Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 299: Reviews of Travel Agencies

Episode Date: August 21, 2024

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Welcome to Beach Too Sandy Water Too Wet. A podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me I wanted to like this podcast but I'd give it zero stars if I could. Hello, everyone. Welcome to Beachy Sandy Water Too Wet, the podcast where we read the worst reviews in the most dramatic fashion. My name is Christine. And I am Zandy. And we are here with episode 299. Ah!

It's one away from a special 300 episode that, uh. Do you know what I always think of, which it feels like very us energy when the McElroys on My Brother, My Brother, Me were reaching episode 420. They got really, pardon the joke, the joke, the inadvertent joke, but they got really paranoid and they were like, how do we do 420? Right? Like, like, what do we do?

And so then they skipped it. They just did 421. That's hilarious. They got like so in their heads that they were like, you know what, we'll do it another time. And they skipped it and they've just done it. And I remember being like, wow, that's so relatable. Like we'll just Yeah, because I've been writing 300. Yeah, which is a milestone and such a positive one. And yet I'm like, I hate the idea of it. I know. I know. I feel like we have a plan. Yeah. The only episode that I'm excited for for either of my podcasts is 666 because it's like, oh, that's like silly and like fun to say. And like, you know, you can lean into like the demonic forces.

But 300 feels like a blast. You know, demonic forces. Sure. Exactly. You get it. know, demonic forces. Sure. Exactly. You get it. Like 420 is easy. You just are like, this is an excuse to have an edible and read reviews of dispensaries or something, you know, like, for us, at least. I mean, we've done that already. We've already done. Yeah, but we gotta make pretend like it's special for 420. But 300, I guess, like, it's just, we didn't do anything for 200, I think. Is that correct?

Or 250? We didn't, there was something that we didn't do something for and we were like, well, you should have done something. So we're doing something for 300. It just feels like. Yeah. I already forgot we already had something planned. I was going to say, let's just skip it.

And then I realized, wait a minute, we've already put the wheels into motion. The wheels are, traffic lights are burning. The mega bus is coming. I have like sweaty palms at the thought we're doing something we said we'd never do. So not to be click baby. It's it's actually real. We really did say we would never do this. And it sounds like clickbait.

And I think they immediately know just from they might know they might know. But you know what? You're probably right, because it is everyone's first piece of advice. Like, hey, why don't your suggestion? Yeah. Yeah, so we're doing it So stupid anyway, but today is not that day. Thank christ today is 299 and it's a special day because we're covering reviews of travel agencies Yes, and my challenge was to uh find reviews mentioning a reviewer's childhood fears. Oh yeah. You should just save that for episode 300.

That'll be all my childhood fears wrapped into one episode. Let me go for 420. We'll do a paranoid episode. What if we just did a paranoia episode? I think we kind of already do. Yeah. So would you like to... I don't have too many I only have five

which for me is not a lot. I think I have five that's what I usually have. I have been counted because I did this research a little research I did these email readings a few some days ago so. Our Patreon folks did our labor for us a few days ago yeah. Yeah they paid pay us to work for us. It's great. It's like you guys should get on this game. It's it's a racket. Oh, it's it really is. I love it. I love it. And I love them. Wow. That sounds like what a segue and a center review in a Vista travel. I believe this is in Boise, Idaho. Here we go.

It's a one-star review. This was mine and my wife's first visit to Europe. We booked the trip through Vista Travel Agency and had a 16-day Portugal-Spain planned with a group of 17 other travelers that included the owner of Vista Travel, Kathy. Here are some of the things that happened on our trip. Kathy brought up politics during our first group meal, prompting us to ask her to leave politics aside

while we enjoy our trip. Bringing it to her attention only caused her to more frequently bring up her political views. Frequently, if we saw someone doing something dumb or silly, Kathy would retort back with, must be Canadian. For example, there was a sign at a spot near a cliff on the Atlantic Ocean that clearly said no trespassing. When I mentioned how ridiculous those people were to disregard the signage,

she kept saying, oh, they're probably Canadian. When our tour guide mentioned that the American Embassy in Lisbon built a beautiful wall around their campus, Cathy loudly said, I wish Trump would take notes. This was the first of numerous statements she kept making about building walls. Oh no, she got on a pattern. She's like, oh, I got a hook here. I'm just going to keep it going.

Oh no, oh no. Our Portuguese tour guide was with us for 13 days. Kathy refused to learn his name properly because she couldn't pronounce João. I'm not sure if I'm saying it right, but I did some research and I tried to do it. At least you, I think you're already leagues ahead. I think don't worry.

J-O-A with the accent O. Right. João is what I saw on the internet. I tried. She decided to just call him J. Wow. Kathy openly mocked the accents of all the tour guides. We had openly and to their faces while speaking broken English

to members of our group. Kathy was condescending to almost every member of our group at some point and regularly condescending to the select few that weren't on her side of the political spectrum. Cathy, quote, why do they have to call it soccer in America? Why do we have to change the names of everything? It's probably because of those flaming liberals. Wait, okay, hold on, I can't keep up.

Where the fuck is Cathy from? I assume Boise, I don't know. I thought it was that she had broken know. I thought it was broken English. I think she was sarcastically doing that. Oh, I thought it was like she she was mocking people's accents when they were speaking English. So she OK, she's from the US. I thought like, oh, yeah.

OK, I understand. All right. When our tour bus was parked next to another tour bus that was unloading Asian tourists, she yelled out, two points for each Japanese, referring to people. When several told her how horrible that was, she said, okay, then 10 points for Chinese. How is this lady? How does this person, like it's scary to think that these people exist. Does she go on all the trips?

I know, right? Is she trying to make friends? Like, I don't understand what's happening. I don't understand why she is on this trip. Why is she rage baiting everyone on her own trip? I know just being a fucking racist is just fucking wild. Okay. It's like one thing. Hear me out.

It's one thing to be a racist. I will. It's one thing to be a racist. I'm glad you committed because now it's time to listen. It's one thing to be a racist but this doesn't even track with like oh, she's just I mean Maybe there were people on the tour who were like laughing and so she was trying to like ingratiate herself with them But it's like if everyone's just uncomfortable and pissed off and like this is your business also. It's like Your it feels like she's leaning into it for some reason that I can't quite put a finger

on. Maybe she's just racist. Self-righteousness? No, I think she is. Obviously, that's part of it, or a big part of it. You see those videos of people on airplanes getting kicked off or being assholes, and they just refuse to get off. And literally, everyone on that plane is like, get the fuck off this plane.

No one wants to, no one likes what they're doing. Like they just lose all grass. No one is on their side. And they dig their field in deeper. It's just incredible. It's always at the Boise airport, which is so weird. It's like, what are these people doing? It's always the same person.

What's in the potatoes? Cathy got everyone little red bandanas to take for our day trip to Pamplona. My wife put hers in her pocket because she didn't have anywhere to tie it. It fell out at some point and another woman from our group picked it up to give back to my wife. Mike, Kathy's husband, grabbed it out of her hands and said, if she can't be responsible enough then she doesn't deserve it. When we found out what had happened, my wife asked Mike for it back.

He then informed her Kathy had it. When my wife asked Kathy for it back. He then informed her Cathy had it. When my wife asked Cathy for it back, she wouldn't look at her but scoffed and threw it in her face. Shortly after the bandana incident, Cathy couldn't figure out how to get back to the bus. Another woman on the tour knew exactly where it was and said so. Cathy completely ignored her and continued to try to find it on Google Maps. Several of us decided to go ahead since we also knew where the bus was.

Several people reported back to us that she said, I don't care a flying leap if they follow that little fucker referring to me. Oh, my God, that little fucker. She is I'm afraid of her. I'm so afraid. This is like running the gamut of awful travel. I'm shocked by this. Running the gamut of awful travel person. I'm shocked by this. Like, running the gamut. One person.

It's wild. The next day, Kathy knew we were upset about the previous day's events. Instead of apologizing or making things right, she refused to talk to us, tell us any information that we needed, and kept making comments like, oh, I might offend someone, or some people have to be so sensitive about everything. Once Kathy figured out that we didn't agree with her politically, she went out of her way to bring up politics as much as possible. She would glance over our way when making these comments,

appearing to look for a reaction. She did her best. She is literally rage baiting them. She's like, this is getting a reaction. Okay, I feel like comforted that I know now. You feel comforted. The motive, yeah, I needed her motive. Like just, you know how people in like a true crime case, No. Do you feel comforted? The motive. Yeah, I needed her motive.

You know how people in a true crime case, for example, will be like, it's so much scarier when there's no rhyme or reason, no motive, wrong place, wrong time. It's like a comfort that I'm like, okay, at least I know what's going on in her little dinky brain. You do? Do you really fully? I didn't say fully. Oh, OK. Just making sure. A basic motive. She did her best to isolate us, but ended up dividing the group and making many people uncomfortable. Political discussions and mixed company are not a great ingredient in international travels, and the owner of the travel agency

should not be the one bringing up such divisive topics. I would not recommend using this agency solely based on the owner's behavior on this trip and of review She's so that was a fucking wild one. Wow. I love it She just joins the trip also like oh, she's not even just a terrible racist person to be around It's like she also is just like inserting herself in your vacation It feels so weird like and with her husband there who's acting like he's getting his kid a puppy, if you can't take care of it.

