but like not enough to care. Yeah, Baraboo. I have no interest in moving there. No offense to Baraboo So yeah, not really anything that I care about. Yeah Here is my final reviews from 70. This is a three-star review Of cruise and chubbies because I didn't know you were going to go there. But I read that other review where that person was like go to Cruise and Chubbies and yes. Wait, you know, I think yeah, I think Stephanie sent this one. I don't remember. I think they sent in both of these. I'm going to

give them the credit. Here's a three star review of Cruise and Chub's. My nephew invited me to his large bachelor party. It's not my usual scene, but I didn't want to be rude and decline the invitation. It was a surprisingly professional establishment, but drinks were overpriced and a little watered down. One too many napkins on the floor in the men's restroom. Overall, it was a good experience. My nephew's smile when he came out of the VIP room made everything worth it. End of.

Oh my God, what? What happened in there? No. Do you really wanna know? No. So this person, they are a local guide. I don't know if that means much, a level five local guide. I don't know if that actually means much.

I feel like it's fairly, no offense to local guides, I feel like it's fairly easy to become one. But that's why I'm like, is this real? But their reviews are private, so I can't, it couldn't go through their other ones. I mean, it feels too normal to be not real, you know? It's so weird, I hated it. It's not like outrageous enough to be be made up, in my opinion.

Like the smile of my nephew's face. Like you say that for a Chuck E. Cheese review. Yeah, like ew. When the mouse comes out. And I thought he was gonna say, oh his smile when we got out of the limo and started to walk in or something. He was so excited, but the smile after the private room

where something happened Yeah, yeah, I just I love the idea that they invited their uncle and everyone's like, oh my god Your uncle is coming and he's like the grown-up who's like looking all the napkins on the floor This is a very professional establishment and they're like shots for uncle Rob I want to be that kind of uncle to Leona. Yeah, I mean, I think you already, no offense, I think you already are.

Good. Yeah, she's gonna, she's gonna, I mean, maybe she'll invite you on her bachelorette. I'm assuming it's probably not gonna be as, you know, who knows? Look, if she invited me to a strip club, I would politely decline. I don't think that

it would come to that. Like that's not what I mean by I want to be that kind of uncle. But yeah, I would politely decline that one. But I'd want to hang out with her at other things. The wizard quest. Wizard quest. I would have hurt my back for that. Yeah, we'll be too old for that at that point. I think I already am. Yeah, she'll be, she does like a little jump scare.

We could go to the ghost outhouse and I'll wait outside. That's so funny. I'll hold your stuff, cause I'm scared. And also people throwing up makes me throw up. Like we don't need that. No. So anyway. Illbillies make me throw up.

That's why you moved from Cincinnati. I'm just kidding. That's just fake ones like JD Vance. Yeah. Make me want to puke. Augsiner. What? That was like so bold of you to say. Sorry, I can't hear hillbilly without thinking of that fucking book.

It's really embarrassing actually. I read it. Did you? I thought I was going gonna say someone I know read it. It's not. That was me. I think Blaze might have read it back in the day too. Yeah I like paid money for that book. Embarrassing. Like it wasn't like back when I read it I wasn't like oh my gosh this is the best book ever but I also wasn't like oh what the fuck but then like now is more stuff that's coming now is more You're older like I mean you're not Like how many years with it you would have been your was your frontal lobe even Ready, I mean, I'm not sure if it still is there if it is. I mean exactly my point. Yeah

Yeah, no, I know. I don't know anyway, so that word hillbilly got it That'll do it. Uh, okay. Time for my challenge? Oh, I think so. Yes. Yay. Okay. This is my challenge. It was to find reviews where a reviewer went to a music store and complained that they had to stop playing the instrument. So this seemed to happen a lot. I got quite a few submissions. I hope we get song examples of what they were playing. Don't even worry. I got you. I got you, Baraboo. Okay, this is from Ellie Sheher and it's of a music store called PMT Manchester in I'm assuming England because it says

Manchester Southford and I'm like that feels like something they would say and expect me to understand. It's Manchester, New Hampshire, whatever. Wait, what? I said probably not Manchester in New Hampshire. I thought it was. If it's Southford or something. I got really nervous. I was like, cool. I'm. I'm I'm a fool. Let me check. Yep, I was right. Manchester. OK. Yes. All right. Here we go. One star by David.

