Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - 303: Reviews of Football Stadiums

Episode Date: September 18, 2024

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Starting point is 00:00:33 University School of Continuing Studies, where we offer career programs purpose built for you. Visit continue.yorku.ca. visit continue.yorku.ca. Welcome to Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could. We're coming to you live, just kidding, from our studios. Hi, we're back. Remember us remember the last time you heard us
Starting point is 00:01:26 We talked about how? people Think one of us is funny and one isn't oh, yeah, I was like man. We haven't recorded an episode in a while Yeah, but we're back like it. We're back. We're here. Yes What is this now? What is this now 303? To the live episode is this now? What is this now, 303? Because we made 302 the live episode, is that correct? We pushed the theme for 303. As I said in the intro for last week,
Starting point is 00:01:52 life has thrown us some curveballs that are extra curvy, and the planets are definitely out of an alignment that I'm definitely familiar with, and I feel like everyone's feeling it. I went to therapy today, and my therapist was like, there's something going on. And she actually said, maybe it's the switch to fall, the transition to back to school,
Starting point is 00:02:14 you know, like new seasons, like new football season starting, like because the theme today is football stadiums, but it feels like, oh, there's a shift in the weather. It just feels like everything's almost a little more tumultuous. Yeah, I think it is specifically because of the start of the NFL season. I agree.
Starting point is 00:02:30 And I actually said. I don't think anything else would make sense. And she told me that I needed to stay an extra hour for therapy. And I said, no, I think I'm right. Goodbye. My therapist wanted two sessions last week. Don't you love when that happens?
Starting point is 00:02:44 Yeah. And I turned her down. I was going to. And don't you love when that happens? Yeah. And I turned her down. I was going to, and then I was like, you know what? I don't know if I can handle it. Um, but yeah, I told her, look, NFL season starting. We're all feeling it. Okay. We're all feeling it, especially everyone globally. Uh, Oh my God. What a great, great shirt. Thank you. Bengals haven't started playing yet yet when we're recording this. I know, but any day now. Nobody knows when, but it'll happen soon, any second. Nobody knows when. Anyway, yeah. Because of the turbulence, I'm gonna drink this. I've been doing this one and that's why I drink almost every recording. I'm drinking a twisted tea every recording. Yeah, well it's a different, yeah, it's a
Starting point is 00:03:24 different ver- Oh, a different twisted tea. Okay, good. No, no, no, no,, it's a different, yeah, it's a different... Oh, a different twisted T, okay, good. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Alex... Well... That's what I am like, I hope so. A different... Oh, oh my God, no, I literally have an example. I have no idea. Why are there so many... Wait, oh, different hard Ts?
Starting point is 00:03:40 Yeah, so here's what happened. We did some ghost investigating for the upcoming tour and Eva had the bright idea to get alcoholic tea because I would always be like, oh shit, do I want to drink a cold brew because it's two in the morning and stay awake or do, and Eva was like, why don't we do boat porch and all this dose. So she bought all these different kinds and then I bought a bunch of different kinds and then after the paranormal investigations I was like, wait a minute minute now I'm just stuck with all this and I don't drink caffeine after 2 p.m. but guess what all bets are off
Starting point is 00:04:11 this week so I'm in I'm finally getting through these a couple things first of all I thought you were gonna be like I have a problem now so I didn't realize these are extras I'm not saying that you don't. I know, yeah. That's for after that because I was gonna talk to you. Yeah, I was gonna say that's not what we talk about on the episode show. And also, that's a given, but okay. But two, that actually has caffeine. I mean, it might be a dumb question.
Starting point is 00:04:34 It's like just black tea brewed. Yeah, they're hard iced tea. Yeah, they have, let's see how much. Yeah, I'm curious. I want it to be like none, and I'm just a little mental breakdown because I've been drinking them all week. Oh no, there goes the placebo effect. I'm like none and I'm just a little mental breakdown because I've been drinking them all week. Oh no, there goes the placebo effect.
Starting point is 00:04:47 I know, right? No, I definitely googled it. This one doesn't say, but they do say like, real brewed tea and that's kind of their whole thing. Okay, 30 milligrams. Okay, yeah. Lower than a Baja Blast, but you know. Yeah, but then you know know then I'd have to pour vodka in it and like actually that sounds great I'll think about that after the show but anyway I don't usually drink caffeinated
Starting point is 00:05:16 alcohol beverages you know for a number of reasons but this week like I said all bets are off the stars are misaligned by accident. And so it's time to caffeinate hydrate Etc. Amen. I Think I'm gonna need some some some marijuana by the end of this episode if if how we're starting is any indication of how this will go I think it's great and smooth and wonderful Constant in this tumultuous world is our episodes Anymore yeah, it's just the energy I bring it's
Starting point is 00:05:59 In this world got it. Well, then keep it going Do you have a nice review for us for football stadiums? Yeah, I do and I'm gonna say the name of the stadium and then you tell me the team just for fun. Like a trivia? Mostly for trivia, but also partially, cause some I forgot to write down and I have no clue. Okay, okay, I might forget myself. I'm not very good at this.
Starting point is 00:06:17 We'll try. Okay. This is from Hope, she, her, by the way, our theme is football stadiums if you haven't gathered. This is a review of the Lucas Oil Stadium. I know this one the Colts. That's right Indianapolis never been I'd like to go I haven't either I once went to the This is not this I hear it in my head before I say it and it sounds insane, but it's true I was in the cul-de-sac at two in the morning,
Starting point is 00:06:47 the cul-de-sac of several Indianapolis Colts players because I had left my wallet and a Taco Bell on the way to Chicago for New Year's Eve on the first day I met Blaze's friends. And he and I dropped everyone off in Chicago and had to drive all the way back to Indianapolis. And his, of course it was a girl that he used to date. Her mom lived in Indianapolis, so we had to call her.
Starting point is 00:07:23 And she had to drive. He dated her mom too, right? Yeah, yeah just to get in the but just to meet all those players those yeah No, and so she had to drive to The Taco Bell to get my purse and then she's like it was like in the middle of the night So she's like I'm gonna put it in my mailbox, but don't worry We have a gated we live in a gated community like it we're just going to put it out there. So we, she like gave us a code. I drove in my little, probably like my Honda, you know, and I drove into this fucking like subdivision of McMansions and like pulled my purse out of the thing. And then I was like, holy shit,
Starting point is 00:08:00 these houses are like humongous. And, uh, she later told me that a lot of the cult players live there. So got it nice. Anyway, relatable story. I'm glad it was team related at least. It wasn't just some random. No, no, no, it was because it was just such a strange and like fever dream like because you know, we miss New Year's Eve. Well, no, we made it right in time for New Year's Eve, but We had to stay in like a motel eight because we had like no money anyway it was just a weird day because I was like driving through to these McMansions and I felt like I was
Starting point is 00:08:36 Trespassing because I was like, you know in my shitty car and like going through mailboxes. Well only one Was gonna say mailboxes well only one mailbox I was gonna say okay let's just say that it sound like you had much Andrew Luck that day am I right briefly former cold brief I don't know how brief what year was this this would have been the year we started dating so like a few months in so the 2013 into 2014 end of 2013 basically and of 2013 to end of 2014 Okay, no, no. No, no end of 20 13 to the beginning of I was not in that cul-de-sac for a whole year
Starting point is 00:09:17 Where I swear I'm not still hiding out Anyway, it was so core that it like I I don't know, that feels such a random thing to me. That's why I said it. Cause like by only every time I hear about the Indian apolis Colts, I'm like, huh, huh, some of them live in big McMansions. What a surprise. Okay. Blaze is going to hear this and be like, why are you talking about this? No, he's going to hear this and be, it's going to be like, that wasn't the Colts. No, literally. I promise you. He's going hear this and be like why are you talking about this? He's gonna know he's gonna hear this and be it's gonna be like that wasn't the Colts. No, literally I promise you he's gonna be like that was in a completely different state
Starting point is 00:09:54 Okay, this is a review of the Lucas oil stadium where the Indianapolis Colts play before they go home And this is a one-star review by Frank Worst soft pretzel I ever had to go home to their cul-de-sac. And this is a one star review by Frank. Worst soft pretzel I ever had. Cheese was good. Almost ruined my evening, but football gave me the rush I needed to get through the disappointment in the pretzel. End of review.