That was why. It's like this truly was, there are some of these weird little minor things that you're like, why would someone do that to the extreme racism that you're like, what the fuck? I know. How is one person doing all of this in every facet seems to have made everyone uncomfortable. And the whole politics thing, I have to admit, when I first read, don't bring up politics, I was like, Oh, like, I wonder where this is going. Because oftentimes people will do that because they're like, I don't I avoid politics, even though it's like because it's

an all gender bathroom. And yeah, and they're, like she like that. Yeah. But when you're on a trip to Spain and Portugal and you're talking politics and constantly bringing it up, no matter what side, the world does not revolve around the United States and its political stuff. You know, I mean, it's crazy. It's like, of course, relevant to world global politics. But when you're on a vacation surrounded by other people, including people, it's just a very country. It's like, of course, relevant to world global politics. But when you're on a vacation surrounded by other people, including people, it's just embarrassing.

It's embarrassing. It's like, come on, we are everyone already thinks of us that way. Like, can we can we can we like elevate for a minute, you know, and called into our guide by his name? You know, crazy to me. I will also say, like, do you think why do you think she was talking about Canadians? Do you think it's because she was like, Oh, I can't talk about Mexicans because we're going to Spain. Do

you think like in her head, she was like, Oh, I know, they'll appreciate how you're making these like, you're like, you're getting in her head. Building a fucking wall. I'm like, that's weird then that she didn't lean into, you know, oh, a wall on the southern border. I suppose. No, I know. I don't know what that is. I think to her, I assume that she views Canadians as like politically

left leaning more. That's fair. Americans like on average or something, or she just has a fucking thing. I don't know what it is like in Idaho. Like it's close. I feel like it's, I don't know if there's like in Idaho. Like it's I feel like it's I don't know if there's some weird beef between people from Idaho and people from Canada. I have no idea. But it just seems like such a it is very bizarre. I don't know. Like it seems so kind of harmless

in a way. Like, okay, you're just that's what I meant. Like, why do you think that doesn't seem as divisive as she could have made it? You know, Like, I feel like she kind of did a softball there. Maybe she's testing the waters. Anyway. True, honestly, actually. That was- That could be. That was, I feel like, that was a doozy among doozies.

I didn't know where to put it, you know? Yeah, I didn't. I was like, do I start with that? Do I end with that? You really set a tone, I think. I didn't want to go into the challenge after that. So I was like, I'm going to start it out of the fucking huge one that is insane. Yeah. And then now we can hopefully, I was going to say relax, but I'm relaxed about this. Let's relax till episode 300 when all my dreams die.

We will not be relaxing. From Abby, this says, this is of Lie Not Tours. So here is, so it's a one star rating by Lisa, and here, which by the way, it was written two years ago, and then this is the response from owner, which was written one year ago. So presumably they had a year to really sit on this and think about what they've done.

Here's a response from the owner of the tour company. Our two reviewers here, Lisa and Grace, were both traveling together until they could no longer stand each other and Grace refused to travel with Lisa. This is a personal problem and not the problem of Line Out Tours. Lisa has been given a refund and a review.

Dramatic. I want to know what happened. I feel like I've been on trips like that, where I'm like, I just like in high school when we do those like big trips and I was like, I can't be around these classmates of mine any longer. So I do feel Lisa's pain, but it's like you're taking it out on the wrong person. I wouldn't rate my study abroad business or whatever the school business. I wouldn't rate the study abroad school that I attended like poorly because my classmates sucked, right?

What if it's like a Cathy situation? What if Grace is part of Why Not Tours? Then in that case it's a little different. But I'm picturing one of them just like glass of wine, just sitting there and like stewing and just Oh, you know, man, I got to get this out somewhere. Nobody liked one star on threads. And so she was like, I have to get some I have to get a response somewhere. My threads is not picking up my tick tock about this has no views. I think

I'm gonna post about it on Google reviews. And sure enough, a year later, she got her little response. I kind of love that a year later, they were like, oh yeah, this person, I remember this. And they aired out their dirty laundry. How embarrassing if she did that with a wine field pissed off, just clicked one star. And then a year later, got this post,

someone's responded to your post, you're like, what post? And then you look and you're like, oh my God. Imagine that moment of like, fuck, see you look and you're like, oh my god Like imagine that moment of like fuck see this why the internet never it's all just be careful out there You got to be careful what you put out there as we put out 299 episodes of this nonsense. Oh, well Stupid my next one is from Jess who Who this has an owner response and this is of Celtic tours world vacations here we go one star I would like to express my extreme displeasure with a

service I received from Celtic tours my husband and I along with another couple celebrated 30 years of marriage in Italy Celtic tours places in a hotel in Sicily that was for business travelers and not for vacation travelers. We incurred substantial out-of-pocket costs because we opted to move to another hotel. Our complaints were not heard by this company. I know this because our local travel agent forwarded their responses to my email. We will never use Celtic Tours again. They were extremely short-sighted as we planned to go to Europe again in 2015.

Here's one statement that shows our many concerns were not heard. Quote, I realize your clients were not happy with this hotel or town, but I am unable to get a refund from a fully prepaid hotel because they didn't like it. End quote. It was not a question of just not liking it. There was nothing to do and absolutely no tours available. In a business like tourism, it's all about brand recognition. They should know this. There are many travel agencies we can go to in order to book our travel and we will do so in the future.

They just do not care about the client's experience once they have your money. End of review. Okay, I don't take much stock in this to be honest, but go ahead. Here is the response from owner. I love these responses. They were so bad.

They feel good. Such good ones. We are truly sorry you are disappointed in the service we provided on your June trip to Italy. We do strive to always provide the best possible service and have been since 1972. The hotel and area you are referring to is the Hotel Messenion in Messina. Please note this area was not selected by Celtic Tours. Celtic Tours recommended Hotel La Busola in Malazzo. On March 10th 2014 we were advised to change to Messina per your request. What? With that request we arranged the Hotel Messenion which receives outstanding trip advisor reviews.

We are sorry that you're displeased with this area, however, it was not recommended by Celtic Tours. Our recommendation of Hotel La Busola in Malazzo was not accepted. If a customer requests a specific area, we will book that area accordingly. Unfortunately, the hotel was pre-paid before your arrival and non-refundable. However, we did provide a goodwill refund of $200 in addition to working with our supplier in Italy to arrange transportation and alternate hotel arrangements as quickly as possible. We do indeed care about our customers' experience and we are sorry you experienced further out-of-pocket expense, but this was a situation that was indeed beyond our control. End of response. Oh, I

This is like you can't win. I mean they all get dismantled so easily. It's so easily It's like bill ability if it's a it's a building of cards, you know how they say that all the time Um, it's like it's like there's that Netflix shoot series as well building of cards. Yes with another Kevin That's been canceled. They're all every day. I thought it was, I was going to say it was Bevin Casey, who was in that. Yeah. Oh, I could be wrong. I usually don't.

Building of Cards, but I thought it was to law, but that's besides the point. I just, it's like, how do you even pretend like you're going to win an argument like that? I guess people just have this attitude, and it's like you can't, it doesn't faze them. I don't know. I just can't live. I can't imagine a world in which it's like you can't, it doesn't phase them. I don't know. I just can't imagine a world in which

I'm like complaining on the internet, someone just fucking destroys me in the nicest way and then I like go about my business. I would be under that building of cards, just like dead. Jesus. Sorry. I would just, my ego would be destroyed, you know, but these people seem like impervious to this. Yeah, I feel like most of the reviews I saw were like any one star reviews were just completely shit on by the owner because they were like, yeah, no, this is not at all how it went. Yeah. Yeah, it's like we did what you wanted. Sorry, you're bad at planning travel. Bye. I imagine. I mean, it feels like it would suck to be a travel agent because

for sure. Some people just fucking suck at traveling and that's fine. And things. But the thing is also, there's so many things that could happen that go could go wrong, that are completely out of control, like out of the control of anyone involved. And then of course you're the scapegoat if you're the one who initially booked it. Travel agent? Not for myself, but for my former bosses. Oh, okay. So I went on a trip.

This is only one time I've used a travel agent and it was because we were going to Sweden for the Volvo car thing. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. And they were great. I mean, they were super just professional, whatever, but our flight from Detroit to Amsterdam was canceled and like we were stuck in the Detroit airport

for like a day and a half. And our time in Sweden was only like two and a half days. So we were like missing like half the time. And I remember having such low expectations, not because I thought like, oh, they're not professional, but just because I was like, what are they going to do? But they were like so, so good. And they just stepped in and they were like, you know what? We have all these contingencies.

We've told the hotel, we've told the factory, we've told, et cetera. They just kind of have contingencies in place. So I was like, oh, I see now why this is such like a benefit to have because you just text them like, hey, our flight. And they're like, don't worry. We already saw we're on it. So that was, I remember being like, I have low expectations of the service in general,

just because I was like, I don't know what they can do about it, but anyway, so I feel like there's only so much they can do. And if someone's gonna go on and complain about their flight But anyway, so I feel like there's only so much they can do. And if someone's going to go in and complain about their flight being canceled, like, you know, what are they going to do? Yeah, that was like my old boss had, we would go and he'd have, we'd use travel agents and he was, we'd be waiting outside in the car, waiting for him to come down to drive into the airport. I mean, okay, I only drove him like once and he just wasn't showing up and like he was going

to be late and we were all freaking out contacting the agent to be like, God might have to get another flight. They were already ready for something. I think we ended up making it but like it was so stressful and thankfully yeah, there are the trial. That's why he needs a travel agent because he's a fucking asshole who like made everyone wait for everything and didn't do anything anyway. Don't talk about dad like that. I was gonna say grandpapa then I was like, well. He also had like this debit card that had like airline miles for a private jet.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. So like, yeah, so he, it was a private, like a charter jet service. So he didn't own his own jet, but he'd have this like, he had a literal like debit card, but it was miles. And he would like use it to book travel. It's so weird. I was sitting at home and tell us these stories and we'd be like, what is this world?