Truly awful customer service. I'm in my 50s, not some snotty teen, and I asked to play a budget guitar and was asked to take my jacket off. I did it anyway, and moments later another guy mentioned that my shirt buttons regarding the possibility of marking this budget guitar up. What, am I supposed to totally strip off? I was going to spend some serious cash here on this budget guitar. Yeah, literally. You're just like... Oh, nice try. I was going to spend some serious cash here on this budget guitar. Yeah Nice try wait because you had to take your jacket off to play it because they didn't want your jacket buttons to scratch it up Yeah, yep, I was going to spend some serious cash here, but never will they have my custom

Okay, the staff don't care enough to run it avoid at all costs I hope they go under and to review so what I'm saying what I'm think happen is he took his jacket off They asked him to take his jacket off took his jacket off Then he's playing and someone commented that his shirt button shirt button We're gonna mark up the guitar and he said what do you want me to strip and I think they probably said sir We don't we really can't Emphasize enough how little we want you to do that actually. But thank you for stopping by.

Here's the thing, buddy, you don't own this guitar, you know, like, I know you if you want to play before you buy it, I get it. So then don't buy it. But like to make it such a such a f*** over it. I don't know to say that you want them to fail you want their whole business to go under Because they didn't want you scratching up. They didn't want you the risk of you scratching up your their freaking guitar, which is Fine. It's not your guitar. Yeah, it seems like it seems really unnecessary It seems like it seems really unnecessary Here's a five-star review this was sent in by Ellie she her of the Forsyth music shop Forsyth, New Hampshire Stop is it?

Okay, uh, I forgot I actually have sorry I have one more that was just a link that I forgot so this was from I forgot I actually have sorry I have one more that was just a link that I forgot so this was from Stephanie and it's it will answer your question that you were asking earlier Song songs. Okay. Good. Yeah, so this is talk bass calm and the for the name of this post the title of this post is anyone ever been kicked out of a music store and in the thread i mean the thread is 13 plus pages long so i didn't read all of it but the first person the op wrote that he was playing a guitar and they asked him to stop and he said has anyone ever experienced this um and of course people were writing in, well were you playing

smoke on the water? Do you have any, oh do you have any guesses Andy? Because there are a lot of them on here. I don't want to like list all of them but there's some like very... Stairway to heaven. I mean that was in like Wayne's World right? I think. I don't remember. I don't know. Yeah smoke on the water is a good one. I don't know. Probably some Led Zeppelin, more Led Zeppelin in there. What's the Metallica song? Money by Pink Floyd. Enter Sandman.

Yeah, Enter Sandman. People complained about. Back to Black by ACDC or something. I don't know. I feel like all of those like kind of mainstream. Welcome to the Jungle. That one wasn't on there, but you're probably right. You're probably right.

So here's a response. I mean, people were very opinionated on this. And these are bass songs too, though. So maybe some, I don't know. I guess they are bass songs, huh? I wasn't even thinking about that. You have to talkbass.com. I know, I hadn't even really put that together.

Yeah, but here is a response. songs huh I wasn't even thinking about that. You have to talkbass.com. I know I hadn't even really put that together Yeah, but here is a response this is by Some old man Oh he has a website oh it doesn't work okay. Oh so probably he played some chubby checker Wait what? Oh I thought you were referencing chubby. Whatever again, chubby checker. OK, here's a response from this old man. Maybe it's not your cup of tea, but if it's exactly as you described, then my first response would have been, what the fuck is your problem?

Followed by, fuck you! Upon exiting the store. Does it help anything? No, but I would have felt better. There's no excuse for acting like that if a decent musician is quietly trying out gear and not playing crazy train or smoke on the water, not bothering other customers, or usurping gear that someone else might be wanting to buy at that moment.