Starting point is 00:10:18 Oh my god. This person's very fragile. I worry that if the Colts lose, spoiler alert, they will. Then he's gonna really be crushed. They're looking pretty good. If they have a healthy quarterback all season. This is such an exciting time for me. I get to talk about football.
Starting point is 00:10:39 I just love, I mean. Really? Cause I feel like I've talked the most about this. No, I know, but I'm'm just I started to and I thought wow This is actually relevant rather than it not being just like you know, just bullshit banter It is bullshit banter. Just kind of like my story about the cul-de-sac was so relevant. It's the same thing Yeah, you know, it's exactly the same. It is relevant Why
Starting point is 00:11:02 Is it that there were so many reviews, I don't know if you found this to be true, so many reviews specifically mentioning the cheese, like the cheese cups that one would get. Like a nacho cheese type thing? Yeah, let me see, I'm gonna see if I have brought one. I don't think I did, but Christina, it just kept coming up to the point where I feel like I could have done, like brought five reviews, all of mentioning cheese cups,
Starting point is 00:11:33 but they were so they weren't like particularly good on their own. But as a group, I'm like, what is happening? Why do all these different have stadiums have different policies regarding the cheese cups? Policy? Yes. I saw someone say, for some reason, they can't serve me a cheese cup with my pretzel, but yet there's a picture of it with the nachos. All this like, oh, they don't do that here. It's not part of the policy. And then people saying, like in yours, I saw a lot like,
Starting point is 00:11:58 oh, at least the cheese was good. And then the other people who were saying the cheese was the worst part, it was so gross. God, everyone's so. Cheese brought a lot out. Maybe it was just was yeah, the cheese holds a lot of power It sounds like and like i'm gonna say something controversial I do not like Queso, I don't like melted cheese. I don't like nacho cheese. I don't I don't like it and it's I know that it's uh, like
Starting point is 00:12:20 Factually delicious like I understand that you know much like chocolate ice cream. I get that. It's delicious a delicious food It's not my thing. I don't know but when we go anywhere mom always asks when you come back Can you bring me nacho cheese and it's like her yeah when you go anywhere you go into the doctor the other day and she Wanted you to bring back some nacho cheese I had to drive to the Lucas oil stadium to get her a fucking nacho cheese, but don't worry. I have some connections Yeah, I don't know I just love like oh football gave me a rush and then I felt better it's like wow Some people need I mean we all need therapy but like sometimes I'm like you should probably explore that, you know I was texting my fantasy football group and basically said
Starting point is 00:13:04 like I can relate because I basically was like this could not this season could not be starting at a better I'm gonna say better yeah because I could use the distraction I could use something like this um so yeah you know what football's given me a rush I I am very ready for something to look forward to each week when I don't always feel like I've... As someone who's really dedicated to my bingo cash game on my phone, and it really does give me quite a dopamine rush. I mean, that's obvious, that's a point, but as I've played it and I've tried to stop playing it, okay, again, it sounds like I've had a problem.
Starting point is 00:13:41 What I mean is sometimes I'll be distracted and I'll do something else and I'm like, I just want to play bingo again. So I sit down and play bingo again. I know, it sounds like I have another problem. What I mean is sometimes I'll be distracted and I'll do something else and I'm like, I just wanna play bingo again. So I sit down and play bingo again. I know, it sounds like I have a problem. But the point being, it gives me a rush, right? That's the point. That's why I keep coming back to it. And that's the point.
Starting point is 00:13:56 But I sense in Blaze that he gets that fucking same thing when it's fantasy football time because every spare moment he's like, let me just refresh, you know? Let me just refresh, check, text my group check whatever and I'm like man He feels that way about a fantasy football like I do about my bingo at cash game I unfortunately have lost a lot more money I think than he has and oh I'm 100% believe that yeah. Yeah, but it's okay
Starting point is 00:14:19 It's it really does give me a rush so that I can stop thinking about the pretzel that almost ruined my evening Good. Thanks. I Didn't say anything that would I just it's good. Okay one star This is of M&T bank to Stadium M&T Bank Stadium. That is wait for it. I Can give you a hint Minneapolis no, I can give you a hint. Minneapolis? No, I can give you a hint. Yeah. We've been there. Baltimore. Yeah. Yay! This is the, yeah, what stadiums have we been to together? Like two football stadiums? That was a good hint. Cause we were kids. We went to a Chargers game together? We did. Bangles Chargers.
Starting point is 00:15:06 It's rough times. Here's a one-star review. My wife is a Ravens fan and was punched in the face by a man who was also a Ravens fan after a game. Security and the police did nothing about it. This is a trash venue. End of review. Oh my god!
Starting point is 00:15:22 It's just like it's usually Disparaging of the other team, but this is infighting Friendly fire. I think it's one of the least surprising things you could see at an NFL stadium is someone punching someone else, but I would say that Usually it's not I mean at least from what I've experienced going to many football NFL games, it's not usually a man of one team punching a woman of the same, it's usually not a man punching a woman in general. It's usually not what I witnessed at the NFL stadiums.
Starting point is 00:15:56 So that is kind of shocking. I feel like that's less, yeah, that's like less, I would say notable, or I'm sorry, more notable than like, if it were just two dudes. It's less notable when a woman Ravens fan gets put in her place by a man's, That's like less I would say notable or I'm sorry more notable than like Woman Raven's fan gets put in her place by a man's that's what Christian just said I'm just crazy
Starting point is 00:16:17 Crazy no, I Unfortunately It's less I I imagine there's more brawls between men of opposing teams at these yes typically. Yeah. Yeah NFL fandom is uh the toxic Toxic we got spit on at that stadium. So we were children we did Christina I've been spit on Many times we don't need to know about that this is by this is from from Elise they she and
Starting point is 00:16:49 They wrote while searching through reviews of well, this one just says Stanford's football stadium. So, do you know the name of it? Fuck if I know Name it's Stanford Stadium. Yes. I told you yeah Got him while searching through reviews of Stanford Stanford's football stadium. I came upon a review by Fox This is not that review Here's a one-star review of the Stanford Stadium by Greg Piece of crepe food concession
Starting point is 00:17:24 now Hmm. How did you create CR a PE? piece of crepe food concession. Now, crepe? Yeah, but also the C is capitalized. So it looks like piece of crepe. It looks like it's almost meant to be a restaurant. And if it were spelled like a crepe, like a crepe, then maybe I would give that a little more thought, but I think that's just a typo. a crepe like a crepe crepe then maybe I would give that a little more thought but I think that I think that's just a typo yeah and I don't think any crepe crepe restaurant would want to name themselves piece of crepe I'm just saying there's a
Starting point is 00:17:56 lot of clever like fall restaurants where you're like well if people didn't know what foe was they'd be like why would you call that your restaurant you know I mean I guess but like I feel like you're not so negative, like a piece of crap about your playing on a piece of crap. Like, I don't want to go to a place that's I do because I'm like, what is up with you? Free? Yeah, true, true. Okay.