Fucking weird, man. What a weird job that was not good. Anyway, I get it. You know, I get the travel agent thing though. You're right. Like I could see why that would be such a useful thing. Even in today's age with, you know, being able to look so much yourself, I finally understood why this is such a beneficial service. Yeah, no, for sure. Anyway, here we go. This is from Cory, she, her,

and it is a review of wanderlust journeys in Pittsburgh or it's like outside of Pittsburgh and this is a one star view by John. It also has a response from owner. Wow, they really are. I didn't even realize how many of my next one does too. Really? Damn. Yeah. Okay. So this is a one star view by John. Whoever drives the company Lincoln Navigator should be reprimanded. End of review. Uh oh. I love these reviews. It's like, first of all, stop texting and driving, John.

I feel like I probably agree. Like I don't know what this driver did, but if it required them to go on the internet. I don't either. Like they probably did something. They probably need to learn what a yield sign is. But that aside, here's a response from the Wanderlust Journey's owner.

While driving through the business area of Route 88, I go the speed limit or below since Castle Shannon police are frequently in the lots. I did notice your proclivity to leave bad reviews for businesses. I recommend a beach vacation to a tropical island to improve your disposition." End of response. Amazing. They're like, what if they drive like that just to piss people off and then like bait them into getting a tropical vacation?

They're like, you know what, you're right. That's next level marketing. That's so meta. They drive around slowly. Don't give anyone idea. Okay, yeah, as long as it's slowly. We're on island time, John. There you go. I like that. Okay. It sounds like it sounds like they got that sky was pissed because

they were driving slowly which I feel like is not a fair. Oh, that's what it was. Yeah. Oh, no. Not at all. I don't know if that's true. That's what the business is claiming. Like, yes, I see. I see. I don't exceed the speed limit because we don't want to get pulled over. I don't know if you've ever heard about that, John, but yeah, I feel like saying like we've got just the thing. Join us. That's so funny to me.

I love that. Join us in Portugal. That's so good. Okay, I've got another one here from Annika. This is of Harman Travel Service. And this is located in hmm. What the fuck is this? Is this Boise again?

I think so. Oh my God. It's in Boise again. I know. I know. Kathy opened up a second office. God damn it. Here's a one star review with owner response, of course.

Disappointed how we were treated because we had a dollar limit. Felt like they thought it wasn't worth their time to help us. We never received any information after the initial meeting." End of review. Here's a response. Sorry to hear that you feel disappointed. We believe that we clearly expressed to you that the budget you requested for the Dominican Republic trip was unrealistic. Therefore, no further follow-up was scheduled. Should you decide to reconsider, we stand ready to assist." End of response. So this person's like, I want to spend this much money on a vacation. They were like, that's unreasonable. And they were like, well, fuck you. I'm leaving the one-star review. Yeah. I imagine that's tough too,

because I feel like that hits such a nerve, you know, like finances that it's like, it's probably a, like, there's probably an ego hit too of like oh, yeah Sorry, you just can't afford a trip to the Cayman Island or whatever on the internet to like say that yeah No, but I don't like that. I wonder if that's like what they are like I Don't know like yeah, what do people say pressed about? I Watched gypsy rose today say Panini pressed and I was like, I guess I'll take that with me. 2024 is wild. You just said that sentence.

I can't. Can you imagine saying that sentence like five years ago? When I covered the case on a necessary drink. Yeah, no. And she was like 12. No. And this was written like three years ago and like COVID travel, first of all. Oh God, imagine. Troubling in itself.

But like the prices were crazy. Supply chain disruption. It was crazy. It was so expensive to fly places because they were like, like, I don't know. Wasn't it? Isn't that what happened? Like didn't flights get... I don't remember. I don't know. All I remember is that I had an entire tour's worth of flights booked and I had to get them all refunded, but they were all refunded to like credit on my account and like Delta account. And I was like, what? What? Like, I don't need all the I don't need a trip to like, I don't know.

You can travel wherever you want, but you can't because you shouldn't and you shouldn't like nice. Thanks, Delta. So I don't know. I think it's wild. I did see other reviews where they were like, this place told me I need to be vaccinated to travel. Oh, fuck. This country. And they're like, but I have friends who said that you don't need that. And they were like, well, and they're like, they made me feel bad for not being vaccinated. I'm like, Jesus, like, just fucking move on.

Find another travel agency or book your own travel. If you think that flight, if you're going think you're gonna be like man dramatic about it. You can find something that's within your budget Go fucking book it then but This reviewer have like a debit card of miles for the Charger I just like most did I can't relate to this person like what do you mean? You don't have a debit card full of private jet miles? Yeah, I mean, I'm surprised you get such great wifi on your private plane right now.

Me? Oh, yeah. Yeah, oh. That you're in right now. Oh, you can tell, I was hoping you couldn't tell. I created like a virtual background. Yeah, it's impressive. Thanks.

I just hear the like occasional like person coming by to offer you peanuts. Yeah. And I keep saying, will you shut the fuck up? I'm trying to record. Yeah. And then you throw your debit card of miles at her. Anyway, so that's what I'm up to. What are you guys doing? anyway, here is Sent in by Brad who actually suggested this theme classic Brad And this is a classic a company called bus travel Iceland and I think it speaks for itself So here's a one star review Called our tour guide got lost And when Brad's not a big place.

First of all, as someone who gets lost on their own floor in their own house and on their own private jet, like don't tell me Iceland's not big. I could get lost in there. Okay. In the heart big enough to get lost in don't get me wrong. But like I'm just I was thinking of Iceland and I had like, cause Christina and Kevin had gone there and they just, the way they described it was like fairly like small and like there weren't that many cars because there aren't that many people. And like, it was just very,

like a very specific area. Go to a volcano. I think so. Yeah. Oh, okay. No, no reason. They haven't come back. So they haven't come back. Still there. Oh, but I'm sure they're fine. Yeah, they told me something about some driver issues, but. It's fine. It's all fine. But I'll go pick them up on my way. If you know you didn't if you were ever behind the wheel of a bus.

It's something terrible has gone wrong. Yeah, something terrible has gone wrong. And probably there will be no survivors. So Be careful. Um You called our tour guide got lost and proud in the email basically said when I said in this theme I was thinking like I wonder if there are any like if this is something that occurred and so of course he found it as a one-star view I occurred. And so of course he found it. Here's a one star view.

I booked a volcano tour through Bus Travel Iceland. This tour was painfully disorganized at best and legitimately dangerous at worst. It was advertised as a 5 hour sunset tour and we were picked up around 6.45pm. Around 40 minutes was wasted at the start of the tour stopping at a convenience store and then stopping at bathrooms for a second bathroom break shortly after. Once we finally made it to the volcanic site, we parked in a remote parking lot and then hiked to a closer lot. No clue why we did not park there to start with. Our tour guide then proceeded to get lost and hike 30 minutes uphill before he realized we were on the wrong path. There was one tour guide for at least 50 people

and he had no way of projecting his voice or making announcements. After wasting an additional 20 plus minutes backtracking to the start, we started on the correct route. Once we reached the first site of hardened lava, part of the group wandered off and did not rejoin the group for at least 15 minutes. Oh, OK. I was like, and also when you first started this and I was like, you can't get like, how lost can you get? I thought they were driving and got lost. But I was like, I feel like volcanic hike. And they got lost. Definitely gotten lost on just a hike in Ohio, you and I am sure I you can get lost in Iceland. I don't know what I was saying. I wasn't saying anything smart. But this is scary. I don't know. At least not that many people in Iceland. You're not going to get that much life.

OK, there's not enough of them to make like such an uproar. How many people guess how many people live in Iceland? This is so you already know. This is me behind the wheel of a bus. How many people live in the country of Iceland? Is that what you're asking me? Yes. Yes. Oh, OK. No more than that. Four hundred thousand. Yeah. Yes. Oh, okay. No more than that. 400,000. Yeah 382,000. Okay, well I was close the second time. If we cut out the first guess then I'll sound really smart. How many people live in Razorbeak? I was presenting it as a Reykjavik. That's what I meant. That's how I say it. Reykjavik. I don't know how to actually say it.

I think that's right. Maybe that is that what you think you were thinking of? That's what I meant. That's how I say it. Recubec. I don't know how to actually say it. Maybe that is that what you think you were thinking of? 122,000. No, it's not what I was thinking. I was trying to find something that I could just point to. Okay. I know. You know better.

Yeah. Okay. I was trying to help you out there. Thank you. Wow. 122,000. But yeah, that's like a third of the population. More than that.

More than a third, right? I don't know. Don't stop asking me math questions. It's like Auckland in New Zealand is like a crazy percentage of the population lives there. Yeah, what percentage, Sandy? Yeah, what percentage? What percentage? It was pretty high. I just don't feel like looking it up, so... Oh, I accidentally typed population. I don't need those statistics.

That's another thing. I'm trying to type quietly because I don't want it to clack, clack, clack, clack, clack. So I accidentally type poop. Of the 5.1 million people in New Zealand, 1.6 million live in Auckland. Wow. And I think the second most populous is like 380,000. Oh,000.

Oh wow. So it's like a huge gap. I could be wrong about that, but I'm done looking up. I swear my hands are off the keyboard. I'm done Googling population of random island nations. But you're not done researching population of random islands. The population tab is still open for viewing later.