What a beep, beep, beep. It's three words full of asterisks. I don't know what they are. What a star, star, star, wait, star, star, star, star, apostrophe, star. Then three stars, then four stars. Then three stars. What? Then four stars.

What a horse's asshole? I don't know. Oh, yeah. No, no. What a something's asshole? I don't know. It's wild. Why would you think I'm going to figure out what that means?

How do you expect me to know what that means? I'm mad about it. That's a mystery, man. I don't know. And then they wrote- This is going to... I'm not going to sleep tonight. Then they wrote that, they wrote this is gonna. I'm not gonna sleep tonight, then they wrote That okay to be fair that has nothing to do with this that's just our life in general true This last line of this says it was an independent store. I take it

What like not a guitar center? Yeah, like what do you think guitar center is gonna be like, yeah man, rock out on that stairway to heaven. Yeah, this guy seems like kind of a tool, but whatever. Yeah, what a dick. I'm just gonna say fuck you, like whoa, whoa, whoa. And then all the other responses were just kind of like, anyway, like that's just, it's didn't, that didn't seem like the vibe here Guy yeah

Also, his picture is so scary. Like who is this person? Is this a famous person? Like I'm this is a jump scare I want to warn you this is scarier than the hillbilly throwing up Yeah, that's the old TV show. Yeah. What's his fucking name? I'm gonna do search Google with image. God damn it. Now it's bothering me. Man this guy's full of mysteries. Carol O'Connor who played all in the family. Archie Bunker, oh my god. Yes, Archie Bunker, yeah. He has an Archie Bunker photo,

or like picture of him smoking a cigar, which he clearly fucking screen grabbed off Amazon because that's like where the only source of this photo is. Yeah. Just so creepy. Like, why? And he's written 1,655 posts. Wow, that's too many.

You don't say. For someone who's talking about cussing out employees at a music store who don't want him to play yeah here's the fun one he literally says bear with me I've been logged out since 2018 and I've been retired from music for almost five years and then he goes on and on and I'm like why are you even here if you're like not even involved anymore a lot of this it just very neck, very whatever. I don't know.

I don't even know half these words. This jargon I don't understand, but, um, I do like this post picks of you playing your base part three. So that's just picks of people playing. I got that. He's like young dude. Really? Yeah. I'm God, he's like. I got that. He's like young, dude. Really? Yeah.

I'm almost more upset by that. How long he's been retired? He's played for how long? No, he wasn't logged into this forum since 2018 and he's been retired from music for five years. Oh, retired from music for five years. Okay, so then I pictured pictured someone who's older then. This is him in 2018.

Oh yeah, okay, that's not. He's like not as, I thought it was gonna be like some crotchety old man, you know. I mean, his picture is of Archie Bunker, so. I mean, yeah, right? Like he led me to believe. Yeah, so anyway, but yeah, I that's something else Cool, so this is actually my last one because I

brought that forum and I just knew we would get into a An unfortunate rabbit hole with that. So this is my last one and it's a redemption of the Forsyth Music Shop, perhaps in New Hampshire. Nobody- Interesting. There's no way to know. It's probably Georgia, but I could be wrong. That's the thing is like, we'll never be able to find out.

So this is a five-star view. It's impossible. By Warren. And then there's a response from owner. A well-run candy store for instrumentalists, floors upon floors of wonderment, staffed by approachable, knowledgeable, and especially lovely people.

Instruments for any budget, plenty of sheet music too. Came in to look at ukuleles, almost left with a grand. What? Don't play the ukuleles. Now that, that feels like the one thing you should be banned from doing. Oh, that feels like another level of annoying. You know, someday they're going to be...

Euclades have their place, but... What is it? Tell me their place. Somewhere over the rainbow by... RIP, yeah. Someday I'm going to go into a guitar center and play that apology song from Colleen Ballinger. I'm gonna be like... No.

I'm gonna see... I'm not gonna sing it. I'm just gonna play it and see if anybody's like... Please film it for our YouTube channel so we at least get some content. I do not want to be there. I cannot handle that. As if I know... I will never watch the video, but please record it.