Starting point is 00:18:19 So as I kind of skimmed ahead, I was like, oh, wait, duh. Of course, this is this is is just like I'm sorry that I want you to there was a world where you thought that wasn't a typo No, but I was like, oh I could have given it and then I fast-forwarded in my mind and I went oh shit I forgot how fucking stupid this review is Blame Elise, please not me. Okay Piece of crepe food concession. They killed our family with poison fish and chips. Assholes. And their leader director told
Starting point is 00:18:50 the to make three hours early and set in the sun to keep warm. He went to Stanford and not USC apparently. All had to go to the ER to save our lives. Always bring your own food in from the outside to the game if you want to live. The concessions here might not even be able to cook a safe hot dog.
Starting point is 00:19:09 Jerk asses. End of review. I feel like there should be a news article that goes along with this review. In that if any of this is true, I think people deserve to know about this. Serves Greg right for eating at piece of crap food concessions or whatever it's called. Where they leave fish out for three hours in the sun. For what reasons? It had reasoning, right?
Starting point is 00:19:38 Oh, oh, I misunderstood. I thought it meant like, oh, they said that we should, okay, I'm having a totally different read on this review now. I thought it meant like, oh, they said that we should sit. Okay, I'm having a totally different read on this review now. I thought this was like a totally fake like, oh, and then they made me sit on the field for three hours. You're right. The director of the concession said they make them three hours early
Starting point is 00:20:01 and then they set them in the sun to keep them warm. I didn't get that till now. Who needs a heat lamp when you got the sun? Wow, he went to Stanford and not USC apparently is what it says. We all have to go to the ER to save our lives. Oh wow, so he really is saying they tried to kill our family. The food sent them to the hospital.
Starting point is 00:20:23 Well, you don't say killed our family because then I don't believe you immediately. Fair, no that's why I was. I immediately thought like, oh this is a phony review. Like this is just somebody making up a story. Now I'm like, oh I see, it just really disar, like he just disarmed me with that line where I thought, okay, okay, Greg.
Starting point is 00:20:43 The one about killing the family is the one that disarmed you just Just making that clear. Well because that was the disarming sentence. Oh He's just talking about them killing my family his family Yeah, because I know that's not true like I know that's not my arms are down. I'm putting my arms away I'm no longer bearing arms. That's you sorry that they're gone someone said oh the family's already killed I don't need my arms anymore I crossed out the second event minute yeah I'm back its whole goal the goal is completed because this man was family was taken out by fish
Starting point is 00:21:18 son fish son fish it was baked in the. I don't see the problem with that. Just kidding. I do um So good. I'm glad you cleared that one up. I want you to slander me again. Yeah, he loves to eat I would never fish sitting outside for three hours You sitting outside three hours or no either one I don't want Okay, here's a one-star review of good old Paycore Stadium, Cincinnati Bengals Stadium. We might have read this before, it's from five years ago. I don't know and I don't care. Here's a one-star review.
Starting point is 00:21:54 Most bland, boring stadium I've ever been to in the NFL. No personality to it and so out of date. Even just adding some paint to the gray concrete would spice the place up a bit. I feel bad for what's left of Bengals fans that have to watch games in that place." End of review. That's harsh. What's left of Bengals fans got me. It's almost, you know what that is? It's like disappointment is worse than anger. When someone
Starting point is 00:22:21 pities you, it feels more offensive. Don don't pity me you condescending jerk face Yeah, that was a pre Joe burrow bang. They're eating their words now. I was gonna say it's things have turned around quite a bit But yeah, I five years we're gonna we're gonna like read back The good old days back five years ago, yeah. Oh man. This episode is brought to you by Home Chef. In the summer, you'll probably find yourself spending a lot more money eating out.
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Starting point is 00:24:02 It's a new day. How can you make the most of it with your membership rewards points? must be an active subscriber to receive free dessert. and use them how you want, when you want. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Learn more at mx.ca slash ymx, terms apply. ["Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy"] Okay, I have a review. This was sent in by Stephanie and it's of MetLife Stadium. Oh goody. I've been there a couple times Did you know what? Oh, tell me which one which the Giants and the Jets? Oh, right. Oops I thought this was um Seattle for a minute It is not I was like that's not right. Oh actually it is. Yeah, I have thoughts on this stadium.
Starting point is 00:25:07 You do? First of all, it's a pain in the ass to get to by anything other than a car and the parking is awful. And it's just like, if you look at it, it's a parking lot. It's like a giant parking lot with a stadium in the middle. But, but it is one of only three stadiums in the NFL that was fully privately funded and not funded by the taxpayers Really? Yeah It's also located in New Jersey. So
Starting point is 00:25:36 It's like that going for it. Yeah it's got a good in the middle of not being funded by taxpayers and the bad on the outside of basically being a giant parking lot with a stadium in the middle and Being in New Jersey Well, you know what Alexander? I have a surprise for you. This is a five-star review that I'm bringing I am I had fun. I had a blast as a Bengals fan watching the Bengals win I had so much fun and it actually wasn't that bad of a stadium itself But may I ask first of all all, stop fucking backtracking
Starting point is 00:26:06 the second that I oppose you. Hold your ground. Stand for something. No. That sounds exhausting. Second of all, have you ever seen a concert at this minute? I have not. OK, so that is the difference between the other reviews
Starting point is 00:26:23 I brought. This one is relevant to a concert this person attended the Taylor Swift reputation tour here. Okay, and this is a five-star review on view from my seat and I know I know and this Stephanie found this It is floor 13 case anyone needs to know, floor 13, so this is like inside the, like on the field.
Starting point is 00:26:50 Floor 13, row 17, seat nine. View for my seat, for those who don't know, is a website where you can enter a stadium, I assume, I don't know if it's just the US, maybe some international ones, and you can enter a stadium and people will, it's like crowd sourced pictures of different areas of the stadium for different events.
Starting point is 00:27:11 You can find out like how your view is. You can see like the sun, if the sun's gonna be in your eyes, things like that. Like I use it. A pillar, a big pillar. Yeah, I use it all the time for baseball stadiums because I just went to a Guardians game. Well, it's helpful for baseball saves because it's like you can buy the cheaper
Starting point is 00:27:26 seats, but you can buy a cheap seat. That's not like the worst possible sheets. Yeah, you can. I don't know. I feel like I only ever use it for reds games. Yeah. And, and I mean, it's pretty obvious when you hear the name is called a view from my seat, but you know, just in case you didn't understand that's what it is.