Don't worry. Also, did you just call New Zealand a random island? That's so rude. Okay, now I'm just trying to get everyone to work. Random island nations, yes. Those are two random island nations. All right, here we go. Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh.

So we went backtrack. They left the group for 15 minutes and they came back. The tour guide gave up on waiting for them and continued. Oh, sorry, let me just say this line before we feel relieved. The tour guide gave up on waiting for them and continued on. Oh, sorry, let me just say this line before we feel relieved. The tour guide gave up on waiting for them and continued on. So I'm uncertain if they ever did rejoin the group.

Oh no. They really buried the lead there saying they didn't rejoin for at least 15 minutes. But I like that they said, well, we waited 15 minutes, they weren't there. So either they did or they did not eventually rejoin us. Yeah, I'm confused. So they don't know?

Basically they're saying we waited there for 15 minutes. They never rejoined. So we just moved on and they don't know. At least for 15 minutes they were missing, but we don't know if they ever came back. That's crazy. Yeah, that feels bad. That does feel bad. The tour guide gave up on waiting for them and continued on.

So I'm uncertain if they ever did rejoin the group. The hike was grueling. And by the time we made it to the peak it was past 11 p.m. and pitch black outside so we could not see anything. Thus I didn't get a single photograph and did not see any lava. The headlamp that was provided to my husband then began to die so we hiked down the volcano with almost no visibility and the group quickly became splintered. This is like the start of Lost 2.0. Like a-

This is terrifying. Yeah, this is like the start of some sort of horrible, like survivalist apocalypse movie. It sounds like it's in the middle of the horror part. Yeah, you're right. It's not even the start. It's right in the midst of it. Thus, I didn't get a single photograph.

Didn't see it. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And the group became splintered. The tour guide was nowhere to be seen during the hike back. So it became the blind leading the blind as the group at the head of the pack eventually found their way back to the bus in a remote parking lot across a mossy field. There did not appear to be a final head count. And people were missing from their seats on the bus. We departed It's like, it's like worst case scenario. And I shouldn't be laughing, but I'm like,

I cannot believe that. Stunned by this. Like a stunned. The tour guide is like, well, I already lost my job. So I might as well just go home, I guess, and leave half the crew here. Cold beer waiting for me. Yeah, I hope so.

I hope, or at least a nice hot cup of tea. Okay. There did not appear to be a final head count and people were missing from their seats on the bus when we departed after the tour guide caught up 20 minutes later. We did not leave the volcanic site until after midnight and did not make it back to our drop off location

until almost 2 a.m. So it was absolutely not a five hour excursion and one hour hike. Nothing about this trip was correctly advertised and it was extremely negligent. I would absolutely never trust this tour company again, and their guys have zero knowledge and zero safety protocols in place. They have also ignored all my inquiries and concerns. End of review. Wow. Cool.

That sounds terrible. Well, they just like the sacrifices on that tour. I feel like they got tossed into a volcano. Like, I don't I don't I don't know what happened. Not count. Like, I feel like that sacrifices on that tour? Doesn't it feel like they got tossed into a volcano? Like I don't know what happened. How can you get back to the, not count. Like I feel like that should be a tour guide's number one. Well because Alex and I, because it's obvious they're all missing.

It's like, what's he gonna do? Be like, oh, are there 13 or 14 people missing? Well, it's about a dozen. Let's just call it a day and go home. I don't know. It feels like he's like, I've already lost. I give up. Man, what the fuck? I know, that's like I've already lost I give up

Someone other than the Yelp or whoever this was needs to be notified of this happening Yeah Like there might be some people missing Alexander. I think there's some people who've just made their home on this volcano and live there now What was that really good movie, Yellow Jackets? Or not movie, TV show? That's like the vibe. Oh, that's what Dee and I were gonna, we have to watch season two. I do too, I'm behind on it.

But that was what I thought of. Like, oh, the bus getting like stranded and then like creating their own little, Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. It does sound very dystopian or not even dystopian, just like very, very bad. Like that survival disaster type thing.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God. Not good. Yeah, not good. Yesterday, just for funsies, I got on Rocket Money's website for the first time in a while just to check if anything's been updated and boy howdy had it. I think I maybe go into a fugue state sometimes when I sign up for things and don't even realize it, but Rocket Money was able to cancel all these subscriptions for me that I had signed

up for and completely forgot about. Plus, while I was in there, I got a notification that they had just lowered my home security bill for me, like without me even asking. I was so, so impressed. This is one of my favorite services. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps lower your bills so that you can grow your savings. The dashboard shows this month's spending compared to last month's.

You can clearly see your spending habits, which is so helpful. Plus they'll help you create a custom budget and keep spending on track. Rocket Money will even try to negotiate lower bills for you by up to 20%. I have firsthand knowledge of that. All you have to do is submit a picture of your bill and Rocket Money takes care of the rest. They'll deal with customer service for you.

Oh, thank God. Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when using all of the app's features. Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash beach.

That's rocketmoney.com slash beach. Rocketmoney.com slash beach. Hungry Root is the easiest way to eat healthy. They send you fresh high quality groceries, simple recipes, and essential supplements. It's sort of like having someone else do all the planning and shopping so you don't even have to think about it. And let's be real, that's a dream come true.

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It was super, super cool. I had a custom cart made for me and I thought okay I kind of get what this is about right? No, it came and I thought wow it's like my fridge and pantry have been stocked for the week. Everything from Leona's lunches to very very simple and easy recipes. I was so impressed. It was such a good setup. I am in. I'm in for good. They've got fresh produce, high quality meat and seafood, healthy snacks, smoothies, sweets, ready-to-eat meals, kids snacks and meals, vitamins and supplements, and much more. And everything from Hungry Root follows a simple standard. It's got to taste good, be quick to make, and contain whole trusted

ingredients. Right now Hungry Root is offering Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet listeners 40% off your first delivery and free veggies for life. Just go to hungryroot.com slash beach to get 40% off your first delivery and get your free veggies. That's hungerroot.com slash beach. Don't forget to use our link so they know we sent you. Well, thankfully, I only have redemption. So here's my first of two redemptions. This is from Andy, who sent in a review of Fox World Travel, and it's a five star review. I have traveled with Fox travel on several trips. We were able to enjoy several trips. We are two women, 95 years and 83 years old.

We could enjoy ourselves on our time and our energy level. We always felt fussed over and never bored in a beautiful end of review. Oh, my God. And then there's a picture of a volcano in the background. And they're just standing on this volcano. Alexander, what? It just ended. And it's a screenshot, but it doesn't say Seymour. But I was like, no offense, Andy, I trusted you.

But I went to the page to be like, is there something make sure something here missing and there isn't and there's no other reviews from this person. It's named Ruth. So I do believe that they're either 95 and 84. It sounds possible. I was like, oh, I believe that she was like, oh, we're getting an app roll spritz. Sorry, got to go. And just shut her app down and didn't think to finish the review. That's what I didn't choose to believe. That's what I do with my research sometimes.

I mean, that one time that I just didn't have reviews for our bonus episode. You just kind of shut. I just showed up thinking I did it and I was like, huh, where'd it go? It's all gone. All that hard work that I didn't do Yeah, Ruth worked really hard on this. I'm glad that it's at least public now So we can all like enjoy the fruits of her labor But agreed I cannot wait to be art

So our grandma Pam has told me stories about going on bus trips with her best friend and she's like we pull pranks on People like they go on these senior bus trips. Oh my God, they went on a trip to Iceland recently. They went on a bus all the way to Iceland. They pushed like 12 people into a volcano. They pushed all their senior wheelchairs up the volcano and then on the way down. Hello, are you there? My internet just cut out. It's back.

Okay, phew. I'm hoping it's still recording who are you Ruth Jesus Christ you're just like vanishing in the middle of a sentence so true I remember what I was saying I'm hoping it actually recorded what were we saying oh so yeah so so grandma Pam goes on these bus trips and she was explaining she showed me some photos and she's like yeah they're senior bus trips where basically we go to like say that I think they went to the baseball hall of fame these bus trips and she was explaining, she showed me some photos and she's like, yeah, they're senior bus trips where basically we go to like, say the, I think they went to the baseball hall of fame

and she like said, oh, they did this like prank. I still don't totally understand the part of the prank. I don't know, but they dressed up as baseball players and then like on the bus were like, surprise. I don't know, like the way she described it. I was like, this sounds so fun. I don't even really understand what's happening, but like it sounds, I don't know, the way she described it, I was like, this sounds so fun, I don't even really understand what's happening, but it sounds,

she was laughing so hard, she had the photos, she's like, everyone was just cracking up, and I was like, this sounds so fun, they all just pile on a bus with their friends and get taken around, see the sights, you know? And I was like, this sounds like a fucking riot. And she goes, you'll never believe my friend, she's, what does kept keep calling her a riot, maybe a riot or like a spit fire or like a firecracker.

You know, one of those words where you're like, oh, boy, here she comes. She's saucy. Yeah. She kept describing it's like a bad influence. And I was like, this is funny. I just I adore this so much. So, you know, there's something to it. I can't wait to be Ruth and Pam one day. Is that who she picked up that like cocaine habit from? That was a prank. How have you? That was a prank. They got me so good then. They

got high at the baseball museum. No. Picked her up from the from prison that one day. What a prank that was. In the big tour bus. It was great. They put it right back. They're like, where's Pam? The seat's empty. Okay. Off the rails. Your turn. Okay. This is from Georgia. She, they, and Georgia sent in a bunch of good ones, but I had to narrow it down to one. And I also want to say happy birthday because this episode comes out on their birthday. So happy HBD, Georgia. Here's a-

Happy birthday, Georgia. Happy birthday. This is a review of Virgin Atlantic Holidays. And it's a one star view on Trustpilot. So you know someone's pissed because Trustpilot is where people go when they just feel like- I forgot about Trustpilot.