As if I know... Wait, you have it? No. Oh, no. no oh you'll never watch my I have I was like never watching your video program trust me I have watched it well I'm just gonna cover it like as a cover okay okay by the way when are we gonna do my ukulele apology for what happened in DC is that done? You haven't done it yet? No, I didn't know. I wrote you. Should I record it separately?

A sheet, I wrote you sheet music. Yeah, okay. It's like the- I don't know how to read it on the ukulele. I don't even own one. Well, it's one of Beethoven's- I was gonna play it on bass. Symphonies, and it's pretty just easy.

It's just like, it's not that complicated. I think you can just read it. It's the Beethoven symphony. Well, that's the tune, that's symphony. Well, that's the tune. That's the melody. That's the melody. But you sing over it. Oh, oh, okay.

It's like, are you new here or what? Yeah, I'm not even trying. Instruments for any budget. Plenty of sheet music too. Came in to look at ukuleles. Almost left with a grand piano. Can I play? No, but I do have ADHD.

End of review. Ah, I loved it. And then there's a response from owner. Thanks for the five star glowing review. Much appreciated. We look forward to welcoming you back soon. See if we can tempt you further with that piano. Winking emoji.

They're like, this would give us enough rent for a month Like shit finally got a sucker on the line. Let's reel them in How do we get more people with ADHD into our not a bad idea like talk about hyperfixating on a new hobby like That would probably be your main demographic of sales when I visited home last Mom kept bringing up my skateboard that I was on like twice and I was like, oh, I don't like thinking about that Leona stepped on it and wiped the F out You gotta learn somehow. Yeah. Well, she learned so did I

Ten times her age my mom was like mom was like, oh, I know. Yikes. Mom was like, uh, wait, so am I. Hold on. Mom was like, Leona just stepped right on it and fell off. I was like, well, yeah, why do you think we don't ride a skateboard? Cause I also stepped on it and fell off, but I was like 10. So. I was going to say she's at least starting a little earlier. So maybe by the time she's 10, she's at least starting a little earlier, so maybe by the time she's 10, she won't be able to fall.

She's already past her skateboarding phase, because it didn't go well at age two. She learned her lesson immediately. Yeah. Pete the Cat made it look easy, what can I say? Oh, Drew, he's so good at it. Yeah, all right, anyway, that's all we've got today. Thank you everyone for listening.

If you have any insight onto anything we said today, please write in if you Are looking for the apology video? You just have to look harder. It's out there somewhere and Sandy will post it on his like Finsta or something and I think that's all we've got I Think so. Yeah, follow us on social media We got some fun clips tick tock and Instagram at Beach to Sandy full YouTube videos of our content on our YouTube channel YouTube comm slash Beach to see any water to it and then Patreon you get ad free listening and video if you're on the $10 tier ad free listening on the $5

and video if you're on the $10 tier, ad free listing on the $5, patreon.com slash Beach Two Sandy and we got some other fun stuff happening there. Oh what? We do a bonus episode on Patreon every month. That is true, that is true. And we, all these submissions that you heard today from people are from patrons. So if you wanna submit and get our access to our new form.

Join the family. We have fun. But yeah, and then, oh, this is coming out, right, with our last two shows. We got Chicago and St. Louis finishing strong with those two shows this week. I think tomorrow and no, tonight, when this comes out, Wednesday, right?

It's Thursday, Friday. Is this Thursday and Friday? Oh, yeah, St. Louis is on a Friday. This comes out Wednesday. Come on, Thursday, Friday. Chicago, St. Louis will be there. We'll be celebrating. It'll be a mom's birthday.

We're going to have a party. We need a rowdy, crowdy. Yeah, rowdy crowd, please. Got some friends coming in too. It's going to be a great time. See y'all there and thanks for listening. Bye bye. Beach to Sandy Water Too Wet is a Forever Dogg production, hosted and produced by Zandi

and Christine Schieffer. Cover art by Courtney Aventura, theme music by Mavis White, executive produced by Zoe Applebaum. Forever Dogg Productions is Joe Sileo, Alex Ramsey, and Brett Boehme.