Starting point is 00:27:42 But this person gave this seat a five stars, although I would argue that at any football game, this seat is not accessible because it is on the field. So that said, here's a five star review. At first, I thought I would be super far from the main stage, but the view was pretty good. I was literally right next to the B stage, and she was right in front of my eyes. My wig is somewhere lost in the Pacific Ocean.
Starting point is 00:28:07 100 out of 10, the concert was a blast. Anonymous. The Pacific Ocean. I don't get that. This is why I thought Seattle for a moment. Well, understandable. I thought, where, I was like, oh, interesting. I mean, that's kind of a silly thing to say, that your wig is lost in the Pacific Ocean. And then I Googled where I was like, oh interesting I mean that's kind of a silly thing to say that your wig is lost in the Pacific Ocean and then I googled where the
Starting point is 00:28:28 Stadium was and I went hang on now that it flat I flew cross-country. I mean, I guess that's saying something Maybe that's what they're saying. I don't really know. I don't I don't understand what they're trying to say through Magellan's pass I think that's exactly where it would go Around the Cape of Good Hope. I think it would do both of those. Yes Yeah, I think a lot of sense totally to do lost like I am on the ocean Yeah, it would for sure do that. And so yeah, the the wig is gone, but it was a hundred out of ten stars I just Listen if that's what it takes
Starting point is 00:29:01 That's what it takes. Yeah, you don't wait leave you to watch You don't have to watch the Giants or the Jets play football. Yeah. But the Jets, you know what they did have, and I don't know if they're bringing them back this year, but they've been on hiatus, is the flight crew. They're like dance cheer squad. Oh, fun. The flight crew. I saw them when I was there and I was like, man, they're stealing the show. flight crew and then They like I get it and then and then they'd stopped right after I saw them at a game and then after that season They've been on hiatus since so I hope they're back this year the flight crew They just did amazing work a shout out to my
Starting point is 00:29:40 Hometown Bengals always Yeah, yeah hometown Bengals always. Of course. Big fan of them. That's implicit. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, I'm gonna move on. This is a review sent in by Danielle of Lambeau Field. This is... Hang on. I know this. Wisconsin? Green Bay? Yeah. Yes. I was like, okay, I've never yes, you know weirdly And I feel like it took many years of my life before I realized like Green Bay was in Wisconsin No, no, but I guess a child I had And then I went hang on no, it's Green Bay and then I was like wait. Oh, there's a weird disconnect there, right? Yes, I agree. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, here's a one-star review this is where the Packers play here we go not a safe place a cult meets here end of review oh my god they're all wearing cheese on their head I mean yeah if you look at them I yeah yeah I mean I
Starting point is 00:30:42 believe they're also like most culty more more cult like of all the fandoms. For sure. NFL fandoms. For sure. Not of all fandoms. There's definitely more cult like fandoms out there. But as far as the NFL, one of the OGs and I believe they're like fully like owned by the fan, like it's a public. Oh, geez. It's yeah, it is a cult. I see. Yeah, I'm sure there's something about how it works. I don't know, but I think that they're the one team that's like
Starting point is 00:31:10 like fans can own a part of the team. Wow. Okay, and they can do uh, like perform witchcraft on the sidelines. So I guess that kind of tracks. It's a lot of dairy and beer based witchcraft. That's true. It's okay. Yeah, it's the kind I like, you know This is oh, I wonder what the melted cheese is like at that stadium You'd all that's the thing the reviews might be really bad, but because the bar so high exactly. Oh They would have to really step it up with that Yeah, and leave it in the Sun for at least four or five hours. At least. At least. This is a review sent in by Matt and Jen.
Starting point is 00:31:48 I actually have a couple because, do you remember where Matt and Jen are from? Michigan. Sure thing, and so they sent quite a few reviews. I have three, but they don't need to necessarily be read back to back, but they are all in relation, or in regards to the, in regards is not the right term for this. They all reference the Ohio-Michigan.
Starting point is 00:32:18 Rivalry? Rivalry, thank you. And so this is a one star review review of Michigan Stadium the big house what the big house is that what it's called okay maybe I'm wrong I don't know okay well big big blue house yeah big go blue okay I think that's what it's about bear in the big blue I heard you just say go Blue and said I'm gonna slander you now. Ha ha ha ha. I don't give a shit about this stupid ass rivalry.
Starting point is 00:32:49 I'll root for Ohio State over Michigan, but I'm a Cincinnati fan. You're swearing a little bit too much to keep it to you. How many people fit in the stadium? That's what's good. I think we need to talk about this now that we're bringing up college. I'd rather not.
Starting point is 00:33:01 These stadiums are fucking huge. The college football stadiums? Yeah, they're big NFL ones. I've never been to one to be clear. And then you're in Texas, those high school stadiums. You've never been to a single one? I don't think so. Unless somebody, unless you remember me going to one, but I don't remember going to one. I've gone, oh, well, I went to a UC football game one time, but it's not quite the same as like. That counts. And I don't remember it very much I was very little but here's a capacity is a hundred seven thousand six hundred one of Michigan Stadium also known as the big house
Starting point is 00:33:35 What's the OSU one? Cuz I know they I know everybody probably in this rivalry knows the answer but hundred two thousand seven hundred eighty in this rivalry knows the answer but 102,780 the other one was hundred seven thousand six hundred one 102,000 102,700 oh man I bet that gets thrown around okay here is a one-star view of the Michigan Stadium by Aaron go Bucks OH would not recommend if you would like to have a fantastic experience that will last a lifetime and be part of something magical- wait, sorry, a fantastic experience that will last a lifetime
Starting point is 00:34:17 doesn't feel like the right phrasing for a football game, but whatever, okay. If you would like to have a fantastic experience that will last a lifetime and be part of something magical, head on down a further south to Columbus, Ohio, and the Buckeyes will show you how to have a good time. Thanks for your time. Go Bucs. Hashtag TBDBITL. Do you know what that is? I had to look it up. Can you repeat it? TBDBITL. Oh, I wonder how many of us... It actually just showed me. This has to do with the Ohio State University marching band. Yeah, it's the best damn band in the land. Oh
Starting point is 00:35:00 yeah, I've seen them. My dad would be like like what's to biddle and they'd be like oh my god to bid a bittle yeah so wait how many do you have left like two or three I don't remember okay I might just read I'll can I read the next two just as part of this rivalry have fun okay okay thanks um this is a one-star view of the Ohio stadium so we're kind of going back and forth next to just as part of this rivalry. Okay. Oh, okay, thanks. This is a one-star view of the Ohio stadium. So we're kind of going back and forth here, also from Matt and Jen, and this is a one-star view by Lance.
Starting point is 00:35:33 Bad sounds and the band song selection could be much better. They played the same tune 30 plus times in a row. Unimpressive seating with no views whatsoever. I attended the Michigan OSU game and the Michigan marching band did their pregame show, but it was unheard due to the excessive booing. I might understand booing a team, but not a band who pours countless hours into practicing and learning a show. Horrible. End of review. Wait, sorry, who got booed? Michigan. The Michigan band?