Uh oh, are you frozen again? I tried to get a screenshot of you eating that sandwich as it froze, but it- It just did it again. Yeah, you're back now. It's back now. What the fuck, dude? I don't know, you sound like me.

Twice in like a minute? So this is a one star view of Virgin Atlantic Holidays and it's on Trustpilot, which is how you know people are pissed off because people go to Trustpilot when they've got like no other recourse left. Oh yeah, I love a good Trustpilot. They've reached out to everybody. So this is a one star review of somebody who, I guess,

wanted to work for Virgin and didn't get the job. Ooh, I love this. I applied twice to Virgin Holidays within a three-year period. The first time I did not even get an interview. The second time I got an interview, but I've already been told thanks but no thanks. The interview was last Wednesday

I spent a week before at planning and creating this huge PowerPoint presentation about Walt Disney World 2 None of that was even taken into consideration. So I will not be applying again. End of review And trust pilot said a few. Finally Can I can I see this PowerPoint? I'm really upset. I can't see the PowerPoint PowerPoint If it were a prezzy, they would have been taken seriously. That's exactly what I'm saying. Like come on get with the program The program being prezzy. Yeah program being prezzy also a PowerPoint presentation about Walt Disney World for

for a job interview at Virgin Virgin. Is it Virgin Voyages? Is that what it is? It's Virgin Atlantic holidays. Oh, Virgin Atlantic holiday. So it's like there. Is it there? I assume they're like travel agency side or? Yeah, it seems like it's their holiday. Other travel, travel booking kind of thing. I don't know. What the fuck? Why are you doing all that? Yeah, I don't know. I feel like I you're right. I was in I want nothing more than to see this frickin PowerPoint.

Like there's probably some good stuff in there. You know, like, I don't know how, how useful it is for a job interview at a place like this. But I want to I, as a lay person would love to see it. If you want a job that I don't know what to tell you, but if you want to apply to our job, just our job, just so you can show us your PowerPoint, I'm down. I would love to see it. Yeah. If someone actually, if any of you want to apply to work for us, we don't have any specific openings right now, but if you send us a PowerPoint, we might actually listen

to you. Yeah. Just apply anyway, just as a general application. Send us a PowerPoint. I want to see your PowerPoints, people. Beach2Sandy at gmail.com. Can't wait. Send us your PowerPoints. I can't wait to see them. My last one here, five-star review. This is from Jess. Oh, man. This is from Jess. Oh, man, what is this of? I believe it's of that same place earlier, the Celtic tours. We just double. Yeah, it looks good.

Here we go. Five stars. The trip to Ireland was amazing. I went there not knowing much about and not have having much respect for Irish whiskey. Irish respect for Irish whiskey. Irish what? Irish whiskey. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, nervous at first. I did too. I was like, Kathy? Where'd you come from? Are you back? There's no way Kathy has any respect for any foreigner. I'm sorry. For sure not. She made that abundantly clear. Yeah.

I returned from Ireland with a deep knowledge of the whiskey making process and a great appreciation and love for Irish pot still whiskey. Not only did we visit many distilleries and taste a wide range of whiskies, but we were able to work in the Dingle Distillery for an entire day. But this wasn't just a whiskey trip. We immersed ourselves in Ireland, visiting castles, hiking the Gap of Dunloe, and learning about various different aspects of Irish culture and history. The visit to the ancient burial site at Newgrange was one of the most fascinating tours of my life and the camaraderie I developed with the other members of the tour will last for

many years. End of review. Wow, wait, I'm sorry, did I catch that right? They did a day of free labor at the Whiskey distillery? They worked there for the whole day? Not just any distillery, the Dingle distillery. I'm so sorry. Forgive me That is a very important aspect of it is. Yeah If you have me working at any distillery it better be called Dingle. It's or I'm not interested

No, it can't be called anything else. He has no respect for anything. I don't care about the Jameson one the Tullamore one the Walsh, the Teeling. You might think how does Zandy know his Irish whiskey? It's because I skipped a parenthetical within this review where they listed about a bunch of whiskey. Oh I mean I just assumed you were quietly typing over there again. Oh no, my hands are either in the air or holding what's left of my Uncrustable. Got it. I'm only eating it while you're talking don't worry. Oh I know I keep it froze at one point while you had it in

your mouth and I was trying to get a screenshot but I couldn't get there fast enough so. Oh darn. Here is my last review this is also from Brad and it's of Schindel Local Services and Day Tours and this is a one-star review of the tour called Vienna at First Glance, a private walking tour for first timers. So this is a walking tour of Vienna and interestingly enough, Alexander and I have partaken in a walking tour of Vienna

with a variety of people in the group. Yeah, it was like Lisa Lampanelli was there. There were like people we didn't know very well who are younger than us that were part of the group. Yeah, it was like Lisa Lampanelli was there. There were like people we didn't know very well who are younger than us that were part of the group. There were, it was just like quite a variety. And then my dad like hired his friend to do the tour. Who is a tour guide. Who is a tour guide, right.

And he and his wife like ran the tour and we didn't totally know who any... I thought she was the guide. Oh, she's the guide. Yeah, but he also... I think they might both be guides. They might both be. It just was one of those things where it feels a little bit... Like Romeo and Juliet, feuding guide families. Yeah. They were in different buildings and saying Shakespearean things.

They would provide different historical contexts. It was a whole thing. It was a whole thing. It was like a lot, cause we were like, oh, can we like- I can barely remember it. Grab a coffee and they were like, no, we're on a strict schedule.

And we're like, we are? You'll be fair, that line was crazy long. I know, but then guess what? Somebody did want it. And so we all had to stop. And I'm not gonna say who was, it was me. No, I'm kidding. Okay, this is- It wasn't me either. You just made it sound like it was me

Oh, I didn't mean to make it sound like it's you I mean to make it sound like we have an inside joke even though Okay, one star. This is called disturbing behavior from a tour guide And it's a review of Vienna at first glance a private walking tour for first-timers We know this guide. Like it literally, I felt like as I read this, I was like, Oh, I can for sure picture who this is. Like, I like not in real life, but like, I'm like, yeah, I know plenty of people that can fit the bill. Like this is a real person. Yeah, yeah, for sure. I was like, Oh yeah, this fits the bill so well.

I think you might agree. We'll see. My husband and I took the tour titled Vienna at First Glance, a Private Walking Tour. Our guide was Walter. Many of Walter's behaviors and comments throughout the morning were both disturbing, sexual, sexist, degrading to women, rude, and in two cases, racist.

Which by the way, I love that she says, they were both this and then 17 other things. Something like that. She's like, oh, and I guess I'll add a few more words that described his behavior. Walter's behaviors caused us to be extremely uncomfortable, ruining the day. Walter's first comment when finding out how long we were staying in Vienna was, what? Are you too lazy to travel? We were very taken aback by his rude comment, but we were excited to see the city and take the tour. So I think what they're saying is like, they weren't staying enough.

They were saying too long maybe and he's like, oh, you're not even going to travel. You're just going to go other places. Yeah. Like, yeah. Vienna is a great like central place to travel to other cities and countries too. But like, if you're in Vienna, you can be there for as long as you want. Wouldn't you want people to be like, I'm here for the whole week and you can give like recommendation? I don't know. I don't know. We were very taken aback by his rude comment, but we were excited to see the city and take the tour. As we walked, Walter inappropriately commented on the recent influx

of Ukrainian women to Vienna. By the way, this was written in 2023. So that gives you any context, which is sure my figure was about that. He chuckled. These Ukrainian women are the kind of immigrants we want. Long legs, blonde boobs. As we went on, many things or is there a comma there? There is, but it's still not quite a sentence.

Long legs, blonde boobs. Either way, it's not okay. I'm just like, wow. At least it's grammatically correct. No, it's not even that. As we went on, many things prompted sexual comments from Walter. All historic statues of naked or partially naked women caused him to discuss breasts, boobs, and vaginas. He appeared to take pleasure in using the word vagina and waiting to see my reaction. At the Belvedere Palace in the expansive garden,

there are many statues of half lions, half women. Walter talked at length about the statues bare boobs and suggested I have my photo taken while holding one. At two different points, Walter made very negative comments about the Chinese tourists. This was totally inappropriate and racist. At one point two young teenage girls stopped us and asked Walter to take their photo for them. His exact words were, Sure, but you really have to pose sexy for me. Boobs out.

That's it. Push those shoulders back. This is so bad. This was immediately followed by two other young women in their 20s who asked, Can you take our picture too? Walter's exact words were, Okay, but you'll have to strip for me. The girls and women were highly embarrassed and confused. There were countless other comments throughout the morning. I feel like everybody just thought this was like their senile grandfather, you know, like, because it's like they're the only two.

It seems like they're the only two on this tour. And it's like those two, the couple and then like this Walter guy. And it feels like they're just witnessing this man having these interactions and having to be like, we don't know him. Like we're just here on a tour. This is not our like senile grandpa we're taking around. Anyway, it keeps going. There were countless other comments throughout the morning. As it got worse, we tried to distance ourselves from his comments. I walked away often. I believe Walter knew I was extremely uncomfortable and that my husband was highly embarrassed by his comments.

I also believe Walter was enjoying the effect he was having and getting a kick out of the shock factor. He always smirked at his own comments. Perhaps the worst of Walter's comments, other than asking the two young women to strip, came in The Church of the Minorities, where there is a large replica done in mosaic of the Last Supper painting. By this point, Walter knew we were absolutely uncomfortable by his ongoing creepy sexual fixation and yet he went on with sexualizing the masterpiece at great length. Now I want to just picture the Last Supper.

We all know kind of the vague idea of what it looks like, right? Like what Walter's about to do is what people were saying they did in the Olympic ceremony this year in France in Paris, where like they're like, oh my God, they're like making the Last Supper a joke, even though there was do you saw this, right? How did you not see that? How do you avoid these things? I don't know. I'm happy for you. I'm not there was the the the opening ceremony for the Olympics this year had the part just one part of it was a reference to a painting. I believe it was like the Feast of the Gods and there was Dionysus. So there's this man dressed in blue and like a loincloth and like people were dressed, like not dressed up, like very little actual clothing.

And this man was literally blue being Dionysus and a lot of like, especially right-wing Christians in the U S got very upset saying that they're making a mockery of the last supper. and everyone's like, he's blue. Like, you think he's Jesus or something? Like, who is he? Like, it was literally like, and the guy who did it, the guy who choreographed, it was like, no, it's not the Last Supper. Like, what?

It wasn't. It was a specific painting. Whatever. Anyway, so people got, like, really upset. Because they were eating grapes and they were like, there were grapes at the Last Supper. That must be. Maybe. really upset because they were like eating grapes and they were like there were grapes at the last supper. It was maybe but it was also like the way the people were positioned were like as if they were tableau. Yes, it was a tableau. And so people got really upset. And what's crazy, what's funny

is like it was such a small part of the entire ceremony. It was like, whatever it It was so people got so, so upset. Fucking snowflakes. Crazy. Anyway, so I feel like Walter's about to do something. I feel like maybe should be upset about. Yeah, this feels like this feels were this feels like he can say, well, oh, so the Olympics can do it, but I can't. And it's like, that's not, you know. Yeah. Sounds like Walter.

I don't know, Walter, but I feel like I do. I think we both. That's why I think I was like, I feel like I know this person like not in a real way, but just in like, oh, God, what a train wreck. OK. But by this point, Walter knew we were absolutely uncomfortable by his ongoing creepy sexual fixation. And yet he went on with sexualizing the masterpiece at great length. Walter showed no respect for the religious treasure

or its subject matter. He did not know our religious background or our commitment to and our respect for our faith. Okay, he might have, because I feel like that might be why he's behaving. Yeah, he probably did. He might have. I don't think that would have mattered, so.

I think it might have made it worse, to be honest. Yeah, it's actually probably good. You're right. You're right. After many comments about Mary Magdalene's sexual relationship with Jesus, Walter again fixated on vaginas. He pulled out his phone. Oh my God.

Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. No, that's the bad thing to go from you. The worst sentence that could come after that. He fixated on vaginas. He pulled out his phone and showed us a photo of an ancient relic of a vagina,

an absolutely totally creepy, appalling thing for a tour guide to display by any stretch of the imagination, but worsened by the fact we were in a church looking at Jesus and the Last Supper. He went on to explain what he sees as truth, mostly taken from the fictional movie The Da Vinci Code, that it is Mary Magdalene in the painting to the right of Jesus, not St. John. Walter's proof was absolutely disgusting. He said, quote,

the open space between Jesus and John slash Mary Magdalene forms a large V, and the V is obviously meaning vagina. This tour was a disaster for us. What could have been wonderful memories were ruined. Once home, I reread the online reviews for this tour. Other tour guides doing this tour have wonderful reviews, and yes, Walter has some good reviews too. He has a great amount of historical knowledge. It is troubling that there was one other review of Walter's tour that does indeed mention his inappropriate sexual comments. Walter does not represent the beautiful city of Vienna, thank god, or its beautiful people with any respect. Unfortunately, I believe he may be the owner of the company. End of review.

That's that is unfortunate. And there is a response from... Uh oh. Owner. Is it just a picture of a vagina? It's like this relic is don't don't hate on my relic. OK, here's a response from owner. Owner's name being Walter. Interesting feedback about my disturbing behavior. Thank you. Your critique is detailed and devastating. Like, I think he's being serious. I don't know.

Like, it sounds like he's really sad. Like, that's not my first like. Yeah. Interesting feedback about my disturbing behavior, thank you. Your critique is detailed and devastating. I as a team leader and we as a team cherish the opportunity seeing unbiased reviews published on this platform as we can learn, improve, or just take encouragement for our work from it. Being in the hospitality business for 42 years I was confronted with personality clashes occasionally. I did not that day. And yes I manage this group of excellent senior Austria guides. You find their names in the reviews and our guests are welcome to request each of them individually if you don't want to see Vienna with me again. End of response.

Oh well at least he provided another option going forward. But he's like, I know you're here for three more weeks. You weirdos. You want another tour guide? I OK. One thing I'll say is I feel like a lot of the humor between Austrians slash Germans in my experience, growing up with both of them and seeing many of them does not translate well to English. But I think a lot of them take it way too far, especially with Americans because I'm kind of assuming these people are American because a lot of them are like, oh, they're so prude over there. Like, and they like go

out of their way to be not prude, like the opposite, to be explicit in order to challenge them or some bullshit, I don't know. I think it's that partially, but sometimes I see it as like, they see Americans as brash and wild and they're like, oh, I can say stuff like this, you guys get it, you know? And it's like, maybe, I don't know, I could be totally wrong, but I feel like sometimes in the media,

it's like the US is portrayed as like, we're party crazy, sexualizing everything, blah, blah, like maybe he's just like, oh, this is the type of like, blue humor Americans. I mean, I don't know, I could be wrong. It could be in my head. It's yeah, because the opposite because I feel like, in their minds are like, oh, American culture, like it's very a lot of like purity culture. Yeah, yeah, I would agree with them. It's very much like, it's too much like this purity thing and like, weirdness about people's bodies and like, like you can't, I don't know.

When we would go over there and see like go off King, so many women topless at every pool we'd go to. And I'd see like just penis it like you just see kids with penises Like it was fucking weird as an American child going to Germany German pools and seeing like yes This like loose miss about sexuality. We're not even sexuality, but just like nudity which I think is There's definitely pros to it, but I feel like a lot of Americans are seen as prudish because they don't have those same views. I don't know. So anyway, I think and then they

do love a reaction over there. They love it. They love it. They love to get like needle you love the shock value of it. At least the ones we know. So and I want to be clear, I don't think anyone in our family would speak like that. I'm not saying like, oh, I know people like, oh yeah, I mean, more like the way that this is phrased and this person being like, here, look at my phone. And like V is obviously meaning vagina. It's like, oh God, this really does sound like a real person.

Like that I could run into over there and be scared. So scared of, there's no one that I'm like, oh yeah, our super racist uncle or whatever. Like, you know, there's, thank God we don't have anyone like this. Walter is not bad, you know, thank God. Deciding what to pack for a trip can be so stressful. The clothes you have either don't fit their worn out or they just don't match. And that is where Quinn's comes in. Quinn's has high quality vacation essentials. you'll be packing for trips to come. QUINTS

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Something like that. Yeah. It's true. What percentage of the population was that about? It's like approximately a third. Nice. Yeah, true. Good job. You're you're so smart. I am shocked.

I'm so shocked by that. Me too. So this is a review of Maldito Mendez, which is, I believe, a closed is this a restaurant? I can't even tell what the menu is like. You can't find it because it's closed now. But yeah, it's a restaurant in Auckland, New Zealand. And here's a four star review.

It looks like it's like a Mexican. Like they have like tacos. Here we go. Back after that awful celery phase. four star review. It looks like it's like a Mexican. Like they have like tacos. Here we go. Back after that awful celery phase. Firstly, you need to understand I hate celery. It's not an allergy. It's a childhood fear. And the thought of mum's vegetable soup laden with the stuff still haunts me today. Sorry, mum. Maldito Mendez was our first favorite eating spot when it opened. We used to eat out several times a month there, but that all came to a screaming halt when

they changed the chef and suddenly every dish on the menu except the fries and the desserts seemed to have celery. Oh my God, the kitchen door swings open and her mom is back there. Oh my God. That's what it was. Mom, you're the head chef. It explains everything. It explains everything. Order it without the celery, you say? Not that easy.

It was all through the pre-prepared salad mix that went on the tacos. It was in the black beans. It was even in my egg dish at brunch. Our visits finally stopped. Anyway, flash forward. After a delightful Yelp event at the shelter, Even in my egg dish at brunch, our visits finally stopped. Anyway, flash forward, after a delightful Yelp event at the shelter, we were seeking dinner.

Let's try Maldito again, said Ryan. To my delight, the celery flogging chef had departed and all was back to normal. He's been run out of town. I feel like everyone's like, hunchback of Notre Dame, damn out of town. The anti-cel celery brigade got him. There were some welcoming, familiar faces still there,

and the new waiter was sympathetic to my celery story. Almost approving. Yeah, because he's the new chef. You're like, fuck that old chef, am I right? I mean, yeah. He's the server, the new server. Oh, the new server, OK. The new waiter.