Starting point is 00:36:07 This is at the Ohio Stadium. Yeah of course they did. I know but this person is a Michigan fan and I said why are you booing my band? They work so hard. And I play the tuba. I mean no I'm not in it. I'm weirdly affected by it. Yeah that's gotta be weird to be like just playing your trumpet and it's like everyone's just booing you. A cacophony of boos. I mean they know what they're getting Some really problematic phrasing of they know what they're getting into but literally like I mean as part of the they would probably boo the opposing marching band Yeah, I love I love that shit. I don't know. I love being an away fan
Starting point is 00:36:48 sometimes. Well, so I was an away fan rooting for the Yankees, which was a weird experience because you're like the bad guy, you know? I know. I don't like that feeling. It felt great. No, I didn't think I would and then I was in it and there was a kid who was like really excited and the Yankees. Oh, about the Yankees? No, no, no, about the angels. Alexander! And the Yankees were just like, just crushing them.
Starting point is 00:37:14 That is horrible. And it was just so fun. It was something about it was just so entertaining. I wasn't like mean to the kid. Look, I've been- Well, you kept spitting on him. I would call that pretty mean. He's an Angels fan. He deserves it.
Starting point is 00:37:28 No. I've been a Reds fan. I've been a Cincinnati sports fan. I don't have much success. I have not seen much success in my life for my sports fandom. So look, if another kid has to experience that, fine. I'm not causing the experience. I'm just relishing it. I'm not like causing the experience. I'm just relishing it. You know, I'm like relishing in the experience of
Starting point is 00:37:49 rooting for the right team. The winning team. Fine. You get some you get some good vibes from that. And then I was a Reds fan at a Yankees game with the Reds one. It was even more hilarious. Oh, well, that would be funny. The Yankees were flying and then the Reds come in and are like, ha ha, we're gonna actually win a game against you. And then we like swept the Yankee. It was a whole thing. I only have feel funny or feel good and find it funny
Starting point is 00:38:16 when there are other people who are on my side. Otherwise I feel like a douchebag. Like if I'm like, oh, multiple people here, we're all rooting for. I think I was the only one in my section, but I had so much fun with it. Oh my God, I don't understand that. I was like, woo, and I was standing up, because they would all do the same thing
Starting point is 00:38:33 if they were at the Red Stadium. So I was like, you know what? But you didn't boo the Yankees marching band, right? They didn't have the marching band, but they brought out all these like, veterans and children and stuff. And anyone they brought out all these like veterans and children and stuff and everyone they brought out. Nurses, paramedics. Yeah they had a salute to all these like. A lot of like volunteers at the local homeless shelter. Cancer patients.
Starting point is 00:38:58 Cancer patients. They actually carted those like there was like someone near my section and I threw my drink at him. You got drink at him you got a Yankees hat on well cuz you ran out of spit you had spit on that kid so much yeah I was just like just spitting dry just like so careful with that nacho cheese they don't want you you know throwing that at veterans yeah so I loaded it into my mouth and then squirted it out okay I'm gonna keep going here's the one star review. No, I have one more. I have one more. Okay, keep going. Okay, this is the third one in the rivalry and this is the end of the rivalry. I'm fixing it right now. This is the end of it. This is a one star review of Michigan Stadium. So we're back
Starting point is 00:39:38 up north and it's a one star view by Larry. It was horrible. There was a smell of loser in the air. I almost puked. Go Buggies! Okay, I love it. I'm in. I love that he phrases it like it was horrible. Like he was there. Like, you know he went there.
Starting point is 00:39:56 And then it was like, now I want to shit on him. I didn't even do it just for fun from afar. I went and then I got to say all this crap. I love that actually that was that might be my favorite review of the day. Smell of loser in the air. So good. Okay here's a two-star review this is of Nippert Stadium. Yes. Yes. You see. The one that you maybe have been to? I was there one time I don't know if I watched the whole game But I was only there because you wanted to go and I remember being very bored
Starting point is 00:40:29 I went there with dad, but I don't think you were there when I know I was there mom was there and she and I Were both very bored. I don't know why mom and I were there Did we I don't know if I was there because I have been one time Really as far as I know with the dad watching UC Play University of South Florida, I wanna say. And I remember because it was, what's his name? I think it was Kevin Huber was punting for the Bearcats. And I remember someone talking about, oh, how the Bengals should draft him.
Starting point is 00:41:02 And then they did and he was he was like one of the our best punters ever and I think historically I don't know anyway and you saw you you and he's since retired him you scouted him as an eight-year-old I did pretty cool yeah here's a two-star review of the Nippert Stadium which is I want to say one of the oldest stadiums, football stadiums in the country. Sure felt like it. I was really bored there. Okay. Well, sorry.
Starting point is 00:41:33 Here is a review. First of all, this stadium is basically a hole in the ground. The city of Cincinnati itself leaves much to be desired. There was a constant smell of marijuana as soon as we got on campus, which is unacceptable. Some drunk Cincinnati fans tried to steal some of our equipment and hit people with it. Not only were the fans invading our section, but they put us in the corner all the way in the end zone, which smelt of sewage the whole game. Also, the most disappointing thing was the concession stand selection. They sold cups of cheese by itself, didn't have hot dogs,
Starting point is 00:42:09 and they had Pepsi products. That in itself is a crime. End of reveal. I forgot two things. One, I forgot this was one of those that mentioned the cheese cups. Two, this is from Gregory. Did I say that? I don't remember. Oh no you didn't. Okay, that's very fun. I mean, okay. Oh lots of thoughts I feel like the funniest part is the most disappointing thing was the concessions the worst part of the whole experience even though apparently it was like violent and
Starting point is 00:42:39 They were invaded there was sewage But it was a crime that they had Pepsi products. Yeah. You know what? I feel like this person has like a little like almost like a health inspector clipboard because it feels like they're like strike one, strike two, like, you know, everything that happens, they're notating. But I do wonder what equipment were they carrying that was stolen?
Starting point is 00:43:02 Do we think? I don't know. Is this one of the football players? You know, it's how it sounds. When you think equipment in football, you think that like uniforms and things. I wonder if they were carrying signs and, uh, I don't know, things to cheer with. And they calling, they're calling it equipment to make it seem more. It was like a pom-pom. Like one of these like, yeah. And they're like it equipment to make it seem more... It was like a pom-pom, like one of these like...
Starting point is 00:43:25 Yeah, and they're like, our equipment. They stole our equipment and tried to hit me with it. I hope it wasn't like medical equipment that they needed. Oh, I sure hope not. I'd like to think they'd be more specific. They tried to steal some of our equipment and hit people with it. Yeah, it sounds like they had like...
Starting point is 00:43:39 It sounds like, yeah. Some sort of fan gear. Mom said she took both of us when we were really little okay so I don't mean I think I was genuinely like six years old so you were very well I do not remember that then we got to the bottom of Nippert Stadium well mom says she gets cheap tickets so is asking if we want to go. I'll just say no. I'll say what's the deal with the cheese? Has it updated? I would go. Yeah, do they still sell it? Do they? Is it priced individually? Is it a la carte nacho cheese or is it included? Okay, let's see. I have one more review.
Starting point is 00:44:25 The fifth oldest stadium in college football. Oh, that's pretty cool. I say very excitedly. This is a review set by Phoenix Sheher of Loom and Field. That is where the Seahawks play, am I right? Very good. That's why I got mixed up earlier. Okay, that and the Pacific Ocean comment. This is a two star review. Oh, for those of you who are not in this nation
Starting point is 00:44:53 or are very bad at geography, trust me, I don't judge. New Jersey is on the Atlantic Ocean and all the way across the United States, it's the Pacific Ocean, where Seattle is. So if you didn't understand the wig going through the Strait of Magellan, I didn't understand that either. So you're not alone there. Okay, this is a two-star review by Lily.
Starting point is 00:45:20 Seahawks is a pretty unique mascot, which I appreciate, and the color scheme is satisfying. However, the new logo makes me anxious. They should consider adding a new element to the sport to make it more entertaining. Perhaps a trampoline field so it's easier for us nosebleed seats to see the action. Got any more to add? By the way, I think Yelp asks that.
Starting point is 00:45:42 As you're like, as you type type, it bullies you a little bit in a passive aggressive way where it's like, you need to keep going, it's not 100 characters. And then it's like, are you sure you don't have any more to say? It gets a little sassy. So then Lily writes, got any more to add? Yes, I do.
Starting point is 00:46:01 They need someone new on Ox, perhaps some Rihanna. And then there's a photo, like kind of a blurry photo of the field, like almost diagonally taken from definitely the nosebleeds. And there's like a blurry back of someone's head in the photo, in the foreground. And it says, the caption says, me, ha. So this might be a child. Sorry. I think blurry, tilted photo. I don't know why. I think.
Starting point is 00:46:31 But like why is it says me? But it's like that's the back of your head. Who took that? I guess somebody you were with. I don't know. Right. It's a full-grown woman. I have no idea what's going on.
Starting point is 00:46:45 Okay, good. I believe you. I believe you. I just love that the new logo makes her anxious. Yeah, I don't even know about the new logo. I don't know either. This was in 2021, so I don't know. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:46:55 Can you look it up for me? I can try. Is it like one of those triptophobia where it's like a bunch of holes? It's just a naked man what that makes me anxious too oh wait is this their new look oh wait what wait we're okay i don't know i don't know did they have a new logo i don't i don't think they do logo? I don't I don't think they do. Maybe they do. What's Hey, can I tell you something? It literally says 2012 to present.
Starting point is 00:47:32 Okay, well, you know what, maybe that's the new logo. Okay, well, whatever. Anyway, I have one last one. This was sent in by Mariah and this is of Levi's Stadium. Levi's? and this is of Levi's Stadium Levi's mm-hmm Tennessee nope I don't know San Francisco 49ers that's the Levi's Stadium I didn't know that it is and here is a one-star review I don't care if my own funeral was held here. I would never come again That is and that that's got to hurt for people who are big fans it would be like man What a dream to have your funeral there and then then this person's like, I'd rather die all over again.
Starting point is 00:48:26 I'd rather be thrown in an empty hole somewhere. I'd rather just be tossed. Empty pit, into a fuckin' garbage heap. Oh, an empty pit, there's the Nippert Stadium. Oh, true. We can throw you down there, big hole in the ground. That's a nice one actually, yeah. A la carte nacho cheese to your heart's desire.
Starting point is 00:48:40 You can throw me in there if you want. I think I did when we were like five, I'm pretty sure. Yeah. That was after I stole your five, I'm pretty sure. Yeah. That was after I stole your equipment. Didn't finish the job. Yeah. I'd hit you with it. All right, is it time for my challenge?
Starting point is 00:49:02 I guess so. You tell me. Fantastic. Okay, time for my challenge? I guess so. You tell me. Fantastic. Okay, this is my challenge. It was to find reviews about power tools written by lesbians. Yes. And I'm really amped about this. Several people brought...
Starting point is 00:49:15 Okay, I did something a little... How many amps? What? How many amps? How many amps? Yeah, and the power tools. For the power... How many amps are you?
Starting point is 00:49:23 Seventy... Five. Seventy-twelve? Five? Seventy-twelve. power tools for the power how many amps are you seventy five seventy twelve five okay sounds right to me this is what I'm gonna do here so do you know the publication or the media company autostraddle I don't okay so autostraddle for those who don't know is a news and I'm just gonna read straight from their little blurb a news and entertainment site for LGBTQ plus women and other trans people covering dating fashion politics television film and whimsy for a thriving online community Whimsy I know I love that they were like politics and whimsy you get forget that you cannot forget the whimsy. I think oh
Starting point is 00:50:06 Need more fucking whimsy in this Auto straddle is bringing it but I followed them on Instagram for a long time I haven't spent much time on their website, but I thought to a UTO it is yes straddle str DDL Strang you okay. Never mind. You know what? I mean? Yes. Yes, and Okay, nevermind. You know what I mean, yes. Yes, and so I followed them for a while and I didn't realize like how,
Starting point is 00:50:28 I just thought it was kind of like social media content. I didn't realize their whole website is like very, very expansive. And so a couple people sent this in. It's an article about using power tools and the title is A Butch's Guide to Your First Toolkit. Nice. I know and it's by Wynn and so, okay.
Starting point is 00:50:52 In addition to the people who sent the article to me, Steph found this particular comment that I'm gonna read and then of course I went into the comments further and dug up some more. Amazing. But basically because I tried to find reviews, anything I tried to find on like Amazon was like e-literature, like queer, queer literature. And so no matter how many times I wrote like DeWalt, I was like trying everything to find reviews and they were all like-
Starting point is 00:51:23 It's so much of a stereotype that like... I know. I know that it became a book trope. It's now like a trope that is used elsewhere. Yeah, that makes sense. And so I tried that, then I tried like Home Depot and stuff, but every time I went into like a Home Depot or Lowe's, it would be like, buy this Pride sticker for your truck and then like, it said... And if you don't want that that then you can also buy this
Starting point is 00:51:46 Thin blue line sticker in the same page and I was like wow this is a weird place and I'm sure many Lesbians who are using their power tools and or rating the power tools aren't necessary Are also like yeah, I'm just a human being who uses our tools That's where the problem is true Who's going to be like, Hey, I'm a lesbian. So, you know, I use power. Like what the fuck? Like nobody's. But if they did, it would be funny. That's why this whole, this concept. I know. Exactly. And so I had to find, I had to go straight to the source. Got it. I'm glad you did.
Starting point is 00:52:21 And so that's what we did. Thank you everyone who sent the article. The first comment Steph sent. you everyone who sent the article. The first comment Steph sent, I did skim the article. It's very, basically the comments consensus is you fucking nailed it, so to speak. And so here is one of the comments up top. This is by Loose. My pops outfitted a toolbox for me for Christmas one year it had most of what you suggest plus a socket set metric and English A level a square and an all otherwise. I think you got everything We bought ourselves a drill about a year ago cobalt with a second battery pack Which was great for building our kids playhouse end of comment
Starting point is 00:53:02 So basically I'm bringing these comments as reviews nice if that's okay That makes sense. I think that's it has to be because I don't have any other That's perfect. I'm the one who picked a challenge that plays into uh, stereotypes of yeah. Yeah Gay women so yeah, and I love that. I think you're allowed to do whatever you want without on their site You know where they're like fully this like very big safe awesome communal you know, where they're like fully, this like very big, safe, awesome communal space. They're like, fuck yeah, I'm a lesbian, use power tools.