Yeah, he was probably over the celery, too, I'll be honest. Yeah, yeah, right. All those free meals, everyone with celery, you know. Oh. I love waiters probably over the celery to I'll be honest. Yeah. Yeah. Right. All those free meals. Everyone with celery. You know, I love how this came up though. Yeah. I haven't been here in years. You know, that's celery. Probably you all had this waiter's like, Oh, totally remember that. Like, trust me, we lost so much business. We've got that guy run out of town over that. By the way, I like celery. I know that this doesn't matter, but it's like, it's a nice crunch to things. I like celery. Like it's just such a nice additive to, and I don't say that about many

vegetables. So I feel like, um, I guess I'm just surprised, but like, you know, everybody has their own traumatic history. One day Leona's going to be like, I hate celery. My mom put it in everything. I put it in everything. I, like I put it in everything. Maybe. Like, I feel like that's how I feel about carrot risotto. Okay, so like, you know. Yeah, fair. If they put risotto in everything, I'd be probably really unhappy.

I've long given up trying to shorten the story by simply telling waiters that I'm allergic to celery, as Ryan always exclaims, you're not and awkwardness ensues oh anyway enough about that vile weed the menu looked great and we saw some favorites there we both chose the same thing the pulled pork taco the taco went very well with a glass of rosé wine Ryan had a stoke lager and the whole bill came to $49 we'll be back again and often end of review until The celery comes back changes. Yeah, I wonder why that is I wonder if that chef was like really loves celery if there was like a surplus of super cheap like I don't know It's just strange like

Phenomenon that you can go to a restaurant one day and then like a year later Have just celery in every dish Yeah, no, I don't know how it works I don't know truly could just be that chef was like, just loved cooking with celery and using celery in dishes and thought it was great. And I'm sure plenty of people agreed. I mean, the texture.

I've put, I never thought about putting celery in a taco, but I feel like it could go. Yeah. I'm not gonna be one to say that because I don't know anything about making tacos, but hey, I'd eat it. I'd eat it too. I love also the partner being like, no, you're not allergic.

Like what the fuck? First of all, can you just like be a homie for a minute and like not fucking announce that I'm making up an, okay, first of all, that's a red flag. Anyway, I forget where I was even going. Oh, I know I hope they're not Facebook friends with me because my first profile picture in high school was Hillary Hillary Yeah picture of an angry celery

Mm-hmm. I think I'm tagged in it on Facebook. I'm sure you are shows up in my photos Oh, I see. It seems like something it was probably the first photo of you I ever put up there That's probably true. Yeah, it's the first photo. I'm gonna lean around the internet. It's a picture of a seller Hillary Angry, sir. I don't know if that's true, but we're gonna go with I'm gonna go with it my next one's also from Andy and this is of a forum on the There it's a body of post on the bodybuilding forums, which are classic Here we go. The first it started off with this.

Do you have any silly childhood fears that are kind of still with you? We all had silly childhood fears. Are any of these still with you in some minimal sense? Who is willing to confess for me? I am still a little bit afraid of staring into my mirror reflection for too long on the basis that my reflection might reach through and pull me into some evil mirror dimension. I also still habitually sprint upstairs after I turn off downstairs light and I don't stick my foot off foot out off the bed from under the covers because a monster might grab it. LOL. Those are all like relatable, right?

I mean, I feel like we can all we can all understand that. Yeah. Yeah. And then oh, the mirror. Yeah. You know, staring into the my mirror reflection for too long on the basis that my reflection might reach through and pull me into some evil mirror dimension. Yeah. Okay. I that it got a little weird. I was nodding along and then I kind of paused when you kind of kept going But I feel like you know that thing where you stare at yourself in the mirror and your reflection changes Gets that's a very real phenomenon. I agree. Yeah, and it's like an actual Scientific thing where your eyes are trying to create like straighten it or like make it

Yeah, your eyes are like always looking for faces, right? And so then when you're seeing your own own face for too long it kind of starts to morph and warp which is I was like I can relate in that sense I don't know about like reaching out and grabbing me but yeah well my the next one is just this ghost aliens oh so are these responses to the original yes this is a response someone else this is another body and then there's yes Of course. Yeah, there's one more response here we go I

Will never look into a mirror in the dark I will avoid it as much as I can That's where ghosts live and I would rather not see one especially in the dark. I love it They're like, oh, that's where I always thought ghosts. It's like, no, that is where they live. And you can't convince me otherwise. And like this person, I'm judging based on a very small photograph, but they look to be about 50 years old. Oh, no. I'm so sad that people are still afraid like that.

That fear of looking in mirrors in the dark. It's not just us. I blame them. I'm afraid of windows in the dark, but I also feel like that's more of like a, I don't want to say rational fear. None of this is rational. But like, I feel like it's more just based on like people looking in. Who's on the other side. Yeah. But I guess now mirrors too, like mirrors. OK, mirrors are freaky.

I don't have any mirrors other than in my bathroom. That's where the ghost lives. I know. In the bathroom. My ghost other than in my bathroom. That's where the ghost lives. I know. In the bathroom mirror. My ghost just lives in the bathroom. Yeah. My next one, this is from Chelsea. And she sent in a review of a book

titled In a Dark, Dark Room and Other Scary Stories, Re-Illustrated Edition, a Halloween book for kids. I can read level two. I love that it says Re-illustrated edition, a Halloween book for kids. I can read level two. I love that it says re-illustrated. Like, I wonder what happened the first go around. Probably something a little offensive. I don't know. It says retold by Alvin Schwartz, pictures by Victor

Rivas. So it's a newly re-illustrated. It says this classic, I can read full of, classic I can read, full of spooky stories is perfect for beginning readers who love a bit of a scare. So here we go. Here's a five star review. You say you were traumatized by this story in fourth grade.

I'll take two please. The old neighbor kid who was like 30 years old now said this book traumatized her in grade school So I hurried up and bought it to read to my grandchildren one day I'm not saying you should buy it unless you like really creepy stories or just want to see what could possibly be so traumatic in a Kids book end of review. What's wrong with you? That energy is quite Maybe a little concerning. Um, that's such a weird, not so good energy to have. It's so toxic.

Like what does it matter with you? And you have grandchildren that you're gonna just like push this on. You can't wait to traumatize them because this person who's 30 years old has gone most of their life with this book in the back of their mind as being terrifying. What the fuck? Oh, man.

I feel like kids don't need to be terrified. You know, like that doesn't seem like exactly like my whole happen. Yeah. You don't need to force it upon them. That's what I think, too. But what do I know? I mean, who knows? OK, I've got one more here. One more as a four-star review this was sent in by Stephanie This is a review of a movie called Shadow of the Hawk and it's a horror movie Are you sure it sounds like a Civil War like

Read Actman or something, you know, it kind of. But yeah, it says a terrifying adventure into the unknown. Here we go. That's what I call the Civil War. Sorry, that didn't make sense. Just ignore me. Go on. I kind of liked it. Okay.

A thoughtful and positive take on Native American slash First Nations culture and folklore as it tells a spooky tale of a reluctant hero returning to his roots. With that said, this movie scared the poo out of me as a child. Some kids are frightened by dogs, others are afraid of snakes, yet others are scared of clowns. None of these bothered me much, but my childhood fear was masks and the villain of Shadow of the Hawk is played by well a mask. So anyway when I was eight I spent the summer at my grandparents house and we watched this movie on tv because my grandma heard that the neighbor was traumatized by it and she said I know

just a thing. I'll go to Blockbuster real quick and ruin your life. Exactly oh gosh terrible. While their house was contemporary stylish and impeccably clean, there was a long hallway with a couple of 90 degree bends. Whenever I turned a corner by myself at night, I just knew the evil spirit was going to be waiting for me with that flowing hair, those vacant eyes and mouth drawn into a permanent slurp. The better for devouring the souls of little boys walking alone in the dark.

Forget Freddy or Jason or Pennywise, that horrible ghost bitch was the creepiest thing I would ever see on film, at least until I saw the dark crystal with even more hideous evil puppet nightmare fuel. Anyway, I watched it again this weekend for the first time in many years. Every time the evil spirit appeared, I chuckled to myself, longing for the simpler scares of childhood. Every once in a while, I glanced over to a photograph on my wall, taken that very summer,

of me with my now departed granddaddy. If I could send a message to past me, I would tell him, conquer your fear and you'll be just fine. End of repeat. Oh, that got so heartwarming. It was, wasn't it sweet? I didn't see that coming.

I thought that was a nice finale. I looked at the mask. Especially when it started us off on such a rough fucking Cathy trip. Yeah, you really did. You just like pushed me into a volcano and then finally I've made my way back to the tour bus and it's not here, it's really weird.

Well, I did look up the mask from that movie. It does look frightening. I didn't. It does look frightening. I didn't. It does look frightening. I should have. I don't know why I didn't even think to look it up. Probably because it sounded scary and I thought, I don't want to see it. I feel like to any eight-year-old, masks are inherently a bit scary, at least in my experience. I mean, the movie, The Mask, freaked me out.

Me too. I was terrified. Like that alone and that like mask itself wasn't that creepy though. It was a little creepy. It's like the concept of it was so creepy. It's like hiding your face is creepy inherently I think and yes. I don't know and anything kind of uncanny valley is creepy like a mass that sort of looks human sort of doesn't. Like meanwhile I'm over here like I played the brave little toaster the other day, and I was like, oh no, this is going to traumatize Leona, so I had to change it back to Dino Ranch.

That's how nervous I am about traumatizing my own child. I won't even let her watch. To be fair, it was kind of troubling to watch the Brave Little Toaster in 2024. I feel it doesn't age as well as I had thought. Yeah, I'd like to think that media geared towards children has become a little more sensitive to the fact that they're children. And I don't think it's a softening up society or some bullshit. It's like they're kids.