Starting point is 00:53:31 Maybe not on Home Depot's website, you know? So here's another- Home Depot, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, you get it. Here's a response from the author of the article, Wynn. So I love Wynn because they responded to most of the comments. So, because most of the comments were,
Starting point is 00:53:53 what a shocker, all positive. And so there were 68 of them too. So I have a couple kind of catty comments, but everything else was so kind and supportive and nice. What a surprise. And so in response to that one about like my pops toolbox, this is what Wynn, the author of the article had to say. What a great tradition. My mom's side has a tradition of gifting a toolbox with essential tools for every child's college graduation. My dad's side always stuck a tool like a leveler screwdriver into your
Starting point is 00:54:25 Christmas stocking. Definitely traditions I'll carry on with my own children." End of review. I love it. I have a Leatherman from dad. He gave me one. He and I drove a car. I got a car in Cincinnati and then drove back to LA and he brought that and then at the end of the trip he gave it to me and was like hold on to this. I've used it a lot. Yeah I still have it. Other than that I just have like cheap tools that I bought on like probably Amazon like 10 years ago. I know, same. I have like IKEA tool sets which I'm sure are not you know not where it's at. I feel like I could learn so much from this article, I'm sure. I'm serious.
Starting point is 00:55:06 I have bookmarked it because I was like, as everyone who listens to and that's what Drink knows, when I put up curtains, I'm known to occasionally just nail them straight to the wall because I'm like, I don't have time for this. Oh yeah. And it's really not the best way to do home renovations. I'm learning right now.
Starting point is 00:55:24 I didn't know that. I know, see, it's like right now, I didn't know that. See, it's like, I know you didn't know that already. But as someone who's older than you and wiser, it's about time I teach you that kind of a lesson. Okay, here, although to be fair, your curtains did fall off the other day. Oh, they've been on the floor for months because I can't get them to stay up and I need help.
Starting point is 00:55:42 That's because you tried to use tools and I told you to staple them and you said no. Okay. Yeah. Here's another comment slash review on this article by Shay. I feel called out, like you can see all the things currently being held together by tape, hope, and rubber bands in my apartment.
Starting point is 00:56:01 Quote, have you been using a thick-soled shoe to power that nail into your wall? End quote. Actually, it's a hockey puck. And a review. That cracked me up. That's so funny. And then here is a comment by Holly.
Starting point is 00:56:22 Hockey puck, what a good idea, sorry. I know. I was messing, not that I what a good idea, sorry. I know. I was about to say, not that I have a hockey puck, I do have a hockey puck lying around. Is it like signed? Yeah. So maybe I shouldn't be using that. Don't like wear off the silver Sharpie or whatever.
Starting point is 00:56:33 Yeah, it's easy other side. But I've used much more delicate and, I wouldn't say more valuable, but like definitely valuable and breakable items to nail things into the wall, so. I'm the kind of person who who if he needs to open a bottle and it's usually like a bottle of overpriced like soda, not like a beer bottle,
Starting point is 00:56:54 I'll just use whatever the closest table is to me. And so some of my tables have chips in them because I'm too lazy to get an actual tool to do it. I have some right here on this little side table. Yeah, me too, right here on this little side table Yeah, me too right here on this little side table. Yeah We're so fucking predictable Cam but yeah, and then and then I inevitably find out it's a screw top. So that's fine Okay, so here's a comment from Holly and I would say as any by the way these
Starting point is 00:57:23 Most of these have positive music for editing purposes but some are some get a little catty so we'll get to that. Here's a positive comment from Holly. I feel a very accomplished glow as I own every one of these and then some except the plunger but that's because I live in a country with plumbing networks and I also feel very satisfied with that life choice okay to be fair as someone who lives in a country I think where plumbing works I definitely advise that my family and other families get a plunger because sometimes you need it I don't think it's like I'm curious I don't think it's like oh I would never need a'm curious. I don't think it's like,
Starting point is 00:58:05 oh, I would never need a plunger. I live in, you know, a place that's fun. Is that never a thing? I like, no, yeah, I wonder if. Okay, maybe you're right. Maybe it's like a place in Europe that's far more advanced than we are with like, We, yeah, where it's.
Starting point is 00:58:17 But the buildings there are older, you know? So I'm like, I don't, I wouldn't say any country is like, is like plunger free, you know? Christine 2024, no country left behind. No country plunger free. No country plunger free. Oh my God, okay.
Starting point is 00:58:37 I'm curious now, wait, is that not a thing? Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I literally don't know. This is the only rest of the context we get from Holly. But that's because I live in a country with plumbing networks, and I also feel very satisfied with that life choice. Although in true femme form,
Starting point is 00:58:53 I keep all my non-power tools in a decorative suitcase in my living room. Because why not? End of comment. Love that. Love that Holly's really just like feeling their life choices, like I'm fucking nailing life right now. I've got a glow about me.
Starting point is 00:59:10 So while plungers are still somewhat common in Europe, it's because the American toilets have a different design. And with more water and an inverted U-trap. Yeah, they do this thing. So it makes the toilet a bit easier to clog and like yeah when you consider how much water is in an American toilet Compared to like a German toilet. That's fair and there's more efficiency focused and yeah and like also now I'm thinking about it Yeah, like and how it's designed a plunger would have to it's like a different design. Yeah, like just the okay Okay, so I stand stand corrected Holly probably lives somewhere more advanced in the US who would have thought that such a place exists but here we are this is our
Starting point is 00:59:54 football episode American football fucking thing I regret it I regret someone tried to sneak some soccer in there and I was like you know what I don't It was someone who was like as I'm the review itself mentioned football and I think at the email said as I'm reading this I'm realizing this is not a Was just giving them shit No, it was like a Canadian soccer team just giving them shit. No, it was like a Canadian soccer team. Oh, that's funny. Oh, so even North America just not. Yeah, yeah. It was I think BMO. Anyway, anyway, sorry. Shout out to that person that I forget
Starting point is 01:00:33 and I'm sorry for calling you out. Sorry for bullying you. Okay. This is a negative comment I would say. Okay. Ready for it. The user's name is Oof and I can only imagine that's kind of created for this particular comment. As a femme that loves power tools and woodworking, I've also repaired my grandmother's furniture in heels and a skirt using a nail file, wood glue, and a rolled up copy of Cosmo magazine parentheses ouch to the article title. End of review. Before I give you kind of the response, I'm gonna read one more negative one that just kind of goes along with that.
Starting point is 01:01:09 And it was in response to OOF. This one says, yeah, when I tried to read it, it automatically directed me to a makeup tutorial. End of response. And then incidentally, someone named Karen responded to both of those and said, the article refers to the butch who wrote the article.