They don't need to be. Again, they'll find a way. The world finds a way. The world finds a way to terrify children. You're so right. And I'm sure I'll traumatize her in many other ways. So don't worry. I will put celery in her food till the day she leaves the house and that'll do enough damage. I think.

It's like, like you one day you and Alyssa watched the ring by yourselves. Like you found a way to find that movie and watch it when you were too young to watch it. Never, never, never left me. And it wasn't because your mother was like, Oh, I can't wait to You should do this. Yeah. Yeah. You know, like to make her watch this. It's like, oh, I can't wait to- You should do this. Yeah. I got you something. To make her watch this. It's like, no, you found a way to terrify yourselves.

Or she let me go to the swim team sleepover and they watched The Exorcist outside and I was so freaked out. But that wasn't mom being like, hey, I got you a cool surprise. Yeah, exactly. To tear at the TV. It comes with a lot less resentment, you know?

Yeah, yes. It's like you have no one to blame but yourself if you're watching that kind of thing. But the Kurt Rosotto, I'd still blame her for that. That is fair. Max and I, I was watching Brave Little Toaster, and we got about five minutes in, and I was like, this is, because Blaze hadn't seen it, I think.

Yeah. It was definitely a staple in our house, the VHS tape. But there was, did you know that the the the blankie thing talked about this? Oh, maybe he calls it he calls the teenage guy master Oh, it's like master's home and everyone's like master's home and I'm like, what the fuck is this fucking? It was so weird. I was watching it. I was like, this is super uncomfy It was so weird. I was watching it. I was like, this is super uncomfy. That's I remember that. And he's like, Masters going off to college.

What we do is like, oh, I was like, what is the vibe? I can't I can't figure this out. Well, do you remember when we watched the movie Twister? Because D and I were just talking about this yesterday. So the movie Twister. We watched it when we were younger. I did. I watched it. Yeah, I think Elsie made us watch it along with the perfect storm. So the movie Twister, we watched it when we were younger. I watched it. Yeah, I think Elsie made us watch it

along with the perfect storm. Yeah, that one I remember that yesterday, Alexander said, we're going to watch Twisters. And I said, oh, that happened on my birthday. And he just kind of was very blank. And I was like, I don't even know, but I just feel like I know that it happened on my birthday. But we even Googled it like we do.

And I could not figure out the fuck I was talking about. I don't know. But yeah, we watched twisters in 40 X, which is the wildest experience of my life. I went in and we talked about it beforehand and I was like, I'm I feel like I'm gonna be really underwhelmed by what 40 X is because I'd never done it before. When I tell you the chair moved, it felt like a fucking like out of amusement park, like the way it was like bouncing around. It was crazy. And they had water spraying, they had wind with the sign a waiver. That might be a stupid question. I guess buying a ticket maybe I think by buying a ticket and you have to be like over three and a half feet tall, like there's like a height restriction because of it. Like it was not for the faint of heart, I think. You weirdly get used to it,

but like the movie, like it was crazy to watch this. Did it go the whole time? Like was it always kind of moving? Yes, like even when they were like just driving around, it was kind of like pleasantly like kind of floating a little bit. Oh yeah, but when they were on rougher road, it was like kind of bumping a little bit.

And then there were like, you know, those massage chairs with things in the back, like those would hit you if like there was a crash. Oh, and there was like, like, coming out of the by your head. It was crazy. Was it scary the movie or no? Oh, no. Oh, no. And everyone. It was like one of those movies like similar to when we saw Megan, where you're like the theaters, you're all having a great time. Oh, yeah. This is an experience. It's like when I watched Get Out with a whole crowd in Los Feliz and it was like everyone was just at the end, we all had inside jokes. It's so weird. I swear to God, everyone was like kind of on this. While we were on Get Out, I'm like, okay, that one's actually kind of scary. It was scary, but it was almost like everyone was like laughing at like whenever we all get scared, we'd all kind of like be like, haha, laugh it off. And then at the end, everyone just was like

clapping and cheering. And I was like, I feel like we all just experienced this together. I guess we did. That's how we all felt. Because and I could tell people hadn't done the 40x either because they did like a little intro thing where they're like welcome to 40x and they went through like glaciers and stuff people were shrieking like And I were like No, oh my god, I would have been so flipped out no it was honestly so much fun and like I'd recommend it Well, we have like theal. We go see movies. We get the Regal Premier thing or whatever.

I don't know. I forget what it's called. But we spend like 20 bucks a month and we see unlimited movies. And if you go to two, it's worth it. So this, you get it, but you have to pay an extra $7 for 40X for us. So I don't know what the normal ticket price is. It's so expensive in New York. So it's like a massage.

You pay for a $7 chair massage in the kidney. And a little bit of wind swept hair. Yeah, there you go. But like, no, it was honestly so much fun and the movie itself was honestly great. I thought everyone was really good in it and I just thought it was just like a really good watch and I was so surprised because it's like Twisters. But the reason I brought this up was because the movie Twister, which I hadn't seen since I was a kid, I remember being so scary. And I remember being so terrified.

And I was watching Twisters and I was like, this was, I don't think this was the vibe. Like, I think the vibe is so much more comedic in this one, but I don't remember. So I asked Dee afterwards and we both weren't sure. So I was wondering if you remember because I don't know if I'd watch it now and be like, oh wait, this is kind of funny. I don't even remember seeing the first one. I mean, I'm sure if I did, I would have been deeply traumatized. I might just be blocking it out.

I think it was kind of more scary than this one because this one was kind of fun. Yeah, the vibe I got from, I mean, just my bare bones, just seeing it peripherally on TikTok is like that Twister was more. The Twisters, the sequel is more tongue in cheek a little bit, like whereas Twister, the original the Twisters the sequel is more tongue-in-cheek a little bit like whereas Twister the original was like a horror movie like a thriller more serious yeah okay that I don't know I mean I don't know I don't know again I barely remember I apparently saw the first one I don't even remember but yeah well yeah no I thought I thought it was really maybe that's why I need.

OK, maybe I'll watch it tonight because I'm like, maybe that's where I heard June 4th. And that was just what stuck with me. Like maybe in the movie, they say something like, oh, do you know what I mean? Because I'm like, I don't know where I came up with that. But I've for my whole life been like, oh, twister happened on my birthday. And like, it's not even a real thing. I don't know why I came up with that. So maybe I'll watch it tonight and I'll I'll make sure to sit in my chair and kind of do this.

Okay, yeah, jump around a lot. Like it's really fun. Anyway, it was a silly experience. Oh yeah, just spin like crazy. Just vomit. Thank God they didn't do that. But I would be so car sick. That's what you explained that to me.

I was like, I think I'd be so motion sick. But I never thought I'd be recommending twisters to people, but it was fun, man. Especially as your eight year old self who apparently watched it or your four year old self was like so trumped up. Yeah, it's technically a sequel, but I don't know if there's anything to do with it. Also, it's one of those movies where I'm like, glad I'm not that smart because there are probably so many things that people who understand meteorology or math would be's probably fine if you don't know. Yeah yeah I'm too stupid to care. You can suspend disbelief, you know it's easier for us. Dee knew some of the things in the math thing and she was like yeah it seemed a little off. I was like let me have this. No she wasn't saying anything bad. We had we know she had a great time too we loved it. So I can imagine her being like that formula is wrong.

You're like, what? And there's like, I don't know. I just milked ads everywhere. I like I feel like I'm enjoying it more just not even really knowing how it went. The wind was so strong at times that like when they like they there was a point where they like closed the door on the tornado, like they were like, yeah, had the storm, they closed it. And it like calmed down. And you could feel like I felt myself calming down. It was bizarre. It feels like what's that movie or that book where they do. And everyone sits in a chair

and then they watch like pornos. We read it in high school. What? Wait, wait, this is a book. Yeah, we read it in high school. And they do what? It happened on my birthday. No, I'm just saying. Can you repeat the words that you said? Yeah, they sit in these chairs in a theater type environment, and they watch, and when there's a sex scene, they feel it.

This is like a book, like 1984, some dystopian novel. Oh. Which everyone had Soma in it. Oh yeah that is 1984. That was 1984. Oh maybe Brave New World maybe. Brave New World. Oh I mixed those two up. Whoops. I do too. But one of them I swear to God where the the one where the guy like breaks away from taking Soma and he wants to feel human emotion and at the time I was like yeah and now I'm like why no I forgot about that book honestly I think about it in a while so often anyway whichever book it was I feel like there was a part and if I'm making that up those two in

Fahrenheit 451 or just like in my brain as one collective like yeah blob I mean I think that's probably fair but I swear to God there was something in a theater but I could be again like totally no I think you're probably fair. But I swear to God there was something in a theater, but it could be, again, like totally. No, I bet you're right. You probably know. Anyway, thank you for listening to our podcast. Oh yeah, I forgot we were recording. It's called Beeshees City Water Touette.

We read one star reviews. We already did that. So thanks for being here and for listening to this wonderful lecture on pop culture, media, classic literature, et cetera. I hope you learned a lot, as I did. And we'll see you next week. For big old 300, can't wait. Oh, fuck my life.

Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet is a Forever Dogg production, hosted and produced by Zandy and Christine Schieffer. Cover art by Courtney Aventura. Theme music by Mavis White. Executive produced by Zoe Applebaum. Forever Dog Productions. It's Joe Silio, Alex Ramsey, and Brett Boehme.