Starting point is 01:01:30 Yeah. Because it literally says a butch's guide to your first toolkit, like to whoever you are. They're misreading it as, this is a guide for a butch. For tools. Yeah, exactly, exactly. And I can see where that would be like,
Starting point is 01:01:43 wait a minute, you know, because it's in the title. There's confusion, if that's what it was, But like, that's not what like that is. I did not get that vibe at all. I don't think they even must have read it because you read it. It's like very clear, like, hey, I'm just trying to give advice to anyone who, you know, I mean, it's not like get out of here. If you're fem presenting, you know, that it's not what is, it's not what I took from it. But, you know, that, so this person, Karen, would go through and respond that it's about the author. I'm like everyone, which I love, because even the like offended comments,
Starting point is 01:02:15 which honestly like talk about, that's as far, that's as negative as they got. I read all 68 comments. The most negative was like, ouch, that kind of hurt my feelings, you know? Like that was as far as it went. Or like kind of sassy, catty comments. And then Karen went in and was like, no, no,
Starting point is 01:02:33 let me just explain, it's about the author. I mean, that's it, there was no like, I'm sure there is in other pages, but like this article for some reason was so wholesome in the comment section. And just very, for once, very fun to read and informative at the same time. And funny, even though a lot of them were positive.
Starting point is 01:02:58 So anyway, it's just rare that we find this. So again, thank you for this challenge. Now I have, I think one more comment. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm Okay, here we go. This is the last comment I'm gonna read and this one is definitely a review and it's definitely a positive review. It's by Paula and here goes Wow, there's nothing like tools to get the comments section in action like tools to get the comments section in action. Hammers. Nothing marks you as a rookie more than showing up on a job site and with a wood or fiberglass slash rubber handled hammer. Estwing claw hammer, here's the link, is the only way to go. Great balance and weight, perfect for driving
Starting point is 01:03:36 nails including the one on your thumb so be careful. Cordless drill. Get a good variable speed one, something that can also be used as a power screwdriver or vice versa Trust me your wrist will be thankful Better for your wrist to be sore doing something fun like screwing instead of driving screws end of comment Oh, that's so good And then someone wrote I see what you did there and I was like I was like, yeah, we all did what they did there. But yeah. Anyway, so that was like the summation of all of the lesbian power.
Starting point is 01:04:09 And it's because this is a website. I mean, this article was specifically written by someone who identifies as a lesbian. I was like, perfect. There's no guessing. I'm just going straight to the source. That's why I did think it would be a silly a silly goofy fun challenge where it's like it's not like reviews about Lesbians using our tools. It's reviews from a lesbian. You know exactly exactly Yeah, it's so silly and I'm glad I love how like self-aware a lot of people are like, yep
Starting point is 01:04:41 That's me, you know the lesbian with the power tool my friends all call me when they need you know, it just felt very You know tongue-in-cheek and Very very wholesome at the same time. So anyway, shout out to autostraddle It really is it I've been finding for years before I even knew I was bisexual. It's a great website I'll check it out. I'm surprised. I haven't heard of it like it's really They post a lot of really great stuff on Instagram, too. I mean, that's where I first discovered them. But because like I am very much on lesbian TikTok. I've been on for a while. Definitely. And I'm I get a lot of well, I get a lot of just like, LGBTQ plus like content in general, a lot of like trans content.
Starting point is 01:05:26 And it's so much fun. And I just love being in that space and getting to like experience it without participating. Yeah, because there's just- Yeah, there are moments like what you just, sorry, no, there are moments like what you just said of some people commenting either within the community or from without, or from outside.
Starting point is 01:05:46 And sometimes there's like this negativity. And I find it, it's so much more rare than in what I've found in other types of videos. But I feel like it's more common that someone will be that person who will jump in and kindly correct somebody. Kindly, it's so true. Or multiple people.
Starting point is 01:06:07 Yeah, and I wanna be clear too, I didn't wanna sound, and I'm not saying anyone thought this, but just my own head is thinking back, and I don't wanna belittle the community as like, oh, they're just so wholesome, and don't, that's not what I mean. It's obviously very nuanced and very, but the way that people handled, like what you said,
Starting point is 01:06:23 the way that people handled like like what you said like the way people handled disappointment or disagreeing views was just so much less like volatile it seemed in general then I Mean if I read 68 comments on like even cruise critics I was gonna say 60 comments a lot that to me that means drama something People exactly and so like the fact that there were dozens of reviewers, or commenters, and just helpful tips, not even saying, usually even in a cooking article, I find comments that are like, don't do it that way, they did it wrong. And I just was so surprised, that's the only reason I brought it up.
Starting point is 01:07:03 But yeah, not to say there is not quote, infighting or nuance or layers or negativity. That's not what I meant. But you're right. It feels like a lot of times generally in a very general way of speaking, more constructive than like destructive. Well, I feel like it's just a big part of it's probably,
Starting point is 01:07:23 it's just, yeah, it's just a space and Just by virtue of like who is invited to it or who's meant to be there. It's a safe space not necessarily like Saying that about it, but then you go to these other spaces that are like Purposefully not a safe space like that are very toxic. It's so toxic So yeah, it's nice to know that they still there still exists this like some I don't know when we don't even identify in that group But we still feel welcome to like just be there to just like observe and watch and be like, oh, this is fun you know, and we'll see how long it takes before straight people get in there like me and
Starting point is 01:08:03 Then the P of the vocal ones are ruining it. Yeah, yeah, yeah make it about themselves and then um, yeah, psycho. Yeah, I started it hasn't quite gone on. Working on that you're trying to you're commenting on all of these. I think it's because I'm a bisexual woman. Yeah, I'm not like close you need I need to bring in my straight white brother. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've got so much to say about everything. Well these issues really affect you. Yeah, me especially. You would probably know more than most people in this group about what their experience in life is like. So yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Perfect.
Starting point is 01:08:37 I think just by nature of who I am. Yeah, well exactly. Straight white man. God made you. God made me in his image and guess whose image Knows everything is everywhere God's our image. We sure we sure did not Keep God is not a gay woman Okay, well now that's that was too far cuz that and that's probably that is what I'm gonna cut and when you When you run against me for Congress, I'm gonna take and when you when you run against me for Congress I'm gonna take that and say look what he said. I can't believe we started this as if I was talking about NFL stadiums. I don't know. And now I'm saying God's not a gay woman as if that's like anything. As if that's true. As if it's true or even worth saying. Y'all, thanks for listening. If you can't tell, it's been a time,
Starting point is 01:09:28 but we're getting through it. And next week we've got a really silly one for you. I'm excited for this next one. I'm really excited. And people sent in some great ones. So thank you patrons for being patient as we push the theme one over. And yeah, to everyone else, like I said in the intro and like Zandi just
Starting point is 01:09:45 said like we're good we're fine we're just chugging along and you know life is life and I think you all probably get it so we will see you next week and as always what am I supposed to say something We don't have an as always at the end of our episode. That's a wrong podcast. As always, God is a gay woman. Bye. Bye. Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet is a Forever Dogg production, hosted and produced by Zandi
Starting point is 01:10:14 and Christine Schieffer. Cover art by Courtney Aventura. Theme music by Mavis White. Executive produced by Zoe Applebaum. Forever Dogg Productions is Joe Silio, Alex Ramsey, and Brett Boehme.

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